Hello all and welcome to (one of my many) internet abodes! I’m your average, everyday, (allegedly) female humanoid, with nothing to do but get educated – and I refuse to willingly participate in THAT. So I tend to come here instead. Born in Australia with a full set of extremely Greek, extremely Woggy parents, I've been a member of this site for a few years now, and have managed to pop out a few stories so far (most of which are undeniably crap). If you’re going to have a go at anything I’ve written, I warn you to please try and keep yourself to the top of the list. My old stuff is absolutely shocking but no, I’m not pulling anything down.

Mostly, I write humor. It’s (what I like to think) I’m good at. I do have one angsty piece I wrote in a dramatic teenage fit a few years back, but it’s probably safest you steer clear of that. You should also have a look at my Favorite Stories list. It’s currently in need of a bit of a cleaning out, but I’ve collected quite a few gems in there that are definitely worth a look.

On a Lord of the Rings note, I love Hobbits.

"You'll live to regret it, young fellow! You don't belong here; you're no Baggins - you - you're a Brandybuck!"
"Did you hear that, Merry? That was an insult, if you like," said Frodo as he shut the door on her.
"It was a compliment," said Merry Brandybuck, "and so, of course, not true."

- The Fellowship of the Ring: A Long-Expected Party

On a Harry Potter note, you may want to know that I despise Ginny Weasley. I mean, I like her just fine on her own I guess, but she needs to mysteriously disappear before Harry realises she has boobs and his evil green tummy-monster comes to life. My take on Rowling's attempt at their romance is as follows;

One day Ginny fell in love with some knobbly little kid with a really good complexion who just happened to be freaking famous. For four years she sat quietly in the corner and admired his scar, until one day BAYUM! She slutted up and Harry finally noticed her. After suddenly gaining a rather outspoken personality and dating her way through the male population of Hogwarts, she sidled up to our hero and winked. "Oh Harry," she breathed. "Won't you look at my luscious, red hair? Doesn't it just make you think of Ron? Or perhaps your mother? I am now an admirable and strong character. Why dont we go into a cupboard where you can feel me up." And so they did. Nineteen years later, they had some babies.

Fin.

On a General note, I don't write disclaimers for my stories. Unless I borrow something directly from it's source, I expect that my readers are intelligent enough to realise that they are on a fancfiction site and are therefore reading fiction from the fans of some original work or another. Also, I should probably warn everyone right now that I’m a perfectionist, a procrastinator, and currently enrolled in a full time course at uni. Nothing, and I mean nothing I write will have consistently posted chapters. In fact, you’ll all be luck if I even finish within a few years. Just thought I'd give you the heads up.

Also, don't forget to review, my lovelies! It's such an inspiration when you tell me what you think about my writing, as I really do put my heart and soul into making each chapter as good as I can. Anything you have to say is lovingly appreciated and fondled with much joy (fondled? FONDLED?!), and I secretly might actually enjoy a good concrit almost more than I do faultless praise. And that's about it!

Please enjoy anything I have to offer that takes your fancy, and allow me to reccomend to you my newest project;

Mostly Harmless. I won't say much about it, other than it's based on a story everyone's heard, a story that I KNOW you all love even though you'll never admit it, because it's become the lowest of the low forms of LotR fanfic. Well, not to toot my own horn (she says while tooting her own horn), but I've just raised the standards.

Thank you, come again!