Stopping all horrible fan fictions. One post at a time.

Oh yes, I finally wrote a fan fiction that you can throw pathetic flames at! Yippie!

Sorry story is taking so long, will update in a week. (hopefully)

Hate Mail!

Here's the latest addition to my hate mail reportoire. It comes complete with a little commentary of my own.

I know you had been examining this fic for ages to make it perfect but too bad,(Change the period into a comma and leave the rest as a stand alone sentence.) I found some flaws.(As have I, Genius. Actually, I wrote it, reread it once, and then posted it. I’ve read it a few times since and have consciously left in the few errors I’ve found. Why? It’s because I don’t care.) And note, I read only chapter 1 ‘coz this whole thing isn’t so funny and it didn’t get my interest. (Wait, you commented on MY verb tense agreement?) Kid, ‘an’ is used for words which start on vowels and ‘a’ is for those ones that start on consonants. Do you understand that(insert comma here) kid? Oh, I bet that if the others decide to check it out, their already correct, since you would correct your grammatical errors just after you read this hate note (er… review, I guess) ‘coz you’re too ashamed of yourself! (run-on)

“Through the cut out that the cheapskate Cornerians called a handle, I was able to see the ‘most cruel’ of my tortures for the trip, ‘a emblem’ featuring General Pepper’s face.”
~ it was supposed to be ‘an emblem’, and ‘most cruel' must be changed to cruelest. (This one, I’m dubious about. I do believe, that cruelest and most cruel are interchangable in the case.)

“All of one step later my ankle turned to rubber causing ‘a unexpected’ and entirely painful tumble to the ground.”
~ it was supposed to be ‘an unexpected’.

“I realize the ridiculousness of the hybrid but there was no other way to describe him.”
~ since you had been writing in past tense, it must be ‘realized’. (While I’m at it, you’re wrong because he’s thinking, in the present, about something that happened in the past.)

And hey, it is goodbye, not ‘good bye’. It is hellhole, not ‘hell hole’.(misplaced period) And obviously, It’s unfortunately, not ‘unfortunatly’, you oxymoron! (That was priceless.) (Weren’t you ever taught that you aren't supposed to begin a sentence with, “And?”)

Actually, I’m just 14 years(insert hyphen here)old but I consider you a kid because you’re so immature and you lack respect. And you’re leading this so-called ‘Allies Group’?(You mean the Author’s Alliance, of which, I was a hardly active member of?) (Wow, what a name! Haha!) I pity those dogs of yours because their leader is a piece of junk and what’s worse, he’s so illiterate. (You went through my entire fiction to find a measly four or five minor errors. Meanwhile, you make countless in your own review. What isn’t all that funny, is that I’m not their leader. Though I was the first to begin my, “crusade,” as so many have labeled it. What IS funny, is that you’ve damned yourself into being a raging hypocrite.)

Isn’t that dictionary you’re holding too heavy? I’m just wondering… But of course, I understand. Uneducated guys like you need those. isn’t for illiterates like you, you dumbass! Now (insert comma here) kiddo, go back to your mommy and suck her fucking asshole!(You seem to be losing your cool, kiddo; and I haven’t even replied yet.)

I’m a friend of yunarinoa07(insert comma here) so don’t you ever mess up with her fics again… Like what you just did ! ( First, you used the ellipses as a dramatic pause between complete sentences, now, you use it like a comma and still mess it up. I’d have not said a word had you, at least, kept it consistent.) Reporting a fic to the admin without any reason is just a work of damn morons! (Good one!)

A friendly reminder: Don’t work too hard on those drafts of your reviews ‘coz staring at the screen of your computer for a very long time is bad for your eyes… In fact, I really want to tell more lectures to you,(You can GIVE lectures but not tell them.) but unfortunately, ignorant guys like you won’t be able to cope up with me…(Considering you seem to know the language so much better than I, I don’t think I can, “cope up,” either.)

Have a nice day! Ciao!

U know Ferrix of Fanfiction.com, u talk a lotta shyt for somebody who has no stories! I mean none! Why don't u write a fanfic so we can laugh at ur dumb shyt. Ur review to my story meant nuttin to me,b/c everybody else look past the punctuation errors since it was my first fanfic and agree its a good story. But u dont see that do u, u little bitch? Prove me wrong wit a fanfic u @#$ - Nate Dogg

I'm so glad he wrote this to me. I really enjoy people who recognize my work! Your going on my favorite authors Nate!

I don't care what you think about my fic but if you have nothing nice to say about my fic then don't say anything. True my writing skills are not that great but I am proud of my fics and I am working to improve them. I find no joy in writing this mail but enough is enough, no one likes having someone to leave a nasty review like that. When you put a story out I will find a reason to flame it. I don't care how you feel about other fanfiction but I do not like it when people bash other writers when they are trying to write a good story. So lay off and don't ever review my fic's again. In fact I want the review you left me to be removed at once. I am usually a nice guy but you have pushed me to my limits. I repeat don't ever review my fics again.

Have a nice day.-cloudhavoc1228@aol.com

Thank you! I will have a nice day! I love it when people show me common courtesy! Unfortunately, I have no idea who you are from the E-mail address, I guess I can't remove my review.

"Alex Warlorn from fanfiction.net here, I have to say, while what Nate
Dogg said WAS over the line, he DOES make a good point, you DON'T have
any fanfictions on your account, unless you can prove that you can
write as well as you review then people will not take you seriously."-Alex Warlorn.

Thank you, I'm glad I got a mail from someone I didn't submit a review to. It really makes me happy that I'm so well known now. Unfortunatly for you, though, I certainly do think people take me seriously. They usually just see my name, bow down to me as their god, and take my words as the one and only truth. Thanks anyway.

"Please under stand that your review to Alternate Earth is currently
being laughed at. You are comparing a fourteen-year-olds' work to
that of Tolken. It is because Tolken has spent his entire life
writing books that his work is so much better then Rachel's is. You
also bluntly state that I read porn scat. I do not read porn scat
because I am thirteen and I'd like to keep what little innocence I
have left. I read at least 5 NOVELS a year. (My record is twenty-
nine.) I have read Tolken's books, I have read Ray Bradburry's book,
Something Wicked This Way Comes(all of which, might I add, RULE over
A.E.). I will not be so idiotic as the person who sent you this hate
mail.
I quote;
"U know Ferrix of Fanfiction.com, u talk a lotta shyt for somebody
who has no stories! I mean none! Why don't u write a fanfic so we can
laugh at ur dumb shyt. Ur review to my story meant nuttin to me,b/c
everybody else look past the punctuation errors since it was my first
fanfic and agree its a good story. But u dont see that do u, u little
bitch? Prove me wrong wit a fanfic u @#$ - Nate Dogg"

But, this, "Nate Dogg" person, although he stepped over the line of
common courtesy and into the boundaries of stupidity he does have a
point. It is stupid and immature to submit a flame to anyone for
any reason. If, IF, you can point out the bad parts of A.E. then
PERHAPS your review MIGHT do some good. If your looking for a fic to
flame, try someone who copies someone else's idea. Or try to write a
fanfic of your own for once. This is not hate mail, I am simply
pointing out that you should not completely diss someone else's work.
I read the first chapter of Nate Dogg's work, and I admit, it needs a
lot of work but so does everyone's work when they just start out.
Take my FF fanfic that I am currently writing for example;

Mira is a normal 16-year-old Hakahashi High Student.
She has a normal life, normal friends, a normal school, hell,
everything for her was normal until
one day when she was heading to her class with her friend Okie.

The elevator music was playing softly in the background as the
slightly humming elevator made it's way to the top floor of Hakahashi
High. Two young girls in their teens stood quietly in the elevator,
waiting for it to go through all 23 floors above ground to the top
floor where their classroom was. One of the two stood half-sitting
half-leaning on one of the handle bars on the side of the elevator.
She had shoulder length red hair that seemed to be trying to go
everywhere at once. She had it tamed slightly with a faded orange
bandana. She ha blue-grey eyes & was wearing blue jeans & a black
frosted shirt with a hot pink flower in the middle. The other one was
about three inches taller. She had blonde hair about the same length
as her friends & blueish green eyes. She was also wearing blue jeans
but her shirt was an olive green with a black dragon on it. She stood
in the middle of the elevator watching the bright red number slowly
rise. "Eleven, 12, 13, 14 . . ." This had ben going on in her head
for quite some time. "It's too quiet." The red head decided, and she
began to speak.

"Hey Mira, did you hear? They found another black hole."

The blonde one, apparently named Mira, jumped at the disturbance but
she still managed a shaky reply. "Really? I had thought they had
found them all! How did they find this one? 'Nuther ship get sucked
in?"

"Nah, some astronomer or sumthin' found it." The red head replied
dryly.

"Ya know I always wondered what's in the black holes, haven't you
Okie?" Mira asked dreamily.

"Dunno don' care. Hey, lets check the newspaper when we get to the
top 'k?" Okie asked, sounding quite bored.
/

That is my newest draft of the first part of chapter one but when
I started this was all I had;

Mira is a normal 16-year-old Hakahashi High Student.
She has a normal life, normal friends, a normal school, hell,
everything for her was normal until
one day when she was heading to her class with her friend Okie.

They were in an elevator talking on that fateful day.

"Hey Mira, did you hear? They found another black hole!"

"Really? I had thought they had found them all! How did they find
this one? ‘Nuther ship get
sucked in?"

"Nope, some astronomer found it."

"Ya know I always wondered what's in the black holes, haven't you
Okie?"

"Dunno don' care. Hey, lets check the newspaper when we get to the
top!"

The first draft, I wrote around August last year. I wrote the third
draft (the first one listed) mid April, this year(duh). When I look
back to my first version I am appalled and shocked that I wrote
something this bad. It was because of the more positive &
constructive critique that I got that it improved so much. Not
because some idiot decided to flame me. If you review someone
(especially if they are young or just started to write), please have
chivalry, or common courtesy at least. Don't tell them to take it
down, tell them to fix it. And look at the plot line as well, not
just the grammar. Thank you.

Signed,

Nyacha(Oneself)
"My honer is my life & I have no honor so I have no life so will
someone PLEASE just stick a dagger in my back allready?"--Hype

"If you have no life, does that mean you can't die?"--Ryuka

"Life is like a digital camera. You're continually being watched,
recorded & processed to memory by everyone who sees you."--Nyacha(Oneself),
Myself.

"Well Skittles are fruity & M&Ms are chocolate-y." "But they look
exactly the same!" "I know, it's a conspiracy"--Sango & Kagome from "why the
male characters fear Rin" by Scorpiogal.
Start the revolution with Utena Mail!"

Wow, this person sure likes to talk, too bad it isn't about anything useful. First off, she apparently didn't read my review, nor look at its context. My review was comparing her fan fiction to Tolkien's writings because you said her fan fiction had the best chapter out all fan fictions and of most books, which is blasphemy, on top of being blatantly stupid and ignorant. Second off, how can you say this is not hate mail when you post "To; Ferrix the Stupid, immature & arrogant." Wow, THAT'S NOT HATE MAIL, REALLY! Now, to review the fan fiction you sent me.

"Two young girls in their teens stood quietly in the elevator, waiting for it to go through all 23 floors above ground to the top floor where their classroom was."

I must say, the last time I heard the same word used so many times in one sentence, or whatever you call this thing, I was reading papers for my Mom’s friend, a kindergarten teacher. I can't believe this is a THIRD DRAFT. My cat could write better in an outline. At first I thought all these writers just simply didn't go over their fan fictions, now I know they just, outright, can't read.

" “Hey Mira, did you hear? They found another black hole.”

The blonde one, apparently named Mira, jumped at the disturbance but
she still managed a shaky reply."

I thought the girl was talking to a WALL named Mira, but I was wrong, thanks for clarifying that the GIRL was, in fact, named Mira. By the way, since the narrator of the story already showed the properties of a third person, omniscient, point-of-view by reading the girl’s thoughts, you should probably stick to it. Instead of doing that, something deep down in that simplistic mind of yours possessed you to write the useless line of text, “...apparently named Mira...”.

As for your plot line there simply isn’t much to say about it besides that is non-existent. Two girls ride up an elevator and talk about a black hole. Thrilling. Thanks for the advice about looking at the plot line. I now realize that you have no plot line either.

Why did you send this to me? To show what “revision” can do to a shitty story? Obviously nothing, or maybe to torture me, who cares.

I wrote a stroy yo. :hoohark hoohark:

To Ferrix

I would just like to say one thing to you, and that is: you are a stupid, stuck-up, bratish, arrogant, annoying little retard trying to make himself feel big by dissing other peoples work because he can't write his own proper fanfiction. Shame on you. I may not be the best fanfiction writer around. I would never claim to be, but at least I can say that I have never intentionally left a flame.

You know, having opinions is all well and good, free country and all that. Even if your opinion IS 'OMG this ficcy sucks soo bad u suck'. But you don't need to write a scathing and hurtful review telling the writer so. If you don't like a story, just leave it and don't write anything. Sometimes not getting a review can be more hurtful than getting flames. There's such a thing as CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, you jerk! What you wrote to AN3 for example was just criticism, pure and simple. And for your information, I was a 'complete retard who was actually requested to be in that psyche destroying, mangled mass of words', and so not only are you insulting AN3, her story-writing abilities and her reviewers, but you are also personally insulting people all with one review! How mean can you be? Seriously? I may only be thirteen, but if I want to read even slight randomness, I will and you are no-one to say that it is wrong! It is none of your business and it is not up to you to say which stories are good and which are 'crap'. You are outnumbered on this one; hundreds of people are enjoying Alternate Earth immensely, who do you think you are, anyway? Besides, for someone who tries so had to come off as an intellectual in you review, you use the word 'crap' a lot. Surely someone with a vocabulary as large as you try and make out could have come up with something better, hmm?

There's a saying I thing you would do well to take into account. It may sound cheesy, but considering that the majority of FF.net HATES YOU WITH A VENGEANCE I think you could do with realizing how may people you are upsetting, and think about this next time you don't like a story.

"If you can't say anything nice (or constructive), don't say anything at all."

I'm ending here, but I hope you'll take what I've said into account. Unfortunately, from what I have seen of your reviews and bio, there are no redeeming qualities about you whatsoever.

Think about it.

CloudRox1

-I commend this hate mailist for her/his far superior abilities of writing compared to the everyday fan fictionalist (my own coined word for you dictionary nazi's.) Her sentences are overall intelligible. What an improvement! Unfortunatly, she makes sure to show off her pathetic fan fiction background with this sentence.
"Besides, for someone who tries so had to come off as an intellectual in you review, you use the word 'crap' a lot."
In fan fiction protocol you must, in fact, wait until you come to the climax of the story and then garble the sentences so bad it ruins the moment and the story. She has followed this paradigm to a "T". She waits until she finally stops repeating herself over and over, then self-sabotages her only real "point".
If you havn't noticed my dear Cloud Rox1, my aim is to upset as many people as possible. Ruffling feathers, rocking the boat and verbally beating these poor illiterates senseless are the only ways to get people to stop accepting substandard fan fiction as great. Have a nice day, be sure to drown yourself in a crap-filled toilet.

"WAHAHAHAHA! Now people are REALLY gunna ignore you! I noticed
something that most people probably don't though. You actually put EFFERT into
this! I think I'm one of the few people that realizes that you have to
stop & think about writing this bad. Every word has to be properly
mis-spelled to the proper level of idiocy. The grammer has to be twisted
around so that it's horrible & as for the plot... well, that's not too
hard. Make some bad random events and PRESTO! You have something that
everyone's gunna make fun of. Mind you, if you didn't write this bad
intentionally I feel sorry for you. Good job dude! Bye!"

Apparently not, including you.

WO! SEASON TWO:Finally Sees and Reads Ferrix/Hitler Review: WTF! ARM THE NUKES! WERE GOING TO WAR BYATCH! HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

:Random Explodions in the Distance:-TheKamiKazeElite

It's biatch, not byatch, moron.

First off, this is not a hate mail. I have never suffered the indignity of receiving a harsh review from you because I have never posted a story on the website. However, friends of mine frequent the website, and have expressed worry that they may be the next in your bloody flaming spree. Therefore I have a simple request to make. Please, for the sake of myself, my friends, and the several other people who have requested it of you, post one of your own original, personally inspired stories, so that the rest of us may pass judgment on your writing, instead of simply hating the mere thought of your reviews. After all, since you clearly consider yourself above every other member on the website, you must be able to write a better story than all of them. I await eagerly your entry onto the website. Until you do post a story, however, I would advise the people who read your reviews to not take you very seriously. Intelligent people back up their words with action.
-Wyeth Holman

I have heard this time and time again, people asking me to write a fan fiction so they can flame it (I know that's what they want to do, I'm not stupid.) Well, first off, I think I put more work in my REVIEWS then most of them put in their worthless fan fictions. Another thing I would like to mention, is that writing a fan fiction is NOT THAT HARD. Almost all your characters and settings have already been created/established. All you have to do, is write a new plot and use proper grammar. You idiots can't even pull that off. I'm not going to waste my time writing a fan fiction if you're just going to flame it. I have nothing to prove to you that I haven't already. Good bye, and may you drown in your own saliva.

"Oh and do you know this Ferrix guy? Yeah, the dude who review, but doesn't make stories. Ignore him. He said my writing killed his self esteem or something like that. If I had the chance, I'll be happy to kill him myself! And he got the gall to put me as a favorite author! What an idiot! Now don't get me wrong, I learn from every review I get that's helpful. Like Alex Warlon. He reviewed just about all of the chapters of Valmar Returns and all his reviews was helpful even though at times it seems like he's sayin I'm a bad author.But in actuallity Alex wants me to become a better one. Now back to Ferrix and his so-called Allies. This Blue Dragon X guy from that group left a review that had nothing to do with my story basically sayin don't talk about him like that, you have a lot of nuts sayin what u said. Yeah I do, thanx for noticeing! If your Allies group is about people leaving harsh but not specific reviews to people's stories, even people who just started out (like me) then to hell with your group. Leaving a bad review, not a problem. But straight dissing the story and the author? Allies, you have a formidable enemy in me then. The more dissing YOU do, the more I do!"- nate dogg

What? I can't understand you through all the spelling errors and the stupidity you smothered this note with.

Exactly how perverted can we be on here? Like, can we ask you if you've ever had sexual feelings for your twin before?

I personally find this question highly distasteful. If some one ever asked me this I tell would tell them absolutely not, despite his muscular, awe inspiring physique. Nor the way his hair dances in the morning breeze and his angelic voice calling my name in the twilight. Not one thing would draw me into incestuous debauchery, not even his soul piercing eyes and his primal musk that invigorates the bestial yearnings of my...

Oh my god, what happened?

Totally awesome forum post that will get you banned faster than cock-slapping your boss at a Safety Seminar.