You see, I’ve always had trouble defining my favorite holiday. It’s been a challenge of mine for years, really, but in a mere instant my eternal debate was over. Now, I enjoy Halloween and Christmas, of course, but you just can’t top Thanksgiving. You know why: Pumpkin Pie. I have a fondness, a true love actually, for pumpkin pie. It just touches my soul, even more than Will Farrell and Captain Sparrow, which is saying something. Even the simple thought of its ingratiating, brown goodness, with a hint of cinnamon makes my mouth water. This food, this delectable treat, satisfies my hunger beyond all other foods (besides chocolate and rice milk). Whenever Thanksgiving rolls around I begin to crave pumpkin pie; along with a side of whipped cream of course, because pumpkin pie is never complete without the dreamy, fluffy topping that truly is, whipped cream.
So if you love pumpkin pie, go eat some and think of me. Or better yet, bring me some.
However, on the other side of the spectrum, the axis of evil, if you will, sits math. Now I'm not smart at math. Never really was. You know I'll be sitting there, diligently with my pen and graph paper (cause lord forbid we have regular paper, since there is an abundance of it in my binder, but no, of course not, let's be difficult), urgently waiting for the lesson to begin.
And of course, I'm excited. It's math after all...oh joy. So as I'm sitting there as the teacher starts the review. At first, I pay attention, I copy down all her notes and little math movements and such, but slowly my writing becomes sloppier, and I start glancing at the clock waiting for lunch to begin. I mean, if you break it down and take the little flange of a tail off the four then it turns into a pizza. See, it all makes sense.
But no, I must remain focused. So I start straight ahead, trying to focus all my energy into math. Now, at first glance it looks as if I'm really focused. But after awhile, if you look really close, you'll realize that my eyes are indeed hardcore glazed over. As I watch the teacher do the problem, I stare at it, but don't comprehend a thing. It’s like when you’re reading a boring book and you keep flipping pages even though you haven't really read a thing. Then you start arguing with yourself that you haven't read anything and you should re-read that page but you hand just keeps moving, turning page after page.
Now, don't get me wrong, I feel myself start to loose focus. My pen will start to slow down, eventually resting, then just falling out of my hand and onto the floor. That's the first warning sign. But when I reach this point, I tell myself that I need to snap out of it. I have to pay attention. But while I'm arguing with myself why I should be paying attention, I'm defeating the purpose of actually paying attention. By the time I stop yelling at myself, naming off all the reasons why I should be paying attention to the review, the bell rings.
Damn.
So basically, that's all you really need to know about me. I LOVE Pumpkin Pie and you know where that leaves math, that's right; you guess it, The Axis of Evil. I also enjoy sitting on a cornflake, while I'm waiting for the van to come, in case you couldn't tell...