Hi guys. I'm TheMajesticTaleinator. I hope you like my books and if you flame me warning: I'm physic and i know where you live. Mwahahaha. But ya and stuff. Kay, coolio! Bi!

BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you saying "Man we're screwed up!"

FRIENDS:Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS:Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are temporary
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him saying "seven days"

FRIENDS:hides you from the cops.
BEST FRIENDS:is probably the reason they're after you in the first place...

FRIENDS:will go to a concert with you.
BEST FRIEND: will help you kidnap the band.

FRIENDS:will help you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: will trip you again and/or sit on your back to keep you down.

FRIENDS:

Will ask whats wrong
BEST FRIENDS: Will go to the person who made you sad with a shovel

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS:Will re-post this!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.(I do this most days)

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.(A lot)

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile(It's a place where my favorite characters all live!)

Imagine Justin Bieber stand on the edge of a 13 story cliff. 92% of the world would say, "NOOOOOOOOOO!" The other 8% would say, "Do a flip, do a flip!"

Miley Cyrus, Edward Cullen and friends, Plus Justin Beaver are on a diving board on top of Mount Olympus (NYC)

91% would be sobbing. Copy if your one of the nine percent with snacks and theater seats.

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to what? Outer space?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief. DREAM MURDERERS!)

Please read-true story (not me)
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.
She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now.
I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'
His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God.
Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet.
I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing.
He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'
'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''
'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.'
I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it.
There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll,
so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''
'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much.
But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
'My mommy loves white roses.'
A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago,
which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state.
The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.
The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:
1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy:Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

If you have written an awesome story, but can never seem to finish it, copy this to your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this onto your profile.

.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

"Gibberish, gibberish, gibberish. I can speak gibberish too, you know." Peter, Neverland Part II

"If you were waiting for the opportune moment, That was it." CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, Prites of the Caribbean CBP

"Me? I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly, stupid." CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, Prites of the Caribbean CBP

"I can name fingers and can point names." CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean OST

"Clergyman, on the off chance that this does not go well for me, I would like you to note it-hearing now-that I am fully prepared to believe in whatever I must, and be welcomed into that place where all the "goody-goodies" want to go once they pop their clogs. Savvy?" CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean OST

"There's no stupid questions, just stupid people." My 6th grade history teacher

"I'm not allowed to derictly insult visitors." the Real Bernard, Megamind

(\_/)
(O.o)
/o o\O

Join the dark side, Mwuhahahaha!!
(we have cookies)
This is Bunny
Copy Bunny to your Personal
text to help him achieve
world domination.

Today I saw two blue beach houses next to each other. One was named Parkplace. The other was Boardwalk. Half of the world would not understand this. Half would. Copy this if you understand this riddle and add your profile name.

You know you're addicted to Pirates of the Caribbean when...

- You buy anything you see with PotC on it, even if the thing is completely useless.

- You'd drink rum even though you don't really like it!

- You don't just quote the movie, you regularly quote the deleted scenes and outtakes.

- You quote it without realizing it.

- You say "I'm disinclined to acquiesce your request" instead of 'no'.

- You correct people who forget to say Captain Jack Sparrow.

- You walk like Jack.

- You get really excited about 'Talk Like A Pirate Day'

Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING!

This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

If you don't it will become the opposite.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts. (With commentary by Sequoia Grant)

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms. (He is too!)

2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one. (Humph.)

3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge. (It is a challenge though!)

4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. (Oppsie.)

5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class (It would be fun to see what the teacher would do though! Trelawney would be entranced by it.)

6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss. (Now why would I do that?)

7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda (Yoda...his first name is not.)

8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar (Okay! That's just mean! Who ever came up with this is a jerk!)

9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy (Darn it!!!)

10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month" (Again...that's mean.)

11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals (BRB, I got some Pokemon cards to deliver.)

12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches (Why would I be there in the first place?)

13) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball (Sorry Pansy.)

14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!" (It wouldn't be Robin though, it would be Paige!!!)

15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. (C’mon!)

16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor (Why would I do that? I am a Gryffindor!)

17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental. (Sure it is…)

18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak. (Darn!)

19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" (I gotta use that!)

20) I will not dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dust buster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want. (I can’t have any fun can I?)

21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. (Behold! The horrors of Calculus!)

22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" (A little too late!!!)

23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions. (Oh my gosh! I have to do that now!!!)

24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom. (You’re a jerk.)

25) It’s not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate. (Oh my gosh! Yes it is!!!)

26) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway. (I will too!)

27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. (Darn it!!)

28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. (Say what?)

29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" (And people wonder why I am sent to Filch’s office so often.)

30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. (Do you realize how funny that would be?!!!?)

33) It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall that she takes herself too seriously. (Not really…)

34) "Ya'll check this junk out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental spell. (DON'T DO IT PAIGE!!!)

35) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort. (Man! Now I gotta take that one off my list of things to do...)

36) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. (Too late..."Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair!”)

You see that girl you just called odd?
Her mother died when she was 9.
You see that boy with the lightning bolt scar you just made fun of?
Hes lived in a cupboard under some stairs for 11 years.
You see that boy you just saw crying in the toilets?
He had to kill his headmaster to make his parents proud.
You see that boy who has lost his Remembrall?
His parents suffered a fate worse than death.
Copy and paste this if you are against bullying.

6 Facts

1. You can't lick all your teeth

2. You just tried to do it

3. The first fact is a lie

4.Your smiling because you feel stupid

5.Your laughing

6.Your still laughing

Sorry about all that sad stuff. I like sentimental stuff. Now build a bridge and get over it.

Now go read my stories!