Name: Cat

Age: Pick a number between 10 and 30

Location: East coast, USA, somewhere between Mane and Long Island Sound

Gender: I'll give you 3 guesses and the first 2 don't count

10 Ways The Bible Would Be Different If Written By College Students

By: Rosalily

10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.

9. The Ten Commandments are actually only five...double-spaced and written in a large font.

8. New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.

7. Forbidden fruit would've been eaten not because it was forbidden, but because it wasn't cafeteria food.

6. Paul's letter to the Romans becomes: Paul's e-mail to abuse@romans.gov.

5. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.

4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.

3. Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.

2. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: The didn't want to ask directions and look like Freshmen.

1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it's due and then pulled an all-nighter.

The ABC's according to Google Search: 03/20/13

A is for Amazon

B is for BBC

C is for Currys

D is for Debenhams

E is for Ebay

F is for Facebook

G is for Google

H is for Hotmail

I is for Ikea

J is for John Lewis

K is for KFC

L is for Lloyds

M is for Maps

N is for Next

O is for O2

P is for PayPal

Q is for Quidco

R is for RightMove

S is for Sky

T is for Tesco

U is for Ucas

V is for Virgin

W is for Weather

X is for Xbox

Y is for Youtube

Z is for Zoopla

Quotes and sayings

"But if I'd gone, then all of you would insist on coming, and sending you with either of them is just as bad. None of you can behave yourself when you're together. It's like running a fraternity house on the move."--Unusual Circumstances By: sunnycalendargirl

"Oh aspirin, who art in stomach, acetylsalicylic acid be thy name. Thy headache pounds, when will you get around, to making it go away?"--Murv Sellers

"Because there are enough scary things to talking here without having to argue with myself."--A Bolt Out Of The Blue By: Ryuuza Kochou

"Oh coffee, who art in cup, Java be thy name. Thy espresso shot, rich and hot, just keep the refills a comin'."--Murv Sellers

"Christianity : The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense."--Christopher Hitchens

“I am Harry Potter. If anyone asks me if I’m sure that I am, thus implying that I don’t have the capabilities of any self-respecting one-year-old, I will hex them. You have been warned.”--Oh God Not Again! By: Sarah1281

“I’m sorry, you have dialed an unlisted number. Please hang up and go jump off a cliff. Thank you.”--Taking Care of Myself By: Sara Ane

"Now, time for today’s learning. Anthony and I are going to teach you all how to hunt, kill, and cook a chicken using only the Unforgivables. Anthony, you get to be the chicken.”--The DA Missions: Agent Furry Fury By: Nonjon

“Greetings Girlyboy-san, I’m going to tell you right now I don’t swing that way.”--But he's just a ramen chef! By: Viperflamer

"But, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer...and then I decided to drop off my keys and get a cab home."--My cousin's X-mas card

“Ah, you work fast,” Kannon-sama said. She daintily sipped her tea. She raised her eyebrows at Sephiroth’s tight leather pants and thigh-high leather boots. “I like your boots.”

Sephiroth shrugged, his black cotton t-shirt stretching with the movement. “I like black.” Then, to contradict his statement, he slipped on a brown, old style Shinra pilot’s jacket. “And I really like this brown jacket,” he said smugly.

“Smartass,” Cloud muttered."--The Delivery Boy's Errand By: Diaphanous

"And the blond, sap that he was, couldn’t say no to the mental image that popped up of little Sephiroth with his chin-length, silver hair and wide, green eyes dressed in the blue flannel pajamas with dancing yellow ducks."--The Time Traveling Delivery Boy By: Diaphanous

“I said shut up,” Harry snapped, and massaged his temples. “Okay. So. This Voldemort guy waltzes into Chicago, decides it’s an easy target, goes about wreaking havoc. You’re apparently his archrival so you come to defeat him by an epic duel, ignoring any and all other possibilities. Am I right so far?”

“Yeah, but…”

“So,” Harry said, overriding him, “when my buddy Murphy got the bazooka and killed him dead with minimal damage, did that or did it not have an effect equal to an enormous heroic self-sacrifice that killed untold numbers of innocents?”--Practicality By: Rosethorn

“Oh, you two are horrible! Where’s the higher authority when you need it?” Harry exclaimed as the entrance opened again, this time to admit Albus.

“Speak of the chicken.”--Abandon By: Batsutousai

"Dear Order,

Am hoping that you’re all in good health, and that Professor Snape delivered my message to the Headmaster.

I’ve been thinking. Would anyone mind terribly if I joined Voldemort? I get the feeling that he doesn’t randomly leave people stuck in a house with the Dursleys for the entire summer with no contact with sentient human beings.

I’m sure he and I can work through our issues, and his little killing people thing.

Love Harry."--Dear Order By: SilverWolf7007

The Disclaimer

Disclaimer:I own nothing. I have made no profit from this, and no (fur-bearing) animals were harmed during the creation of this document. Allergy alert: may contain nutmeg, but I doubt it. Return for refund where applicable. Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets. Batteries are included -- best of luck finding them. Proud sponsor of the 1934 penguin Olympic games at McMurdo Sound, Antarctica. May cause irritability, sleeplessness or warts after prolonged use. Contents under pressure. BHT added to preserve freshness. Caution: this product has caused some laboratory rats to rip through their cages, fly across the room and brutally murder hundreds of innocent people. Shake well before using. No vacuum tubes or other user-serviceable parts inside. Not to be combined with other radio-isotopes except under the advice of a physician. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. Not intended for use by children or conservatives under the age of five.

STORY STUFF: 03/20/13

Maybe It's Called Ambition: So...I don't think I'll be going back to it anytime soon...

The Lives and Times: As of now, it's on permanent hiatus. Don't ask me to update it, I'm not planning to in any foreseeable future.

Death and Roses: As of now, it's on permanent hiatus. Don't ask me to update it, I'm not planning to in any foreseeable future.