2/24/08 Since it's painfully obvious that the TOS and name of this website is not enough, I'm lobbying FFN (support@fanfiction.net) to put the link to FictionPress in the Home Page, Misc, and upon loading a chapter. If you feel the same, use the link to let them know how irritating these original works are and that notices are needed for those who didn't bother to put brain in gear when they joined up in the first place.
Just to clarify:
TV show crossed with another tv show? TV Xovers
Movie crossed with another movie? Movie Xovers
TV show crossed with movie? Xovers
Movie not listed in Movie listing? Movie Misc.
TV show crossed with original world? TV show category (or if TV show not specified in FFN's TV listing: TV Misc.)
Original world of your devising with nothing owned by someone else? Not allowed at Fan Fiction dot Net. Do not upload. Take it to Fiction Press dot Net. Similarly, do not upload fan fiction of any kind at Fiction Press dot Net.
Simple, no? So why are so many of you ignoring this as if you owned the site and paid Xing's bills!
Personal gripe/observation: It's a sad thing thing when a once great fandom (TBAA) becomes the province of 'shippers' who will not let the little thing of angels not having sexual drives get in the way of mauling characters. I'm not talking about taking on a role for a short period like in the show--I'm talking flirting and marriage and things alien to an non-sexual creature that has nothing to do with saving souls. Really, some of the summaries read like they were written by 8-year old girls who own a pink, fuzzy dairy titled in gold glitter. Kyer can but gag.
Another gripe: why can't I get this thing to not type in bold or large print since Christmas? It was fine before then.
12/31 muse: Just got a review response that tied into the below. It left me flabbergasted. Then it made me laugh at the sheer absurdity of it. I wondered just when being 'new' gave a member a free pass to ignore the rules. I checked the TOS. Nope, no free pass for newbies to ignore rules at will. Everyone is held responsible for following the rules be they new, old, just learning the language, amateur, professional, or Queen Victoria reborn.
Apparently there are little queens and kings out there who think that Life (and website owners, and fellow members) owe them a break because they couldn't spare the minutes to read the TOS before rushing their baby to print. Well, I'm sorry, but you can't blame me because you embarrassed yourself in public. BECAUSE you are NEW is all the more reason to know the rules as they should be even MORE fresh in your memory than with us old timers. Yes-- indeedy--despite what your doting family or your liberal-egotism spouting teacher told you, your toilet deposits are not made of gold nuggets and designer perfume. Your every word is not sacred script. In Real Life nobody is going to award you a participation certificate of merit despite the fact you rode your bicycle in what was supposed to be a running marathon. The mere fact that you became a member and posted your non-fanfiction story here does not entitle you to getting your story reviewed by me or anyone else. Be thankful if nobody hits the handy-dandy Report Abuse button before FFN notices your boo-boo and swats your hiney.
No, I won't post the names of the idiots I run across. Not only would that be truly unduly nasty, but I don't want to crash the site from the sheer kilobyte usage. I cut slack for law-abiding authors who freely admit they have dyslexia or similar, are new to the language they are posting in, or their computer does not allow for good editing software (like my wonderful dinosaur). If you have not noted such in your profile then my degrees of nicety are subject to how much gunk I've had to wade through already here and elsewhere. (I'm sorry, but that is the way it is. I generally try to be tactful, but am human too and like the camel can only stand so much per load.)
Also note that I now routinely block any responder whose email was so ludicrously stupid that hearing from them a second time would only damage my remaining brain cells. Seriously. Just one word of advice to all: if you really, really, don't want me to respond back (per your imperious bleating), then you had better block me as well.
------------------ How can Life possibly be boring when there are so many morons on the loose? ---------------------
Note: If you break one of FFN's rules and I call it to your attention (hopefully before you and/or FFN get in legal hot water) don't go all exasperated that "geez, OTHERS are doing it too!". Since when was legality based on how well rules was kept in general? Just because some morons who can't read a TOS for lack of brain cells continue to mess up doesn't make it a minor transgression. Or should we let the thief who steals from YOUR house off with just a slap on the wrist based on the same reasoning? "Geez, OTHERS are stealing from this neighborhood too! What's the big deal?" Ugh.
PLEASE NOTE AS OF AT LEAST MID JUNE 2007 IF YOU RECEIVE AN ANONYMOUS REVIEW FROM 'KYER' THAT WAS NOT FROM ME. IF YOU READ A BIT BELOW, PLEASE KNOW THAT A LOW LIFE (WHO I AM THIS CLOSE TO REPORTING--YES, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE, I TOLD YOU I SAVE REVIEWS) IS SEEKING REVENGE BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THE IDIOT HAS NO LIFE.
Alas as with most things Real Life, it only takes one Bozo The Clown to ruin it for everyone else: after years of readers who had a lick of sense, there's at least one who doesn't and appears determined to prove it. I've taken down anonymous reviews.
6/8/2007 Dear, I wanted to do as you requested so I took out the trash. Had to make a substitute though, as it turned out it was your (lack of) review that was stinking up the place. I have been called many things in my long life, but have never been accused of not giving a logical reason as to why I didn't care for a fic. You should try that sometime--giving an actual reason after having actually read something. Unless, of course, you are just naturally a moron and it can't be helped. In which case I suppose you are to be pitied.
All reviews that make no sense to what it is supposedly reviewing will be deleted pretty much within 24 hours of their appearing.
4/28/2007 My complaints to the Crossover category offenders have proved fruitful! (One civil response and query which gained a civil answer from me, one comment that s/he wrote the story to get reviews and that that selfishness apparently justified thumbing a nose at Xing's rules, and one from someone I'm not sure I even sent a review to, but who asked that I not do reviews that consisted longer than the story. Past the mind-boggling novelty of someone who actually wanted a shorter review; I can only think that the mis-filed story was either a drabble and I was feeling particularly verbal, or that the responder was the idiot with the one word 'story'. (Yes, you read that right. Some moron actually posted a chapter that consisted of one word. Will the devolution of our species never cease it's downward spiral? I blame the chemicals in our food supply.)
To whom it may concern: If you thought my profile too large, why did you bother to read the whole thing? Was it that compelling? Maybe I should rethink my idea of NOT trying to become a professional writer. Why, I could become famous and get my name on The Book Review! Woo!
--End of updates--
WARNING! EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER INVITE ANYONE TO READ MY PROFILE SOME PEOPLE INSIST ON DOING SO. YOU WILL NOT FIND ANY UPDATES ON MY STORIES HERE. NO UPDATE INFO AT ALL. NADA. JUST PERSONAL OPINIONS AND RANTS. HISTORY HAS SHOWN THAT READERS WHO READ THE WHOLE THING TEND TO FALL INTO TWO CATEGORIES: THOSE WHO THINK I'M AN OPINIONATED BASTARD (Don't agree with me) AND THOSE WHO THINK THIS PROFILE IS HILARIOUS (Those who do agree with me.) Since I'm not psychic nor have any desire to erase my profile, I can't tell you in advance which one of those two you will fall in. Enter at your own risk!
(The above is based on unsolicited pm's and reviews received. If you don't fall into either... consider yourself unique.)
Contrary to what you might be thinking, I really don't go story surfing hoping and praying to flame someone. I'm actually a pretty easy going person who likes good, clean family fun and sometimes not-so-family fun. However, like everyone else I have my pet peeves. Unlike some, I tend to express them---but DO explain why I feel the way I do. If you get an unexplained flame by 'kyer', rest assured it wasn't from me. I'm opinionated; not one of the brainless jerks who seem to be multiplying in numbers at this site.
Learned a valuable lesson today: always check to make sure your reviews were actually and truly sent before accusing someone of erasing them. Unfortunately, had to add #9 to my list.
Observations (not gripes):
A: I keep reading stories that beg the reader to review. That's fine and good. You did a work and you want to know what we think. And you get dissapointed when your counter keeps clicking while so few actual reviews come in.
Well, here might be part of the picture:
The reviewer did not like or otherwise love your story for whatever reason. It may have to do with the plotline or the way it was told or grammatical errors, ect. It might even be for a reason so mundane as they've run out of internet time and forget to find that particular story next time they get on. So they don't review.
Of course there is another reason why some readers have simply given up reviewing---they get a 'Howler' pm if the writer took exception of the reader not loving their baby. This can happen even when the reviewer begged for comments good or bad. What's worse, they might use your own story review process to send this 'Howler' instead of using the FFN provided pm link.
So I would not be surprised if many a one-time faithful reviewer just gave up and quit reviewing all together.
B: Since the first day I discovered the wonderful (and free!) world of fanfic, I've been rather bemused by the common penchant of some to choose aliases that mirror canon names. For instance, calling yourself 'ThetaSigma', 'ObiwanKenobi', 'HPotter', 'Wolverine' ', and so forth. Maybe it's just me, but it seems rather disrespectful of authors to usurp any canon character's name. Isn't it enough we are playing with the various creators's characters without actually calling ourselves after them? If nothing else its a lack of imagination. I mean, even if only subconsciously, I'm thinking: gee, if they can't come up with their own name how well can they come up with an interesting plot? (To those who may be curious, my own moniker was created by me many years ago. In fact, the character was created long, long before I even knew fanfic existed. ) Oh well, at least I haven't run across anyone whose tried to take a real 'famous person' name like George Lucas. That would really be hubris unless you really WERE George Lucas...which would be astronomically unlikely. (Note: the moron harrasing me did this. Personally, I thought it kinda funny someone would go to the trouble to make a bunch of real-person fake accounts, but hey...stupidity and lack of creativity seems to be a growing trend of our species.)
Below are some of my personal opinions (read: peeves) on fanfics. NOTE! NOTE! NOTE! They are my PERSONAL opinions. DON'T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A WAD IF YOU DON'T AGREE. Just go write down your own thoughts on your own Profile. Remember that if you are writing just for fun, you shouldn't give a rat's ass what others think. If you are writing fanfic to gain experience to go professional---then get used to bad reviews and quit whining about them. Ignore or use the things as nature intended and learn from them. Lord knows the Real World will be no kinder if not a heap more biting. PEOPLE WHO IGNORE THE ABOVE EARN MY UTTER DISDAIN. I HAVE NO DESIRE TO CONVERSE WITH DUNDERHEADS WHO GO TO A FANFIC WEBSITE AND READ AN ENGLISH STORY/PROFILE YET CANNOT COMPREHEND SUCH A SIMPLE STATEMENT WRITTEN IN ENGLISH. LIKEWISE IF YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT CLEARLY MARKED SLASH, A SHIP, AN AU, OR SOME OTHER ASPECT OF SOMEONE'S STORY DESPITE THEIR WARNINGS---YOU ARE AN IDIOT. GO FIND DR. FRANKENSTEIN AND BEG FOR A WORKING BRAIN.
1. Posting in a story summary that your Comedy offering is hilarious. Really? You could have fooled me. In fact, often you did. Here's an idea: Let the reader decide by reading the thing whether it is funny or complete blather.
2. Posting in a Romance category summary that "that (fill in the blank) that we all know and love.." or "our favorite couple..." For goodness sake! If I had a dime for every story I ventured into a chapter or two only to find that it featured a ship I couldn't stand... How dare a writer assume that we all will love their ship! Especially when they don't have the guts to put it in the summary so that those who despise said ship can bypass it without wasting their internet time. Grrr. Some people I know have dial up connections!
3. Stories that feature non-canon characters who steal the limelight. People, if I wanted to fall in love with non-canon characters, I'd be over at FictionPress instead of here in FANfiction.net. Lordy... the name of the site should give a clue, don't you think?
3b. I just visited the MISC/Crossovers section and ran into this phrase four times (4 Freaking X's!) on just a quick perusal: "This is not really a crossover..." Every single stinking one was original fiction. Can you people not read, have no regard for the rules, or are just plain dumb asses? Learn to read, obey the rules, go away--whichever applies.
4. If you are going to mangle a character beyond all recognition, please have the courtesy to either categorize it Comedy or Parody or put 'OOC' or 'AU' in the summary. Reading a cherished character doing something totally OOC out of the blue can jar a reader right out of their suspension of disbelief.
5. Author Notes in the middle of the story. This may work in some comedy films, but is just plain annoying in a written tale. Please leave out the inside winks and smirks or info that would best be incorporated into the story weaving itself.
6. (My, how the list is growing...) Uploading a first part that is nothing more than an advertisement that you are going to be posting a story. Or that you are going to be unable to post for a few weeks and think this must be earth-shattering news that cannot be merely posted in your Profile. There is a reason that FFN calls a chapter upload a CHAPTER upload and not a PREVIEW or GuessWhat! upload. ("Oh look, an interesting summary! I think I'll go read the first chapter and see how well it is written. Oh. Crumbs. There's not story to read and review. Just a waste of my time and a puncturing of my sense of anticipation. What is the purpose of this? Can somebody tell me the purpose of this? Did the writer have a few minutes to kill so they decided to upload a repeat of their summary for kicks and giggles?If you don't have the story chapter ready to go---don't upload anything yet.
Which reminds me... 6b. Why bother repeating in the Summary info that is already available? Like Rating and Incomplete/Complete? (As the heckler has kindly noted, my own stories have this. That is because they were uploaded well BEFORE the website made the designations part of uploading.)
7. Drabbles. Alas, all they do is dribble dissatisfaction. In fact, they are even worse than #6's as my appetite might get wetted with no hope of finding out what happened. Unless, of course, someone else takes that drabble and runs with it. At least these are almost always stated in the summary as 'drabbles' so I can avoid them altogether.
8. (And here I admit being guilty myself) Abandoned Stories. Unfortunately (as I can attest) sometimes RL gets ghastly or a muse does just up and abandon ship on one. Drat the little buggers. If anyone has a remedy for this nuisance (other than winning the Lottery and being set for life) let me know.
9. Authors who do not take the trouble to READ the FFN posting rules. This is a two pointer. Not only is it annoying to find a story that is breaking the rules----it's REALLY annoying should that rule breaking result in a danged fine story being pulled by FFN. Please, please read the rules and respect the other members and readers. If you have trouble with spelling and grammar (kyer coughs because that's a shared problem) that's one thing. But blatantly writing something despite that it isn't allowed is just stupid. It shows you as either lazy or a jerk.
10: Anyone else had it with writers who think the Review Box should only be filled with gushing words of praise and that anything else is a flame? Maybe if they put in capital letters on the bottom line of each chapter that only those who adore their every typed word no matter how rife with misspellings or mistakes.
11: Guys, when the category says it's one of the 'crossovers' (book, movie, tv, ect) that does NOT mean you crossing out what fandoms the story is about. There's this thing called a summary within which you can (and should) put in what worlds the story is based in. Hopefully, fully articulated ones, too. I mean, most people might understand an LOTRHP right off the bat, but others might be left scratching their heads. Taking that example, sure it might be Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter, or it might be Lord of the Rings/some obscure movie called 'Here's Panama!'. If spelling it out is too long for the summary, announce that the crossover particulars are in the author's note at the beginning of the chapter. No reader should have to take more than a moment figuring out what is being crossed or result to Googling to find out. More likely they'll just skip over the story rather than bother.
11B: No, you are mistaken. Go back and look through the Movie offerings and you WILL find Miscellaneous Movies. It's been there for a long time. Now kindly move your non-crossover movie stories from Movie Crossovers. Ditto for TV shows not tv crossovers, and Comics, and Games, and--in fact, the only Category that doesn't sport a miscellaneous option is Miscellaneous. If you don't know what miscellaneous means I suggest a dictionary. (Maybe FFN needs to post these facts in kindergarten level language until people get it. Yes, I'm being snide. You'd be put out to if you kept running into these stories cluttering up a category in which they don't belong.)
(The following like the first disclaimer is in caps solely for the purpose of giving readers no excuse as to having missed it.)
NOW, DID ANY OF THE GRIPES I GAVE UPSET YOU? READY TO HEAD STORMING TO MY PM OR ONE OF MY STORIES SO AS TO WRITE A PRETENSE REVIEW THAT IS REALLY A RANT ABOUT MY SUPPOSED ANCESTORY? FIRST COUNT TO TEN. SECOND, RE-READ MY DISCLAIMER (the one you've apparently forgotten about). THIRD (IF NECESSARY) COUNT TO TEN AGAIN. NOW ASK YOURSELF IS IT WORTH MAKING AN ASS OF YOURSELF BEING AS I DID WARN YOU THAT THESE ARE MY PERSONAL GRIPES AND THAT NOBODY FORCED YOU TO CLICK ON MY PROFILE AND READ PAST THE OPENING PARAGRAPHS? Good. Now take a deep calming breath and hit your Back key or a bookmark and move on with life.
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