Author has written 35 stories for Tales of Symphonia, World Ends With You, Portal, and Team Fortress 2.
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
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A lunatic is just a minority of one.
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Oim an angry Aussie bloke who doesn't shower an' collects moi own piss! Think oi wanna 'ave sex with Spoi! Bettah angst about it for foive pages 'fore we 'ave a go at it without any lube!
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Author Stats as of May 4, 2013:
You are on the favorites list of 117 members.
You are on the author alert list of 100 members.
You have submitted a total of 760 signed reviews.
Total words archived: 180,496 words.
Average number of words per story: 5,014
Total views to Profile Page: 17,990
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I am Faux, renegade fandom-dweller and writer of all topics and pairings that you don't care about. Here are my rules.
1. I am not going to be nice to you because you have an army of fangirls.
2. I am not going to be nice to you because you're underage.
3. I am not going to give out servile praise.
4. If I do praise your writing, I do mean it.
Here's an actual profile now:
Location: Northern California
Zodiac: Aquarius in the Western one, Horse in the Chinese one. For all of my life I thought I was a Sheep, but then I found out I was born right near the cusp of where the signs change and was actually a Horse.
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral, according to the official test. :)
Bands: The Postal Service, They Might Be Giants, Evanescence, No Doubt, The Hush Sound, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, REM, Cake, Everclear, Weezer, Reel Big Fish.
Shows: Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Invader Zim, South Park, Dragonball Z, My Little Pony: FiM, Chowder, Flapjack, MST3K, Ghost Adventures, Tru TV's World's Dumbest, Beavis & Butthead, Samurai Jack.
Movies: Pirates of the Caribbean (the first two only, third one sucked), K-PAX, Team America, I Robot, Wild Wild West, Sweeney Todd, 1408, WALL-E.
Games: Mostly, RPGs. Final Fantasy series, Tales of Symphonia, Fallout, Borderlands, Team Fortress 2, Left 4 Dead, Katamari series, Harvest Moon, Portal, World Ends With You, Disgaea, Okage, Okami, Spyro the Dragon, Crash Bandicoot, Dark Cloud. I like video games a lot and probably will for the rest of my life. ;p They're mentally stimulating, if you know which ones to play.
Likes: Reading, writing, Photoshop experimenting, video games, talking to animals, the smell after it rains, warm places, debating, analyzing problems that are way beyond my control, all-weather friends, baking, explaining things to other people, improper fractions, getting top comment on Youtube, laughing until I have tears in my eyes, collecting things, being right.
Dislikes: Slash. I'm cutting out the long explanation here. I just don't like reading it. I'm so sorry to everyone if that personally offends you, but it's really not your right to tell me what I should enjoy reading. Nobody ever criticizes the weeaboos who exclusively read and write slash (or usually yaoi) but if you don't like slash you're suddenly some kind of homophobe. Which is just an idiotic word to begin with, just like 'racist', that people use to fling at anyone who dares to disagree with their group mindset. Spare me the argument as to why not reading slash is offensive to gays, but portraying homosexuality as strongly rooted in rape/pedophilia/promiscuity isn't offensive.
I also don't read (non-trolling) porn on here. Of course, that means I don't write it either.
I do not hold anything against people who do enjoy slash and/or porn, I just don't like it myself.
Fandom Guide For Beginners
as quoted by [redacted]
Step 1.) Insert yourself into fandom you have no real business being in. You don't give a jack shit about anything or anyone in it, aside from one or two pretty faces, those faces you've most assuredly fantasized and exaggerated the actual prettiness of thanks to being an anime obsessed weeaboo who can't see anything beyond bishi uguu kawaii yaoi desu gays r' hawt!
Step 2.) Reduce the character or characters you've so obviously devoted every moment of your life to, to a simple pair of genitals. Bonus points if you know absolutely nothing about those genitals but you pretend like you do, and everyone else believes it! Or better yet... project yourself into that character! That way all of your mental instabilities, insecurities, disturbing behavioral issues, TMI fucked up sexual perversions, and all other creepy socially unacceptable personal quirks will show through to everyone else in the public space! Write what you know...and what do you know better than yourself...and how awful a human being you are!
Step 3.) Create an endless stream of horrifying kawaii uguu rape-porn sex fetishizing fantasies for yourself to wank to on those lonely, lonely nights, remembering the previous step. The character's canon personality shouldn't come through in the slightest. This is your personal porno fantasy, right?
Besides, nobody wants to see you portray the canon character(s) you've latched onto as a shallow means of sexual self-gratification as how they are in the actual canon, aka somewhat reasonably intelligent beings with dignity and the ability to focus on something other than fucking and masturbating or listening to Linkin Park CDs while cutting themselves. No one will understand how cruel the world is to a Transtrending Goth Omisexual Multiple System Based Na'vi Nekojin Sephiroth Goddess Soulbonder unless you tell them, and what better way to do it than using your favorite fictional character who is absolutely nothing like you as a mouthpiece!
Step 4.) Inexplicably gain a giant fanbase of mindless drones who worship the genital fluid soaked ground you walk on.
Step 5.) Direct that drooling hive-mind to help you to strike down anyone who dares suggest in the slightest that some people out there do read fanfic and search for fanart based directly on canon, not on some raging adult-child sick fuck's personal fuck fetish fantasy. Fans who don't know or care jack shit about canon and are only hanging around a fandom for free porn handouts of their favorite fanon interpreted bishies are the easiest to manipulate into doing whatever you want.
Nobody can bad talk you for this, either. You're only doing it for For Great Social Justice, Desu!! Those people who think opinions outside your own are totally stupid canon Nazi Fundie gay haters who are jealous of your amazing writing or art skillz and popularity. Be sure to remind them of that every time you post a whiny counter-rant about them and their shitty opinion and then block them from ever responding to you.
Step 6.) Reduce all opposition to zero through constant harassment and fear brought on by you and your hordes of White Knights. Congratulations now you and your buddies own the entire fucking fandom! You may now fap and produce whatever insanely OOC fuckery you please to your content without worrying about somebody expressing an alternative opinion to yours.
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