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| Culumacilinte |
Author has written 50 stories for Lord of the Rings, Silmarillion, Pirates of the Caribbean, Lost, Wizard of Earth Sea, Shakespeare, National Treasure, Will and Grace, Monty Python, Jesus Christ Superstar, Gemma Doyle Trilogy, Matrix, X-Men, Bible, House, M.D., Misc. Books, Velvet Goldmine, and Mighty Boosh. Mae govannan! Here I shall attempt to give you myself in a nutshell, as it were. For starters- the name "Culumacilinte" is Elvish for "Golden-Red one of the Swift Sword" and is a stellar example of me and my wishful thinking. Now, me the writer: Fandoms in which I write: Jeeves and Wooster, The Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, Shakespeare, Stephen Fry/Hugh Laurie RPS, Beatlesslash, Will and Grace, Jonathan Creek, House M.D., Bibleslash, X-Men, Lost, Monaboyd Fandoms I read: All of the above, as well as Harry Potter, Historical Slash, The Phantom of the Opera, Rocky Horror Picture Show, various RPS. This account generally is not updated often, as I am now primarily a writer of RPS- for those of you who aren't familiar with the term, real person slash, something which fanfiction.net does not allow, in a wise effort to avoid being sued or something similar. Ergo, most of my fiction is to be found on Livejournal. A link is to be found here: http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=hobbit_feets&keyword=My+fics&filter=all All the writing there is my own, archived on Livejournal.com. Some of it does appear here as well, but most of it does not. So there. Please go and read and glut yourselves on the glory that is Pythonslash and Stephen Fry/Hugh Laurie, and a variety of other, less-acceptable pairings. I'd really recommend them, honestly I would. Though am not as active in the Lord of the Rings fandom as once I was, I must add that I am inordinately fond of the deep, beauteous, misunderstood, and complicated beyond belief character of Grima Wormtongue. I am a hard-core Grima/Eowyn shipper, and ought to be evidenced by my writings. Now, many people, upon hearing this, would look at me in disgust and exclaim "Eww! Wormtongue? But he's so... evil and ugly." Not so! And anyway, I'm not in for the physical content, it's the incredible emotional interplay between these two characters. Ah... intellect is so sexy. As a writer, it is only logical that I am terribly fond of words. I love them. It's rather magical, when one considers it; 26 symbols, to be arranged in any way one fancies, therefore creating a plethora of meaning. Words are my paint and brush, if you like that thoroughly overused metaphor, with which I create a variety of scenes and images which you will read here. As a lover of words, I do also enjoy the simple sound of them, regardless of their meaning, and here is a list of some of the many words which I find to have a pleasing sound to them. Read these out loud; feel the shape and the progess of them on your lips and teeth and tongue; feel how they trip out into existence to hover in the air for a moment before disappearing like a fleeting breath of wind. Before I start being unbearably pompous, go on: Rowan, dwimmerlaik, maharaja, otter, poseur, fender, savvy, spackle, resonant, surreptitious, westering, djembe, trees, sibilant, pluffy, imbecile, evanescence, Yorkshire, poltroon, pheonix, willowy, delphinium, luna, bagpipes, tigress, wiccan, dauntless, Glaswegian, piratical, whither, incognito, muse, riotous, torrential, glacial, muesli, beatnik, buttons, mystical, pansy, freebooter, lailath, apathetic, whereas, hitherto, cheliceratea, sprawl, malevolant, leechcraft, indubitably, quite. About myself: Real Life is an unfortunate thing for a fanfiction writer to have to deal with, but its presence cannot be denied, no-matter how hard you or I may try. About myself, then. You must first know that I am quite out of my mind. Non compos mentis, as it were. I am an eccentric, so say the least. My mind is constantly taken up with the matter of my writing, and much of my free time (as I have no life) is taken up with writing the various fics that will appear here. I am, in Real Life, a first year university student who fancies herself an actor. I am: eccentric, anglophile, obsessive, hippie, liberal, student, thespian, only slightly mad, irish, bisexual, constantly singing, pedantic, frequenter of renaissance festivals, bibliophile, artist of mediocre quality Anything else you need not know. | |||||||
1. Looks Toxic reviewsFrom the prompt 'Requesting some violent, filthy, graphic and passionate Electro Girl femmeslash Neon/Ultra plz!Mighty Boosh - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,744 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-22-08 - Complete2. In the BandFrom the prompt: 'From back in the days when Howard used to play jazz- He's about to get kicked off the band for being crap, and he'll do anything to stay. Mrs Gideon never remembers who he is, so Howard tries to put a move on Rudi'- Howard/Rudi weirdnesMighty Boosh - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,529 - Published: 1-26-08 - Complete3. The Unicorn of First Gay Love reviewsThe Zooniverse is doing terribly, as per usual, and Bob Fossil informs the boys that in order to get the zoo good publicity, they either have to track down some really fantastic creatures, or- if they can't- pose as the zoo's resident adorable gay couple.Mighty Boosh - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,596 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 1-26-08 - Complete4. Get Inside You, Boy reviewsAs Howard sleeps one night, the Spirit of Jazz comes to him with the intention of having a little fun with his most hapless of devoteesMighty Boosh - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,864 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1-26-08 - Complete5. Like a Couple of Lonely Satsumas reviewsThe events of 'Party,' as told from Vince's perspective. But this time, he has something to say about how it ends. First person Vince POV, Vince/HowardMighty Boosh - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,470 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 1-26-08 - Complete6. A Man Like Rudi reviewsRudi Van DiSarnio is a holy man- one of the order of the psychadelic monks- but if occasionally Rudi should engage in certain activities, it can't really be his fault. Rudi/Spider ficletMighty Boosh - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 464 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 1-26-08 - Complete7. We Watches reviewsGollum is always watching- he has no choice. First person Gollum POV. A ficletLord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 564 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-22-08 - Gollum - Complete8. Watch, and Do Not Look Away reviewsAn uncomfortable seduction. Interactions between Jerry and Shannon leading up the the infamous orgy.Velvet Goldmine - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,806 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7-28-07 - Complete9. Jeeves and the Heroic Rescue reviewsWherein Jack is an Evil Bastard, Jeeves is a Hero, and Bertie is rescued from Almost Certain Peril. A Jeeves and WoosterA Bit of Fry and Laurie crossover.Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,408 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 7-26-07 - Complete10. Concerning Stories reviewsAll her life, Éowyn has heard stories, but when it comes down to it, all she has is herself. A ficlet.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 882 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7-26-07 - Eowyn - Complete11. So Dark Night Creepeth reviews'Part of the crew, part of the ship,' Bootstrap's thoughts during the sequence of AWE wherein Elizabeth and her crew escape, augmented somewhat by the fact that Norrington does not die and Bootstrap, in fact, does. Third person, told from Bootstrap's POVPirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,019 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5-31-07 - Complete12. Meditations on a Fall reviewsEl misses Lucifer. GodxLucifer slash, 549 wordsBible - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 640 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 5-23-07 - Complete13. The One Where They're Girls reviewsHouse notices that Foreman has not been taking advantage of his sudden gender switch as the others have, and decides that this needs to be remedied. Set in the genderfuck universe started by thedeadparrot on ljHouse, M.D. - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,622 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4-10-07 - E. Foreman & G. House - Complete14. The One That I Kiss reviewsIt's a well known story: Judas kissing Jesus to betray him to the Romans, but never does the Bible consider how difficult it must have been for him to do so. JesusXJudas slashBible - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,197 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 4-10-07 - Complete15. Visions reviewsCharlie is curious as to why Desmond is so eager to save his life, and Desmond explains. Or rather, demonstrates. Takes place immediately after Flashes Before Your Eyes. Slash.Lost - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,851 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 2-21-07 - Desmond & Charlie - Complete16. Sight reviewsTia Dalma sees many things, but there are some things which even she does not expect. Slight spoilers for AWE. A drabble.Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 318 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-12-07 - Complete17. In Darkness reviewsKurt Wagner likes being alone. It's then that he can let his mind wander and feel his Lord's presence. Musings from Kurt. MovieverseX-Men - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 715 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-21-07 - Complete18. So Lightly reviewsGrace never knows if Karen is serious or not: she wishes she was. GraceKaren, a drabble and a fifthWill and Grace - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 163 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-30-06 - Complete19. Metaphor reviewsSometimes metaphor is the only thing that works. GraceKaren: a drabble and a halfWill and Grace - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 188 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 11-30-06 - Complete20. A Portrait of a Man and a Woman in Love reviewsThere is a painting Davy Jones has, which he keeps secret and hidden, even from himself he has not looked at it in decades. When he finds that his heart has been stolen from him, however, he has no other option but to look upon it. Past Davy JonesXTia DPirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,105 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 10-16-06 - Complete21. Music reviewsWhen Will goes to steal the key to the Dead Man's Chest from Davy Jones, he realises something about the Captain, and the organ music he hears at night on the ship which he would not have suspected. Implied Tia DalmaXDavy JonesPirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 685 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 10-4-06 - Complete22. A Touch of Madness reviewsOn a quiet night on the Pearl, Jack Sparrow finds a drunk, forlorn James Norrington and tries to comfort him, revealing something of himself to the dejected former Commodore in the process. Sparrington. Set during Dead Man's Chest.Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,543 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 9-7-06 - Complete23. A Man with Eyes like the Sea reviewsThe only thing Jack Sparrow has ever loved is the ocean, but when he meets a man with eyes like the sea... well, he can't help but fall in love with him too. Sparrington.Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 342 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-4-06 - Complete24. Comfort reviewsIt's cold in the real world there is none of the warmth and joy that exists in the false life of the Matrix. Here, people must find comfort where they canMatrix - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 243 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-31-06 - Switch & Trinity - Complete25. Meaningless reviewsJack is beautiful, and he and everybody else know this, but he doesn't mean it. Just a quick almost double drabble inspired by the shot of Jack and Elizabeth about to kiss from the Pirates 2 trailer.Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 208 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 7-8-06 - Complete26. Black and WhiteOpposites attract, or so they say. Such is the case with Switch and Trinity. Femmeslash drabble.Matrix - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 142 - Published: 4-27-06 - Switch & Trinity - Complete27. The Consecration of the Order reviewsThe book tells us that on the night of the founding of the Order, the four girls got drunk and Felicity kissed Gemma. However, that surely was not quite all that happened, at least not how I see it. FelicityGemma slash.Gemma Doyle Trilogy - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,550 - Reviews: 33 - Published: 4-7-06 - Complete28. Joshua reviewsSlash. Set just after the song Jaded Manderin. Judas breaks down, and Joshua understands. A OneshotJesus Christ Superstar - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 501 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 4-7-06 - Complete29. Do You Want to Come Back to My Place? reviewsA continuation of the D'you wanna come back to my place sketch. Written in script form, as if it were merely the end of the sketch which the Pythons decided not to air. Pairing: John Cleese as the Officer and Michael Palin as the man who approaches himMonty Python - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,321 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 3-29-06 - Complete30. All Shall Fade reviewsPippin's thoughts as he sings for Denethor in Return of the King. Almost a songfic.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 463 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3-13-06 - Peregrin T. - Complete31. Rape reviewsAn alternate and quite squicky version of Grishnakh's search of Merry and Pippin for the Ring during their captivity by the UrukHai. Warnings: Noncon, as implied by the title. It isn't graphic, though.Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 352 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-12-06 - Complete32. Examinations reviewsBeregond is summoned to the Houses of Healing for a physical examination by Aragorn. He's not too fond of healers, so Pippin goes with him, both for moral support and to see Aragorn again. Sexual tension happens, and eventually AragornBeregondPippin!Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,451 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12-30-05 - Complete33. High reviewsMerry and Pippin make good use of the Old Toby they find in the wreckage of Isengard. A short, fluffy, ficletLord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 657 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 10-13-05 - Meriadoc B. & Peregrin T.34. Stasis reviewsKaren Walker has lived in stasis, that is a state of stoppage, stability, immobility, all her life, until, that is, she falls for one Grace Adler. A GraceKaren fic. Oneshot.Will and Grace - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,978 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 6-28-05 - Complete35. Convincing reviewsBenIan slashy goodness. It's after the events of the movie- Ian is in jail, and he requests an audience with Ben to try and get off on some of his charges. Ben requires some convinving. Ian complies.National Treasure - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,228 - Reviews: 24 - Published: 5-24-0536. Blood reviewsEowyn being severly depressed, reflecting on blood, and contemplating suicide. Warning: self-mutilation contained herein. You have been warned.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 325 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 4-19-05 - Eowyn37. Rum reviewsElizabeth has a rum fixation. Reflections on that- from her life in Port Royal to the Island.Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,027 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 4-19-0538. Lorien reviewsA free verse poem about the enigma that is Lothlorien.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-2-0539. Night and Day reviewsWe are not so different, you and I" Grima Wormtongue. Grima shows Eowyn that they really are just two sides of the same coin.Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,688 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 2-24-05 - Grima W. & Eowyn40. Middle Name reviewsWhat IS James Norrington's middle name anyway? Slashy Sparrington goodness.Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,562 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 2-15-0541. Damned Spot reviews(Macbeth) A rewrite of the 'Out Damned Spot' scene from the viewpoint of the gentlewoman attendant. Quite angstyShakespeare - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,350 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2-2-0542. Once Upon a Time reviewsGrima compares his and Eowyn's relationship to the classic storytale romance. Unrequited, as usual.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,123 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 1-29-05 - Grima W. & Eowyn43. Pip's Eyes reviewsIt's 12 years after the War of the Ring, and Pippin is haunted by dreams of Frodo. I've fixed it! Made it better! It now has paragraph breaks, and Navaer Lailath, if that's your name- I fixed the accents in 'namarie'.Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,446 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 1-11-05 - Published: 4-21-04 - Peregrin T.44. The Song of the Sparrowhawk reviewsThis is a rewrite of my original "The Song of the Sparrowhawk". It really isn't too different, s'cept for a few lines which I absolutely loathed. It's pretty much a summary of the book "A Wizard of Earthsea" in the form of a layWizard of Earth Sea - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 622 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 1-11-0545. Ice Princess reviewsA GrimaEowyn unrequited fic. Grima longs for Eowyn, his Ice PrincessLord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 892 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 1-11-05 - Grima W. & Eowyn46. There and Back Again:Or so I Hope » reviewsGirl falls into ME, joins the Fellowship, becomes best buds with Merry and Pippin, etc. I know it's an overused theme, but hey! Pleez read- I hand out Lembas to reviewers. This is a rewrite of There and Back Again (perhaps): A Humans Tale- it's better tooLord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,179 - Reviews: 26 - Updated: 1-7-05 - Published: 8-24-0447. Knight in Shining Armor reviewsClaire reflects about Charlie and what he means to her. Set during "Raised by Another"Lost - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 943 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-12-04 - Charlie & Claire48. For the Love of a Man » reviewsThe Pearl aquires some new crewmembers, one of whom happens to be gay. See what happens when he falls for a certain captain... Rum, romance and a wee bit of angst. Chapter 11 up!Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,188 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 7-17-04 - Published: 5-12-0449. The Sea Calls reviewsPoem about Frodo's decision to leave Middle-Earth for ValinorLord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 175 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 5-10-0450. The Harborless Ship reviewsA poem about Earendil- fun fun- review pleezSilmarillion - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 85 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 5-10-04
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