Greetings my lovelies- I do hope I find you in good health this fine day :)

Okay, here is an update on a spanking new page of me- mainly so I can feel egotistic but also so I can ignore the fact that my mother (in a stroke of pure insanity) has forbidden me to go outside inwhat will possibly be the only sunny week of this summer. Three guesses as to where I live...!

Name: Well, to be perfectly frank, that'd be a little foolish now wouldn't it? But I might tell you about my screen name. Floro13- a little obscure really, expecially seeings as Floros 1-12 seem to have gone on holiday and forgotten to sign up to ff.net. However, there is method in the madness... Flo: is the schizophrenic crazy fish in Finding Nemo. For some inexplicable reason, my dearest friends are of the opinion that I am exactly like her. Charming children... Ro: short for rose, don't know why I shortened it, but I did, so there. They are my favourite ever flower. 13: is my lucky number. Yes, lucky! Born on a Friday the 13th, i have been a walking talking disaster ever since, and thus I have decided to defy convention and love this number for ever and eternity :)

Age: 19

Location: Sunny old England. Sorry, do I sound sarcastic? Weird...

Stories authored:

1. Twinned up, clued out.

" Fred and George did not, however, let the bad weather dampen their spirits. They planned to use the weather to their advantage. If everyone was inside, they were free subjects for trials. They had a couple of products still on the production line that needed testing for things like durability, safety, toxicity, etc. This particular morning they were testing-
'AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGH! FRED! GEORGE! GET DOWN HERE IMMEDIATELY’ "

My baby! First ever, and reading over it again, I think it shows a bit. It's a Hermione/Twins fic, lord only knows why. Possibly the most implausible pairing since Hagrid/Dobby, but there you go. Tis a lovely wee bit of fluff, if you like to read fluff. If not go read some Snape/Filch fics. Believe me, I'll have you coming back screaming in no time!

2. Lily.

" A/N It is a truth universally acknowledged that a writer, in possession of more free time than she anticipated, must be in want of a storyline. Okay, I am a self-confessed Jane Austen fan- I just love her books to pieces! And she always creates really yummy heroes (sigh Mr Darcy…). So as a tribute to this great authouress, I have taken it upon myself to write this fic- the story of Emma altered to a James/Lily story "

This is another piece of fluff for you guys- still working on it, but pretty happy so far. May take a while to finish, but it'll be a lovely happy storyfor a rainy day methinks.

3. There will come a day

NOT FLUFFY. Well, not much anyway. Simply an account of the night James and Lily died.

4. Gilding the Lily

" ‘Where were you! You left me here, alone again! I hate you all, you’re so mean to me! You are going to tell me where you were, NOW!’

Sirius rolled over, burying his head under his pillow. ‘Squeaky voice… too early… ow…’

‘Oh you wimp!’ said Lily, jumping on his bed. ‘Come on, get up!’

‘Prongs, your girlfriend’s sitting on me,’ muttered Sirius.

‘I am NOT his girlfriend!’ yelled Lily, pounding the pillow under which Sirius’ head was seeking refuge.

‘But would you like to be?’ asked James.

This is my big fic at the moment, and I'm just trying to work on getting it as good as possible (reviews are of course a welcome addition to any author's arsenal :D). Some fluff, some angst on its way, lots of Sirius (because he's fit and I'm shallow).

As you may have guessed, I am a true HP fan at heart (all bow down and grovel at the feet of the imcomparable Ms J. K. Rowling!) although I do have a wee bit of a soft spot for POTC and LOTR (woah, these people really need to start thinking of shorter titles so we can write them down all proper-like!), especially Mr Johnny Depp (swoon)... So I do read a bit of them too. However, HP is no.1 and we all know it.

Favourite Ships

James/Lily: Because we know it happened! Duh... Perhaps the best I ever read was one by Sarinileni, it was very dark but it was long and she wrote fantastically. However, some git-face decided to report some kind of abuse and got it deleted twice (she had over 5000 reviews at one point). So stopped writing. I would just like to say that if that git-faced person is anywhere out there,I have a large caudron of boiling tar and some manticores handy for your demise :) However, my new favourite is 'Not exactly Valentines' by Professor Spork. Definitely one to read- not finished yet but so so good, and the way its laid out is really original. Recommended on the highest level.

Harry/Ginny: although I have severe difficulty writing Ginny- I tried once or twice and it was a big mess! Anyone else have the same problem and/or some advice to cure this problem!

Tonks./Lupin: Soooooooooooo cute! Read 'stuck on you' by The Potter Identity, I promise you, you will be rolling around on the floor crying with laughter.

Draco Malfoy/any girl really: not that I'm a homophobe, but it just doesn't work somehow. Plus Tom Felton used to be sooo fit (note: USED to be... before he got all manky and teenagery) I quite wanted him for myself!

Blaise/Hermione: Mainly because I respect those people clever enough to work out (pre HBP) that Blaise is A BOYS NAME! (steady calming breath). Thank you.

Cedric/Hermione: Because it's hot, and you know it :)

Sirius/Hermione or Sirius/floro13: SIRIUS IS FIT! Unfortunately noone has had the brain-wave to make a story of the latter :( Woe is me...

Ships I dislike

Ron/Hermione: Yes, yes, we all know it's going to happen eventually in HP Mark VII (which aint coming out fast enough if you ask me).Kill me if you like, but Ron is such a moody wanker! Besides, I have yet to find a really really good one. However, I am open to reading any suggestions anyone has (even if it's your own!)

Snape/Anyone: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww, greasy slime-ball of a disgustingness. Yuk!

Filch/Umbridge: Wrong on so many levels. Although the actual fics themselves are highly amusing if you're in that kinda of sado-masochistic mood...

Ships I HATE (note the capitals pleeeease!)

Dumbledore/anyone: come on, Dumbledore? That sweet, kind, ever so slighty eccentric old man who has become like a grandfather to us over the past decade. EEEW. It just spoils the whole image really :s

Draco/Harry: Purlease. Anyone but anyone who thinks that Draco actually really fancies Harry deep down (or vice versa) and the hatred is just a farce, needs their head examined. Thoroughly.

Hagrid/Dobby: Do I even NEED to explain myself? Honestly...

Some of my favourite disclaimers:

"If I owned this then I could sue J. K. Rowling for plagiarism..."

"I don’t own anything, I am not JK Rowlings or Batman. Occasionally my wife does seem to think I’m super man, but that’s not the sort of thing we discuss in public!"

"Yeah I'm Ms. Rowling. I own this series. I'm just writing this fanfiction because my editors wouldn't let me have a Cedric/Hermione pairing even though it was my heart's desire... OK now that I have exited the fantasy dream land and taken my anti-delusional pills I own nothing. Curse you pills!"

"I feel sorry for whomever tries to put Sirius in a cage. Not that you’d need to, if you owned him, but you know…. Just saying."

"Once upon a time there was a girl who wished she was Rowling, but wasn't. The end."

"If I can’t have all of Harry Potter, can I just have Sirius? Please?"

"-sobs-"

"Okay, here's the plan...If I bankrupt Warner bros then I can claim all rights on Harry Potter. However, this course of action will take several months to be effective and in the mean time I need 4km of steel girder, a monster truck and 3 swiss bank accounts. Suffice to say that until this plan works, I don’t own anything to do with Harry Potter. Weep for me."

And so my lovely lovelies (you also ought to know that I have a serious problem with not using this word, it has stuck. And, despite the fact that I have been given some lovely alternatives-there I go again- I just can't kick the habit!), here I shall leave you to go and explore the rest of my little world or not, as the case may be.

Signing off-

R xxx