10/31/11: Wow, a bi-annual update?! I'm really spoiling you guys! I'm supposed to be like a UFO sighting. I'll never get a sacrificial cult in my honor started with such regular appearances... (It has occurred to me since my last post that "In my day we had only three wild arms" is something an aging cephalopod maimed in a fishing accident would yell defensively at passing young octopodes with eight healthy, intact limbs).
Now that we've had our one-sided banter to quell the hunger of my massive ego, it's announcement time! I'm writing again. Adding, *shudder* plot to TBSOD, including some romantic insinuations that have no right existing. Despite earlier laziness, I've realized that it really is best to rewrite all the old chapters, some completely. Once I update using the revisions, I'll post the original versions on my LiveJournal (linked above) for anyone who's curious. Thanks to anyone sticking with me.

6/10/11: This is sad: I only update yearly, and that yearly update is only a profile blurb. Weep for me, friends... I have no motivation and I must try. But a miracle has happened! I've begun working on new chapters of TBSOD, and it's been easier going than at first imagined. I'm also going back (for the second time) and editing old chapters--a few are particularly heinous, but nothing short of a complete re-tool could salvage them, and I don't have that kind of energy, folks. I'm gettin' promoted in the year department, ya hear me? Though my writing has turned so dark and absurdist these days that returning to comedy is a huge relief. I hope the new updates will be as enjoyable to read as ever (maybe even more so!). Gotta make a good impression on these new whipper-snappers! 'Why back in my day we only had THREE Wild Arms...!'

12/19/10:Just wanted to thank all the people still favoriting my stories. I don't plan on wiping this account (hate when people do that!) and actually would love to update some of the shit stagnating here. One bad thing that's happened with me phasing myself out of old accounts is that I've lost track of some great people who it's been nothing but a pleasure to know, and I'd like to stop that unintentional regression.

4/15/09: 'Oh, look at me! I'm so important everyone wants to know what I'm doing and when I did it!' ...Alright, so you'll notice there's a massive hiatus in my updating schedule... I do plan on finishing The Bad Side of Desire sometime before the four horsemen loom menacingly over the horizon, but with that story dies my account here. I've said some really stupid things and posted some really stupid things (okay, mainly said, but, God--remember that Seventh Tower parody? No? THAT'S BECAUSE I DELETED IT) that I regret upon further reflection.

If you're still--oh, beyond a doubt you all are--interested in seeing any new stuff I post (mainly very, very strange wrestling and Transformers stories), click the Send Message button and ask for my new account name. All the 'Currently Working On' stuff will someday end up there. Someday...

That is all. Peace.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

MERRY NEW YEAR.

JULY 4TH.

Right now working on (because it's more fun when you see the trains coming before they crash):

In Venice (Shakespeare/Merchant of Venice): Shylock is a pimp, living surrounded by hatred in a suburban town. When Bassanio (the player) wishes to marry a beautiful woman in the city, will Shylock at last get his revenge on Bassanio's emo friend, Antonio?

Kindly Stop for Me! (Deadpool): Death is easy--it's dying that's the hard part.

Childhood's Rape (Childhood's End): The new neighbors meet the less... conventional artists of New Athens.

Congregate to Annihilate (Pikmin): He only trusts them as far as he can throw them.

Blood Dixie (Wrestling): Jimmy Wang Yang has an existential crisis that goes extra-terrestrial.

Good luck with the ficcy business, peoples. So...bye.