Really. Does anyone care who I am? You're probably here for the fics so why don't we just move along now and scroll down, ya?

Scroll...

Keep scrolling...

Oh, very well. If you insist... :D

Greetings! I am Atropos, the oldest of the Moirae (that's the Three Fates to you mere mortals) and arguably, the coolest and most awesome! Why? Because I get to decide how and when you DIE! (insert evil laugh track here) And yes, I know my weapon of choice is supposed to be a pair of shears, but an automatic, double action, double-edged, half-serrated knife kicks more ass don't you think?

I miss the good old days of plague and pestilence and war when I had a grand time of grabbing a handful of threads in my hand and, snip! Today, with your peace treaties and advances in medicine and safety devices and stuff, I sit bored out of my wits waiting for some old-timer to keel over while he surfs Internet porn, or anticipating gun-toting middle school kids to re-enact a game of Half-Life in a library (boo!). Thank Dionysus for heart and liver disease or else my threads would rival those gargantuan balls of twine you humans keep submitting to the Guinness Book of World Records.

Seeing my workload has been drastically cut, I have decided I am tired of just playing with the destinies of you pitiful humans, you who have no special powers like a god, a Superfriend, the X-men, or a Pokemon. Tsk, tsk. Lo, I descend from the non-broadband-and-4G-ready confines of Mount Olympus (which needs major redecorating, by the way. My father Zeus is SO behind the times.) to be a Puppet Master of the inherently more interesting characters you create in your books, comics, movies, and TV. That's right. Atropos, controller of human destiny, is an unabashed gazillion-year-old fangirl. And proud of it.

You will notice my pets are these two dorks who call themselves 'GetBackers'. The one called Mido Ban I particularly like to torture because I can't seem to make the guy drop dead even though he smokes a carton of cigarettes a day. Sheesh. That, and because he carries that killjoy Aesclepius in his arm. Aesclepius and I have this love-hate relationship, he being a healer and I, a bringer of death and such.

Though, ironically, when Ban uses him, he becomes this nasty brute called "Snake Bite". How fun. Now, I have visions of a snake dressed in leather and slinked around a Harley hissing at everyone who looks at him funny.

Amano Ginji is just like dad in the way he smites everyone with his thunder and lightning. Except, Ginji is way nicer, cuter, turns into this adorable chibi thing, and doesn't screw every hot chick that passes his way disguised as a swan or some such beast (and what kind of stupid freak nymphet gets seduced by a friggin' bird, anyway, huh?). For being such a sweetie, I occasionally reward Ginji with a kiss from a genki cutie named Natsumi.:D

The one with the endless supply of threads, he who calls HIMself Kazuki, can so play me in a soap opera version of the Iliad (damn you Homer, me and my sisters have names, you know), although Aphrodite would probably beg to differ, hee-hee. And I swear, Akabane Kuroudo is after my job. Unfortunately, I can't kill him so I'll just let him do all my killing for me (He can't borrow my knife, however. Nah-uh).

I also have my eye on Beelzebub, Fairy Tail, Fullmetal Alchemist, 07-Ghost, Mononoke, Darker Than Black, Kekkaishi, Saiunkoku Monogatari, Tegami Bachi, Sengoku Basara, Gin no Saji, Natsume Yuujinchou and the insanity that is Gintama, but eh, I'm having too much fun with GB at the moment to begin pulling their strings.*

*Edited because I watched FMA: 4-Koma Theater, and after what poor Kimblee had to go through (twice!), I decided to give him some loving. Even death goddesses are nice that way, LOL. BTW, why the hell doesn't FF accept strikethrough text here? Makes me wanna strikethrough my knife (and shears for good measure) into this site's programmers (I kid, I kid).

Shounen-ai, yaoi, yuri and their various incarnations don't squick me out (especially when well-written and IC), but the closest I'll likely come to these in my writing is harmless teasing and wicked double entendres--unless canon wants to flirt and I get yanked out of my very comfortable and roomy yaoi closet. ;)

I usually push the limits when it comes to subject matter and am a horribly pedantic nerd. So, if you happen to learn more than you ever cared to know about stuff like BDSM, robotics, sex dolls, summer festivals, aspen trees, and other useless crap from reading my fanfic; consider yourself blessed. Knowledge like that can only come from millennia of experience - and a few hours of Internet research. Apparently, I, Atropos, am not only a taker, I'm a giver as well. Now bow, you heathen mortals!

So, I'll be seeing you. But for your sake, hopefully not too soon (winks and flashes glinting knife).

In the meantime, enjoy reading (while I try to pry off a tongue that's cemented firmly in my cheek). Oh, and one other thing. Since FF so nicely, awesomely decided to do their own snip-snipping on my transition breaks in some of my older fics, if a scene transition seems awkward to you, please give me the benefit of the doubt and kindly assume a break was originally intended there. You see, even if I am Death incarnate, I'm actually not that random. Seriously. I'm not.

I am, however, too lazy to fix a problem that wasn't of my doing in the first place. I think I might be motivated enough to do something to the party or parties that caused it, though ...

(And no, I did not just hold a knife to anyone's throat while saying that)

:D Cheers!