Right…so um, I realized that my profile looked very lonely and empty and just generally unpleasant. So while I’m attempting to move past my sort-of writer’s block (caused by Bullseye, of course) I’ve decided to make myself a little profile that will hopefully inform you about…me. Like you really want to know…

My name is Katie. As you can probably tell. People call me Rowan…it’s a very random nickname, don’t ask.

I’m 15, and I can somehow pull off being gansta, nerdy, and a catholic schoolgirl at the same time. I know, I’m talented, for true. I’m also Canadian, and extremely proud of it.

A thing that people usually find out about me within a couple days is that, no matter how hard I try, I can never be anything but obsessive with things I like. I either hate things, or love them and know every single little thing about it, period. My whole personality is rather radical, and people around me are exposed to my horrible mood swings. But poo to them.

In all, I’m a very weird person, but there are some things you can rely on me for.

1. If I don’t know the answer to a question, I’m still guaranteed to give you a complicated and generally bull-shitted answer back. I’m good like that.

2. If I threaten to bite you, I will, make no mistake.

3. I’m a big, fat, walking contradiction. I wear black with rainbow gloves, I own two schoolbags. One has a CSI theme and the other is all ladybugs.

4. When I’m being confident, I’m acting. I rock at acting. The real me would rather hide away in my room and read wikipedia articles all day.

5. Purple kicks ass, is a statement I readily support.

Other than that…I regularly surprise people. It’s fun, I like it.

I’m not sure what I want to do with my life. I like writing, I would love to write as a career, but I doubt I’m good enough and I can never finish a goddamned story. I tell people I want to be a forensic anthropologist, but I’m still not sure I can handle all the dead people.

However, before I die. And I’m convinced I will die young. I have five goals. Here they are, in no particular order.

1. I want to go to stripper school. For the sole purpose of learning how to dance around stage in five inch heels. Being 4’11” myself, I feel this is a skill worth knowing.

2. I want to watch a pot boil, because who says a watched pot never boils, eh? EHHHH?

3. I want to find a pair of purple go-go boots while travelling. Glitter is preferred, but not necessary.

4. I want to run away to New York, meet some kind bohemians and then live with them in a flat on the Lower East Side. Then I can meet Idina Menzel, and die a very very happy girl. One can only hope, anyway.

5. I need to find out if Julie Atherton has an English accent. Please, it’s killing me on the inside. I know it’s logical that she would have one, since she was born there and all. But just one interview with her talking in a non-Kate Monster voice. That’s all I ask.

Well, that’s all I can think of for now. I’m currently trying to complete my RENT and Wicked stories. Because I have formally accepted that showtunes are not only for gay men, and in reality they are the only true form of musical genius.

Peace homedawgs.