I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT 'NUMAIR: THE EARLY YEARS' NOW ISN'T COMING OUT UNTIL 2011!!!!!!it's not faaaaaaaair.
How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they
want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual
favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Dont use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. (If you can at your age)
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of
jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock
Hard Kim.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won, I won!
It's the 3rd time this week!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling,
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner. "due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."
20. Wait until your grandmother picks up the phone. Then yell your loudest jungle call.
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