There was once a little snake with no name,
Who stared at the quadrupeds with expressed shame.
Why did he, the little wormy guy, go without legs?
From the fountain of evolution, why was he given the dregs?
Sure, he could bite and mangle and kill and kill,
But it’s not as fun as punching holes with a bill.
He isn’t the ones bipeds portray surrounded by holly wreaths,
And instead he’s left with leaky teeth.
Some birds get super cool eyesight so there’s nothing they’ll miss,
But poor ol’ snakey just sees how hot’s your piss.
He can’t run! He can’t fly! He can’t dance and he can’t sing!
No one loves him because it’s death he brings!
Sometimes he eats berries to show he’s a real nice guy,
But the nearby shrub animals reel back screaming, “You lie, you lie!”
He has no friends: not even the other snakes think he’s swell,
And he wonders if it’s because he’s ugly; it’s definitely not the smell.
And so he’s left to wriggle and crawl in his inglorious fame,
Our poor little snake, the one with no name.

-Me, just to show that I'm alive and I have a sense of humour, even though it's composed in five minutes. Save the wildlife, kids.

Well, it's been a long time, isn't it?

Some other authors put status updates on their pages, but I don't like those because a 50 chapter completion doesn't tell you whether it'll be out in two days or in two months.

So here's a breakdown that will potentially help my fellow readers:

Odyssey's Blade

Frankly, I'm not liking how depressing this story is set to go. It is my first story, so I intend to finish it eventually, but right now I'm mulling over ideas on how to approach the newest chapter artistically. Don't expect this one to be updated anytime soon.

Saria's Last Song

I scrapped my last effort at the last chapter and tried again. Since I decided it was time I exercised some authorly creativity, I even took a new direction away from the traditional FF7 role of events! Also experimenting with a new style for this chapter, so you can expect this to be updated relatively soon (relative being key).

Golden Treasure

Honestly, the first chapter was written in a fit of inspiration, and that fit hasn't returned. The problem with that is that I feel that my second chapter isn't measuring up to the quality set by the 1st, which means a lot of revision. And a problem with revising humour is that after you've read your own joke a couple of times, you forget whether it was even funny in the first place. Once I break free of this cycle of write-dislike-rewrite, I'll stick out something.

Hopefully that told you guys something. I really apologising for being so quiet on the fanfic world for so long, but... Well, you've heard all the excuses.