Previously Brand-New-Red-Head (but then I dyed my hair, so I'm not a readhead anymore, see?)
Also previously just-another-random 2991
Hello to all you lovely readers, reviewers, flamers and people who have nothing better to do with their time than read random bios!
You can now find me on Fictionpress too! Mostly poems on there, which is ironic since I'm an author, not a poet. But I'm writing a story about Ashley (Kicking and Screaming) on there, so read it and let me know what you think!
http://www.fictionpress.com/u/563306/
About Me
Name: Susie. I have a last name, but you're not getting to know it! My real name's Susan, but only six people are allowed to call me that.
Age: 16. Have been since January, and will be until next January.
Hair: It was light brown, then I dyed it bright red, but then it went ginger so I dyed it dark brown and cut it into a style similar to that of a 90s anime character. The life of my hair. Nice.
Eyes: Two.
Nationality: Scottish, and proud! I'm also prous to be British, but not so much European for political and economic reasons that most normal 16-year-olds don't give a shit about. But then, I'll always be a bit weird.
Awesome books: Where do I start? I read so much! Ok, Artemis Fowl (the best books for kids ever!), Inkheart, Inkspell, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Rachel's Holiday, Holes, Harry Potter (highly overrated though), Junk, K-Pax, all of the Discworld books...
Awesome authors: Eoin Colfer, Cornelia Funke, Anthony Horrowitz, Terry Pratchett, Ken Kesey, Madsen Pirie...
Awesome films: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (awesome!!), Lucky Number Slevin (best film ever!), Moulin Rouge, Pirates of the Caribbean, Holes, Oceans Eleven, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, Mean Girls, Breakfast Club...
Awesome TV programmes: Supernatural, House, Scrubs, Smallville, Prison Break, Mock the Week, The OC, Robin Hood...
Awesome words: I have possibly the most random vocabulary of all 16-year-olds. My most used words are: Awesome (you might have picked up on that), Excellent, What??, Fuck that, Yay!, Wunderbar, Crap, Lovely, Uber, Bugger, S'up?, Homie, Ooooh, Ridiculous, Feck, Generally... its really just a mix of swear words, 50s-90s slang and old-fashioned words.
Less than Awesome things: High School Musical (oh, the overratedness!), Take That, onions, flamers, Mary-Sues, sleet (it's too cold for rain, too crap for snow... make up your mind, sleet!), dance music, cheesy pop...
Labels: Most people hate being labelled, but I don't really mind. I suppose my label would be Hippy, because I wear a lot of weird clothes and I'm obsessed with the environment. I've also been called an emo (though I'm not), a bitch and a geek. Take your pick:P
If you want to know some deep personal arty-writer stuff about me and my feelings, you'll have to read another bio (though why someone else would be writing about my feelings on their bio, I don't know). I've got nothing against deep personal arty-writer stuff, I'm just not big on my feelings. I'm dead inside.
Quotes
~ If you're going to criticise someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
~ Last night, I was lying on my bed, staring up at the starts and wondering 'Where the hell is my roof?'
~I want to do that thing when you put a map of the world on your wall and put pins in all the places you've been to. But first, I'll have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it doesn't fall down.
~Ten percent of people in Britain believe that their food has a party when they shut the fridge door.
~You hate your job? Well why didn't you just say that? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYONE and they meet in the pub.
~No, this isn't my real name. I'm breaking it in for a friend.
~(Famous last words) You can get ANYWHERE in five minutes if you go fast enough!
~Is a hippopotomous a hippopotomous or a really cool opotomous?
~I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I said "Dude, you have to wait"
Fics I Read/Write
Holes (No new girl fics. They are the devil!)
Artemis Fowl (Not a fan of ones when he meets another criminal genius, especially if they're female)
Supernatural (Mmmm, love angsty/funny brothery fics!)
Robin Hood (BBC version - fecking hell, thats one good looking cast!)
Inkheart
Scrubs
MASH
Harry Potter (sometimes, especially Fred and George stuff or Marauders stuff)
Fics I Don't Read/Write
I'm out of my non-slash phase! ROLL ON THE SLASH!
Incest is wrong, slash or not! It's ALWAYS wrong! Fred/George Twincest, Sam/Dean Wincest, I don't care, it's all BAD!
Mary Sue fics (that includes Holes new girl fics). I HATE Mary Sues. I think we all do. You may enjoy writing them, but most people don't enjoy reading them.
Here are some links to Mary-Sue sites. Love them.
http://firefox.org/news/articles/6/1/Mary-Sue-Who-Are-You/Page1.html - this essay is fecking hilarious!
http://missy.reimer.com/library/marysue.html - test to see if your character is a Mary Sue. It's fun, and it helps a LOT
http://www.fortunecity.com/rivendell/dark/1000/marysue.htm - and finally... the ORIGINAL Mary Sue Parody, A Trekkie's Tale. Read and laugh.
Read and enjoy. I'm thinking of starting up a Sue-bashing association, for people who enjoy Sue-bashing, and write some pretty damn good Sue-bashing fics. Send me a message and let me know if you're interested.
About Constructive Criticism
I like it, as long as it's actually CONSTRUCTIVE. I get why a lot of people don't like it, but I actually enjoy getting it. Yeah I'm weird. But, hey, it improves my writing.
I don't, however, like people who write a whole LIST of thigs that're wrong, and they start getting really picky, like "you spelled a word wrong" and stuff.
Flames smell too. They're spiteful and spirit-crushing and just plain stupid. Yeah, I don't like everything I read, but if I don't like it, I don't review it. I don't try and break their spirit by telling them their writing's crap. They'll get better. That's why they're posting. So we can help them get better. That's why I'm posting anyway. Flame me and I'll delete it or report you, and I encourage others to do the same.
Ships I Like
Holes: Warden/Mr Sir can be cute, Zigzag/Squid if it's well done, no Mary Sues!
Artemis Fowl: Arty/Holly (love it!), Foaly/Holly sometimes, Trouble/Juliet can be good, Chix/Lily Frond, Chix/Juliet, I read a good Butler/Madame Ko one once
Supernatural: Jessica/Dean's pretty cool, Sam/Meg (not while he knows she's posessed!)
Inkheart: Dustfinger/Resa, Meggie/Farid, Dustfinger/Basta (once again, if it's well written)
Scrubs: Elliot/JD (it's how it should be!), Carla/Dr Cox, Jordan/Janitor (what? they would go well tegether!)
MASH: Hawkeye/Margaret, Trapper/Margaret
Harry Potter: Hermione/Draco (ooh, I love UST), Snape/McGonagall, Ron/Hermione, Snape/Lily, James/Lily/Sirius, Harry/Draco if it's well written, Sirius/Tonks, Bellatrix/Voldemort (it can work)
Ships I Hate
Holes: Anyone/OC, Stanley/Warden (eeew!)
Artemis Fowl: Holly/Root (it's just WRONG!), Arty/Butler (even more wrong!), Juliet/Arty (she's too dumb for him), Arty/Miranda, Arty/OC
Supernatural: Dean/Sam (do you get more disturbing than that? incest is wrong!), Jessica/Sam
Inkheart: Meggie/Basta (he's too old!), Meggie/Dustfinger (once again, too old), Mo/Dustfinger, Resa/Capricorn, Magpie/Basta
Scrubs: JD/Janitor (wrong, wrong, worng!), JD/Jordan, Turk/Dr Cox, Turk/JD (sorry, but I don't see it), Todd/Turk, Elliot/Turk
MASH: Hawkeye/Trapper, Hawkeye/BJ, Margaret/Charles
Harry Potter: Harry/Ginny (don't like either of them, they don't deserve love!), Hermione/Snape (wrong, so wrong), Fred/George (twincest is bad, I tell you!), Dumbledore/Harry
My Fics
Kicking and Screaming - Holes fic - My first fic for two years. The D-tent boys are pissed off when they hear a new girl called Ashley Warren is coming to CGL, so they're pretty relieved when Ashley turns out to be a guy. However, Ashley turns out to be a complete thug. He's been done for joyriding, kidnapping, GBH, breaking and entering, arson... but they couldn't pin him down on more than one charge (like Al Capone). So if he's such a heartless thug, why are there tears on his pillow at night? Rates for swearing and violence. COMPLETE
10 Things I Hate About You - Artemis Fowl Poem - A little five-minute poem written from Holly's POV, based on the poem from 10 Things I Hate About You. Arty/Holly shipping. A bit cheesy, but that's why I love it! COMPLETE (one shot anyway, so it would be complete)
It's All Coming Out - Holes fic - Slightly lighter than my last Holes one. The D-tent boys are in the rec room, when a minor earthquake causes the door to slam and become blocked. Mr Sir (reluctantly) sends for help, but it turns out that help won't arrive for a few days. Stuck in the rec room with only each other for company, they start to talk and, one by one, the secrets start pouring out. Some funny, some angsty. COMPLETE (at last!)
Checkmate - Harry Potter fic - An angsty Ron oneshot. Set during the chess bit in Philosopher's Stone, Ron is musing over whether he wants to sacrafice himself. Major inferiority complex, and shows a hidden jealousy of Harry. Crap, but it only took ten minutes, so what do you expect? COMPLETE (another one-shot)
An Accident Waiting To Happen - Harry Potter fic - Fred and George are messing around with a time charm. Testing it out, they attempt to move back thirty minutes. Surprise, surprise, they botch it up and find themselves thirty years back, Hogwarts1966. They meet the Marauders, who agree to help them, in return for help in a raging prank war against the Slytherins. Major writer's block right now, might be a while. Chapter 4's in progress, I promise. IN PROGRESS
Pasteurs New - Robin Hood (BBC) fic - AU fic. "Back to the cave, or pasteurs new?" What would have happened if Will and Allan had run away at the end of Series one? Just a little story about all they got up to. COMING SOON
That's all for now. Please read my fics and review. But, as I nag at the beginning and/or end of almost all my chapters, keep the criticism CONSTRUCTIVE!
Peace out
C-M
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