I'm Geno Calamari. Arrogant Drunk and the Philosopher of the Human Condition. I write for the fandom Naruto (DBZ South) for my own edification and the corruption of the ideals represented therein. I fight with such weapons as callous logic, rapier-wit,and stark realism. In my opinion, the large majority of fanfic authors in Naruto have lost sight of the meaning and purpose of the show, much as Kishimoto has abandoned the core truths of his story in favor of pandering to the masses. (Do you really think those 'Which character is your favorite' polls the manga exhibits in full-color, two-page-spreads are for our benefit? Don't be naive.)
That is one thing you will never see me do. I might, on the occasional moment-of-weakness, have characters act in a manner I think to be cool or flashy, but I will never pander. Expect me to write that with which you do not agree and expect me to make you hate your favorite characters.

Or you can stop reading. That doesn't concern me in the least. I don't write to gain prestige or name-recognition or to feed my insatiable ego. I write to open eyes, to improve the quality of Naruto, and to provide an alternative to the stream of vomit Kishimoto is currently spewing. I will, to the best of my ability, make you think. Naruto, in its own way, is the perfect anime/manga to provoke thought and consideration. It is complex, with many levels of depth that I believe to be so convenient that Kishimoto must have created them accidentally rather than by design. The stable of characters is deep and broad, providing me with ample targets for razor-sharp barbs and painful truths.
Do I like the happy ending? Just as much as anyone else. But this is Naruto, and to be deadly honest, it is absurd that so many characters still maintain the potential for happiness at this late date. It is odd to me that with such a large supporting cast, so few of them have suffered fatal or crippling injuries.
I like the happy ending, but few characters will achieve it. Expect suffering, because life has a large share of suffering in it, and the characters in Kishimoto's manga do not share in it enough.

Irony, happiness, pain, suffering, futility, amorality, inevitability, rationality, callousness, heartbreak, and compassion are a small list of what you can expect to find in my stories. I will pervert characters' behavior, I will cast shadow about their every action, and I will make them as real as humanly possible. Also, I will attempt to stay objective in my writing. Expect, more than anything else I have said, Sasuke to suffer. Because angst, hatred, and revenge will only lead to ruin.
Always.

Favorite Characters:
Naruto, Neji, Kiba, Lee, Tenten, Ino, Temari, Anko, Itachi, Ibiki

Least Favorite Characters: (The ones I hate...)
Sasuke, Gaara, Kakashi, Shikamaru, Hinata

Works Completed:

Perfect (Things Get Better)
- Continuity Error (On hold. A larger project than anticipated. Need to build a whole ninja village.)

Experimental (or 'Me Playing Around')
- Impasse (One-Shot Naruto POV experiment) Posted the damn thing for the hell of it.
- Shoutei (Itachi POV experiment One-Shot)
- Hardened by Fire (Sasuke-pyro One-Shot)
- Interlude: Life of a Modern Kage (Naruto +15 years One-Shot)
- Brothers (Sasuke & Itachi One-Shot)
- Complications (Essentially a drabble, total over-the-top, Hong Kong-style, fight scene. Inspired by Exalted Sorcery and the One-And-Only Charm System.)

Realism (Welcome to the Cold and Unforgiving)
- It's a Thankless Job (Hinata One-Shot +8-20 years)
- Asinine Rationalizations (The bulk of the continuity here on FFN.)
- Something or Other (Screwed-up relationships, Sakura-style. Only on Mediaminer. http://www.mediaminer.org/fanfic/view_ch.php/70752/225898#fic_c

Updated last: 9/7/05

Girl-chama: Oh no. I'd never imagine that there were Japanese people in Japan. :grins: nope. Hadn't crossed my mind. But anyway, are you having a good time?

shinnotooni: You know what? You're right. There's really no reason we should be arguing about this. It's purely theoretical, as my views on Shikamaru will not come into play in AR at all. He might get a moment or two to speak about something, but he's not going to have anything devoted to him. There's no reason I should continue to attack the opinions of a complementary repeat-reviewer, so I'm sorry.
Thanks for reading and your compliments. I'll try my best to keep up to code.