Message board for anyone who cares.
It is november fourth, and I am proud to say that I have lived in a time when we have a true black president who, broke though every barrier put in front of him, and truly bringing together this great yet declining nation we live in. Thank God for this change. We all need it.
It is 7/28/08 and I have desided untill i can upload chapters in bulk or at a resonable time in between, I am going to try to mass priduce may many chapters for my newest stories. My collage time is approcing, very soon, so i fear that the time i actally devoted to my writing will be halfed. but no worries, they have not been abandened...much at least
1013/08
I'M GETTING A LAPTOP FOR MY BIRTHDAY!! (less than a month!)
now my updates should be a tad bit quicker, with a proper tool.
11/02/08
I GOT A LAPTOP!! YESS!!
expect a jump in my update times!!
Now the useless nonsense and quotes.
WORLD OF CHAOS and all that other crazy shit I do. Lol
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, Weasel Chick, Revenant666, dragonsroar, foxdude33, FallenLex, Soelle, Sunstar Kitsune
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.
92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Repost this if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing your ass off.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile
If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever fallen asleep in a class, paste this to your profile.
If you like/love copying and pasting stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.
"Villains are the new heroes. We dress better and are much hotter." If you love all villains and baddies and psychos in fandoms, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Marriage is a human right, not a heterosexual privelege. Add this to your profile if you agree.
If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Avatarwolf, Computerfreak101,Girloffire,Sunstar Kitsune
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
Being unique is thinking outside the box, reading between the lines, coloring out of pictures, dancing to the tune of your own drummer, and having a heck of a better time than other people. If you're unique, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile
paste this into your bio if you have ever bust out laughing in an empty room
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile
If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile
If you've ever randomly fallen out of your chair, copy this into your profile
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile
If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
Copy and paste this into your profile if you like cheese AND toast but you don't like cheese ON toast.
99.9 of all humanity hate illness...copy and paste this into your profile if you like chocolate spread!
If you truly believe that the Naruto characters live in another universe, PASTE THIS
If you believe Itachi has secret laughing fits when no one is watching, PASTE THIS
If you believe that Kakashi's book is actually an instruction manual that teaches him how to rape teenage boys from Naruto, PASTE THIS
If you want to see Sakura end up dead at the end of the Naruto series, PASTE THIS
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, PASTE THIS
You. The netspeak addict.
If you're too lazy to write it, I'm too lazy to read it. (found on KingofLoosePages bio page, not mine)
98 of Deviants don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." If you're one of the 2 that wants to punch 'em, PUNCH THEM, WHATCHA WAITING FOR.
Thoughts on Gay Marriage
1) Gay marriage is not natural, and as Americans, we always reject unatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and lyposuction.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Have PRIDE! Support Gay Marriage!
Information about this author...that you might never need to know...
black hair
brown eyes...i think they're brown...don't really care
Sorry all 'A Demon' fans but my cousin has stopped writing for this story. it is now discontinued but if anyone wants to pick up were she left off email me!
~~~~now more about me~~~~
name- real one? Hmm why?
age- 16 or 18, maybe 17 who knows?
race- I'm Jamaican and Korean...ok if you really want to know what I all am, go to my sister's profile she wrote it all out, here :dreamthis-song
speaking of my sister, HI ALY!!
and for those who will actually read this fom time to time, here is my other sister, the youngest, on Deviantart: mrl4ever
Corruption of the mind rules!
favorite normal pairings
kagome/kurama(i don't care if it's a crossover.)
kagome/youko :) (so cute! kagome/youko/kurama)
...i have realised that his section is slowly getting smaller and smaller...
Who would have thought...
Pairings I Hate with a Firey Passion!!
Kagome/Hiei
Sango/Kurama
kag/inu (he does not deverve her!)
kag/draco
kag/harry (just doesn't seem right..isn't he older at the begining?) No it's just not right he's younger!
kag/sess (there brother and sister I tell ya!)
kag/yuske
KAGOME/ITACHI!! NO!!
WAILS
ITACHI IS GAY!!
SIRIUS/VOLDEMORT!! OH MY GOWAD!!
Dumbledore/Severus AAAHHHHHH! I choked when i read that pairing shiver :)
Minato/Naruto...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! (birds take flight a mile away)
Favorite Yaoi Pairings
Harry/Snape
Harry/Draco
Harry/OC
Harry/Voldemort :)
Harry/Salazar XD
Harry/Itachi (big smile) major fav!
Kurama~Youko/Kuronue
Itachi/Naruto (female/male) (male/female) (male/male) The whole shebang
as of a loooonnnggg time ago, all of my current INUYUYU fanfics have been discontinued unless i have some strange muse hit me with a sludgehammer. K? K.
As of July 16th 08 i have now found a reason to have, what I now call my rant area available to the public.
Why? because there is a reader out there that I want to claw their eyes out, but sadly they are an anonymous reader. so they'll probably never see this.
here is the review for those who like to laugh at me, or stupidity.
From: Annoyed reader
"You mean the profile page in which it is so full of random junk that it's
impossible to find anything of use?"
and here is my responce.
“Well thank you for your enlightening comment, Annoyed reader, but let me tell you this before you do something else stupid and really piss me off. On Fanfiction, my profile is my own; insulting that is like insulting my personality, for it is reflected there. And, just so you know Dumbass, polls are right at the top of the page, and doesn’t go away when you do something smart like hiding the profile.
Thank you for your review, and next time think before you send someone a stupid comment. I am fully aware of how large my profile page is, so nothing anyone really needs to know is there. Sheesh”
Quotes by real people! (I think..._)
I am more afraid of an army of 100 sheep led by a lion than of 100 lions led by a sheep.
--Talleyrand
Always plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
--Richard C.Cushing
He was so narrow-minded that he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
--Unknown
People are very open-minded about new things - as long as they are exactly like the old ones.
--Charles F. Kettering
"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indisctincly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad."
--Terry Pratchett, Interesting Times
Whoever said sunshine brings happiness never danced in the pouring rain.
--Unknown
Books are always better than real, live boyfriends any day of the week. They don't talk back and they're always there for you. You can have as many of them as you want and they won't complain.
--Unknown
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
--Mel Brooks
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
--Oscar Wilde
Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?
--Abraham Lincoln
You may have created my past, and screwed up my present, but you have no control over my future."
--David Klass
"The best advice I can give you is to ignore advice. Life is too short to be distracted by the opinions of others."
--Unknown
"If you can’t beat them, join them. If you can’t join them, bribe them. If you can’t bribe them, blackmail them."
--Unknown
The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his.
--George S. Patton
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
--Mark Twain
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.
--Mark Twain
You are unique just like everybody else
--Sign
Words can't hurt you unless the person saying them writes them on an anvil and drops it on your head.
--Unknown
I have no preference. I hate everyone equally.
--Avatar
"I write for the same reason I breathe - because if I didn't, I would die."
--Isaac Asimov (So very, very true...)
Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
--Frieda Norris
When someone tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football.
--Anonymous
Once I had a handle on life; then it broke
--Anonymous
“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.”
--Mark Twain
"Hey did you know your eyes are like crystal clear pools of mud?" said to me by a friend I affectionately call CC
"We're harmless as kittens."
"More so," said Galdo. "Kittens have claws and piss on things indiscriminately. (The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch)
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. (Unknown)
And if you look closely to your left, you can see my sanity zooming away. Wave goodbye! (Unknown)
Prejudice is a great timesaver. It enables you to form opinions without bothering to get facts. (Unknown)
"Now don't you stand for that! If somebody tries to kill you, you try and kill 'em right back!" (Firefly)
The first impression is an important thing. Nobody ever forgets it, even after the second, third, and fourth impressions. (Unknown)
We're not lost. We're locationally challenged. (John M. Ford)
Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out. (Michael Burke)
Quotes!(yaa funny funny funny funny funny...)
‘I can see why he didn’t want to make you a sword, your reasamae is one long death wish. OH! You’re smiling! Oh don’t smile at me, please get angry your always much harder on me when your being passive aggressive! Please be straight with me please!’ Jaken
‘I fear a smiling Sesshou-maru-sama much, much more!’ Japan Jaken
“There’s nothing to talk about except to arrange your funeral arrangements. Do you want to be cremated or have a coffin and if you want a coffin what color?” yuske story, i can't remember. not mine.
‘You can tell they're related by their tempers.’ Totosai
‘Oh great the blood rushed to his head, that’s always bad news.’ Totosai
‘Sesshou-maru calls his great sword useless and Inuyasha is useless with his great sword. Sigh how I overestimated both of them.’ Totosai
‘Jaken get up, you’re fine.’ Sesshou-maru (O.O) LoL
‘He was testing? Lord Sesshou-maru! Would you have actually risked my life to test your sword? You ungrateful dog!’ BOP Jaken
‘I think he’s feeling much better.’ Sango
‘Kuwabara!’ Kurama
‘And only 500 seconds to late to matter’ Hiei
‘A molted snake skin.’ Inuyasha
‘You talking to me?’ demon Inuyasha
‘Wicked child!’ mistress centipede
‘Nasty hag!’ Inuyasha
‘I think I’ve said something I shouldn’t have said.’ Totosai
‘Nerd violence’ Kurama
‘KURAMA!’ Kwuabara
‘Don’t tell me.’ Kurama
"Your halo's falling down."
--Uzumaki Naruto to Hyuuga Neji
“Do not anger dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”
--Pyromaniac by FastForward (Fanfiction); Hatake Kakashi
To think I'm going to die because I flirt with women.
--Miroku; InuYasha
“Your hands are...are...I'm seeing all the bones!” Yusuke from Ink of Vengence. lol
"Dammit, Harry!" Youko from The Best Defence.
“Must’ve rubbed off on me, dimwit,” Genkai said with a slight smile. “I died like you. Half-assed.” from A Rose Under the Stars
“Funny, most people tend to think of you as intelligent. There must be a general air of stupidity around this place that would make you appear smart.”- hiei to kurama from Your sending us to school
"But- but- SEVEN! Why not an even number, like, oh, zero?" "Zero isn't an even number," Kaitou interjected. "Welcome to my world, man. One is an odd number, so the number below it is even. Screw traditional mathematics." Thia from Trick Questions
“Oh no! First lesson with mikos is put some space between you and the demon. It’s kind of hard to shoot my arrow at you if you’re right next to me.” Naomi from The Reason for Fighting
“Ack! Mum we’re choking!”
“Running out of air!”
“Turning red -"
“ – blue - ”
“ – purple - ”
“life is flashing before our eyes!”
“We’re too young to die!”
“Memories – hey remember when we tried to flush Ron through the toilet, Fred?”
“nah… I think that was Percy…”
“oops… oh yeah, we’re dying – RESPIRATORY SYSTEM CRASHING!”
“You call yourself a mother – “
“What kind of mother kills her own sons?”
“Goodbye cruel world!” Fred and George from Waga Karishutsugok
“God help me.” Kurama whispered. “I’m being put through torture I can’t get my way out of.” “Well, look at the good side of it.” Hiei said. “At least you’re bringing people with you.” from You think i'm WHAT?
There is a sick child who needs your help. He/She is dying of a disease called boredom. If you want to make a contribution to help save their life, please contribute.
Thank you and have a nice day!
But if you're not going to contribute anything FUCK YOU!
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that a hostage situation?
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
Demon or angel just be yourself
What i think is funny is, after this point there are hardly any yyh, or iy quotes. hehehe strange how your faves can change so fast huh?
“Any idea where I can get my life fixed?” Harry choked out in-between hacks of laughter, “Whoever’s in charge of it messed around with it a bit too much, and now the controls are broken. One of the levers is stuck somewhere in between drama and angst, while the irony button is stuck all the way pushed in. Can I have a refund? Could I get a new one if I ask nicely enough? I’d go after the person who gave me this one, but I don’t remember who it was.” Dark Angel
'NOOO! I don't want to go back to the afterlife! You can't make me! I happen to enjoy eating and breathing and other mortal habits!' Harry/Salazar Soul of Slytherin, Heir of Gryffindor
"That's for me to know and you to find out five minutes before the game begins, less if I have my way." James Evans from Ghost of a Memory
"That was pathetic, Evans." Snape also from Ghost of a Memorythis is said before a very deep kiss, Yaoi hehe
"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, Harry," he said sincerely, "because once you do, there is no turning back." Lupin from Midnight Guardain
“So Sirius, when do I get to become an Animagus?” Harry asked.
“Er—when you get parental approval,” Sirius answered evasively.
“You mean when Moony agrees to it,” Harry corrected.
“You know, I wouldn’t hate you if you said no. In some cultures, children actually respect those who take the responsibility in making decisions instead of pushing it off on someone else.”
Sirius stared at Harry in disbelief. “You know, Pronglet, that was downright profound,” he said in amazement then looked at Harry seriously. “Don’t do it again. You’re starting to sound like Moony and one of him is more than enough.” Midnight Guardian
Snape cleared his throat mildly. “Apparently, my assumption that you were being worshiped at home as in our world, was somewhat mistaken.”
“Slightly.” Harry Potter and the spirit within
"What was thatfor, Ms. Granger?" Snape asked.
Very quietly, she said, "It was a 'Don't be cruel to Harry' look, sir." from Resonacne
"So you're just going to sit around and do nothing while this is going on?"
"Of course not!" Snape snapped and looked at his former co-worker as if she were some first year Gryffindor that just botched a simple potion."
"Well what are you going to do then?" She asked impatiently, eager to find some way to help during the attack.
"I'm going to go find the best spot to watch." He informed her calmly and she was once again left standing watching someone’s retreating back in shock as he walked off in search of a place with a great view with Narcissa at his side. from Lord of Azkaban
“If he touches one hair on Harry’s head, I’ll rip his hand (or balls that's good to...) off and shove it up his ass.” snape from somewere i belong
“You can cry. Someone tried to kill you, believe me, it’s allowed.” Severus also from somewere i belong
Harry lost his temper.
Harry losing his temper was bad, not good.
Many had been known to run for their hidey-holes at Harry's temper, and later suggest anger management.
A glass figurine of Mickey Mouse broke. section from Hero, Villain, Savior, Conqueror
“Let’s see… Ah, here we go. We have Dueling first, followed by N.E.W.T. Transfiguration. Dueling is being held in the… WHAT IN THE NINE LEVELS OF HELL!” Harry also from Hero, Villain, Savior, Conqueror
Malkin cried, enveloping me in a rather large hug. One only a mother could give, with the face in the bosom and everything. from Seul dans le Temps
That night he chased away Voldemort nightmares with a dream of a twelve year old James wearing dress robes, standing at a wedding altar with twelve year old Lily Evans. Behind them, fifteen year old Harry Potter cheered, shouting things like 'Marry her already, Dad!' and 'Say I do, Mum!' Severus wasn't terribly certain which was the more frightening to wake up to. from Twelve again
"Meanie." Severus
"Scamp." Harry
"Gryffindor."
"Slytherin."
"Jerk."
"Professor Snape."
Pause. "Guess you win that round, huh?" also from twelve again
“All right, I’ll go see what he wants. But I claim mental instability when…err..if I blow anything up.” harry from reflections
“Hay’s for horses, I’m a werewolf.” remus from Harry potter and his heritage
Harry had seen Snape dancing with Professor McGonagall. He hated to admit it but the man could dance. from Harry Potter and the shield of runespoor WOW
"Therefore I award you thirty points. Tell any one I gave you those points and I’ll deny it,” Snape hissed as he left. from Ninja Wizard
McGonagall grinned at Snape. “You are definitely a very nasty man.”
Snape bowed. “Thank you dear lady.” also from Ninja Wizard
“Hi there,” he said grandly. “Expelliarmis!” also from Ninja Wizard
Harry smirked and snickered as he bowed his head, his eyes dancing with mischievous glee. Remus threw his head back and laughed. "Harry," he said, "you are a true Marauder! No one, and I do mean no one, in their right mind would ever think of throwing a snowball in a wizarding duel unless they were born to be a Marauder!" from Harry Potter, Heir of Gryffindor
“Mr. Potter. I will let you get by with prank pulling in my classroom this once.Please make sure you keep your activities outside of my classroom in the future. Is that understood?” Snape watched him evenly. Harry could feel his mouth dropping open and couldn’t help it. fromFaith
Right, then. First thing on the to do list. Convince Moony to help me get Harry and Draco together. Item two, kill Dumbledore. Item three, torch the Weasley Burrow. Item four, beat most of the Weasley men into bloody pulps. Item five…(stop the weasley bitch from cooking cleaning, any other house hold chore, make her run a few miles then forcibly nuder her...yeh sounds good..) Sirius thinking also from Faith I added in the (that's just me!)
Harry snorted. “Right,” he muttered, tucking his hands into his sleeves and hunching his shoulders defensively. “I’m sure he’s really a big teddy bear underneath that cold, sarcastic, snarky exterior. A psychotic teddy bear…like those blasted doll movies that Dudley liked to watch, Chunky or whatever the hell his name was. A perfectly nice, soft, lovable, sociopathic teddy bear, indeed.” Draco’s laughter could be heard clear out into the Common Room. also from faith
“Now,” Ginny leveled a finger at him, her expression becoming deadly again. “If you so much as make him cry I will personally rip the skin off your balls and make you eat it, understood?” faith
Harry let his gaze travel over the blond wizard; he was walking ahead of the party with Severus, talking to the smaller man quietly. A grin tugged at the corners of Harry’s mouth – it was so oddto think of Professor Snape in a relationship. I mean, he’s a teacher. Teachers aren’t supposed to have – have – have sex. There’s just something wrong with that image. And. Ew. Snape and sex. Yikes. Harry blinked rapidly, thankful for the brisk wind for once - it gave him an able excuse to explain his rapidly reddening face. I can’t believe I just thought that. faith
“Fuck,” swore Harry loud enough for half the hall to hear.
Hermione stood up her face scandalized.
“Harry,” she gasped, “You cannot swear in front of first years. That’s very unappreciated. ”
“Oh I’m sorry,” said Harry sarcastically, “Was I that loud? Let me say it again. Fuck off Hermione.” Destiny's Decisions this story has been erased or changed!
“Excuse me,” said Hermione’s snooty voice, “I think you took my chair.”
“Oh really, what are you going to do about it?” Draco asked, cocking an eyebrow and leaned backwards putting his legs on the table. Harry, Ginny, and Ellie snickered.
“Malfoy, get off before I hex you into oblivion,” spat Ron pointing his wand at Draco menacingly.
“What, one taste of slugs wasn’t satisfying?” asked Harry cheekily.
Ginny, Draco, and Ellie cracked up while Harry just smirked at his former friend also from Destiny's Decisions
“Excuse me,” said Professor Snape coming behind them, “I thought I made it understood on the first day of my class that eating is not permitted.”
“Would you like one?” asked Harry cheekily. “It might add some sweetness that you obviously lack.” diddo
“These are the ones? Right here? Not the ones right next to it?” Severus looked at Harry with a note of panic in his voice. from a life of lies
“Just make sure you win. Slytherin has held the Quidditch Cup for the past seven years, I’m not willing to let go of it Seeing Minerva unable to meet my eye after Slytherin receives the Cup is one of my favorite days of the year.” Severus said, same
'If Mrs. Norris sees you, kidnap her and use your imagination.’ Harry projected. All three were itching to be the one to curse the blasted cat. same
Harry knew that at that moment, he had officially entered an alternate universe. He wondered if Voldemort wore pink bunny slippers and ran a Muggle orphanage in this one. That would be highly amusing fromAn aunt's love
If Paul ever met this Voldemort character in a dark alley somewhere, only one person was going to be alive afterwards, and it wouldn’t be the one with the wand. same
He conveniently forgot to mention that any explosion would cause the best moisturizing cream known to wizarding and muggle kind. Why ruin his fun to reassure them? severus thoughts. same
Snape opened his eyes, surprised to see that he had been “gone” for almost three hours. He smiled to himself, snorted, and fought down the mirth that threatened to ruin his reputation. He snorted again, unable to keep it back. He threw himself backwards in the chair and laughed. Oh, the irony of it all! Potter, Gryffindor’s Golden Boy, wanted to attend a Muggle school! Snape indulged himself in laughter for a long while. When he trickled down to chuckles, he could hear several people on the other side of his door, asking if he was alright. He locked away the chuckles and cleared his mind as he went to the door. He opened it to find Minerva, Albus, and Mad-Eye on the other side.
“My dear boy, are you alright?” Snape struck his most intimidating pose and sneered.
“Is a grown man not allowed some time alone?” he asked, feeling the laughter just below the surface. Potter didn’t want to come back to Hogwarts!
“Your actions at dinner frightened us. We thought something was wrong.” McGonagall explained. Severus rolled his eyes.
“I’m not a first year, Minerva.” He snapped, feeling just the slightest bit of irritation. Oh, wait. Potter was one of her students, and Snape knew that one of her students didn’t want to come back to Hogwarts.
“That’s what Potter used to say.” Mad-Eye commented. Snape snorted at the name. McGonagall bristled at what she thought was an insult to one of her students. A sixteen year old was managing to hide from an entire adult Order of wizards, and no one knew where he was. Except Snape. There was justice in the world. Mad-eye’s magical eye rolled over to stare at Severus. Snape glared at him.
“Well, you and Harry are both fiercely independent.” Dumbledore said, trying to peer around him into Snape’s rooms. Snape let out a short bark of laughter before resuming his normal façade of irascible Potions Master. “Are you feeling alright, Severus?”
“Yes, of course, Headmaster.” Snape answered. The headmaster thought that Potter was trying to return to Hogwarts! Severus started laughing and would have fallen if he had not grabbed the doorjamb on his way down.
“Albus, he’s ill! He needs to go to the Hospital Wing!” McGonagall’s wand appeared in her hand, only to be stopped by Mad-Eye’s comment.
“He’s lost it.” Moody said, sounding as though he was an authority on the subject. Dumbledore shook his head.
“He’s happy, so lets leave him to it.” Dumbledore shooed both teachers away before turning back to Severus. “Come and see me in my office tomorrow morning, Severus.”
“Certainly, Headmaster.” He said in a serious voice before descending into laughter again. Dumbledore smiled, wondering why Severus was so happy. That needed to happen again. Severus did not have enough joy in his life, although that had gotten better since Draco had become a permanent part of his life. Whatever had happened to put the man in such a good mood needed to happen more often. samelmao
“Welcome,” Snape said as he began to pace, his robes flurrying out behind him, “to N.E.W.T. Potions. Most of you seated before me have demonstrated an Outstanding capability in Potions and therefore have merited your presence in this class.”
Here he paused and faced the students, “Others,” his cold, charcoal eyes making their way to Potter’s bright green orbs, “Have managed to whine and plead your way into a class that you are undoubtedly incapable of passing. I, naturally, wish you the best of luck.”
Potter’s left eye appeared to be twitching. He cocked an eyebrow at Snape’s last statement though. from inquiring minds
“Something is most methodically wrong with this picture,” said Snape A serpents rescue
He was as queer as a two galleon coin, but had not quite managed to act on that yet. serpent rose vrs the skulls(LOL)
“Humans are not mammals. Mammals live in balance with nature, humans destroy it.” from watcher.
Normal does not exist. We are all special, but at the same time connected by our similarities
Strength, power, victory,
Is nothing but a history.
Hunger, need, and loneliness…
All that’s left from rulers’ mess.
a mere child, but understands,
how men can kill with spotless hands,
anger grows, and revenge forms,
new age, but seed of same old storms…
There are many types of warriors and fighters.
There is no victory, there is only strength.
There is no failure, there is only learning.
There is no power, there are only opportunities.
There is no weakness, there is only death. i can't remember the author! AAGGG! SOMEONE HELP!
Like bruises that care...Strange idea that. symbiosis
“I’m leaving for Hogwarts, Lucius. You know the drill. One little fuck up and I’ll hang you up from the South Tower by your dick.” Voldemort said conversationally before sweeping past the shocked blonde.
Syna smirked. from The Forgotten
Tom Marvolo, you’re such a riddle!’ same
"Help?" Ron squeaked.
Harry's eyes flashed. "RONALD DUKE WEASLEY, YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOT! WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK WERE YOU THINKING! HAVE YOU NO BRAINS! NO COMMON SENSE! DOES ANYTHING DENT THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS! ANYTHING! AFTER ALL THOSE TIMES YOU WENT AFTER ME ABOUT GINNY YOU GO AND KNOCK UP HERMIONE OF ALL THE BLOODY FUCKING GIRLS IN HOGWARTS! I SHOULD MURDER YOU!" abandon
“Severus,” Dumbledore called after him. “Do try not to make any of them cry?” his daughter's father(heheeheh lmao)
Sure enough, she was awake for the practical. Harry transfigured a chair into a four-poster bed. The baby wanted the Gryffindor common room couch. Harry transfigured a stick into a goat. The baby preferred a dog that looked just like her grand-godfather. Harry transfigured a block of wood into water into pumpkin juice. The baby liked the taste of milk better, thank you. same, (you won't get it unless you read the story...lmao) same as above
“So, who was she?” he asked, and Harry gawked uncontrollably for a moment before feigning innocence, much to Neville’s humour.
“Don’t know what you mean,” he said, but he knew it was pointless to deny it, as Neville just laughed.
“It’s called Sex, Harry. Requires two people, optional third person, etcetera, etcetera – I can see a glow around you that says you were pretty well shagged last night.” heheh story called Shadow Play
"How come these damn lights don't work!" shouted a grumpy Itachi. His voice was getting closer. "AND WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS GOD DAMN NOISE! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP DAMN IT!" he yelled, stepping into the doorway of the training hall. He saw the image of himself in his ANBU uniform, but he was only in his boxers and a tank-top. "What the--!"
you all have to read that story it's goddamn funny! Itachi is lazy as fuck! the lazy Uchiha
I have always expected to finally die for the cause, he thought, mentally composing a letter to Albus, But this is just ridiculous: Dear Albus, Unfortunately I have to retire from my teaching position as the bloody Boy Who Lived managed to get me turned on my second evening with him. Please forward all my possessions to Transylvania, where I will settle down to frighten idiotic peasants into oblivion. Severus from Had I Known
“Now, what have we here,” He began the universal stupid sentence all bullies on earth seemed to know from their cradles onward. “A tiny little human walking into our lair. I am glad you came, human, for I was really…”
“I wouldn’t finish that thought if I were you,” Potter interrupted him calmly.
He hasn’t even drawn his wand yet, Snape thought with rising astonishment, I always said he had a death wish, but of course no one believed me!
The vampire just leered at him, exposing canines that were all too sharp and long to Snape’s liking.
“And why wouldn’t I, human,” He asked, moving yet nearer to Potter.
“Apart from the fact that your poor little brain would be hopelessly overwhelmed by such an attempt?” Potter mused aloud and Snape had to keep himself from banging his head against the wall. “Well, I guess because you don’t want to be hurt, deary.” lmao same as above
Of course he wasn’t as welcome as Prince Vampire-charmer Potter, and Snape was quite happy about it, for he wasn’t sure if he would have survived the close proximity to so many fangs, but they did make room for him, and a few even shook his hands, telling him how much they “appreciated that he cared for their Harry”
Their Harry? What had happened to the world he had known and loved, for goodness sake? 5same as above
Never call a centaur horse, and never cross a vampire, same hehehe
I take him to visit a friend for a few hours and end up with having commanding powers among the vampires of Great Britain. Perhaps Potter is a re-incarnated god of chaos?Snape thought with growing exasperation. Well, at least I don’t have to move to Transsylvania now. I can stay right here and have the same results! hey i'm in a good mood.
“That’s the Dark Side for you,” Potter-the-man snorted. “If they don’t understand something, they try to break it. If it doesn’t break, they hex it. If still nothing happens, they try to kidnap someone who is a bit brighter than they are. No wonder Voldemort never managed to conquer the earth.” hehehe, alas the same
“Entrance of the Supreme Evil Being, formally hidden in a turban,” Potter commented dryly. do you need to ask?
Snape couldn’t help it – he gaped at the young man. He’s talking like a bloody centaur! He thought in disbelief. Ye Gods, what have I done to deserve this? lmao
Severus refilled his own tea and his father's and sat back with it in a forced casual attitude. "Most anything you need to discuss with me can be said in front of Harry. I have adopted him."
Shazor choked on the sip he had just taken. "You are not serious?" Gretta blinked her long eyelashes at Harry and then smiled at him sweetly, clearly charmed by the notion.
"Harry?" Severus prompted.
It took a moment for Harry to realize that he wanted him to pull out the adoption parchment. He went over to the bureau and pulled out the rolled, embossed application form. He handed it over to Severus, who handed it to his father.
As he unrolled it, Shazor asked, "Why?" in a very doubtful way.
Severus thought a moment. "I admit the reasons continue to change," he said vaguely.
Harry paused beside his chair and stared at Severus. "Is that happening to you too, sir?" he asked in quiet surprise. from something called Resonance
"Listen, Weasley, we don't learn nonverbal magic until sixth year, I highly doubt there's a hex with the incantation 'hey', and unless you wish for someone to create a dark curse out of your surname, please keep the accusations to yourself." An Altered Destiny
http/www.fanfiction.net/s/3011585/2/ this chapter is the Slytherin Code of Conduct created by Insane Slytherin, and very good, most make a lot of sense!
Now, to understand why the students were so surprised, you must realize that Severus Snape was a completely different man when around his niece and nephew, than when he was at school. Cold, distant, and apparently biased towards any house other than Slytherin, it seemed as if there was nothing that could bring the head of Slytherin down. And yet here he came, with two children tagging along behind him, looking completely at ease with the situation. Who wouldn’t be surprised? hehe Harry Potter and the Four Realms
“Child,” Namach spoke from within the fireball, not bothering to yell, his smooth dark voice carrying well enough to be heard perfectly above the sounds of battle, “I inventedthe inferi.” a second chance at life
“I say!” The ancient roared his voice deadly “red eyed weakling mortal spawn of a diseased prostitute!” Voldemort just gaped. “Yes! You!” Namach barked, “Are you that raving loon and deluded whoreson who calls himself Voldemort!” heheh same
He pulled his face into an abrupt sneer, and hissed, “Ah, yes. Harry Potter. Our new--celebrity.”
Draco recoiled, eyes wide. Woah. I think he remembered--and quoted--even the intonation exactly as Severus said those words four years ago. Creepy. the other side of the mirror
“Bring it. I’ve just ordered this brand new type of tasers and –” He was cut off as Daray started to howl with laughter. “Nasty scaly demon.” Rahkesh complained, “and no comments about sadism.” Daray just laughed harder. a second chance at life
‘A television Snape, surely even youknow what one of those is. No? I would have thought someone like you, someone who likes to swoop around and demonstrate how very much more he knows than the rest of us would recognise a simple thing like this. Of course, you never seem to realise that pitting a fully trained Potions Master against a bunch of eleven year olds isn’t really much of a victory. Still, I don’t suppose you’d get any otherwise, for all your supposed superiority. You’re hardly anything special, after all.
A television, Professor Snape, transmits images comprising of light and sound. No, it isn’t like a wizarding portrait Snape. My word, even considering you were raised in a pure-blooded Wizarding family and have never had anythingto do with Muggle technology your stupidity knows no bounds. Well, turn it on. What do you mean how? Turn it on, now Professor.
Well, isn’t this a dismal failure. Not that I’m in the least surprised. You may have some talent in Potions, Snape, and the Headmaster may make allowances for your behaviour but don’t think that I will excuse your shoddy work here. We’ll try it again NOW. TURN ON THE TELEVISION! TURN ON THE TELEVISION! This is the simplest thing I am going to teach you Snape, Muggle babies are capable of doing this. If you can’t master the basics like this, how are you going to cope with changing the channel? Or the volume? I am supposed to be teaching you to use simple, everydaymuggle technology. I can hardly wait to see the mess you make trying to set the video recorder.
Oh get out of my sight you pathetic little cretin. Practice turning the television on and off…what do you mean you don’t know how to turn it on and off? smirks Well then, you’d better figure it out hadn’t you?
I heard that, Professor, 10 points from Slytherin. It isn’t for someone like you sneer to question why you have to learn to operate a television. I am giving up my valuable time in an attempt to force some knowledge into that regrettably empty head of yours and so you will learn. Or else.’ hehehe Enough is Enough
Welcome to the last four days of your break. Please fasten your seatbelts and get ready to be killed on a hopeless quest. We hope you enjoyed your life, both the bad times and the terrible times. Faith Inc. wishes you a happy death! harry's thoughts in Yin and Yang
Mulo raised an eyebrow sardonically and said, “Oh really. Look Harry I let the Death Eater in because I wanted to see if you were worthy of my attentions.” Harry stopped pacing angrily and instead stared at his Landlord in confusion. “Yes Mr. Potter, I am going to train you. And no…you don’t have a choice.” from Blood red
“Actually, I suppose you’re no better because you sound like some sort of mold that could destroy houses and disease small children,” the boy snorted from his place on the floor, “Voldemrot… ‘I’m sorry,’” the boy mocked in a deep voice, “‘but you have The-Rot-That-Must-Not-Be-Named in your basement.’”
Snape choked on his tea. from so sue me
“Take a picture,” Harry yelled to them, “That way I can flick you off whenever you look at me, even when we’re not in the same room!” same
“Gay sex,” Hermione replied, “technicalities and maneuvers, could we get a little privacy here? Or do you want to report on this to your mother, I’m sure she’ll be interested.” from You want what?
“Okay, dear,” Annabelle Delacroix beckoned Harry over to her, “explain why you need sanctuary.”
“um…well,” Harry replied as he walked over to the very grandmotherly Annabelle Delacroix. “Dumbledore was going to make me marry Snape.”
There was a momentary silence and then the glass Annabelle Delacroix was holding cracked, she calmly asked, “which Snape?”
“Severus Snape,” Hermione replied quietly before Harry could get to it.
The glass shattered, wine spilled onto the floor.
Annabelle Delacroix calmly pushed Harry behind her and rounded on Dumbledore.
Shit hit the fan. same
The door slammed behind him. He raised his eyes to meet those of his professor as he stopped in front of him. Snape pointed.
"My end of the couch." delivered in a flat, absolutely serious tone.now this was done at a bad time, but i found this hillarious. flawed lines
They were in the kitchen now, and Snape saw some very tempting knives lying around. He indulged himself in imagining skinning the man and selling his blubber on the black market, but then reminded himself that he did actually have some self control. Possibly. same
Naruto and his team barely registered when Gai punched Lee square in the face sending him flying. They did register however when they started HUGGING and CRYING. With the SUN SETTING behind them.
Sasuke was thinking along the lines of. ‘I just got beat by a guy who wears green spandex, has freakishly huge eyebrows and hugs his sensei while crying with a sunset that magically appeared behind them. If Itachi saw me now I’d kill myself from the embarrassment.
Sakura was thinking. ‘Sasuke lost to these weirdoes. Good God what the hell is the world coming to? AND WHERE THE HELL DID THAT SUNSET COME FROM?”
Naruto was thinking along the lines of. ‘AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY MIND IS BROKEN. MUST………FORM………PROPER………HANDSEALS………MIND ERASE NO JUTSU! Huh where am I again? the strength of brothers
He kept wondering what the hell the answers were until a large booming voice came from within the depths of his mind. “YOU HALF BRAINED JACK ASS YOU HAVE TO CHEAT!” the strength of brothers
“Orochimaru? S class missing nin one of the legendary Sanin and mentally insane immortality seeking Orochimaru?” Said sannin twitched in annoyance. the strength of brothers
‘You can try. First off you really, REALLY, REALLY, need a tan. Secondly stop hanging around that Kabuto kid so freekin much it’s really bad for your image. Thirdly STOP WEARING A FREEKIN ASS BOW GO INTO A DAMN CLOTHING STORE AND BUY SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY LOOKS GOOD. YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN FAGOT WITH THOSE CLOTHES AND… Hey are you listening?’ the strength of brothers
Two sand Shinobi in the shadows had just had major heart attacks and had gone into shock.
“It…but…Gaa…she…how…I…help me” One stammered out while the other stood completely frozen. the strength of brothers
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MAN SHE CALLED HIM FLUFFY! GOOD GOD THIS IS SOMETHING I’M NEVER GONNA LET HIM LIVE DOWN!”
Naruto growled dangerously the strength of brothers
“I know.” He replied. Naruto stuck a finger into his ear, clearing it. “You scream really loud, do you know that?” Ten-Ten blushed heavily.
Downstairs, Ibiki looked at the rafters. “Damn, she’s a screamer.” He said.
In the Sarutobi compound, the Hokage stared at the roof. “I did not need to hear that.” He muttered to himself.
Across the village, in the Hyuuga compound, Hiashi brewed himself a pot of coffee. ‘I hope they’re done.’ He thought.
In Wave Country, Tazuna looked at his daughter as they finished dinner. “I swear I just heard something.” Tsunami nodded, looking around for whatever made that loud screaming noise. all for one
“I attacked Voldemort with a fork.” Another life
The three of them turned their heads to see all of the Potters and, if he remembered correctly, Jessys friends Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.
"Mel, Red, Ginger, Granger, freaks. How can we help you?" asked Draco. I can't remember, help.
“Oh yes, I’m terribly sorry! As I was saying, I have a list here of all students who were accepted for their preferred internships. I will now read the names along with the position the student was accepted for...
Crabbe, Vincent(S)—interning under Florean Fortescue, owner of Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor," hehehe The Defection of the Vindictive
“I hope you realize that you’re being absolutely horrible to me and I blame your reprehensible behavior completely on your bond-mates there,” Harry shot back with a grin.
“Hmmm…reprehensible…a five syllable word! I’m so impressed Harry.”
The young man gaped while Hermione smirked and the Slytherins laughed uproariously. Radix Acclaro
Slowly the time ticked by…and by…
“Oh for Pity’s sake,” Hermione burst out, startling the Wizards. “On the night Harry and I were kidnapped you, Headmaster, cast a Radix Acclaro spell which awoke the dormant Draconian genetics in the six of us. In an interesting twist of Fate, Draco and Severus are my mates just and Tom and Lucius are Harry’s. Activating the genes revitalized Tom in mind, body and soul, thankfully, and he cares for Harry deeply. They both do. We are happily indulging our new instincts and would appreciate it greatly, Sir, if you would butt out!” Radix Acclaro
'It's so amusing to play with stupid people around you,' Cyrus from Bloody Skies
Of course I heard what you said. It sounded something like 'if you don't bow down to me I'll tell on you'. Is this not accurate?" Cyrus asked, an innocent 'wide-eyed' expression on his face as he manipulated the prat into his political grave. diddo
I am at the Malfoy residence, I am in a very pink room and I am a werewolf. That explains the strange dream about chasing blond rabbits in a pink forest. from year of discontent
“Oh, uhm, it’s nothing.” He said through gritted teeth. ‘Think of anything Harry, anything. Uhm, Snape, yeah Snape in mini skirt with fish net stockings.’ Nope the trill was still there. Not to mention the warm feeling raging through his body, all collecting at one certain point. He got to his knees leaning on the bed effectively hiding the lower part of his body. ‘Got to calm down, damn it. Uh, add four inch high heals to that picture. And…and, oh yeah, a halter top, and he forgot to shave his chest.’ He gagged; he really didn’t want to know if Snape shaved his chest. Now Draco had a nice smooth chest, perfect for running hands along. ‘Arrghh, this is not helping!’ He screamed mentally. “I’m sorry guys, I, uh, need to go to the bathroom.” He jumped to his feet and ran down the hall. aahahahahaah!!Harry Potter and the Shiverin Desendent
Snape even smiled at Granger once…true enough she had screamed and fainted, but it had been amusing. lol from You're a Dark Angel
“The fact that she is a girl.” Ron still looked very confused, and Harry sighed. He had to, of course, spell it out for him. “I do not like the fact that she is a girl, because I like men. I am gay. Queer. Straight as a circle.” Rons face changed from confused to horrified. lamo from Always
Paul Potter was worried. Harry was starting to use his Dark Magic to influence more people. Even Cedric Diggory! He and Ron would have to step up their efforts. The rumours they been spreading - mostly true, even if Ron's were a little exaggerated - were working but not adequately.
Paul was sitting at the Gryffindor table at dinner, talking with Ron and Ginny about Quidditch, when he heard a loud voice coming from the center of the room.
"I'm telling you, Harry Potter is training to be a future Dark Lord!"
It was a familiar voice, Paul thought. He joined everyone else in the room in turning his head to it. His jaw dropped. His brother had gone insane! What was he doing, admitting it?
"You don't have to convince me!" said Hermione Granger. "I've been been training him!"0
"Really, Granger?" said Blaise Zabini scornfully. "And this will be the first Dark Lord to kill his enemies by dumping library books on their head?" His eyes widened as Hermione conjured a massive tome over his head and let it fall. "Ow!"
"It's a very effective tactic," she replied before turning to Padma. "Wouldn't you agree?"
"You saw what Harry did to Malfoy, didn't you?" replied Padma, nodding with a smile. "What a vicious attack! He was hitting Malfoy's feet with his stomach with such anger!"
"Don't forget punching Crabbe's hands with his face," added Blaise. "And Zabini did get some good shots with the back of his head, connecting with Goyle's leg."
Paul could not believe this. Harry and his friends were making a joke about this! And people were starting to laugh!
"Have you heard the one about Potter using a Love Potion on Hermione?" asked Cedric Diggory.
"Course I have," said Hermione. "It's ridiculous. Everyone knows I gave him a Love Potion, not vice versa. I mean, who would want to slip me a Love Potion?"
"Ron Weasley would," Cho pointed out.
"That's a lie!" shouted Ron from the Gryffindor table. The Weasley boy began marching angrily to the Neutral table. Hermione waved her wand at him and he paused for a second, dazed, and turned back to his table.
"How did you do that?" asked Terry.
"Idiot-repelling Charm," she replied. "I modified Muggle-repelling Charms to work one anyone with the mental capacity of a Flobberworm."
"That's Dark Magic!" said Harry, wearing a much-practised look of shock and horror. "And stop insulting Flobberworms!"
"Don't be so upset, boyfriend dear. Dark Magic isn't so bad. Go talk to Harry Potter," said Hermione. "He knows lots." She gave the ceiling a wistful glance, and it was hard for him not to break down laughing. Blaise was already going purple with the effort.
"Is that why the Weasley twins are laughing their head off?" asked Cho. "I thought I saw them spike his drink with something earlier."
"How could you say that?" replied Hermione. "Stop accusing my fellow Gryffindors. Just because you've got proof of it doesn't make it true! Something is only true if enough people talk about it behind your backs! Everyone knows that if you ever see anything strange happening around the school, then it must be blamed on Harry Potter and Dark Magic!" .
"Yeah!" exclaimed Harry. "I mean who can honestly believe that a slimy Slytherin like him would be able date the most brilliant and attractive witch in the school without the use of a Love Potion?"
"And she's a Muggleborn, no less," added Hermione. "Did you know that the Ministry's laws are so biased that it is legal for a Pureblood to slip a Muggleborn a Love Potion?"
"Purebloods are such idiots sometimes," said Harry. "Blood purity is a myth. If the Ministry's good, I would hate to see what they call evil around here." AHAHAHAHAHA!! from-Yet Another siblingwholved Fic
“RONALD AND GINERVRA WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU TWO ENDULGE IN SUCH BEHAVIORS! I CAN UNDERSTAND THE NEED FOR SEXUAL OUTLETS, BUT WITH EACH OTHER! YOU TWO ARE RELATED FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, YOUR MOTHER WOULD BE SO DISAPOINTED IN YOU TWO! IF YOU TWO NEED AN OUTLET FIND SOME ONE OTHER THEN EACH OTHER! RONALD YOU HAVE HERMIONE, AND GINNY, YOU COULD JUST FIND SOME RANDOM BOY! IF I HEAR ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN, I WILL BRING YOU OUT OF THAT SCHOOL FASTER THEN YOU CAN SAY YOUR NAMES!” Arthur Weasley’s voice rang out through the silent hall. After the Howler burned up everyone burst out laughing. Ginny ran out of the Hall, her red face in her hands.
All the Slytherins turned to Harry, who managed to look very innocent.
“What?” He asked, his voice an innocent angel. roflmao from Silent Tears
But something was wrong. He still couldn’t breathe. Harry grabbed at his face and found something over his nose and mouth. The boy tried to pull it off, and quickly discovered that it didn’t come off, it came out. Gagging as he felt it sliding inside his throat, Harry gave it a good yank, and at last drew in a deep breath of…
The worst-smelling oxygen he’d ever had the displeasure of inhaling roflmao from Know thyself: The Prelude
A potions master who was overworked, lonely, and horny did not mix well with Mondays. The Changer
“Rahkesh, I hate to disillusion you, but electrocution doesn’t solve all of life’s problems.” Daray said slowly, pityingly. Draco visibly bit back a chuckle. From Changes in a time of War
“Tree-hugging pointy-eared parasites are interested in observing this.” Namach finally said. The female growled like some great beast, the other one chuckled.
“The blood-drinking walking corpse is calling elves parasites?” He asked, from Changes in a time of War
"I barly remember being poody-trained." Aly. (yes the author, she's my younger sister, the other one.)
“Oh…laughing like a hyena.” Haedil thought that over for a few moments. “I do not think I want to interrupt then…we’ll leave it to another professor actually. Yes, let them deal with the mad-hatter blood-sucker.” Changes in a time of War
“So the little fae is incapable of expressing himself with anything other than an uneducated low-class vocabulary?” Rahkesh bit back and laugh, he’d noted when the vampire had entered that he wasn’t really angry, not even a little, and that confirmed it. Namach was amused, and toying with the fae like a cat with a mouse. Not actually angry at all. “Tell me, do you know what a mad-hatter is?” Namach asked abruptly.
“Yes, I have-” Haedil was cut off
“-A family relation?” Namach asked cheerfully. Haedil frowned. “It would explain a lot. Which asylum are they in?” Changes in a time of War
Whisper was smiling in a fashion reminiscent if Suichi’s ‘I’m-Just-Doing-This-Because-You-Won’t-Leave-Me-Alone-Otherwise’ Smile™ , Youko’s ‘I’m-Smiling-Because-I-Know-It’s-Getting-To-You’Grin and, oddly enough, one Hatake Kakashi’s ‘I-Wonder-What’s-Got-Them-So-Irritated…’Upside-Down-Eye-Tilty-Smile-Thing Gaara’s expression was best described as half ‘Gaara’s-Death-Glare-Of-DOOM’™ and half ‘Oh-My-Kami! I’m-Surrounded-By-Crazies-And-Can’t-Get-Away’™. Temari and Kankuro were doing their damnedest to be invisible. from FoxChild
The face was pale and triangular with a mop of pale metallic blue tipped in royal purple and shaped into a rather trendy fly-away pageboy cut. The face was eye-catching on its own, even without the huge palest green eyes lined in kohl. And that wasn’t even taking into account the multiple silver studs gracing the ears of the teen, and the numerous silver pendants and black cords around his neck and wrists.
All this Whisper took in with a glance and was stored away for reference. The mildly unbalanced and totally hyper grin the teen was giving him was making Suichi nervous, judging from the strangled sounds of a dying chicken he was making. Youko snickered.
“You’re Sebastian Niwa?”
The teen beamed even brighter. “Nope! I’m the Tooth Fairy.”
Whisper’s smirk widened. “Then where’s the three pounds you owe me for those last few teeth I lost? I was planning on investing that money in my bid for world domination entitlements.”
Sebastian threw his head back and let loose a loud semi-insane bark-like laugh. He shoved his hand under Whisper’s nose, who took the proffered hand and turned it over as if looking for something.
Whisper gave the teen a look of mock-exasperation. “You honestly expect me to go with someone I don’t know? You’re supposed to at least offer candy and a ride to get that response.” FoxChild
She looked back at Severus’s plate, and saw him Transfiguring his beans into cockroaches, which marched under the table and got into Sybill’s robes. Wind That Shakes the Seas and Stars
"Hi, I'm Lavender... this is my friend, Parvati..." Both girls blushed slightly. "Welcome to Hogwarts, Harry!" Lavender’s voice oozed saccharine goop as she tossed her hair outrageously. Harry wondered what she would do if he called her on it. Realizing that he had one fuming girl on his right, he failed to see how it could get worse with another one on his left, so he just jumped right in.
Harry adopted his best clinical voice. "Nice to meet you. I noticed you keep flipping your hair over your shoulder. Did you know that's been proven to be a sign of attraction and flirtation in attempt to win a date or even a mate?"
Lavender blinked once before smiling as if she held the world in her pocket. "Is it working?" she asked, leaning forward slightly to enhance the effect of her feminine assets.
Harry decided it was time to really start messing with heads. "I don't think so. Ginny doesn't seem to be that interested in you. Have you tried flirting with Hermione yet?"
Dead silence met this statement. Lavender seemed to be stuck somewhere between horror and mortification. Parvati choked on her juice and coughed violently. Hermione looked like a deer caught in headlights, while Ginny had gone from a deep, angry red to ghostly pale in the blink of an eye.
Deciding it was time to exercise the better part of valor, he concluded by grabbing his goblet of pumpkin juice and stating blandly, "Well, then again, maybe it is working with Ginny. She's certainly not angry with you for flirting, whereas she was downright hostile to me. I'll leave you two girls to get better acquainted." Harry promptly rose yet casually walked back toward from Echoes of Power, Part 1 : Anger
Harry clenched his fists under his blankets. The rush of rage restored him wonderfully, more than the potion could. “I do,” he said softly. “I promise I’ll do it. At the moment, I rather favor boiling you in hot lead.”
“When you’re on your feet and have your wand back in hand,” Snape said, his voice sly, “I can teach you a spell that mimics that effect.” From Stronger than Hope
Septus walked over and knocked on the door to Severus’ private lab. “Oh Sevvy-poo, come out and say hello to your brother!” He caroled and the door swung open, nailing him in the face. “FUCK!” He yelled and clutched his bleeding nose.
“Hello,” Severus smirked before slamming the door shut. He roughly opened it again, hitting Septus once more in the face pulling another “FUCK!” from the bleeding man. “And don’t call me Sevvy-poo,” he growled and slammed the door shut once more.
“God, and he just went on his honeymoon, shouldn’t he be in perpetual afterglow right now?” Septus asked and the door once again flew open, smacking him in the back of the head. “FUCK AGAIN!”
“I heard that, anymore witty comments Fluffy-snooky-bear?” Severus smirked, using a name that Septus’ first really girlfriend had called him. “No? Good,” he said and slammed the door shut.
Septus stepped a few feet away from the door before speaking again. “Was he on the bottom? He’s acting like he was on the bottom.” This time the door didn’t swing open; it was blown clean off its hinges and flew into Septus, making the man yell “FUCK!” again.
“I was not on the bottom!” Severus yelled from deep within his lab and cast a spell, returning the door to its rightful place.
A bleeding and wounded Septus stepped several feet to the right, making sure he was out of the way of the evil door before once again speaking. “Did he have any sex at all? I mean, he’s acting like you castrated him...shit.” He was oh so wrong when he thought he was safe, this time the door ripped free of it’s hinges and flew after him followed by several hexes that all hit their mark with pinpoint accessory. Soon he was lying on the floor, bleeding, barely holding onto consciousness. “I’ll just shut up now,” Lol, From CatnipBy Alexander Hunter this sierese is hilarious as fuck, with lots of lemon :) Harry/Snape Yaoi goodness!
Reviewing goes against my religion and because I am against organized religion I shall endeaver to review more often.
Never emulate people who jump off bridges unless you have a bungee cord and have made your peace with death.
Write for yourself. Sing for yourself. Dance for yourself. Live for yourself. Laugh at those who doubt you.
If someone tells you that you can’t do something, laugh in their face and then prove them wrong.
I'm going to annoy you because you scare me, thus conqeuring my fear with the added bonus of personal amusement.
One of these days I'm going to create one of those little grey pop-up windows that says 'Aha! So it WAS the monkey with the banana peel on the staircase!' just to see how many people instinctively press the Yes button.
It's all fun and games until a ten-year-old holds up his sister's Monopoly bank with a water gun.
Have you ever noticed that stupid people do smart things, and smart people do stupid things?
A good friend won’t give away your hiding place during hide-and-seek. A great friend won’t give away the place you hid the bodies during a police raid.
Why does good always triumph when evil is usually a lot smarter about not rushing into things blindly?
Tell someone to do something and they’ll give you a hundred different reasons why you should do it yourself.
Never hire a speechwriter. You never know what they might make you say.
Life's all sunshine and roses until a goat eats the roses while it's raining.
Call me a bitch, and I'll take it as a compliment. Call me lady, and I'll be flattered. Call me woman, and I'll tolerate it. Call me child, and I'll try not to hurt you. But call me baby, and you will die.
Ever wonder why they use the saying 'the cat's out of the bag' to say that something is no longer a secret? What's the secret, that they just tried to kill a cat?
Have you ever noticed that people spend a whole month putting up Christmas decorations and six months to take them down?
Why is the death of a villian considered defeat and not murder?
You know what I really hate? When someone puts R&R or 'read and review!' at the end of every chapter. Every time I see that, I'm like, "Uh, hello? We just read it. Why tell us to read it when we already are?"
Dear Diary: My current plan of world domination is coming along very nicely. Now if only I can get these people to take this weird jacket off of me, I may go further with my plans.
Iswear to god, if you bother me again I will bite you!
I can't recite the alphabet backwards on a good day. What makes you think I can do so under pressure?
Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to learn a very good reason why no one fucks with me twice.
You know, het writers who bash slash writers then turn male characters into girls to pair them up with a guy really make me wonder, sometimes. I wonder if they're compensating for a fear of leaving a small, enclosed place or if they're busy going on boat rides down the Nile...
In a world where penguins march with sporks, you know you've arrived. Where at, exactly, is the question.
Iclean out my Alerts list once a year. I get rid of authors who don't write here anymore, and I take off stories by authors already on Author Alert (no point having both when one does the same job) or that are complete, or that I'm not reading anymore. You know what I realized this year? I have waaaaay too much free time.
Seriously, televised poker? Are we really that bored? Quotes from The Plot Bunny Whisperer!!
What is Sin?
Lust. makes life a whirlwind of ever climbing ambitions and longing, a tundra of true life, rather than existance. Fun.
Greed. Don't we all deserve a little pleasure for ourselves? For if life has no greater meaning, surley we should simply enjoy the fruits of life while we are still on earth? Pleasure.
Sloth. The antithesis of to laze, something which only society has created as an evil, not nature. If we cannot rest, how can we appreciate the beauty of the world? Indulgence.
Vanity. If one cannot look at oneself and love, how can anything ever be beautiful or good or wonderous without being corrupted by the dark tinge of jealousy? Appreciation
Gluttony. Good food is one of the greatest joys of life, the marvellous sensations of the world in a single pleasurable sense we have been gifted with. Excess in those things which make one happy. That is what good things are for.
Envy. If we cannot look upon better things and wish, how could we ever strive towards greater things? Ambition to beauty.
Hate. Hate is the parallel of love. Without one, how can the other exist. Great things have sprung from hatred, and without it, how would we define ourselves? It cuts the fine edges of life.
So give me a sin, then, and I'll make a beauty of it.
borrowed with out permission from Charlie - dashdot -blue
“And I told you to mind your own business Professor. And if you pull that wand, I’ll shove it so far up your ass, your eyes will glow when you say ‘Lumos’.” His attention returned to Draco. “So Draco, what IS the punishment for insulting the wives of the Head of an Ancient and Noble house?” Harry from Acts of betrayal
This litle tidbit is from my youngest sister, we'll call her sunstarie (Yes she stole it from me)
"Back up man!! You shouldn't be so close that when I breathe you can say 'dang you need a ticktack!'"
Harry groaned at the thought and buried himself more deeply in the thick, down comforter that covered him. The room was quite warm with the fire burning and the very faint smell of herbs in the air, from whatever potion Snape had been up with the previous night. Eucalyptus, ginger… some other warm smell that made Harry want to curl back into a ball and sleep more. He did not want to get out of this bed and face the day.
“As much as I enjoy having you in my bed Potter, I do think it would be difficult to explain to the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall why you are still in it when I go down to the Great Hall for breakfast and you are absent.”
Harry clenched his fists in the comforter and fought the urge to snap back a cheeky response to Snape.
“Then again…” The Potions Professor continued casually, “I could simply tell them you were exhausted from my ravishing you all night and you needed a sleep in.”
Harry was instantly up and on his feet beside the bed, smoothing down the long nightshirt that he slept in. Snape’s. He hadn’t found a way to rationalize wearing it yet. But he was working on that.
“I didn’t think you would want me telling them that.” roflmao from Necessary Affections
“Hello! I’m wet! You did something with my robes!”
Severus looked up from the letter he was reading and acknowledged Harry’s presence.
“I had them destroyed. I like you naked.”
It was a bland response, and made in Severus’ usual apathetic voice.
“Very amusing. Where are my robes?”
“I told you I destroyed them.” Just then a small knock sounded at the door.
Harry jumped, made to scurry back into the bedroom but it was too late. The door was opened and a small house elf entered, loaded down with a pile of dark robes.
“Give them to the naked boy.” Severus directed the elf. BWAAAHAHAHAH!! Necessary Affections
“Oh no, sir,” he says easily, and it unnerves me that he has the patent Slytherin tone down better than even Draco Malfoy (who, unfortunately, while having an overabundance of ambition severely lacks in the cunning department). “That was not sarcasm – that was stating a fact.” He halts and pretends to think for a while, and I notice that he has in the meantime arrived at the door to the hospital wing. He glances at me, hooks his right thumb on the waistband of his troll-sized trousers (I would very much appreciate knowing where did he get that kind of clothing – probably filched it off his relatives), and braces himself before speaking again: “Are you, by any chance, getting off on insulting people? Well, Gryffindor boys’ dorms are an adventurous place, but I haven’t heard of that particular kink before.”Pantogogue
“There are very few Slytherins…” Viridian remarks faux casually. I wonder which House he used to belong to. As far as I can remember, he always got on well with all four…
“We killed the rest back in July,” I reply in the same tone. A shadow flashes over his expression and I turn to face him with a challenge. He can try to get me flustered, but after my outwitting the Dark Lord on many an occasion, he does not stand a chance any better than Ronald Weasley does. Pantogogue
"But doesn't he look rather girly?" A man with bluish skin asked.
"You have met both Itachi and Deidara… and still pay attention if someone is girly?" a red-haired man muttered, earning glared from two of the four-man-group.
"Sasori-danna…so mean, un!" The blonde, Deidara, sniffed.
"Be silent," the fourth one hissed. "We're here to observe that brat, not fight each other!"
"Nor stare at his ass," Kisame snickered.
"Must be an Uchiha trait," Sasori mused aloud. "The duck-ass Uchiha was doing it too."
"Shut up, Sasori."
"Fine, fine…peace!"
"And I'm not girly."
"Of course not, Itachi." BWAHAHAHAHAH!! Deep Red by Pain au Chocolat
"Sounds simple," Kyuubi muttered.
"Don't jinx it!" Naruto sighed.
"Second rule, the pass-fail decision will be determined by your team’s total points. And if an examiner determines that you cheated or do something similar during the test…each action will cause you to lose two points. In other words, there will be people who will be forced to leave this place without their tests being graded. Those who try to cheat without thinking carefully will only hurt themselves."
"No cheating, then?"
"He didn't say that. He just said to think before doing so."
"Ah…"
"You’re all trying to become Chuunins. If you are a shinobi, act like a first-rate one. Also, if anyone in a team gets a zero, everyone on that team will fail. The last problem will be given 45 minutes after the exam begins. You have one hour for the exam. Begin!” Sighing, Naruto picked his pencil, and glanced at the questions.
"Kyuubi…these are really difficult!"
"Hm? Show me. WHAT THE… that sonova-" Naruto sighed at the cursing fox, and decided to cheat immediately, without even trying to solve the problems.
"Now…thankfully Jiraya taught me the right jutsu for this! Kyoujin no Rikou!" This jutsu, 'Madman's Wisdom' was a jutsu that scans the minds of people around the user for the needed information. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of chakra and doesn't cover more than few square meters. Thankfully, that space was more than enough in this situation.
It didn't take long for Naruto to get the right answers, and copy them down neatly on the answer sheets. After finishing, he enjoyed himself by staring at Gaara, noticing how handsome the pale red-head actually was.
"Well yes, Shukaku probably made sure that he doesn't have any deforms in his body," Kyuubi said wisely. Naruto ignored him, though, and turned his gaze at Neji, who was quite good-looking too.
"Yes, you have lots to choose of. But please not that dog-boy. He's too soft. You need a strong man by your side!"
"Dr. Fox…what are you talking about?"
"Commitment! Sex! Everything that matters!"
"I bet that he's one hell of a beast in the bed! Usually it's those silent dudes that are really, ya know, equipped. Imagine what kind of package that Hyuuga has!"
"What's sex?"
"WHAT? You don't know…oh yeah. You don't know!
"Then can you tell me?"
"Dr. Fox?"
"Are you blushing there?"
"Never mind! We'll talk about this later!" Kyuubi yelled, before going to the corner to weep. Deep Red by Pain au Chocolat
"He sure talks a lot."
"Wait until you talk to Shukaku. That man is mute compared to it!"
"But its vessel seems to be of the silent type."
"That's only expected. Probably couldn't put a word in because of the chatterbox inside his head." During this conversation between Naruto and Kyuubi, Shukaku was upholding his reputation by talking a mile a minute to his vessel.
"…look at him, he glanced at your direction, I know it! That blonde angel! I wonder what he looks like naked. His skin is so perfectly pale, looks like porcelain! He's definitely the type to blush easily! I wonder how far the blush could go…"
It really wouldn’t be so bad if the subject would have been something else beside that blonde beauty. Especially as Gaara, being a teenager an all, couldn't help but to picture Naruto under him.
"Fuck it, Shukaku! Shut up!" the red-head growled inwardly. Deep Red by Pain au Chocolat
"My NID-senses are tingling," Deidara suddenly said.
"You what senses?" Sasori frowned.
"NID. Naruto In Danger-senses!" the blonde exclaimed. Kisame wanted to drown himself; enough about the kid already!
"Kisame!" Itachi growled.
'Oh no,' the former mist-nin thought.
"Hai, Itachi-san?"
"We're going back!" Deep Red by Pain au Chocolat
NARUTO!!
Dr. Fox?
WAKE UP!!
Why?
YOUR TEAM IS BEING ATTACKED!!
Naruto didn't care.
THE PINK-HAIRED GIRL IS DEAD!!
Naruto didn't care.
THE SNAKE-FACE RAPED SASUKE!
Naruto didn't care.
UCHIHA SASUKE IS PREGNANT WITH HARUNO SAKURA'S CHILD!
Naruto didn't…what? Wait!
"How's that even possible? Shouldn't it be the other way around?"
"You're awake! Thank God! I was lying, brat. Just wake up, your team needs you."
"Sakura's alive? Sasuke's a virgin?"
"To my knowledge yeah."
"Oh…" Deep Red by Pain au Chocolat
What did bother him, however, was the fact that they were having sex next door and he was forced to listen!!
And then, Hoshigaki Kisame cried himself to sleep.Deep Red by Pain au Chocolat
'I'mnotapedophileI'mnotapedophileI'mnotapedophile,' Kakashi thought. 'But man, what a perfect uke he is!' Deep Red by Pain au Chocolat
“Send her a note,”Shukaku suggested. “A little love poem. ‘Roses are red. Violets are blue. When the time is right, I shall kidnap you.’” revenge is a bitch
“So what’ll it be tonight, Ita-kun?”
“Maybe a shower, bed, and sex” Itachi muttered. “And not in that particular order.”
“What was that?” Naruto asked.
“Soup,” Itachi answered. um...i forgot?
‘…Harry?’
The host frowned at the strained voice Kuronue used, still regarding the cat curiously.
‘Yes?’
‘That’s the false form of a behemoth.’
Harry froze, tensing up. So that’swhy Kuronue was sounding so stressed.
‘Behemoth as in ‘Absorbs any and all magic before devouring the castor; M. O. M. Classification: XXXXX’ Behemoth?’
‘Yes. That Behemoth.’
‘Ah…Well…It hasn’t eaten me yet. Maybe it likes me.’ The Essence Of His Soul by My Echoing Silence
“Those two had best hope that the last person is the strongest of the three, otherwise I’ll be beyond pissed off.” Naruto muttered darkly as he swept openly down the darkened corridor.
“You need to keep your emotions in check.” A voice from above him said.
“And you need to stop stalking me all the time Itachi-kun.” Naruto countered, not halting in his walk.
“Stalking? I am merely observing my target.” Itachi said calmly in defense.
“Right and I am a Squishachew.” Naruto countered under his breath. Inner Secrets
“You wound me.” Orochimaru said with a twisted smirk as he licked his lips with his disgustingly long and thick tongue. “Are you not pleased to see your former comrade?” He asked as he placed his left hand on his hip and shot the dark haired ninja an inquiring glance.
“No.” Itachi deadpanned. “I have no interest in the weak.” He responded coldly.
Amusement fled the snake eyes, and it was replaced by anger. “I am not weak. The weakest here is that brat you have in your arms.” The snake user hissed venomously.
“Incorrect. Naruto-kun is the second strongest here, while you hold third and final place.” Was the Uchiha’s comeback, one that he said so impassively that one could think he was disinterested in the whole affair. OHH! owned! Inner Secrets
Squaring his chest and assuming the proper manly pose of showing-off-for-ones-wife, he stomped over to the traumatized insect and brought his foot down with a satisfying crunchy squish. Grinning cockily, he turned back to Lily and took his foot off.
“See? Nothing to it.”
“Oh, I see all right.” Lily intoned darkly, frowning, “And so does that bug.”
“Er, what?”
Lily pointed down. The cockroach waved a broken leg in greeting. Harry clapped. Yes little Harry! appaude at yur parent's idioticy!! Necromancers Anonymous
That was the last thing he remembered before the blackness took over his vision like an obese woman in a bikini. nice simile Necromancers Anonymous
“If you train Sasuke to death, I'll... I'll..” Naruto started to threaten, but then paused, trying to think of a suitable punishment from depriving him of his best friend. Suddenly, he grinned, sending a two second glance in Rin's direction. Rin blinked in confusion at the mischievous look that had been directed at her. “I'll burn all of your porn.”
Kakashi started to say something in response but evidently had forgotten about the woman sitting next to him. “Porn?” Rin echoed shrilly, catching a suddenly nervous jonin's attention. Well, it was either her shrill voice or the sharp grip that she had suddenly acquired on his ear. “You have porn? And your kids know about it?”
Sakura cottoned on to Naruto's mischief making. “Oh, yeah... Loads of it.” she said, her voice deceptively mild. Her eyes, however, were glinting in amusement. “He makes no effort to hide the fact he worships the great deity of porn.”
Sasuke hid his smirk and nodded, careful to keep his face blank. “Yes. He's even been so kind as to read portions of it out loud to us so we may get a taste of what is to come.” Their arms crossed over their chests, Sakura and Naruto nodded sagely in agreement.
Rin was outraged, the words 'innocent children!' and 'porn!' at the forefront of her mind. Kakashi was nervous, the words 'damn brats!' and 'pain!' dancing through his mind. And Inari was confused.
“Hey, what's porn?” For the love of my friends
"The baskbirdman is just PMSing." Daray said gently behind Rahkesh's back. Changes in a time of War
"I am never going to let you live this down." Silas warned his cousin as they went to the portkey site.
"Live what down?"
"Your mother having the rescue you from a pissed off snakemanbird." Silas replied smugly.
Behind their backs the adult rolled their eyes at each other. Changes in a time of War
"Vampy sounds neglected." Chenzira said. Daray's head snapped up and he glared furiously, magic glowing at his fingertips.
"Fengyang at 2 o'clock." Adila hissed softly.
"Hmmm, I'm guessing watching you feeling my ass didn't sit well with him." Daray said.
"But it is such a nice ass." Esi said with an overly dramatic regretful sigh.
"Some other time darling." Chenzira said.
"When Fengyang figures out that he's better off just playing along." Daray agreed.
"Ooooh. Now that isan idea." Esi said.
"Help." Rahkesh said, "I'm surrounded by hormonal sex addicts."
"And youThunder are welcome to come along." Adila added over her shoulder.
"Ha!" Rahkesh laughed. "tell me, do lion fae always begin business deals by molesting their business partners?"
"Cute. Real cute." Chenzira said. Changes in a time of War
"Emergency landing." Rahkesh agreed. "Oh and Daray?" The vampire turned to look at him. "That was the cheesiest line I've ever heard. "Lick my fangs?" You need to have your tongue removed for criminal cliche-ness." Rahkesh sneered. With the slightly pink and silent vampire glaring Changes in a time of War
“Crouch, get your arse over here.” Barty was on his back, floating with the waves in a leisure mood. He moved only when a spell came dangerously close to his crotch. Heaven shine a light down on Me
"Hellhound," Sirius explained to them with a grin. "They make excellent referees. Legend says that if you cheat beneath the eyes of a Hell-spawn, you lose your soul."
Though keeping a wary eye on Remus, Clovis still managed to look indignant. "You dare suggest I would cheat?"
"Insane, remember?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "You can hardly hold it against me."
More times than he liked Severus had been on the receiving end of the Marauders' outrageous impudence -- he never thought the day would come that he would be grateful for it. the Marrage Stone
"You're welcome to try it," Black told the man with a grin. "But I should probably warn you, after I beat you, I'm going to let him eat both of you. He hasn't been fed yet today." He motioned toward the nearby Hellhound who licked his chops on cue. the Marrage Stone
In the meantime, the three aurors pulled the Dursleys—including Dudley—out of their seats. The fat pig of an uncle made as if to struggle, but was stopped by the disturbingly eager, bloodthirsty look on Shacklebolt’s face. “Resist arrest, please!” the man muttered.
If Severus hadn’t known about one of Shacklebolt’s first ever cases—the tragic murders of three Muggleborn children by their parents about ten-fifteen years back—he would have been a bit more, well, concerned. They didn’t need dirty aurors on their side; they had too much on their hands fighting the Dark Lord without fighting corruption within their own ranks. Shacklebolt was usually a rather gentle man—it was only child abusers and other heinous criminals that brought out his rougher side. For Duty and Honor
“Well, Tom and I were happy until you stole him from me, you home-wrecking slut!” Chris retorted mock-angrily fishing of the roof
Before the golem could snap out a sharp comment, he was knocked forward as Cyriacus stumbled out of the shadows. The two black haired men tumbled onto the floor, cursing. Cyriacus grabbed hold of the golem’s shoulders and rolled so the golem was on top of him.
Antares blinked, “What are you two doing?”
“Getting off on each other obviously,” the golem mock purred.
Cyriacus spared the older boy a withering look. “Untangling our clothes you blind idiot! Harry I told you not to wear the buckle trench coat, you’re a walking death trap.”
“Well who told you to go and wear one of those mesh shirts you like so much?” Harry retorted.
“I didn’t have a choice exactly, Anthony dragged me to Twilight’s Haven and you know as well as I do that everyonedresses like this there.” Cyriacus snarled irritably.
Harry slapped at Cyriacus’s hands and carefully untangled his buckle and straps from the delicate mesh shirt. “Did you have a good time?”
“It was passable; I could have gone without the groping though.”
“Can’t we all?” Harry replied amused. “I bet the first one was a Vampire, wasn’t it?”
“No, it was a half Siren, half-Veela.” Cyriacus answered with a slight shudder.
Harry snickered. “Was it the scarily beautiful kind or the hideously gag-worthy kind?”
“The latter and I have to say if I hadn’t had my dose of Hereditas suppressum, I certainly wouldn’t have needed it after being groped by that thing!”
Harry laughed uproariously as he finished untangling their clothes. “I sympathize, truly I do.”
“Bastard,” Cyriacus grumbled.
“No, that’s you Cy.” Harry retorted with a grin as he rolled off of his Creator and got to his feet before turning around and offering the other man a hand up.
Cyriacus took the offered hand and climbed to his feet, brushing off his dragonhide trousers. “How silly of me to forget, thank you ever so much for reminding me Harry.”
“My pleasure, Cyriacus.” Harry said cheerfully as he bowed.
Lucius Malfoy groaned. “Now there are two of you, how will we survive the next three weeks?”
“Just suck it up like a man,” Harry and Cyriacus snapped at the same time, scowling.
“Scary.” The Lestrange twins whispered, staring at the two dark haired men who were essentially the same person.
Harry sneered and gave them the finger, “Sod off.”
“I guess you didn’t come out exactly the same,” Cyriacus said with some amusement Irreversible destiny
“Not now Uncle I am about to execute some one.” Ground out Harry.
The walrus blinked. “Right carry on then.” Hastily retreating inside. -"Powers that be" by Helltanz98
“You’re completely right, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let your guard down and trust the sincere intentions of others,” Amar stated seriously.
I snorted, “How long were you waiting to say that to me?”
“About two weeks, but that’s beside the point,” he chuckled.-"Venom Kisser" by VampyricRedemption
“Oh, shut up,” she growled while blushing. “I do not sound like those dodos.” She let out an impatient noise in the back of her throat. “I just got used to him being around. You just brought it back to my attention. Now go let the prat in before he wanks off in my bloody roses!” Lupin choked on his tea, sputtering in shock. -"Venom Kisser" by VampyricRedemption
“Aye-aye, Captain,” I chuckled as I went back to start on my omelet. “Ahoy maties, we be treading amongst dangerous females.” I cracked the eggs open and smiled as I put them in the pan. “But luckily for you, you will be in my stomach unless she decides to cut me open and let you out into the world. If that is the case, it was nice while it lasted.”
“There is that disturbing fact that Suren likes to talk to his food while cooking,” Mira laughed musically. “That may be another reason why he couldn’t do his potions properly. He likes to endear himself to the ingredients.” She wrinkled her nose as she spoke to the werewolf. “That teacher sounds like one that would beat him senseless if Suren decided to do so.”
“I believe his classmates might begin to question his sanity as well if he did something along those lines,” Remus supplied helpfully with a grin.-"Venom Kisser" by VampyricRedemption
Snape edged over to the troll, and decided from the cracked mess that was once its underdeveloped skull that he could safely rule out ‘unconscious’. He gave Harry Potter a swift glance, and noted his terse nod in response.
At last. Proof of his deeply-held belief that children were all vicious, murderous little bastards twice as bad as any Dark Lord. -"A Mistaken Sorting" by Silver Pard
Harry stepped forward as in a trance.
"God?" He said, Firewhiskey still in hand.
"Mr. Riddle! Stop this nonsense!" Came a voice, and Minerva McGonagal came to view, stepping beside, a currently chuckling Albus Dumbledore, whose wand was glowing very brightly, the source of the 'divine light' they had encountered.
Harry's shoulders drooped once more. "Aww...and I thought I was gonna go to Firewhiskey and Women Heaven." He said, wiping away fake tears.
"Yo-...You idiot!" A slap was resoundingly heard as Aurora Sinistra's hand came upon Harry's face.
(Real)Tears ran down Harry's face, as he squatted down a dark corner, sniffling and crying about 'evil women' and how Aurora wouldn't be included in his Firewhiskey and Women Heaven.
The three Marauders stared at the scene blankly before breaking out in laughter, making their professor cry harder. from Owl treats and firewhisky, by Artemis Fei
Harry immediately appeared next to Aurora. "They set the mood dear...how about we finish it?" He said, trying to put on the huskiest voice he could muster.
His proclamation fell on deaf ears as the group left to go back to Hogwarts, leaving Harry alone back in the clearing. Harry pouted once more, as he started the trek back.
Then, with a grunt, Rutilus Leo flashed back into his hand and cut through a sickly purple spell that was rushing towards him. harry immediately changed his stance, his behavior immediately turning sober.
A set of applause was heard to his right, and Voldemort stepped out of the shadows, a hood covering his face.
"I see...so you are Tom Riddle" He snarled, at saying his name. "It appears you are stronger than you look."
Harry only stared, still gripping the hilt. "Your facade...is interesting. Alcoholic by day, Hit-Wizard by night is it?" Voldemort let out a mirthless chuckle. "Interesting."
"Alcoholic is such a mean term. I prefer to be called, 'He Who Must Have Some Firewhiskey', it sounds much better."
"The usual hero banter then is it?" Voldemort said, circling around Harry, his footsteps crunching in the snow. "I will ignore all of your sins against my army..."
"If I join you?" Harry said, finishing after Voldemort. "Sorry, but these guys give me an infinite amount of Firewhiskey. They give much better pay." He said smiling. "Besides, your usual homosexual orgy in those caves don't appeal to me, thanks." Owl treats and firewhisky, by Artemis Fei
Albus nodded, his eyes still containing that twinkle. "Please do not underestimate him Alastor." Dumbledore continued to smile, glancing around the room.
Moody hobbled closer to Harry, his eye now staring straight at him. "Then you wouldn't mind if we...test his mettle? Constant Vigilance as I always say!" He yelled the latter part of his sentence to the whole room, which served to make Hary and Moody now the focal point of attention.
"Sure why not?" Harry smirked. 'Besides, I doubt Albus will let me duel with Moody anyway...it's a win win situation!"
"Go ahead Alastor." Albus said, as if reading Harry's thoughts, and he probably was.
"What!?" Harry yelled. "We can't duel here! I haven't had...uhh...breakfast yet! Everyone knows you can't duel unless you have breakfast!" He tried to chuckle, but the antagonizing looks he got from the members were scaring him.
"Riddle. It's dinner." McGonagall said blandly, a smile tugging on her lips.
"Exactly! Which means we can wait until tomorrow!" Harry said, already looking for an escape route.
Moody chuckled sardonically, already transfiguring the circular table into a large dueling stage, filled with a place to seat spectators. With everyone looking at him like a coward, Harry served to protect his pride. Squaring his shoulders and taking out his wand, his eyes turned fierce. Immediately, he bolted, turning around, trying to run back the way he came only to hit a solid wall. He fell back on his back, now having a massive migraine.
"No escape routes I'm afraid dear." Arwen said, her wand in hand as she locked the door.
"Devil woman!" Harry muttered, rubbing his new wound. Sighing in defeat at the low looks the Order members were giving him, he shuffled his feet slowly to the opposite end of the dueling stage, Moody already on the opposite side. Most of them looked like they were going to enjoy Harry getting utterly destroyed by Moody.
Harry sighed again, only serving to make Moody grin more and Albus' twinkles rise in ferocity. "I hate my life."
"Don't make this too easy for me boy." Moody said from the other side, raising his staff. The Order members started to seat themselves, some even making a betting pool to the winner. Unfortunately for Harry, the odds were already against him, 500 to 1. Fortunately for Dumbledore though, he bet on Harry, already imagining how many lemon drops he would buy.
"Are the competitors ready?" Albus said, a Sonorus charm on his voice. Moody nodded, while Harry looked like he was crying on his sleeve muttering things about how life was easier when he had his alcohol. "The duel will begin when the red spark shoots from my wand!" Owl treats and firewhisky, by Artemis Fei
Konan’s lips parted momentarily, before she shut them and shook her head. Eyeing her boyfriend’s pleasured smirk as he watched the chaos unfold the bluenette simply sighed and said, “You know what. I’m not even going to bother.” She shuddered, “God, you look happier than when you told Tobi that the Indian food he was eating was made of kittens’ hearts.” Stuck in sanity by Chishiokage
Itachi promptly flipped him the bird, “Shut the fuck up Pein-in-the-ass.” Stuck in sanity by Chishiokage
Pein leaned back, his hands folded neatly in his lap, a smug smirk gracing his features as he watched the singer attempt to pull his flawless composure back together. ‘Ah the sound of chaos,’ he thought fondly.
Silence is Golden, duct-tape is Silver
"I'm not Crazy. I'm psycotic. There's a difference."
"When you're blue, a good friend will ask what's wrong. A true friend will try to dislodge what's chocking you."
"When you get thrown in jail, a good friend will come bail you out. A true friend will be in there with you going "Damn, we f--d up."
"A good friend will help you up when you fall. A true friend will laugh at you and then trip you again."
"A good friend will keep you secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them."
"There's nothing that can't be fixed with: ducttape, chocolate, or by running it over."
"My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you all at the same time."
I'm awesome. Agree or die.
"You know you're crazy when you know the Men in white by name."
"An essay is an attempt to explain something that could have been said in two sentences"
"Life isn't passing me by. It's trying to run me over." from Haruka-hime
“If it’s not, I’ll sue myself for malpractice,” James said. Grissom shook his head. from Prodigy by ChipmonkOnSpeed
Within five minutes, many Death Eaters decided they would rather simply turn themselves in to the nearest Auror, than have their faces burned off by a teenager who was laughing maniacally. from Prodigy by ChipmonkOnSpeed
“You see,” James called, loudly and to no one in particular. “The problem with the Light side is; they do not attempt to scare anyone from the Dark. If you are a Dark wizard, and you are arrested, what the fuck is that going to do, eh? Now, if you take a Dark wizard and melt his skin off, maybe he’ll realize that the Light means business.” As he spoke, James blasted an approaching Death Eater, he fell in pain. “Dude, I was just talking about this.” from Prodigy by ChipmonkOnSpeed
James had gone for business casual in his attire, instead of the ‘thug casual’ he usually wore. James was a fan of the hustling business. Just as the Hogwarts staff had done upon meeting him, most people underestimated his intelligence, leaving him with a wide advantage.
He smirked at Andron, who had tried to dress up as well; Andron considered wearing a clean shirt dressed up. “DeeDee, you worry too much. Slow your roll, get a grip, relax, take a deep breath. Have you decided what you’re thankful for this year?”
The previous year, Andron had tried to come up with something he was thankful for on Thanksgiving. All he could come up with was, “Uh... stuffing?”
“Yes, actually, I have. Safe sex charms! Comfort and protection!” Andron announced. James slapped his palm against his forehead, muttering. “Well, what’s yours?” Andron challenged.
“The Human Genome Project. Duh. If only I’d been born ten years sooner. . .” James said wistfully. Andron shook his head.
“Only my friend. Only him. No one else would give a flying fuck. Jeez, Jay, the only normal thing about you is that you’re an alcoholic!”
“I am not an alcoholic! I just choose not to stop.”
“Could you stop?”
“That’s not something I’m willing to find out!” James said with determination. Andron stopped walking and slugged his arm.
“You still smoke, don’t you?” he demanded. James led the rest of the walk out of the hall.
“Of course.”
“So you drink and smoke, anything else?”
“I eat and sleep, as well.”
“Bastard.”
“You know it.” from Prodigy by ChipmonkOnSpeed
"You've reached the Association of Drunken Youth Prodigies, Drunk Youth Prodigy speaking, how may I help you?" James asked, sounding like he said it all the time. Andron snorted beer out of his nose. James flashed a grin at him. Prodigy by ChipmonkOnSpeed
“No brakes. No stopping. Go wheeeee. . .” James murmured. Grissom turned to Catherine. from Prodigy by ChipmonkOnSpeed
The fire alarm went off, soaking James as he ran toward the scene. Andron was dressed as a robber; bandana, reflective sunglasses, hat, overly big sweatshirt. He had one of James’ automatic weapons and was waving it freely. In a deep and nearly unrecognizable voice, he was demanding, “Morphine! Acetaminophen! Pepto Bismol! Viagra!”
James paused in pulling out his rubber bullet loaded gun to stop himself from laughing. He planted his feet, squared his shoulder, and pulled the trigger one, two, three times. Shoulder, knee, and . . . somewhere in between. Andron let out a scream as he dropped to his hands and knees.
“Ah! Son of a bitch! Lord love a duck!” his voice made it seem like he was nearly crying. Hospital security dragged him up, but Andron broke away and ran out. from Prodigy by ChipmonkOnSpeed
“What has come of the world?” a very old man next to Dumbledore asked out of the silence. “Have I truly lived long enough to see the decline of the human race?”
“Whoa buddy. I haven’t even gotten to the electro shock weapons yet,” James said in indignation. Andron walked up beside him, and both of them looked at the old man.
“Electro shock weapons?” Andron asked with a hint of surprise. “They let you have those?”
“Perhaps. I might have borrowed them. Ish.” Andron rolled his eyes. from Prodigy by ChipmonkOnSpeed
“Oh. Him. Yes. Found him. He’s in LA, at a hospital. He’ll be fine, bright and shiny, back in England tomorrow. Anything else, old man?” James asked. He was starting on his sixth cup of coffee, and his grandfather was staring at the cup. “What?”
“Do you have an addiction?”
“Yeh think? I’ve been drinking coffee since I was five. It is truly a drink more divine than vodka.”
“Can you do anything without becoming addicted to it?” the older man asked.
“Yes! I’m not addicted to… um…no. I guess not.”
“Alcohol, work, coffee, pills, cigarettes, sarcasm, threatening people, not sleeping…” Albus said. James glared at him. “Oh? Am I wrong?”
“No…” from Prodigy by ChipmonkOnSpeed
Once sure he had the liniment in all the important places, Crane put on the brown leather pants and vest that hugged his body, and padded back to his room, barefoot, totally unaware of the chaos he left in his wake, not to mention the trauma many of the straight males received in the moments following. The Essence Of His Soul by My Echoing Silence
"I reckon it's the way you kept hitting on her," Itachi stated flatly, gaining the attention of his two cousins. Shisui tried to resist the random urge to laugh madly towards the dark clouds, only to end up with his face upturned and mouth open, without a sound coming out.
"Gracious God," Ayako muttered, and glared at the idiot. "Freak." My Homicidal Prince by Pain au Chocolat
"Very well," Itachi muttered, though the tingling sensation caused by the touch of his fingers against the pale, soft skin made him feel somewhat... odd. Not normal. A bit distracted. My Homicidal Prince by Pain au Chocolat
"Tsch, you don't share? Shame on you. Fine, let's tell blonde jokes."
"What are those?" Naruto asked, and Kyuubi smirked.
"I'll just give you an example, ne?"
"Uh…okay…?"
"Let's see…"Kyuubi purred. A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!" GWAHAHAHAAA!!"
"Ahahaha…ha…haa…Didn't like it? Well I have another one! A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate di
FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination
Poll: What Story should i restart first? Vote Now!
United States