FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| Breck |
Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, and Lord of the Rings. Breck is too inexplicably uncomplicated to describe in so few words. Hailing from the snow-capped bagel joints of Ottawa, she is blessed with all the passion of a tumbleweed, all the whimsy of a potato sack. Those who know her admire her pleasantly blank expression and notably long attention span. She laughs rarely (approximately once every ten seconds) and only when incredibly moved (for instance, by a passing yellow Oldsmobile). It has been said of this enigmatic sprite, “Durn but summat gun’ tuk ‘er fer a boot.” Breck describes herself as “perishable, Babylonian, and mercifully ponderous”. Her hobbies include sinking merchant ships off the coast of Turkey and scattering rubber ducks among the flotsam, as well as tending to orphaned snowmobiles. She disapproves of fish. As for the future, Breck hopes to find work as a professional merchant of walnuts in Varanasi, or, failing that, as a model train conductor in the wild, untamed hills of Sheffield. She leaves us with this hastily composed and meaningless quote: “Do not give in to the desire to conform to the belief that we exist simply because we perceive our own thought... Many kings, masons and goldfish have failed to realize that we are but gaps in the ethereal mesh, which too, in time, must fall into the white-washed privies of the enlightened; indeed, in the gathering dark, none but the Thoughtful Mongoose shall remain.” | |||||||||
1. It can get pretty lonely, out there in the wild » reviewsA really stupid FOTR parody. Aragorn questioning his masculinity. Exceptionally irreverent. UPDATED! The Fellowship encounters a demon of the ancient world... Dun dun dun!Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,867 - Reviews: 69 - Updated: 9-4-04 - Published: 1-4-042. The Previously Untold Wanderings of Urwen Tanneth » reviewsAn account of Tanneth's previously forgotten role in the War of the Ring, and of her doomed love affair with a member of the Fellowship... (Want to see a 10th Walker story done right? Me too. Giving it my best shot...)Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,836 - Reviews: 42 - Updated: 8-13-04 - Published: 7-5-043. A Prezzie for Hooloovoo reviewsDedicated to hooloovoo, and any other fool who likes Legolas. Hooloovoo receives a most unexpected present for Lubamas! What could it be? Stars Piggy and Breck (as themselves). Wickedly random! Elf bashing! Woot!Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,276 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 7-5-044. LOTR Crew get schooled » reviewsThe guys from LOTR are at high school! A hideously overdone scenario, but making an admirable effort to be original. Full of drama and fun! BOROMIR CHAPTER IS UP! Hooray!Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - General/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,262 - Reviews: 40 - Updated: 6-24-04 - Published: 5-25-045. Harry Potter and TO BE ANNOUNCED » reviewsI couldn't wait for book 6, so I'sums decided to write me own. NEW: Harry arrives at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes for the summer; he and Ron worry about getting into Potions. (WARNING: Spoilers galore!)Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/General - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,600 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 6-23-04 - Published: 1-3-04
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