Burningbridges
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since: 01-31-04, id: 531361, Profile Updated: 10-02-10
country: USA
Author has written 30 stories for Harry Potter, Final Fantasy VIII, Resident Evil, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Naruto, Superjail!, and Batman.

Hi, the name's Vee (short for Vera). Obviously, you know me as Burning Bridges.

I live on top of a mountain in Northeast Pennsylvania, a place that I like to write about a lot where they play country music on almost every radio station (my favorite station is half country). It’s a nice place, but almost like a rural ghetto. The gated community I live in is no better – it’s basically the epicenter of all crime in my town – although it’s not so much a town as a bunch of lake communities in the middle of woods. I feel semi-safe living here, though… In the county right beneath mine the police recently found eight bags of human body parts, including a head, next to a highway.

I’m originally from New Jersey; I moved up here when I was 2 ½. I spent most of my time as a kid in New Jersey, though, so I grew up predominantly listening to country and rock (although I love all the genres of music, something most people can’t say) and being in close proximity to farms. Yes, it’s a very rural area – the lakeside community I lived in down there was originally farmland. And no, not all rural people are stupid. Just because my favorite movie is a western (“Once Upon a Time in the West”, it’s a really good movie – not exactly like other westerns – and most people would probably love it if they watched it) and at one point I was a stereotypical cowgirl-type (I worked on a ranch, I like rodeos…), I am not uneducated or, by any means, a redneck. Then again, Pennsylvanians and New Yorkers seem to have some problem with people from New Jersey – for your information, dumbasses, only the rednecks of New Jersey have mullets and all the “douchebags” you’re always talking about are from the crime-infested cities down below – your retarded observations do not apply to the whole state, so get your facts straight or shut the fuck up! If you’re not one of the Pennsylvanians/New Yorkers that talks shit about New Jersey, then I didn’t mean to offend you – I’m really sick of hearing people make fun of us based on select groups of people within the state. That would be like saying everyone in New York is a complete asshole, and everyone in Pennsylvania is an inbred redneck – see what I mean?

If you’re looking at my icon and wondering what exactly that is… It’s a very small version of a digital painting I did about a year ago (which I still need to post on my DeviantArt…), portraying my pen name – a bridge that’s on fire, with a city backdrop. I’ve only ever been in a city two times (for a few hours), so it’s sort of a bad backdrop. Honestly, I’m not a city person. I much prefer my small hometown and the farmlands that I grew up near… Although that town is somewhat city-like… My hometown is full of classy country people. Where I live now is full of rednecks and “gangstas”. No wonder I’m so out of place here... And if you want to know what sort of rednecks there are here (why you would, I don’t know) a great example is a commercial where two local car dealers are screaming ‘Shake and Bake!’ at each other. At least the few rednecks in my family are more normal than that… And they don’t commit crimes like the other ones up here.

To start this section of my bio, let me quote Rodolfo's words to Lucia (Mimi) in Puccini's famous and well-loved opera La Boheme (in English, 'cause I have a hard time understanding the Italian one), a quote I can totally relate to - "Let me tell you in a few words who I am and what I do and how I live. Who am I? I'm a poet. What do I do? I write. And how do I live? I live!" ... Ah, I love that song!

I am something of a self-proclaimed crazy person (not a psycho, there is a difference) - which you may find to be good or bad, but all I know is my friends wouldn’t have it any other way. And I’m the most normal person in this generation of my family, for that matter… Anyway, you get used to it; I’m actually pretty sane if you give me a chance. But I can’t say the same for my fics… Which have been confirmed to be extremely weird, but entertaining.

I mostly only write Resident Evil fics, RE being my absolute favorite thing in the whole world since I was about 11. I first got into RE thanks to my mom’s friend… The same one who gave me the only car I’ve ever owned, and made weird jokes about the grandfather clock in the first game having a time bomb in it. Thanks to him, I’m completely obsessed with RE… And for whatever weird-ass reason, Nemesis and Plant 42 especially… Is it remotely possible to think a hideous monster and a killer plant are cool? My best friend is convinced that I find them sexy. How would I find a plant sexy?

Then again, she tried to tell me that if I thought Penguin from Batman (my favorite comic/superhero) is cool, there must be something sexy about him…

Jim Henson and Frank Oz come running into the room, dressed as Batman and Robin.

Uh, yeah… And if you don’t know this already, I’m also obsessed with Jim Henson (creator of The Muppets) and Frank Oz (creator of Sesame Street). Anyway, as I was saying…

My RE fics are usually humor/parody, and that seems to work well for me. Things that I randomly come up with when I’m writing them apparently make some of my readers die laughing. Maybe I was born to be a stand-up comic…

My serious stories are usually very sad. Which is why I don’t write them a lot, because they make me sad. Actually, I’ve only written one completely serious story – although it is a little funny during some parts…

I have three writing partners, Nonliving-Nightmare, whom I hope to continue writing with after we finally finish our story “RE4: Crazy Doesn’t Begin to Describe It”… I’ve had a lot of fun working on that story so far! And soon it’ll be a series… Plus, you should go read his stories - they're very good, and deserve more recognition, because he's a really great writer. So, read them or die! ... Just kidding, but seriously, go read them.

And Alaska Kennedy, who I'm presently writing "Restaurant Evil" with. That story is very weird, but comical, and I’m really enjoying it. Plus, it has a lot of room for me to write about really disgusting and freaky people! And AK is a pretty cool person - you should get to know her!

And last, but not least, HospitalHorror, who asked to help me write "Resident Pancake Head". That is one seriously bizarre story, and now that I have a co-writer for it, it'll probably became more bizarre! (Gasp) ... Can't... handle... bizzarreness... Actually, that story became way more popular than I originally anticipated. When I first thought of it, I almost never began writing it, but I'm glad I did. And people really seem to like me as the evil Narrator - another unexpected turn for the better.

My favorite of the RE games is RE3: Nemesis (there’s something about it that still gives me the creeps…). My favorite characters are all from that game, ironically. I like every single character in the series (yes, all of them – even wimpy-ass Brad) and monster (except maybe those “Hall Monitor” things from around the power room in 1… Well, maybe I do like them, after all), but to narrow it down:

Male: Nicholai (I have a crush on him… and Wesker… And Leon, a little bit – thanks to “RE4: Crazy Doesn’t Begin to Describe It”, I think of him as a father-figure now…)

Female: Jill (She’s such a normal person, and yet so badass)

Minor Character: Dario (He was only in the game for, like, 20 seconds, but he makes me laugh, and reminds me of Super Mario)

Monster: Nemesis (Yay, Nemmy! I would actually hug him, if I knew that he wouldn’t kill me)

I’m an extremely dedicated RE fan – and if you don’t believe me, I should tell you that I’m working on buying a couple different platforms right now – just to play RE. I’m also building a collection of every version of the canonical games ever made. Crazy, yes. Devoted, tremendously. A little loose with money… Not really; I’m normally overly thrifty so every once in a while I spend a lot just to balance everything out. Another of my ambitions is to own every movie ever made of Hamlet. Love that play.

And, you might be wondering why my name is “Burning Bridges”… I actually took it from chapter 14 of Spider-Man 2 for PS2. I love Spider-Man, and yet I never post anything about it… Or Harry Potter, and I love that, too…

Suddenly, Augra, from Jim Henson's The Dark Crystal, runs in, followed by Brad Vickers. "The Great Conjunction is the END OF THE WORLD!”

“… Or the beginning,” adds Brad.

Get off my profile, Augra! … And Brad!

Jim Henson and Frank Oz get into safari clothes and go after Augra with guns. Brad just stands there, staring at me.

Brad, did you know there was a merchant named Vickers that gave a whole town the black plague?

“The black plague? I have the black plague?! AAAHHH!” He starts running around, screaming.

I have a weird, weird profile. Uh oh…

Jill suddenly throws the door open, ignoring the sound of it colliding with the hysterical Brad and knocking him on the floor. “You didn’t mention it.”

What? Oh, oh. Right. I have a small RE website now, mostly just illustrations, fan art and links to my fics at the moment – it’s a work in progress… Err, why do you care?

“Because I’m on the banner.”

Ah, yes – the blurry banner. I need a different picture for that…

“Visit http://thedeadfactory.bravehost.com/. Seriously.” Jill attempts to look threatening.

If you have spare time (not to mention it's dead right now and must be revived). Huh? Now what??

Ada comes in, from where, no one knows – she just sort of appeared. “You stole my hairstyle!”

Uh, no, I didn’t! Although I do think your hair is pretty… Anyway, I didn’t steal your hairstyle. I had to let my hair grow out so I could get it done in a longer, less tomboy-ish punk style. It just ended up this way.

“Yeah, sure.”

Suddenly, I look in the mirror and notice my hair's grown down to my shoulder blades (no, I don't live under a rock, I'm a busy person). HA! You can't say I stole your hairstyle anymore! It's too long now! So now I look more like...

"Me, you vile dog," Alexia says regally, entering the room.

Uh, no, not even close.

"How about me?" Claire asks, coming in after Alexia.

Again, no.

"you're both wrong - it looks like mine!" Saddler exclaims, as he begins running a hand through his very eerie hair.

No way! What the hell are you people talking about?! Get the fuck off my profile now!

... Not another one! How are all these people getting in here??

Dario comes in, loudly humming the Super Mario Brothers theme. “Try defending yourself from a pack of hungry zombies in a overcrowded warehouse. Try Vitamin Water. Try it!”

He grabs my stash of Vitamin Water and jumps, landing on a walking toadstool that appeared out of nowhere and goes headfirst through the ceiling.

Oh, he is so going to get hurt in my stories…

Brad sits up and looks questioningly at the hole in the ceiling. “Was that Superman?”

“I can’t stand this indecision, married with a lack of vision. Everybody wants to rule the world.” - Tears for Fears

“Lines ever more unclear. Not sure I’m even here. The more I look, the more I think that I’m starting to disappear.” -Keane

“It’s the perfect time of year, somewhere far away from here. I feel fine enough, I guess, considering everything’s a mess.” - The Barenaked Ladies

“Music grows in the rose, rockin’ rain and the blowin’ snowstorm. Everything seems to sing, everywhere I go.” - Jim Henson's Fraggle Rock

“And in my heart I can’t contain it. The anthem won’t explain it.” - My Chemical Romance

“… And until then, I wake up in teardrops that fall down like rain.” - Rascal Flatts

"What is this attraction? I only feel the pain... I've come to find, I may never know. Your changing mind is it friend or foe? I rise above or sink below with every time you come and go. Please don't come and go. 'Cause I am barely breathing and I can't find the air. Don't know who I'm kidding imagining you care. And I could stand here waiting a fool for another day. I don't suppose it's worth the price, you're worth the price, the price that I would pay. But I'm thinking it over anyway..." - Duncan Shiek (I've always loved that song)

“I don’t know if you hear me there, but it’s dark so no one cares. I will hear you forever. I wanted you to be everything to me… And I know I cannot hide this emptiness inside… Sing me songs that echo in my head and in my heart, that’s where you are.” - Vertical Horizon

"I give you my love, but you don't care. So what is right and what is wrong? Gimme a sign. What is love?" - Haddaway

"The tick tock of the clock is painful. All sane and logical. I want to tear it off the wall. I hear words and clips and phrases. I think sick like ginger ale. My stomach turns and I exhale. I would swallow my pride, I would choke on the rines, but the lack thereof would leave me empty inside. I would swallow my doubt, turn it inside out, find nothin' but faith in nothing. Wanna pull my tender heart in a blender. Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion..." - Eve6

“Wouldn't it be good to be in your shoes, even if it was for just one day?... Wouldn't it be good to be on your side? The grass is always greener over there. Wouldn't it be good if we could live without a care? You must be joking, you don't know a thing about it… I got it harder, you couldn't dream how hard I got it. Stay out of my shoes if you know what's good for you.” - Nik Kershaw

“Well you were high when I met you. Now you've fallen like a leaf from a tree - Water rains into the sea - and every time the world goes round, you're getting closer to the ground. Air traffic control, I've been gone, I've been up away from home. Now my gear is down, I'm circling round and I am coming in, running out of oxygen. And my fuel is running low. Runway lights, where do I go? I'm looking down but they don't show.” - Louis XIV (that song is like a metaphor for my life right now)

“No, I can’t stop loving you. No, I won’t stop loving you. Why should I even try?” - Phil Collins

“Cruelty has a human heart, every man must play his part.” - Iron Maiden

“What would it take to make you see that I’m alive?” - Clay Aiken

"Round and round, what comes around goes around." - Ratt

“When you feel your heart is breaking, hold on tight to your dream.” - ELO

“It’s time to taste what you most fear.

Right Guard will not help you here.

Brace yourself, my dear…”

- The Dead Kennedys


1. The Substitutes » reviews
Ever wonder what would happen if RE characters were substituting for your school teachers? Just try to picture it. Yeah, didn't think you could.
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 34 - Words: 75,099 - Reviews: 189 - Updated: 4-23-11 - Published: 7-8-06
2. Desperately Seeking Scarecrow » reviews
A few days after the events of Batman Begins, Dr. Crane is wandering around the city when he meets a crying girl who offers to help him, and, in turn, he decides to "help" her. Together they embark on a strange, semi-drug-induced, semi-musical adventure.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,762 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 10-30-10 - Published: 2-2-08
3. Admiral of My Ass » reviews
Weird title... A young woman named Val accidentally ends up at Superjail, and for some reason, the Warden "takes her in" and forces her to work for him as a Human Resources person. Watch as Val tries to get out of a virtually inescapeable prison.
Superjail! - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,440 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 10-30-10 - Published: 1-24-09
4. Black Hole Sun » reviews
Dark comedy. Joker, Harley Quinn, Two-Face and Scarecrow join forces and go on an excursion into the woods to find the last of what they need to put their plan in action. just to end up trapped in a mansion belonging to a group of psychotic murderers.
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,385 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10-23-10
5. Twas That Night B4 Christmas reviews
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Superjail, not a creature was stirring, not even a possible she-male...
Superjail! - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,043 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1-24-09 - Complete
6. Hides in Crazy » reviews
A girl finds herself stuck in the Naruto-verse, suddenly the sensei to a rogue team of ninja. Already confused by her problem back home, she's now a mentor to teens, the love interest of someone really obnoxious and the target of evil. Will she get home?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,325 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 5-31-08 - Published: 4-5-08
7. Resident Pancake Head » reviews
RE: Extincntion parody. A story for those who love and hate Alice, about how her friends try to kill her and she becomes a pancake head. Weird situations, people dying, and a heartless narrator that torments the characters. What could go wrong?
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,931 - Reviews: 45 - Updated: 3-15-08 - Published: 9-29-07
8. Letters From Spain » reviews
An RE 4 parody. The true story of what happened to Ashley in Spain… Leon, a complete dork with issues, the two Spanish cops, gay as ever, the Merchant, not just a weirdo anymore, and Saddler, an unsuccessful magician – in love?
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,053 - Reviews: 54 - Updated: 2-16-08 - Published: 6-9-07
9. The Class and the Sandwich » reviews
RE1 parody. A teacher and five students take a field trip and end up in Spencer Mansion, not knowing that the whole place is full of monsters. Will the STARS be able to keep these six idiots alive? Probably not.
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,028 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 12-15-07 - Published: 7-23-07
10. Retarded Horror Revue » reviews
A parody of horror movies just in time for Halloween! Wesker decides to throw a party where he'll kill everyone who's trying to stop him from his ultimate goal...
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,346 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 10-20-07 - Published: 10-28-06
11. RE 4: Crazy Doesn't Begin to Describe It » reviews
Cowritten with NonlivingNightmare. What would you do if you got stuck in a videogame with someone you barely knew? And the plot changes... Oh, the plot changes!
Resident Evil - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 55,926 - Reviews: 57 - Updated: 8-18-07 - Published: 7-22-06
12. Facet of Your Personality » reviews
Ever wonder what goes on in the mind of a zombie? A zombie, with the intelligence of a living person explores the city shortly after he dies, trying to adapt to being dead and looking for his friends and family... Takes place during RE3.
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,366 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 8-18-07 - Published: 6-17-06
13. Say Ahh, Please » reviews
Barry wakes up one morning to find himself wrongfully admitted to a psychiatric ward that doesn't seem on the up and up. But to his surprise, he's not alone.
Resident Evil - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,775 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5-23-07 - Published: 9-9-06
14. Swamp Tour Around the Pond 2: Frog in the Machine reviews
Nicholai, Carlos and Mikhail once again find themselves doing a nature tour. But this time, it takes an unexpected paranormal turn for the worse.
Resident Evil - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,031 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-7-07
15. Fabric of Reality » reviews
You're all familiar with the 'person gets stuck in a game' plot… But what if it happened to Chris and the other characters of RE? Join us as they adventure into Conker's Bad Fur Day.
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,463 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-10-07 - Published: 12-2-06
16. War to End All Wars » reviews
What happens when a new war breaks out after Conker becomes king, and France gets caught right in the middle of it?
Conker's Bad Fur Day - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,143 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-13-07 - Published: 1-6-07
17. The Tale of Two Pueblos reviews
The story how Pueblo became crazy... Serious version, and nonserious version.
Resident Evil - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,596 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-19-06
18. Nemesis: Runway Model reviews
Nemesis in a fashion show? Los Illuminados with a TV channel? The world must be ending.
Resident Evil - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,833 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-5-06 - Complete
19. PeeWee's Birthday reviews
The incredibly odd tale of Leon, Brad and Wesker going to PeeWee Herman's playhouse
Resident Evil - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,159 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 7-22-06 - Complete
20. Swamp Tour Around the Pond reviews
Welcome to Umbrella Biohazard Countermeasure Service's Nature Tour... That's all that needs to be said.
Resident Evil - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,234 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-24-06 - Complete
21. Nemesis and the StumpJumpers of Incest City reviews
A nightmare I had two years ago, about Nemesis paying my town and a neighboring valley town, a visit.
Resident Evil - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,049 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-24-06 - Complete
22. Fangirls reviews
A little chat about Nicholai's fangirls... Oh, jeez...
Resident Evil - Rated: K - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,273 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6-24-06 - Complete
23. Spire » reviews
Seifer's thoughts on his 'new lease on life'. What he thinks of those around him, where he is now, relationships... wink,wink
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,895 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-17-06 - Published: 6-10-06 - Seifer A. & Squall L.
24. The Making of a Music Video » reviews
Squall gets called up to Headmaster Cid's office to find Seifer and his crew. No one knows exactly what's going on, Seifer's acting odd, and Cid talks everyone into helping a somewhat eccentric girl from the other side of the world create a music video to
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,875 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 6-17-06 - Published: 5-6-06 - Squall L. & Seifer A. - Complete
25. The Cynical Jackasses Heard It Oldschool
Squall and Seifer set out to destroy Ultimecia once and for all, so what happens when they end up in time compression now?
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 521 - Published: 6-10-06 - Seifer A. & Squall L.
26. The Reason Why Nicholai Can't Win reviews
Do you ever wonder why Nicholai Resident Evil 3:Nemesis, RE: Apocalypse dies all the time?
Resident Evil - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,155 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 6-10-06 - Complete
27. Author's Note: Never Say That Again reviews
Wha would happen if everyone got new jobs? Adel delievers pizzas, Fujin is a speech therapist, Squall's an exterminator...
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-3-06
28. I Fancy A Bank Fight
President Deling makes a bet with Adel that she can't get in bed with Seifer before his secret service agent...
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Published: 5-10-06
29. I Fancy A Night Out reviews
Ultimecia gets drunk, President Deling's hair gets burnt off, Raijin grills fish, blind cannibals are involved... Story one in my new series.
Final Fantasy VIII - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 800 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-10-06
30. The Roof Above Us »
Severus Snape's niece is transferred to Hogwarts shortly before a rash of strange happenings begins, and all clues point to Greyhawk, the mysterious neice in question.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,411 - Published: 7-31-04 - Harry P. & Severus S.