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Night Monkey
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since: 08-08-03, id: 435058, Profile Updated: 06-07-13
country: USA
Author has written 36 stories for Batman, D.Gray-Man, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Supernatural, and Futurama.

'Ello! Night Monkey, Super-Evil Monkey of the Night here! If you're wondering where the name came from, it was a skit on the show Jackass. There was a lot of alcohol and bananas involved. Best not to ask.

If for some reason you'd like to know a bit about me, I'll give you a brief bio.

I'm a 23 year old female from the state of PA. I'm a registered Democrat, and I cast my vote for Barack Obama (and no, I don't regret it). I have aspiring dreams to be a writer. I am fond of British slang and Spanish curse words. I have used Yiddish words in conversation. I suppose it makes sense that I'm an English major.

Long list of favorite bands, TV shows, and books? Bah, who needs it? Instead of subjecting you to that typical profile torment, I'll just give you some of my favorite quotes, which are more interesting and useful, anyway.

The man who has his millions will want everything he can lay his hands on and then raise his voice against the poor devil who wants ten cents more a day. - Samuel Gompers

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. -Robert Frost

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his abilities. - Oscar Wilde

Speaking personally, you can have my gun, but you'll take my book when you pry my cold, dead fingers off of the binding. -Stephen King

You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact. -John Lennon

"Everything must have a purpose?" asked God. "Certainly," said man. "Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this," said God. And He went away. -The Book of Bokonon

Lo behold a pale horsez with a dood sitin on it, his naym wuz Deaths, an liek Hadez an stuff followd himz. Him had enuf skillz to be in ur base killin lots ur doodz. -Revelation 6:8 of the LOLCat Bible (I am not making that up!)

Now, as for my fanfiction. I was dormant for about two years before coming back to life. I have quite a few ideas, so I hope to remain active this time around. I find the whole process of writing both relaxing and exciting. Since I'm a writing major in college, fanfiction is also good practice.

As for my likes and dislikes, fanfiction-wise:

Mary-Sues: Hate them, despise them, get violently ill in their presence. We all have fantasies. Unless we are serial killers with impulse control problems, we don't subject unwilling victims to our desires. You may want to be a perfectly-proportioned blonde wizard sex-cake with boobies everyone wants to touch. I don't want to hear about it.

Slash: It's incredibly hard to find good slash. INCREDIBLY hard. I have no problem with slash as a genre, I have problems with slash not having plot, grammar, or spell-check. Also, some characters were simply not meant to be gay, no matter how hard you try.

OC's: Original Characters have a way of unfailingly becoming Mary-Sues. It's like the force of evolution turns an OC into a perky little monster over the course of four chapters. Frightening, really.

Missing Sister/Twin: Harry Potter writers, I'm calling you out specifically here! There are no secret hidden twins! That's pure soap-opera fodder! Also, these missing twins/sisters are almost entirely of the Mary-Sue variety. You know, insanely powerful wizards, sexy enough to ensnare the Pope, that kind of thing.

Modern Age: One of my favorite fics is actually of this variety. Sadly, most Modern Age fics are crap. Somehow anachronistic characters, asides from surviving into the modern age, entirely change their personalities. And not for the better. You'd think a person, elf, hobbit, etc living thousands of years would have better things to do than shop at Wal-Mart for days on end. But no.

Everyone Goes Emo: Just no. Please, my local mall is Emo-Jima. If I want to see wannabe poets dressed in black, I'll sit on a bench and stare for ten minutes.

Poetry: God, when you get a good piece of fanfiction poetry, the heavens just open. It's rarer than blue diamonds, but it will end up on your favorites list. By the way, poets, a haiku goes 5-7-5, and no other way. Damn it.

When I'm not writing, I'm usually reviewing. As some of you know, I'm a harsh, harsh bugger if you're an insipid scribbler. As a few of you may know, I give praise when praise is due. You don't want to be in that first group.

I'm going to start keeping a tally of all the rubbish fics I review. Starting July the 9th, 2010: IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII III (Not sure if seen a lot of Silents or killed a lot of people...)


1. Judgment Day reviews
He's evil, sadistic, and generally the last face you'd want to see greet you in the hereafter. But sometimes even Picasso with a Razor deserves a thanks for services rendered.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,152 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 6-5-13 - Alastair - Complete
2. The Devil Went Down to Georgia » reviews
Where he bought the soul of a Congressman, confronted a traitor, wore a spiffy sunhat, and ruined a perfectly good suit. Meg/Crowley. Now continued.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,178 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-27-13 - Published: 2-19-13 - Meg & Crowley
3. Revenge of the Nerds » reviews
Poison Ivy and the Scarecrow have joined forces and are plotting murder. Batman would never admit it, but he almost hopes they succeed. Why? Because their intended victim is the Joker. Sequel to Nerd.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 121,468 - Reviews: 270 - Updated: 5-4-13 - Published: 1-11-10 - Johnathan C./Scarecrow & The Joker
4. Fabulous Monsters reviews
Jervis is awoken in the middle of the night by the sound of screams. He follows his ears and discovers the Scarecrow has done something terrible. Jervis is then faced with an intolerable decision. Some Scarecrow/Hatter slash.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,914 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-29-13 - Jervis T./Mad Hatter & Johnathan C./Scarecrow - Complete
5. Queso Warmed Over reviews
Dean picks a fight with the wrong hammer-wielding pagan god and ends up dead. Good thing Death is there to keep him company. And provide snacks.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,768 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3-11-13 - Dean W. & Death - Complete
6. The Use of a Book reviews
Two madmen discuss the value of literature. It all goes down hill from there.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,721 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2-23-13 - Jervis T./Mad Hatter & Johnathan C./Scarecrow - Complete
7. Angels in the Garden » reviews
An attempt at landscaping turns into something far more lethal when a certain stone angel shows signs of life.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 42 - Words: 120,248 - Reviews: 353 - Updated: 1-7-13 - Published: 11-20-10 - Amelia P./Amy & 11th Doctor - Complete
8. Winter Wonderland reviews
Escaping from Arkham in the dead of winter means a long, cold walk back to your secret lair. That walk doesn't get any more pleasant when your fellow escapee can neither keep up nor shut up.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,734 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-24-12 - Johnathan C./Scarecrow & Jervis T./Mad Hatter - Complete
9. For Your Viewing Pleasure reviews
Crowley's going to have movie night, even if it kills him. And by "him," Crowley means Bobby.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,974 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12-22-12 - Bobby S. & Crowley - Complete
10. Anglophilia reviews
There's something wrong with Bobby. He's drinking tea, eating scones, and he's out of beer! Who's responsible for these dastardly changes to his personality? It's best Sam and Dean don't find out.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,757 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-26-12 - Bobby S. & Crowley - Complete
11. Candy Apple Red reviews
Halloween isn't so much fun when you're an adult, especially when the trick-or-treaters are armed with water guns and know how to use them.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,475 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10-23-12 - Sam W. & Dean W. - Complete
12. Losercest reviews
After faking his death, Crowley needs a way to torment the Winchesters without anyone realizing he's still alive and kicking. So he hits them right where it hurts the weirdest: in the Wincest. If he can't kill them, he'll scar them emotionally instead.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,944 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 8-30-12 - Crowley & Castiel - Complete
13. Best in Show reviews
Crowley raises the best Hellhounds and intends to make sure everyone knows it. Nothing spices up a dog show like the introduction of the King of Hell and his loyal pet.
Supernatural - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,582 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-25-12 - Crowley & Dean W. - Complete
14. Time Enough reviews
Two captains walk into a bar. One gets shot in the face. The other learns a thing or two about inanimate objects.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,551 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 5-2-12 - Jack H. & John H. - Complete
15. Ectothermic Christmas reviews
Madame Vastra and Jenny need a real Christmas miracle and the Doctor's in the business of delivering them.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,179 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-29-11 - Madame Vastra & Jenny - 19th Century - Complete
16. You Call That an Ink Defense? reviews
The Eleventh Doctor is lonely and needs a friend. Why not Zoidberg?
Crossover - Doctor Who & Futurama - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,590 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-28-11 - 11th Doctor & Zoidberg, J. - Complete
17. Candy from Strangers reviews
The Scarecrow has some special treats for Gotham this Halloween night.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,419 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 10-31-11 - Johnathan C./Scarecrow - Complete
18. Stormageddon and Strax reviews
Alfie's mother isn't home and his father hasn't got mammary glands. What's a baby to do? Luckily, there's a genetically modified nurse around to help.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,426 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10-1-11 - Craig O. & Commander Strax - Complete
19. A Thousand Years in the Making reviews
While trying to keep his head in medieval France, the Fourth Doctor meets a fellow time-traveler. This wayward traveler has been waiting centuries for such an encounter. Mild slash.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,231 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-1-11 - 4th Doctor & Jack H. - Complete
20. To Serve Man reviews
It's a cookbook! To be more precise, it's a galactic cookbook the Doctor should never have unearthed.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,241 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 4-29-11 - 11th Doctor & Amelia P./Amy - Complete
21. Dalek in a Box reviews
Will there be peace on Earth and good will towards men this Christmas? Not if the Daleks can help it!
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,584 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-23-10 - 10th Doctor & Daleks - Complete
22. Give Peace a Chance reviews
A misguided but very well-intentioned alien race tries to foster peace between the Doctor and his greatest foe. Things don't go as well as they hoped.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,106 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 11-8-10 - 10th Doctor & Daleks - Complete
23. Making Ends Meet reviews
An intergalactic recession strikes, and even the Daleks aren't immune. How do they continue their efforts to exterminate the last of the Time Lords when they're strapped for cash?
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,195 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 11-3-10 - Daleks - Complete
24. Nothing Like the Original reviews
Halloween in Gotham always carries an inherent element of risk. That's what makes it so much fun. For the Scarecrow.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,910 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 10-26-10 - Johnathan C./Scarecrow - Complete
25. Plausibility » reviews
The Scarecrow doesn't care who she is, where she hails from, or where she's going. He just needs a ride. OC but no romance, I can guarantee you that.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 40 - Words: 113,359 - Reviews: 436 - Updated: 10-11-10 - Published: 2-7-10 - J. Crane - Complete
26. The Widest Generation Gap reviews
He's 600 years old and only has three kids? Highly unlikely. Ra's al Ghul discovers another branch of his family tree in a surprising place.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,688 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 7-29-10 - Complete
27. Disposing of the Evidence reviews
Jasdevi steals certain sensitive items from Tyki. They have to get rid of the evidence before he can catch and eviscerate them. Flushing it seemed like a good idea at the time.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,599 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 5-11-10 - Jasdero & Tyki Mikk - Complete
28. March Hares and Mock Turtles reviews
A mysterious and utterly irrelevant stranger drops a white rabbit off on the Mad Hatter's doorstep. He falls in love with the spastic creature, but has no food for such an animal. So off to the pet store he goes!
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,245 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1-1-10 - Jervis T./Mad Hatter - Complete
29. However You Celebrate reviews
Harley feels that the Scarecrow hasn't embraced the Christmas spirit, and decides to take matters into her own hands. She decorates her heart out, bringing all the cheer she can to the Scarecrow's lair. Can he avoid killing her over it?
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,354 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 12-23-09 - Harley Quinn & Johnathan C./Scarecrow - Complete
30. Knock, Knock » reviews
Jehovah's Witnesses are spreading the word of God all over Gotham. What happens when they knock on all the wrong doors? Warning: will probably offend serious theists, as it has in the past.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,317 - Reviews: 107 - Updated: 12-20-09 - Published: 12-30-08 - Complete
31. Ungodly Hours of the Morning reviews
The Scarecrow breaks into Poison Ivy's greenhouse, looking for new ingredients to use in his fear toxin. It does not go over well, especially once Ivy shows just how frightening a woman can be.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,657 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 12-8-09 - Poison Ivy & Johnathan C./Scarecrow - Complete
32. Nerd » reviews
The Joker sets out to prove that the Scarecrow is nothing more than a nerd. Can Dr. Crane show that mad scientist and geek are not synonymous? Will he have any dignity left by the end of the Joker's experiment?
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 85,066 - Reviews: 247 - Updated: 12-6-09 - Published: 3-5-09 - The Joker & Johnathan C./Scarecrow - Complete
33. Fun With Ouijas reviews
The Joker shows up in Crane's hideout on Halloween. Why? Because the clown's picked up a Ouija board and he's dying to try it out. Are any of Gotham's lost souls willing to speak?
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,388 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 11-5-09 - The Joker & Johnathan C./Scarecrow - Complete
34. Indecent Exposure reviews
General Cross's womanizing and drinking finally gets him into serious trouble. Robbed of his dignity and his clothes, he's forced to make a run for it in the middle of winter. Will he ever change his ways? No.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,140 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-3-09 - Cross Marian - Complete
35. Get a Job! reviews
The Millennium Earl, sick of lazy Jasdevi getting a free ride, forces the twins to get a job. Jasdevi is stuck in a fast-food joint, flipping burgers. What happens when an unsuspecting exorcist comes seeking food?
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,952 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 9-30-09 - Jasdero & Arystar Krory III - Complete
36. Better Left Unanswered » reviews
The Noah family tries to solve some mysteries that should just be left mysterious.
D.Gray-Man - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,124 - Reviews: 56 - Updated: 9-6-09 - Published: 7-11-09 - Road C. & Tyki Mikk - Complete
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Community: OCs From Hell
Focus: Movies » Batman Begins/Dark Knight