Okay, to clear things up, I am an all-american girlwho has no background in any languages, save for Spanish. And may I say that somehow, every spanish class I end up in sucks!
Where was I..oh yeah. I don't mean to offend anybody in any of my little bits of mused-up writing.
Favorite Color: Red, then purple, then blue, then black.
Favorite Foods: Cheescake, Pepperoni pizza, Strawberries, Chocolate, Original pringles, etc. (not in any order)
Favorite Pairings: Buffy/Angel, ChrisHalliwell/BiancaPerry, SamWinchester/JessMoore, House/Cuddy, Harry/Hermione/Ron menage troi, Harry/Ginny, Harry/otherFemale, River/Jayne, Ayla/Jondalar, Gohan/Videl, Alice/Carlos (ResEvil), AnitaBlake/Richard, Wolverine/Mystique, etc..
Favorite Number: 39
URL=http/www.marapets.com/refer.php?id=Goddessa39IMGhttp/www.marapets.com/button2.php/IMG/URL url=http/www.marapets.comVirtual Pets/url url=http/www.marapets.com/arcade.phpGames/url
Pairings I like: Btvs:-Buffy/Angel -My original ship and still reigning favorite for anything.
-Giles/Jenny
-Giles/Joyce
-Giles/Olivia
-Oz/Willow
-Oz/Tara
-Willow/Tara
-Oz/Willow/Tara
-Xander/Cordy
-Cordy/Gunn
-Xander/Anya
-Cordy/Gru
-Cordy/Doyle
-Fred/Wesley
-Fred/Gunn
-Dru/Spike
Pairings I hate: BTVS:
-Buffy/not Angel
-Angel/not Buffy
-Giles/Willow
-Spike/Joyce
I do not always like Angelus unless he is not seperate from Angel, for instance, at She Comes to Me , the fic "Scars on My Soul" is a goodie.
Pairings I do like: Harry Potter
-Harry/Ron/Hermione- my second favorite ship, only topped by my love of Buffy/Angel
-Harry/Ginny- alot of people don't like this, but I do, though i dislike the whole idea of both HBP and Book7.
-Ron/Hermione
-Harry/Ginny/Luna/Padma/Parvati/Gabrielle/Blaise(female)/Susan/multi(that is an H/girl already on the list)/OC
-Neville/Luna
-Luna/Draco
-Harry/Tonks (sorta)
-James/Lily
-Moony/Padfoot
-Moony/Tonks
-Albus Dumbledore/Minerva McGonaghall
-Ron/Luna
-Neville/Hermione
-Severus/Narcissa
-Molly/Arthur
-Forge/Gred/Angelina/Alicia/Katie
Pairings I do not like: Harry Potter
-Harry/SLASH
-Harry/years-elder woman besides tonks
-incest
-Hermione/Draco
-Ginny/Draco
-Severus/Lily
-Severus/Harry
-Sirius/Lily
-Moony/Lily
-Harry/Tom/Voldemort
Pairings I do like: Charmed
-Chris/Bianca is my favorite charmed pairing!
-Piper/Leo -Meant to be. Its part of the very show. W/o them Charmed would be nothing.
-Phoebe/Cole
-Prue/Andy
Pairings I don't like: Charmed
-Prue/Paige/Phoebe/Leo
-Prue/Paige/Piper/Cole
-Prue/Paige/Piper/Phoebe (sexually)
-incest
Other Cannons and beloved pairings:
Earth's Children Series
-Ayla/Jondalar
Firefly-Serenity
-River/Jayne
-Simon/Kaylee
-Mal/Inara
-Zoe/Wash
DBZ
-Gohan/Videl
-Goku/ChiChi
Recommended Sites:
-FF.net Buffy the Vampire Slayer BA Fanfiction This is just the Buffy/Angel page att FF.net
-FF.net Buffy the Vampire Slayer Crossovers This is the Buffy the Vampire SLayer crossover page
-FF.net Harry Potter Harry This is just the Harry Potter HP page at FF.net
-She Comes to Me is a Buffy/Angel site with a few reallygood fics.
-PhoenixSong is a Harry/Ginny site
-CJS Place - A Buffy Crossover Archive is a Buffy/xover site with various different cannons and pairings all Buffy
-Sink Into Your Eyes is another H/G site
-Land Of Denialis a B/A site for BA_FLUFF with tons of stories
-Twisting The Hellmouthis a xover site featuring mostly Btvs/xover fics, challenges, adn even a few photos
-FF.net Firefly/Serenity River/JayneThis is the River/Jayne pairing part of FF.net. I've not seen the series yet but the movie was awesome. I've become fond of this pairing.
Quotes (and other stuff) That I Love:
"No one insults the turtle!" -Bender, Futurama
"Never argue with a woman. They're always right..." -James Bond
In all those years no one ever mattered, not like she did. And now she's gone. Forever. -Angel, the ensouled vampire (BA Always!)
"The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised." - Zapp Brannigan
Why House Became a Doctor: "When I was 14 my father was stationed in Japan. I went rock climbing with this kid from school. He fell, got injured and I had to bring him to the hospital. We came in through the wrong entrance and passed this guy in the hall. It was a janitor. My friend came down with an infection and the doctors didn't know what to do. So they brought in the janitor. He was a doctor. And a Buraku. One of Japan's untouchables. His ancestors had been slaughterers, grave diggers. And this guy, he knew that he wasn't accepted by the staff, he didn't even try. He didn't dress well. He didn't pretend to be one of them. The people that ran that place, they didn't think that he had anything they wanted. Except when they needed him. Because he was right. Which meant that nothing else mattered. And they had to listen to him."
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..."
A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell saying "We fucked up, huh?"
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration! (no offense meant to illegal immigrants)
"Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some."- Alfred Hitchcock
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the 'up' button." --Sam Levenson
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” - Unknown
When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape
Disclaimer: As badly as she's mangled them, the HP characters still belong to Rowling. Somebody call Child Protective Services, quick! -Perfect Lionheart
Murphy's Military Laws:
-Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
-Friendly fire ain't
-The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
-Incoming fire has the right of way.
-The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
-There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
-Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
-If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
"Some people say that I must be a terrible person, but it’s not true. I have the heart of a young boy in a jar on my desk" -Stephen King
"Those of you in the cheaper seats clap your hands, those of you in the more expensive ones rattle your jewelry." - John Lennon
"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." - Elvis Presley
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin
"Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - R. Kennedy
"Woman are meant to be loved, not to be understood". --Oscar Wilde
Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
Having a smoking section in a restaurant is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool.
Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
-- Robin Williams.
Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster!
I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?
"Whoever said time heals all wounds died young." -Anonymous
Fic Quotes that I love:
""Oh God," groaned Harry, covering his eyes. "Somebody call Voldemort. Tell him I surrender."" - Divergent Pathsby Ruskbyte
"he sprang to life, beating the living shit out of one Gilderoy Lockhart" Front Pageby ShadeDancer's Heir of Blood.
"Just thought you might want to know, Professor; this isn't a school, it's a lunatic asylum," Harry told the professor before stepping outside. "And the inmates are in charge." Backwards Compatible: Coming Back Home.
"'No, we chose correctly. Chris was given a much greater task.' 'Which is?' Fate raised one arched eyebrow and shot him a pointed look. 'Keeping you in line.'quot; -Death and Wyatt in teal-lover's Unplanned Changes
"Phoebe said numbly then took a sharp breath, 'Are you saying that.. that your.. my son?' she asked shocked. He shook his head, 'No, no, of course not.. she sighed, her heart resumed its normal beating. '.I’m her son.' he said after a moment, looking at Piper." -Phoebe, Piper and Chris in Emma15's The_Son
“Infamy!” Malcom cried. “Infamy, they’ve all got it in for me!” -Jeconais' White Knight, Grey Queen
It is widely known that the Potters and the Malfoys absolutely hate each others guts. This had been going on for quiet sometime, and no one is sure why they still hate each other. Only to say that the score is now Malfoys: 13 Potters: 97... “Meet that arrogant little SOB at Diagon Alley,” Harry calmly replied. “We had a frank exchange of insults.”... When a Potter dies, their body, assuming there is one, is unceremoniously dumped naked into a hole in the garden. The Potters also never refer to their dead relatives as “dead.” -Feneris's Black_and_Twilight
When asked about this they merely say, “Why would we call them dead? Though it is not like they are totally alive…” That statement has scared a lot of people for a lot of reasons, though, no one is exactly sure why.
"Various people had been trying to get him to take a large place for awhile now. After the hospitalizations involved in Bianca’s last attempt at cooking he finally agreed. Well, he never really like those neighbours anyways. And that poodle, poor bastard never saw it coming…" - JMD-009's A Child Will Lead Them
“Zoe and Wash got rules, you two got rules as well. First rule: No kissy kissy fei-oo in public. I don’t give a good gorram if you’re alone but I don’t wanna see it. Rule number two: No sex.” - KinkerBelle's Strip: Ch.4 Triple
Harry looked up, still slightly bleary-eyed, to see Hermione smiling warmly at him. “Is it? I disagree. I have far too much blood in my caffeine stream.” -Seel'vor's Harry Potter and the BoyWhoLived
Remus subtly poked Sirius and pointed over to Harry. Padfoot saw how still Harry was and looked at Remus curiously. Remus was whispering out of the corner of his mouth. “I’m pretty sure he’s petrified his own face. Lucky bugger. Now Padfoot, don’t say a word. I really think she may kill one of us before this is over.” “I hope she kills Harry,” Sirius whispered out of the corner of his own unmoving mouth. Remus’ eyes widened. Sirius continued, “Oh come on. He’d probably come back anyway.” -nonjon's Chapter 5 of "You Did What!"
“Oh,” Lily said dejectedly, before looking over at Harry. “Your flying is going to make me nervous, isn’t it?” Hermione assured her. “It terrified me during school, but you stop worrying when you realize there’s a madness to his method.” Lily corrected her, “Don’t you mean, a method to his-“ Hermione interrupted shaking her head. “No. I said it right.” in Chapter 7.
"Tom-ay-to, tom-ah-to. One time, we were learning about the word 'oxymoron.' The example the teacher gave was 'awfully good,' and proceeded to get every student in the class to give an oxymoron; every one of them were nearly identical to hers, being an adverb/adjective combination. It was really bugging me, so for my example I gave 'common sense.' She sent me out of the class while trying desperately not to smile." Hermione was chuckling. "So how was Divination? Can you tell me the answers to the next transfiguration exam?" -Darthbill's The Power: Chapter 18
Hermione smiled wanly at her. “It's a personal location and condition monitor charm that Harry built into our wedding bands. With it, I can tell roughly where he is and his condition. Normally the numbers should be green. The colors change to represent his physical condition. Green means he's healthy, yellow is injured, red is badly injured and black.. Well, Harry once told me the colors meant 'breathing', 'coughing', 'barely breathing' and 'dig a hole'. -Bobmin's Wizards_Fall_The_Truth_is_Out_There
Of course, given Videl’s track record, even the happily-ever-after part of the story could hardly have come down to a simple walk off into the sunset – not when it involved settling down with a super-powered alien who treated death like a revolving door. Fortunately, ‘girl calmly, happily marries high-school sweetheart’ was a story not even Mr Satan’s daughter could turn into a media event, and between her father’s (now incredibly ironic) requirement that she not date anyone who couldn’t defeat him and Chi-Chi’s… er, old-fashioned awareness of money matters, their respective children’s change in status went down with remarkably few explosions.
-rallamajoop's Daughter of the Man who Saved the World
Obviously he wasn’t dead. I could hear Dad, typing at the keyboard, a busy sound that I’d heard all my life. Slowly, I slid down until I was crouched in front of the door with my forehead pressed against the wood. I was being ridiculous. I could hear him typing. If I tried, I could sense the steady calm ebb of his energy. He was right there, perfectly fine, right on the other side of the door. I was still arguing with myself when the door opened and I nearly fell into the room. Dad gazed down at me in surprise and then concern. “Goten?” I just blinked at him, wondering how undignified it would be if I were to ask for a hug. He crouched down, brushing hair away from my face. “Goten, what’s wrong?” To Hell with dignity. I threw myself into Dad’s arms and burst into tears.
-srusse87 The Drummer's March
When he was six, Sam told Dean that he was going to marry a beautiful girl with long yellow hair when he was twenty-three..I just know, okay?” Sam said. “She’s gonna be smart, and funny. Her eyes will be green. She’s gonna kiss me on the forehead like Dad does when he puts me to bed, and her favorite color will be blue. We’re gonna get married and live happily ever after. But I know it’ll be her.” -Sorrel's Twenty Three
“Hermione, trust Harry. If anyone can unfuck the world, it’s him.” -Susin ..Fleur, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised. Can we, I don’t know, talk for a while?” Clell65619's Harry Potter and Merlin's Reaper
She was, James Potter decided, the most annoying girl he’d ever had the misfortune of running across. She was also, he could tell, the girl he’d be forced into marrying some day. “How d’you reckon that?” Sirius Black – the bloke he’d sat next to on the train, and also his new best friend (really, you can’t have a sense of humor so perfectly matched with somebody and not know that its destiny) – asked, running a hand through his hair. James shrugged. “Buggered why I’m going to get stuck with her,” he grumbled. “But it’s ’cause she has red hair. All the blokes in my family marry dames with red hair. Something about Potters and redheads, I guess.” -dress-without-sleeves's Potters and Redheads
Professor Vector pulled out her wand, and prepared to try and end her colleagues dance act. “Don’t,” Madam Pomfrey pleaded, moving her hand to block the wands path. “I’ve been wanting to see Sev’s legs for years - this is my chance.” Vector blinked. Repeatedly. “Sev? Sev’s legs?” The school nurse blushed. -Jeconais's Chances
His brother – his reticent, earnest brother who usually avoids the whole bar scene as though it’s a rare and terrible disease – is holding court, literally presiding, while the crowd looks on as though he’s the most interesting creature on the planet. -mute90's But_You_Should_See_the_Other_Guy
"And this is a cow," Remus read from the big book of farm animals. "Do you know what sound a cow makes?" "Not really," Harry replied. "I grew up in an area that had a shortage of cows." "Uh . . . I think you're supposed to say moo?" Remus said uncertainly. "I'm not too sure though, I haven't spent too much time around kids your age." "Why don't we just play poker or something," Harry suggested. - Time meant nothing, never would again
“Harry,” a dripping Ron yelled as he walked into the common room. “Why didn't you rescue me.” “Man code,” Neville said simply. “M . . .” Ron's eyes crossed. “Section sixty nine?”-Rorshach's Blots' Odd_Idea: Bunch o Omakes: SecondTask
A.K. saw the second tray of cheesecake brownies coming out of the oven. “Nice to see you’re putting that gift to good use.” Luna came in tying her robe around her waist. “It’s like watching a porno we’ve yet to make.” -nonjon's Dimension Hopping for Beginners
“Ghost! What are you doing?” she asks between gasping breathes. “Catching me,” Destiny seems to be repeating someone’s words as her feet get lowered carefully to the ground allowing her to stand on her own two feet. Lily blinks in stunned shock as she watches this scene unfold, her mind having already come to a complete stop. Therefore when Destiny proceeds to throw herself at the thin air before her and wrapping her arms around something Lily now realizes is real and that she and the others just can’t see, her thoughts are interrupted by Destiny as she proclaims with a giggle, “I love you Ghost.” -JadeLMSkywalker's Destinys Ghost
“Ask Harry some time,” Ron says. “Ask him what he wants to be when he grows up,” Ron instructs, voice sharp and bitter. “He won’t understand what you mean.” - Miss Laine's Promises
“Now I realise that you didn’t exactly have a normal upbringing so if you’d like me to start with the basics then that’s fine,” Arthur prompted gently. “No… I… uh, how did you know it was me that sent you that owl?” Harry managed to stammer. “Your owl is very distinct,” Arthur explained. “I’d suggest using a school owl if you don’t want it to be traced back to you.” “We did use a school owl,” Harry replied quickly. “Hmmm, guess that explains all the blood,” Arthur muttered. “None the less it was Hedwig that delivered the magazine.” -Rorschach's Blot's Larceny, Lechery, and Luna Lovegood
F&B: Which I guess is a fair enough way of defining courage: being able to keep the shakes suppressed long enough to get things done..Harry, who was really well-liked by everyone – I had never heard a bad word about her, even from Slytherins – and the smile instantly disappeared from Harry’s face and he said – in a very firm, ‘no-kidding around’ voice – “She wore that button in fourth year.” “‘Pampered prince’, you said. How lucky I was to have you give me to the Dursleys so I wouldn’t be a ‘pampered prince.’ You threw me in the desert for fifteen years and when I came out all parched and blistered you congratulated yourself on keeping me from drowning.” -Ajarntham's The Flourish and Blott's Hour -- Transcript
Then Eppy turned on her master and began tapping a military combat covered foot on the floor. “Is this … elf,” Eppy said with distaste, “really belonging to you?” Sighing Harry looked at her and told her the truth. “Yes, I’m afraid it is Eppy. I’m sorry, I completely forgot about him. I had hoped that I would never see him again.” Dobby and Eppy looked at each other and together said, “We’s is agreeing with that.” -Fangalla Marie and Eppy the House Elf's Harry Potter and the Azkaban Parody
"Madame Bones has cordoned off the area and she sent me to get you," Kingsley said breathlessly. "She asked you to hurry because the ghost is using bad language that she doesn't want the new Aurors to hear." -Rorschach's Blot's Absinthe Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
When he found himself in front of the staff table, Harry lowered his hood. “Great Merlin!” swore Horace Slughorn. Harry turned to him. “Yes?” he asked politely. -Louis IX's Voldemort's_Last_Spell
"Ok," Harry nodded. "Will you teach me how to groin stomp?" "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," McGonagall shook her head. "Come with me." "But the guys said that you groin stomped several people." Harry protested, "and they said that it was done with more skill than anyone had ever seen before." "They said that?" McGonagall smiled. "Yes," Harry nodded. "So will you teach me?" "Maybe when you're older," Minerva broke down. "But I wanna learn now" "And you'll never learn with that attitude," she patted him on the head. "Let all things come in their proper time." "Ok," Harry replied grudgingly. "First you take away my human ear necklace and now you won't teach me how to groin stomp." -Rorschach's Blot's Let's Do The Timewarp Again
Harry grinned and followed his oldest friend onto the ship, "Hermione, if there's anything Hogwarts has taught me it's that Murphy was an optimist." -part of a Caer Azkaban Digest fic piece
“Is that Marianne?” Cameron said, looking like she wanted to take the girl straight from his arms but knew better. “She just ate.” House said. “Jack will be hungry when he wakes up and they are both shit machines so don’t be squeamish about the diaper changing. They’ll sleep, mostly, and if Cuddy calls every twenty seconds, I want you to act like you love it. If you screw up, I’ll kill each of you slowly and painfully. Got it?” -missparker85's The Thing Between Us
"I'm fine. He didn't even graze me," he says. "Statistically--quot; "Charlie," Don interrupts. "Don't." "I'm just saying," Charlie says. "Statistically we're both already dead." Don doesn't know why that had to be the thing they'd finally have in common. -Nixa_Jane's In His Head
“We're fine. There's just one thing you could do for us.” He tries to look authoritative but fails miserably. Megan raises a curious eyebrow and Don points the hand not currently shielding his ribs towards the cell phone. “Answer Charlie's phone. Talk to our father.” Megan was speechless. “What?” She asked after a moment. Charlie smiled. “Please. We can't reach the phone and you're probably calmer..We could use calm when explaining this to him.” Megan raised an eyebrow. "You're willing to stand beside a bomb but you won't talk to your father?" She asks Don, a split-second later realizing how it must have sounded to Charlie. She wonders when she allowed herself to be insensitive to others feelings but brushes it off as adrenaline. Don nods. "To be honest, our father's scarier." -SnowySleigh's For Granted
Sometimes I wonder if the Statute of Secrecy isn’t maintained more to prevent the Ministry from being scrutinized too closely by the Muggle governments. By Muggle standards, I’m afraid the Wizarding world would be considered hopelessly backward and barbaric.” Rita’s eyes were bulging now, though Harry couldn’t blame her. She’d just watched the Boy Who Lived declare war on half of the Wizarding world. -S'TarKan Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past
Harry looked back at Lacey and could tell there was no doubt Tracey, Stacey, and Lacey were identical triplets. He turned back and scolded his godfather, “Why did you pick up two girls who looked just like Lacey?” Sirius was about to defend himself before he fully realized the situation. He started to chuckle victoriously. “I got two, you got one. I win.” Stacey and Tracey were just staring at their sister incredulously. Stacey broke the silence declaring, “But Lacey, you… you’re a lesbian!” Harry felt the young woman inch closer to him for safety. Tracey scoffed as incredulous as her sister. “And you’re a virgin!” Lacey was blushing as she tried to hide behind Harry, just barely peering over his shoulder. She softly admitted, “A day ago, both of those would have been true.” Harry tried to fight it but his eyes were twinkling. “Fine,” Sirius sighed and admitted, “You win.” -nonjon's A Black Comedy
...“But, I don’t want to talk about that.” At this point, Seamus sneezed something that sounded suspiciously like ‘bullshite.’ Lockhart didn’t miss a beat. “Bless you,” he nodded towards Seamus before continuing, “I didn’t get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!” He paused for them to laugh, which several people did; namely Harry’s friends – excluding Hermione – but not at the professor’s lame joke, merely at Seamus’ unnoticed insult to the man. ... Snape let out a long, slow breath. “Merlin, Brewer. Do you go looking for trouble?” Harry snickered, “Don’t hafta, sir. He has my floo address.”-aramie.greyson's Raising Harry storyline
Before Dylan could reply, Tristan continued on in one of his occasional, curious ramblings, saying, “Ya know, in a way it’s a good thing that all the great artists that made paintings of the Second War in Heaven are dead. They’d probably be kinda disappointed to find out that they actually should’ve painted a bunch of teenagers and 20-somethings in blue jeans protecting a group of semi-retired losers in beige polyester from an army of rage-aholics who just robbed an Abercrombie & Fitch store during their ‘Black Clothing’ promotion.” When he discovered that everyone was staring at him, Tristan snapped out of his trance. “Sorry! Was that out loud?” -Alwyn Elderberry's The_Brothers_Halliwell
Ginny saw in horror as colors and pictures moved along and clutched Harry’s hand for support. When it was over, she turned to Harry with tears and leaning forward kissed his cheek. “I knew I would marry the boy-who-lived someday.” ... I have no excuse for my actions except being blinded by the prejudice of others and the pressures of being the boy-who-lived’s mother.” Lily met the younger girl’s eyes and was shocked to find her look in pity mixed with growing fury. “You really don’t understand,” Ginny smiled ruefully, getting up. “Someday you will, and I hope then you are able to forgive yourself.” With that she picked up her broom and leapt off the ground. At that moment Harry returned with the cookies, gazing at Ginny jump off the ground. He sat next to his mother without any questions and leaned next to her. “I forgive you but I’m not sure if she ever will.” Minstrel Knights's - Mage_and_Warrior
“It's no wonder he looks so tired and thin when he gets to Hogwarts,” Tonks continued in an awestruck voice, “he's doing every girl within two hours walking of his house . . . half their mothers too. Never thought I'd see one boy service and satisfy twelve women. Not only did Harry do it, he wore them all out and made three 'rest' stops on the way back to his room at the Dursley house.” -Rorschachs Blot's Loophole and Afairs omake
Snape, it can safely be assumed, despised children. Most teachers do, but Snape had elevated it to a state well beyond normal boundaries. With his rather unique training in certain areas of magic and absolutely nil instruction in the area of teaching, Snape was to education what Voldemort was to life insurance. It had been eight years since the last official complaint against him, which said much for his campaign of intimidation. -'s A_Mistaken_Sorting
“To the Boy Who Lived,” he said dryly, raising his glass – and wondered for a moment which one he meant, the real one or the supposed one, before deciding it hardly mattered. “Long may he continue to distract the Dark Lord from me.” ... “Touché. But that’s alright, nobody in my family knows my name either.” There was a moment of absolute disassociation. Snape felt he could probably have been stabbed in the head with an ice pick right in front of him and Harry wouldn’t have noticed, let alone cared. Potters, he thought.
Harry was rather quiet as he ate the ice cream Hagrid had brought him (chocolate and raspberry with chopped nuts).“Yum,” Sirius said. A bowl of ice-cream appeared in front of him. He dug in, and the way he ate made Ron look like he’d been to finishing school. -Know-It-All-Bookworm's What_To_Do
“Freed,” Buffy said, lifting her arms. The correctional cuffs peeked out from underneath the end of her sleeves. “I’m free?” With a kind smile, Qui-Gon nodded. “Yes. You are.” Buffy blinked once more, then launched herself at the Jedi, wrapping her arms around his neck. It was obvious that Qui-Gon was not used to such displays of affection, and awkwardly held her by the waist as she hugged him. “Buffy,” he said hoarsely. “I understand you are grateful, but I’m having a rather difficult time breathing.” “Oh, sorry,” she said, letting go. “I sometimes forget Buffy shouldn’t squeeze the puppy to hard or it’ll go to heaven.” He tilted his head but laughed. “You are a strange one,” he said. -Winterd's Phantoms_and_Slayers
“I’m driving,” Manuel declared suddenly and grabbed the keys from Trevor who was forced to climb quickly into the front passenger seat or risk being left behind. Harry couldn’t help but grin when he noticed the white knuckles of Trevor’s hands as ‘Uncle Trevor’ gripped the ‘oh shit handle’ of the car tightly. -Shade Dancer's Blood_Prince
“As soon as I contact Lupin, you will be moved elsewhere.” He said coldly. The weakness disappeared as Sirius spun around and glared fiercely in the Potion Master’s eyes, “You can’t keep me from my godson, Snivellus. I’ll hurt you if you try.” “No, you won’t.” Severus smirked and the expression only enraged Sirius more. “Because if you do, you will be hurting Harry. And if you do that, I will destroy you. Harry can’t handle your insanity right now. Therefore; you will leave. You will not sulk or upset Harry before you leave and only when I deem you competent will you be allowed visiting rights.” -SensiblyTaimted's Broken_Mind_Fractured_Soul
No, not that all Quidditch players are predisposed to end up mad, although that’s a good theory if mine is bunk. I think that Quidditch attracts the unstable element of the wizarding world. -SilverWolf7007's Harrys_Sanity
“What? If you told Justin that it was over and he kept bothering you, I’d remove his teeth, what makes me special? If Daphne is happier without me, I can live with that.” Hermione pulled him into a hug. “What did you do when you found out?” “Oh, I threw quite a tantrum. Dobby was deliriously happy with all the things that needed repair.” -Clell65619's Harry_Potter_and_the_Marriage_Contracts
Ellen flushed from embarrassment, but said, "Don't make me more than I am, Harry. I am not perfect." "No," Harry teased, "you're not. Your left little toe is a bit bent, and you stole the sheet last night." -'s The Younger Potter Twin: Truths
“A ugly bugger of a human you see has six children, them are like seedlings” one the plants said to the other with a deep voice, “And he figures he’s got the brightest petals in the row, so he calls his wife "Mother of Six" And she doesn’t like it,” “What’s with the human jokes,” the other flower complained in a squeaky voice. “I’m getting to the funny bit,” the other flowered complained. “This is a excellent one,” Professor Pod added, nodding his head as he spoke “At least someone appreciates me,” the flower said. “Don’t get your leaves in a twist,” the other squeaked. “Well one night they go to a party. The male got bored and he wants to know if the female wants to go home.” “How do you tell the males and females apart again,” the flower squeaked. The other flower seemed determined to reach the punch line, “So he shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"” the flower paused for a moment, “And she calls back "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four." You get it?” Professor Pod chuckled appropriately. The other flower swayed slightly, “No.” “Not all the seedlings were pollinated by the same bee, understand.” “What is unusual about that?” “You’re hopeless,” the one flower decreed. “I think I’ll set you apart for a little bit,” Professor Pod decided. He put one of the flower pots beside something that resembled a small palm tree and the other was placed on an overturned bucket. The one on the bucket began to sing, “There once was a girl from Nantucket Who crossed the sea in a bucket, And when she got there They asked for a fare So she pulled up her dress and said– ” “Silencio,” Professor Pod cast. He smiled warmly at the class, most of whom were snickering as they had managed to complete the rhyme on their own. -Worfe's Timely_Errors
Harry spoke over his shoulder. "Call me Harry, Rully." Rully nearly passed out. Turning to Dobby with a look of absolute horror on his small face, he exclaimed. "Rully can’t do THAT!" Dobby shook his head condescendingly. "Harry sir not normal. Not like long name. Call Harry sir like Dobby. Or Master Harry. Short name better." Rully gulped and nodded, and Harry, who had been eavesdropping as he walked away, grinned. He’d struck yet another blow in the fight for normalcy Harry Potter style... Once again the house elf came as summoned. "Harry sir?" "Sorry to keep bothering you, Dobby." Dobby sent Harry a look that fully implied that the man was somewhat slow in the head. "Dobby wants to help Harry sir. Not bothering Dobby at all." "Yes, well, could you take this potion down to the other wizards for me?" Harry handed it over. -krtshadow's Redemption
Introduction by Zilphid Gaulp, observer for the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, whose owners include Padfoot, Prongs, Moony and in theory, wormtail. -Chris Hill's Mr_Black_Omake_Collection
Elizabeth watched Harry. He looked up and into her eyes. He raised a brow Elizabeth chuckled. "Harry, what are we going to do with you? You absolutely have planned to withdraw and disappear?" "I don't really like people, Elizabeth. I mean, you and all the people I'm meeting lately are okay, but in large groups something happens to people and their brains stop working. They turn into really annoying sheep." Elizabeth looked startled for a moment and then laughed, "I have to keep you away from Phillip-that sounds like something he would say. You seem to have a very black and white view of the world, though, Harry." -Selector11's Harry Potter and the Witche's Secret
"Merlin, did you fall and hit your head? Emmeline, Tonks, Amelia, and Hestia have been back to work. They have undoubtedly emplaced one or more of these stones here in the Ministry." Lester opened his mouth to dispute this and then the lightbulb came on. "So how many did we lose?" "None. Makes me wonder if they work really. I mean, I took Kathleen down there on purpose and she just breezed right in there. The Ministry has lost several, though." "James! That's your own wife you're talking about." "Yeah, that's why I took her. I know for sure she's evil."
"I never thought I'd set foot on this island," Trask whispered, pulling his robes closer around himself, but keeping his wand raised in defence. "I kind of always knew I would," Harry shrugged. -Jpe6991 Harry_Potter_and_the_Defiance_of_the_Hero
The slayer herself gave the blonde vampire a bottle of tomato sauce and a barbecue fork. The tomato sauce everyone understood but the barbecue fork only Jason seemed to get and once he did, he rolled around on the floor laughing for two minutes straight before crawling over to the slayer and proposing to her. Micah once again had to step in and kidnap the damsel in distress. Buffy made no move to defend herself. She only mumbled something about beer and cavemen before warning Micah not to get near her with a club. -FaithUnbreakable's Lunar
“I don't understand,” Hermione said, turning to him. “We're all showing that we've been drinking. That bet just now is proof of that. But you look stone-cold sober!” “Bad youth,” Harry answer, shrugging. “Living where I live, I've been sneaking into Aunt Petunia's liquor cabinet since I was eight. It was the only way to get by. It'll take a lot stronger than this to drop me.” Dumbledore gave the young man a pitying look filled with remorse. -Enterprise1701-d's The_Poker_Game
“My sister, as much as I love her, has only a passing friendship with sanity..." -Narcissa about Bellatrix somewhere in Jeconais's This_Means_War
The plasma turned out to be the most poisonous, although there seemed to be a factor counteracting the worst of it. The red blood cells seemed ordinary on the surface, as did the white blood cells. It was when the coffee was tested that the problems began. The plasma had no reaction to the coffee. The red blood cells were almost - Paracitic - in their efforts to get to the brown liquid. After absorbing the coffee, all that was left was a clear liquid, which when tested, was energized, as were the red blood cells. The same thing happened with the white blood cells when tested. -Chris Hill's Its In The Blood
“You know what they say about people who assume,” Harry scolded. “But yes. I’ve made my decision.” The world waited with bated breath. God began to bite his nail nervously. The wind called the grass on her cell phone, asking how things were going. The grass didn’t communicate her message of love to the earth, since they still weren’t speaking. -dress-without-sleeve's Decision
You hear the joke about how the Ministry's decided to give Black the lead in fighting the death eaters?" The Unspeakable took a gulp of his drink. "Tell us," one of the others raised his hand to signal another round. "Well, he got the late Umbitch, the Aurors, and Black all together and then he let a rabbit loose in the forbidden forest." The Unspeakable giggled, "said that whoever caught the rabbit first would get the title of the best and be given the job of tracking down all the death munchers. Umbitch took one look at the forest and concluded that rabbits don't exist. The Aurors went in with fifty men and came out with ten . . . having fought a great battle with the rabbit and barely escaped with their lives. And Mr. Black . . . he didn't even bother to show up . . . three days later, the rabbit died . . . of 'natural causes'" The men roared with laughter until one managed to gain enough self control to speak, "don't you mean that the rabbit died . . . in an 'accident'" This of course set off another round of laughter, needless to say that the joke wasn't appreciated when it finally made its way to the Department of Magical Incompetents . . . err . . . that is to say the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, sorry about that typo earlier. -Rorschach's Blots's Make_A_Wish
"About anything." Cordelia agreed. She looked down at the table, for once reluctant to speak her thoughts aloud, then she squared her shoulders, looked up at Giles and said bluntly "She waiting to die, isn't she?" -Angelic Vampyre's Truth
Oh, yeah. Simon. I remember him." Mal, for some reason, was grinning just slightly. "Isn't he the short one who's always arguin' with me? Has this crazy notion that he knows better than I do?" Zoe's lush lips curved in a small smile. "I do believe he's also the one who keeps complainin' about how you ain't fair and he doesn't like your rules, sir." "And isn't he also the one who makes it perfectly clear that he disapproves of the way I dress, the way I talk, the way I eat my food, and the way I fix my hair? And goes out of his way to do all those things exactly the way I don't just to be irritating?" Mal was grinning now. Wash grinned too. "I'm hearing vague echoes of someone from my past... someone who thought How-ayan shirts were ridiculous and kept trying to make me wear a cravat." "You know, now I think on it, there is a definite 'you ain't the boss of me' comin' up against 'I am while you're under my roof, young man' to the way they argue, ain't there?" Kaylee was beaming. -Dyce's Miranda
“Okay, I’ll give you that.” Lex went on, “The richer was a charmer while the smarter could be quite rude.” “The richer was an asshole who couldn’t cook his own food.” “The smarter should really change his attitude from the norm, considering he left his wallet in my dorm.” Sam patted at his pockets and groaned. “The smarter swears his mouth will be still, if the good rich man would please take the bill.” (Sam Winchester and Lex Luthor in) -mute90's College Bound
The Favorites Section can only hold 150 fics. So here are those that you mustmustmust read.
Evil Be Though My Good Harry solves a puzzle box with a haunting tune. It is what the Dark Lord knows not, a gateway to hell.
Don't Touch Me Harry has never liked to be touched. To him, touch represents fear and pain, punishment and anger. Can Ginny break through his defences and teach him the joy of touch? One-shot.Its a Harry/Ginny oneshot with mostly some angst in it. Basically, it examines Harry's aversion to touch that once began with a boy in a cupboard.
Crossed Lines is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer Buffy/Angel fic. It's been out 'on the market' for a while and is very good. Bitter love turned to bitter hate make for a wild ride for the slayer and the vampire with a soul. Its a sequel to a oneshot that I dont believe is nearly as good, but this one I like a lot. SMUt of both the loving and purely sexual kind. Lots of angst.
Crapshoot is another Btvs Buffy/Angel fic. Actually, it's more of a Buffy/Angelus kinda... anyway, years in the future, things have happened. The 'End of Days' has passed yet again. SMUt with a usual side of angst and alert.
Hary_Potter_&_The_New_Life Harry Potter is transfered to another universe after Voldemort dies where his parents, Sirius, and everyone he ever new is alive. There are differences though; with sisters, a brother Black 'cousins' and Neville as the BWL, how is the supposed 'prodigy' to get on knowing he will still have to defeat Voldemort and that his beloved Ginny may no longer be a part of his life? Unfinished and not updated for a long time. Lots of girls like Harry and he is a SuperHarry of a sort. There are possibilities for H/OC but lots of 'love' between Harry/Ginny (yay!); there are also tiny hints for a harem but there is nothing sure.
The_Calm_Before_the_Storm This is just a oneshot but i like the idea. It's one of those Snape-goes-into-shock-when-Harry's-kids-come-to-school fics, though it's a oneshot. It's most likely Harry/Harem with some Neville/Luna slightly hinted at. At 2952 words, it spouts out his kids seperating themselves into Houses and spreading the fun.
Previously asked for:
Under Seigeby Dens Serpentis. Basically, Death Eaters attack Hogwarts and the teachers are no longer able to do anything. Harry takes charge despite his protests, and the students begin to take charge. This only has two or three chapters and is definetley WIP.
Like a Phoenix from the Ashes by Kinsfire..Dumbledore friendly that starts off as Harry/Ginny. Charlie and Bill are assholes though and fake Harry havingan affair with Pansy. Later, Harry is in a relationship with Hermione, Luna, Susan, and Pansy. It's still a WIP but it is pretty long already.
In Memory I is by Becka. Basically, when Harry is sent to the Dursleys, some Death Eaters stick around to watch him as Shadows, and the Dursleys are real ass holes (rape, abuse, neglect, ect.) and the shadows kind of fall in love with Harry and treat him as thier lord kind. In Hogwarts, he gets a dual sorting, Gryff/Slyth, and promotes house relationship. H/Draco and H/SS, though I am not that fond of those pairings. Its a WIP that hasn't been updated in a while.
Celestial Requim Cynical and worn out from the meaningless descrimination in the wizarding world, Harry returns to Hogwarts for his sixth year a different person with a new hobby. Along with another, he ropes Hermione and Draco into writing under an alias. Harry's alias? Harrison Evans.. writer extrodinaire.
Black and Twilight by Feneris the Elf. The Potters, a long line of the darkest of the dark lords. The Dursleys, The Weasleys, and Hogwarts now has to survive a boy named Harry Potter. Who comes from a family even more feared then Voldemort himself. I like this a lot. It centers on humor though there are plenty of inconsistancies-of course, wizards and witches are known for having little if none common sense.
First Place Sinner In which Harry has Petunia's love, though it makes him bleed. Rated M For masochism, drug abuse, and other mature themes. Okay, it's really creapy with underage drinking, abuse, neglect, drug use, death, and Penance with a capital P. It's defenitly one of those haunting horrors... and with everything, Harry is still our dark Harry.
Recapturing_the_Past Almost two years ago Harry finally destroyed the Dark Lord at great personal cost. So just who is this Jason McKnight and what does he have to do with Harry Potter?... I love this little fic though it is a H/HR but not explicitly. 'Jason McKnight' is a young man w/o a past and happy to leave it that way. Only, on a visit to the Queen to string his fingers on the piano chords the OOtP becomes aware of him and Snape's petty revenge on James Potter's son will ruin everything. I read this a long time ago and I still love it.
DISCLAIMER
Anything I write is all mine. But, I do not own Harry Potter, who belongs to JK Rowling, Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel, or Firefly/Serenity who belongs to Joss Whedon Marti Nixon and co. of Mutant Enemy, Charmed, who belongs to whoever made it and then aired it, CSI, ('m not really sure who came up with that) or anything else you may find me writing. I do this for enjyment, to fend off boredom as well as the muses who constantly fly about me and make my life hell, and make sure my fingers still know how to write... plus my fingers have been itching to write plenty of ideas ever since I found out about fan fiction. Anything OC is ALL MINE! If you want something of mine, just post a proper discalimer letting everyone who reads your own story know that whatever it is you borrowed is MINE... did I miss anything?
Okay.. the thing is that I have a ton of ideas, and multiple muses that co-exist.. randomly. I will post chapters at random, so you might as well favorite or alert me if there is something you wanna wait for. As you can see below, I am very bad at updating on schedule. sighs I'm really sorry about that.
Lady Vengeance:
This is my series starter with my own unique ideas as to how Immortals, Slayers, and Watchers began. I will add little tidbits here and there as my fingers feel to drum. Personally, I am very proud of this, and greatful that I actually finished the 3-part pro-fic. And in 3 days, no less.
Following this fic are a few WIP-fics and one-shots:
-Drums.. -Drabble- a seer has a vision.
-Dying Days.. -WIP- xover. An object of old resurfaces; post S7 btvs. (I haven't gotten many reviews and have forgotten half of what I wanted to do with this so reviews and ideas are welcome)
A Thought In Time.. -One Shot- Buffy remembers post-Empty Places of another time she was empty and cold.
-Before Hard School, They Met.. -One Shot- Buffy and Spike have met before. Is still Buffy/Angel
-10 Things That Might Have Happened to Elisibitanne.. -Drabbles- one of the drabble-pouches of Buffy in my Legend world.
Okay, okay, I'll let you get onto all the good stuff. But first, I'd just like you to know that I am always plagued with tons of little ideas, so if you're having troubles thinking, you can always just get a hold of me. Smiles sweetly.
-Piper/Leo-Phoebe/Cole-Phoebe/(her boyfriend/boss)-Prue/Andy: Okay.. the thing is that I have a ton of ideas, and multiple muses that co-exist.. randomly. I will post chapters at random, so you might as well favorite or alert me if there is something you wanna wait for. As you can see below, I am very bad at updating on schedule. sighs I'm really sorry about that.Okay, okay, I'll let you get onto all the good stuff. But first, I'd just like you to know that I am always plagued with tons of little ideas, so if you're having troubles thinking, you can always just get a hold of me. --Smiles sweetly.-
Random Stuff
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects...copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus put this on your profile.
If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.
If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile
If you ever called your teacher mum or dad copy this into your profile.
If you are a Weasley Twin Worshipper, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever read /started to read a chapter in a fanfiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have spent a long time wishing that Hogwarts was actually a place, copy this onto your profile!
If you think that Voldermort is NOT cute copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you like Sirius Black copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've bookmarked about ten billion fanfiction stories, copy and paste this into your profile
If you love little kid movies like Fox and the Hound even if you're over ten years old and you love loving them, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think cancer is awful, put this in your profile.
If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble, put this in your profile.
If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profile
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever gotten high on sugar, copy and paste on your profile.
If when you go to sleep you can hear songs that you haven't heard in three years copy this to your profile.
If you have embarrasing memories that make you want to smack yourself/ someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tried to fly without a plane or any other flying machine/type thing, and SUCCEEDED, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever fallen asleep in a class, paste this to your profile
If YOU get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If your fashion sense is “is it comfortable?” before "does it look fashionable?" then copy this into your profile
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.
You know you live in 2007 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
Notice: To all those who think Homophobia is wrong and want to fight for a better future for our gay and lesbian and Bi friends, please repost this into your profile: "This is the boy, Matthew Shepard. On October 7, 1998 Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson lead him to a remote area east of Laramie where they demonstrated unimaginable acts of hate. Matthew was tied to a split-rail fence where he was beaten and left to die in the cold of the night. Almost 18 hours later he was found by a cyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow. Matthew died on October 12 at 12:53 am at a hospital in Fort Collins, Colorado. KILLED BECAUSE HE WAS GAY!! "
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
92 of teens have moved onto rap. If you are part of the 8 that still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your sig.
Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list, Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992, WanderingTeen, Za Webmaster Authoress, Plutobaby494, Goddessa39
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile
If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-- are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
Oh. My. God.I've read the sadest thing ever-it was on someone elses profile and you have to read it:
My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I can not see.
I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm sradishing to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I sradish to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.
child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Isn't that sad? I post this poem in memory of all children who have been hurt by child abuse. This is should be in everyones profiles-spread the message!
The Procrastinator's Creed:
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.
Month one
Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two
Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three
You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.
Month Four
Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five
You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six
I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!
Month Seven
Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
>Post this on your profile if you hate racism
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love
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So effin funny!!:
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he
asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
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HELP!
Also, a Beta-Reader is welcome. I've gotten one or two people willing, but the more the Merryer.. I'm currently working on many fics, and I've written a few chappies on one that I've been planning for a long time. If anyone is willing to read an HP Harry/Ginny fic or an H/OC fic, then please email me and help.
Help- HP STORY- This is one with humor in it where Harry goes back in time somehow and is Salazar Slytherin. The Gryfindor/Slytherin war is actually started between Sirius (whom had fallen through the veil to the past) who is apparently Godric's brother and Harry in pranking.
Help- Buffy the Vampire Slayer STORY- This one is a oneshot I believe, or maybe a twoshot with the visible characters being Buffy and Willow and sorta Angel, Cordelia and Riley I think. Buffy/Angel of course though. Okay, so while Buffy is in college, Angel dies and she feels it. She's in bed and just like souldying and crying and stuff when Riley comes to find her nonresponsive. He gets Willow and she tells him to leave and then Cordelia calls to give them the news. Buffy already knew of course. It's really angsty and sorta dark but I have not seen it in a long time and want to find it.
HELP!
Be aware that on Monday, August 25th, I will be starting College for the first time. Not only will things be new to me but it will allow me a lot less time to do, well, anything.
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