WARNING! Due to raging alcoholism scientists agree that 99.999 of what I say/write is not appropriate for anyone.
If you are nursing, pregnant, under the age of nineteen, over the age of nineteen, are human, can be classified as not human, eat with your mouth, see with your eyes, or have/had any health problems you are at risk of the following side effects:
Nausea, heart burn, indigestion, upset stomach, spontaneous combustion, genetic mutations, infertility, and death.
In short, I write...as one would expect from someone registered as an author on this site. I read a lot of fan works, so don't be astonished if I leave a comment on yours, or -if I plan to come back to it later- add a story to my favourites. I will say it now, loud and proud, for it will never change: I AM A CRITICAL READER! Do not be offended if my comment seems cold or cruel, it's not my intention, I am simply a a very ... picky ... person in this sense. I apologize if anything I say sounds hurtful to you. If you have any questions or issues you would like to take up with me personally, than e-mail me. I'm under the impression that there is a link to do so above this rambling. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Naito
P.S. I have a life outside the Internet, so if updates take awhile, it's because I am busy.
Sorry for the inconvenience. I will update when I can!
Note: My favourites lists are actually not likely favourites. They are stories that I am evaluating for the Critic's Picks Community (Feel free to have a look). I say this because I don't want you to think I'm recommending them, it's more or less just a bookmark list. If you want to know what I truly recommend, visit the C2. You can also check my favourite authors list!
In the Works: Notices about stories that are to soon be posted/updated.
Nanny and the Ninjas: This fic is essentially the most retarded idea I have ever had and therefore, I should be shot and pissed on. Anyway, I will continue it shortly, but I want to revamp it a little first. The current chapters don't sit well with me. The writing doesn't anyway...
First Love, and Lost: Has been removed due to lack of interest and lack of willpower to continue it.
Invasion of The Mary-Sues: On Hiatus until further notice. I've kind of fallen out of the loop with this one, but I promise to force myself back in there soon.
Konoha Sellers: Not getting too many hits, but I'm still working on it. It's a story that just won't leave me. Chapter Five is finished and I will be posting it shortly (the next day or so. Sorry to the folks I've kept waiting, but life has been more than a little messed up for me. I was going to post it when I finished typing it out at three this afternoon, but I prefer to have a fair bit of the next chapter churned out before I post. Keeps the details straight. Anyway... soon.
Personal Revelation/Parallel: Both these titles are one shots and they happen to be connected, hence same spot here. PP just went up today, but PR went up a few days ago and it already has more hits than KS. Only two reviews though... Oh well.
Stats: Because you don't care...
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Blue/Grey/Green/Brown...etc...it depends on my mood
Height: 5'8" ish?...yeah, I'm tall
Weight: 142 pounds
Age: 19
Country: Canada
Employed: Yes, I am a Kitchen Wench on weekend evenings and a Sales Whore on weekdays.
Music: Everything
Instrument: Bass Guitar
Status: Single (Jacob is still my soul mate...and Jia is my wife)
Smoke: Yes, Benson & Hedges are the perferred but I occasionally change it up.
Drink: I love Vodka. Anyone who has read one of my fics may be aware of this.
Drugs: I must say, Don't do drugs...but I'm a hypocrite for I do smoke a fair amount of pot and plan to give acid a try. Done other stuff, but it wasn't my style.
Homophobia: Well, no. I've written same sex stories. In fact, I find homophobia a big turn off - I broken off a relationship because of it.
Preferred method of torture: Run on sentences that never seem to stop no matter how badly you want them to and for some reason I can't stop myself so I do it all the time and it's just my rambling, pointless style.
Writing style: Crack. I blame my alcoholism
Other: Stuff that changes all the time...
Reading: I've yet to grab the new book in that nasty series called "Private" I'd previously mentioned. Instead, I snagged Middlesex which, so far, has proven itself to be a superb recommendation. Thank you Ali.
Watching: A lot of Hell's Kitchen (I'm a big fan of Chef Ramsey. I love it when he gets angry...) and of course, Gokusen 3! Oh Yankumi, you slay me. If you'd like to suggest an anime, be my guest.
Comics: Storm-oriented stuff, plus "Young X-Men". I already have a favourite character. I think perhaps I have some sort of sand fetish...
Ideas in the works: I want to do a fic in which Sasuke cleans out his brother's room and... Well, I've put a lot of thought into it actually and am hoping to convince Jia to co-write this with me. Also still toying with High Times (production stalled as Jelly has chosen to stay at school all summer) and of course, eventually, Jia and I will write Operant conditioning.
Randomly in love with: Baba Yuji (He's here to stay), Trent Reznor, and Cort (Don't kill me Jia, but thanks to the new job, I have an excuse to lurk around his store all the time... and I take advantage of that.)
Side projects: Planning to tidy up my own fics (KS is full of typos, it's embarrassing really), catching up on all my beta work, and overhauling the disaster I call my bedroom.
If for whatever reason, you feel compelled to know more about me, don't be afraid to ask. I'm fairly open and honest. Also, don't be afeared (haha) to click my homepage link. It's my MSN Space, which is an eclectic mess, much like me.
Are you looking for a Beta Reader or Editor? Contact Me, I'll help you out even if I don't know the series. Please consider that I am already playing beta for other people, so if I don't supply an immediate answer or I say no, that's the reason.
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