FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| KalliopeStarmist |
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Author has written 33 stories for Harry Potter, Legend of Zelda, Weiss Kreuz, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Naruto. NEWS OF A VERY PERTINENT NATURE: Right, so I set up a new livejournal account for fic that I write but don't post here (some because it's brilliant, but rated M, some because it deals with characters that only I like, some because it's full of major spoilers, but mostly because it's stuff that I consider mediocre). I'd be highly honored if you checked it out. The journal's rated M in general, but each fic comes with its own rating so that you can pick and chose. (The vast majority will be fairly safe.) And you should check out my banner, because it's everything I love about Naruto, in a banner. Introducing: ExcessiveKallie.livejournal.com Announcement; 1) A few of you may be aware that I have a completely unhealthy love for the Hyuuga clan... All five of them, but mostly Neji... and the Twins. What you may not be aware of is that sometimes I hurt the ones I love. Like by helping to write this story with BookWyrmy: Spiritual Relations. Currently the summary isn't as good as it could be, so here's what you need to know: 1) There is a lot of body-transfering 2) Dark Corner's very own Grandma Hyuuga will be making an appearance. 3) Hiashi has a magical girl transformation sequence. But, of course, you should already know this. It's just common sense. Read this story. It's everything I love about the Hyuugas... and so, so much more. Some amazing people have been doing illustrations for my stuff because I threatened them... er, because they're too good to me. XD So, here are the links, and be sure to comment, fave, browse through their galleries, ect. And remember, illustrations are always welcome! By Antifishestablishmentarianist for Culture Shock: http://theamazingrinsama.deviantart.com/art/The-Begining-64420225 By Element-Girls for XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine: http://element-girls.deviantart.com/art/Not-as-far-as-you-thought-64037597 By Arafaxdeep20 for XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine: http://arafaxdeep20.deviantart.com/art/Attached-at-the-Ring-2-69159766 (Now with Photoshop!) Illustration by an artist of dubious ability for XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine: http://kalliopestarmist.deviantart.com/art/Youko-and-Kenta-62650911 The Fortune of Mrs. Sakura Official List Sakura X Genma, The Forth Hokage, Kimimaro, Kisame, Hidan, Pein, Zetsu, Kakuzu, Tobi, Yamato, Lee, Kiba, Chouji, Naruto, Sasuke, Haku, Kyuubi, Iruka, Hayate, Jiraiya, Suigetsu, Kotetsu, and Izumo About the Authoress: KalliopeStarmist is a college student majoring in crack pairings and minoring in procrastination. She lives in an otaku-dominated dorm with her laptop, her spare personalities, her pet shinigami, and her two muses. Her hobbies include failing to be an epic older sister, pretending to do her homework, and telling people 'bout the Hyuugas. Reminder: Just because a story is complete/old doesn't mean that I don't love getting reviews on it! (hint hint, nod nod, wink wink) (yes, I'm a shameless whore) Deviantart (Which you should check out because I do put up fanfics/fanfic-like literature there occasionally.): http://kalliopestarmist.deviantart.com/ --Kallie's Friends-- "I may be losing, but you're Neji, and I'll be better after the match." --Hinata at the Chunin Exams. (Link constantly broken... it's Chopkins at fictionpress.com.) "Gaara, the only monster in your bedroom is y-- Yargh." --Temari almost speaks before she thinks. Tenten: I hugged you, shouldn't you turn into a cat? "From now on we shall be called Team Pixie Stick!" --Sasuke Sloth and Pride: We've come up with the perfect punishment! We'll strap you to a wall and force you to listen to Dante's rants about the Good Old Days! Deathnote: A sociopath, a shinigami, a Mary Sue, and an OCD genius walk into a hotel room. The question: Will they get the handcuffs off before the potato chips run out? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer 2: If I owned any of the series that I write for (Weiss Kreuz, Zelda, Harry Potter, FullMetal Alchemist, Evangelion, Naruto, ect,) I wouldn't be posting them on fanfiction. I would be relaxing in a tropical beachside mansion, sipping tropic rum drinks and laughing at the world. Disclaimer 3: Gary Bother, My Zelda Fic (I can't even remember its name) and What Happens in Weiss are not to be read. I'm ashamed of them. I keep them only for their aesthetic and sentimental value. Do not waste your time. | |||||||||
1. Raising Albert » reviewsNeji and Naruto make the ultimate commitment and purchase a plant together. But in the back of his mind, Naruto wonders, is their relationship really strong enough for a step this big? NejiNaru.Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 22,420 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 10-10-09 - Published: 8-12-09 - Naruto U. & Neji H. - Complete2. The Fortune of Mrs Sakura » reviewsSakura goes to a fortuneteller, who offers to let her spend one day married to each of her potential matches. Of course, she doesn't realize that Lee and Sasuke are just the tip of the iceburg. .:Every Sakura Pairing:.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 15 - Words: 63,411 - Reviews: 1552 - Updated: 5-3-09 - Published: 1-13-07 - Sakura H. & Shikamaru N.3. Dark Corners of the House of the Rising Sun » reviews.:drabble:. Tales from Konoha's Quintessential Dysfunctional Family, the Hyuugas. Starring Hinata, Hanabi, Hiashi, Hizashi, and Neji, even though his name doesn't start with an H.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 19 - Words: 36,022 - Reviews: 246 - Updated: 1-28-09 - Published: 3-22-07 - Hiashi H. & Hizashi H.4. Good Help » reviewsWorking undercover as part of an eccletic staff for a socially-inept heir was the last place that Itachi expected to start questioning himself and his loyalties.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,929 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 11-9-08 - Published: 10-20-08 - Itachi U. & Sai5. Culture Shock » reviewsThe people of Suna are harsh as the desert. The people of Konoha are treacherous as forest shadows. The passionate cannot thrive there... .:ItaTem:.Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 28,561 - Reviews: 146 - Updated: 6-19-08 - Published: 5-29-07 - Temari & Itachi U.6. XxpuppetmasterxX and LilMzSunshine » reviewsKankuro and Hinata end up in a loveless marriage :blame their fathers: , which is, of course, their cue to retreat to the internet and fall in love with other people. But the internet is no substitute for real life... KankuroXHinataNaruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,111 - Reviews: 304 - Updated: 4-11-08 - Published: 6-27-07 - Hinata H. & Kankuro - Complete7. Sasuke's Triumphant Return » reviewsTwo different oneshots wherein Sasuke makes his way back to Konoha, with Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo in tow. Contains manga spoilers.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,227 - Reviews: 33 - Updated: 3-31-08 - Published: 3-18-08 - Sasuke U. - Complete8. Jurassic Love » reviewsOmi goes to his brother for dating advice, Schwarz struggles to raise Nagi without killing him, a new assassin group appears, and then Ken's been watching the Smurfs... [crack fic... duh.]Weiss Kreuz - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,511 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 2-2-08 - Published: 12-5-07 - Omi T.9. THE Party Fic » reviewsOr There's a Ninja On the Ceiling. Our favorite genin have a little bash at Naruto's house. Be prepared for Twister, Karaoke, DDR, bad movies, and drunken ninjas. Definitely drunk ninjas.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,890 - Reviews: 57 - Updated: 11-6-07 - Published: 6-27-0710. NaruHina NejiHina Battle Royale » reviewsAs long as there has been fandom, there has been a battle between Naruto and Neji for Hinata's affection. Today, the battlefield is a series of very short oneshots. Place your bets.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,828 - Reviews: 59 - Updated: 11-3-07 - Published: 10-27-07 - Naruto U. & Neji H. - Complete11. Fairy Godmother Shukaku » reviewsTemari was rather fond of Shukaku, at least, she didn't have a problem with him until he decided she needs a boyfriend, and he's just the demon to find her one! [ShikamaruXTemariXItachi triangle, lime]Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 26,653 - Reviews: 145 - Updated: 10-25-07 - Published: 10-7-06 - Temari & Itachi U. - Complete12. Dante's Divine Sitcom reviewsThe life and times of Anime!Pride. Because the only thing more traumatic than having Envy as your older brother is not getting any screentime to complain about it. [Spoilers, and lots of them]Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 663 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10-24-07 - Führer Bradley & Envy13. Babydoll reviews.:SasoSaku, fluff, oneshot:. Wherein Sasori learns what it means to create something of beauty, and Sakura learns that good, evil, kindness, and cruelty do not follow social expectations.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,617 - Reviews: 28 - Published: 9-14-07 - Sasori & Sakura H. - Complete14. Twirlygigs and Gizzards » reviewsSakura, fed up with the romance interests in her life, decides to drag Gaara around town. Not too complicated, so why is everyone so confused? [SakuGaar][Chapter 12 is up!]Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,814 - Reviews: 431 - Updated: 7-26-07 - Published: 7-31-06 - Sakura H. & Gaara - Complete15. One Day at the Playground reviewsSasuke, tell you what, why don't I take you to the park? You can meet some kids your own age and stop bugging me. [Oneshot baby!nins]Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,583 - Reviews: 51 - Published: 7-11-07 - Itachi U. & Hinata H. - Complete16. The Mysterious Hermano reviews[oneshot, Kankuro X Shikamaru] After a wild party at Sasuke's, Temari begins to suspect that Shikamaru is cheating on her and so enlists the help of her brother to track down the mysterious Hermano who has stolen her boyfriend.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,335 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 6-20-07 - Shikamaru N. & Kankuro - Complete17. Trouble Brewing in the House of Sand » reviewsGaara's parents before he was born. The version your Uncle Yashamaru didn't tell you. If you've ever wondered why Mom didn't tell Dad exactly where he could stick Shukaku, then this may be your fic!Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,418 - Reviews: 74 - Updated: 6-8-07 - Published: 1-23-07 - Complete18. The EDO : Join the Resistance! reviewsEd is not all he appears, and when his evil plan goes into motion, the fate of humanity may rest on the inhuman. Ed is clever, true, but the Sins aren't done yet... [oneshot AU]Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,641 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-24-07 - Winry R. & Envy - Complete19. Sort Of reviews[oneshot] Temari's taking forever to get ready, so Shikamaru has a chat with Kankuro while he's waiting. After all, the two of them are friends. Sort of. [Kankuro X Shikamaru]Naruto - Rated: T - English - General/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,273 - Reviews: 21 - Published: 1-23-07 - Shikamaru N. & Kankuro - Complete20. A SugarySweet Christmas Tale reviewsTake Christmas Cheer, add ninjas, a hearty dose of humor and some sappy fluff, mix well. Sprinkle lightly with crack pairing. Serve as a oneshot.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,749 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 12-17-06 - Complete21. Several Short Stories Starring Sloth » reviewsThe Military's resident snobby secretary tackles workaholism, parenting, Elrics, and all of reincarnation's other little quirks.Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,730 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 11-17-06 - Published: 2-25-06 - Sloth - Complete22. One Day by the River reviews[oneshot] This is Uchiha Itachi, age 11. The little boy over there is his younger brother. Yes, that's right, the one surrounded by girls.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 860 - Reviews: 59 - Published: 10-21-06 - Itachi U. & Hinata H. - Complete23. Uncle Dearest reviews[oneshot] A Twisted StoryArch Masterpiece. Temari's To Do List: Do dishes, make sure Kankuro eats, and dispose of her uncle's body before Gaara gets arrested. Just a typical evening, really.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,791 - Reviews: 26 - Published: 9-21-06 - Temari & Kankuro - Complete24. The Village Hidden in the Lemon Peels » reviewsAfter an attack on their friends, Naruto and Sasuke seek vengence from the infamous Writer Ninjas of Lemongakure. Joined by Zabuza and his li'l friend Haku, they have to hurry, because things are heating up in Konoha, and they may be its only hope.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,794 - Reviews: 53 - Updated: 9-9-06 - Published: 6-27-06 - Complete25. Trying To Be Human » reviewsBy Popular Demand: the sequel to 'If You Give A Sin A Soul! Poor little Reg thought his problems were over. But, then, he thought his folks were dead, too. Can the littlest Sin get married before Roy gets too nosy?Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,795 - Reviews: 29 - Updated: 7-31-06 - Published: 10-23-05 - Elysia H. & Wrath - Complete26. One Day at the Hospital reviews[oneshot] What do food poisoning, trying to kill your brother, old drinking games, and vanilla milkshakes have in common? Well, they can all land you at Konoha Memorial Hospital.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,204 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 7-18-06 - Complete27. Twisted StoryArch Masterpiece Theater » reviewsThe ending CartoonNetwork didn't want you to see. Rose tortures Ed, Dante, and assorted Sins, Roy and Sciesca decide that Bradley's term of office is up, and the truth behind lab 5 comes out! Don't miss it!Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,412 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 6-17-06 - Published: 5-7-06 - Complete28. Evangelion: Hagane No Genesis » reviewsOr: Hoenheim of Light Saves the World With Giant Robots Piloted by his Sons. What was Winry and Hughes' past relationship? Why does Riza hate Sloth? Watch the drama unfold as Ed and Envy stomp around in giant robots! [rated for language]Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,157 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 6-17-06 - Published: 6-14-06 - Complete29. Lust of Ishbala reviews[Lust X Scar] All Lust wanted was to die. The evil, egomaniac author had other plans. Now she's 'living' with Scar and his family... [one shot]Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,606 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 5-5-06 - Lust & Scar - Complete30. If You Give a Sin a Soul » reviewsTaking your girlfriend to meet your folks is never easy, especially when your 'folks' are former homunculi. Not to mention, Reg's girlfriend has a secret that may prove more devistating that Envy's wardrobe impairment.Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,192 - Reviews: 33 - Updated: 9-22-05 - Published: 9-20-05 - Wrath & Elysia H. - Complete31. What Happens in Weiss, Stays in Weiss » reviewsThe Nuances of Toast, a band of merry original characters, find themselves trapped in the land of Killer Florists. Will they find a way home before being killed by irrate fangirls?Weiss Kreuz - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 35,913 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 6-2-05 - Published: 3-20-05 - Complete32. Gary Bother and the Shiny Rock o' Magic » reviewsGary leaves behind his disfunctional distant relations and braves evil bowling balls, fluffy puppies, teachers who can really hold a grudge, and the occasional mortal enemy at Pigpimple School for Warlocks and Weirdos.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,998 - Reviews: 20 - Updated: 2-9-05 - Published: 9-17-04 - Complete33. Hyrule as Seen by a Third Party » reviewsKicked from one culture to another, looking for a home or a cooler name, forced into a spotlight that assasins are drawn to, what's a girl to do but play along? Never to be finishedLegend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - General - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,281 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 1-13-05 - Published: 11-30-04 - Complete
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