"I am always at a loss to know how much to believe of my own stories."
-Washington Irving, Tales of a Traveler

Hello, and welcome to my profile page! Unfortunately, despite my writing skills, I tend to have a lot of trouble writing bios and stuff, so let's keep this simple, shall we?

Name: NOT Matthew (no, that isn't me in Help! I'm Stuck in a Self-Insert Fic!)
Gender: Male
Age: Older than I act (see quote below)
Location: In my own little world (it's okay, they know me there)
Likes: Nintendo, Mario, Sonic, Disney, Legos, Jesus
Dislikes: Nintendo Haters, Flaming Liberals AND Right-Wing Lunatics, Satan

Now that the basics are out of the way, let's talk about how my fanfictions work...

Ratings: I will never write anything over K+ level. This is manly because I greatly detest sex (six-year-old potty humor NOT included), language, and drugs, and thus I will never put such things in my stories. I might read other people's stories that have these things if the story itself is well-written, maybe even put one or two of them in my favorites list, but those stories will never be over the T rating. Also, I might put a little violence in my stories (can't really have a story without a conflict, now can we?), but, like I said above, nothing worse than what you will find on the Cartoon Network (outside of Adult Swim, obviously).
Reviews: Good news, everyone, I'm gonna start leaving reviews! (crickets chirp) Um... Okay... Anyway, I used to be rather shy about handing out reviews 'cuz I was always afraid that any form of criticism would get taken the worng way and hurt someone's feelings. Just recently, I have come across a pathetically easy solution: Only leave reviews for stories I like! Duh! At any rate, expect me to start leaving glowing reviews if your story is good and give some gentle, but still very helpful criticism if necessary. And, of course, if your story winds up in my favorites list, review or not, I think it's amazing, so congratulations.
Updates: This is the one that everyone hounds me on. In general, I update each currently running fanfiction at least once a month (hopefully, even more often than that). However, sometimes, a few things get in the way. During the summer, I got on (sometimes really long) vacations with my family, and every December, I put all my fanfics on hold while I write a holiday special. So, if one of my stories hasn't been updated in a while, don't panic, I will get around to it eventually. Nothing annoys me more than someone just stopping a really good story, and I sure don't want to be accused of that myself!

So there you have it. That's my bio, now read my stories!

“Critics who treat "adult" as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adults themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence... When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
-C.S. Lewis