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| Sarah1281 |
Author has written 324 stories for Harry Potter, RENT, D N Angel, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica: 2003, 1984, Smallville, Mass Effect, Fullmetal Alchemist, High School Musical, Animorphs, Shakespeare, Naruto, Clue, House, M.D., Matrix, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Dragon Age, Inception, 1776, Truman Show, Doctor Who, Twilight, Breakfast Club, Community, Pirates of the Caribbean, V for Vendetta, Count of Monte Cristo, Law and Order: CI, Torchwood, Rocky Horror, American Horror Story, Sherlock, Once Upon a Time, Revenge, Alcatraz, Star Wars, Ringer, Dr. Seuss series, Borgias, Thor, Avengers, Snow White and the Huntsman, Quantum Leap, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, Dallas, Law and Order, Luther, Downton Abbey, Person of Interest, Grimm, A Christmas Carol, Les Misérables, Les Miserables, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Psych, and Big Bang Theory. Hiya! Pause. Oh god, that sounds cutesy... I am a part of the Authors Against Perfect Original Characters Society (AAPOCS). If you are too, copy and paste this into your profile! R.I.P Uchiha Itachi Note: If you're going to PM me and would like to get a reply (maybe you have a question or request) then you either need to have PMs enabled on your account, provide an email address for me to reply to, or have a story I can reply to in a review. If you do not then you just aren't going to get an answer no matter how much I might feel like replying. You'd be surprised how many people ask questions they can never get an answer to that way... Other Note: So I've recently noticed how many things from my profile have been just copied and pasted into the profile's of other people. As I'm usually not mentioned, that's not really a good thing. I mean, even some of the quotes that came from my friends are on other people's profiles and I'm nearly positive that they don't know these people. It's also a bit disconcerting seeing something that I came up with like the 'Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight' (sometimes shortened to ten) mentioned as being taken from someone else. If you're going to take something that I've done without asking, could you at least mention where you got it? I really don't think that's unreasonable. "With God and black magic on my side, I can't lose!" Adrienne, quoting MTV. Prisoner: I've heard stories about the Black Pearl...they leave no survivors. Professor Lupin: Severus, don't be a fool. "No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the childrens menu I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it" "Casualties many; Percentage of dead not known; Combat efficiency; we are winning." "Oops. My sword slipped." Hiei, destroying the Chapter Black video. "Tell me, what's it like living in a constant haze of stupidity," said by Hiei to Kuwabara, the one living in a constant haze of stupidity. "There are two things you can't avoid in life. Death, and chickens." Tanner. "Oh great, my alien looks like a guy in a turban!" My friend Reshma (some interesting people I hang out with, huh? And it really did look like a guy in a turban. That was my idea. We made masks in art class.) "He's taken off with a fixated ghost! That totaly violates the laws of the underworld. Ew he's so reckless!" Botan "YUSUKE YOU IDIOT! So tough! For freakin' BAD-Ass... AND YOU DIE IN TRAFFIC! That's a wimps death! I didn't raise no WIMP! moron." Yusuke's caring mother, Atsuko. "I don't want a shot! I don't want a shot!" Goku, DBZ "That's okay Joey, you don't have to say anything mushy," Mai, Yu-Gi-Oh (Yes, Joey, please, whatever you do, if you love Mai at all which you do, but that's beyond the point, DON'T SAY ANYTHING MUSHY!) "It's an acorn, dumbass!" Mai, an O.C. in a YuYuHakashu story. "It was about as unbelievable as if you had fired a 15-inch shell at a piece of tissue paper and it came back and hit you," Rutherford, a scientist in the 1900's, of his gold foil experiment. ""We're on a grail quest. Who better to help us than a knight?" Robert Langdon, the Da Vinci Code. Answer: ANYBODY! But that's just my opinion. Okay, apparently Barbie had a little sister, Midge, who used to live in the Dream House with Barbie. Then she disapeared. My friend Jessie has a theory on this. "Ken got Midge pregnant so Barbie kicked her out of the Dream House, but she forgave Ken 'cause she LOVES him." Another Jessie quote- "Have you ever noticed that Ken doesn't seem to have a job? It's always Barbie. It's like Ken's being paid by Barbie's parents to play with her!" Also from Jessie: "Barbie has a new career every week. Astronaut, rock star, teacher, president...She's like 20!" "Alcohal-the cause and solution to all lifes problems," Homer, the Simpsons. "They killed Kenny. You bastards!" Kyle, South Park. "In case you haven't noticed, we're not in bloody England!" Carla, whenever someone gets mad when she keeps saying Bloody Bugger. But then, given how often she says those two, chances are we'd get mad no matter what she said in place of those two. "Power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely," Lord Acton. "We all have sufficient strength to endure the misfortunes of others." -François, duc de La Rochefoucauld "If there must be troubly, let it be in my day, that my children may have peace," George Washington. 98 percent of teenagers have either drank alchohol or done drugs. If you're one of the 2 that hasn't, post this on your profile. 92 percent of the teen population would be DEAD if Abercrombie & Finch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Repost this if you'd be one of the 8 percent laughing your ass off. "The British have been oppressing us for too long by keeping us dependent on them for drugs! But now, we're pulling one over on them! Now we're starting to make our OWN drugs! We're cutting them out of the picture entirely!" -Me, who is Irish, to my friend Edith, who is Chinese. "The British outlawed the sales of opium in their own country, but legalized its sale to China." -My history teacher "Well, that was thoughtful." -Edith ("Jesus is standing in your room and he asks you to point to one thing in your room that would show him what you are looking for in life." -Robin, my Church-Leader-Person "My bible!" "My cat!" "My PS3!" "Uh, Jesus." -Me "All excellent answers! Now, is Jesus real to you?" -Robin "Obviously. He's standing in my room." -Me) "There's no such thing as a stupid question. Only stupid people asking questions." "There's no such thing as a stupid question. (someone asks question) I stand corrected." "Disturbing? Who am I disturbing? This is a coma ward! Don't you WANT them to wake up?" "Good to see you, Mr. Bond. Things have been awfully dull around here...I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence." "No, I don't have a gambling problem. I'm winning, and winning is not a problem. That's like saying Michael Jordan has a basketball problem, or Def Leppard has an awesomeness problem." Earl (My Name is Earl) "It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma." Winston Churchill "If Lana doesn't want to be labeled a vengeful psychopath, then she really needs to stop trying to kill me," Lex Luthor, "Therefore I Am" by P.L. Nunn Lana's smile bloomed, this graceful, grateful thing that Clark couldn't help but smile back at. "Quality Time" by P.L. Nunn Ianto didn't think he'd ever seen anything more awful than a five-year-old being brave. "Get Loved, Make More, Try to Stay Alive" by dsudis General Fanfiction Pet Peeves That's not to say I won't read a story that includes one or stop reading it if it starts, but it does get really annoying. To repeat: using one or more than one of these are not necessarily deal-breakers for me. Boy likes girl, girl doesn't like boy, boy sexually harrasses girl until her hormones overwhelm her and they date Honestly, people: No means no. Just because teenagers have raging hormones and respond to guys who keep touching them or making out with them does not mean that they really secretly like them. This applies to boy on boy, girl on boy, and girl on girl, too, but I've encountered more boy on girl stories like this. I'd actually really like to see one where all of this happens except, at the end, the boy finds out - much to his surprise - that no really does mean no and the girl has hooked up with someone else who doesn't feel the need to constantly molest her. I mean, if nothing else how can the relationship have anything to do with trust or respect when he won't respect her boundaries or let her have a say about whether the relationship will happen or not? Hero realizes he must get stronger, gets girlfriend, and the two of them become the most powerful people who ever lived despite being teenagers I'll give the hero a little slack here since they usually had an advantage to begin with, but just because the hero decides he likes a girl and she likes him back, why does that necessarily guarentee she's going to suddenly get superpowered? And if the training is just something along the lines of 'ran, sparred, and practiced spells/ninjutsu/insert appropriate series magic here' for a few hours over the summer...seriously, now you're ready to take on people who've been training for years? Lame. And very boring. Couple gets together and are blissfully happy, sometimes going on vacations where they are just so blissfully happy I suppose that technically there's nothing WRONG with this but...it's so incredibly BORING I really can't stand to read very much of it. Add some flaws, some drama...even some humor! And one of them being embarrassed because they are teenagers and find the other so incredibly attractive doesn't count. I get they're happy. If nothing but pure happiness is going on and it's not a one-shot or the last chapter, then why in the world is the story still going on? Next generation fic Again, nothing really wrong with this but...I wanted to read a story about the characters we know and love, not their precocious little brats. But then, I don't like OC's (for the same reason...I already care about the existing characters and OC's steal focus away from them) at the best of times and the kids usually play a big role in the stories and are either whiny, amazingly talented, or attempting to be 'cute' and failing. OC love interests Dear God, if a character is evil and going about killing things with no regard to anyone else because of a tragic past, a sociopathic personality, or just because they can that means they have problems. Big ones. It does NOT mean that they simply haven't found the right girl/boy who is the only one to understand them and can 'heal' them. If the evil character in question does decide to give them a chance, it's an abusive relationship waiting to happen, not the Mary Sue redeeming the bad guy through the power of love. This story type is especially awful if it DOES become an abusive relationship, the Mary Sue sticks it out anyway, and the evil guy feels bad and stops so they live happily ever after. Harem Fics Maybe it's just that I'm a girl from a monogamous society, but that's always come across as rather sexist to me. The girls each only get one guy but the guy gets all of them? And he's so amazing that they don't mind sharing despite also often coming from a monogamous society? And he is so modest that it's the girls' idea and he has to be 'persuaded'? Seriously? Just...yeah... And because I've gotten some comments saying 'Oh, well what about Naruto? He can clone himself hundreds of times so each girl might as well be his only love interest as he can spend an infinite amount of time with her!' It's funny; I really wasn't aware that the reason that people want monogamy was because they are afraid that their LI won't be able to spend enough time with them if said LI is seeing multiple people. In other words: yes I do still have a problem with Naruto harems and it was actually Naruto harems that I found so inescapable that I added this to the list. The reason it's not under 'Naruto Pet Peeves' is that it annoys me just as much when, say, Harry Potter does it and I've seen plenty of harem stories from other fandoms as well. A is in love with and dating B but because B is either of the same gender or not 'good' enough for A's family, A marries trophy wife, something happens to said wife, years later A and B are back together A may not feel like they have a choice because they have obligations or want kids or whatever, but they DID have the final say in leaving B. That A would still love B all these years later I can believe because A loved B at the time of the split, did not love their wife, and so over-romanticized when they were happy together. That B still loved A, I suppose I could even accept in the 'pining after lost love' sort of way. That trophy wife - who may even be a really good, likeable person and love A - conveniently dies off leaving A with children/a company/ whatever reason he had for marrying her in the first place and he goes back to B? That shows that B has so little self-respect that he or she would accept him back after all these years, showing that A could basically do whatever they wanted to B and 'love' would carry the day...that's usually written as a happy ending to the story, but I don't think it is. B REALLY needs to move on with their life because they invariable deserve someone who won't make them wait years if not decades to get together. I suppose the story could play out with A being a girl, but I've yet to see it nor do I read Yuri. A likes/loves B but B refuses him. A forces sex on B and in the middle of it B decides this is what he/she really wants after all. Rape is both immoral AND illegal and just because B's body might be having a physiological response doesn't mean they are secretly enjoying it. It doesn't matter whether B really DOES want to be with A because no means no either way and A needs to respect that. That these stories usually have A and B end up a couple after that night without A having any consequentions for their actions, admiting they were wrong, B being at all traumatized...hell, even the appalling rape as drama fics would be better if B was so traumatized they went along with A. But no. B honestly has no problem with what happened and is happy with the way things turn out. Seriously, there are no words... Arranged Marriages It really makes the pairing inorganic because once the couple is married, they are left with only three options: a) live life miserable and alone even though they are married b) have an affair, which really isn't fair to whoever is involved but not part of the marriage, particularly if love is involved or c) the married couple falls in love. Yeah, C hurts less people and does make everyone happy in the end, but the couple don't get to choose one another, it is forced on them and I just really hate the whole concept. Would it really be so difficlt for the pair to get together of their own free will? And if the marriage is arranged because they already like each other but don't realize/won't admit its mutual? Their well-meaning family and friends would do better trying to get them to admit it than forcing them into a relationship. Infidelity Stories Yes, I know fanfiction lets you get away with things that in real life would make you a horrible person but...I can't stand it. I don't care if you loved someone for years but are trapped in a loveless marriage, are in an arranged marriage, cannot be divorced, it was just one time, hormones overpowered you, you were drunk...it's a bad idea. I don't like it and I can't ever be pulling for the cheating pair no matter how true their love is or how awful the spouse is. And no 'my hormones made me do it' does not justify it. Likewise, if the main couple are married (or even just dating) and one of them cheats on the other then I cannot support that couple finding their way back to each other. I don't care if it's drama, it's just far too distateful for me to want anything to do with it. Nicknames Now, this is probably the biggest example of something that bugs me that doesn't mean there's something wrong with a story. Nicknames are used all the time in fiction and in real life. I get that. I'm not saying that people who use them or horrible people or stupid or whatever. I just cannot stand nicknames with very, very few exceptions (Lily instead of Lillian and Alex instead of Alexander, for instance). Stories that outright say 'it was worth my life being destroyed because now I have a boyfriend/girlfriend!' Okay, it should be pretty clear by now that I'm hardly a romantic so maybe it's just that romantic sentiment is lost on me but...damn, that is shallow. Your rape/exile/death of everyone you know/various life-ruining scenarios is something that you feel was necessary and wouldn't change if you could because you found a love interest? A big strong man/hot chick is now more important than anything and everything else? I get that love makes you exhibit OCD-like symptoms at first but upon reading someone coming to this realization I really lose all respect for them. How CAN you respect such someone that shallow? It's not only fine but a good thing to try and salvage something good out of a bad situation but to decide that your love interest makes everything worth it? Are these people hormonal teenagers now or something? Stories with chapters that are less than, at the very least, 1.5K I know that, logically, there's no difference between a 10K story that's a one shot, a two-shot of 5K chapters, ten chapters of 1K each, or twenty chapters each with 500 words. That said, it just drives me crazy to have see the chapter size and the word count in thousands close to each other. Note: this does not apply to stories that are less than 1.5K total or stories that are more a series of vaguely related scenes or prompts than anything else. Since shorter chapters are just things that I personally don't like to read, though, and not a sign of a lack of quality I don't think that should I ever write shorter chapters that's hypocrisy on my part. I'm not judging shorter chapters or insisting that anything is wrong with them, it's just a - as the title of this list suggests - pet peeve of mine. Person A starts dating Person B and decides that they know what's best for them and start running their life It actually doesn't matter if it is what's best for them. What annoys me is when someone (usually the LI but not always) starts forcing a character to do something and they just go along with it. 'Oh, it's too dangerous for you to go alone so let's bring me and a dozen other people', 'Oh no, you're sick so you're going back to bed', 'Oh, you're upset so even though you have valid reasons for people not to know I'm here I'll just reveal myself so I can comfort you and ignore how freaked this will make you,' ect. If you're in a relationship with someone and concerned, express your concerns to them and try to convince them to change their mind. Do not start treating them like a disobedient child and take away their choices. It's far too controlling for my tastes. Stories with a 'forgotten' character It could be a 'forgotten' Marauder, a 'forgotten' Animorph, a 'forgotten' shinobi...I hate it when people add new characters to a story (in general, really, but this is worse) and claim that they're forgotten. Like the character is in the story and it all really happened...but for some reason no one ever mentioned them ever. People just didn't care or forgot. It's really, really stupid and seeing story summaries advertising 'Meet Mary Sue the forgotten _' annoys me to no end. If you're going to insert a new character, fine. Why make them 'forgotten'? If no one felt the need to talk about them before as they were 'forgotten' then guess what? It was probably for a reason. Namely: they just aren't as memorable and awesome as you think they are and maybe they should be left forgotten. Threesomes I know that the characters are all fine with being in such a relationship in these stories but I just don't like those kinds of stories. Maybe it's the growing up in a monogamous society thing again but it just really does not appeal to me in the slightest and not only are stories labelled as that generally ones I won't read but if it occurs without warning in a story then that actually runs a higher risk for me stopping reading the story. Significant Age Differences Between A Couple The younger the people are, the bigger a deal this is. For instance, a thirty-year-old with a forty-year-old probably wouldn't bother me at all but a sixteen-year-old with a twenty-one-year-old definitely would. I know these kinds of things happen in real life and I know many people are fine with it but, personally, reading about it weirds me out so I try to avoid it. (Oddly, Lupin/Tonks from Harry Potter has never weirded me out despite the thirteen year age difference. I have no idea why that would be an exception) Stories that have AU events that don't make sense If the premise of the story is that X happens instead of the Y that occurs in canon, I prefer it when the only changes that happen in the story are things that follow naturally. Say in the actual canon someone has a chance to get together with their LI early in the story but miss it and only end up with them at the very end. If the story has them take that chance then obviously there will be changes but if an alien invasion occurs that did not occur in the source material then it really should be caused by the couple getting together or any of the events that occured because of this change. If the point is to see how things would have changed if the couple got together then throwing in random changes might keep the story interesting but it's also very frustrating. It's no longer 'What if A and B got together earlier' but 'What if A and B got together earlier and there was an alien invasion and C's cat turns into a person who falls in love with D and...' On TVTropes there's something called 'For Want Of A Nail' where one small change has a ripple effect causing massive changes. It's one thing if something is an outright AU but if it is billed as a 'For Want Of A Nail' story where one thing changes, the fascinating thing is seeing how such a small event (like a couple getting together earlier) can change so many things. It can influence other relationships, plots being discovered, ect. but it's highly unlikely that it would lead to an alien invasion, especially if the author doesn't even bother trying to make it a consequence of the minor change. Overly depressing stories Don't get me wrong, I am just fine with angst. Iin fact, I'm rather found of it. I just prefer that stories end reasonably happily. There's no real reason for it; it's just what I prefer reading. If a story is finished and it looks iffy I might look to the end and see if it's sufficiently cheerful but there's not much you can do with an iffy in-progress story but hope for the best. Review Pet Peeves (Though please note I'm not telling you you CAN'T leave this kind of review because that would be stupid and it's not like I could stop you.) People telling me that just because I happen to read a story that uses one of my pet peeves or have written one myself I'm a hypocrite Seriously, what is with that? I've made it clear that none of the things on this list are a deal-breaker and most if not all of them don't necessarily make something a bad story. If I write a parody about one of them, that is certainly not hypocrisy and say I decide to write a story with general shorter chapters like with my prompt series. That ALSO doesn't make me a hypocrite because reading shorter stories wouldn't annoy me any less and I'm not telling anyone that they should write longer things to accomodate me. This is just really stupid of some people who overuse the word hypocrite. People telling me that I should change fandoms because they don't happen to follow it Okay, seriously. I switch fandoms, it happens. It's fine if someone wants to say that they wish I hadn't or mention that they don't follow my new one but please don't tell me to stop writing for my new one. Clearly, I'm happy with whichever fandom I'm focusing on right now and it's really not my problem if you're not familiar with it. Also, please stop reviewing stories for fandoms you know nothing about to say 'go back to X fandom.' It's very annoying. People telling me that my story was good but not as good as such-and-such story Unless I say something like 'my story is the best ever' or 'my story is better than such-and-such story' then why do people feel the need to correct misconceptions I wasn't aware that I even had? And unless fanfiction writing has suddenly turned into a contest I don't need to know that their story 'beat' mine. I mean, really, what possible purpose can be served by qualifying liking a story by saying it wasn't your favorite ever? Unless you specifically say that it was your favorite ever I'm not going to assume that it was. 'This chapter wasn't as good as...' Okay, so maybe in a ten chapter story, chapter ten wasn't as good as chapter nine which wasn't as good as chapter eight which wasn't as good as chapter seven which wasn't as good as chapter six which wasn't as good as chapter five which wasn't as good as chapter four which wasn't as good as chapter three which wasn't as good as chapter two which wasn't as good as chapter one. Do I need to hear about it every chapter? Really? Unless the chapters start sucking, it's fine if you like one better than the other without feeling the need to consistently let me know. Unless the point is to discourage me from updating it at all because you fear that at the rate of quality degradation soon the chapters will become too bad to force yourself to read, there's really no point in telling me this, particularly if that's all you say and you can't even be bothered to explain why you feel that way. Reviews or PMs that leave questions but no way to respond Okay, I'm going to assume that if someone asks a question then they want an answer. I would usually like to give an answer. If you leave an anonymous review without also leaving your email address or leave a signed review but have disabled your PMs and don't have an email address available then I can't do that. It's particularly annoying when I've put thought into the answer and really want to be able to answer it or someone wants my permission to do something with one of my stories. Newsflash: you're never going to get it if you do not give me a way to contact you! People who don't like stories and insist on mentioning it for every. single. story. If you don't like my style of writing, that's perfectly fair. Letting me know in a review or two? Also fair. Letting me know in 10-20 reviews in the time span of 3-4 hours? Really? If you haven't liked any of the first five, chances are you're not going to like any of the others so complaining about the EXACT SAME THING over and over again is just really annoying and not at all helpful. Reviews that mention they liked a story but it was nothing great Okay, you are free to form your own opinion and you may even be right. If you liked a story then why do you really feel the need to issue backhanded compliments like that? Seriously, it's just rude. Unless I am claiming that the story in question is truly spectacular then you can safely assume that I'm not arrogantly assuming it and thus do not need you to come along and humble me. Reviews for the last or near-last chapter that make it clear that they read the whole story and hated it Okay, if you want to waste several hours of your life reading something you can't stand, that's your business. You would think, by the time you got a few chapters in, that if it was an 'okay' story but my portrayal of the main character was the 'worst you've ever seen' and it 'failed as a humor story' which was the whole freaking point of the story then you'd realize that there wasn't anything left for you to like so you don't have to tell me all about how much you hate every aspect of it during one of the very last chapters that you apparently must have been a masochist to even read in the first place. Reviews telling me I don't like a character Seriously, it's ridiculous. Many of my stories are humor ones that involve one or more characters not being the most logical people in the world, yes. Just because I have one character (let's go with Hermione from Harry Potter) and explore why something they say/do/think is ridiculous (say, how Hermione goes about SPEW) does NOT mean I automatically don't like them and a review saying "You really don't like Hermione" is not appreciated and I think I'm a much better judge of which characters I do or do not like than you are. 'Correcting' things that were only revealed after something was written Some of the fandoms I've written for (such as Naruto) are still ongoing. If I write something one week and then a year later, it's revealed that this couldn't have happened because of some new information revealed then I will probably be aware of it. Just the same, as it was perfectly valid when it was written I don't really feel the need to go back and change it. I also don't see why people have to tell me why it's impossible based on this brand new information that no one knew when it was written. Is it just a matter of not checking the date and thinking that this was written since the reveal and therefore I'm not aware of the reveal? This is just like bashing Harry Potter stories written before six because Voldemort was killed without destroying any of the Horcruxes except the diary. I work with the canon that I have available and any subsequent revelations will only affect future stories as I see no reason to obsessively rewrite everything. People recommending something I've written on the Dark Lord Potter Forums I know that people can do what they want but whenever I realize that something new is up there I always give into the temptation to see what they have to say and it is always the same. The person who recommended the story said something positive about it followed by virtually anyone else who responds to it calling it a waste of time, unoriginal, uninspired, basically the same story over and over again, fill-in-your-own-insult. I know that people can say what they want but I never get feedback nearly as depressing as what the people there say and they never seem to like anything I do so it seems like a lose-lose situation. Reviews asking me to warn people about the bashing of a character I didn't end up bashing A lot of what I do are parodies. Sometimes they are parodies of the source material and sometimes they are parodies of common fanfic types. I'll give an example of what I mean. Say in the source material a character tries and fails to prevent another character from becoming a traitor. Say there are a lot of fanfics about the character succeeding and then promptly gets exiled for injuring the would-be traitor in the course of bringing them back (well, they're not coming back voluntarily...) and the girl the hero likes but who likes the almost-traitor rejects the hero because when she asked him to save the traitor she didn't mean that he should harm a hair on his head in the process. If I write a parody about the absurdity of the entire situation and the girl cheerfully rejects the hero because of this, that is not me bashing the character. I know that she would never do that in the source material and it is a parody about the situation. No one's really acting rationally or in-character in that situation but plenty of fanfics are written about it nonetheless. Reviews telling me a chapter is 'short.' I usually have an average length I try to make each chapter of a particular story. More often than not, that length is 3K. If I have a shorter chapter that comes in at, say, 2.5K then it would be a shorter chapter and if you absolutely must point this out then knock yourself out. If a chapter is, in fact, no shorter than the rest of the chapters then please refrain from suddenly deciding that it's short for whatever reason and letting me know this. Annoying reviews are infinitely less so when they happen to be accurate. Being told that I 'over-analyze' or 'suck the fun out of' things I don't think it's a secret that I like things to make sense. That said, I don't sit around trying to brainstorm ways in which a source material does NOT make sense. If I point out that it doesn't in some way in a story, it's just the result of it randomly occuring to me while I'm reading/watching and I don't see how something that I'm spending so little time on could POSSIBLY be over-analyzing. Maybe some of the things that occur to me aren't things that would occur to others but that doesn't mean I'm spending the time to over-analyze it, just that different things might occur to me than do other people. As for sucking the fun out of things...I do feel that my story summaries give a decent idea of what is going to be in the story. If you are going to read something that outright says it's going to take a more logical approach to a canonical situation and then decide that doing so is taking the fun out of things, it's not like you weren't warned. Being told about the "logic" of certain pairings I don't write about romance in general so I'm not sure why this keeps coming up. Still, I don't think that you can logic yourself into loving or not loving somebody and so giving me reasons why X/Y is more logical than X/Z isn't going to change X's feelings or make me like one pairing better than another. Logic can be used in whether or not a couple is functional or good for each other but not how they feel. It can be the most logical thing in the world for X and Y to love each other but if they don't then they don't and listing off a million reasons why they should won't change that. Harry Potter Fanfiction Pet Peeves Seeing as how there's more HP fics on this site than any other type by at least two times the second hightest one (whatever that is), I've read quite a bit of them, and found some things that tend to annoy me to no end. Harry/Hermione. I know a lot of people like it, but I can't for the life of me understand why. I think it's just the way it's usually portrayed. It's rather dull, generally, as there's no explosive tension like there is with Ron, Draco, Tom Riddle, even Snape...They just get along really, really well. With no issues whatsoever. And Muggle technology abounds. And Harry becomes a bookworm and the most powerful being ever who can kill Voldemort when he revives himself in the graveyard, Horcruxes be damned. I guess it's not surprising, though, as a lot of these fics usually hate Ron (poor Ron) and have him say something completely heartless and out of character and won't apologize because he's just apparently stupid like that and Harry and Hermione take to hanging out with Ginny and Neville, who eventually get together, and occasionally Ron gets held back a year and Ginny gets moved up a year. And Harry drops Divination for either Ancient Runes or Arithmancy. I am willing to be open-minded about this, though, when I find a well-written one. I am also willing to acknowledge that in real life they would be a very happy couple if they were interested in each other that way and that couples with a lot of conflict usually don't have a happy ending but this isn't real life and in stories I find all that bliss to be boring. Pairing people up for the sake of pairing people up I'll admit that I'm a Neville/Luna fan and one of the few bits of evidence from the books (because they're in it so little) for them is that out of the six people who go to the Ministry, Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione just leave those two, but in some cases, it goes too far. Such as, say, when in a Harry/Hermione fic Ginny and Neville decide they're madly in love for no real reason except Ginny needs to get over Harry so as not to cause any awkwardness. Same for fics deciding Ron wants to be overprotective about Ginny, going so far as to absolutely refusing to allow his best friend to date her, despite heavy hinting at the end of book five that he wants her to choose Harry, and Hermione and Neville get together. That's not to say I have a problem with unusual pairings, just the obessive need to make sure the story ends with all the main characters dating someone even when it doesn't necessarily make sense. Dumbledore/McGonagall In addition to the recent "Dumbledore is Gay" thing (which, I'll confess, I never saw coming. I just figured Harry wouldn't be privy to the Headmaster's love life if he even had one at that age...) I understand that they're both old. However, they are 44 years apart, and just because they're both old doesn't mean that there is no difference between someone who is in their seventies and someone who is well over a hundred. The General Portrayal of Peter Pettigrew in Maurader Fics In the Pensieve memory in book 5, granted, it has Pettigrew being a bit slow. (I mean, not knowing the signs of a werewolf? Come on!) Still, though, having Sirius constantly harass him just doesn't seem to be very realistic, considering that Sirius trusted Pettirgrew with the Potter's safety over Remus. Also, he can't possibly be obviously evil/ a death eater because he's not really a malicious person. Just a very weak one. Either way, at Hogwarts, under Dumbledore's protection, there's no way Voldemort could have gotten to him yet. Besides, what would be the point? He only ever learned anything once he joined the Order, after graduation. And then there are those fics that have Sirius, James, and Remus all being incredibly close, and Peter just being off on the sidelines. More of a casual acquaintance. Remember, regardless of how horrible his betrayal was, they put him in the position to do that because they trusted him and counted him among their closest friends. Fics written after the release of DH that have Lily-Snape animosity Snape loved Lily. The two of them were close friends up until that OWLs incident. That's just the way things are. I can't stand it when people have Lily only try to help him because she hates James. She'd probably stop any bullying she saw because she had a moral problem with it, even if she wasn't close to him. Additionally, I don't think Lily ever hated Snape, she just couldn't support his choices and so cut her ties. Still doesn't mean she'd support bullying him or pranking him. Soul Bonds I get that Ginny is Harry's "one true love" or whatever. So maybe, once they are old enough, it wouldn't be so bad. But really. Having a soul bond from, say, the Chamber of Secrets events is a bit...much. She's turning twelve, he's not even thirteen. They haven't really gone through puberty and there is no way that Harry or Ginny will be ready for this. They won't be able to have a crush on anyone else and when they are mad at each other it's painful? People always get mad at each other but that shouldn't make it physically painful. That's just not very practical. Plus, Ginny, at this point, is nothing special. She's just another first year who happened to be the daughter of a prominent Death Eater's political rival and therefore had a traumatizing first year. At this point she is still just another Harry Potter fangirl who Harry has reason to believe would join a Harry Potter fanclub. The only thing that would set her apart from every other Harry Potter fangirl out there (and there are plenty. Romilda Vane, anyone?) is the fact that Harry happened to ask her mother about the platform and her brother couldn't find another compartment. It has to wait until they are older and Ginny outgrows her hero worship. Time Travel Fic Romances Now, make no mistake, I am incredibly fond of Time Travel Fics. I love how Harry can have a much-improved schooling experience and the changes are always amusing. Few of the TTF writers seem very fond of Snape, though...Anyway: Unless the love interest also comes back, romances between Harry and, say, Ginny are a little...Odd. To say the least. I mean, he's thirty and she's ten and that has got to be some sort of pedophilia. And he starts treating her like she's the love of his life and not just another fangirl, which is what she is at this point. And even if she wasn't, she's barely into puberty and not exactly ready to be tied down to a commited relationship at the tender age of ten. Worst is when, because Harry is married when he goes back, that means Ginny is automatically married, too. At the age of, with luck, eleven. Seriously, I can't really believe that Wizards wouldn't have found a way to avoid being married without ever realizing it. Otherwise they could accidentally get married, then fall in love and try to get married and find they couldn't and it would just be a mess... Note: I have a time travel story where Harry is in his twenties and Ginny starts off as ten. Harry does miss his wife, yes, but that doesn't mean he's going to try and date a preteen as in his eyes she's still a child while he's an adult (mentally if not physically). Hopefully, this will be enough to assure the people who've read this and then get concerned about the potential pedophilia when they start reading "Oh God Not Again!" Blatant Over-the-top Character Bashing It's perfectly fine for a parody to go all out. For a character that Harry doesn't like it's acceptable, so long as it's not over-the-top. For instance, Ron might be immature, but then, he's eleven. It doesn't mean he never grows up and will continue to act like he's eleven all the way up until he's seventeen. He might have some jealousy issues, that doesn't mean he's a horrible person. Snape might be horrible to Harry, but Harry's horrible back and doesn't actually try in Potions. And engineered a potentially lethal potions accident so Hermione could steal from him in second year. Either way, if Snape were that obviously evil, Dumbledore would have noticed it. Dumbledore may be old and doesn't like to tell anyone anything if he can help it, but he obviously cares about Harry. When Dumbledore learned how Voldemort came back, he knows Harry won't have to stay dead and he tries to help people by manipulating them, not just because he gets a kick out of it. And he's NOT unreasonable. If Harry can give him a better option, he'll take it. Harry goint to an alternate dimension and having a little sister The problem with this is that, yes, Harry's sister will have known him her entire life, but he will probably be very different, considering the vastly different upbringing. Also, he wouldn't act as overprotective as Ron towards his sister he barely knows and, say, punch out a guy she's dating who he doesn't approve of. Also, he needs time to get to know her, not just automatically accept that they are related and act like they grew up together. Lily and James reading the Harry Potter books and Lily deciding to go out with him because they apparently have a son together. Yeah. She really does. She doesn't even seem to suspect that James is just trying to get her to go out with him or it could have been from an alternate dimension, or anything. She thinks that since they have a son (who they both are completely enamored with and act like parents who have known him his entire life instead of complete strangers), they must be destined for each other. Oh, and they all spend book three dumping on Sirius for supposedly betraying them, and then turn around and forgive Peter when it turns out it was him because by then Sirius has gotten through to them that they can't blame him for something that never happened. Did I mention the Unbreakable Vow Peter usually ends up taking to not betray them which would mean that the events in Harry Potter never happened and so therefore are not any indication of the future and why does Lily just jump at the chance to date James? Anything involving reading Parseltongue Okay, snakes don't have a written language. Snakes don't have any limbs. It's not possible for them to have a written language. It is not possible to have written Parseltongue. It just isn't. Also, if a language is written down then why wouldn't other people be able to at least read and write it even if they can't speak or understand it? Just...the whole idea of written snake language is so very absurd. Harry's scar disappearing when Voldemort dies Yes, I know it's a magical scar. I know it's a Horcrux. I still really hate the idea. It's a scar. It's can fade over time - or if it's no longer a Horcrux - and be less noticeable but to disappear entirely? It just seems really unrealistic and very annoying. What's the point of Harry's scar disappearing anyway? It's no longer at all harmful. Do people think he looks better without it? Is it a futile attempt to let him be less recongizable? Once he kills Voldemort that's kind of a lost cause. Stories that say Sirius is in Azkaban for betraying the Potters and gets cleared by proving Pettigrew was the Secret-Keeper I've seen it done time after time after time. "Oh, Sirius betrayed the Potters and so now he's in Azkaban." No. Sirius supposedly killed Pettigrew and twelve muggles. In fact, don't just take my word for it. Here's an actual quote from the actual book where Fudge is explaining about the Fidelius Charm. "Not many people are aware that the Potters knew You-Know-Who was after them. Dumbledore, who was of course working tirelessly against You-Know-Who, had a number of useful spies. One of them tipped him off, and he alerted James and Lily at once. He advised them to go into hiding. Well, of course, You-Know-Who wasn't an easy person to hide from. Dumbledore told them that their best chance was the Fidelius Charm." Then, since it's an obscure and complex bit of magic that practically nobody has heard of, he goes on to explain it. If people could prove that Pettigrew was really the secret-keeper then maybe people would stop viewing him as a hero but that wouldn't free Sirius since he'd still have supposedly killed Pettigrew (if that hadn't been revealed yet) and the twelve muggles. Ginny being declared to look just like Lily I know that there are a lot of people out there who don't like Harry/Ginny and that it's canon. If Ginny were to look freakishly like Lily then that might make it weird for Harry to date her. Of course, since he doesn't even remember her I would call it a coincidence if that were the case but it's not. Why are Ginny and Lily assumed to look like twins anyway? Lily is described as having dark red hair and Harry's green eyes. Ginny has flaming red hair and brown eyes. So basically...they're both women with red hair, albeit different shades. If that was how similar that someone had to look to someone else's parent in order to make it weird for them to date then there would be a lot more single people in this world as most of the world has dark hair. If Harry isn't to end up with Ginny then he isn't to end up with Ginny but surely there are better reasons for this than the fact that Ginny looks as much like Lily as Harry does Hermione. Veronica Mars Fanfiction Pet Peeves Lilly alive but not friends with Veronica If Veronica could be friends with Lilly for years and years without realizing that Lilly was a horrible person, chances are, she's not a horrible person. Just probably a nymphomaniac. Veronica wouldn't turn her back on Lilly just because she was sleeping with Aaron, although they would definitely have a huge fight. Logan and Veronica are secretly in love with each other, not the Kanes Pre-outcast Veronica was perfect for Duncan and probably would have annoyed Logan as a girlfriend. Besides, if they were both madly in love with each other, why didn't they go after each other...before the Kanes did? And didn't Celeste only tell Duncan about the possible incest when it looked like they were getting serious? Why would it have appeared like that unless they really liked each other? And why would Logan let Lilly keep making a fool of him unless he loved her? Caitlin Ford cheated on him once and she was immediately and unceremoniously dumped, so he can't just not mind it. Piz and Veronica That's actually a bit harder to justify, since technically it's canon, but...They weren't planning on ending it after Season 3! Those two aren't ACTUALLY supposed to be together, just another thing to keep Logan and Veronica apart for a bit. I mean, he's too naive for her. Can anyone really see Veronica dating a guy who leaves his car with all his worldly belonings unattended and, what's more, actually hands it over to the "Welcome Committee" that no one else has ever heard of without a second thought? Me either. Logan defending Veronica after Lilly's death and becoming an outcast himself Considering that he was the one who turned the school against her (with Duncan just flat-out ignoring her, which was more because they were exes than anything else), he probably could have lessened the ostracizing if not outright stopped it. And I think he really only turned the 09ers against her, the rest of the school mostly just went after her because the 09ers dumped on everybody and she was one of them who had suddenly fallen from grace and who the others wouldn't defend and so the rest of the school could feel like they were getting back at all of them but attacking her. That's just my interpretation, but I can't imagine why the rest of the school would be that upset about Veronica siding with her dad over the 09ers as she wasn't "betraying" THEM. Naruto Fanfiction Peeves Hinata likes Naruto who is oblivious until he sees her naked one night but doesn't see the face and tells everyone (including her) how hot the girl is Honestly, it's just ridiculous. Naruto is oblivious granted, but just because Hinata is the first naked girl he sees (and why does Hinata keep getting caught naked? The girl's a ninja with super-eyes! And what's with the training naked anyway?) doesn't mean that he's automatically going to be in love with her and since he never appears to make the connection, it just comes off as a cheap gimmick. And no one ever believes Naruto because he hits his head or she disappears or something of that sort. Besides, usually this happens before the timeskip so they're twelve! Has Hinata even hit puberty by that point as Naruto's so overwhelmed by her? And if it really takes Naruto seeing a girl naked to realize that it's 'twu wuv' than that really hurts both his character and hers by making him shallow and basically objectifying her. I realize that this was part of the anime but it's just filler and as filler has brought us such gems as Tsunade charging her gambling debts to Konoha's personal account and Team 8 finding a brilliant way to track down Sasuke but Naruto ruins it because he farted and the bug imprinted on that scent instead of Sasuke's, I feel that the less said about filler, the better. Sakura, for whatever reason, taking training more seriously and becoming more powerful but STILL tying with Ino in the prelims If Ino isn't getting any stronger than she was normally and Sakura is, how does it make any sort of sense for them to be perfectly evenly matched? I know it's better for their relationship if they tie, but still, it just seems like a cop-out. Everyone blames and hates on Sasuke for being revenge-obsessed without attempting to help Seriously. His beloved older brother just brutally murders almost everyone he knows, tells him he's pathetic, tells him to seek revenge, and then tortures him with 72-hours of nonstop carnage. This is an eight-year-old kid all on his own with nothing else to do, really. Yeah he makes some really stupid choices and is really obsessive, but if no one is around to offer any sort of guidance and just expects him to 'get over it'...that's just not going to realistically happen, is it? Of course, if people do consistently try to get through to him and he wants nothing to do with it, that's another story... Naruto brings Sasuke back after the Valley of the End and gets exiled for nearly killing him Sasuke was trying to defect from the village! To go to Orochimaru! Who just killed the Third! I get that most people had massive Uchiha-love, but the council (who would, I suppose, be responsible for such matters) were all fully aware of what pricks they all were and knew all about the whole attempted coup! Additionally, why on Earth would they banish their resident jinchuuriki (who, as the nine-tails, was technically the strongest) so not only would he not be protecting them but he might even turn against them? Naruto leaving and Hinata being reduced to even more pathetic than her first appearance Okay, so Naruto helps Hinata regain her confidence and she gets stronger, got it. However, having Hinata be so obsessed with Naruto that she becomes embarrasingly timid and weak is just...gah! Show some backbone! You can't base your entire self-worth and abilities on whether one rather oblivious boy likes you or not! If you do, you really don't deserve him as he can get along just fine without you and you apparently can't manage to function without him. Pro-Itachi stories that villainize Sasuke for hating him Don't get me wrong: I love Itachi, I really do. Sasuke, however, has plenty of reasosn not to. Especially because he's never seen any of the extenuating circumstances, tragic backstory, his moments of kindness/politness to the other characters...when Sasuke's around, Itachi immediately starts acting like a sociopath. And that's the POINT. Itachi really goes out of his way time and time again to ensure that Sasuke hates him so that Sasuke won't: a) become too emo to live b) realize what really happened and hate on Konoha and c) have to live with the consequences of the attempted coup and can be a hero. What that the best plan? Maybe, maybe not. Did it help to make Sasuke really unbalanced and lead him to become seemingly incapable of making rational decisions? Yes. Sasuke shouldn't get a free pass for all of his idiocy starting with his defection by any means, but any character who knows the truth of what happens hating on Sasuke because he doesn't know is kind of missing the point. Itachi has proven that he would literally rather die than have Sasuke find out the truth and if someone (especially someone you trusted) just murdered your entire, huge family when you were a child and then hospitalized you, it's not unreasonable to not start looking for a way for him to be a good guy. Even if he totally is. Characters becoming ANBU I understand just how important it is for a village to have ANBU and that they are an elite group and so joining is a mark of strength. Just the same, I rather think that actually being an ANBU would be awful. Think about it: you're not allowed to even really tell people that you're in ANBU and you have to perform all sorts of horrendous and especially traumatizing missions that other ninja don't like assassination and torture. Again, yes these people are necessary but I really don't want to see beloved characters have to go through that sort of hell. Joining ANBU is really not a good thing. Remember, ROOT is a branch of ANBU. A really over-the-top extreme branch, true, but still part of it. Joining is choosing to purposefully screw yourself up far more than the average ninja has to go through. It's a horrible job but somebody has to do it and some feel it is a duty of theirs but for it to actually be seen as a good thing? Not so much. Dragon Age Fafiction Pet Peeves The Mistress Ending I am well aware that Dragon Age is based off of the medieval period. I can also appreciate that back then mistresses were considered pretty par for the course for the nobility and royalty. I also know that today, at least in my culture, the very concept of a mistress has all sorts of negative connotations. I tend to feel that the Hero of Ferelden (particularly if they are a noble themselves) is above being Alistair's dirty little secret. I simply cannot get into the proper mindset. I KNOW he loves his mistress but I also know that sometimes that just isn't good enough. Giving Up Your Titles Duncan says at some point that becoming a Grey Warden means that you give up all claim to your past. Everyone assumes this means that Grey Wardens are not legally allowed to hold titles. I'm not convinced that this is the case or that it is actaully enforced by anyone but the Wardens. I mean, it certainly doesn't seem to hurt Alistair's chance of being King, you can become Queen/King, you can become the Teyrn/Teyrna of Gwaren, you ARE Arl/Arlessa...and even the Grey Wardens in the Anderfels aren't against you having titles and are really pulling for you as they want the WC in other countries to have titles. And why wouldn't you be allowed to have a title? Because you kill darkspawn? It's not like anyone even knows about the blood magic ritual that might make them a bit uncertain. Yes, Grey Wardens on the whole are supposed to be a neutral organization but that doesn't mean individual Wardens are. Dying to Avoid Cheating There are many reasons to avoid the Dark Ritual. Not trusting Morrigan, feeling the God Baby will be more of a threat than the Archdemon, not being able to deal with blood magic...your love interest is not a reason. Say you are romancing Leliana or Zevran and do not want to cheat on them with Morrigan and so die instead. Leliana either commits suicide or returns to Orlais and you know what that means. Zevran is incredibly broken as well and ends up leading the Crows but never loving again. Does that really sound like they appreciate you staying true to them? You can't even talk to them about it and see if they'd rather you die than spend a night with Morrigan? If they do, of course, I'm not entirely sure that's a healthy kind of love. And then there's if you're a female Warden romancing Alistair. If you turn down the ritual because you can't bear to think of another woman touching him for one night to save your life...how freaking selfish can you get? You know he loves you and your death will destroy him and Morrigan outright tells you he'll die in place of you. You would put him through that and honestly claim to love him out of petty jealousy? Turn down the ritual if you must be do not claim you're doing it for the one you love. DN: Romancing Gorim, romancing another party member, then getting angry when he gets married If you're going to stay single and try to find him in Denerim then you can feel free to be upset. If, however, you're already happily romancing Alistair then you've just become the pot. He didn't wait and that is upsetting but neither did you. Say he had stayed single and wanted to resume your relationship. Would you dump Alistair for him? If yes, you were just toying with him. If no, then you've moved on too and you don't get to play the victim. DN: Romancing Gorim, letting Alistair get you over him very quickly, and then pining for Alistair forever when he dumps you/dies Okay, you can either be the kind of person to pine or you can be the kind of person that doesn't. Assuming you loved both characters then being upset for all of five minutes about Gorim's marriage and then realizing how awesome and handsome and funny and charming Alistair is and moving on is, well, kind of quick and makes your feelings for Gorim seem a little shallow. Then if your relationship with Alistair ends because he's King/dead and you spend years pining after him to the point that if he wants to resume your relationship years later you're still passionately in love with him...it dos not follow. This is really the same if you're a DE and loved Tamlen, a mage who loved Jowan/Cullen, ect. At some point you're either a piner or you aren't. Female PC Romancing Alistair is dumped because he's King and/or Loghain was spared and then years later they meet up and are still passionately in love Okay, seriously. I get that it's supposed to be romantic and that they are soul mates or whatever but...years upon end? Sooner or later you need to get over each other or you're just going to be miserable forever. It's not healthy to pine for, say, five years and not get over it in the slightest and so immediately want to jump each other when they see each other again. That's obsessive and you need help not to get back together with them! In real life, you know you'd need a lot of therapy if you were still that unable to move on after five years. Why is that any different in fiction? HNF doesn't make herself Queen at Landsmeet, is dumped, and years later Alistair makes her Queen This is especially awful if there no conveniently dead mother-of-Alistair's-child. If Alistair dumps her because he needs an heir and she can't give him one then it's not because he loves her any less. If a few years pass and he realizes that 'OMG I love her so much that I need her as my wife!' then the heir situation is not cleared up and marrying her is just as bad idea it is now as it was a few years ago. And if they haven't seen each other why are they so passionately in love after all this time? Saintly Wardens Maybe I could buy a Cousland being so perfectly sweet, innocent, loveable, the epitome of goodness...but some of the others? If they were that nice then not only do I highly doubt they could have been raised in their environment but how on earth did they survive long enough for Duncan to come across them? To each their own but it just doesn't ring true to me. Also, by 'Saintly' I mean characters that never do anything really questionable (bar the Loghain and Dark Ritual decision), are all sweetness and light, everyone loves them...I've had people think their Wardens fall into this who really don't even vaguely resemble it. Basically, if your Warden has sociopathic tendencies, stabbed someone and faked their death 'for their own good', ect. then I think it's safe to say that you do not qualify. Aeducan/Alistair Don't get me wrong, the DN is my favorite origin I just really, really hate the pairing. With a passion. Sure 'the exiled princess and the bastard prince' has a nice ring to it but...I can't stand it. Maybe it has something to do with my love of DN's-returning-to-Orzammar and the Alistair romance really gets in the way of that? Of course, these princesses often seem to hate Orzammar as it is, so I guess they don't really see it as a sacrifice but...DO NOT WANT. It's really a shame that so many of the few Aeducan stories involve this pairing so I'll have to put up with it if I want to read anything about a DN at all...or I could just keep writing non-romantic DN stories of my own. :P The Warden deciding to spare Loghain and then changing their mind once Alistair objects I know Alistair hates Loghain. I get it. I know he has reasons and that you can have reasons as well. I also feel it's unfair to blame everything that went wrong in the entire disaster that was Ostagar on him and that much of Alistair's issues concerning that are survivor's guilt. That said, there is the outlawing GW, making them scapegoats (although to be fair, he doesn't know that you didn't deliberately light the beacon late because you're Orlesian spies), poisoning the Arl, sending assassins after you, just generally inconveniencing you as you try to stop the Blight...all of which are very good reasons to hate him. Still, if you're like 'I can look past it and want to make Loghain a Warden' and Alistair responds with his 'But he's evil, remember? KILL HIM ALREADY!' and you do then that really bothers me. It's one thing if you get caught up in the 'I spare people' thing and honestly forgot what he's done but if you yourself would have spared him had Alistair not let you know that he was against it and you kill him because Alistair's after his blood? Killing a man who has surrendered to appease a party member just seems really, really petty. Default Names I know that it's easier to use than making up your own, you might like the name, and it ensures that everyone instantly knows who you're talking about but I just really can't stand seeing them used. I especially hate the HNF default 'Elissa' and as that's the most common default name I've seen used in fanfiction here (it's EVERYWHERE) it can get really old, really fast. There's nothing wrong with using them, of course, it just happens to drive me crazy just like whenever the Warden has a non-default name I don't like. Dying because you were dumped I'm really not trying to trivialize how upset the Warden romancing and dumped by King Alistair would be. I think choosing not to do the dark ritual and to do the ultimate sacrifice merely because you can't go on any longer as a poor, single person is kind of pathetic. Real people handle worse every day and there's nothing noble about 'sacrificing yourself to save everyone' if you're doing it because your in the middle of some godawful teenage angst. The general hatred and lack of sympathy for Goldanna Okay, I know that Alistair is a very popular character. I know that Goldanna makes him sad. But all this Goldanna hate is ridiculous. People get upset at Goldanna just for not immediately believing some random stranger who claims they are related. And then there's the fact that you're not even trying to understand Goldanna's position at all. Yes, Alistair had a lonely life and just wants a family but Goldanna doesn't know any of that. She specificially says that Maric forced himself on her mother and, regardless of what actually happened, that is clearly what she believed. She was a child with no father to speak of and now no mother. She believes the cause of death was childbirth. Yeah, she's blaming the wrong person here but it's understandable that she'd displace the blame. Then there's the fact that she was run out of Redcliffe with just one soveregin (at best, since they just say coin) and has no family, no job, nowhere to live...she's just a child so what, exactly, is she supposed to do? She eventually makes do but she would have been poor and poverty-stricken all her life, left on her far too young...what was Alistair's childhood like? He didn't live like a Prince (which she doesn't know, again) but has he ever gone hungry? Has he ever had no place to go, no idea of how to make ends meet? No. Eamon didn't treat him the best but he did take him even and even when he ditched Alistair he was taken to the Chantry and his needs were taken care of. If Goldanna has spent years blaming Alistair for the loss of her mother (her mother that she can actually remember which is worse than just 'oh, I had a mother and she died') and what she sees at the ruin of her life and she's to blame because Alistair's insecure and has an overly idealistic view that family automatically equals unconditional acceptance? It was a bad first meeting but Alistair gives up far too soon. Don't give her money or have him promise to take care of her and he calls her a shrew outside and clearly has no intention of seeing her again. She's despreately poor, may or may not have a second husband we know nothing about, has five children to support, a crap job...is it so surprising that she's bitter? And then if the Warden has the gall to say something like 'Oh, if not for me and Alistair you'd be dead so you owe us your life'? Goldanna doesn't know that AListair is even a Warden but even if she did this is before he becomes King/stops the Blight so what has he done to save her? Absolutely nothing. Had this taken place after the Blight had ended you could argue that. Alistair and the Warden have done nothing to save her no matter how many treaties you've fulfilled as the darkspawn haven't even reached Denerim and so they haven't found themselves in need of saving. And how is a non-Warden like Goldanna supposed to realize that GWs are the only ones who can stop the Blight when when it's such a big secret and even Alistair who was a Warden for six months didn't know? Many people think that Wardens being mandatory is an exaggeration and they just happen to be the best at killing darkspawn. Her not immediatley rushing to take Alistair into her arms and take away all his pain and insecurity hardly makes her a bad person or a bitch. He had unrealistic expectations and gave up too soon for anyone to believe he was making an honest effort. He's just 'so, I'm here, I'm your brother, love me!' and when she's all 'why should I?' he dismisses her as a waste of his time. Contrived Reasons to Stay with the Wardens If you want your Warden to stay on as an active Grey Warden then that's fine but please don't give a hand-waved explanation as to why. 'Oh, my Dalish clan technically exiled me because otherwise I would die' is not a real reason. They did it to save your life and would gladly accept you back. 'Oh, I'm a dwarf that has been to the Surface and was exiled so I can never go back' isn't one either. Your exile was cancelled and you're a hero and soon-to-be Paragon so of COURSE you can come back. 'Once you become a Grey Warden, you have no choice but to stay one forever' is also not a reason since Alistair feels free to leave the order to become a King or a wandering drunk, Anders leaves either to teach at the Tower or just in general (although for the second one he is caught by the Templars so for a mage I can understand their need to stay with the Wardens even if they don't like them), Nathaniel can decide it's 'not for him' and leave for parts unknown, Sigrun can go back to being a member of the Legion of the Dead, Velanna can go off wandering somewhere. If the Warden is a mage worried about Templars that's one thing (although I'm not sure the Hero of Ferelden has much to worry about) and if they're not then they can feel that they've changed too much to fit in back home or simply don't want to return but it is a choice and not a matter of not being able to. Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic Pet Peeves Light Side PCs refusing to acknowledge that they're Revan I know that in the game once you find out who you are everyone basically treats the identity of Revan to mean the PC being a Sith but that's simply not true. Whether you have your memories or not, you ARE Revan and reading 'I'm not Revan anymore. I am whatever-name-the-Jedi-happened-to-pick' is incredibly annoying. It's like Revan has decided to reject her entire identity just because she happened to be a Sith for a few years when she was so much more than that. Whatever-name-the-Jedi-happened-to-pick doesn't exist. Revan does and she needs to come to terms with it. "I'm not Revan anymore"? Yes, yes you are and you can't change that. The Top Eleven Things Everyone Should Know About Twilight (which given that other people have put it on their profiles I should probably mention was something I came up with) 1. Werewolves are only immortal as long as they want to be. Yeah. Kind of strange. Apparently it has to do with how often they choose to become wolves. Of course, these are quite strange werewolves who don’t follow the moon. 2. Vampires sparkle in the sun. Really. And no one ever laughs at them when they do this. Then again, they only ever show this to lovestruck teenage girls. 3. In a werewolf/vampire/human threesome, the human has to be in the middle so the freezing vampire and burning werewolf balance each other out. Or something like that. 4. It is not at all creepy to make an unborn baby your soulmate nor is it creepy to raise your soulmate from infancy as its father/brother and then become its lover. 5. Author Stephenie Meyer is apparently a big supporter of the rights of demon babies. 6. Wanting to literally eat your girlfriend is romantic, not deeply disturbing. 7. Jeopardizing a fragile treaty between two very dangerous, deadly groups because you can’t control your hormones is endearing, not painfully stupid. 8. When you’re friends with vampires and werewolves, you no longer are required to care about your human friends and family. 9. . When a guy you have been dating for a few months abruptly leaves and never plans on coming back and you take to cliff diving to hear his voice, you are in no way crazy nor should you look into therapy. 10. You should never, ever let Bella and Edward name anything. Ever. 11. TELLING a group of vampires that want to kill your baby that she is half human will do nothing. Finding someone who claims that they are half-human solves everything. They’ll even kill that vampire that’s out to get you for you. | |||||||
1. All Too Well » reviewsA twist of fate as Marius is slowly making it clear to Valjean that he would like it if his convict father-in-law stayed away makes him realize that something about his image of Valjean the murdering thief isn't quite right and causes him to take a second look at his actions and once more go searching for the truth.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,284 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 5-9-13 - Published: 4-15-13 - Valjean & Cosette - Complete2. Madeleine's Intervention reviewsOn her way to rock bottom, Fantine goes out one night and happens upon Madeleine giving alms to the poor. The sight of him trying to help people when he had ruined her life is too much for her and she starts laughing wildly, attracting his attention. Now that his sights have been set on her, Madeleine isn't about to stop until he can do something for her.Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,103 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 5-7-13 - Valjean & Fantine - Complete3. Good People reviewsThe people of Montfermeil are not blind and see their little lark struggling every day. At first, they may have been shocked but over time they've come to appreciate just what good and kind people the Thenardiers truly are for this.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,264 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-30-13 - Cosette & Mme Thenardier - Complete4. Aftermath of the Surprise reviewsAfter they are done laughing about the surprise, Fantine goes home to face heartbreak while Favourite finds herself happier than she's been in two years and seeks out her adoring artist friend, Blachevelle already forgotten.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,950 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-28-13 - Fantine & Felix Tholomyés - Complete5. Providence reviewsWhen Valjean came to Montreuil, it was a cold night but he raced through flames to save two trapped children. Their grateful father, the captain of the gendarmerie, conveniently forgets to check his papers as a result. It would seem that luck is, for once, on Valjean's side.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,818 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-27-13 - Valjean - Complete6. A Valiant Effort » reviewsValjean overcame some truly incredible odds to arrive at Arras in time to exonerate Champmathieu but sometimes people would rather just accept a convenient fiction instead of an awkward reality. Well, he tried. AU.Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 52,258 - Reviews: 116 - Updated: 4-24-13 - Published: 12-26-12 - Valjean & Javert7. Once More the Conquered reviewsWhen Valjean flees from the bishop's house with his stolen silver, he quickly runs into the gendarmes. They will not take him back to the bishop to be accused of being a thief in the middle of the night and so Valjean passes a long, painful night in jail waiting to be returned to the bishop and condemned back to Toulon.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,146 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 4-14-13 - Valjean & M. Myriel - Complete8. One Flash of Light reviewsValjean is slowly losing himself to the shadows of Toulon when one day the light of word of his sister envelops him and gives him something close to hope. Suddenly the year left on his sentence becomes an eternity. What else could he do but run?Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,077 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-10-13 - Valjean - Complete9. The Heroism of Madame Magloire reviewsWhen Madame Magloire is tasked with bringing a deerskin to the fearsome man the bishop invited to stay the night, she finds herself forced to see past the convenient convict label and form an opinion on the man himself.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,412 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-6-13 - Valjean & M. Myriel - Complete10. How I Choose to Remember reviewsAfter the Revolution of 1848, everyone is suddenly very eager to hear all about the attempted revolutions that came before. Marius was at one such revolution and people beg him to tell his story. They don't appear to be willing to leave him alone without giving them something, so he shall simply have to find something to tell them. It will even be the truth or something like it.Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,440 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3-9-13 - Marius & Valjean - Complete11. The Attempted Confrontation reviewsValjean and Javert have their epic confrontation...or at least try to. Things would probably go smoother if they stopped talking over each other and nitpicking everything the other says.Les Misérables - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,147 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 2-24-13 - Inspector Javert & Jean Valjean - Complete12. Such a Sweet Girl reviewsCosette has a dark secret and Éponine is determined to make Valjean see it. Cosette is just as determined to stop such a thing from happening.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,274 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 2-22-13 - Cosette & Valjean - Complete13. It's a Wonderfu Life, Javert reviewsDriven to the Seine by Valjean's blatant refusal to make sense, Javert is stopped at the last second by someone else jumping in and automatically moving to save him. He says his name is Clarence and he's here to show Javert just how much the people he's met need him. Javert is decidedly non-impressed. What business is it of his if everyone around him wants to ruin their own lives?Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,082 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 2-16-13 - Javert & Valjean - Complete14. The Javert reviewsValjean is about to chop down a Truffula tree when a loud voice stops him and explains that, even though it is useless since people never change, he needs to stop because he will destroy everything. Valjean promptly reworks his business practices so as to not destroy the environment but will the guardian of the forest ever believe it? Doubtful. AU.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,062 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 2-10-13 - Valjean & Javert - Complete15. One of Those Faces » reviewsValjean does not manage to escape before Javert gets a good look at him during The Robbery...and yet the other man completely fails to recognize him. Again. Now Javert has met Monsieur Fauchelevent, Valjean is pressing charges against his attackers, and Marius manages to meet Cosette before following her home. AU.Les Misérables - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,123 - Reviews: 6 - Updated: 2-10-13 - Published: 2-2-13 - Jean Valjean16. Prevention reviewsThe how wasn't important, just the why. And since Javert had managed to end up back in 1795, he knew that there was only one thing to do: stop Valjean from causing him no end of problems by preventing him from being a criminal in the first place.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,300 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 2-9-13 - Javert & Valjean - Complete17. Post-Wedding Fun reviewsMarius completely misunderstands when his father-in-law takes him aside right before he goes off on his honeymoon to tell him of his secret past. Though, to be fair, how ELSE could he possibly take being told that his father-in-law had spent nineteen years in prison than as a threat if he hurt Cosette? Modern AU.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,484 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 2-8-13 - Marius & Valjean - Complete18. Poster Boy reviewsValjean knows that he must confess the truth of his past to his new son-in-law and he thought he had prepared himself for all possible reactions. He was mistaken, however. Enthusiastic condemnations of the old regime and praise for his 'revolutionary spirit' were not something he knew what to do with. Crack pairing, AU.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,233 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 2-4-13 - Valjean & Enjolras - Complete19. A New Path reviewsAfter Montparnasse completely fails to rob Valjean, he is left with a lot to think about. The fact that continuing to be a criminal might lead to him going to prison which would destroy his looks, for example. Some things in life just can't be endured. Fortunately, he has an estranged friend who he's sure won't mind talking this through in the middle of the night.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,337 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 2-2-13 - Feuilly & Montparnasse - Complete20. Les Something » reviewsLife in post-Napoleon France can be short and brutal with tragic endings almost inevitable. Of course, just because everyone's going down in flames doesn't mean that they can't occasionally escape from the world of rationality and misery and see where they end up. They might be just as dead at the end but they'll have had a far more entertaining fall. Les Misérables parody.Les Misérables - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 29,656 - Reviews: 48 - Updated: 1-30-13 - Published: 12-12-12 - Jean Valjean & Marius Pontmercy - Complete21. Datapad Diaries » reviewsIf Shepard had to pick, she'd probably lean more towards the Paragon side and she's working towards gaining enthusiasm for being humanity's (and then the universe's) big hope. Still, a paragon has never been a saint and there are some things that must never ever seen the light of day. Ever. Well, maybe if she lives long enough and someone offers her a book deal. But not until then.Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 67,073 - Reviews: 61 - Updated: 1-26-13 - Published: 10-6-12 - Shepard (F) - Complete22. That's Not Right reviewsWhen Éponine and Enjolras come to call one day, holding hands, Marius doesn't know if he's more unsettled by the fact that he knows for a fact that they're dead or that they seem to be romantically involved. He will either get to the bottom of this or...well, be rather confused by the whole thing.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,265 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 1-26-13 - Marius & Eponine - Complete23. We're All Adults Here reviewsWhen faced with the prospect of being parted forever when Valjean takes Cosette to England, she and Marius realize that they have nothing left to lose and decide to do the unthinkable: actually tell Valjean about their love and hope that he will be kind and allow them to stay together. After all, it's not like he isn't *already* going to forcibly part them.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,271 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 1-19-13 - Valjean & Cosette - Complete24. Fate Intervenes reviewsA chance encounter in the Luxembourg causes Marius to realize that, once again, he's doing everything all wrong. It's only fair that Javert gets to ruin one of Valjean's plans for once. AU.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,191 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 1-18-13 - Marius & Javert - Complete25. The Sherlock Problem reviewsEveryone knows that John Watson is a good doctor and enjoy having him around at the clinic. The only thing stopping him from being a truly great one is his odd tendency to run out of there at odd hours muttering something about Sherlock. Some of his coworkers try to figure out just what a 'Sherlock' is and if they need to call someone about it. Really, they're just concerned.Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,224 - Reviews: 41 - Published: 1-15-13 - John W. & Sherlock H. - Complete26. Over It reviewsMuch to Valjean's relief, annoyance, and pretty much every other emotion he had, Marius and Cosette decide that they do not wish to get married after all. Valjean could live with keeping his daughter around a little longer. He just wished that they had come to that conclusion BEFORE he had been forced to become an insurgent and navigate the sewers to bring him home to her. AU.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,052 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-12-13 - Valjean & Cosette - Complete27. Whatever Works reviewsWhen Valjean watches Javert plunge into the water right in front of him, he knows that there's only one possible way he can get away with saving Javert without the other man immediately attempting to jump again. 1998 movie-based.Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,266 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 1-7-13 - Valjean & Javert - Complete28. Friends Like These reviewsHaving survived their revolution, Courfeyrac sets out to do all he can to enrich the lives of those around him whether they appreciate his efforts or not. Thankfully, Marius seems to be grateful as he needs more help than most. AU.Les Miserables - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,533 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-5-13 - Courfeyrac & Marius - Complete29. Flawed Premise reviewsOne day, John comes home to find something that looks suspiciously like Sherlock watching Christmas specials. He doesn't quite know what's going on but he will get to the bottom of this. Or at least take a truly dizzying amount of photos for his blog.Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,212 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 12-23-12 - John W. & Sherlock H. - Complete30. Not Optimal » reviewsOf all the people who could be given an early intervention, Tom Riddle would probably be the most beneficial and the most difficult. The wizarding world was a powder keg that might just explode anyway but at least there would be no Voldemort to deal with. It may be Christmas but the three spirits will *need* a miracle to pull this one off.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,683 - Reviews: 138 - Updated: 12-23-12 - Published: 12-2-12 - Tom R. Jr. - Complete31. If We Must » reviewsEbenezer Scrooge absolutely must be redeemed, everyone agrees on that. He needs it and so does everyone around him no matter *how* reluctant he may be about it. It's a good thing they're not giving him a choice in the matter and have a grisly fate to hold over his head but even so these spirits will need the patience of saints to try to get through to him.A Christmas Carol - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,982 - Reviews: 63 - Updated: 12-21-12 - Published: 12-1-12 - Ebenezer Scrooge - Complete32. Beginnings reviewsAfter weeks of uncertainty regarding her place in things, James tries to get Elena to play a more active role in the fight.Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,951 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 12-6-12 - Auxiliary Animorphs - Complete33. Body Snatching Blues reviewsAfter watching "Invasion of the Body Snatchers", Jake and Marco can't help but equate it to their lives. And Marco has to complain about all the plot holes and studio changes, of course, while Jake gives him a hard time. But still, they are *very* disturbed by all of the similarities. And why does everything in their lives come back to Yeerks anyway?Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,448 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 12-1-12 - Jake & Marco - Complete34. Unprepared reviewsWhen the Illusive Man holds Shepard and Anderson's fates in his hand on the Citadel, the situation looks bleak indeed. Fortunately, Shepard was not nearly as prepared as she could be to save the galaxy and this might somehow save the day.Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,630 - Reviews: 22 - Published: 11-28-12 - Shepard (F) & Illusive Man - Complete35. Clarifying Matters reviews"I think you might be being a little hard on Juliet." Monroe just doesn't understand why Nick is focusing on the kiss and completly ignoring the part where Juliet is the victim of an obsession spell. What's that? Nick insists that this is the first he's hearing about it? No, he MUST have mentioned this earlier...right?Grimm - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,820 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 11-23-12 - Monroe & Nick B. - Complete36. Old Shame reviewsFinch vowed after Nathan's death that he would never tell the story behind it. Reese respected that, more or less, and - failing to find information on it - assumed that it must be related to the Machine in some way. Finch let him think that because it was rather less...everything...than the truth which he would take to however many graves he ended up having.Person of Interest - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,195 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 11-16-12 - H. Finch & N. Ingram - Complete37. In the Know reviewsFinale AU. Lex coming back from the dead isn't exactly news at this point but this time, things are different. This time he knows Clark's secret and so, in the tradition of everyone who has ever discovered Clark's secret, all of the rest of it is just meaningless details. If only Lex were a little quicker on the uptake. Clark does have a planet to save, after all.Smallville - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,628 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 11-16-12 - Clark K. & Lex L.38. Don't Waste It » reviewsSooner or later, every character gets their shot at a second chance. This is Peter Pettigrew's. He may not deserve it but he certainly wasn't happy with how things ended up. The only question was how to get a better future without having to possess the kind of bravery that the lack of had sent him running to Voldemort in the first place...Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,698 - Reviews: 117 - Updated: 11-10-12 - Published: 11-3-12 - Marauders & Lily Evans P. - Complete39. An Apostate? Me? » reviewsEmma Hawke has never been the most subtle or sane of apostates, much to the annoyance of the brother that can only watch in amazement and horror as she stumbles her way from refugee to noble to champion in a city as bizarre as she. Eventual AndersXHawke.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 44 - Words: 135,221 - Reviews: 283 - Updated: 11-1-12 - Published: 3-26-11 - Hawke (F) & Carver H. - Complete40. Rewarded reviewsSeverus got his wish when Voldemort decided to stun Lily instead of killing her. With her husband and son dead, what is there for her in this world? And without Lily's sacrifice, will there be any hope for the wizarding world? AUHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,893 - Reviews: 39 - Published: 10-25-12 - Lily Evans P. & Sirius B. - Complete41. Idyllic » reviewsIt was a secret war they pretended didn't exist for so long but eventually they all became aware of it and then there was no going back for any of them. The ending was almost inevitable but it's the journey that matters. Snapshots of the Berenson family.Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 100 - Words: 230,913 - Reviews: 512 - Updated: 10-21-12 - Published: 11-19-10 - Jake & Tom B. - Complete42. Forcible Redemption » reviewsLoki had given a lot of thought to what his punishment might be but this one might be the worst of all. Apparently he was going to be redeemed. By THOR. That was such a bad idea it was painful. Where was an abyss to be thrown into when you needed it?Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 62,916 - Reviews: 474 - Updated: 10-4-12 - Published: 5-26-12 - Thor & Loki - Complete43. Fixed Points reviewsIt all started with an innocent question from Brian leading the Doctor to consider the possibility that perhaps there is still something he can do for Amy and Rory. In the past, the pair have to decide what kind of life they would like to lead and take steps that may yet bring them home. A fixed point is a fixed point but what exactly did they see? Post Angels in Manhattan.Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,006 - Reviews: 29 - Published: 10-3-12 - 11th Doctor & Rory W. - Complete44. About That reviewsAfter eight years, Mary thought that she had said everything there was to say about the ill-fated Mr. Pamuk and she knew all that she had to about the matter. Matthew, when he let himself think about it, was similarly sure. Once again, though, some ghosts refuse to lie and there's one pressing and supremely ironic bit about the affair that nobody had realized...Downton Abbey - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,924 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 9-25-12 - Matthew C. & Mary C. - Complete45. Stepfamily » reviewsStill, she hesitated. "Ziggy…Are you my big sister?" Sammy Jo discovers the truth of her parentage and then there's little chance of keeping it quiet. With Sam still out of contact with them, she still doesn't have a father, just another absent man to think of as one. And Donna thought that she had accepted Sam's relationships with other women but this was something else entirely.Quantum Leap - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 52,277 - Reviews: 52 - Updated: 9-15-12 - Published: 7-14-12 - Complete46. That One Moment reviewsIan Reed had been on a downward slide ever since the abduction but there had been that one moment, back in the hotel room, where it seemed like he might not be a lost cause after all. If the maid had sensibly stayed hidden until the clearly unstable man who killed the room's occupant had left, would Luther have been able to reach him and prevent the tragedy that followed?Luther - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,768 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9-13-12 - J. Luther - Complete47. American Nightmare reviewsAmerican Dream prologue. Phillip Swann just sat there after the verdict was read, unable to comprehend it. There was no body and the star witness had gotten everything wrong and he was still convicted. And he couldn't even make them realize their mistake or it would ruin everything. How could that possibly be justice? One day, he swore he would be back and he would have his revengeLaw and Order - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,404 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 9-13-12 - B. Stone - Complete48. Confessions reviewsJack, hard-working EADA that he is, has no idea how Ron Carver can manage to have such an impressive conviction rate when he spends so little time working at the office. Carver tries to explain about all of the confessions Major Case gets him but that doesn't make matters any clearer. Since when did judges actually declare a freely given confession admissible in court anyway?Crossover - Law and Order & Law and Order: CI - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,092 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-11-12 - J. McCoy & R. Carver - Complete49. This Freaking Case reviewsMike and Lennie are faced with perhaps the most ridiculous case they've ever faced complete with the most unhelpful witnesses possible. The suspect keeps confessing but confessions somehow never manage to stick, do they? Jack's certain that judges shouldn't flip a coin to make rulings but even without any admissible evidence and Paul with the defense he still intends to win.Law and Order - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,841 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 9-2-12 - M. Logan & J. McCoy - Complete50. When In Doubt, Obliviate » reviewsWhen a chance meeting reveals Harry's planned fate to Lockhart, he knows what he has to do: rescue him and raise him as his own to properly manage his celebrity status. Harry gets a magical upbringing, Lockhart gets the Boy-Who-Lived...everybody wins!Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 38 - Words: 114,644 - Reviews: 2113 - Updated: 8-22-12 - Published: 1-8-11 - Harry P. & Gilderoy L. - Complete51. Facebook reviewsChristopher finds JR's Facebook page. At first, he thinks nothing of it until he realizese that JR's apparently been sitting on extremely important information for weeks. And then then there's the photos that aren't just improbable but seem impossible for JR to have had taken. And apparently Rebecca killed a guy. Hopefully Bobby could help him make sense of all of this.Dallas - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,816 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-9-12 - Christopher E. & Bobby E. - Complete52. Wanted: Responsible Adult » reviewsAfter driving his first crush to a nunnery, Romeo swears he'll never love again...until he sees a very pretty girl. So what if she's thirteen? Her family hates him anyway! And Juliet's just glad to get away her really old almost-fiancé, her mother who is determined to add as many greats to grandmother as she can in her lifetime, and her really inappropriate nurse. It's true love.Shakespeare - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 26,492 - Reviews: 64 - Updated: 8-6-12 - Published: 7-9-12 - Complete53. Sophie's Choice reviewsIt started out simply enough. Emily made an innocent observation about thinking Leah and Jacob would make a cute couple. But werewolves, and Leah in particular, can never just be simple. They've both been faced with a choice when things aren't perfect: staying and being happy or leaving and keeping their self-respect. Of course they could never have picked the same option.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,413 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 7-28-12 - Emily & Leah - Complete54. Benefits of Directness reviewsElena stared at the email for quite awhile before the words made any sense and when they did she was furious. Who broke up with someone on the night before their wedding over an email? Well, apparently Christopher Ewing did. If he wanted to end it, fine, he could but he was going to have to say those words to her face. Pre-series AU.Dallas - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,628 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 7-28-12 - Christopher E. - Complete55. Reality Check reviewsAfter Alfred's revelation about Rachel's letter, Bruce is at a lost. Did she really write that letter? He thought that Alfred wouldn't lie to him but he clearly has, whether he's been lying for eight years or just lied now. And it was all to protect him, of course. He would have thought he'd miss her less after so long but maybe he should have known better. If only she were here.Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,661 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-25-12 - Bruce W./Batman & Rachel D. - Complete56. Perspective reviewsNick understands why all the recent Wesen activity that couldn't be concealed is freaking some people out, Hank in particular. Sergeant Wu was once on the force in Gotham during the worst period to be IN Gotham, let alone on the force, and disagrees that it's anything to get all worked up about. Really, it just depends on how you look at it.Crossover - Batman Begins/Dark Knight & Grimm - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,261 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 7-23-12 - Sgt. Wu - Complete57. An Indirect Rescue reviewsJust because Sam didn't succeed in warning his twelve-year-old sister away from a future abusive husband she'd never even met didn't mean that his actions had no effect. The night before Katie's elopement, Tom finds his sister unable to sleep and attempts to cheer her up. It only takes a little to change fate.Quantum Leap - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,542 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-3-12 - Complete58. Gods Complicate Everything » reviewsPost-Mirror Image Sam dutifully continues leaping around, never expecting to see Al again when the pair are reunited just in time for one of Sam's strangest assignments yet. As Odin, moments before Loki's fall into the abyss, Sam must find a way to deal with these family issues and, with luck, prevent the start of the path that leads to Ragnarok.Crossover - Quantum Leap & Thor - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,669 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 6-24-12 - Published: 6-18-12 - Loki - Complete59. Promise Kept reviewsSnow White and the Huntsman-verse. Having brought the princess back to life, the Huntsman is left with one of two possibilities. Either Snow White is his true love or the queen kept her promise and now his kisses can revive the dead. Well, there's only one way to test that theory.Snow White and the Huntsman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,435 - Reviews: 35 - Published: 6-4-12 - Eric/The Huntsman & Snow White - Complete60. None So Blind reviewsHaving not been banished, Thor's the one who comes across Loki and the Casket. His legendary stubbornness comes into play when he just refuses to believe Loki could be a Frost Giant no matter how much proof he's given. Well, at least he has faith. AU.Thor - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,434 - Reviews: 54 - Published: 5-23-12 - Loki & Thor - Complete61. Dreams of Daniel reviewsNot all of Regina's nightmares involve losing Henry or the peons remembering themselves and coming after her. Sometimes, Regina dreams of Daniel and tries to pretend she doesn't know what he'd think of her quest for vengeance, for justice.Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,187 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 5-13-12 - The Evil Queen/Regina M. & Daniel - Complete62. Wrong reviewsMegamorphs 3 AU. Visser Four changed so much that the same people wouldn't have gotten married and been born so most of the regular Animorphs don't exist. Now a team of ruthless Animorphs who won't exist if they 'fix' things are faced with that choice.Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,348 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 5-3-12 - Cassie & Ax - Complete63. The Only One » reviewsMolly, Lestrade, Donovan, Anderson, Mrs. Hudson, John, Mycroft, and Irene are all convinced that they are the only one who knows the truth about Sherlock and must hide it from each other. Naturally, when Sherlock does come back it all gets rather strangeSherlock - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,469 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 4-26-12 - Published: 4-22-12 - Sherlock H. - Complete64. Desperation reviewsMercédès was aware of what a terrible thing it is to do to someone, letting them think another man's child is their own. Fernand has been nothing but good to her and was Edmond's best friend but she couldn't think of that now. She had a child to protect.Count of Monte Cristo - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,367 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 4-25-12 - Complete65. The Right Thing reviewsAU David abducts Ax instead of Cassie in 48 and now the time has come to deal with David once and for all. Will Ax be as quick to leave Rachel alone to do what she has to? How could he possibly after sharing the horror of trapping him in the first place?Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,058 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 4-24-12 - Rachel & Ax - Complete66. The Problem with Victory reviewsEsplin 9466, once Visser Three, has always been a creature of action and when there was a war to fight and an empire to build things were good. Now that that's over, now that there's victory and he's Emperor, now there are problems. Book 41-universe.Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,552 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 4-23-12 - Visser Three & Elfangor - Complete67. Triumph reviewsPost 2X3 Cesare character study. At last he has had his chance and at last he has proven himself worthy of it, particularly compared to Juan's failure. There was time to revel in the triumph but then he had to figure out how to keep his opportunity.Borgias - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,325 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 4-23-12 - Cesare B. - Complete68. A Near Miss reviewsEdmond happens to forget who he was supposed to deliver Napoleon's letter to and so leaves the magistrate's office unscathed. A very hungover Fernand is just THRILLED to hear all about how blessed his friend's life continues to be. AU 2002 Movieverse.Count of Monte Cristo - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,585 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 4-22-12 - Complete69. The Jedi Kind of Had it Coming » reviewsAll Revan wanted was to avoid any and all responsibility but the Force drags him back to the middle of the action once more. The Exile is probably the most dedicated Jedi ever and so she'll need all the help she can get... Sequel to 'So Not My Problem.'Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 30 - Words: 95,727 - Reviews: 435 - Updated: 4-16-12 - Published: 2-8-11 - Exile/Meetra Surik & Revan - Complete70. Eyes Forced Open » reviewsIn a bid to make the Once-ler finally face what he's doing, the Lorax suggests a day trip to see what's going on with the promise that he'll leave him alone if he's not convinced. The Once-ler agrees to try to get some peace. How bad could it possibly be?Dr. Seuss series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,310 - Reviews: 31 - Updated: 4-10-12 - Published: 3-29-12 - The Once-ler & The Lorax - Complete71. Disappointment reviewsThe Once-ler's mother, May, refuses to dwell on the past after that last tree fell and she's certainly not thinking about a certain someone no matter how much they attempt to haunt her. The past is only as real as you let it be.Dr. Seuss series - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,165 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-4-12 - Once-ler's Mother & The Once-ler - Complete72. The Price of Paradise reviewsThe Lorax had done it. The forest would be protected and the Once-ler would chop down no more trees. The outcome was, for the most part, good but the cost had been heavy indeed. It was never supposed to have been like this but there was no going back nowDr. Seuss series - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,292 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 4-3-12 - The Lorax & The Once-ler - Complete73. The Reunion reviewsLucille Sengupta goes to bed one night and wakes up in a new world to find she's somehow missed the last half a century. With no idea of what happened or why, she looks up the one person she can trust to make sense of it all or at least to be there.Alcatraz - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,722 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-28-12 - Lucy B. & E. Hauser - Complete74. No Idle Threat reviewsRay seldom made a promise he didn't intend to keep. As he drove away from the hospital and Rebecca and towards the old family home and his brother, he knew that this wasn't going to be one of those rare exceptions. Painful or not, it had to be this way.Alcatraz - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,779 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-28-12 - Ray A. & T. Madsen - Complete75. Impetus reviewsEvery day she pretends to be Siobhan and every night Bridget can't help but worry about the future and what she risks losing if she waits too long to admit the truth.Ringer - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,303 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-27-12 - Bridget K. - Complete76. Things Not to Tell the Grandkids reviewsTed loved being a big hero and he was already planning out the story he'll be telling his and hopefully Audrey's grandchildren one day. Still, he's realized that there were parts of the story that other people really didn't need to know...Dr. Seuss series - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,125 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 3-26-12 - Ted Wiggins - Complete77. An Unexpected Reaction reviewsBridget finally decides to stop stalling and just tell Andrew the truth only to discover that he's not quite as surprised as he should be. Is it in bad taste for HER to be mad at HIM in the middle of her "I'm impersonating my dead sister" confession?Ringer - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,453 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 3-26-12 - Bridget K. & Andrew M. - Complete78. Signs Unnoticed reviewsAfter the destruction of the Truffula trees, the Once-Ler is left to try to figure out where it all went wrong and how he could have possibly missed all the signs that things weren't as good as they seemed. And yeah, he should have listened to the Lorax.Dr. Seuss series - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,184 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-25-12 - The Once-ler & The Lorax - Complete79. Must Be Love reviewsLittle Clark comes home with questions about why being near Lana makes him dizzy and a little sick and Jonathan thinks he knows the answer. Clark's got his first crush. It's not like there's any OTHER explanation for these symptoms, after all...Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,035 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 3-14-12 - Clark K. & Jonathan K. - Complete80. The Reality of Forever reviewsCountless millenia in the future, a Shepard who chose the blue light ending has lost almost everything of the person they used to be. As time passes and organics fall into the same tired patterns, Shepard must make a choice they never thought they would.Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,904 - Reviews: 34 - Published: 3-14-12 - Shepard (F) & Shepard (M) - Complete81. The Reason He Stays reviewsBridget looked over at him one day and abruptly asked, "Why are you still here?" Oh, there were so very many ways to answer that question, verey few of which she'd really understand. It was enough she believed that he WOULD stay. Malcolm character study.Ringer - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,280 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3-13-12 - Malcolm W. & Bridget K. - Complete82. Whatever It Takes reviewsContrary to what Shepard might think, what the whole galaxy might think, the Illusive Man hasn't lost his focus or his mind and his goals are the same as ever. Humanity first no matter what the cost. They had better stay out of his way. Spoilers for ME3Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,251 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3-13-12 - Illusive Man & Shepard (F) - Complete83. Cheating Has Consequences reviewsEspecially when the woman you cheat on is THE Commander Shepard who is once more a hero to the galaxy. It's even worse when she has her own personal reporter to tell HER side of the story to the galaxy at large. This could be a problem. Spoilers for ME3.Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,015 - Reviews: 28 - Published: 3-12-12 - Jacob T. & Shepard (F) - Complete84. Come Away With Me reviewsTo a spying Obi-Wan's complete shock, Padmé manages to convince Anakin to abruptly quit the Sith and run away with her. Just like that. With no regrets. After killing all those younglings. Can he even do that?Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,275 - Reviews: 48 - Published: 3-11-12 - Obi-Wan K. & Anakin Skywalker - Complete85. Uncomfortable Truths reviewsAfter running into Jacob again, one thing he said stuck with her. "The Normandy's your real love." That can't be true, can it? Shepard's uncertain and that doesn't bode well for the future, no, not at all. If they even have a future. Spoilers for ME3.Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,947 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3-9-12 - Shepard (F) & Kaidan A. - Complete86. Emma Swan, Skeptic reviewsIt all starts when Henry figures out who Gold is and tells him that Belle is alive. That sets the ball in motion and soon the curse is breaking left and right. None of this, however, means that Emma is at all obligated to believe that there is a curse.Once Upon a Time - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,502 - Reviews: 24 - Published: 3-3-12 - Emma S. - Complete87. Left Behind reviewsHe had gone to sleep one night and the world had changed. It was impossible to make sense of anything, even his own actions. Everyone wanted answers but he couldn't provide them with any. So much had changed but in the prison it was all so much the same.Alcatraz - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,030 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2-29-12 - Jack S./Prisoner 2024 - Complete88. Opening the Can of Worms reviewsAfter her Uncle Ray's kidnapping, Rebecca decides to stop by his bar and ask him about his seeming inability to be honest with her about her grandfather. And to see if he's okay, of course. Priorities and whatnot.Alcatraz - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,288 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2-27-12 - Rebecca M. & Ray A. - Complete89. Conundrum reviewsOnce everything is out in the open, Conrad reflects on the girl who is both his daughter and yet not and wondering what he is going to do and how things managed to come to this. If he ever needed validation for his hatred of David Clarke, he now has it.Revenge - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,647 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2-9-12 - Conrad G. & Charlotte G. - Complete90. The New Deal reviewsAfter being cornered by Kings Midas and George and forced into an engagement he doesn't want, James seeks out Rumpelstiltskin to let him know just what he thinks of the altered agreement and must consider how much the possibility of true love means to himOnce Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,397 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 2-8-12 - Prince Charming/David N. & Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold - Complete91. Embezzlement reviewsAU ending to Fruit of the Poisonous Tree. After Regina reveals that she embezzled the money to build a playground Emma gets a text reminding her that embezzling for a good cause is still illegal. If only there were dozens of witnesses to her confession...Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,530 - Reviews: 24 - Published: 2-7-12 - Emma S. & Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold - Complete92. Lex's Creepy Stalker Room reviewsAfter Clark discovers Lex has an entire room devoted to investigating him he decides to stay and hear how Lex can possibly claim the giant picture of him is really all about Lex. He makes a valiant effort but in the end it's still a creepy stalker room...Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,632 - Reviews: 23 - Published: 2-2-12 - Lex L. & Clark K. - Complete93. Beneath the Surface reviewsMissing scene from Fruit of the Poisonous Tree. King Leopold's motivations for finding the man Regina loves aren't quite what the Genie expects. As he said, he wants *everyone* in his kingdom to be happy and Regina is definitely in his kingdom.Once Upon a Time - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,471 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 1-31-12 - Snow White/Mary M. Blanchard & King Leopold - Complete94. Road to Rediscovery reviewsPost-Smallville, Lex tries to piece together the life he can no longer remember. One name in particular keeps coming up and so he invites Clark Kent for a meeting to discuss the past and how things ended up the way they did.Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,193 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 1-27-12 - Lex L. & Clark K. - Complete95. Useless Clichés reviewsIn the wake of Sherlock's destruction at the hands of the press, Mycroft reflects on the part that he had played in the whole debacle. He may not have been the one to do it but he enabled it and no amount of well-meaning clichés would make him forget it.Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,607 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 1-22-12 - Mycroft H. & Sherlock H. - Complete96. Graveside Revelations reviewsAfter being gone for a year and taking down Moriarty's criminal empire, Sherlock decides to reveal himself to John at the graveyard. Surprisingly, things do not go the way he expected them to. At all. Post season two.Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 22 - Published: 1-19-12 - John W. & Sherlock H. - Complete97. The Joys of Being Right reviewsSally Donovan was, against all odds, right about Sherlock. She had been waiting for this day and thought it'd never come. She should be happy, she should be horrified, she should be...in the end, he was just a lunatic and always let you down. Post-Season2Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,252 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 1-15-12 - Sgt. S. Donavan & Sherlock H. - Complete98. I Need A Drink reviewsCarth goes in search of Revan, intending to once again give him grief for that whole 'never mentioning he was a Sith' thing. Of course, this scene has played out before but Revan being Revan ensures that this time things get strange. Mild Carth/Male RevanStar Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,953 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-15-12 - Revan & Carth O. - Complete99. Merely A Minor Position reviewsA chance observation from Sherlock leads John to finally figure out exactly what position Mycroft holds in the British Government. Naturally, he's shocked that Sherlock didn't know. Even more naturally, Sherlock himself couldn't care less.Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,465 - Reviews: 28 - Published: 1-12-12 - Sherlock H. & John W. - Complete100. An Animorphs Christmas Carol » reviewsIt's been a few months since the end of the war and Jake's inability to move on is really worrying people. They do their best to reach out to him but nothing seems to work. Can four spirits help him find his way again?Animorphs - Rated: T - English - Family/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,319 - Reviews: 30 - Updated: 12-17-11 - Published: 12-1-11 - Jake - Complete101. Dead reviewsViolet was dead. She hadn't wanted it and it was mostly an accident. She didn't even remember it and yet it was true so she had best start getting used to it. But what did this revelation mean about the Tate Issue? And how could she save her parents?American Horror Story - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,083 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12-13-11 - Violet H. & Tate L. - Complete102. Searching for Sanity reviewsConstance's youngest child doesn't know what's wrong with the house next door, she *doesn't*, but she's sick of her neighbors constantly dying and sick of everyone expecting her to be another Tate. Really, it was a wonder she didn't leave sooner.American Horror Story - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,103 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 11-24-11 - Constance & Tate L. - Complete103. The Homicidal Castle Dweller » reviewsOn their way to visit a very old professor Sheldon is certain is wrong about something, he and Raj run into a closed road and no wifi. Fortunately, there was a castle a few miles back and someone there should be able to give them directions to Dr. Scott.Crossover - Rocky Horror & Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,887 - Reviews: 21 - Updated: 11-16-11 - Published: 11-13-11 - Frank N. Furter & Sheldon C. - Complete104. A Seemingly Simple Game » reviewsFaced with nothing better to do, the Trio break out Monopoly. Complicated by the fact that Ron's never played before and this IS Hogwarts, the game somehow becomes rife with outrageous corruption, lousy service, and jail time for minor traffic violationsHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,735 - Reviews: 247 - Updated: 11-4-11 - Published: 8-3-11 - Harry P. & Hermione G. - Complete105. Early for Once reviewsThough the Doctor was trying to get to Barcelona, the TARDIS takes him, Amy, and Rory to early 20th century Wales instead...and right in front of Jack a full century too early. Surely he'll be reasonable about the Doctor's need to preserve timelines...Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,048 - Reviews: 24 - Published: 8-19-11 - 11th Doctor & Jack H. - Complete106. Coming Clean reviewsGwen knows she hasn't done the right thing in the past and she isn't sure she's doing it now but she needs to explain it to him at least once and let him react, even if he can never remember it. Altered version of Gwen's confession about Owen in "Combat.Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,107 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-15-11 - Gwen C. & Rhys W. - Complete107. Cheating Destiny » reviewsWhen a freshman Clark wakes up twenty-five years into the future and can't reach his parents or Pete, he turns to Lex to help him figure it out. What a wonderful opportunity this is to correct certain aspects of their past...Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,575 - Reviews: 168 - Updated: 8-14-11 - Published: 6-13-11 - Lex L. & Clark K. - Complete108. Saving Captain Jack reviewsRose let it go at the time because she had bigger problems but when she and Ten are more comfortable with each other, she has to know: Jack? Staying behind to rebuild Earth? Really? Without saying goodbye? REALLY? Someone's got some explaining to do...Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,279 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 8-13-11 - Rose T. & 10th Doctor - Complete109. The Importance of Impartiality reviewsCaptain Ross had always felt it was important to avoid getting involved with cases you were personally invested in. It was a pity his detectives and sometimes even the ADAs don't feel that way. Still, how many such cases can they POSSIBLY come across?Law and Order: CI - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,391 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 8-9-11 - D. Ross - Complete110. Forever Hold Your Peace » reviewsThere's something to be said about timing and Nessie really wished she'd realized she was in love with Jacob more than a few weeks before he announced his engagement to someone else. She had two choices: ruin his happiness or grin and bear it. Blackwater.Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 36,500 - Reviews: 82 - Updated: 8-8-11 - Published: 5-23-11 - Renesmee C./Nessie & Leah - Complete111. Inescapable reviewsMondego knew that nothing would be gained by going back and that fleeing was the only sane option. Still, his whole life had been spent trying to prove that Edmond wasn't better than he was and now it was time to end it. No more doubts. 2002 Movieverse.Count of Monte Cristo - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,578 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 8-5-11 - Complete112. Circumstantial reviewsParliament may be destroyed and a revolution beginning, but the fact remains that Evey Hammond is a wanted fugitive standing next to a Detective Chief Inspector who feels that he's waited long enough for answers. If only she WAS in as deep as he thought.V for Vendetta - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,209 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 7-28-11 - Complete113. Just Fight Already! reviewsThe time has finally come for Naruto and Sasuke's final battle...well, almost. First comes Naruto's appeals to stop trying to kill everyone, Sasuke's blatant rejection of facts he doesn't like, and a bit too much fondness for arguing from them both.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,620 - Reviews: 70 - Published: 7-15-11 - Naruto U. & Sasuke U. - Complete114. A Little Espionage reviewsConcerned about what the Declaration Committee is REALLY up to, Dickinson and Rutledge send the ever-ignored Wilson to listen in on them. To their shock, they discover that no one actually even WANTED the job. Some opposition they turned out to be.1776 - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,949 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 7-7-11 - Complete115. Piloting Prowess or Lack Thereof reviewsBetween Pierce's piloting, Abed's Hangover homage, Troy's refusal to take the KFC simulation to mean he's qualified to fly a plane, and Jeff and Britta being alone together in the cockpit, that Habitat for Humanity house didn't stand a chance...Community - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,552 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 6-30-11 - Jeff W. & Britta P. - Complete116. Fake Psychics and Psychic Paper » reviewsInstead of hiding in London, the Plasmavore takes refuge in a Santa Barbara hospital. Now instead of a doctor with a crush, the Doctor's got a pyschic detective and his partner at his side as he attempts a life without Rose but with plenty of pineapples.Crossover - Doctor Who & Psych - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 70,528 - Reviews: 283 - Updated: 6-24-11 - Published: 4-1-11 - 10th Doctor & Shawn S. - Complete117. A Bit Batty reviewsThe TARDIS is probably destroyed and the Doctor is suddenly faced with the prospect of a sharing a mortgage with Rose. This should make him happy, right? He does love her, after all. He's just never done well with being trapped and this time it's foreverDoctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,642 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 6-22-11 - 10th Doctor & Rose T. - Complete118. Evil Model Cars reviewsThey might not be friends anymore but Lex's mansion is still a nice place to hang out. Of course, Lex is evil now so anything he does must be evil as well, even if it's just building model cars. What kind of a person would he be if he didn't confront Lex?Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,769 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 6-22-11 - Lex L. & Clark K. - Complete119. Impossible Crush reviewsPre-Community. Troy sat in front of Annie every day in Algebra and yet somehow seemed to completely miss her existence. She knew she shouldn't let it bother her but then she knew that she shouldn't like him either and wasn't THAT working out for her...Community - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,528 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 6-22-11 - Annie E. & Troy B. - Complete120. An Honest Misunderstanding reviewsAfter yet another instance of Amy being kidnapped and describing the man she loves in terms that any sane person would think referred to the Doctor, Rory decides to confront Amy on her apparent inability to sound like she's talking about him.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,649 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 6-16-11 - Rory W. & Amelia P./Amy - Complete121. So Much for Trust reviewsAfter Kara regains her memory, Lex confronts her about moving back in with the Kents and how exactly she regained her memory. It would have been easier to slip out unnoticed but if Kal-El can bluff his way through these encounters then so can she.Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,220 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6-15-11 - Kara & Lex L. - Complete122. Wendy's Farewell reviewsRose wasn't trapped in a parallel dimension and so has continued to travel quite happily with the Doctor for the past decade. Lately, however, she can't help but feel like she needs to move on and try to make some sort of life for herself back on Earth.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,973 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6-15-11 - Rose T. & 10th Doctor - Complete123. Flashback reviewsRory, Amy, and the Doctor go back to Space Florida and who should they meet but Rose and Mickey, temporarily separated from their Doctor? Oh, this is SUCh a bad idea but Amy just can't leave well enough alone. Time for an impromptu reunion.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,348 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 6-14-11 - Amelia P./Amy & Rose T. - Complete124. What is a Time Head Anyway? reviewsPost-Day of the Moon. Amy and Rory have a much-needed talk about Amy not mentioning her possible pregnancy, their disturbing habit of dying, how having a baby would mean leaving the Doctor, and what exactly they want to name their future child.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,119 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 6-13-11 - Rory W. & Amelia P./Amy - Complete125. Normal reviewsAfter a talk with an old friend about a completely human issue he's having with his son, Jonathan starts to wonder when exactly he and Martha stopped being normal. What would a normal person's reaction be to finding an alien child anyway? Adopt it?Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,790 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 6-12-11 - Jonathan K. & Martha K. - Complete126. Blame reviewsIt wasn't the Doctor's fault. Amy knew that, of course she did, and yet somehow it didn't seem to matter. It happened because of him and she had missed the signs. In the wake of "A Good Man Goes to War", Amy tries to come to terms with it all.Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,736 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 6-12-11 - Amelia P./Amy & 11th Doctor - Complete127. Crossroads reviewsWhen Lex issues his ultimatum after the second meteor shower, Clark realizes just what's at stake and decides that he should really tell him, especially now that he's practically human. If only he could just spit it out...Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,295 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 6-9-11 - Clark K. & Lex L. - Complete128. Pointless reviewsThe thing about Lex having no idea who he is, Clark has come to realize, is that it renders their history completely moot. Pointless. The fact that it looks like Lex's still going to be a villain makes his attempts to save him seem just as worthwhile.Smallville - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,387 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 5-29-11 - Clark K. & Lex L. - Complete129. Some Gratitude reviewsAngelica really is bringing this on herself, Jack decides. First she takes him saving her life and turns it into murdering her father and then she won't even have the decency to believe that he actually expected Blackbeard to do the right thing...Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,074 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 5-26-11 - Capt. Jack Sparrow & Angelica - Complete130. Warm Up » reviewsThe Breakfast Club doesn't quite know how things will go at school so Monday morning before class they meet up again to try and buffer each other up in case things go badly since Claire still won't commit to anything. She's trying, though. They all are.Breakfast Club - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,357 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 5-26-11 - Published: 5-10-11 - Claire S. & John B. - Complete131. Typical reviewsPierce on choosing to leave the study group on his own terms at the end of season two. In a way he's almost glad that they were so smug about inviting him back. It made it easier to leave now when it was still his decision and not theirs anymore.Community - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,645 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 5-23-11 - Pierce H. - Complete132. Can't Be reviewsYears of her life went into restoring the Eluvian and now with, one well-meaning possession, it's ruined. Was Marethari right? Would it only have ended in tragedy? Merrill didn't know anymore but she wasn't sure it mattered. It was her life to risk.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,426 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 4-24-11 - Merrill - Complete133. Last of the Kissograms reviewsIn which the Doctor realizes that by 2008, Amy's part of a dying breed and gets some firsthand experience about just how awkward it is to listen to people going on about being the last of their kind. Good thing he stopped doing that with his regeneration.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,347 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 4-24-11 - 11th Doctor & Amelia P./Amy - Complete134. Flight Interrupted reviewsIsabela is halfway to Ostwick and not feeling even remotely guilty. Nope, not at all. She's just going to take the relic, get Castillon off her back, find a new ship and...oh, who is she kidding? This is all Hawke's fault.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,256 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 4-13-11 - Isabela & Hawke (F) - Complete135. Worth the Risk reviewsVarania discovers that Leto is determined to enter Danarius' competition to be the lucky slave to get lyrium markings in the mad hope that he'll keep his promise to free her and their mother. She wishes she could be more strenuous in her objections.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,537 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-11-11 - Complete136. Betrayal reviewsThe first lesson Fenris ever learned was to never trust a mage. It took years before Salomé Hawke managed to break through his walls. She had been nothing but kind to him for six years which is why he can't understand why she's just standing there.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,798 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 4-10-11 - Fenris & Hawke (F) - Complete137. Thanks, Nathaniel reviewsUnexpectedly reunited in the Deep Roads together after years apart, Nathaniel and Anders discuss how much their lives have changed since Amaranthine and why what happened with Justice is at least a little bit Nathaniel's fault.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,238 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 4-8-11 - Nathaniel H. & Anders - Complete138. Offer of a Lifetime reviewsThe Ellimist decides to offer one lucky and lifelong Animorphs fan the chance to get to go inside the books and BECOME an Animorph. Too bad he picked someone who felt that needlessly getting involved in a horrific fictional war is kind of a bad idea...Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,405 - Reviews: 22 - Published: 4-4-11 - Ellimist - Complete139. Elopement It Is reviewsLeandra's parents don't react well to the news that she's planning on running off with an apostate no matter how many apostates Gamlen's run off with or how much of a romantic cliché the first meeting was. And Leandra had better not be pregnant...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 4-2-11 - Leandra H. & Gamlen A. - Complete140. Orphaned reviewsBreaking the news was always going to be horrible but it would have been better if her sister had been the one to do it. Unfortunately, Aurelia never could manage to bring herself to visit the Circle so Gamlen was left to tell Bethany about her mother.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,363 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-31-11 - Bethany H. & Gamlen A. - Complete141. Stranger In My Life reviewsShe'd always known that getting involved with an abomination wasn't the brightest plan but lately things had only been getting worse. Justice had never liked her and was growing stronger by the day. Still, it wasn't over just yet. It couldn't be.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,025 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 3-29-11 - Hawke (F) & Justice - Complete142. On Moving On reviewsPost-war. Cassie on moving on and the bridges that must be burned in order to do so. Save Rachel, they all survive physically but for some it didn't go much further than that.Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,052 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-28-11 - Cassie - Complete143. Like Watching a Shipwreck reviewsVarric is well-accustomed to having to pay to keep his friends safe. Still, he had hoped that they had more sense than to PROVE that they had mages among them in the Gallows in front of Cullen. Apparently not. This part was being edited out of history.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,887 - Reviews: 28 - Published: 3-27-11 - Varric T. & Cullen - Complete144. Take A Man's Cat reviewsNew Orlesian Warden-Commander Fayle Fahlgai felt perfectly justified assigning Anders a templar stalker and making him get rid of Pounce but he never expected his predecessor Angélique Amell to take issue with this and force him to apologize...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,350 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 3-26-11 - Anders & Amell - Complete145. Family Resemblance reviewsCarver can see how much his sister resents their uncle and their mother is disappointed with him but he just can't see to hate him. He sees too much of himself in Gamlen and that's rather alarming. He really has to find that purpose of his soon.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,965 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 3-15-11 - Carver H. & Hawke (F) - Complete146. Not Quite a Fairytale reviewsEveryone expects an imprint to eventually end up with the man who imprinted on them but Claire finds that she can't force feelings that aren't there. She has no idea what Quil wants from her or how he'll react but she knows she needs to tell him soon.Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,175 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 3-13-11 - Claire & Quil Jr. - Complete147. Everyone's Safe reviewsAU ending to "Human Nature"/"Family of Blood." What if the Family had never found Martha and the Doctor? Could John Smith have ever had the life he saw in the watch? Even if he could, everything must end eventually. At least he knows everyone's safe.Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,506 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 2-8-11 - Joan R. & J. Smith - Complete148. So Not My Problem » reviewsAll Revan wanted to do was stay alive and try to get with Bastila, in that order. He doesn't want to save the galaxy and he's not looking to help everyone he meets. Tragically, he's surrounded by hero types that keep trying to drag him along for the ride.Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 29 - Words: 99,156 - Reviews: 660 - Updated: 2-1-11 - Published: 1-16-10 - Revan - Complete149. The Boy Who Did Become King » reviewsFrom the stables, to the Chantry, to the Grey Wardens, to the throne. Alistair's faced it all with his usual levity and attempt to fulfill his sometimes conflicting duties and he'll continue to do so. A series of Alistair-related BSN prompts.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 18,210 - Reviews: 54 - Updated: 1-29-11 - Published: 11-13-10 - Alistair - Complete150. Never Compromise » reviewsAnders had always known that he wanted to be free, even before he was taken to the Circle, and he wasn't about to let anything or anyone convince him otherwise no matter where the path to freedom may lead him. A series of Anders-related BSN prompts.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 23,559 - Reviews: 67 - Updated: 1-28-11 - Published: 9-17-10 - Anders - Complete151. First Girl Wins reviewsSylvia didn't quite know why Truman had set his sights on her instead of Meryl but she wasn't complaining. She just wished she was allowed to even talk to him and that, once she had stolen a date, the guilt hadn't overwhelmed her. Sylvia character study.Truman Show - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,212 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 1-19-11 - Complete152. Luck of a Crow » reviewsZevran was born into slavery and lived to die but somehow fate always seemed to have other plans for him. Through his darker moments to his most unsuccessful assassination ever, he always came back in one piece. A series of Zevran-related BSN prompts.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 14,777 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 1-18-11 - Published: 9-23-10 - Zevran A. - Complete153. Together in Paris reviews"You know, John, I do believe that you might be the absolute worst diplomat I've ever seen." Post-Movie, Franklin and Adams are reunited as fellow commissioners trying to get French aid. Adams is eager to start but Franklin has his reservations.1776 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,051 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1-9-11 - Complete154. Adams' Greatest Contribution » reviews"Congratulations, John. You just made your greatest contribution to Independence: you kept your flap shut." And so he did but it was a long, LONG thirty days before Lee returned with the resolution on independency. At least they had Sundays off. Two-shot.1776 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,357 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 1-6-11 - Published: 12-28-10 - Complete155. Just Missed the Call reviewsMere hours before Rachel meets Elfangor, she invites Melissa to go with her and Cassie to the mall.Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,162 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-30-10 - Melissa & Rachel - Complete156. A Dragon Age Christmas Carol reviewsThe year is 9:29 and Howe is on the cusp of deciding to massacre the Couslands when he's visited by four spirits. Can they change his mind on the matter? If they can, just how will they manage to convince him and how 'changed' can he possibly end up?Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,583 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 12-16-10 - R. Howe & Bryce C. - Complete157. How the Loghain Stole Christmas reviewsWell, Loghain's been blamed for everything else so it's about time he's accused of stealing Christmas. Oh, if only it weren't such a dreadfully ORLESIAN holiday...Crossover - Dragon Age & How the Grinch Stole Christmas - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,180 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 12-7-10 - Loghain M. & The Grinch - Complete158. Kmeme Gone Wrong reviewsKmeme is most of the time all in good fun and some of it can be very nicely done. Sometimes, though...sometimes you get THOSE prompts that never should have existed. Prompts like Morrigan turning Alistair into a dog and the PC chasing after him. No smut.Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,240 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 12-6-10 - Alistair & Morrigan159. The Howes' White Sheep » reviewsNathaniel may not have been around when it happened, but it was clear that his father's actions during the Blight had all but destroyed the family name. He wouldn't rest until he found a way to redeem them all. A series of Nathaniel-related BSN prompts.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,145 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 11-28-10 - Published: 9-18-10 - Nathaniel H. - Complete160. I Am Not A Tragic Figure » reviewsAunn Aeducan, practical if sheltered exile, knows only two things for certain: if she returns to Orzammar she'll probably end up actually committing fratricide at some point and it's about time to show the world what a dwarven princess can really do...Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 273,221 - Reviews: 255 - Updated: 11-23-10 - Published: 4-21-10 - Aeducan - Complete161. Chaos at the Landsmeet reviewsAlistair knew that the Landsmeet was supposed to be a very serious, very important affair. Unfortunately, the nobles decided to give Angélique Amell far more power than is good for her or Ferelden and so how could things not quickly devolve into chaos?Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,084 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 10-24-10 - Alistair & Amell - Complete162. Rewriting History reviews"Tell me you're not pregnant." Cameron and Chase talk for the first time since they finalized their divorce.House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,071 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10-24-10 - R. Chase & A. Cameron - Complete163. Top Secret S Rank Mission reviewsAfter Kabuto leaves, Aoba is left to try and explain what's happened to Naruto without revealing what's really going on...and Naruto, it seems, has plenty of questions of his own about this so-called 'S-rank ecology mission.' Recent manga spoilers.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,435 - Reviews: 36 - Published: 10-23-10 - Aoba Y. & Naruto U. - Complete164. Underage reviewsJust before his Calling, Riordan is called upon to explain the events at the Landsmeet that led to Ferelden executing their Wardens and being overrun by darkspawn. It all started when they were judged too young to duel and Eamon was chosen instead...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,686 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 10-22-10 - Riordan & Loghain M. - Complete165. Treachery reviewsArl Howe's treachery takes Bryce Cousland completely by surprise. He should have seen this coming and now he has no idea if his family is even alive or how to get to them, he doesn't think he'll survive leaving, and they don't want to leave without him.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,274 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-16-10 - Bryce C. & R. Howe - Complete166. Why Would Teyrn Loghain Charge? reviewsAgainst Loghain's better judgement, he charges at Ostagar and gets himself killed and the army decimated. In the aftermath at Flemeth's, Alistiar is left wondering why Loghain would do such a horrendous thing. Do or don't, it seems Loghain just can't win.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,150 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 10-14-10 - Alistair & Surana - Complete167. CoAuthor reviewsWhen Adams quoted that section of 'The Necessity of Taking Up Arms' to Jefferson and insisted that the writer of those lines should write the Declaration of Independence, he forgot one very important fact: Jefferson didn't write it alone...1776 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 947 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 10-13-10 - Complete168. Too Pretty To Refuse reviewsAngélique Amell is convinced that Morrigan would consent to being with another woman if only she were pretty enough. Morrigan, while admitting that Angélique is very pretty, is significantly less certain.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,147 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 10-12-10 - Morrigan & Amell - Complete169. I Have A What? reviewsAnastasia Cousland confronts her betrothed about his hereditary elven appreciation everyone keeps telling her about and what it will mean for their relationship only to discover that, as usual, he has absolutely no idea what she's even talking about.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,117 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 10-11-10 - Alistair & Cousland170. Shouldn't Have Gotten Involved reviewsAs Elva slowly succombs to the plague, she remembers just how the Alienage had come to this point. It had all started a year before with two reckless fools who hadn't known how to keep their head down. She had known that it would eventually come to this.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,307 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-10-10 - Elva & Soris - Complete171. Awkward reviewsAlistair attempts to bond with Reidin Aeducan by gossiping about their companions but when he insults Morrigan, who Reidin's involved with, then any attempt at bonding ends and things quickly take a turn for the awkward.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,098 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 10-10-10 - Aeducan & Alistair - Complete172. The Woes of Ser Cauthrien reviewsSer Cauthrien thought she was ready for anything when she was summoned to Howe's Denerim estate but being confronted with the origin-confused Laiarda Mahariel bickering with Queen Anora about how to properly rescue someone proved that wasn't quite true.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,626 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 10-9-10 - S. Cauthrien & Mahariel - Complete173. Prince CousCous reviewsPrince Cousland, a man determined to stop at nothing to be king, is well aware of the treachery planned by Cailan and Howe. They'd figure out about Cailan soon enough but if only they would listen about Howe! Maybe it would help if he were less obnoxious?Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,339 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 10-8-10 - Cousland & Bryce C. - Complete174. We're Not Your Personal Army, Warden reviewsAngélique Amell is shocked and heartbroken when the Landsmeet won't let her be Alistair's Queen and so she decides to take the armies she's gathered up to Soldier's Peak until they change their mind. There's just one problem: they insist they won't do it.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,181 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 9-27-10 - Amell - Complete175. Leliana for Queen reviewsThe worst part for Reidin about making Harrowmont king was that he seemed to want Reidin to succeed him. He doesn't seem to understand the word 'no' but fortunately, Reidin has a backup plan to convince him: insist on making Leliana his queen.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,692 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 9-26-10 - Aeducan & P. Harrowmont - Complete176. Why Can't I Be Queen? » reviewsMary Sue Cousland has just had a brilliant idea: SHE can be sole ruler of Ferelden instead of Alistair or Anora given how much everyone loves her magical Cousland bloodline. Eamon's not quite convinced it will work but that won't dampen her enthusiasm!Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,991 - Reviews: 27 - Updated: 9-25-10 - Published: 9-5-10 - Eamon G. & Cousland - Complete177. Expendable reviewsThe Cousland Warden married Anora so he could bide his time and then use his assassin connections to dispose of her and become king himself. Unfortunately for him, Anora's not nearly as incompetent as he seems to think and isn't about to let that happen.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,519 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 9-24-10 - Anora & Cousland - Complete178. Epic Rescue reviewsThe story of Zevran getting his hand stuck in a 'some dark hole' and attempting to free himself while Taliesin stands around being mostly unhelpful.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 863 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9-14-10 - Zevran A. & Taliesin - Complete179. Is It Worth It? reviewsAfter Anders is brought back to the Circle after his first escape attempt, Irving tries convince Anders that he's going about resisting the Templars the wrong way but only manages to convince Anders that he deserves his contempt. For a BSN prompt.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,195 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 9-10-10 - Irving & Anders - Complete180. Childhood Truths reviewsWhen Nathaniel was younger, he had thought that his father's nose made him look like a monster. As Nathaniel grew to possess the same nose, he forgot this childhood fear and only now realizes that he had been right all along. BSN prompt.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,090 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-10-10 - Nathaniel H. & R. Howe - Complete181. Cailan's Shiny New Title reviewsAU. Ostagar isn't a massacre and the Orlesians help Ferelden defeat the Blight. In the wake of their victory, Cailan announces his plan to leave Anora for Empress Celene and Loghain tries to dissuade him from what he's sure is the end of Ferelden.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,799 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 9-6-10 - Loghain M. & Cailan T. - Complete182. A Fortuitous Fall reviewsOn Zevran's second mission for the Crows he was seduced by his beautiful mage mark and he agreed to speak to the Crows on her behalf...until she broke her neck while kissing him goodbye and he realized she intended to betray him all along.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,262 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-3-10 - Zevran A. - Complete183. Not At All Impressed reviewsWhen the Templar Aeife comes to take Anders back to the Circle for the fourth time, he is decidedly not impressed and, to her great annoyance, decides to rate her efforts to bring him back.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,273 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 9-3-10 - Anders - Complete184. Getting Away With Murder reviewsCaelavel Tabris had never expected that a year after taking the money and walking away, nobody would realize what she and Soris had done. Everything had gone so wrong...Even if no one else knew enough to blame her, she still shouldn't have come back.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,369 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-2-10 - Tabris & Soris - Complete185. In Laws reviewsPost-Blight Loghain and Alistair are stuck alone in a carriage together and all Alistair wants to do is mock Loghain's Orlesian paranoia. This was better than being eaten by the Archdemon, right? It was getting harder to convince himself of that.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,374 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 8-31-10 - Loghain M. & Alistair - Complete186. About My Father's Death reviewsNathaniel's tried to ignore his morbid curiousity but he simply can't do it anymore. He needs to know if there are any truth to the rumors about how his father died and, if not, what really happened. He won't like what he hears but he needs to know.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,553 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-29-10 - Nathaniel H. & Cousland - Complete187. Fun With Pirates reviewsIn which Zevran must infiltrate a pirate ship in order to kill his current target and is seduced by his target's gorgeous wife. A lot. Maybe there was something to this whole piracy thing after all...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,188 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-28-10 - Zevran A. & Isabela - Complete188. If We Kill Him, We Might As Well Join Loghain reviewsAlistair wasn't happy about it, of course, but Angélique knew that if they didn't spare Zevran and allow him to come along then they would, ultimately, be forced to conclude that Loghain was right and they were all too dangerous to be allowed to live.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,800 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 8-27-10 - Alistair & Amell - Complete189. First Time Out reviewsDuring Anders' first escape attempt, he decides that the best thing to do is to get an earring. They looked awesome and would serve as a reminder that he didn't belong in the Tower. He only wished he was a little more certain she knew what she was doing.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,268 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8-27-10 - Anders - Complete190. Exactly What's Wrong With Orzammar reviewsLoilinar Ivo and Oghren Kondrat both knew that the other was really the personification of what was wrong with Orzammar and that drove them to argue like they did. Each time they saw each other was just another reminder.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,962 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-24-10 - Loilinar I. & Oghren - Complete191. A Future King's Second reviewsDulin Forender and Vartag Gavorn both knew what their places in the world were and the future King they intended to serve. Having the opponent on the throne would be a disaster but it was up to them to make sure that didn't happen...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,597 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-23-10 - Dulin F. & Vartag G. - Complete192. When I Get Back reviewsThe day before Zevran is to leave for his mission to Ferelden, he comes across a pair of fine Antivan boots in a store window. He almost buys them but refrains, knowing that should he manage to return he'll need SOMETHING to come back to...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,030 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 8-23-10 - Zevran A. - Complete193. Orzammar's Most Ill Suited Deshyr reviewsLord Helmi deeply resented his fellow nobles and the feeling was more than mutual. He just wasn't quite sure if it was worse to believe his peers were blind to the problems Orzammar faced or if they just didn't care.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,171 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 8-22-10 - Lord Helmi - Complete194. Flesh Golems? Bad Idea reviewsIn the wake of defeating the Harvester and escaping Amgarrak, Aunn Aeducan is left with one question: Why? Just...why? That would have been an incredible waste of time even HAD they managed to salvage that ridiculous and impractical research...Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,836 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-22-10 - Aeducan - Complete195. Orzammar's Version of Practicality reviewsLady Dace was well aware of how people saw her but it didn't matter. She was the embodiment of Orzammar practicality and she would do whatever it took to keep herself and her house on top.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,250 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-21-10 - Lady Dace - Complete196. Best Laid Plans reviewsThe day before the expedition that is to kill Trian and get Reidin exiled, Reidin falls in his duel with Mandar Dace. Looks like Bhelen's going to have to quickly recalculate if he still wants to have Trian killed the next day...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,647 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-21-10 - Bhelen A. & Aeducan - Complete197. Fallen Idol reviewsAdal Helmi had always been more of a fighter than a politician and Aunn had always been her inspiration just by virtue of being a woman with power who chose to live by the sword. Now she was lost over the throne and Adal couldn't see how it was worth it.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,142 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-19-10 - Adal H. & Aeducan - Complete198. Living On Borrowed Time reviewsFrandlin Ivo knew that it was a bad idea for someone like him to get involved in the games played by those more important. He did what he had to do, though, but was aware from the moment he realized Aunn was alive that he was living on borrowed time.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,180 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 8-19-10 - F. Ivo & Aeducan - Complete199. She Never Said Goodbye reviewsThe Blight is over, Sereda Brosca lay dead, and Rica needs to find some way to deal with it. This would be a lot easier to handle if her last encounter with her sister hadn't involved disowning her. Rica knew she would never be able to make this right.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,104 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-17-10 - Rica B. & Brosca - Complete200. You've Been Staring reviewsZevran catches Aunn Aeducan staring at his hair and demands an explanation which quickly leads to him wondering if he should change it and searching for suggestions.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,437 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 8-15-10 - Zevran A. & Aeducan - Complete201. An Unfortunate Encounter reviewsWhile wandering the Fade, Nathaniel and Anastasia come across the spirit of his deceased father.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,953 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-9-10 - Nathaniel H. & Cousland - Complete202. His Preferred Gift reviewsZevran and just why he's so fond of those small gold and silver bars.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 724 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-9-10 - Zevran A. - Complete203. Refusing To Step Aside reviewsTrian's put up with quite a lot from his stubborn little sister over the years but when Bhelen warns him that she means to kill him to take their father's throne he's not about to just stand back and let that happen. Come tomorrow, he'll be ready for her.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,455 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-8-10 - Trian A. & Bhelen A. - Complete204. It's Not A Morality Contest reviewsAfter Odelia Cousland reveals that she's convinced Bhelen's done all he's been accused of but intends to work with him anyway for the greater good, Alistair takes issue with her definition of 'it's for the best' and they have it out.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,580 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 8-7-10 - Cousland & Alistair - Complete205. Dust Town's Really Not All Bad reviewsIn which the ever-optimistic Pollyanna Brosca is determined to believe the best of everything and everyone around her during her origin and things really will work out for the best no matter how much everyone else wonders what's the matter with her.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Parody/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,093 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 8-4-10 - Brosca & Leske - Complete206. On Second Thought… reviewsAfter seeing Alistair reacting badly to his attraction to a Warden he can't stand, Zevran decides to helpfully get involved and try to advise Alistair...until he finds out it's worse than he thought and quickly tries to extricate himself from the mess.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,549 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 8-3-10 - Zevran A. & Alistair - Complete207. The Queens of Ferelden reviewsAfter the defeat of the Archdemon, Arden Cousland goes to visit her predecessor and former lover in prison hoping to talk her out of choosing to die before swearing fealty to their new King.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,883 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 8-2-10 - Cousland & Anora - Complete208. It was Never Going to be a Happy Reunion reviewsKing Endrin lives to see Aunn return to Orzammar a Grey Warden but what, exactly, did one say to the daughter they left to die to avoid a scandal? He supposed forgiveness was too much to ask for.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,776 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-2-10 - Endrin A. & Aeducan - Complete209. She'd Almost Ended It reviewsIf Sereda Brosca had then maybe she wouldn't be here now, watching Alistair trying to break up with her, knowing that this was the only outcome she could live with.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,596 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-31-10 - Brosca & Alistair - Complete210. Impossible reviewsA week before Anora's marriage to Cailan, she and Arden Cousland attempt to figure out what this means for them and if they're willing to keep up an impossible relationship. Warning: light femmeslash.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,634 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 7-25-10 - Anora & Cousland - Complete211. Taking Root reviewsIn the aftermath of planting the inception, Robert Fischer starts to come to terms with his new idea and Cobb's team waits anxiously for him to wake up.Inception - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 917 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 7-21-10 - R. Fischer Jr. - Complete212. Wake Up reviewsMal lives for the day when her husband will realize the truth and come back to her.Inception - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,058 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 7-19-10 - Mal & D. Cobb - Complete213. So, Did You and Oghren Ever…? reviewsRight before Aunn leaves the Keep to return to Orzammar, Sigrun finally works up the nerve to ask if she'd ever been interested in Oghren since he was the only male dwarf around...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,916 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 7-19-10 - Sigrun & Aeducan - Complete214. Meeting With Mini Itachi reviewsAfter joining Akatsuki but before being assigned any missions, Sasuke is forced to endure the company of his brother's former partner who seems determined to annoy him to the point that he begins to miss NARUTO. And why can't he get his name right?Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,628 - Reviews: 91 - Published: 7-14-10 - Sasuke U. & Kisame H. - Complete215. Why Can't You Just Do It? reviewsTo say that Alistair is reluctant to do the Dark Ritual is an understatement. Fortunately, he's just had a brilliant idea: his mage friend and fellow Warden Caunira Surana can do the ritual with him instead, right? Right? Not exactly...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,364 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 7-12-10 - Alistair & Surana - Complete216. Fear of Ruling reviewsBhelen's plot to convince his brother that Trian's out to kill him hits an unexpected snag as he realizes that Reidin's terrified at the prospect of having to rule and views their other brother as his last line of defense...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,113 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 7-2-10 - Bhelen A. & Aeducan - Complete217. Wait, You Already Knew? reviewsPoor Alistair has been worrying for weeks on how to break the news to Angélique that he's the son of King Maric...only to find out that not only was she well aware of this fact but she didn't even realize it was supposed to be a secret.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,482 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 6-30-10 - Alistair & Amell - Complete218. I Quit the Blight reviewsWhen Alistair told Ahria Tabris that being a Grey Warden meant that she wouldn't get pregnant, she believed him. She shouldn't have. Now she's stuck in the middle of a Blight with a child on the way and has to take herself out of the fight...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,009 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 6-23-10 - Tabris & Zevran A. - Complete219. Breaking the News reviewsIn which Gorim attempts to inform Reidin Aeducan of his exile but gets distracted by Reidin's inability to hold a grudge, newfound daddy issues, and his insistence he'd rather go off to the Deep Roads alone to avoid being forced to be responsible...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,550 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 6-16-10 - Gorim & Aeducan - Complete220. Endrin Aeducan and Endrin Aeducan reviewsIn which King Bhelen confronts his Paragon brother Reidin on the fact that they've named their sons the EXACT SAME THING and they try to figure out which one of them should have known better...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,804 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 6-14-10 - Bhelen A. & Aeducan - Complete221. The Myth of the First Warden reviewsAunn fully intends to return to Orzammar after the Blight but Loghain points out that Amaranthine will need an Arl. People won't accept Loghain under normal circumstances but fortunately the pair have got the Myth of the First Warden on their side...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,785 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 5-11-10 - Aeducan & Loghain M. - Complete222. They Can’t All Be Warden Material reviewsAngélique Amell, shallow, self-centered, and rather oblivious though she is, still had no business being so shocked to find out that the ever-stuttering Cullen liked her, at least if you ask an exasperated Alistair and the ancient Wynne.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,595 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 5-4-10 - Amell & Cullen - Complete223. Just End It Already! reviewsAlistair valiantly attempts to save Reidin Aeducan's life by taking the final blow atop Fort Drakon, unaware of Morrigan's dark ritual. Unfortunately, attempting to explain the situation may allow for someone completely unworthy to steal the glory...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,560 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 4-29-10 - Aeducan & Alistair - Complete224. At Least You Avenged Some Ancient Ashes reviewsAfter Wynne and Leliana slay Alistair and the Warden for defiling Andraste's ashes, Morrigan is forced to explain to them that they've just doomed Ferelden and not even to SAVE the ashes. But how were they supposed to know? Warning: character death.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,863 - Reviews: 36 - Published: 4-27-10 - Morrigan & Wynne - Complete225. Oh Well, They Deserved It Anyway reviewsLaiarda Mahariel is eager to use her new status as Grey Warden to right the wrongs of her past...just sometimes she gets a little confused as to who exactly she, personally, needs to seek vengeance on. At least they were all horrible people, right?Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,441 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 4-23-10 - Mahariel & R. Howe - Complete226. But Good Luck With That reviewsCaunira Surana's heard Jowan's mad plan to escape from the Tower...and she wants nothing to do with it. She's been a Mage for two hours and already he wants her to risk Aeonar? Some friend he turned out to be. But still, she hopes it works out for him.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,450 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 4-22-10 - Surana & Jowan - Complete227. Dolores’ Angels reviewsAfter Umbridge invades the DA and brings Harry to the Headmaster's office to be punished, he finds that the name at the top of the incriminating parchment wasn't 'Dumbledore' Army' but 'Dolores' Angels.' Only one thing to do then: Impersonate a fan club.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,373 - Reviews: 252 - Published: 4-20-10 - Harry P. & Dolores U. - Complete228. Of Pets and Exiles reviewsAunn Aeducan knows the importance of connecting with new companions, but when her efforts to talk about pets with Anders makes him run away, she decides to bond about being exiled with the angriest member of the group...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,035 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-15-10 - Aeducan & Velanna - Complete229. No! Mhairi! She Was A Female Warrior! reviewsAnastasia Theirin is greatly upset when one of her recruits dies in the Joining...especially since it was the only female warrior she had and now she has to take Oghren everywhere. Luckily, Alistair stops by on his way to the Bannorn to cheer her up...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,097 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-13-10 - Cousland & Alistair - Complete230. One Night, One Kid, One Problem reviewsReidin is avoiding choosing his father's successor when suddenly he runs into a woman claiming to have had his child. That could very well be true but if he's actually expected to do somethng about it it might be helpful if he had any idea who she was...Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,125 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 4-12-10 - Aeducan & Mardy - Complete231. Four Ways to Avoid Exile » reviewsBhelen's plan was brilliant but it wasn't perfect. If different choices had been made, if things had gone differently then Aunn might never have been exiled and Trian might even have lived. Four ways Bhelen doesn't become heir to the Aeducan throne.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,071 - Reviews: 33 - Updated: 4-8-10 - Published: 3-30-10 - Aeducan & Trian A. - Complete232. You Never Told Us You Were A Princess! reviewsAunn Aeducan has just received word that her father is dead...and all her friends seem to care about is that she never mentioned the whole princess thing. Perhaps it's because they never bothered to pay the slightest bit of attention to her life?Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,995 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 4-6-10 - Aeducan - Complete233. Kyuubi the BuiltIn Best Friend reviewsKakashi is mildly disturbed to see Naruto sporting fox ears and a fox tail and even more disturbed to learn that they were apparently gifts from his new friend: the demon imprisoned inside of him. Is this Therapy Jutsu at work or something else entirely?Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,910 - Reviews: 90 - Published: 4-1-10 - Naruto U. & Kakashi H. - Complete234. Sasuke, I Think I'm Pregnant reviewsSasuke's had his fair share of people claiming to be having his child but he'd never dated any of them before and they had all been decidedly female. Still, Naruto's quite convinced that he IS pregnant and logic isn't about to convince him otherwise...Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,463 - Reviews: 126 - Published: 4-1-10 - Naruto U. & Sasuke U. - Complete235. Greatness Thrust Upon Him reviewsTrian was always supposed to rule Orzammar after Endrin or, failing that, Aunn was. Bhelen's actions changed all that and suddenly he was called upon to become King. If he was going to have any hope of keeping that promise, he knew he'd need Aunn's help.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,990 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-26-10 - P. Harrowmont & Aeducan - Complete236. A Disturbing Pattern reviewsThinking about the Sannin, Naruto comes to an unsettling realization: two of them and their teacher were all killed by a student of theirs. Could the still-comatose Tsunade be next? Needless to say, he's not going to be taking any chances...Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,560 - Reviews: 100 - Published: 3-25-10 - Naruto U. & Sakura H. - Complete237. A Most Awkward Reunion reviewsAnastasia Theirin had never expected to see Nathaniel Howe again and is now left wondering what you said to a man whose father you greatly enjoyed killing. Chances were, the reunion would go a lot smoother if Oghren hadn't decided to tag along...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,434 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 3-23-10 - Cousland & Nathaniel H. - Complete238. Breaking up with a Guy You’re Not Even Dating reviewsWhile marrying off Alistair to Anora, the Queen asks if Aunn will be a factor in their marriage and, upon finding out she won't, requests she lets Alistair know. Despite the fact they're not dating, Aunn agrees. She never said she'd do it the easy way...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,145 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 3-18-10 - Aeducan & Anora - Complete239. A Tragedy, To Be Sure reviewsWhen King Endrin is on his deathbed, Rica hears the rumors of Bhelen's involvement in his siblings' fate and Bhelen is quick to tell her what REALLY happened and how he can't help but feel a little responsible...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,987 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-16-10 - Bhelen A. & Rica B. - Complete240. The Couslands Diabolical Plot reviewsAfter a reluctant Alistair's coronation, Anastasia and Fergus realize they've somehow accidentally managed to control all of Ferelden through possession of both teynirs and marriage to an absentee ruler. Surely this was done intentionally...right?Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,169 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 3-15-10 - Cousland & Fergus C. - Complete241. She Came Through Again reviewsWhen Ahria goes to tell Shianni that she's the new Bann of the Alienage, Shianni reflects on everything that led up to her suddenly becoming part of the nobility and how no matter what her cousin always come through for her.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,596 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-12-10 - Shianni & Tabris - Complete242. The Aeducan Throne reviewsWhen Bhelen's sister returns, he can't quite believe she really intends to help him retake their family throne. He accepts her help, all the while trying to figure out what game she's playing and waiting for her to give her support to the usurper instead.Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,555 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 3-10-10 - Bhelen A. & Aeducan - Complete243. Short One Male Warden reviewsLoghain doesn't survive the Joining and Alistair goes back to his fellow Warden to try and rejoin the team, claiming he was wrong about how morally bankrupt she was. Of course, she insists she's just that bad and would he mind sleeping with Morrigan?Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,026 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 3-9-10 - Aeducan & Alistair - Complete244. It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! » reviewsAfter receiving a time travel jutsu as payment for a mission, the original four members of Team 7 each get a chance to go back to one event in their life and change it. Surely they will use such an awesome power responsibly...right? Don't count on it.Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 36 - Words: 114,547 - Reviews: 5068 - Updated: 3-5-10 - Published: 9-28-09 - Team Seven - Complete245. Don’t Mess With A Dragon Slayer reviewsAt his reuntion with Sereda Brosca, Leske quickly realizes that maybe betraying his dragon-slaying Grey Warden best friend who wants to give him expensive things isn't necessarily the best plan...Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,041 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 3-4-10 - Brosca & Leske - Complete246. There's Something There Or Not reviewsAfter confronting Wynne on her troubling tattling tendencies when Morrigan used blood magic to help save the Circle, Aunn Aeducan gets an unwelcome lecture on relationships she's not even in.Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,244 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 3-2-10 - Aeducan & Wynne - Complete247. Unsatisfactory Familial Relations reviewsDuring the Chuunin Exams, Sasuke and Temari find themselves alone together and end up bonding over the things they have in common: questionably sane teammates and homocidal brothers who could kill them at any moment.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,805 - Reviews: 45 - Published: 2-25-10 - Sasuke U. & Temari - Complete248. Where’s A Disney Death When You Need One? reviewsRiordan survived his assault on the Archdemon and so did the other Grey Wardens. Now, he's quite eager to hear how the Blight was stopped without a sacrifice and the other three Wardens are just as eager to completely avoid the subject...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,148 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 2-23-10 - Aeducan & Alistair - Complete249. Don’t Blame Me, It’s Tradition reviewsAfter an unsatisfying meeting with Goldanna, Lady Aeducan shares her experiences with her family and being a noble and Alistair quickly realizes that the only way for him to stay sane is to find some way to make Anora be Queen instead...Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,374 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 2-16-10 - Aeducan & Alistair - Complete250. About Horizen reviewsFollowing their disastrous first attempt at a reunion on Horizen, Kaidan and Shepard keep in touch and try to figure out why the galaxy hates Shepard, just how much they hate Cerberus, and how to have a better second reunion.Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,742 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 2-11-10 - Kaidan A. & Shepard (F) - Complete251. Please Don't Eat Me! reviewsOn their way home from the failed invasion, Temari and Kankuro attempt to deal with issues related to Gaara's apology, including whether he really means it, if he's going to eat them, and whether Naruto is secretly a cult leader.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,755 - Reviews: 97 - Published: 2-11-10 - Temari & Kankuro - Complete252. Now You’re Just Inventing Problems reviewsAs a Cousland, Anastasia is MORE than noble enough to become Queen and yet Alistair is still muttering some nonsense about duty whenever he's not complaining he doesn't want to be King. Looks like she's going to have to force his hand at the Landsmeet...Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,289 - Reviews: 22 - Published: 2-9-10 - Cousland & Alistair - Complete253. Mating Interrupted reviewsSamara quickly puts a stop to her daughter's attempt to love Shepard to death and the resulting reunion is rather tense, especially with Shepard there saying things no one wants to hear like how being evil doesn't mean you're no longer related...Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,734 - Reviews: 36 - Published: 2-4-10 - Shepard (F) & Morinth - Complete254. Just Where Do You Think You’re Going? reviewsAfter Naruto dragged him back to Konoha, Sasuke settled down with Sakura and had a kid. Tragically, he must have vengeance on Itachi and so eventually leaves again. Or tries to. His wife is NOT happy to be left behind again...Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,894 - Reviews: 64 - Published: 2-4-10 - Sasuke U. & Sakura H. - Complete255. Tobi Calls Australia! » reviewsMary Sue is very excited when she accidentally calls half of the Akatsuki to our world...until they kill her and decide to take over the world. How do they fare and what's happening back in the Narutoverse as a result?Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,472 - Reviews: 94 - Updated: 1-28-10 - Published: 1-21-10 - Itachi U. & Akatsuki - Complete256. Setting An Example reviewsA week after Tsunade starts at the Acadmey, she and Tobirama have a discussion that convinces her that being Hokage is a terrible idea and she should be a Shinobi instead of a Kunoichi. But hey, at least she doesn't think the Uchiha are evil.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,260 - Reviews: 39 - Published: 1-26-10 - Tobirama S. & Tsunade S. - Complete257. Always the Last to Know reviewsWhile having lunch together one day, Iruka and Kakashi realize that everyone in Konoha thinks they are together. Bewildered, they attempt to track the source of these rumors as they barely even know each other. Surprisingly, not Yaoi.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,041 - Reviews: 98 - Published: 1-19-10 - Kakashi H. & Iruka U. - Complete258. Well, He IS Really Old reviewsSasuke and Karin sneak into Konoha with plans to dispose of Danzo once and for all...only to discover he's apparently died of old age. While they try to figure out what to do next, Sai and Naruto show up and suspect foul play...Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,931 - Reviews: 62 - Published: 1-14-10 - Sasuke U. & Naruto U. - Complete259. Dealing with What’s Her Name’s Death reviewsAfter Penny's tragic death, Captain Hammer attempts therapy.Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,371 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 1-14-10 - Captain Hammer & Penny - Complete260. Run that by me again? » reviewsEver wonder 'Why don't they just do that' "A lot of the greatest wizards haven't got an ounce of logic." Harry and Hermione, however, were raised in the muggle world and are therefore fully capable of thinking things through...A collection of of one-shotsHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 21 - Words: 53,842 - Reviews: 1535 - Updated: 12-30-09 - Published: 6-24-08 - Harry P. & Hermione G.261. Feeling Underappreciated? Join the Akatsuki! reviewsSakura and Ino are convinced their teammates think that they're weak. Upon failing to find support from their fellow Kunoichi, they decide that they have no choice but to leave Konoha and join the Akatsuki. Sadly, things do not go quite as planned...Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,927 - Reviews: 41 - Published: 12-26-09 - Sakura H. & Ino Y. - Complete262. Oh God Not Again! » reviewsSo maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 162,700 - Reviews: 8736 - Updated: 12-22-09 - Published: 9-13-08 - Harry P. - Complete263. Are You Sure it Doesn’t Say Arashi? reviewsThe morning after Minato signs with the toads, Minato and Jiraiya try to work out just what Minato signed on the scroll. Minato insists he signed his own name but Jiraiya claims it says 'Arashi'...Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,369 - Reviews: 63 - Published: 12-8-09 - Minato N. & Jiraiya - Complete264. That's It? reviewsMadara tracks down Naruto find out the answer to a very important question: Just how is he so persuasive? Initially reluctant, Naruto agrees if Madara explains his own powers of persuasion. Needless to say, the explanations just make them more confused.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,144 - Reviews: 91 - Published: 12-3-09 - Naruto U. & Madara U. - Complete265. Sasuke's Completely Unnecessary Christmas Carol reviewsSasuke's been wandering alone since Madara's defeat and he's doing fine. Or he would be if Naruto and Sakura would leave him alone. Then to make matters worse his various relatives decide to stage an intervention. What part of 'fine' don't they get?Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,246 - Reviews: 45 - Published: 11-30-09 - Sasuke U. - Complete266. Gaara the Messiah reviews"Look, it was either that or telling everyone you were a zombie." Gaara's resurrection has unexpected consequences when they have to find a way to explain it without mentioning forbidden jutsu. And sadly, those were two of the more reasonable ideas...Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,824 - Reviews: 84 - Published: 11-17-09 - Gaara & Kankuro - Complete267. Of Overthinking Prophecies and Growing a Backbone » reviewsA Macbeth parody in which Macbeth does anything to avoid being called a coward and doesn't believe in witches, no one notices Lady Macbeth is obviously evil, everyone overthinks the prophecies, and Malcolm may be the only sane man.Shakespeare - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,964 - Reviews: 50 - Updated: 11-14-09 - Published: 10-20-09 - Complete268. Worst Chuunin Present Ever reviewsPost-series. Upon making Chuunin, Naruto and Co are called into Tsunade's office to hear some startling news: Naruto is secretly a girl. And apparently a lesbian. And no, she's still not in love with Sasuke. And why does no one ever tell her these things?Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,485 - Reviews: 64 - Published: 11-12-09 - Naruto U. - Complete269. Finally Dealing with the Fallout reviewsAfter confessing her undying love for Naruto, Sakura's convinced it is reciprocated and decides to plan out their relationship. Apparently she didn't discuss it with Naruto, though, and he's got some issues with her to work out. Recent manga spoilers.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,689 - Reviews: 47 - Published: 11-10-09 - Naruto U. & Sakura H. - Complete270. Needless Gender Confusion reviewsIn which a girl Haku decides to protect herself while travelling by pretending to be a boy...without actually changing her appearance in the slightest. Zabuza tries to understand her reasoning, but that seems to be as unbalanced as she is.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,334 - Reviews: 69 - Published: 11-5-09 - Zabuza M. & Haku - Complete271. Well, He’s Got to Start Asking Questions Sometime reviewsDuring his epic battle with Itachi, Sasuke realizes that this may be his last chance for answers and that nothing he's hearing makes any sense so he decides to finally start asking questions. He's kind of new at this, though, so might take awhile...Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,141 - Reviews: 85 - Published: 11-3-09 - Sasuke U. & Itachi U. - Complete272. Talked Into Self Sacrifice reviewsHyuuga Hizashi was just minding his own business when he was accosted by a Hyuuga elder with a mad plan to save Hiashi from his own mistake: talking his twin into agreeing to a trade.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,549 - Reviews: 37 - Published: 10-27-09 - Hizashi H. & Hiashi H. - Complete273. Madara Wants to do WHAT to the Moon? reviewsAfter the summit, Gaara finds Naruto and explains to him what Madara's current 'Master Plan' is. Needless to say, Naruto is not impressed and his faith in Madara's sanity takes a huge nosedive. "He either didn't think this through or he's lying to us."Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,846 - Reviews: 211 - Published: 10-25-09 - Naruto U. & Gaara - Complete274. The Secret Origins of the Bell Test reviewsEven though they both knew it was a bad idea, Hashirama needed an apprentice so Tobirama had to take a team. What they DIDN'T expect was to create the infamous bell test to get out of going over paperwork or to begin to turn the team against the Uchiha…Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,383 - Reviews: 32 - Published: 10-22-09 - Hashirama S. & Tobirama S. - Complete275. Could Have Been Worse reviewsAfter listening to his team complaining AGAIN just because he showed up nine hours late, Kakashi decides he has the worst team ever and wonders what it would be like if he'd gotten a different team...on second thought, maybe Team 7's not so bad.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,589 - Reviews: 76 - Published: 10-20-09 - Kakashi H. - Complete276. Itachi’s First Day reviewsItachi's first day with the Akatsuki doesn't start off the best: Kisame keeps calling him a kid, Orochimaru keeps hitting on him, Sasori turned himself into a puppet, and Zetsu might eat them all. He knew he should've stayed in Konoha…Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,786 - Reviews: 106 - Published: 10-18-09 - Itachi U. & Akatsuki - Complete277. Why are we friends with these people? » reviewsMark and Roger's friends are odd. Very odd. So odd, in fact, that at times they're forced to wonder why they even hang out with them...Takes place during RENT.RENT - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 62,650 - Reviews: 51 - Updated: 10-17-09 - Published: 10-23-07 - Roger D. & Mark C. - Complete278. The Power of Fanaticism versus the Power of Youth reviewsSince Danzo's trial-run as Hokage doesn't really 'work out', it's time to select a new candidate. As the Daimyo is clearly susceptible to loud people, Shikaku only has one choice to prevent Danzo from picking one of his puppets: Maito Gai for Rokudaime.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,769 - Reviews: 67 - Published: 10-16-09 - Kakashi H. & Gai M. - Complete279. Madara’s Dramatic Exit reviewsHashirama and Tobirama were only trying to assure Madara that winning the Hokage battle didn't mean they were planning on destroying the Uchiha, but they end up accidentally inspiring Danzo and feeding Madara's paranoia until he gets fired as clan head…Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,280 - Reviews: 44 - Published: 10-15-09 - Hashirama S. & Tobirama S. - Complete280. Lee's Inexplicable Crush reviewsAfter the Chuunin Exam preliminaries, Neji and Tenten sit down and try and figure out why in the world Lee likes Sakura so much when they have almost nothing in common and practically no shared values. It...doesn't go very well.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,869 - Reviews: 46 - Published: 10-13-09 - Neji H. & Tenten - Complete281. Gai's Very Own Eternal Rival reviewsAfter three years of brooding on his public humiliation, Kisame finally faces Gai again only to realize he has no idea who he is. Well that won't do! The epic battle over Gaara can wait. Let Operation: Remember Me! begin...Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,107 - Reviews: 44 - Published: 10-12-09 - Kisame H. & Gai M. - Complete282. Choosing Chuunins reviewsAfter the invasion, it is left to the Council to decide the results of the Exam. They refuse to promote an invader out of principle but they'd like to promote SOMEONE. And they need a new Hokage. And Itachi will probably be back. And Danzo keeps applying.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,627 - Reviews: 69 - Published: 10-11-09 - Koharu U. & Homura M. - Complete283. He Has A Video Blog? reviewsThe day Dr. Horrible plans to impress the Evil League of Evil, the LAPD decide to google him because of the stolen Wonderflonium and come across his video blog. They are not impressed.Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,245 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 10-10-09 - Dr. Horrible/Billy & Captain Hammer - Complete284. Always My Sister reviewsMission doesn't like Griff's new girlfriend because she thinks she'll hog all of Griff's attention. Griff sits her down and explains that no matter how much he might like Lena, MISSION is his sister and they're stuck with each other.Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,095 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 10-9-09 - Gryph V. & Mission V. - Complete285. Since When is Danzo the Voice of Reason? reviewsUpon hearing that Danzo wants to start treating Sasuke like a missing-nin, Sakura and Naruto run off to beg him to reconsider. Perturbed, Danzo points out that he IS a missing-nin and why they have to start acting like it, regardless of nostalgia.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,910 - Reviews: 37 - Published: 10-9-09 - Naruto U. & Danzō S. - Complete286. Yay We Passed reviewsAfter passing Kakashi's bell test, Naruto asks Sasuke why's he's not more excited. The Uchiha reveals that it was inevitable that they would, not only because he's amazing, but because of politics. His team doesn't understand, so he's forced to elaborate.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,962 - Reviews: 77 - Published: 10-8-09 - Sasuke U. & Naruto U. - Complete287. The Birth of a Rivalry reviewsThough it pains Sakura greatly, she knows that it's for the best that she and her best friend become bitter rivals…over a boy who cannot stand either of them. Ino, naturally, is confused and tries to change Sakura's mind. Inevitably, they get sidetracked.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,998 - Reviews: 27 - Published: 10-6-09 - Sakura H. & Ino Y. - Complete288. Leaf Village? Seriously? reviewsMadara, Izuna, Hashirama, and Tobirama meet to name the village and finalize the constitution. It quickly dissolves into an epic shogi match with Tobirama inadvertantly convincing his students that the Uchiha are evil. It's all harmless, though...right?Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,286 - Reviews: 38 - Published: 10-5-09 - Hashirama S. & Tobirama S. - Complete289. What Were You Doing? reviewsLeft to their own devices, Smith and Morpheus bicker about the definition of 'mammals' and 'viruses', Cypher's motivation, how efficient Agents are, and whether or not the machines have an obligation to take care of the environment, among other things.Matrix - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,417 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 10-3-09 - Morpheus & Smith, A. - Complete290. An Answer at Last reviewsWhen Kiba finds out that Naruto STILL hasn't responded to Hinata's love confession, he drags her off to confront Naruto, who's talking with Sakura, who's convinced he loves HER. Or does he love Sasuke? The time has come to sort this out. Not Kiba/Naruto.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,404 - Reviews: 57 - Published: 10-2-09 - Naruto U. & Kiba I. - Complete291. Oh, Did You Have a Sob Story Too, Sasuke? reviewsNaruto is hurt that Sasuke didn't tell him about Itachi...or did he? Sasuke insists he talks about it all the time but Naruto hears too many sob stories to keep them all straight, Itachi tries to catch up with Sasuke and Kisame just wants to kill someone.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,247 - Reviews: 200 - Published: 10-1-09 - Naruto U. & Sasuke U. - Complete292. I can’t believe I’m fired! Again! reviewsAfter Thirteen is fired again, she runs into Chase and forces him to listen to her most recent tale of woe. Not to worry, he assures her. If she just ignores the fact she doesn't work there and keeps hanging around, she'll have her job back in no time...House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,422 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 9-29-09 - R. Chase & Thirteen/R. Hadley - Complete293. Getting Revenge Without Being a Total Prick reviewsAfter beating Orochimaru, Sasuke hears of Shikamaru's success in getting revenge on Hidan in about a week and decides that since he's made little progress on that himself in the last eight years, he should seek him out and ask for some friendly advice...Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,912 - Reviews: 43 - Published: 9-25-09 - Sasuke U. & Shikamaru N. - Complete294. There’s Faith and then There’s THAT reviewsIn which Jiraiya and the Council team up to try and convince the Sandaime that revealing Naruto's Jinchuuriki status to everyone in Konoha is not exactly the best plan and Sarutobi professes his great faith in the people of Konoha constantly.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,227 - Reviews: 57 - Published: 9-24-09 - Jiraiya & Hiruzen S. - Complete295. You’re Not Hallucinating, Sasuke! reviewsThe night of the massacre, Sasuke decides he must be hallucinating and keeps nitpicking a time-pressed Itachi's attempts to convince him otherwise while deliving his infamous 'I'm evil! Seek Vengeance! Kill your best friend! ' speech.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,584 - Reviews: 132 - Published: 9-21-09 - Sasuke U. & Itachi U. - Complete296. A Deadly Case of Boredom reviewsPre-Movie, third ending. Mr. Boddy is so incredibly good at the blackmail game that he's gotten bored of the whole thing. In an attempt to revive his interest, he and Wadsworth plan a dinner party with his blackmail victims as guests...Clue - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,885 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 9-20-09 - Complete297. Chloe's Birthday Wish reviewsIn Hex, instead of just looking at Lois longingly, Chloe verbalizes her wish to Zatanna, who is at a loss as to why Chloe would want to be Lois. Her attempts to get to the bottom of it lead Chloe to realize maybe she doesn't want to be Lois after all...Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 735 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 9-19-09 - Chloe S. & Zatanna - Complete298. Lex! Come Back! reviewsIn a rare moment of sobriety shortly before Doomsday, Oliver realizes that everyone's lives have fallen apart since Lex left and they no longer have a convenient scapegoat and calls him to try and convince him to return to Metropolis...Smallville - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 825 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 9-18-09 - Oliver Q. & Lex L. - Complete299. Let's Kill Sasuke! reviewsAs per Shikamaru's request, Sakura and Naruto have a chat about whether or not it would be for the best to just kill Sasuke and get it over with or let him continue to be an idiot and possibly start a war. Spoilers for recent Manga chapters.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,221 - Reviews: 40 - Published: 9-18-09 - Naruto U. & Sakura H. - Complete300. Choosing the Fourth reviewsIn which the Third Hokage, the three Sannin, and the Yellow Flash decide on the Fourth Hokage by means of 'not its', addressing a series of hypothetical situations, and seeing who's brave enough to put on Tsunade's cursed necklace.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,764 - Reviews: 97 - Published: 9-12-09 - Minato N. & Hiruzen S. - Complete301. Hamlet’s Trip to the Psychiatrist reviewsModern day AU, after the near-deaths of Hamlet and seven people around him - largely due to Hamlet's own actions - the brooding VP gets sent to a shrink to work out his myriad of issues. Does it work? Not exactly...Shakespeare - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,030 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 9-7-09 - Complete302. Keep Your Eye on the Council reviewsAfter Naruto brings Sasuke back at the Valley of the End, the ever-nefarious Council decides to banish Naruto and make Sauske the Rokudaime. Their plan works perfectly...until Naruto doesn't care, Sasuke runs away again, and Tsunade shows up.Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,736 - Reviews: 92 - Published: 9-4-09 - Naruto U. & Koharu U. - Complete303. It All Started with the Drunken Watchmen » reviewsA Hamlet parody where Horatio tries to convince Hamlet that a tree is not the ghost of his father, Claudius thinks Laertes is his nephew and keeps accidentally confessing, and no one remembers who Polonius is.Shakespeare - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,694 - Reviews: 36 - Updated: 8-29-09 - Published: 8-2-09 - Complete304. Nice Try, Potter reviewsJames can't believe his luck when he finds a series of books all about their future son and can't wait to show Lily so she'll go out with him. What he didn't count on would be how hard it would be to convince her.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,462 - Reviews: 109 - Published: 7-25-09 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete305. The Death and Rebirth of Hope » reviewsWhen Elfangor died, so did hope. It reappeared with the Andalite Bandits at the Yeerk Pool three days later. But what about the time in between, when all seemed lost? What was The Invasion like for someone who already knrew what was going on? Tom's POV.Animorphs - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,260 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 4-22-09 - Published: 4-11-09 - Tom B. & Jake - Complete306. Not Another Impromptu Musical! reviewsDuring the State Championship basketball game at the beginning of HSM3, a West High cheerleader laments the fact that East High can't even get through one lousy basketball game before bursting into song.High School Musical - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,055 - Reviews: 63 - Published: 4-5-09 - Troy B. & Jack B. - Complete307. An Automail Pinky reviewsWhile stuck on the other side of the Gate, Ed encounters a Mary Sue attempting to do Kitten Transmutation and must stay strong while his brother and the Gate Guardian fall prey to Mary Sue's dubious charms all while trying to return to Amestris.Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,323 - Reviews: 18 - Published: 1-22-09 - Edward E. & Alphonse E. - Complete308. Udina's Bad Day reviewsUdina reflects on Shepard's disastrous first day as a Spectre and ultimately decides that, for the good of the galaxy, Shepard must be stopped. That man is a regular PR NIGHTMARE...Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,243 - Reviews: 23 - Published: 1-20-09 - Shepard (M) & D. Anderson - Complete309. Six Years, Six Applicants » reviewsChronicling Dumbledore's never-ending and sometimes desperate attempts to fill the Defense Against the Dark Arts postion with anyone but Snape and Snape's persistent attempts to land the job anyway.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,536 - Reviews: 255 - Updated: 1-19-09 - Published: 1-5-09 - Albus D. & Severus S. - Complete310. Where Does It Keep Its Brain? reviewsWhat if, instead of going back for Ginny's diary, Arthur decided to owl it to her? What if he discovered it wrote back? What if he took this knowledge to Moody and Dumbledore? The Chamber of Secrets has NOT been opened. Enemies of the heir, rejoice.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,839 - Reviews: 63 - Published: 12-30-08 - Arthur W. - Complete311. A Smallville Christmas Carol » reviewsLionel Luthor hates Christmas. He's also, sadly, doomed. Can a Christmas Carol experience turn his life around before he destroys himself, his son, and everyone around them? Takes place during second season.Smallville - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,092 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 12-26-08 - Published: 12-20-08 - Lionel L. & Lex L. - Complete312. No Thank You reviewsWhat if the Dursley family had taken the more practical route of treating Harry kindly in order to keep him away from magic? What if it worked? What if he wants nothing to do with the wizarding world and Dumbledore has to solve his own problems for once?Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,608 - Reviews: 251 - Published: 11-22-08 - Harry P. & Albus D. - Complete313. Edric reviewsShamelessly playing on the fact that they are played by the same actor, the true backstory of Edward Cullen is revealed, at last!Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,081 - Reviews: 49 - Published: 11-10-08 - Cedric D. & Carlisle - Complete314. Kreia's a what? » reviewsIn which an incredibly unobservant Exile stumbles her way through the end of the game, starting with the Jedi Enclave and refusing to believe that Kreia's a Sith, no matter HOW many people she's manipulated, blackmailed, or killed.Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,456 - Reviews: 47 - Updated: 6-26-08 - Published: 5-21-08 - Exile/Meetra Surik & Atton R. - Complete315. Why the wait? reviewsIn which Julia uses her question-and-answer time in the Ministry of Love to try and solve the mystery of why it took O'Brien seven years to finally getting around to arresting Winston.1984 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,577 - Reviews: 31 - Published: 6-24-08 - Complete316. Not a Main Character reviewsShortly after Cally dies, the Main Characters call a meeting to discuss why Tory is, in fact, not a Main Character and never will be and end up speculating on the Final Cylon.Battlestar Galactica: 2003 - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,803 - Reviews: 21 - Published: 6-4-08 - K. Thrace/Starbuck & L. Adama/Apollo - Complete317. Isn't it obvious? reviewsAfter another Chamber of Secrets incident, Myrtle takes it upon herself to explain to her Potions class exactly what has been attacking everybody. Unfortunately, it's Potions with Slytherin.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,038 - Reviews: 59 - Published: 4-30-08 - Myrtle & Tom R. Jr. - Complete318. My Virgin Ears! reviewsWhat if, instead of meeting Roger, Mimi encountered Mark on Christmas Eve and tried to flirt with him? Parody of 'Light My Candle'RENT - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 860 - Reviews: 21 - Published: 4-25-08 - Mark C. & Mimi M. - Complete319. You're Not Her reviewsUpon arriving at the Leviathin, Malak reflects on Revan and how this girl standing in front of him that looks so much like her simply isn't the friend-turned-master he'd always known, no matter what the Jedi say.Star Wars - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,379 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 2-17-08 - Darth Malak & Revan - Complete320. Seems to Me You're Rather Desperate reviewsIt's more than clear that Benny couldn't stand that Akita, Evita, and was glad that she died. Is that all there is to the story, however? What if Benny had a slightly more...active role in his dog's demise?RENT - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,135 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 1-20-08 - Benny C. & Angel D. - Complete321. Lunch reviewsSatoshi usually eats alone. Daisuke usually eats with Risa. One day, though, Daisuke decides to try eating lunch with the boy who's convinced they're enemies.D N Angel - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 525 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 1-14-08 - Daisuke N. & Satoshi H. - Complete322. How Could He? reviewsWhen Mimi blew out her candle to meet him, she never thought it would end like that, but it did. Now Roger's gone and she DOESN'T plan on staying in rehab. How could she? How could HE?RENT - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 748 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 10-31-07 - Mimi M. & Roger D. - Complete323. The Red Heir of Slytherin reviewsRon and Hermione's trip to the Chamber of Secrets, where Ron gets over his inferiority complex and Hermione discovers that anyone can speak Parseltongue if they're unobservant enough.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,950 - Reviews: 53 - Published: 9-8-07 - Ron W. & Hermione G. - Complete
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