Hehe, I haven’t been on here in ages. If you want to see some of my newer stories, as well as pics, please check me out at http://wavemaker989.deviantart.com/ Thanks.

--( ) ( ) This is Pastoolio the
--( o o ) Terra hating bunny
-( ) _ ( ) If you hate Terra,
( _ ) ( _ )Copy this into your profile

TERRA IS EVIL. If you agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Raven flies with me, Wave Maker

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it gets weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

If you have read a moronic story, enjoyed it, and ran off to write your own, copy this and put it in your profile

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this and put it in your profile.

Put this in your profile if you ever pushed a door that says pull.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Quotes from my life:

"Noah": -Reading from Yo Mamma is so... to the teacher- "Hey, you got that far away look. The farther away you get, the better you look!"
Mr. B: At least, unlike you, I look good at some distance.

You know I'm like butter cause I'm on a roll. - Lee

Bucky: I like the Harry Potter Jelly Beans, they taste like the real thing, even the grass ones!
My mom: How do you know?
Bucky: You don't want to know...

WM: This is your brain - points to peice of paper- This is your brain on drugs -pushes paper over the edge of table-
Lee: ...More like your brain on gravity...

WM: Guess what! I'm going to be super nice for 40 days!
Mid: What?! What heavenly action has caused this?!

-Watching the waterfall scene of Apocalypto-
Daniel: As long as he doesn't hit a rock, there's a 10 percent chance of him living.
Dad: Yeah, but there's that 90 percent chance of dying I'm afraid of.

WM: -Phoenix and Pixie show up after the rest of the group has been talking about Heroes-Phoenix, what would you do if you had radiation manipulation powers that could blow up New York?
Pixie and Phoenix: -look at each other and then back to WM- Blow up New York...

Brian: -swtiching two desks around-
Mrs. L: Brian! What are you doing!?
Brian: My desk is too small for me!
Mrs. L: Then why don't you just switch sides?
Brian: ...That's a good idea...

Student: How do we know if it's an acid or a base?
Mr. A: By our definitions that we covered on the days that you weren't here and that I wore a polo on.
Same Student: You wore a polo!?
Mr. A: Yeah, I think I might wear one everyday because everyday I wear one, you're not here!

Mr. T: What are the 3 ways you can transfer charges?
David: Um...static...contact...um...
Mr. T: The last one starts with an 'i'
David: -instantly- Intercourse?
Mr. T: No, is that the first thing you though of?
David: Sadly, yes.

WM: -singing- She blinded me with science!
M: It's easy to blind someone with science! Just take a chemical-
WM: Hazardous chemical!
M: Take careful aim and throw it at someone. Then they're like 'I'm blind!' with Science!

M: Hey! Condensation has formed on this side
WM: There's nothing there
M: Yes there is! I can feel something on this side!
WM: Chloe, that's rust...
Mrs. S: Kids, rust is not condensation...

M: -To JS- You spelled interesting with two s's.
WM: What?! There aren't even any s's in interesting!
M: In- ter- REST- ing...
WM and JS: Oh yeah...

WM: -looks up at sky- Hey! An airplane!
M: Cool, is it crashing to the ground?
WM: No- maybe... -evil grin, begins to rub hands together in a plotting way and looks back at airplane- If all goes as planned...

Matt: Brian, I'm a ninja.
Brian: I'm half ninja...
WM: I'm not a ninja, but I'm an assassin, so come near me and die...

S: It's Matt/OC because I feel bad for the guy who gets shot… a lot…overkill
WM: Lol, they thought he had a grenade. It was only a pear
S: -at same time- It was a game system. …Why would Matt have a pear?

Funny little warnings:
~On a Sear's hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
~On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
~On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
~On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
~On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down."
~On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
~On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
~On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
~On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
~On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
~On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
~On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
~On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
~On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
~On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
~On a knife:
"Caution: Keep out of children."
~On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists:
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you."
~On a Taiwanese shampoo:
"Use repeatedly for severe damage."
~In a US guide to setting up a new computer(INSIDE the box):
"To avoid condensation forming, allow the boxes to warm up to room tempurature before opening."
~On a hand-dryer in a bathroom:
"Do not operate with wet hands"

Ten Bad Things to Hear on an Airplane
10. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore.
9. We're cruising at an altitude of... ah, hell, I don't know.
8. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?
7. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Just kidding.
6. Would a flight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em coming!
5. This is...uh...this is...uh...your...hmm. I seem to have lost my memory.
4. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?
3. Welcome aboard flight 109 -- you bunch of jerks!
2. Good God, Steve! We're going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?
1. We'll be on the ground in 10 minutes. One way or another

Famous last words:
"No, these windows are okay to lean on."
"I can pass this guy."
"My brakes are fine."
"Nice doggy."
"Nah, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."
"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du--"
"So, you're a cannibal..."
"Pull the pin and count to what?"
"Which wire was I supposed to cut?"
"I wonder where the mother bear is."
"These are the good kind of mushrooms."
"Goodbye to the world. I'm leaving because I'm bored."
"It's probably just a rash."
"I dunno, press the button and find out."

Bumper Stickers:
"There are two types of pedestrians: the fast ones and the dead ones."
"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move the body."
"Buck Fush."
"Come to the darkside, we have cookies."
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
"Buckle up - it makes it harder for aliens to suck you out of your car."
"If you can read this, I can stop suddenly and sue you."
"Squirrel - it's what's for supper."
"Anything worth taking seriously - is worth making fun of."
"Even if the voices aren't real - they've got some great ideas."
"If you don't like my driving - stay off the sidewalk."
"I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to!"

AIM Away Messages:
Ahh, I'm so tired I could fall asleep on this very keybofsdfgjhf
Trick-or-treating on the highway, dressed as a deer
My dog ate my away message.
Let's discuss left and right, you're right, I left!
Not at my desk. If you yell loud enough into your monitor I might hear you and come back.
~The Away Message Thief Was Here~
Sorry, I've been temporarily distracted by a shiny object. O_O
Running around in circles reaaaally fast.
It's not my fault the voices in my head are telling me to free the kangaroos from the zoo, but they have me outnumbered, so bye!
Hello, I see the assasins have failed. Go away.
I'm away because I'm avoiding someone. If I don't reply, it's you.
me no here, me go bye, leave a message, me reply. - lozerz r us' Bio page
Riding ponies outside walmart... be back when i run out of quarters! - lozerz r us' Bio page

Stupid Questions
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse, carrying a corpse, drive in the car pool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Why IS Trix only for kids?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If love makes the world go round, does hate make the world go square?
If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your a--?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window.
Are children who act in R rated films allowed to see them?
If the SWAT team breaks down your door, do they have to replace it later?
Can you breathe out your nose and your mouth at the same time?
Is 'Cute as a button' supposed to be a compliment? Since when were buttons cute?
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'?
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped spot but not illegal to go on a handicapped toilet?
Have you every noticed that if you rearrange the letters in mother-in-law, it will come out as 'Woman Hitler'?
What happens if your snot freezes inside your nose?
Why does blind have an "i" in it?
Why is dyslexia hard to spell?
Why is abbreviation a long word?

My favorite poems:
The Raven (And it’s L4D remake by richardlynch77: http://richardlynch77.deviantart.com/art/L4D-The-Raven-115406636)
Ten Little Indians
Booker T. and W.E.B.
Riverbank Blues
Musee des Beaux Arts

For those who enjoyed some of the stuff I wrote, check out the chapter of Random Stuff About Stuff's Annoying that I wrote, chapter 18. If you enjoy funny Avatar: TLA stories, you'll probably like it.