Jokes TIME!!

Three blokes are working up on an outback mobile phone tower: Mongrel, Coot and Bluey.

During their descent, Coot slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, bugger me,someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife.

Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.

Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?'

'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies.

'That's unbelievable; you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?

'Well, not exactly', Mongrel says. 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "you must be Coot's widow."'

She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.'

Then I said, 'I'll betcha a case of beer you are.'

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a
Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home.
You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without
anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read:
'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
which is designed to cut through a seat belt
if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man
ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.

Traffic Camera

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

You can't fix stupid.

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it.. Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me..

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Female comebacks for cheesy pick-up lines :

Man: Where have you been all my life?

Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?

Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.*

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.*

Man: Your place or mine?

Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.*

Man: So, what do you do for a living?

Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?

Woman: Do not enter. *

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.

Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.

Woman: But would you stay there?*

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. *

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together

Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together *

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.

Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt?

Women: Seeing your face? Yes, yes it did.

85/100 stupid things that I have done: Marked in bold (wow I feel stupid)

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails( Saving a paper which was falling down) 3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it (NO JOKE BUT THAT HURT)
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking (SHEESH, It happens to everyone)
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head (yeah...all the time)
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself (DONT HAVE ONE)
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion (I am crazy but NOT stupid)
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave (Sorry mum)
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair (And my friends)
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a grape squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot (All the time) 21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else(I don't have a real gun)
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock(I advice others not to try)
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else (Hugged him too) 34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard(NOT MY FAULT brother was distracting me)
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house(Not earrings but shoes) 42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small (DONT LIKE RINGS)
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil (Purposely too)
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on(Especially on my birthday) 57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side.
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it (I threw the spot away and realised later that my iPod was in it) 69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught multiple times.
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid(Right now, I told my friend but then he saw the test)
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off(I somewhat enjoy pain)
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back(Why do they?)
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird(I love my tongue and the work it does) 88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria(He was getting on my nerves)
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs (I own all dogs around the compound)
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before (Spelt it as Lona)
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class.

100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth(Dont try this at home)

Alright so I am stupid...BUT I AM PROUD!!!!!!!!!

YOUR GUY SIDE:

x You love hoodies.
x You love jeans.
x Dogs are better than cats
x It's hilarious when people get hurt.(BROTHER)
x You've played with/against boys on a team.
x Shopping is torture. (Especially for clothes)
x Sad movies suck
x You own/ed an X-Box.
x Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
x At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter. (Still kinda do)
x You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
x You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
x You watch sports on TV.(All the time)
x Gory movies are cool.
x You go to your dad for advice. (Depends for what) x You own like a trillion baseball caps.
x You like going to high school football games. (I end up playing it though I am the youngest) x You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
x Baggy pants are cool to wear.
x It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
x Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
x You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
x Sports are fun
x Talk with food in your mouth.
x Sleep with your socks on at night.

TOTAL: 15/25

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

x You wear lip gloss/stick.
x You love to shop
x You wear eyeliner.
x You wear the color pink.
x Go to your mom for advice.
x You consider cheerleading a sport. (Dont consider a sport but HAVE to do it because I am one of the only acrobat/gymnastic in school)
x You hate wearing the color black.
x You like hanging out at the mall.
x You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
x You like wearing jewelry.
x Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
x Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
x You don't like the movie Star Wars.
x You were in gymnastics/dance (Gymnastics)
x It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
x You smile a lot more than you should
x You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.(I dont think sneakers count)
x You care about what you look like.
x You like wearing dresses when you can.
x You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne(Have asthma)
x You love the movies. (Depends ion the movie) x Used to play with dolls as little kid.
x Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
x Like being the star of every thing

Total: 3/24 To think I am a girl...

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.(Sometimes)

Been Waiting:

A. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle
B. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer
C. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOU

1. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Dont Worry Be Happy- Guy Sebastion( Now that is awesome)

2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Galaxy- Jessica Mauboy

3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Papparazzi- Lady GaGa( Wait, what?...)

4. WHAT IS 22?
Empty- Jessica Mauboy

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Little Bad Girl- David Guetta(That is awesomely true...)

6. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Rolling In The Deep.- ADELE( I dont even like anyone...)

7. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Wide Awake- Katy Perry

8. WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Dont Hold Your Breath- Nichole Scherzinger (are You Saying I Wont Live?)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Take A Bow- Rihanna ( I DONT LIKE ANYONE!)

10. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Give Me Everything- Pitbull( I dont even ask for anything except food...)

11. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
On The Floor- Jennifer Lopez

12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Can Anybody Tell Me- Jessica Mauboy (That would suit soo well)

13. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBIE/INTREST?
Boom Boom Pow- Black Eyed Peas (I am now confused!)

14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Last Friday Night- Katy Perry(What did I do either from sleep...)

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
The Lazy Song- Bruno Mars

16. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Foreign- Jessica Mauboy

17. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Bulletproof- La Roux( I wont be shot!!)

18. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET?
Hush,Hush,Hush,Hush- Pussy Cat Dolls

19. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Firework- Katy Perry

20. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Forget Your Name- Jessica Mauboy( WHAT!!!!)

21. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Once Upon a Dream- Various Artists (!!)

22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Chasing The Sun- The Wanted(I wont be trying...)

23. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Without You- David Guetta

24. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Because- Jessica Mauboy (I guess I would change some of my reasons)

25. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Dont Wake Me Up- Chris Brown

26. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Been Waiting- Jessica Mauboy

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Launa

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: First 3 letters of real name plus izzle: Lauizzle (Same as eeveeluvr...creepy)

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: Favorite color and favorite animal: Blue Cheetah(hehehehehehe!)

4. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: 2nd Favorite color and favorite drink: Black Lemonade(If that is possible...)

5. YOUR ARAB NAME: 2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name: Aesicce

6. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: Mothers and father's middle name: Caroline Nickolas

7. YOUR GOTH NAME: Black and the name of one your pets: Black Blizzard(That is just wierd)

8. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: Favorite fruit and something that can go wrong: Rambutan Electricity(I repeat WHAT!!)

9. YOUR PIRATE NAME: Any color and a pirate accessory: Grey Hook

10. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: Your middle name and street you live on: Saphire Lambert

11. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: First 3 letters of your last name and first 2 letters of your first: Stela (Isnt that a real name)

12. YOUR STREET NAME: Favorite ice-cream and favorite cookie: Wild Berry Chocolate Chip(Um...)

Here's 100 random questions:

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? Nope

2) Do you hate more than 3 people? Only 2

3) How many houses have you lived in? One but I am moving soon

4) Favorite candy bar? Cruncy or Dream

5) Favorite shoes? My blue and green striped white sneakers

6) Have you ever tripped someone? Yeah...she was the person I hate!!

7) Least favorite school subject? English..I SPEAK ENGLISH FINE!!

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? she is Ok but I am not that addicted to her...so no

10) Have you ever thrown up in public? Not that I remember but my mum said I did in prep

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. Jokes

12) Favorite genre of music? Pop

13) What is your zodiac sign? Um...picies

14) What time were you born? 8:45pm

15) Do you like beer? No...never tried it...never will

16) Ever made a prank phone call? I havent made A prank call but about 100 prank calls

7) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? My pacific Lua Afe dance

18) Are you sarcastic? Me? Sarcastic? Nooooo...

19) What are your favorite colors? Blue, Black, Green, Grey, White

20) How many watches do you own? Used to own a million but they all broke

21) Summer or winter? Winter...

23) Favorite color to wear? White and Blue and Orange

24) Pepsi or Sprite? Sprite

25) What color is your cell phone? iPhone colours

26) Where is your second home? Up a tree near my compound

27) Have you ever slapped someone? Yeah...everyone I know...sometimes on accident

28) Have you ever had a cavity? Nope

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? ZERO

30) How many video games do you own? Should I really bother counting?

31) What was your first pet? A Cat

32) Ever had braces? Nope

33) Do looks matter? To losers

34) Do you use chapstick? Nope

35) Name 3 teachers from your High School. Uh...they change every year!!!

36) American Eagle or Abercombie? I dont mind any for this one

37) Are you too forgiving? Yes. Very.

38) How many children do you want? TWO...or Three. I dont want to be the cause of rising green house gases

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? I guess...

40) Favorite breakfast meal? PANCAKES!!!

41) Do you own a gun? No

42) Ever thought you were in love? Boys in my school are like stalkers soooo no chance

43) When was the last time you cried? ...All I know is that I havent cried in a LONG TIME!!!

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? Sleep, Breath

45) Olive Garden? La Panera? I have never been to either one

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? No! If my mum was like my teachers I would cry!!

47) Ever been in a castle? Nope.

48) Nicknames? Clutz, Speedy, Mercy, Ms Exclamation Mark, Laughing Leopard and Sleepy head

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? My granny

50) Ever been to Kentucky? Does KFC count?

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? What?

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? Yeah...myself and things about me so I can answer this test

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? Yeah, a lot

55) Do you own a diamond ring? I dont even LIKE rings

56) Are you happy with your life right now? Sure

57) Do you dye your hair? Yep. It has some blue streaks

58) Does anyone like you? How am I supposed to know?

59) What year were you born? Not telling!!

60) What were you doing in May of 1994? Umm?

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? ...

62) McDonalds or Wendys? McDonalds

63) Do you like yourself? Pfft, yeah

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? Daddy because we are both sportsmen and he is CALMER than my mum.

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Personality comes first for me (like always)

66) Are you afraid of the dark? Uh not really

67) Have you ever eaten paste? No, but I use it all the time

68) Do you own a webcam? Yesh

69) Have you ever stripped? NO

70) Ever broke a bone? No

72) Do you chat on AIM often? NEVER

73) Pringles or Lays? Pringles

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? Alot of times...but they just chose wrong!!!!

75) Rugrats or Doug? I don't know?

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? Full House

77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? We dont have one

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? No

79) Do you have a birth mark? Not that i know of

80) Do you own a car? No

81) Can you cook? If popcorn counts, then yeah (Microwave version)

82) 3 things that annoy you:

1. People who think they are popular

2. My brother

3. Advanceshipping

83) Do you text message often? Never...my friends always try to ask if I like someone so I stopped

84) Money or love? Love

85) Do you have any scars? Yesh...

86) What do you want more than anything right now? For it to not be so hot in PE

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Kinda. Except now I hate puppets and clowns

88) Relationships or one night stands? One night stands are overrated

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? Juicy Fruit. DUR...

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? Sure

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? And why would I?

92) Do you own a box of crayons? YES

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? My mother

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? My brother

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? I can't remember

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? Me and my friend because we fell on top of eachother

98) Who was the last person that you fell for? No one

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? Uh

100) Who was the last person that called you? ...

I will do this quiz (You can do it, too!) You can keep the questions but at least change the character numbers:

Name 14 Pokemon Characters(this is in no specific order):

1. Ash

2. Misty

3. Brock

4.Gary

5.May

6. Max

7. Dawn

8. Harley

9. Leaf

10. Soledad

11. Drew

12. Zoey

13. Kenny

14. Paul

1) You and 13 are bored. What do you do?

(Kenny)

Me: So Kenny, why do you call Dawn deedee

Kenny: Secret!! Well actually it was like...blah blah blah etc.

ME: Why do I ask?

2) 14 and 7 want to prank 5. What do they do?

(Paul, Dawn, May)

Paul: Hn

Dawn: So Paul...how will we prank May

Paul: Dont know...she is your friend not mine

Dawn: Thats a bit harsh!!

(May comes in)

May: You know you two absouloutly LOVE eachother...Dawn talks about Paul all the time

Dawn: CURSE YOU MAY!!!

3) 2 and 3 fall asleep on the floor. How do you and 8 wake them up?

(Misty, Brock, Harley)

Harley: So I think we should pin missle them with my Cacturne

Me: NOT NECCESSARY

Harley: Then What?

Me: Harley can you sing me a song?

Harley: OF COURSE!! I know my singing is inspiring!! *Terrible voice* LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Brock: OK I am awake

Misty: HARLEY!!! *Takes out her mallet*

Me: Harley...SHUT UP!! They are awake now

4) 9 and 10 have been alone in a room for a while. What do you, 1, 4, and 6 think?

(Leaf, Soledad, Ash, Gary, Max)

Me: I bet they are talking about Gary and Harley

Gary: Why me?

Ash: I dont think so...maybe it is a girl talk

Max: Ash got a point. Who would talk about Harley? He is sorta gay

Me: Arent you tooo young for that word???!!!

5) 13 and 14 are fighting for some reason. How do you stop it?

(Kenny, Paul)

Kenny: I am postive you have been cheating on Dawn!! You were like ignoring her today

Paul: Just because I didnt get a chance to talk to her, doesnt mean I am cheating on her

Kenny: You are lying!!

Me: Kenny, Dawn was at May's house the whole day...of course she couldnt talk to Paul

Paul: Thankyou

Kenny: Oh...wait how DO YOU KNOW??? ARE YOU STALKING DAWN??

6) Who would you make out with, marry, and murder out of 2, 3, and 10?

(Misty, Brock, Soledad)

Me: Why are there always more females...

Misty: Are you saying females are bad? You are one!! Where is my mallet??

Me: MURDER MISTY!! otherwise she will kill me

Misty: What the hell?

Me: I would marry Brock so people wont call me lazo

Brock: I like girls but those who ARE MY AGE!!

Me: And then make out with Soledad

Soledad: Awkward...

Me: DONT TELL HARLEY!!

Soledad: Are you saying that Harley likes me?

Me: No, I am saying if he findsout I would make out with the girl he likes, he would use pin missle on me!

7) Some random guy yells at 13 and as he stomps away from him/her, and he/she falls on his/her knees crying. How do you and 7 cheer him/her up?

(Kenny, Dawn)

Me: Dawn, dont stress

Kenny: Yeah deedee...you know deedee is a funny name and it was alll because of when blah blah

Dawn: KENNY!!!!!!!!!

Me: Run Kenny...

"Kenny runs and Dawn chases him"

Me: at least Kenny got her mind of it!!!!!!!!!

8) 3 asks 12 out. What is 12's reaction?

(Brock, Zoey)

Zoey: You are a flirt...go away!!

Brock: Another female FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!

9) 14 and 9 are in a cat fight along with their Pokemon. What do you and 1 do?

(Paul, Leaf, Ash)

Leaf: MY venasaur is way better than YOUR Torterra

Paul: Hn...get a life

Leaf: Strong words for someone who needs one!!!

Paul: now you are getting annoying

Ash: HEY PAUL!! Dawn reckons Venasaurs are better

Paul: Shit...(Walks away)

Leaf: I WIN!!!.

10) 5 and his/her Partner Pokemon are climbing a rocky wall. What happens? (Everyone is watching them.)

(May)

May: Are those people down there watching us...and EATING NOODLES!!!!!

Munchlax: Munch...*Jumps off*

May: NO MUNCHLAX! The noodles are MINE!!!!! *Lets go*

Harley: This will be interesting

Dawn: ARe you mad?? May and Munchlax are going to die for noodles!!

Me: Not unless Drew catches her *Winks*

Drew: *Catches May* God you are heavy!! *Falls*

May: Give me my noodles!! *Returns Munchlaz*

Soledad: Poor Drew

11) 14 finds out that 4 and 7 are now a couple. What is his/her reaction?

(Paul, Gary, Dawn)

Paul: WTF!! Gary u son of a -

Dawn: IT IS a joke!!!!

Paul: Thank god...

Gary: Wait..so then what is it?? I am positive that we are going out

Paul: Grrr *Storms away*

Dawn: Gary, YOU IDIOT!!!!

12) 1, 3, 6, and 12 are taking a walk when they hear a loud clap of thunder. What are their reactions?

(Ash, Brock, Max, Zoey)

Ash: What was that?

Max: Probably your pikachu

Ash: But pikachu is with Nurse Joy!!

Max and Ash: WE ARE ALL GONNA DIE!!! *Runs away*

Brock: Wait...nurse joy is with pikachu so she must BE IN DANGER!!!! Nurse Joy I WILL SAVE YOU!!! *Follows Ash and Max*

Zoey: Idiots

13) 8 and 11 enter a singing contest. How do they win?

(Harley, Drew)

Harley: I will charm the judges with my BEAUTIFUL VOICE!!

Drew: NOT NECCESSARY!! Wait the judges are female right??

(Judges fall in love with Drew and they win the comp)

14) 5 swears in front of you and 9. What are your reactions?

(May, Leaf)

Leaf: MAY!! Close call...what if Max heard??

May: Nothing much...except he will tell dad and I WILL BE GROUNDED FROM NOODLES! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *Starts crying*

Me: There, there May... dont cry!! Drew will always bring u noodles

May: WAIT!! Why did you bring that up you bitc-

Leaf: MAY!! YOu did it AGAIN!! Do you want to lose your noodles??

MAy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Quiz done.

Annoying Things You Have Done In An Elevator:

Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off

Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you admiral (I did a dare when I was small)

MEOW occasionally (When I was small, I was addicted to cats)

Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You are one of them" and back away slowly. (It is fun seeing their reactions after telling them its a joke)

Say "Ding" at each floor.

Make explosion noises when someone presses a button

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and then announce to the person "This is my personal area" (I have claustrophobia)

When there is only 1 other person in the elavator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasnt you.

Drop a pen and wait for someone to reach for help to pick it up and then scream "THATS MINE!!" (Try it sometime, the reactions are hilarious)

Call out "GROUP HUG" then enforce it. (There is nooooooo way I would squish myself)

Results: 7/10 How annoying am I

Eevee Power! Help Eevee take over the world by pasting this on your profile. Credit goes to EeveeInHeat.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .HR
... ... .HHH ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...H;H
... ... .HR;RHR.. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..RH;.;.R
... ... .HRH;.;.;RHR... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..RH;.;.RH
... ... ...HRHHR;;..;RH ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...H;;.RH;.R
... ... ...H; RHHHHR;;.RH ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...R;.;.RH;.H
... ... ... .HRHHHHHR;.;.R. ... ... ... ... ... ... ...H;.RHR;.R
... ... ... ...HRHHHHHHR;.H... ... ... ... ... ... R.;.;.HH;.H
... ... ... ... .HRHHHHHHR;.R. ... HH..RH ... H;.RHR;.R
... ... ... ... ...HRHHHHHHR;.R.HR;.;R;.;.RH;.;.HR.;.H
... ... ... .R ... .HR; RHHHHHR;.R;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;R;R;.;R
... ... .R .H ... ...HHR; R; H;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;H
... ...R . .H ... ... .HHR; R;.;.;.;.;.;.R;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.HR
... .H . . .H ... ... ... ;.HHHR.;.;.;.RH;R.;.;.;.;.;.H.;R
...H . . . .R ... ... ... ... .HR.;.;.R;, R.;.;.;.;.;..R RH
..R. . . . . H... ... ... ... .HR.;.;.HH, H.;.;.;.;.;.H, RH
.H . . . . . .R.. ... ... ... .HR; .;.HHHH.;.;.;.;.;.HHRH
H. . . . . . . . H... ... ... .HR; .;.RHHR.;.;.;.;.;.RHR.;R
H. . . . . . . .;.RH... ... ...R.;.R.;.;.R.;.;.;.RH,;.;.;.;.;.H
H. . . . . . .;.;.;.;.H. ... ... .R;.R;.;.;.;.R.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.R
H. . . . . . .;.;.;.;.;.H... ... .HR;.R; ;.;.;.RHHR.;.;.;.R
H;.;. . . .;.;.;.;.;.;.;.H ...H ;.;RHR;.R ;.;.;.;.;.;.RHHR
H ;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.RHR ;.;. HRHR.;.R.;R.;.RH . . . . R
H ;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.H ;.;.;. . . .RHHHHHHHR ;. . . . . .R
HR.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.H ;.;. . . . . . ;.;.;.;.;.;. . . H;. . . . H
..R.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.RH ;.;. . . . . ;.;.;.;.;.;. . . . .R;. . . .H
..HR.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.HR ;.;. . . . . ;.;.;. . . . . . . . .H;.;.;.R
..RH.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.;.RHHR ;.;. . R ;.;. . . . . . . . ;. . .R;.R
... RHR ;.;.;.;.;.;.HHRHR ;. . .H ;.;. . . . . . . . .; . HRH
... RHRHRH ;.;.;.HR.;.RH;.;.RHR ;.;. . . . . . . RH;.;R
... ...RHRHRHRHHR.;.R; RHHRHR ;.;.;.;. .R .HR;.;.;H
... ... ... RHRHRHHR.;.RHR.R.R...RH;.;.;.;.;.HR;.;.;.;H
... ... ... ... ...RHHR.;.R.;HHHR.R.R.HRHHHRHH;.;R;.R
... ... ... ... ... ...HR.;.RH ... HHR.;.R; . H ... ... HH;.RH
... ... ... ... ... ...HR.;.RH ... HHR.;.R . .H... ... ..RHR
... ... ... ... ... ...RHR.RH ... RHHR.;.R . HR
... ... ... ... ... ... ..RHHR ... ...RHR.;.R . .H
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .R.RHHHR

Bullying

I'm not sure why I've decided to put this on here, but I feel like I need to say something.

I really do hate bullying. I mean, why would you do it? All you bullies are hurting kids for no reason at all. This is how some kids commit suicide. If you don't care, that just shows you have no heart. If you have problems, and that's why you're bulling someone, those are your problems and you need to solve them. You don't need to bring other kids into it. How would hurting them help you at all? Hurting people, whether it is physically or verbally, doesn't help anybody. You are just lowering their self esteem and making them feel really bad. You, bullies, are the people that disgust me.

If you are a kid and you are being bullied, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. Tell someone. I know it's so cliche, but it's true. Don't just sit there and let yourself be bullied. Just remember, violence is never the answer. No matter how tempted you are to punch 'em in the face. It just brings you both at fault, and that doesn't need to happen. Also, do NOT commit suicide either. Suicide is not the answer either, no matter how bad you think your life is, it will get better. There will alwaysbe something to live for, it just doesn't always come at the beginning. There are so many beautiful things in life, and you should experience them. Have you heard of Y.O.L.O? Of course you have. But it's true, you only live once. You live for so many years, why throw it all away? Like in Katy Perry's song 'Firework', 'after a hurricane, comes a rainbow'. It's true. Stay strong.

Have any of you seen the Amanda Todd video about bullying? Or have heard about it? Well, she committed suicide because she was bullied too much. She killed herself. I cry every time I see that video. And you have no idea how many times I've seen it. You know what? I hope all of you people that said mean things about her feel horrible. Despicable.There are some people who are saying she deserved it, but no! She didn't! She made two little mistakes, and so many people bullied her. I mean, those people literally caused her to commit suicide. Those people killed her. Those people are horrible, nasty, mean people. I hope you feel that way too. R.I.P. Amanda Todd.

Personally, I do not think bullying will ever go away. I'm being realistic here, do you really ever think it will? Unless you collect every single bully and blow them up. But you can't do that, because bullies are humans too. That would be amazing if it did go away though, but I would be very suspicious. But I do hate bullying, and I'm sure millions of other people do too.

And by the way, guys, gay is not an insult.

Signed, maycontestdrew.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books.I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon, so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.
So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'

He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'

There was a big smile on his face.It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
On graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

You now have two choices, you can 1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1.

'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'
There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.

OATH TO THE REVIEW REVOLUTION

I, maycontestdrew, do hereby promise to review any fanfiction story that I enjoy despite its age, length or anything else.

I've joined the review revolution; copy and paste this onto your profile and be part of the revolution, too

If you hate stereotypes, copy and paste this into your profile. Bold the ones that are for you.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.(*sulks in corner* I'm not EVIL!)
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.(I hate whoever made this up)
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST! (I have never heard of this one...)
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life. (!)
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe. (Uhhh...)
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA. (Dafuq?)
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black. (The guy nextdoor...is he my friend?)
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. (Strongest girl in SCHOOL!)
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep. (I LOVE sheep)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser. (I'm just somewhere in the middle)
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT so I MUST be having cyber sex. (WHAT!)
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE. (Spongebob rules)
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I'm GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I like marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

is in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that post this in you profile!

...D...Put this

...R...on your profile if

...E...you love Drew

...W... and stop him from being hated!

...M...put this on

...A...your channel

...Y...if u love May

...C...Put
...O...This
...N...On
...T...Your
...E...Profile
...S...To
...T...Help
...S...Contestshipping
...H...Get
...I...More
...P...Supporters
...P...So
...I...It
...N...Will
...G...Come True in the anime!

...P...Put this ...

O...On your ...

K...Profile ...

E...To stop Pokemon ...

M...From ...

O...Being ..

.N...Hated ...!!...It shows you care..

..M..Put this ..

I..On your ..

S..Profile ..

T..To stop Misty ..

Y..From being Hated ..

!!..It shows u care!!

...P...Put ...

O...This ...

K...On ...

E...Your ...

S...Profile ...

H...To help ...

I...get ...

P...more ...

P...supporters ...

I...to ...

N...support ...

G...Pokeshipping

...I... Put

...K... This

...A... On

...R... Your

...I... Channel

...S... Profile

...H... If

...I... You

...P... Truly

...P... Madly

...I... Deeply

...N... Love

...G... Ikarishipping

EEVEE

You are cute (everyone says I am)

You love to play

You don’t like getting into fights

You hate the darkness or you are afraid of it

You have a best friend forever

You love your best friend very much

You don’t say bad words

Most people love you

You are youngest of all your siblings(I'm actually the oldest)

You like to wish upon a star

You have lots of stuffed animals(a whole collection)

TOTAL: 5

VAPOREON

You can swim

You go to swimming pool at least one time a week

You hate racism

Someone has said that you are hot (._. More times than I'm okay with)

You are very social

You don’t spend more than 2 hours on the computer or TV

You enjoy sleeping

You know most of your neighbors’ names

You can speak in another language than English (Chinese, Spanish)

You visit social places (such as concerts,theaters,etc.) more than 1 time a week

People call you a “smiley face”

You LOVE spending time in the water

TOTAL: 6

JOLTEON

You are a street kid(I spend time running around with my friends)

You have been in an accident

You usually get into street fights

Your favorite kind of music is rap

You have been shocked by electricity (I changed a light-bulb when it was still on)

You seriously need to get a life (I have a very good life, thank you very much)

People say you’re too egotistic

You have tried gangsta style (Wut)

You try to be really cool (I just be my crazy self)

You really want someone

Last thing you did before you sit on computer was meeting with someone

You hate something right now (My room. It's too hot in here!)

TOTAL: 4

FLAREON

You are kind of a hothead

People try to calm you down

When you want something, you won’t stop until you get it. (Only with food...)

You are seriously waiting for something right now )

You annoy people (many)

You like cartoon villains more than heroes

You would like to have red eyes.

You were born in summer or spring (Summer baby!)

You can think of crazy things (everything i think of is crazy.)

You have burned something (Anything and everything)

Things around you are stupid

You didn’t/don’t like your life at a moment

TOTAL: 4

ESPEON

You believe in magic

Your first boyfriend/girlfriend dumped you

You really love someone

You believe in love at first sight

You haven’t tried to smoke, drugs or drink alcohol

You are a goody-goody……

……or average

You get injured easily

People don’t really get you (everyone that has a conversation with me ends up getting confused)

You MUST do something right now

You are like a psychic

You have great sight )

TOTAL: 5

UMBREON

You love the dark.

you like to wear/see/use the color black.

glow in the dark stickers are cool. (especially when they're stars!)

you are sometimes thought of as evil by your appearance. )

you look out for yourself at times.

you have or would like to have a Umbreon in your Pokemon games.

you are terrifyingly silent.

you have eyes that make people timid or afraid.

you have helped or been helped by someone but never said ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘thank you’. (On accident...)

you are somewhat of a loner.

you love to go out in the night.

You have excellent vision in dark places.

TOTAL: 8

LEAFEON

Fall or spring is one of your favorite seasons.

you adore the color green. (Duh, it rocks)

you love flowers but choose not to pick them. (most of the time I don't pick them)

clean, green and pristine is your way of life.

animals adore you and you adore them. ()

you are a very peaceful person.

you care deeply for anyone even if you do not know them at all.

you enjoy longs walk in nature or the woods.

you are a vegetarian.

your eyes are or you wish for them to be green.

you really can’t stand cold days.

people really love to be around you.

TOTAL: 4

GLACEON

Winter days are your favourite days.

Cold weathers don’t phase you with or without a jacket.

You have (or wish to have) amazingly snow white or light blue eyes.(I have deep blue, ocean blue!! They look creepy though...!)

You live in a place where it’s cold all year round. (not in California)

Hot days are your most hated time of any week.

You don’t mind cold foods. (ICE CREAM!)

You have once used a cold joke (cold-hearted etc.) during cold times.

You adore very much the colour white.

You take long walks in the snow. ()

You have a cold personality.

People can’t really call onto you for sympathy.

You have heard the song Cold by Crossfade.

TOTAL: 9

YAY!! I am Glaceon

A B C D E F G Gummy Bears are chasing me

One is red and one is blue

One is trying to steal my shoe

Now I'm running for my life

'Cause the red one has a knife

Copy paste this if you love GUMMY BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too bad there are no such thing as blue gummy bears...

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA! *cough cough*

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason

How to Tell you watch, play, and/or read to much Pokemon by Waveripple of Team Sunrise:

1. You think Pokemon is the most awesome game, manga, and anime ever.

2. You rant about Pokemon to your friends.

3. You rant about Pokemon to your friends, and you KNOW they’re not listening to you.

4. You think Pokemon should have a life-action movie made.

5. You never thought of #4 but think it would be awesome anyway.

6. When you lose in some horrible, embarrassing manner, you run away yelling ‘We’re Blasting off again!’

7. You’re going to do #6 next time you are defeated in a horrible, embarrassing manner.

8. Your parents are worried about your Pokemon obsession.

9. Your parents are NOT worried about your Pokemon obsession.

10. You have dreams about your favorite shippings.

11. You have nightmares about the shippings you loath.

12. You wish you had a Pokemon,

13. You wish you WERE a Pokemon.

14.You have spent more than 40 hours on a Pokemon game training your Pokemon and are only half way through.

15. You know for a FACT that Pikachu is Super Badass. (Already knew it from the start)

16. You want to dress up as a Pokemon or a Pokemon trainer.

17. You HAVE dressed up as a Pokemon or a Pokemon trainer before.

18. You can say every Pokemon’s name when given a picture of them up to Gen. IV

19. You can say every Pokemon’s name when NOT given a picture up to Gen IV. (I swear, that's impossible)

20. You have posters of Pokemon on your walls (EEVEES!!)

21. You have a kick-ass Pokemon party in your Pokemon game. *coughcoughEeveescoughcough*

22. You have a kick-ass Pokemon party in your mind.

23. You think about Pokemon in odd places at odd times. (I.E.: In a classroom during a test, in the middle of a conversation, etc.)

24. You like having a Poké -ession.

25. You doodle Pokemon on important papers (I.E.: Paperwork, homework, tests, etc.)

26. You have started to pass the Poké -ession to a friend.

27. You HAVE passed the Poké -ession to a friend. (Plus my love of Eevees)

28. You want to have a huge Pokemon themed party.

29: You have had a huge Pokemon themed party. (Yeah, I wish)

30. You post this on your profile and add your name to this list: Waveripple of Team Sunrise, DAMLWinner, LoveLoverGrl, ManaphyLove, Puppypaws4, BlueblazeHeart, Misty Ketchum97, eeveeluvr, maycontestdrew

My Life If Average

"Today, I was sitting in my biology class when a kid pointed out that another boy in our class had gone to the bathroom six times in the past two classes. As the first boy was saying, "What could he be doing?," the missing student walked back in holding four freshly baked waffles. I am still confused. MLIA "

"Today at my school, we had a lock down drill to prepare for any intruders. We had to lock the door and sit quietly in the corner for ten minutes. About half way through, the door bursts open and my principal dressed in a Darth Vader suit shouts, "Fools, I have a spare key!" and runs out. It was the single most frightening yet thrilling experience of my life. MLIA "

"Today, I realized that the two main characters in the Veggie Tales, the tomato and the cucumber, are actually fruits. Now I don't know what to believe. MLIA "

"Today, while my bio teacher was lecturing, his phone went off. He looked at it, then out the window, gasped, said, "Hold that thought," and ran out of the room. He came back two minutes later holding an ice cream sandwich, and said, "Sorry, the ice cream truck was here." This year may be better than I thought it would. MLIA. "

Today, I was bored so I called a random number. A guy answered and was silent, then he said "You have reached the Oreo Company. To receive free Oreos, press one. I'm sorry that offer has ended." I then roared into the phone. He then answered with "NO I WILL NOT BATHE YOUR WHALE!" Then hung up. I want to find this guy, and marry him. MLIA

Today, a boy at school was wearing a red sweatshirt with a giant smiley face on the front. Someone went up to him and started to make fun of his sweatshirt, and without a word he pulled it off, turned it inside out, and put it back on. There was a frowny face on the other side. MLIA

As one of my friends was looking through my purse while on the school bus, she found a bunch of weird stuff like a bib from burger king, a pack of ramen, etc. Everyone then started to ridicule me and my strange purse. The girl sitting next to me quietly tapped me on the shoulder, then pulled something out of her bag. It was a potato. MLIA.

Today, we were taking a math test when someone's cell phone rang. It was dead silent as we heard, "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..." Everyone looked around to see whose phone it was. It was my teacher's. My teacher is a man. MLIA

Today, I decided to answer the phone with a Russian accent. My dad, who was on the other line, paused and started to get confused. Thinking that he had the wrong number, and not wanting to admit it, he tried to sell me car insurance. Instead of hanging up like most people would when a telemarketer called, I kept him talking. He BS'd for a full 7 minutes before putting me "on hold". When he called the second time, I answered with a British accent, just to see if it would happen again. It did. He offered me a snuggie. MLIA.

Today, someone at my college wrote next to a man-hole, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Open House, 7 to 9 PM". I plan on attending. MLIA

Today, after seeing an MLIA about making sharks on facebook chat, I started repeatedly sending sharks to my boyfriend. He asked what I was doing. I replied "SHARK ATTACK!" He started sending me a bunch of blank messages. I asked what we was doing. His reply? "NINJA ATTACK!" I think this one's a keeper. MLIA

My Life If Average

Today, for homecoming week, it was camo day. Everyone else in the school dressed up in camouflage, but I dressed up as a locker. I won today's award for best dressed. MLIA.

Today, I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth when my brother tumbled out of the cupboard, shouted "I've found Narnia!" and threw a bunch of pine-cones and fake snow in my face. I'm not sure if I'm more impressed that he used props or that he stayed holed up in that cupboard, waiting for someone, for at least 45 minutes. MLIA

Today I was sitting in computer class when a boy sat down beside me wearing glasses. This was a change for him, and thus I commented, "I didn't know you wore glasses". He then pulled his shirt open to reveal a fake superman body and whispered "Shhh". MLIA

Today I asked my three year old cousin what she is gonna be when she grows up, with out missing a beat she shouts "OLDER!" I wish I was that smart when I was her age. MLIA

Today, I searched "Evil Disney Wallpaper" on Google images. The second result was the cast of High School Musical. It's good to know that Google recognizes this. MLIA

Today, I was wearing my 'this is how I roll' t-shirt. I guy walking past me read it. He said "Oh yeah? This is how I roll." He then tucked and rolled and continued walking. I love college. MLIA

Today, I saw a sign at a picture framing store that said, "shoot the family, hang the kids, frame the wife." Photo framers have a dark sense of humor. MLIA.

Today I was sitting on the quad reading. Suddenly, a guy walks past me, without looking at me, and says "duh nuh", like from the Jaws theme. This happened a few more times and then stopped for a little while, so I went back to my reading. Out of nowhere, a guy in a shark suit tackled me to the ground and then ran off. By the time I collected myself and sat up, nobody involved in the affair was in sight. I picked the right college. MLIA.

Today, I was walking down the hallway at school when the band started playing the Darth Vader theme song. I was totally alone in the hallway. I've never felt so evil. MLIA

Today, I came home to my mom scowling, my dad smirking, and my little sister grinning. Apparently, my sister got into a fight with a fellow 5th grader, saying that the Beatles pwned the Jonas Brothers. My sister and the girl argued until my sister tackled her while yelling, "I am the walrus! Goo goo g'joob!" I have never before felt like such a positive influence to my siblings. MLIA

Today, they made an announcement over the intercom right before lunch. The exact words: "If you accidentally stole a doorknob, please return it to the office. Thank you." I'm still trying to figure out how you accidentally steal a doorknob. MLIA

Today my friend had missed the bus to school, first I laughed at him but when he got dropped off by the mail truck, I was so jealous. MLIA

Today, I went to take a small, white, round vitamin in class after lunch. I noticed the freshman next to me was cautiously staring. I proceeded to twitch violently the rest of class. She looked absolutely horrified of high school when the bell rang. MLIA

Today, I opened up my dorm room door after hearing a knock. I was then "shot" at by two guys using the gun app on their iPhones. They proceeded to run down the hall shouting "Go go go!" and doing somersaults and zigzags. MLIA

Today, I was sitting in my Economy class. I was bored out of my mind until I looked over and saw a guy in my class had randomly pulled a giraffe finger puppet out of his bag. He saw me looking and proceeded to perform an entire show for me. Getting kicked out of class for laughing so hard was entirely worth it. MLIA.

My Life If Average

Today, after two weeks of college, I decided to stop using my fake British accent, all of my peers are confused as to what happened. MLIA

Today, I saw a kid that looked like Jacob Black from Twilight. I told him this and he said, "Yeah. I've heard that before. But I bet Jacob can't do this." and he began to break dance. Then, he walked away. He's probably my new favorite stranger. MLIA

Today, I checked the time on my iTouch and it was 11:11. I wished that it would always be 11:11 so that I could make as many wishes as I wanted. Then my iPod froze. My wish came true. Thank you, 11:11. MLIA.

Today, I yelled at my computer for being extremely slow. It froze and I smacked the screen. My teacher then walks up and caresses it and says, 'It's ok little guy. She didn't mean it.' The computer then worked better than it ever has. I am now convinced my teacher is the computer whisperer. MLIA

This past weekend I was at a church service that was themed for younger children. When the preacher asked some of the younger kids what they thought God looked like, a little girl raised her hand and confidently said "Morgan Freeman." I wanted to kidnap her and raise her as my sister. MLIA

Today, I was supposed to teach 6th graders about what it really means to be cool. They were supposed to write words that they thought signified "coolness" on the board. One girl put beef jerky and Superman. I don't think she needed me to teach her anything. MLIA

The other day, a huge cluster of people were crowded around a table in our lunch room. I ran over to see what I presumed to be a fight. It turned out to be the Japanese foreign exchange student peeling a banana with his feet. It was SO much better than a fight. MLIA.

Today in speech class we had to give a speech about our role model. The teacher proceded to shoot us with a Nerf gun everytime we said um, ah, ect. Best teacher ever. MLIA

Today, I decided that I'm going to dress up as Kanye West for Halloween and my friend is going to dress as Taylor Swift. When my friend says Trick-or-Treat, I'm going to interrupt her and take her Candy saying how much Beyonce deserves this candy. MLIA

Today I was bored so I called a random number and pretended to be from Pizza Hut. A guy picked up and when I asked him what he wanted, he proceeded to mention about 20 different items from the menu with loads of adjustments. At the end I told him I was kidding. He just said "I know. I'm just as bored as you." MLIA

Today, due to recent incidents, my school added a new "no lightsaber duels on school grounds" rule to the student handbook. While in english class a neighboring teacher randomly burst into my class and began dueling with my teacher using lightsabers. When they got yelled at by the principal they claimed there was nothing against it in the teacher handbook. Teachers-1 Principals-0. MLIA

Today I married a supermodel. Our house is huge and has a pool surrounding it. All the other Sims are jealous. MLIA.

"Today, I was trying to decide if I thought chorus was going to be any fun this year. When I walked into class, my teacher was wearing a unicorn costume. Decision made. MLIA. "

"Today, there was a new guy in my class called A.J. Ninami. He seemed like just another student. Then I read his name backwards. Guess who I'm asking out to Homecoming? MLIA "

"My grandma has been in the hospital all this week. Today when I got home from school I got a call that said they'd lost her. She called me five minutes later from her house telling me about the awesome escape. Coolest. Grandma. Ever. MLIA "

"Today in Latin class I found out that the Latin word for "spy" is "exploradora". I am now very suspicious of Dora the Explorer. MLIA "

"Today, some kids were playing on a sand volleyball court. They didn't have a ball, so they played with an imaginary one. I was turning to talk to my friend when suddenly, he jumped up and ran over to the court. He proceeded to steal their imaginary ball and punt it as hard as he could. The kids got mad and decided to go look for a new ball. Now I remember why he is my best friend. MLIA

Today we were reading Romeo and Juliet in English, and my teacher was going over a passage where Romeo compliments Juliet in a really romantic way. An annoying kid was talking really loudly and disrupting the class, so the teacher turned to him and said, "This is why Romeo gets some, and you don't." MLIA

Today, I went to the mall with my friend. Just to see what would happen, we held hands and looked at each other as if we were in love (we are both girls). As we are walking, we were getting dirty looks from old couples, confused looks from kids, and disapproving looks from middle aged people. We then walked past these two older men in business suits, holding hands. We didn't think much of it, but then one of the men walks up to us with a huge smile on his face and says "We aren't gay either" and walks away. I know the type of man I want to marry one day. MLIA

Today, my school had a shooting threat. When everyones parents came to get them, they all started telling their kids how much they loved them. My dad- "Never piss off the weird kids. They can't take a joke." Thanks for the valuable life lesson Dad. MLIA

Today, I felt like wearing an eye patch around town for no reason. A kid came up to me and asked me why I was wearing an eye patch. I told him my mom told me not to run with scissors. The look on his face was priceless. MLIA

Today, I realized that I forgot to lock my car in the morning. After school I went out to the parking lot to find that every car had a lollipop taped to the door. My car was filled with them. I win. MLIA

Today, we were watching a weird movie about minotaurs in Latin class. At the end, our teacher merely states, "And THAT'S why you don't have sex with animals." MLIA

Today, while driving my 4 year old nephew and his neighbor to preschool, his neighbor (who recently started sunday school at her church) informed him that "God made everything." My nephew thought about this for a moment then replied, "I don't think so, a lot of stuff is made in China." Best. Nephew. Ever. MLIA

Today in my biology class, our teacher asked us how many of us knew how we were made. This one kid raised his hand and simply said "broken condom." MLIA

Today, I got pulled over on my way home by a cop. He asked me if I knew why he pulled me over, and I responded, "Because you want to invite me to the Police Officer's Ball?" He then replied, "No ma'am, police officers don't have balls". MLIA

Today, I was checking the artwork that my fourth-graders were doing in class (I work in a primary school). I came to one girl, who immediately covered up her work. I asked her what she was drawing, and she said God. I then told her that nobody knew what God looked like. Her response? "They will in a minute." MLIA

Today, the National Mustard Museum in my town was vandalized. With ketchup. MLIA.

Today, I ran out of both my shampoo and conditioner at the same time. I've been waiting years for that to happen. MLIA.

Today, I found out that the name of the cruise ship I am going on in a few weeks is "The Pearl". It's a caribbean cruise. I feel like a pirate. MLIA.

Today, I realized that lol'd, the past tense of lol, is inaccurate. That would mean laugh out louded. L'dol, however awkward, would be correct. MLIA

Earlier today, my "7" key wasn't working while I was IMing someone. To overcome this, I started typing out "the number between 6 and 8", but then I realized I could just type out "seven". MLIA.

Today, while finishing up some yogurt, I began scraping the bottom of the container even though there was nothing left. I still continued scraping for 10 minutes in hopes of getting a little drop. MLIA.

Today, while bowling, I got a gutter ball. While the bumpers were up. That takes talent. MLIA.

Today, I was talking to someone through Facebook. I began to type something, when I noticed that they were typing, and I deleted what I had written. Then I noticed that they had stopped typing, too. I felt awkward. MLIA.

Today, I tried to blow a leaf off of my windshield...from the inside of my car. MLIA

Today, I found out that there is actually a strategy to Minesweeper that does not consist on clicking on random squares and crossing your fingers. MLIA.

Today, my little sister pointed out to me that the tooth fairy teaches little kids to sell their body parts for money. MLIA.

Today, my sister asked when the 10 o'clock news was on. MLIA

Today, we got a huge new TV. My brother and I were more excited about the box than the TV. MLIA

Today, I discovered that my big flannel I bought at a thrift store has a label that says, "MADE ON EARTH BY HUMANS." Thank you for the clarification, humans who made this. MLIA

Today, my sister told me that "Dating a Stephen/Steven is the cool thing to do." Her boyfriends name isn't Steven... Neither is mine... MLIA.

Today I had a staring contest with my cat. He blinked, I laughed, he hit me with his paw. MLIA

Today, during a test I did not know the answer to a question. Instead of guessing I drew an epic battle between pirates and ninjas. Guess who got extra credit? No, not me. I just got a question mark. MLIA.

Today I taped eyes on the top of my trash can. Now my 2 year old daughter enjoys feeding trash to it, complete with "Nom, nom, nom" sounds. MLIA.

Today I noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy, and all you see is his head and arms sticking out of the water. I bet he's not laughing out loud anymore. MLIA

Today, I was in an awkward situation so I pulled out a twix bar and proceeded to loudly chew it. It just made the situation more awkward. MLIA

Today, I mentioned to my co-worker that none of the English teachers at my school are having kids, but that three of the math teachers are pregnant. She responded, "I hear they're better at multiplying." MLIA.

Today, in my math class, my teacher started class say "Today we are going to learn about Sexagons." I now know why she has two children. MLIA

Today, my keyboarding teacher gave us a stern lecture on making mistakes and typos and how we need to slow down. After school, I went online to check my grades and found out that I have 149 in her class. Because of a typo. MLIA.

"Today it was my birthday so my family bought me a rainbow llama pinata. It was love at first sight. I couldn't smash it, but I wanted the candy, so I performed a c-section on it. He now lives on my windowsill. MLIA. "

Copy and paste if you think it's stupid that Team Rocket is smart in the Black and White series!!

"Got milk?” Yes, of course I've got milk! Who doesn't? People who need to go to the grocery store, that's who! In fact, those people are probably already at the grocery store, buying milk! Practically everyone has a carton of milk somewhere in their fridge! Seriously, who wouldn't have milk? Maybe people who are lactose-intolerent or vegan, but even they have at least some sort of soy or rice milk! I mean, what kind of question is 'Got milk?' anyway? Why do you care so much about my possession of dairy products? Are you some kind of creepy milk-obsessed stalker? If you are sick of all these milk ads, feel free to copy this into your profile and add your name to the list. Diehardstormhawksfan, BlueDragon123, BlackSunset8753 (insane but true), PokeGirlMisty, Waveripple of Team Sunrise, eeveeluvr (lol, that's hilarious!),maycontestdrew

Clean laundry helps the confidence level, which helps the self-image, which helps you... umm... win games, which makes you rich, which leads to greed, which leads to more money! Which causes immense spending, which then triggers high anxiety, which causes a heart attack at the age of 31 and puts you in a coma for 10 years while you lose all your money and start at the beginning again!

('.') (- '.' -) Help Plusel and Minum take over fanfcition! Copy and paste this on your profile and don't forget to add your name to there army list! There Army: ROSELIACOOL, KengoGirl,NightsTheVocaloid,cCsluver4evr, Waveripple of Team Sunrise, eeveeluvr, maycontestdrew

If you like or love the battle frontier theme song copy and paste this in your profile

If you love the original Pokemon series then copy and paste this in your profile

If Pokemon was the first Anime you ever saw, then copy and paste.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you LOVE Pokeshipping (AshXMisty),copy and paste this into your profile.(YEAH I DO!!!)

If you are OBSESSED with Pokemon, copy this onto your profile as a fellow Poke-Freak!

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you'd be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

If you love contestshipping copy this into your profile! (Oh Yeah!!).

If you HATE cookieshipping (MayxHarley) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Pokemon is cool, copy this onto your profile!

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed beyond obsession with ANY anime or manga, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Fanfiction.net, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

99% of teenagers would cry if they saw Justin Bieber above the sky scraper about to jump; copy and paste this to your profile if you're the 1% that would stand there with popcorn yelling, "Do a back flip!".

God created boys before girls because every true artist creates a rough draft before a masterpiece.

I'm not afraid of death. What's it gonna do? Kill me?

Copy and paste this to your profile if you haven't died yet.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

If your name was Mr. Crunch, and you went into the navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

An apple keeps the doctor away, if well aimed

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross roads without having their motives questioned

Last night I lay in bed looking at the stars and thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?!

When there's a will, I want to be in it

We're best friends. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a bridge, I miss your E-mails.

This is just something I saw on someone's profile and I thought was like the sweetest thing ever:
Cinderella walked on broken glass
Sleeping Beauty let a whole lifetime pass
Belle fell in love with a hideous beast,
Jasmine married a common thief
Ariel walked on land for love and life
Snow White barely escaped a knife
It was all about blood, sweat, and tears
Because true love means facing your biggest fears

Aussie Complaints!!

Just because we are white, doesnt mean we hate aboriginals and other coloured people!!

Most of us are NOT EVEN racist!!

My friends say that Australians are the bad guys in most Asian movies...most of us respect Asians Very Much THANKYOU VERY MUCH!!!

WE do not always speak about kangaroos in that strange 'mate' accent!! And we do not always wear cowboy hats!

Just because some of us are blonde...doesnt mean we are stupid!!!

If you are Australian and sick of being critisized...copy and paste this and add your name ONLY AUSSIES: maycontestdrew (Launa),

('.') (- '.' -) Help Plusel and Minum take over fanfcition! Copy and paste this on your profile and don't forget to add your name to there army list! There Army: ROSELIACOOL, KengoGirl,NightsTheVocaloid,cCsluver4evr, Waveripple of Team Sunrise, Espeon210, PrincessGlacia, LyraXEthan, eeveeluvr

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Lamanth, AnimeGirl329, Sharpiequeen666, Contestshipper, uchihakiriko,beautifly-soul,DawnzNo1, 0x Emo Contestshipper x0, Gyaradosmaster, LyraXEthan, eeveeluvr, maycontestdrew

A true Pokemon fan is someone who will defend it when someone makes fun of it. It is someone who will love over anything else no matter what age and is not afraid to shout it out to the world. A true Pokemon fan will encourage others to learn the important meanings that Pokemon holds. And you'll love Pokemon forever and ever. If you are a true Pokemon fan, then copy this onto your profile! I admit I have defend Pokemon from my friends before! GO POKEMON!

I am me and only me because that is who I am. Agree? Add the name to the list. World's Love Song, GoseiGokaiPink, PrincessOfDestiny14, eeveluvr, maycontestdrew

am not normal, I am not the only one of my kind, I am special and I have reasons for my secrets. The only thing I keep close to me is a pen, a pad of paper, my secrets and my knife. Because you'll never know what will try to kill you when you're part of a nation, when you are a Fan Fictioner. - Lynx of the Sand Post this if you are a Fan Fictioner and you're proud of it.

- Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.

Being weird is like being normal, only better!!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me!!

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.'

I am not crazy! U know what! The voices don't like u anymore!'

Death is life’s way of saying you’ve been fired.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask directions.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

The trouble with life is there's no background music

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough.

They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

' The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.'

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

God made man, knew he could do better, and made woman.

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny

They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.

To me, “FEARLESS” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death...I think love is FEARLESS- Taylor Swift

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.- James Dean

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain.- Anonymous

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.- Unknown

Dance as though no one is watching. Love as though you have never loved before. Sing as though no one can here you. Live as though heaven is on earth.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.- Eleanor Roosevelt

"You love me. Real or not real?" "Real."- Mockingjay; Peeta Mellark & Katniss Everdeen

When life gives you lemons . . . make grape juice, and watch the world wonder how you did it. (OR) squirt 'em in peoples' eyes!

Be insane- well behaved people never made history.

To the world you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is man's way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.

And after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.

S.c.h.o.o.l: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be considered a planet, copy this into your profile.

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a "slut", no one knows she was raped at age 14. People call another guy "fat", no one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight. People call an old man "ugly", no one knows he experienced a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war. Re-post this if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 88% of you won't... but you should

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But you’re the host of an internationally renowned comedy program where I worked for for six years before getting my own hosting gig two blocks over and I still think about you all the time especially since my character is totally gay for you and you’re here all the time because you’re the executive producer and that makes it difficult for me to get over you in case you haven’t noticed So call me maybe? - Stephen Colbert (to Jon Stewart)

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), ChiyoChiyamamoto (USA), Mischa Rowe (Australia), Ita-hime (Canada), Little-bad-Angel(Austria), Bloody.-.Fang5507(USA), Greywing44 (USA) Chidori Minami(USA), eeveeluvr(USA), maycontestdrew (Australia),

If you absolutly LOVE contestshipping, pokeshipping, or ikarishipping, copy and paste this to your profile. (TOTALLY!!)

If you think that Pokemon is cool, copy this into your profile

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile

Do you ever get so mad you want to kill yourself? if yes copy and paste this to your profile. (I threw away 20 bucks...)

If you have ever gotten a random song stuck in your head for no reason at all when you weren't even thinking of anything LIKE the song, copy and paste this into your profile. (That's how I choose my song for the week)

If you think that Pokémon is cool, copy this into your profile

If you believe that its better to be unique than cool, copy this into your profile

If you believe in fairies,demons,witches and everything like that copy and paste this to your profile (There coming to get me!!!!!!!!)

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now

REMEMBER WHEN .. Getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground? The worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs? 'm 0 m' (was your hero) and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry? When your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest? When - WAR- was a card game and life was simple and care free? Remember when all you wanted to do WAS GROW UP?

A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing to, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile

If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile

.. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS.. ... .sS.. .SS . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS... S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (Sorry guys, Girls Only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS... ,
... ... ... ...sS. ... SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .SSSSSSs.. ... SSs ,
... ... ... ...S. ... .SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... SSSSS..SSSS... s
... ... ... ... SSs ... ...SSSSSSSSS ... sS
... ... ... ... .SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS. ..s SS
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... .sSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSssSSSSsSS
... ...sSs
... ..s... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..

If you're ever hyper for no reason at all, love being hyper, and are at this very moment hyper, copy and paste this onto your profile, and then go streak down the street, you sexy hyper thing you! heheh, sorry, sugar...

If your idea of a party is gorging on pizza and cracking stupid jokes with your best friends, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

"Some day Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube will combine to make YOUTWITFACE!"-- Conan O'Brian

A vase is basically a flower torture device; you rip it from its home, put it in a small container and watch it die slowly

One bright day in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. Then a deaf policeman heard the noise and drew his gun and stabbed the boys. If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too. And if you don't believe the blind, ask the deaf he heard it fine.

I do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else. I have joined the Review Revolution.

wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson

A ninja waits until the dead of night, when the enemy sleeps and drops his guard, when his weapons lie forgotten in the stillness of the night, that is the moment for a ninja to strike." Copy and Paste if your a Ninja!

Many writers don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' If you happen to understand this mundanely ridiculous fact, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever sat in a class and poked the person in front of you just for fun, copy this into your profile.

If you have trouble making decisions, either copy and paste this into your profile or look up the word "floccinaucinihilipilification" in the dictionary.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run up a Down escalator or vice versa, and SUCCEEDED in getting to the top (or bottom), copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

You know you live in 2012 when:

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn;t even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did

If you have a profile do the oppesite of copying this to your profile, make the oppesite of copying this to your profile 9 times... not.

If you didn't get the thing above me copy this to your profile and that too. upthere.

Here is a simple riddle.

What is greater than God, More evil than the Devil, The poor have it, The rich need it, If you eat it, you will die?

Only 17% of Stanford University Seniors got the right answer when asked. If you belong to the 17% who knows, copy this to your profile.

The answer is...nothing...

Randomness!

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted...

The girl u just called fat? She is over doesing on diet pills. The girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that man with the ugly scars? He fought for his country. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying. Put this as you're status if you're against bullying. I bet 95% of you wont re-post, but I'm sure the people with a heart and backbone will. (If you saw my whole rant on bullying, then you would know I didn't even hesitate to put this on my profile.)

MY DEFINITION OF HOMEWORK: H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K= HALF OF MY ENERGY WASTED ON RANDOM KNOWLEDGE. copy and paste this onto your profile if you think this is true!

Copy this into your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune. (I didn't know that until now!)

If you have friends that threaten, hit, or call you names for GOOD reasons, copy this into your profile.

If you ever laughed so hard that tears streamed down your face, you banged on the table repeatedly, and recieved weird looks from anyone in the current vicinity, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: EcoliandDahChihuahua, Michi-Baka, Neji's fangirl, Yukisgirlfriend, Jinzouningen, animatedrose, Leafeonlover, eeveeluvr(I was eating cake, and it came out of my nose),

If someone calls me weird I tell them thank you.

If someone says I'm crazy I tell them I'm insane

If I fall

I laugh

If I don't know the words to a song

I make up my own

If you were to die I'd cry

And if you ever need a friend

I'm here for you

IF YOU ARE LIKE THIS PUT IT ON YOUR PROFILE!

I believe the sun will shine, and the clouds will be high. That everything will be happy and there will be no crying, no drama, no heartbreaks, just simplicity, a happiness no one could ever buy.

That is the place I wanna go.

If you liked this put it on your profile!

If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile and add your name. AlukaKaiserin (i love my fox...), rubyqueen808 (give me a break, i've had Little Kitty since I was born!)Johan's Lover43v3r (I always hug my bunny plushy) Animehime20 (My stuffed seal I've had since I was 1) serina-phantom (My seal XD) AnimeCat92 (I LOVE my kangaroo plushie!) Leafeonlover (I have a pikachu plushie which I love YaY and a teddy I've had forever), eeveeluvr( my bunny plushie), maycontestdrew (Well, theres my mini-jaguar and giant puppu, and my joey, and my swinging monkey...)

If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile.

If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

If you think you might have two copy-paste blurbs that are identical but worded differently, go check then copy this into your profile!

If you can raed tihs, cnorgadluatoins! you are one of the samrt peploe who dno't need to look at the wrod idniviudlaly, but as a wolhe! Olny samrt poelpe can raed tihs bceuase tehy are good raedres. Msot good raedres can raed wrdos wehn the frist and lsat ltetres of the wrod are the smae, and tehre are the smae auomnt of lteters in the wrod...if you could read that, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You squeeze a lemon, you get lemon juice. You squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. So how come when you squeeze a cow, you get milk??? COW JUICE, PEOPLE.

Copy and paste this if you have tripped up the stairs before and know your special, because everyone else seems to fall down them. (I have actually never fallen down the stairs)

Says if you were on a deserted island and you could only bring one item, how come people never say "a boat"? (I do! I also said Dora once, I mean, she has EVERYTHING in her backpack!)

I am glad that McDonalds does not sell hot dogs. Seriously I could never order a "McWeiner" with a straight face.

98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

1) NEED TO TELL YOU A SECRET (LO0K AT #5) 2) THE ANSWER IS (L0OK AT #11) 3) D0NT GET MAD (L0OK AT #15) 4) CALM DOWN DONT BE TICKED OFF ( L0OK AT #13) 5) FIRST (L0OK AT #2) 6) D0NT BE THAT MAD (L0OK AT #12) 7) I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI...LOL 8 ) WHAT I WANTED TO TELL YOU IS...(THE ANSWER IS ON #14) 9) BE PATIENT (L0OK AT #4) 10) THIS IS THE LAST TIME IMMA DO THIS (L0OK AT #7) 11) IM NOT MAD WHEN IM SAYIN THIS (L0OK AT#6) 12) S0RRY (L0OK AT #8 ) 13) D0NT BE GETTIN ALL HYPE (L0OK AT #10) 14) I D0NT KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS (L0OK AT #3) 15) YOU MUST BE REALLY TICKED OFF (L0OK AT NUMBER #9) (Put it on your page if you laughed)

One day, Sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. She got in his car and he drove her to the lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important.

Sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. However, he flicked her off, pushed her in the lake and yelled, “I am breaking up with you, you awful _ _ _ _ _!! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your _ _ _ _ _ _ _ life! DUMB _ _ _ _!!!”

He laughed and drove off. It was a very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the lake, freezing cold, and feeling the worst she had in her entire life. She got home went in a hot bath, and slit her wrists and died in the bathtub.

Her parents yelled and screamed at her to get out until they finally broke the door down. They saw no body, but the entire bathroom was dripping with her blood. Her mom went insane and killed herself three days later, her dad is in prison, accused of murder.

Later that week, Sarah’s ex boyfriend was taking a shower when she came from the drain, rotting and bloody, with a razor in her hand and said “Goodbye Jason.” She cut his throat before he could scream.

If you do not repost this with the title “1 scary way to break up”, you are a heartless _ _ _ _ _ _ and Sarah come to you in the shower from the drain, and will kill you the same way she killed her boyfriend. 24 ppl have broken this chain and died.

You have 13 minutes.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry That I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"

I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk

I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.

I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date

I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry That you can't realize... I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm sorry That I cared

I'm sorry That I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"

Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things

You Say Pink I Say Black (Not really) You Say Hannah Montana I Say Avril Lavigne You Say Jonas Brothers I Say Linkin Park You Say Zac Efron I Say Everyone is better then Zac Efron You Say Rap I Say Rock You Say I'm Weird I Say Thank you

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

You say BABY PINK I say BLOOD RED You say HANNAH MONTANA I say THREE DAYS GRACE You say ZAC EFRON I say POKEMON (HELL yeah!) You say RAP I say ROCK You say Im WEIRD I say YES I AM 92 of the teenage population has moved on to RAP. If YOU are part of the 8 that still headbang and love rock then put this on ur site!

A Beautiful Thing...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her."

AQUARIUS - The Slut

(1/20-2/18) Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to Have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

PISCES - The Addict

(2/19-3/20) EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationship. Talkative. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LEO - The Cool One

(7/23-8/22) Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you'll ever meet! Very beautiful. Amazing; however, not the kind of person you wanna mess with... you might end up crying... 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CANCER - The Smart One.

(6/22-7/22) Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being In long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

ARIES- The Irresistible One

(3/21-4/19) Nice Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in bed... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SAGITTARIUS-The One that Waits

(11/22-12/21) Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always Wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Beautiful. Goofy. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. 7 Years of bad luck if you do not repost.

TAURUS- The Aggressive One

(4/20-5/20) MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great at telling Stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LIBRA - The Partner for Life

9/23-10/22) Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CAPRICORN - The Cute One

(12/22-1/19) Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. EXTREMELY SEXY. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Has lots of friends. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Also not a fighter, but if they have to, they will also knock the lights out of you if it comes down to it..Cool. Loves to own Geminis' in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SCORPIO - The Gorgeous One

(10/23-11/21) Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Best kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. Amazing in bed. A caring person. One of a kind.Gorgeous Smile.Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

VIRGO- The Promiscuous One

(8/23-9/22) Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in the you know where..!! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

GEMINI - The Liar

(5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

Pokemon!

It's a battle win or lose

It's the friends you make

It's the road you choose

You got the right stuff

So make your mind up

To find the courage inside of you

If you're strong you'll survive

And you'll keep your dream alive

It's the Battle Frontier

Pokemon!

Be the best you can be

And find your destiny

It's the master plan

The power's in your hand

Pokemon!

You've got the strength to win it

so stay in it

And if you're smart you can take it on

If you're strong you'll survive

And you'll keep you're dream alive

It's the Battle Frontier,

Pokemon!

Be the best you can be

And find your destiny

It's the master plan (it's the master plan)

The power's in your hand

Pokemon!

Luv this song!

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." (This is me :) )

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run Girl, run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting in the cell next to you saying, "Lets do it again!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: will ignore this BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"

Friendship

None of that sissy crap. Are you tired of those 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of truths to our friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. When you are told "well you deserve better" by others, I will be prank calling him whispering "Seven days...".

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

Funny last words:

Hey, what's this button do?

Hey mommy, can I pet him?

I'm fine.

Watch this!

What's that?

Umm... That's not a stick in my sleeping bag...

What happens when I do this?

Don't worry. We're completely safe.

Look! A shooting star!

Reporting live from the battlefield...

Does it bite?

What's that smell?

What's that in your hand?

I'd like to see you try!

Last words are for fools.

Pass that bottle over here, will ya?

Be careful not to...

Has the cancer spread yet?

Who's shooting at us?

Can I have some candy, mister stranger?

What's that ticking sound?

Everyone loves me!

Ooh... it's shiny!

Is that a fin in the water?

Why yes, honey. That dress does make you look fat!

You and what army?

50 things Pokemon taught me from Deviant Art:

1. It's perfectly fine to give a young child a dangerous creature and throw them out in the real world to fend for themselves.

2. Even if it's a high tech encyclopedia, the pokedex is completely clueless on a pokemon's data until you catch it.

3. If you stand around for ten minutes talking about useless pokemon data, that pokemon will arrive pissed off and will attack you.

4. If you are a ten year old girl, then you are encouraged to show off 95% of your legs.

5. If you jumped over a ledge that has an item on it, you can't climb up it even though it could only be a few feet high.

6. If you try to use an item in the wrong situation, no matter where you are the disembodied voice of your professor will start nagging at you.

7. Every trainer in the wilderness wants your pokemon dead, no matter how tired your pokemon are.

8. No matter the personality, your male rival is always an ass to some degree.

9. Gym leaders will often make you go through life threatening challenges in their gyms just so you can fight them.

10. If you travel with two other people, chances are they are going to spend twenty minutes of every episode talking to you about useless crap.

11. You are completely incapable of going through a tree no bigger than a shrub, and have to make your pokemon cut it for you.

12. You can't climb over large rocks with holes in them and have to make your pokemon break it for you.

13. You are useless when it comes to using a flashlight in dark areas and have to make your pokemon light the area for you.

14. Meat is never identified and always is shown being served rather than cooked.

15. No matter the size or shape of your pokemon, it can survive being shot at by hyper beam or being exploded.

16. You can survive thousands of volts coursing through your body if you are shocked by a pokemon.

17. You haven't officially caught a pokemon until you strike a stupid pose and there is a flashy background that appears behind you.

18. Even if your bag is the size of a fanny pack, it can hold a million items of different sizes.

19. Even if you beat the shit out of them and throw a pokeball at their heads, your caught pokemon will always love you.

20. Even if you are spending a year traveling through a region, you never have to change your clothes or bathe.

21. If you beat the shit out of someone's pokemon, they will pay you.

22. Even if you caught a super powerful legendary pokemon, nobody seems to be impressed.

23. Your oppenents will continue to mock you even if you beat them savagely.

24. If you didn't nickname your pokemon, it will somehow know you are talking to it even if it is with a large group of it's own kind.

25. You always have to save the world, but nobody seems to know who you are or care about it.

26. It's perfectly fine for a child to go into a casino and gamble.

27. The police are completely unable to fight off nefarious pokemon gangs so you have to do it for them.

28. It's a wise choice to abandon the incredibly strong team you spent all of your time in one region training so you can start off with a derpy weak pokemon in another region.

29. Your professor will make you do their pokemon research for them.

30. If you are the hero, 9/10 your dad is dead, not present in your life or you were adopted.

31. Your pokemon can only fly to cities and not other landmarks/areas it knows perfectly well.

32. If you dive under the water, you will never drown.

33. Team Rocket is so dedicated to stealing your pokemon everyday that you will be shocked every time you see them.

34. If you encounter another trainer that you end up befriending, he/she will tell you some long winded story about their life and you will never see them again.

35. You can ride your dinky bicycle through a crowd of Harley riders and they will always want to race you or steal your wheels.

36. It's perfectly fine to cream little kids in battle and take their money.

37. You often have to do a bunch of errands for somebody just so they can tell you a bit of info or give you an item.

38. Pokemon cemetaries do nothing to stop the vicious ghost pokemon that constantly attack trainers.

39. Going to school and having an actual job is for pansies.

40. You are unable to see items laying right in front of you unless you turn on the item finder.

41. Televisions always show programs that your parents might like, or there are documentaries where people go around harrassing wild pokemon.

42. No matter the time of day, people will always stay in the same spot/area.

43. You have to say "AWE!" to let people know that you are surprised.

44. Even if you are walking into or standing right in front of them, legendary pokemon will never notice you until you ask them to cry for you.

45. No matter if a pokemon has the brain of a super computer, it can only remember 4 moves at one time.

46. No matter who you are, you are always the descendant of some hero and you have to battle some strong ass pokemon to save everybody.

47.Shiny pokemon aren't even shiny looking in appearance.

48. Nobody seems to care if you really did complete your pokedex other than to give you a stupid diploma.

49. People don't care if you break into their houses and go into their bedrooms.

50. Prof. Oak's talk show ironically showcases useless data on pokemon.

REASONS WHY WE GIRLS ARE THE BEST

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark

Yeah, GO GIRLS!

What makes life 100 percent?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98

K N O W L E D G E 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96

but:

A T T I T U D E 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

and: B U L L S H I T 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G 1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118

Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)

Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told, I went to school, I got straight As', I even got the gold!

But Mommy, when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another, And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Chris; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only now, And tell my dear sweet Grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now,

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best, Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better then the rest.

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass.

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this, Mommy, warn the others, Mommy, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy, tell the doctors; I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest, But Mommy, please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest.

Mommy, I ran as fast as I could, When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would, I'm not coming back.

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with Daddy; On that trip to the new zoo.

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live.

But Mommy, I'm must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy tell my boyfriend, I'm sorry, but I had to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true, And Mommy all I wanted to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

--In Memory Of The School Shootings-- If this poem touched you in any way, please pass it on. And even if it didn't, pass it on just for the memory of the innocent children

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY. "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Please read this, I promise it won’t give you a curse or anything like that- if you believe in all that stuff- it is just a really touching story.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart. As you can see, I went with #2

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream.

You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons.

You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another.

You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies.

You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows.

You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.

You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.

You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.

You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car.

You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call.

You thanked him by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation.

You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags

You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deeply he loved you.

You thanked him by moving halfway across the country

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him .

You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on your heart. If you love your dad, post this on your profile.

Gσt A Prσblεm?...Sσlνε It!

Lσst?...Gεt Fσund!

Think I'm Trippin?...Tiε Mч Shσε!

Cαn't Stαnd Mε?...Sit Dσωn!

Cαn't Fαce Mε?...Wεll Turn Arσund!

Lσvε Mε?...Grεαt!

Hαtε Mε?...Eνεn Bεttεr!

Think Im Uglч?...Dσn't Lσσк At Mε!

Dσn't Likε Mч Stчlε?...Gσ Lιкє Yσurѕ!

Dσn't Knσw Mε?... Dσn't Judge Mε!

Think Yσu Knσw Mε?...Yσu Hαvε Nσ Idεα!

Think I'm Not Cool?... Go Get A Fan!

Think I'm A Loser?...Find A Trophy!

Think I Have No Life?...Go Find One!

Copy & Paste if you believe any of these things!

I may not know you, but I know 10 things about you.

1) You are a human (hopefully)

2) You are reading this

3) You cannot touch your elbow with your tongue

4) You just tried to see if I was wrong

5) You live on Earth (again, hopefully)

6) You cannot walk on water

7) You can talk

8) You are breathing right now (hopefully)

9) You do not know me IRL

10) You do not understand me

My Favourite Sayings:

Better never than late.

The world is complicated.

Never be someone you are not.

Never judge a book by it's cover.

Copy and Paste If...

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile

If you wish you could meet somebody IRL that you have met online, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that it would be fun to slap someone you hate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to be yourself and no one else, copy this to your profile.

If you have lost your sanity years ago and are now insane, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever been called worthless, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love your friends more than you love yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think everything that isn't normal, is normal, if you understand this and totally agree copy and paste

m Sorry

I'm sorry that I bought you roses to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy"

I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not a jerk

I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy.

I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date

I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you, cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry That I cared

I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Most Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with jerks who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BRAINS AND A HEART to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet alot of girls do too.

95 percent of teens would become anorexic if someone called them fat, if you are the 5 percent who would tell the person, "Well, looks like I'll survive the harsh winter!" copy and paste this into you profile...I'm not fat (rather skinny) but its true!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

Her name was Auroura

She was only five

This is what happened

When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk

Her mom was an addict

Her parents kept her

Locked in an attic

Her only friend was a little toy bear

It was old and worn out

And had patches of hair

She always talked to it

When no one's around

She lays there and hugs it

Not a peep of sound

Until her parents

unlock the door

Some more and more pain

She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg

A scar on her face

Why would she be

In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear

And softly cry's

She loves her parents

But they want her to die

She sits in the corner

Quiet but thinking," God, why? Why is

My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life

For a sad little kid

She'd get beaten and beaten

For anything she did

Then one night

Her mom came home high

The poor child was hit and slapped

As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly

Grabbed for a blade

It was sharp and pointy

One that she made

She thrust the blade

Right in her chest,

" You deserve to die

You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out

Leaving the girl slowly dying

She grabbed her bear

And again started crying

Police showed up

At the small little house

They quickly barged in

Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly

Opened a door

To find the sad little girl

Lying on the floor

It must have been bad

To go through so much harm

But at least she died

With her best friend in her arms

If you hate child abuse then repost this on your profile. If you don't then you have NO SOUL!! YOU FREAKS!! NOW POST IT OR I'LL GIVE YOU A HORRIBLE BEATING! WORSE THAN ANY KID SHOULD EVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH!!

If you don't do drugs (They are nasty), copy/paste this into your profile.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile.

This is about abortion. Read on, but have a tissue ready.

Month one

Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy I'm a boy!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile (abortion isn't some random preventative measure; it's murder. It's evil, cruel, and it's a gift...from the devil.)

Why is Sydney (Blues) better than Brisbane (Maroons)

Sydney is more civilised and attracts more tourists!

Where was the Sydney Opera House which was a Wonder of the World?

Who won in the recent game? Rabbithos or Broncos? Starts with an R! Wanna buy a vowel?

BLUE IS A BETTER COLOUR!!!

We have billions of teams...Rabbithos, Eels, Sea Eagles...YOU ONLY HAVE BRONX!

And yes, we are going to win this years SOO...so too bad for you!

My current Pokemon FFN Team:

Blaziken, Level 92

Lapras, Level 81

Arcanine, 82

Glaceon, 85

Salamance, 90

Absol, 89

POkemon in PC: Altaria, Haxourous, Blastoise, Braviary, Dewgong, Elektros, Empoleon, Feraligatr, Flygon, Frosslass, Gallade, Garchomp, Honchcrow, Luxray, Milotic, Ninetails, Pachirisu, Pidgeot, Lucario, Roserade, Scizor, Skitty, Superior, Spiritomb, Staraptor, Togekiss, Unfazant, Weavile, Zoruark

100 Rules:

of Anime

The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.

#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.

#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.

#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves, Armoured Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down. NOTE: Sometimes, Anime heroes or villains never really die! In these rare cases they were a clone or cyborg and the real hero/villain’s suspiciously missing in "Malletspace", or something.

#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the "Bad Guys" are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a "Good Guy" kicks the "Bad Guy" in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything. First Corollary- Anything that explodes bulges first. Second Corollary- Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass. First Corollary- Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also known as the A-Ko phenomenon.

#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the "Bad Guys" when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect) Example: A "Good Guy" in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of "Bad Guys" firing on a "Good Guy" standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss. First Corollary- The more "Bad Guys" there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage. Second Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is faced with insurmountable odds, the "Bad Guys" line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape. Third Corollary- Whenever a "Good Guy" is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated "Good Guy Area", usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the "Good Guy" from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers. Fourth Corollary- The more times the "Bad Guy" fires, the fewer times he will hit.

#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)

#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work just as well...

#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song. First Corollary- Whenever a single war machine (mecha, starship, etc.) goes up against an entire army, the army always loses.

#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...

#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying.

#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny "Bad Guy" or a big stupid "Good Guy". First Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect) Second Corollary- The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors. Third Corollary- Canadians are usually portrayed as smart, strong, handsome "Good Guys".

#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably: 1) be female. 2) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation. 3) wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.

#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for "Good Guys" and red for "Bad Guys". This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them. First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability)- All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow. Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability)- Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage. Third Corollary (Probable Attire permanence)- The clothing on the hero is indestructible. Their capes, robes, (and if they are girls,) skirts, dresses, bows, or any loose clothing will just flap when they are in the middle of a fire or ice attack... Unless it's a hentai. It is believed that the clothes are made out of Anime Character hair. (re. Laws 32 & 48)

#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc. Is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things, like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.

#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are: 1) The Hero/Leader 2) His Girlfriend 3) His Best Friend/Rival 4) A Hulking Brute 5) A Dwarf/Kid Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include: 1) Extreme Coolness 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible Irritation

#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an extrasdimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace". First Corollary (AKA The Hammer Rule)- The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed , embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa. First Corollary- Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.

#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.

#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).

#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect"). First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame, wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff Sniff

#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression.

#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys" witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon")

52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons for this are: 1) They forgot that the person is telepathic. 2) They just don’t give a damn. The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are: 1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else. 2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic. 3) They just don’t give a damn.

#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits. First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid, etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.

#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late. First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy". Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring: a) The control device being broken. The control device being taken by the "Good Guy". c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just "fooled" by the "Good Guy". d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman.

#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes: a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me look. A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)

#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.

#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. (The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation- First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping". Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis. First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver. Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters, or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.

#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.

#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and 65)

#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either: a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and exposition), Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a position to ravish beautiful girls, or c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)

#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.

#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...

#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.

#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.

#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible. First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toastied.

#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!

#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (see Laws #67, 69, and 84)

#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in: a) The hero escaping. Clean-up for the underlings. c) The villain getting toastied.

#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.

#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.

#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...

#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following characteristics: 1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples. 2) Very tight and/or sensitive vaginas.

#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina.

#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.

#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death! First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because: 1) It’s his girlfriend’s. 2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so. 3) Chicks will dig him more. Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute lil’ mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because: 1) It’s her boyfriend’s. 2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so. 3) It makes her look cool.

#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...") First Corollary- Even when raped or molested by tentacles, Hentai Anime girls eventually get into it & begin squealing in ecstasy. NO one knows WHY this is, but some theorize there may be some kind of chemical that is secreted through the skin of the tentacle... Second Corollary- Women who are impregnated by a tentacle creature never experience morning sickness, and also find it to be intensely pleasurable (Also known as the Goofy Meter Redline Effect). Third Corollary- Similarly, the resulting... offspring of tentacle/human relations is immediately sexually active, often impregnating its own mother again.

#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur. First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive, you can follow it from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/B-ko Thing")

#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect".)

#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, have the following crew members: 1) The captain 2) His Lieutenant 3) Various female technical staff 4) A hotshot pilot 5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not) 6) The Doctor 7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not) Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include: 1) Extreme coolness/luck 2) Amazing Intelligence 3) Incredible irritation 4) Extreme cuteness 5) Irresponsible drunkenness 6) Homophobicness 7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...

#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.

Woah...is my profile long? Or is it me?

Well, I hope my profile was...helpful! Dang it, Im bad at Vocab, well bugger me!