Hiyas! I'm a humor writer mostly, I enjoy humor and cheesy plots. LOL! I do have some serious novels out there, two in fact. I LOVE StarFox, as you can probably tell by my fics. I also love Spider-man, X-Men, Spongebob, Star Trek (Every series), Star Wars, Garfield, Peanuts, and a host of others. I intend to put out a Spongebob fic soon, and am considering writing Star Wars. I had a Spider-Man fic on here but it was in chat script and so was deleted. (Sigh) Someday I'll make an effort to convert it to prose and repost it. It is humorous (Of course!) My favorite things to do are play video games, write, and watch Superfriends reruns on telivision. (I TOLD you I love cheesy plots!)

Good Advice to Follow: Plan ahead--It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

Remember: Worry is a darkroom where negatives develop.

Now, if you can say YES to any of these questions, STAY AWAY FROM THE KITCHEN!!

Does your family heads for the dinner table whenever they hear a fire alarm?

Has anyone ever chipped a tooth on your homemade yogurt?

When your kid goes out to make mud pies, does the rest of the family grab forks and follow him?

Did the same kid get even with the neighborhood bully by inviting him over to dinner?

No matter WHAT you do, does the gravy still end up bright purple?

Wonderfully Amazing Home Remedies!

If you are choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Walla! No more ice cube.

Avoid cutting yourself chopping vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a bunch of laxatives--you'll be too scared to cough.

You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape.

Remember: Everyone SEEMS normal until you get to know them.

Well, we all know good ol' Murphy, the Ultimate Pessimist, who wrote Murphy's Law. And of course, Murphy couldn't leave out computers, so here you are: Murphy's Laws on Computers.

As soon as you delete a worthless file, you'll need it.

Installing a new program will always mess up at least one old one.

You can't win them all, but you can sure lose them all.

The likelihood of a hard disk crash is directly proportional to the value of the material that hasn't been backed up.

There's only two types of computer users: Those whose hard drives have crashed, and those whose hard drives haven't crashed--yet.

Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it. If you fiddle with it long enough, you'll break it.

And while I'm at it, here's a few, lesser known men and their own law of averages:

Brooke's Law: Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some fool discovers something that either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.

Flon's Law: There is not now, and never will be, a language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad programs.

Pruedhomme's Law of Window Cleaning: It's on the other side.

Cole's Law: Thinly sliced strips of cabbage.

And finally, we end this pointless little shenanagen with Quotable Quotes:

It's easy to ID people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.--June Henderson

There is no distinctly native American criminal class exept Congress.--Mark Twain

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute--Josh Billings

"Just because you have no morals of any kind doesn't mean I don't."--Bob Lombardi in A Day in the Life of Falco.

I do not own Star Fox. I do not own Star Wolf. I do own a rubber ducky named Melvin, but he's not in this story.--StarVix

Love is sentamental measels--Anonymous

Put your nose to the Grindstone!--Amalgamated Plastic Surgeons and Toolmakers, Ltd

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics prove that the people who have the most live the longest.--Rev. Larry Lorenzoni

"If I don't get my quota of 80 cups of coffee a day, I start to feel normal!"--Slippy Toad in Confessions

You learn from experience. A man never wakes up his second baby just to see it smile--Grace Williams

Anything free is worth what you paid for it.--Anonymous

"Three guesses, and the first two don't count"--Fox McCloud in Day in the Life of Slippy

Oops! Am I spoiling the surprise? Well, too bad!--Starvix

The more we disagree, the more chances there are that one of us is right.--Anonymous

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, your dog would go in, and you would stay out.--Mark Twain

"Why does everybody bother me with these things? It's like they think I'm the captain, or something."--Captain Picard in Star Trek: The Real Deal

We don't really have any enemies. It's just that some of our best friends are trying to kill us.--Anonymous

"Legend tells of a legendary warrior, who's exploits were the stuff of legends."--Po in Kung Fu Panda

May your tounge stick to the roof of your mouth with the force of a thousand caramels.--Anonymous

"Can't you see we're talking about me?"--Garfield in The Adventures of the Caped Avenger!

I wish I owned X-Men. I also wish I had a million dollars. Sadly, neither one is true. . .--StarVix

I don't believe in astrology. I'm a Sagittarian and we're skeptical.--Charles Schultz

I owe a lot to my parents. Especially my mother and father.--Greg Norman

"The X-Men will all fall to the might of the Twinkie Goblin!"--Mr. Sinister in The Hunt for Aspirin

Any semblance of sanity I held onto dissolved during this chapter.--StarVix

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.--Anonymous

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness that you like.--Jackie Mason

The Vogon ship hung in the air much the same way bricks don't.--Douglas Adams

"You who have released evil into the world, I command you to. . .DANCE!"--The Mysterious Black Box in Paper Mario Bros: The Thousand Year Door

Review. And if you want to flame, you can borrow my flamethrower--StarVix