Hi, this is Curtis Wildcat: churning out fanfics that make no sense since 1999.

Fanfictional interests: I've been focusing mostly on the Naruto/DBZ crossovers, Mega Man, and the Touhou Project, although I'll read most anything that isn't an insult to my tastes.

Television interests: Pokemon, formerly-local professional sports games (Tigers, Pistons, Red Wings). There's very little, if anything, that's actually good on TV nowadays; and since I have a 40-hour work week, I can't stick around the house and find out where it is.

Favorite movies: Big Jake, Star Wars: Episode IV, The Inspector General, Support Your Local Sheriff!, Duck Soup, The Rookie. Big Jake in particular is one of the few movies where I can just sit and watch the whole thing without feeling that I have to leave for some reason or another.

Favorite novels: Star Wars: Death Star, with the Wraith Squadron stories not far behind.

NEWS AND DEVELOPMENTS

(3-20-2013) By request, I've added on to Fantasy of Utter Ridiculousness. Enjoy the Alternate Ending!

(4-24-2013) An announcement I'd like to make. As some of you might be aware, the aforementioned FoUR now has its own page at TV Tropes. What I'm interested in having there is someone's artwork. If anyone reading this has some artistic talent (or you know someone that does) and wants to contribute a page image (and by extension, the cover image here at this site), contact me via PM and we'll see what we can work out. *shrug* If no one wants to, that's fine too.

(5-1-2013) Forgot to mention this until the 4th... anyhoo, Chapters 4 and 4.5 of MiP have been posted.

CURRENT WORKS

Slayers - This is Weird! (Chapters 1-8): Discontinued.

What Insertion? (Prologue, Chapters 1-23): On hiatus.

Monsters In Paradise: In Progress. Intermission #1 and Chapter 5 are being planned.

Boredom Breakage: A Vacuum in Feline Form: In Progress.

FUTURE WORKS

None at this time.

NON-WRITING INTERESTS

I like old video games (ex. Apogee's Commander Keen and Konami's Blades of Steel). I draw stuff occasionally. I also like to go bowling and play basketball, although I don't do as well as I'd like (and honestly, it's been a few years since I've been able to do either; the local alley closed down before I could get there, and the courts tend to be occupied with kids). Lastly, I like animals (especially cats, as if it wasn't evident), and a lot of the ones I've made up were inspired by Sonic the Hedgehog and the Superfriends. Most of the stuff I watch on TV revolves around cartoons and sports, when I manage to watch anything at all.

At present, my current obsession involves the Pokemon series of games (Black 2 and White 2) and the Touhou Project, with Star Wars Miniatures coming in at third.

WHY I WRITE THE WAY I DO

I've been thinking about the last chapter I've written for MiP (4 and 4.5, as of May 4, 2013), and why it's giving off "crack fic" vibes. This is the sort of thing that would make people say, "C'mon, it makes no sense at all!

I was born in the 80s, but I'm a child of the 90s. I grew up with the Super Mario Bros. and the NES, so much so that my older brother got rid of them to keep me from wasting all my free time. I figure I watched at least half of the cartoons that the 90s (and late 80s, to a lesser extent) had to offer me, from The Adventures of T-Rex and the Super Mario Bros. Super Show to Gargoyles and The Powerpuff Girls. The 90s also introduced me to the Samurai Pizza Cats and Sailor Moon, shows that I credit for leading me to the Internet.

Throughout that span of time, I'd write stories for my own personal amusement. I liked cats a lot, and I liked to picture them walking around and talking like humans. After playing Sonic the Hedgehog and watching stuff on Cartoon Network, I'd started picturing them as superheroes. I didn't write for anyone else's approval; I wrote because I wanted to make myself laugh. I liked being lost in my own little world, where flying cats, sarcastic foxes and prankster wolves fought with each other as much as they fought the bad guys. My imagination led to the creation of Curtis Cat (later Curtis Wildcat), whose mug now serves as my avatar for this site.

(A minor side note is that I was tested for autism in the early 90s, which didn't pan out. My mother thinks it more likely that I have Asperger's Syndrome instead, and I'm starting to agree with her.)

I wrote stuff that would qualify as pure crack were it to be posted on the Internet (be thankful that very little of the things I've written in the 90s have seen the light of day): Simba and Nala from The Lion King joining a superhero team, a Super Star Destroyer getting blown up by dynamite as it prepared to destroy Earth, the Sailor Scouts fighting against my team of felinoids in the old Pontiac Silverdome, stuff of that nature. Little of it would make sense to anyone were they to read it, and looking back it all looks rather strange to me now. But I liked doing it; that's what's important.

And now here I am as a guy getting close to my life's halfway point. Most of my salary gets spent on medicine, health insurance, and student loans; I've been diagnosed with some illness or another; and every day the world with its crime, worldwide violence, and astounding feats of human stupidity continue to make me depressed. One day, I decided: "No. Absolutely not. If this is what being an adult is like, forget this. If the future's going to take me, it better be prepared to face the tennis racket of DOOM." If I knew what my life was going to be like, I would've tried to enjoy my childhood a lot more. And now that there's no turning back, I will immerse myself in my formative years once again.

I will write stuff that makes you say "What?", and I will make you question my train of thought. I will make you close your eyes and picture absurd situations. You will see me twist logic and common sense on its head. I will leave science to those better equipped to understand it, and focus on the fantasies and humor of my childhood. I will write to entertain myself, first and foremost; and if I've made even one person laugh, that's good enough for me.

I have to play by life's rules. Curtis Wildcat has no such restrictions, and I aim to keep it that way.

LAST WORDS

Most of the stuff I've written before What Insertion? is of significantly lower quality, and most of that story itself is like that too. I thought it was a good idea writing them at the time, but looking back on them now I'm embarrassed to have that stuff up there. Read at your own risk.

I cannot write dramatic scenes, dreary depressing stuff, nor anything close to a mystery. I can't write hot-blooded action scenes, my conscience quails in the face of intense violence, and the romantic sort of love escapes me. What I can do, however, is make people laugh; after all, I am here to make life just a little more surreal.

Ciao mein, everyone, and enjoy.