| SmileVampy |
Author has written 17 stories for Harry Potter, Dark Tower series, Secret Window, Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal, Misc. Books, Shakespeare, Good Omens, Boondock Saints, and Brokeback Mountain. To my faithful readers: I'm back! (For the time being) Chapter 8 of The Harry Potter 'Ships Log is up! Am almost done with Satire of the Lambs Ch. 4 (although I've been "almost done" for a while...)! Love, SmileVampy Feel free to email me or friend me on Livejournal. If this is your first time here, have fun and take a look around. But remember: Every time a person reads a story and doesn't review, a fanfic author falls down dead. :-) Prepare yourselves for a bio of epic proportions... Hopefully, It’s not too boring for you. Planned Fics (Will not necessarily amount to anything, though...): Beast Within: Lord of the Flies. Years after the boys were rescued, Ralph still can't put the past behind him. When a chance encounter in a pub destroys everything he thought he knew... can he learn to forgive? His Obsession: Scrubs. I think the Janitor is stalking me... or something. Sure, he's always given me special attention before, if only to torment me. But this time, it's different. Strange Happenings at Pemberley: P&P. A few months after their wedding, Darcy and Elizabeth’s world is turned upside-down when an absurd gaggle of admirers arrive on their doorstep. The occasion? Why, the Annual Pride and Prejudice Convention, of course! Hypocrite: Boondock Saints. Paulie couldn’t talk like a man. He couldn’t fight like a man. But he could take it like a man. A look inside the psyche of FBI Agent Smecker. Status: Amazing Bio... in 3rd Person! SmileVampy is the nom de plume of Jessie, a 19 year old Connecticutian girl... The name comes from a doodle she drew way back in 8th grade of a smiley face with fangs... She was born. Then, she grew up. Sort of. Jessie goes to college in Massachusetts. She will be a sophomore this fall, and is majoring in Creative Writing. She loves living life. Even when things get too stressful, or sad, or rage-inducing... She can't get enough of being alive. She has odd mood swings, and oftentimes will cry at the drop of the hat (although she's been working on that!) If you know SmileVampy in person, then you will know that she is a rather odd bird; half of the time she is dark, brooding, withdrawn, and antisocial... the other half she is amiable, chatty, and forward. She is always sarcastic... And never, ever suicidal (Jessie enjoys life to much). She swears to Zod that she has two personalities, but psychologists say otherwise, and attribute her make-believe schizophrenia to plain old paranoia... ah, well. Jessie is a jack of all trades... of sorts. She writes both comedy and angst, and, according to third-party input, writes both fairly well. She is a lover/writer of both slash and het, but seems to write more slashy things as of late. She never sticks to just one fandom (With the exception of Harry Potter, because there's so much to work with) Jessie, thanks to Stephen King's Dark Tower saga, has an obsession with the number 19. Favorites: Some Favorite Movies: Interview with the Vampire, Fight Club, Silence of the Lambs, Garden State, Platoon, Chicago, Life is Beautiful, Red Eye, Young Frankenstein, Labyrinth, Identity, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Patriot, Elephant Man, The Cider House Rules, Talk Radio, V For Vendetta, Hard Candy Favorite TV Shows: Scrubs, Heroes, Twin Peaks, Rescue Me, House, Lost, Bones, Star Trek, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, Dead Like Me, Titus, Monty Python, Wonderfalls, Golden Girls, X-Files, The Nanny, I Love the 70's/80's/90's Favorite Cartoons: Witch Hunter Robin, South Park, Invader Zim, The Simpsons, Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy Favorite Singers/Bands/Composers: Led Zeppelin, Simon and Garfunkel, Lemon Demon, Mozart, Bach, David Bowie, Pink Floyd, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Bob Dylan, Frank Sinatra, Bobby Darin, Louis Armstrong, Carl Orff, Iron and Wine, Frou Frou, Von Bondies, Queen, Evanescence, Angelo Badalamenti, Hikaru Utada, Gackt, Taylor Hicks, etc. Favorite Authors: John Irving, Alan Moore, J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, Jeffery Deaver, Thomas Harris, Neil Gaiman, Anthony Burgess, Gaston Leroux, Jasper Fforde, Tennessee Williams, Shakespeare, Megan McCafferty, Douglas Adams, Edgar Allan Poe, Chuck Paulahniuk, Anne Brashares, George Orwell, Mary Stuart, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jane Austen, Chris Bojahlian... Fandom Info ~~~~All-Time Favorite Pairings!1!~~~~ Snape/Lily, Snape/Lucius, Lucius/Narcissa, Dumbledore/Grindelwald (HP)... Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts 2)... J.D./Dr. Cox, J.D./Janitor (Scrubs)... Jimmy/Gary, Gary/Petey (Bully) Crowley/Aziraphale (Good Omens)... Kenny/anyone (South Park) Darcy/Lizzie (P&P)...Amon/Robin, Michael/Robin (Witch Hunter Robin)... Jack/Norrington, Jack/Elizabeth (PotC)... Smecker/Greenly (Boondock Saints)... Ennis/Jack (BBM)... Lecter/Clarice (SotL, etc.)... Mercutio/everyone (Shakespeare)... Jack/Ralph (Lord of the Flies)... Nny/Devi, Nny/Edgar (JtHM)... House/Wilson, House/Cuddy (House, M.D)... Kate/Sawyer, Sawyer/Sayid (Lost)... Booth/Tempe (Bones)... Kirk/Spock (Star Trek)... Spike/Buffy (Buffy)... Erik/Christine (PotO)... Mulder/Scully (X-Files)... Tumnus/Lucy (C.S. Lewis)... Other Parings I Enjoy: Harry Potter: Ron/Hermione, Harry/Draco, Harry/Ginny, Snape/Hermione, etc. Lord of the Rings: Faramir/Eowyn, Aragorn/Eowyn, Legolas/Gimli Bully: Jimmy/Petey, Jimmy/Gord Darren Shan Saga: Crepsley/Darren, Crepsley/Arra F. Scott Fitzgerald: Gatsby/Daisy, Gatsby/Nick Stephen King: Roland/Cuthbert, Eddie/Susannah, Flagg/anyone Hitchhiker’s Guide: Arthur/Fenchurch, Marvin/Zaphod Outsiders: Ponyboy/Johnny, Dally/Johnny Peter Pan: Peter/Wendy/Hook In the Forests of the Night: Aubrey/Jessica Bridget Jones: Bridget/Mark, Mark/Daniel Batman Begins: Crane/Darcy Crandell (OC by Blodeuedd), Crane/Rachel RENT: Angel/Collins, Roger/Mimi, Mark/Anyone alive with a sex drive Constantine John/Chas, John/Angela Bones: Hodgins/Angela Lost: Sayid/Nadia, Charlie/Claire, Locke/Boone Twin Peaks: Cooper/Audrey, Cooper/Truman Buffy: Spike/Angel, Willow/Oz, Willow/Tara Will and Grace: Will/Jack Final Fantasy IX: Zidane/Dagger, Zidane/Kuja Final Fantasy X/X-2: Auron/anyone, Paine/anyone, Gippal/Nooj/Baralai, Tidus/Yuna, Seymour/Yuna Kingdom Hearts: Sora/Kairi, Sora/Riku, Ansem/Riku Xenosaga: chaos/anyone, Albedo/Jr./Gaignun, Allen/Shion, Jr./MOMO Invader Zim: Zim/Dib, Red/Purple Hey Arnold Arnold/Helga Simpsons: Smithers/Burns, Sideshow Bob/Bart, Homer/Marge Note: While I may not have read from some (well, most) of these categories, let alone have them on my favorites list, just know that I support every fandom and pairing listed above. WTF!Notes! On My Parodies: I write movie parodies not for laughs (albeit they are a nice bonus), but because I love them... My lowly fics are but a tribute, an appreciation, if you will. When a person writes a parody in hate, 9 times out of 10 the result is not not funny... really just a caustic, non-witty, steaming turd. Rest assured, readers... I will never, never write a parody on a movie I do not like. Ever. On Miscellaneous Things: There is not nearly enough Scrubs fic... get a crackin’ Scrubbies… and I love that Boondock Saints gets its own category, It’s one of my fave movies. But the section is too filled with OC’s and brother-centric fics. Where is the Paul Smecker love? | |||||||||||
1. The Harry Potter 'Ships Log » reviewsA bunch of shorts poking fun at every HP slash and het relationship known to mankind... and perhaps some not known. Ch. 8 Oh Rinny? Yeah Rinny! No Wai! R&R, plzkthxHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,295 - Reviews: 80 - Updated: 8-11-08 - Published: 8-4-052. An Easy Decision reviewsSeverus had come unannounced, with the frantic, terrifying news that the Dark Lord had it in for Lily and her family. But he had also come with a proposition. What if? Oneshot. Implied SSLE. Read and review, please.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 404 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-19-07 - Severus S. & Lily Evans P. - Complete3. Ron and Ginny Get it On! reviewsExactly what the title says. Crack!fic. Ginny is a slut on the prowl, and Ron has a case of the raging hormones... what will happen when the family finds out? Hilarity, of course! R&R, please.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,062 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 7-17-07 - Ron W. & Ginny W. - Complete4. Hindsight reviewsPostmovie. Ennis writes Jack a letter, but why? Read and review, please.Brokeback Mountain - Rated: K+ - English - General/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 251 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 8-1-06 - Complete5. Rest for the Wicked reviewsSmecker sleeps while Greenly looks on. Oneshot, slash. Coarse language.Boondock Saints - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 671 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 7-24-06 - Complete6. Dierey of Huk Fin » reviewsWhat if Huck kept a journal during his adventures with Jim and company? What would it say... and how bad would the spelling and grammar be? Reviews are appreciated.Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,993 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 7-21-06 - Published: 9-13-057. The Not so Secret Window » reviewsSecret Window insanity romp that takes the movie and runs with it... lots of funny randomness, innuendo, and sarcasm... Read and Review please! Chapter the 13th: Mort's Road Trip of DOOMSecret Window - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 12,261 - Reviews: 167 - Updated: 7-19-06 - Published: 6-30-048. Men Shaped Creatures reviewsSo... what exactly is the difference between a pansy and a poofter? AziraphaleCrowley mildly slashy humor!fluff. Complete with footnotes. Oneshot. Read and review, please.Good Omens - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 671 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 3-16-06 - Complete9. Satire of the Lambs » reviewsWhen a poodleloving nutjob goes on a hide harvesting rampage, Clarice Starling gets some help from everyone's favorite cannibal... no, not Jeffery Dahmer... A parody. Ch. 3: Clarice Gets Ahead in Life R&R pleaseSilence of the Lambs/Hannibal - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,404 - Reviews: 45 - Updated: 2-13-06 - Published: 6-5-0510. Holiday Letter, Death Eater Style reviewsMerry Voldemortmas! What if those crazy guys you love to hate sent out the kind of letter you hate to get? 'Tis the season, indeed. Read and Review, please.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,140 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 12-21-05 - Voldemort - Complete11. And With His Dying Breath reviews[Macbeth] A dying speech for Banquo, who never really got his chance to shine. Read and Review, pleaseShakespeare - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 408 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 11-6-05 - Complete12. Simplicity reviewsNarcissa reflects on the laciviousness of one Lucius Malfoy. A serious story, my first in a long time. Please review.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 923 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 9-1-05 - Lucius M. & Narcissa M. - Complete13. Kinky, Dinky, and Dock reviewsA thankless job, an overbearing wife... ah, the domestic woes of Dobby the house elf... The title will make sense when you read it Reviews are appreciated!Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 762 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 8-16-0514. Happiness Comes in Tupperware Containers reviewsIt's summer vacation, during the Marauder years. When a hyperactive, geographically confused Lucius arrives at your door to initiate some holiday festivities... what's a Snape to do? Slightly fluffy oneshot. R&R please.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 680 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 7-7-05 - Severus S. & Lucius M. - Complete15. The Pathetic Exploits of Teen Snape » reviewsA collection of humorous one-shots and vignettes starring your favorite Potions Master and his fruity friend Lucius in their Hogwarts years. R&R, please. Chapter 2: Snape becomes a man... or something...Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,676 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 2-9-05 - Published: 1-27-05 - Severus S. & Lucius M.16. Holding Palaver reviewsA freeform poem on what Roland the Gunslinger might find in the uppermost room of the Dark Tower. SPOILERS! R&R please!Dark Tower series - Rated: T - English - General/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 904 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 6-23-04 - Complete