Hiya!
Pause.
Oh god, that sounds cutesy...
~I am a part of the Authors Against Perfect Original Characters Society (AAPOCS). If you are too, copy and paste this into your profile!
"With God and black magic on my side, I can't lose!" Adrienne, quoting MTV.
Prisoner: I've heard stories about the Black Pearl...they leave no survivors.
Capt. Jack Sparrow: If there aren't any survivors, then where do all the stories come from?
Professor Lupin: Severus, don't be a fool.
Sirius Black: He can't help it. It's habit by now.
"No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the childrens menu I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it"
Artemis Fowl II
"Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning."
Colonel David M. Shoup - (Tarawa) - 21st November 1943
"Oops. My sword slipped." Hiei, destroying the Chapter Black video.
"Tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity," said by Hiei to Kuwabara, the one living in a constant haze of stupidity.
"There are two things you can't avoid in life. Death, and chickens." Tanner.
"Oh great, my alien looks like a guy in a turban!" My friend Reshma (some interesting people I hang out with, huh? And it really did look like a guy in a turban. That was my idea. We made masks in art class.)
"He's taken off with a fixated ghost! That totaly violates the laws of the underworld. Ew he's so reckless!" Botan
"YUSUKE YOU IDIOT! So tough! For freakin' BAD-Ass... AND YOU DIE IN TRAFFIC! That's a wimps death! I didn't raise no WIMP! moron." Yusuke's caring mother, Atsuko.
"I don't want a shot! I don't want a shot!" Goku, DBZ
"That's okay Joey, you don't have to say anything mushy," Mai, Yu-Gi-Oh (Yes, Joey, please, whatever you do, if you love Mai at all which you do, but that's beyond the point, DON'T SAY ANYTHING MUSHY!)
"It's an acorn, dumbass!" Mai, an O.C. in a YuYuHakashu story.
"It was about as unbelievable as if you had fired a 15-inch shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you," Rutherford, a scientist in the 1900's, of his gold foil experiment.
""We're on a grail quest. Who better to help us than a knight?" Robert Langdon, the Da Vinci Code. Answer: ANYBODY! But that's just my opinion.
Okay, apparently Barbie had a little sister, Midge, who used to live in the Dream House with Barbie. Then she disapeared. My friend Jessie has a theory on this. "Ken got Midge pregnant so Barbie kicked her out of the Dream House, but she forgave Ken 'cause she LOVES him."
Another Jessie quote- "Have you ever noticed that Ken doesn't seem to have a job? It's always Barbie. It's like Ken's being paid by Barbie's parents to play with her!"
Also from Jessie: "Barbie has a new career every week. Astronaut, rock star, teacher, president...She's like 20!"
"Alcohal-the cause and solution to all lifes problems," Homer, the Simpsons.
"They killed Kenny. You bastards!" Kyle, South Park.
"In case you haven't noticed, we're not in bloody England!" Carla, whenever someone gets mad when she keeps saying Bloody Bugger. But then, given how often she says those two, chances are we'd get mad no matter what she said in place of those two.
"Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely," Lord Acton.
"We all have sufficient strength to endure the misfortunes of others." -François, duc de La Rochefoucauld
"If there must be troubly, let it be in my day, that my children may have peace," George Washington.
98 percent of teenagers have either drank alchohol or done drugs. If you're one of the 2 that hasn't, post this on your profile.
92 percent of the teen population would be DEAD if Abercrombie & Finch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you'd be one of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.
"The British have been oppressing us for too long by keeping us dependent on them for drugs! But now, we're pulling one over on them! Now we're starting to make our OWN drugs! We're cutting them out of the picture entirely!" -Me, who is Irish, to my friend Edith, who is Chinese.
"The British outlawed the sales of opium in their own country, but legalized its sale to China." -My history teacher "Well, that was thoughtful." -Edith
("Jesus is standing in your room and he asks you to point to one thing in your room that would show him what you are looking for in life." -Robin, my Church-Leader-Person
"My bible!"
"My cat!"
"My PS3!"
"Uh, Jesus." -Me
"All excellent answers! Now, is Jesus real to you?" -Robin
"Obviously. He's standing in my room." -Me)
"There's no such thing as a stupid question. Only stupid people asking questions."
"There's no such thing as a stupid question. (someone asks question) I stand corrected."
"Disturbing? Who am I disturbing? This is a coma ward! Don't you WANT them to wake up?"
"Good to see you, Mr. Bond. Things have been awfully dull around here...I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence."
"No, I don't have a gambling problem. I'm winning, and winning is not a problem. That's like saying Michael Jordan has a basketball problem, or Def Leppard has an awesomeness problem." Earl (My Name is Earl)
"It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." Winston Churchill
Harry Potter Fanfiction Pet Peeves
Seeing as how there's more HP fics on this site than any other type by at least two times the second hightest one (whatever that is), I've read quite a bit of them, and found some things that tend to annoy me to no end.
Harry/Hermione. I know a lot of people like it, but I can't for the life of me understand why. I think it's just the way it's usually portrayed. It's rather dull, generally, as there's no explosive tension like there is with Ron, Draco, Tom Riddle, even Snape...They just get along really, really well. With no issues whatsoever. And Muggle technology abounds. And Harry becomes a bookworm and the most powerful being ever who can kill Voldemort when he revives himself in the graveyard, Horcruxes be damned. I guess it's not surprising, though, as a lot of these fics usually hate Ron (poor Ron) and have him say something completely heartless and out of character and won't apologize because he's just apparently stupid like that and Harry and Hermione take to hanging out with Ginny and Neville, who eventually get together, and occasionally Ron gets held back a year and Ginny gets moved up a year. And Harry drops Divination for either Ancient Runes or Divination. I am willing to be open-minded about this, though, when I find a well-written one.
Pairing people up for the sake of pairing people up I'll admit that I'm a Neville/Luna fan and one of the few bits of evidence from the books (because they're in it so little) for them is that out of the six people who go to the Ministry, Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione just leave those two, but in some cases, it goes too far. Such as, say, when in a Harry/Hermione fic Ginny and Neville decide their madly in love for no real reason except Ginny needs to get over Harry so as not to cause any awkwardness. Same for fics deciding Ron wants to be overprotective about Ginny, going so far as to absolutely refusing to allow his best friend to date her, despite heavy hinting at the end of book five that he wants her to choose Harry, and Hermione and Neville get together.
Dumbledore/McGonagall In addition to the recent "Dumbledore is Gay" thing (which, I'll confess, I never saw coming. I just figured Harry wouldn't be privy to the Headmaster's love life if he even had one at that age...) I understand that they're both old. However, they are 44 years apart, and just because they're both old doesn't mean that there is no difference between someone who is in their seventies and someone who is well over a hundred.
The General Portrayal of Peter Pettigrew in Maurader Fics In the Pensieve memory in book 5, granted, it has Pettigrew being a bit slow. (I mean, not knowing the signs of a werewolf? Come on!) Still, though, having Sirius constantly harass him just doesn't seem to be very realistic, considering that Sirius trusted Pettirgrew with the Potter's safety over Remus. Also, he can't possibly be obviously evil/ a death eater because he's nice really a malicious person. Just a very weak one. Either way, at Hogwarts, under Dumbledore's protection, there's no way Voldemort could have gotten to him yet. Besides, what would be the point? He only ever learned anything once he joined the Order, after graduation. And then there are those fics that have Sirius, James, and Remus all being incredibly close, and Peter just being off on the sidelines. More of a casual acquaintance. Remember, regardless of how horrible his betrayal was, they put him in the position to do that because they trusted him and counted him among their closest friends.
Fics written after the release of DH that have Lily-Snape animosity Snape loved Lily. The two of them were close friends up until that OWLs incident. That's just the way things are. I can't stand it when people have Lily only try to help him because she hates James. She'd probably stop any bullying she saw because she had a moral problem with it, even if she wasn't close to him. Additionally, I don't think Lily ever hated Snape, she just couldn't support his choices and so cut her ties. Still doesn't mean she'd support bullying him or pranking him.
Soul Bonds I get that Ginny is Harry's "one true love" or whatever. So maybe, once they are old enough, it wouldn't be so bad. But really. Having a soul bond from, say, the Chamber of Secrets events isi a bit...much. She's turning twelve, he's not even thirteen. They haven't really gone through puberty and there is no way that Harry or Ginny will be ready for this. They won't be able to have a crush on anyone else and when they are mad at each other it's painful? People always get mad at each other but that shouldn't make it physically painful. That's just not very practical. Plus, Ginny, at this point, is nothing special. She's just another first year who happened to be the daughter of a prominent Death Eater's political rival and therefore had a traumatizing first year. At this point she is still just another Harry Potter fangirl who Harry has reason to believe would join a Harry Potter fanclub. The only thing that would set her apart from every other Harry Potter fangirl out there (and there are plenty. Romilda Vane, anyone?) is the fact that Harry happened to ask her mother about the platform and her brother couldn't find another compartment. It has to wait until they are older and Ginny outgrows her hero worship.
Time Travel Fic Romances Now, make no mistake, I am incredibly fond of Time Travel Fics. I love how Harry can have a much-improved schooling experience and the changes are always amusing. Few of the TTF writers seem very fond of Snape, though...Anyway: Unless the love interest also comes back, romances between Harry and, say, Ginny are a little...Odd. To say the least. I mean, he's thirty and she's ten and that has got to be some sort of pedophilia. And he starts treating her like she's the love of his life and not just another fangirl, which is what she is at this point. And even if she wasn't, she's barely into puberty and not exactly ready to be tied down to a commited relationship at the tender age of ten. Worst is when, because Harry is married when he goes back, that means Ginny is automatically married, too. At the age of, with luck, eleven. Seriously, I can't really believe that Wizards wouldn't have found a way to avoid being married without ever realizing it. Otherwise they could accidentally get married, then fall in love and try to get married and find they couldn't and it would just be a mess...
Blatant Character Bashing It's perfectly fine for a parody to go all out. For a character that Harry doesn't like it's acceptable, so long as it's not over-the-top. For instance, Ron might be immature, but then, he's eleven. It doesn't mean he never grows up and will continue to act like he's eleven all the way up until he's seventeen. He might have some jealousy issues, that doesn't mean he's a horrible person. Snape might be horrible to Harry, but Harry's horrible back and doesn't actually try in Potions. And engineered a potentially lethal potions accident so Hermione could steal from him in second year. Either way, if Snape were that obviously evil, Dumbledore would have noticed it. Dumbledore may be old and doesn't like to tell anyone anything if he can help it, but he obviously cares about Harry. When Dumbledore learned how Voldemort came back, he knows Harry won't have to stay dead and he tries to help people by manipulating them, not just because he gets a kick out of it. And he's NOT unreasonable. If Harry can give him a better option, he'll take it.
Harry goint to an alternate dimension and having a little sister The problem with this is that, yes, Harry's sister will have known him her entire life, but he will probably be very different, considering the vastly different upbringing. Also, he wouldn't act as overprotective as Ron towards his sister he barely knows and, say, punch out a guy she's dating who he doesn't approve of. Also, he needs time to get to know her, not just automatically accept that they are related and act like they grew up together.
Veronica Mars Fanfiction Pet Peeves
Lilly alive but not friends with Veronica If Veronica could be friends with Lilly for years and years without realizing that Lilly was a horrible person, chances are, she's not a horrible person. Just probably a nymphomaniac. Veronica wouldn't turn her back on Lilly just because she was sleeping with Aaron, although they would definitely have a huge fight.
Logan and Veronica are secretly in love with each other, not the Kanes Pre-outcast Veronica was perfect for Duncan and probably would have annoyed Logan as a girlfriend. Besides, if they were both madly in love with each other, why didn't they go after each other...before the Kanes did? And didn't Celeste only tell Duncan about the possible incest when it looked like they were getting serious? Why would it have appeared like that unless they really liked each other? And why would Logan let Lilly keep making a fool of him unless he loved her? Caitlin Ford cheated on him once and she was immediately and unceremoniously dumped, so he can't just not mind it.
Piz and Veronica That's actually a bit harder to justify, since technically it's canon, but...They weren't planning on ending it after Season 3! Those two aren't ACTUALLY supposed to be together, just another thing to keep Logan and Veronica apart for a bit. I mean, he's too naive for her. Can anyone really see Veronica dating a guy who leaves his car with all his worldly belonings unattended and, what's more, actually hands it over to the "Welcome Committee" that no one else has ever heard of without a second thought? Me either.
Logan defending Veronica after Lilly's death and becoming an outcast himself Considering that he was the one who turned the school against her (with Duncan just flat-out ignoring her, which was more because they were exes than anything else), he probably could have lessened the ostracizing if not outright stopped it. And I think he really only turned the 09ers against her, the rest of the school mostly just went after her because the 09ers dumped on everybody and she was one of them who had suddenly fallen from grace and who the others wouldn't defend and so the rest of the school could feel like they were getting back at all of them but attacking her. That's just my interpretation, but I can't imagine why the rest of the school would be that upset about Veronica siding with her dad over the 09ers as she wasn't "betraying" THEM.
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