Author has written 8 stories for Gundam Wing/AC, Fruits Basket, and Harry Potter.

Hey! I'm Sword Lady! I am more commonly known as a certain Sarah, or Sar, in other people's fics. I tip my hat to Shadow Cat and Mere who introduced me to the wonderful invention of ff.net. *scans notes and throws them out* OK I hit all of the major stupid stuff. Now on with the show.

~curtains rise~

SL-Let me introduce my computer, Lore.
L-Hello. It is a pleasure to meet you.
SL-Lore is married to Shadow Cat's computer, Jeb.
They have two laptops, Tower and Modem. And we
can't forget their pet mouse.
L-Speaking of which, I have to go and get
the kids from surfing lessons.
SL-What about Jeb?
L-He's on standbye. *Lore logs out*
L-OOOOKKKKKKKK. Well, that was my computer.
Now let me introduce my two alter egos. Kivan
and Elwin. AKA Elfboy and Elf-friend.
K-DO NOT CALL ME ELF BOY!!!!!!!
E- -_- I thought that elves were suppose to
be calm and stuff.
K-You shut up too! I didn't ask you!
E-You never do!
K-Why should I when you just blurt everything
out whenever you feel like it?
E-OH! So I am allowed to say whatever I
want Whenever
I want? *grins evilly*
K-*turns pale* NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!
*Kivan and Elwin fade off into the distance*
SL-Well, they could go on forever so let's
just take a brake for some commercials.

*~*~* Comercial Time!! *~*~*

Mere:Huh!? Waiiiiiit . . . . . Do I . . . . . ::looks at Sam-n-Sar:: Really? ::they nod:: YAY!!! I get to start!!! . . . . . . . . ummmmmmm . . . . . . uhhhhhhh . . . . . . Sam. . . . Sar . . . . . ::wimpers:: help . . . . . .

Shadow: God! You're hopeless!

Sar- *sits in a lawn chair, pulls off sunglasses* Don't look at me!!!

Sam: (ummmmmmmm.... I don't know what to say.....damnit!!! I'm typing this in) Oh! I remember!! *sits up from Sar's lap because we share a seat because their's not enough chairs* What do you want from me!!??!!

Sar- *leans back* I would frankly like to have my lap back. But that's just me.

Sam: *looks at Sar cheekly* Well, I like it so your not getting it back!!!

Thatz: *pops up from out of nowhere from a white bright flash of light* Can I have a sandwich?

Rune: *appears in a bright flash of light* Is that all you think about?

Thatz: No..... I think about money and sleep too!!

Rune: -__-;;;;; Why do I even bother!?!

Rath: *appears in a bright flash of light* Can I get out of this bag now? *tied up in a green pink flower printed bag*

Rune: Ummmmmmmmmm...... no!!!

Rath: But koi!

Rune: No buts!!! If you didn't try to run off and fight demons then I wouldn't have to place you in a bag!!!!!!!!

Manty-Chan: Sam you do know that Sar is using you for a desk?

Sam: *bright smile* Yep!!!

Shadow: How much sugar have you had?

Sam: None I got high off of Rath's cuteness!!!!!!!!!!!

Shadow: -__-;;;;;

Manty-Chan: LET MERE HAVE THE KEYBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!

Sam: *pouts* FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mere: SAM!!!!!!! My comment was susposed to go in like, a million years ago!!!!

Sam: Ummm . . . . Well . . . . SAY IT ALLREADY!!!

mERE: i'LL GIVE YOU A special SANDWICH . . . . . ::WINKS::

tHATZ: ::BLINKS:: wHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS!!!

mERE: ahhhhhh!!!! ATTACK OF THE EVIL CAPSLOCK!!! die!!!

cAPSLOCKS:: ::MAKES FUNNY TYPE DIEING NOISES::

sTEF: ahhhh! nOOO! hE DIED! darnit!!!

sAM: HUH!?!?!?!?!?!?

sAR: mERE . . . . . EXPLAIN . . . . .

mERE: sHE'S PLAYING tHE sIM'S

tHATZ: oHHH . . . . DID YOU FIX IT YET!!!!

mERE: oH NOOO!! wHY DON'T YOU HELP ME tHATZ . . . . . ::WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE, COUGH COUGH::

rUNE: ::SIGHS:: hERE THEY GO AGAIN!

s,s,m: can you say foreshadowing!!!!!

Sar- ......... all of you can just one of my favorite words.

Rath: Waterlights
*Manty-Chan looks up -What?-*
Thatz . . . . . . has she dropped enough hints yet?

Thatz: Yes!

Mere: ::starry eyed::

Thatz: Now WHERE'S MY SANDWICH!!

Shadow:: ::hits Thatz with THE GODFORSAKEN WEAPON::

Sar: ::gives Manty-Chan a wrapped box:: I got you a present!

Manty-Chan: ::openes it:: Yay!!! A Mini-Murder-Weapon!!

Mere: Shut up for a sec Japanese Stingray.

Manty-Chan: Why you-! ::being held back by Thatz:: Heeeey! Lemme go!!

Thatz: Consider this payback for turning me into a fairy! ::takes a bite of his SPECIAL sandwich::

Mere: Sarah Marie Maxwell!

Sar: . . . What?

Mere: I challenge you!!

Sar: ::dramatic pause:: . . . . . uh, to what?

Mere: I was wondering when you would ask that . . . . .

Sar: Shut up.

Mere: Anyway-

Sam: I TOLD YOU USE 'NWAYS!!!!:: VERY pissed::

Mere: . . . . . riiiight . . . . . . 'NEWAYS ::sam does an inappropriate inverbal jesture:: . . . . . . I challenge you to . . . . . .

Shadow: JUST SAY IT ALLREADY!!!

Mere: ::flicks her off:: I challenge you to use all of your 'FAVORITE' words in only one sentence.

Sar- *stands up, adjusts tie, coughs* I will murder all of you in a bloody masacre and you all die leaving behind your maimed corpses and thence forth I will asassinate Dorthy Catlonia by method of an initial stab with slicing and ending it in a decapitation. Now what do I get for doing that?

Mere- Who's your favorite Gundam crush?

Sar- .... OH...wait that would be incest...... well can I have Quatre?

Mere- I personally would murder you. Even if I have to use my feet, I will murder you.

Sar- Oh well can I just borrow him?

Mere- IF YOU TOUCH HIM YOU DIE! What about Trowa!?!?!?

Sam- *full name Samantha Rose Barton* Whose aucting off my older brother?

Mere- MMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sam- Meredith Ellen Winner! (by marriage)

Sar- Well, Sam can I?

Sam: *thinks* Ummmmmmmmmmm... can I have him back when we're performing?

Sar- Sure!

Sam: ok then!!

Sword Lady- Well, that was our 'little' commercial. So if you would like to see (read) us again, we'll be at Shadow Cat's for a while. See ya in her bio.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_

time passed .......a lot of time passed

Kivan: OK! Now we're here........So where the hell are they?!?!?!

Cat: *hits Kivan over head with frying pan* No cursing!

Kivan: What was that all about! You curse all the time!

Cat: I'm standing in for Sword.

Shadow: Yeah you know she'd have done that.

Trinton: *looks off into a dark corner suprised but says nothing*

Elwin: Kivan, don't curse. It's not nice. And you'll give yourself a heartattack and when Ihsan does get back, the two of you won't be able to have fun anymore.

Kivan: Alrigh- ELWIN!!!!!!!

Shadow: *laughing* I knew I loved this child.

Elwin: *grinning* And I love Aunt Shadow!

Shadow: That's my girl.

Kivan: What have you been teaching her?!?!?!

Shadow: Oh nothing.... Unless you count the finner points of how to make things burn and embaress you.

Kivcan: SHADOW!! Stay away from her!!!!

Trinton: Hey guys-

Manty-Chan: Do you have to yell Kivan? It hurts my ears. *pouts*

Kivan: Sorry Manty-Chan.

Trinton: Ummmm guys-

Cat: Kivan you'd better be sorry! She's little!

Kivan : I said I was sorry didn't I?

Trinton: *knocks everyone down with his staff* Guys!

All: *look over to yell at Trinton but stop*

Trinton: Where did she come from? *points to a girl crouched in the dark corner*

Cat: *stands up and walks over to girl* Hey, Ema- *stops when girl cringes away* Oh dear.

Kivan: Who's she?

Cat: She's what I'm guessing Sword took Ihsan for.

Kivan: *suspicious* Why?

Cat: Because..... well....it's hard to explain. SWORD! I need you! Ema's here!

Kivan: Wh-

Sword Lady and Ihsan: *appear* What?!

"Ema": *looks up at them and runs to them hugging both of them*

Sword Lady: Emanon! Where have you been? We were looking all over the place for you!

Emamon: I got lost and ended up here. Then they showed up. I got scared. *said quietly*

Sword Lady: *looks up glaring at them all* Why'd you scare her?! You brutes!

Cat: It's not like we did it on purpose.

Many-Chan: We didn't know she was here. We came looking for you two.

Kivan: Speaking of which.....Why did you take Ihsan?

Sword Lady: Kivan! *in a threatening voice*

Ihsan: *puts a hand on her shoulder* Calm down. It's not like we told anyone.

All but Manty-Chan and Cat: What are you talking about?

Cat: *rubs head* You are all such perverts!

Sword Lady and Ihsan: *blush* It's not like that!

Emanon: *looks up at them* Not like what?

Manty-Chan: I don't get it.

Cat: That's a good thing dear.

Ihsan: Well, do you remember what happened when we had the "Writer's Block" Incident? *they nod* Well, you all weren't there-

Cat: I was there!

Ihsan: Ok, besides Cat, none of you were there. When Sarah/Emanon had to go home, we found out that she couldn't. But apparently she'd already thought of that. She split into two parts. Sarah went home. The half she left behind was in the form of a girl of about ten years old. We've been trying to allow her time to adjust to this world. Her name is Emanon. *puts hands on Emanon's shoulders*

Sword Lady: Ihsan's the only one she really knows, so when I couldn't find her, I got him. I'm sorry, but I got real worried. She's a very sensative person.

Elwin: It's alright.

Kivan: As long as that's why you two left.

Manty-Chan and Trinton: Welcome Emanon!

Shadow: Hey kid!

Cat: Sorry I didn't come and visit, Ema. But I figured you should get adjusted first.

Emanon: It's OK. *gives a small smile* So you're......

Ihsan: The flying fairy is Manty-Chan. The scarry cat demon is Shadow. The Kender is Trinton. The other elf is Kivan. The human is Elwin.

Ema: And that's Miss. Cat, right?

Cat: *hugs her* Oh she's so cute!

Shadow:.......Miss. Cat?

Ema: Is that wrong Miss. Shadow lady?

Shadow: *stuttering* Well- I -umm.... No that's fine.

Ema: *turns to others* So you're Mr. Kivan sir? *Kivan hesitantly nods* Manty-Chan? *she smiles and flies around Ema* Trinton? *he bows with a smile* Elwin? *she grins and hugs Ema*

Sword Lady: Yep that's everyone. Well, as much as I would love to stay and chat, Ema and I have to go make a room for her at Ihsan's house. SO we'll see ya later. *Sword Lady and Ema wave and disappear*

Others: Bye!

Cat: We gotta go. I got a ........project... yeah, a project to do. *grins and leaves with muses*