ALL GUARDIAN READERS!! THE SEQUEL IS NOW UP! TITLE: THE ENLIGHTENMENT!

"Well behaved women rarely make history."-anonymous

Note: All quotes that you see here are from a large old notebook that I have. All of them have been collected during times when I found them memorable or inspirational...or funny.

And Another Note: Everything in this profile is pretty much the mass of crap that runs through my head. Scientists are not exactly sure if it should be classified as crap, but they were quite perplexed with the composition of my mind. You have been warned.

Screen name: Heartdamoose, but you can call me Moose, Moosie, or Smoose. Well you can call me anything actually. I’m a rather versatile person. Just don’t call me radish.

Likes: Sleeping, jogging, and Captain Jack Sparrow. I’m definitely a morning person, and start every day with my favorite music and a victory dance.

Dislikes: Moose hunters, boys who don’t recycle, fake people, and radishes.

Interests consist of pretending I can play the piano when I really don't know how to play, dramatic speeches, Navaho rug weaving, eating Dutch Cucumbers, Civil War reenactments, plotting to take over the world, creating allusions to burnt popcorn, and watching brave little toaster.

Oh...and I like to rap. Don’t believe me? Awesome.

“All alone!
Whether you like it or not,
alone is something you'll
be quite a lot”-Dr. Seuss

Gender: Female > male :)

Age: I've decided I'm immortal. Age no longer matters to me.

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me.”-Dr. Seuss

Height: Friends call me the glamazon. I’m tall and proudly wear stilettos.

"Not only did you miss the point, I think you flew past the point and hit some innocent bystanders"-Draco

Born: I was born into the life of windmillery.

Odd things about me: I cry during MasterCard commercials, Bob Ross is my idol, I love petting zoos, I’m in denial that Steve Irwin is dead, and I wish I was an amoeba

"Chia-like I shall grow" -Moose

“Freakin’ your trip since 1991" - Moose

Hair: brown. curly. can be straight if I glare at it long enough.

Eyes: My god I don't know. I can't see my eyes.

"Use what talent you possess. The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best." -Henry Van Dyke

Languages: English is my first language. I used to think I was fluent, but my intelligence is slowly disintegrating. I can also speak some German in a near fluent manner. I also speak music, and read it with ease.

Movies: V for Vendetta, Titanic, Finding Neverland, Edward Scissorhands, Willie Wonka, Pirates of the Carribean. Anything scary. Anything epic. Anything moose.

“Stuck on a boat with a weird French Guy? That sounds a little gay...” -Eurotrip

TV: Grey’s Anatomy, Pushing Daisies, House, Scrubs, Travel Channel (don’t ever doubt it)

Music: It’s what feelings sound like.

“It felt really odd not sitting at my old table. Especially because it was palm pilot synchronization day.” – Scrubs

“God will never put you through something you can not survive through.” –Jeff

“I would pack my bags, just to stay in the corner of your heart.”

Footprints in the Sand

By Mary Stevenson

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

“We may know how many seeds are in an apple, but only God knows how many apples are in a seed.”

“If the lady in blue wasn’t behind you, I would destroy you.”

“You know, I wish you had more personality.”

"There's no one alive who is youer than you." -Dr. Seuss

"I don't think even I knew how I knew. You just know, you know?" –The Guardian

"Oh him? He's our section leader. Well...sorta." -Nick

"So it was going to be one of those days."

Okay...so here is a little bit about me. I luv moose. They're my favorite animal. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed, but I really like them. I'm gifted at making things out of duct tape, such as purses, wallets, my prom dress...um. clones--haha...no, gotcha! I am a poet...I guess, though I haven't had much time to write anything of interest. I have a weakness for writing terribly long reviews and even longer chapters. What else about me...I'm a SENIOR in highschool (09!), absolutely loving it.

I am currently about to attend Interlochen, a prestigious school for the performing arts, where I am striving for a major in Music performance on the trombone, which, mind you, is a lot harder than you think and All right I'm gonna stop typing because there is the FUCKING THING in my eye. Damn you you piece of shit (though I really hope it isn't) get the hell out of my eye before I burn you ass off with a blow torch. And if I could glare at you I would!! but I can't!! you know why? BECAUSE YOU'RE IN MY EYE!!

"Dance, which is life, is elegance upon blistered feet"-anonymous

"For many years, I shut down that place inside myself that needed to rage, cry, ask questions and basically just express herself. I made a conscious choice when I put 'Me and a Gun' on the record not to stay a victim anymore."-Tori Amos

“As I was thinking... ‘well that was dumb...’” - Moose

On Harry Potter:

First of all. EVERYONE should go and visit this awesome Harry Potter forum site. It's a forum about Harry Potter where you can buy items, earn galleons, take classes, go up years. It's really fun, and you get to make great friends with lots of houses.

http://thirdcorridor.proboards60.com/index.cgi

and if you become a member and post in the sorting hat to get sorted into your house, say I recommended you, mm kay?

Ships:

well hmmm... I'm not a picky person, so I'm up for anything as long as the writing isn't that horrid. But I am a pretty good Ginny/Malfoy shipper, it's a pretty cute pairing. Now I'm not saying I won’t ever read Hermione/Malfoy, but I just like it. I recently got into Hermione/Severus by reading a few pretty good fics. I used to not be fond of Ginny/Harry. For some reason the thought was just repulsive, but it's actually pretty good now that I think of it.

"Fuck it. Slytherin tactics are now necessary. Turn this whole thing around on her."

Now, I must add that I am partial to the comedies of Harry Potter, being the funny lover that I am. I also really like romance fics, but if it's too sappy (in a ridiculous, omg you're going to make me puke way) then I won't like it. But like I've said, I'm a pretty flexible person when it comes to things, and I end up liking pretty much everything and never favoring one over the other. So obviously I've never been good at making my own choices. lol. I'm also interested in those fics in which Snape is Harry's father, those are really interesting. But what I've been waiting for, for quite some time now, is a good suspense fic. You know, something that will really get me on the edge of my seat. Like Dan Brown. now THAT is what I call a fic. Something that can get your heart rate up deserves to be published, despite the originality problems.

"The biggest turn you can make in your head, is from victim to survivor."-heartdamoose

"God gave us memories that we might have roses in December."-J.M. Barry

“Bring bread if you wanna get with me!” – Moose

My fics:

Grocery Shopping: A one-shot fic that has the humor of Severus revealed! After the war, he is forced to earn the ministries trust by doing a muggle activity: grocery shopping. And here we all thought that Severus could handle himself in such a simple task.

Croissants and Shower Stalls: A five chapter long romance of the pairing Bella and Severus (which is actually only three because I never finished it. But you can go ahead and read it if you want).

May the Best Prank Win: A little humor fic that is basically a prank war between Fred and George. my chaos at it's Harry Potter best. those who are serious in life, beware. A good stress reliever though (lol. Also not exactly finished… . )

Some Call it Loyalty: A very small fic (3 chapters) just about Severus and where his loyalties lie, and how it ties into a little romance with Bellatrix. Just a little thing for fun. (COMPLETED!!)

Follow The Butterflies: HP: A Fic about Ronald Weasely as he struggles to summon his patronus. However, when he finally does, his only wish is to make it go away again. What some may say is only a small patronus mistake, soon turns into a blackmail scandal where reciting poetry to Professor McGonagall and seeing what really goes on in Fred and George's rooms soon leads into one of the biggest tear jerkingly hilarious events of all.

The Guardain: TP: It's about this girl named Romeli who was found by Daine and Numair and are her foster parents. Romeli has a powerful and sometimes dangerous gift. She is also a wild mage, and true enough she has some other unexpected powers that even she doesn't know about. As she struggles with her inner self, balancing between maddness and sanity, there is also physical problems involving love, enemies, betrayal, and many other unexpected casualties. What she doesn't know, is that Scanra will do anything to get to her, even start a war to capture her powers. Can she stop the war before time runs out and Tortall falls forever?

Road to Chaos: A Poem: TP: It's a whole bunch of poems that have to do with The Guardian. It's pretty sad, but it gives you a lot of clues on what will happen later in the story.

The I Hate Jonathan of and DeliaFan Club: Okay well the thing is that I hate Jon, Delia, and also Cleon. So I decided to make a ficlet where I can just kill them off multiple times for my own amusement. Then I decided to also add in some fluff. So I also threw in some of my fav pairings in there as well. And well it's just really stupid and pointless (yet tear worthy halarious) chapters that have Kel and her friends, Alanna, Daine, going through dramatic and random events. In a couple chapters...I also threw in some LoTR and HP cause I was bored. There is one chapter for example where Neal and Kel switch minds. it's funny.

Death of a Champion:Alanna is captured by enemies. And after a year of torture she is executed. The second chapter is when George finds out. Finished.

Bloody Dagger Through her Heart: A poem/fic based off of my friend's poem. Kel is in love with someone and is going down as she tries to fight it. And I think I'm going to take it off soon cause it's kinda stupid. Actually...It's very stupid. Don't read it.

"Bloody hell, bugger and sod this you daft tart, or in other words stupid bint, since you're such a dickhead that it would be a shite response to actually give much of an arse." --Smokey's Yorkshire Friend

“If I could I would keep this feelin’ in a plastic jar. Bust it out whenever someone’s actin’ hard.” –Atmosphere

“Cheesy Mexican Troubadour who sings unbelievably insulting songs about the people he serenades.” – Who’s Line

“Amen to that Seabear.”-Scrubs

"The game begins with a tip of the hat and a swig of the beer..." -Zak Hain

ahem

FOLLOW THE BUTTERFLIES THE MOVIE:

Kazoolyband and I have FINALLY finished the short movie Follow The Butterflies. Completely based off of our fanfiction Follow The Butterflies (In fact it IS the fanfiction...just in movie form). The movie was made by us (by us meaning mostly Kazoo), our voices, our legos, our awesome stop-motion technique. Is the fanfiction too long for you? Just not a reading fan? Well you can just watch the whole thing instead!

It is a four part movie (since it's so large). Here is the link to the first part.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr_9T8pYfqg

HAPPY WATCHING!!

And with that, I shall leave on an awkward note...

I am a sex camel.