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Author has written 37 stories for Batman, and Batman the Animated Series. Salutations! I am the one known as Checkerboards. I try to keep to a schedule of updating my stories on Wednesdays. I also now have a handful of Batman music videos on YouTube featuring the Joker and Harley Quinn, the Scarecrow, the Mad Hatter, and Talia al Ghul. Let's talk reviews for a minute. I absolutely adore getting reviews, as I'm sure every writer does. They make me very happy, they give me incentive to keep writing, and sometimes they even give me new ideas that take stories in fabulous new directions. However, at this point, I've got two options - write stories, or reply to reviews. If you ask a direct question, I'll try to answer it, but that's about all I can promise at the moment. Oh, and DC owns most of the characters used below, and I'm just borrowing them for a bit to give them a little adventure or two. Yeah, that's it. 'Borrowing'. Likewise, my avatar, which is based off of 'The Craven', was made by Rumielf. (And if you'd like to borrow any of my characters - like Jackie or Sorrow - then by all means, go for it!) Speaking of DC, while you read these stories, bear in mind that I don't completely integrate my stories into comics canon. The Gotham my stories take place in is a Gotham that's never had an earthquake or a plague or a massive gang war or any of the other stuff that's gone down in the past few years. (It is, however, a Gotham where ridiculous things happen on a daily basis, because let's face it - every city on earth is a place where ridiculous things happen on a daily basis. Why should Gotham be immune?) If you're here to read "Get Out of My House!", a tale of wacky fun about the Riddler, you might be happy to know that it's the first of many in a series! The order is as follows: "Get Out of My House!", "Housemates", "Home Sweet Home", "Homesick", "Playing House", "Home is Where the Heart Is" and "Beach House". And if you're in the mood to read about an original villain's misadventures, I urge you to check out my stories about Sorrow. They are, in order, "Origins", "Breaking", "Shattered", "Reciprocity", "Reinventing" and "Rejoicing". Aside from that, most of the other stories stand alone in my little universe - with the exception of my crossovers, which stand alone in a field on a planet far, far away from the rest of this craziness in lands where just about anything goes. Crazed AIs with a thirst for Science? Happy little headcrabs? A wall of femurs? You betcha! "When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical may be madness. To surrender dreams, this may be madness. To seek treasures where there is only trash...Too much sanity may be madness, and maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be." - Miguel de Cervantes | |||||||
1. Going for Broke » reviewsAh, Arkham Asylum, the place that Gotham loves to hate. But Arkham's out of money! What schemes will unfold to keep Gotham's least loved landmark in business?Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,067 - Reviews: 49 - Updated: 3-21-12 - Published: 11-2-11 - The Joker - Complete2. Beach House » reviewsThe sequel to 'Home is Where the Heart Is'. Eddie and Jackie are getting away from all their problems with a nice trip to the beach. But some problems never go on vacation...Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,406 - Reviews: 48 - Updated: 9-14-11 - Published: 6-8-11 - The Riddler - Complete3. Rejoicing » reviews-Sorrow 6- "If thou sorrow, he will weep; if you wake, he cannot sleep; thus of every grief in heart he with thee doth bear a part." - Richard BarnfieldBatman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,273 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 3-30-11 - Published: 2-2-114. Occupational Hazards » reviewsWhat is the Hatter if he isn't mad?Batman - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,467 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 12-8-10 - Published: 8-30-10 - Mad Hatter - Complete5. Reinventing » reviews-Sorrow 5- "The error of one moment becomes the sorrow of a whole life." - Chinese proverbBatman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 34,170 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 8-23-10 - Published: 10-20-086. Worth a Thousand Words » reviewsRiddle me this, riddle me that, who is the man inside the Bat?...oh, it's Bruce Wayne. Wait, what?Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,825 - Reviews: 40 - Updated: 8-9-10 - Published: 7-12-10 - Bruce W./Batman & The Joker - Complete7. Three Rogues and a Baby » reviewsWho knew babysitting could be this much fun? *CAT*Batman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,961 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 1-5-10 - Published: 12-14-09 - Scarecrow & The Riddler - Complete8. Child's Play » reviewsIt's never too late to have a happy childhood...with a little help from your friends, of course.Batman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,392 - Reviews: 30 - Updated: 12-7-09 - Published: 11-23-09 - Poison Ivy & The Riddler - Complete9. Dashing Through the Snow reviewsJingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to run from the cops on Christmas Day!Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,404 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 1-5-09 - The Riddler - Complete10. Medical Help » reviewsDr. Crane, meet Dr. Horrible. Dr. Horrible, meet Dr. McNinja. Dr. McNinja, meet Batman. Readers, meet impending crossover insanity.Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 20,193 - Reviews: 49 - Updated: 12-12-08 - Published: 9-12-08 - Scarecrow & Bruce W./Batman - Complete11. Trick or Treat! reviewsIt's Halloween, and that means another fiendish plot from the Scarecrow! Of course, with his luck, it's bound to be mostly trick and very little treat...Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,776 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 10-30-08 - Scarecrow & Bruce W./Batman - Complete12. If reviewsWhat does it take to be a villain? Apologies to Rudyard Kipling.Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 265 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 9-29-08 - Complete13. Home is Where the Heart Is » reviewsThe sequel to 'Playing House'. The year in Gotham is drawing to a close, but Jackie and the Riddler have some unfinished business with certain acquaintances...and each other.Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,261 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 9-16-08 - Published: 9-1-08 - The Riddler - Complete14. Reciprocity » reviews-Sorrow 4- We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them. - Kahlil GibranBatman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 20,136 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 8-20-08 - Published: 8-11-08 - The Riddler - Complete15. Freak Accidents » reviewsTentacles, polymorphs, and mutants! Where does Gotham get those wonderful freaks?Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,395 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 8-18-08 - Published: 7-28-08 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete16. Dinner and a Show reviewsLights! Camera! Joker!...oh, this can't be good.Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,621 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 8-12-08 - The Joker & Harley Quinn - Complete17. Shattered » reviews-Sorrow 3- There is no greater sorrow than to be mindful of the happy time in misery. - Dante AlighieriBatman - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 30,030 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 8-4-08 - Published: 5-22-08 - The Joker & The Riddler - Complete18. Cake or Death? » reviewsThe Riddler finds himself locked in the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Crossover with the video game Portal.Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,054 - Reviews: 34 - Updated: 7-30-08 - Published: 5-20-08 - The Riddler - Complete19. Playing House » reviewsThe sequel to 'Homesick'. Thanksgiving is a time for family togetherness. But how do you tell your family that your new job is henching for the Riddler?Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,713 - Reviews: 57 - Updated: 5-1-08 - Published: 3-7-08 - The Riddler - Complete20. Breaking » reviewsSorrow shared is sorrow halved. -Sorrow 2-Batman - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 19,420 - Reviews: 26 - Updated: 4-8-08 - Published: 2-25-08 - Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy - Complete21. Green Eyes » reviewsEverybody wants to rule the world. Well, Ra's al Ghul and Poison Ivy do, at any rate. Too bad for them that their plans didn't account for everyone's favorite lovesick assassin...Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,660 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 2-29-08 - Published: 2-14-08 - Bruce W./Batman & Talia al Ghul - Complete22. Origins » reviewsO, sorrow! Why dost borrow heart's lightness from the merriment of May? - John Keats -Sorrow 1-Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,640 - Reviews: 25 - Updated: 2-19-08 - Published: 1-28-08 - Complete23. Homesick » reviewsThe sequel to 'Home Sweet Home'. The lairs are destroyed, there's a trio of women out for blood, and the Riddler's in Arkham. What's a henchgirl to do?Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,653 - Reviews: 35 - Updated: 2-7-08 - Published: 1-14-08 - The Riddler & Scarecrow - Complete24. Animal House reviewsPets are wonderful. But for Harley Quinn, sometimes hyenas just aren't enough...Batman - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,566 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 1-24-08 - The Joker & Harley Quinn - Complete25. The Craven reviewsJonathan Crane has an encounter with a certain grim and ominous ebony figure. A parody of Edgar Allan Poe's 'The Raven'.Batman - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 798 - Reviews: 22 - Published: 1-21-08 - Bruce W./Batman & Scarecrow - Complete26. Time Crisis » reviewsThe distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.' Unfortunately for Gotham, Einstein was all too right.Batman the Animated Series - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,486 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 1-10-08 - Published: 1-3-08 - Complete27. Home Sweet Home » reviewsThe sequel to 'Housemates', in which Jackie and the Riddler learn why copycats are dangerous, why heists are not spectator events, and why skipping dessert is always a good idea.Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,969 - Reviews: 40 - Updated: 12-31-07 - Published: 12-13-07 - The Riddler & Harley Quinn - Complete28. The Night Before Christmas reviewsWhat would Santa give the Scarecrow? A parody of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas'.Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 567 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 12-26-07 - Scarecrow - Complete29. Housemates » reviewsThe sequel to Get Out of My House! Jackie's survived her encounter with the Riddler...so far. But he's not the only rogue in Gotham...Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,640 - Reviews: 32 - Updated: 12-10-07 - Published: 11-28-07 - The Riddler & Scarecrow - Complete30. Grim Grinning Ghosts reviewsIt's Halloween, and TwoFace's henchgirls demand entertainment in the form of a haunted house. But they're not the only ones taking advantage of some seasonal fun...Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,622 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 11-26-07 - Two-Face & Scarecrow - Complete31. Go With A Smile » reviewsThe Joker and Harley Quinn are on an unexpected vacation...in Valkenvania. Oh, God, what have I unleashed upon the world? Crossover with the movie 'Nothing but Trouble'.Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,908 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 11-21-07 - Published: 11-5-07 - The Joker & Harley Quinn - Complete32. Get Out of My House! » reviewsQ: When is the Riddler's lair not a lair? A: When it's someone else's apartment.Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,902 - Reviews: 36 - Updated: 11-3-07 - Published: 10-15-07 - The Riddler - Complete33. Gotham at Night » reviewsYou haven't heard the real story until you've heard it from the sources themselves. Chapter 11: ScarecrowBatman - Rated: T - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 7,841 - Reviews: 19 - Updated: 10-14-07 - Published: 4-13-0534. Masque's Off! » reviewsAh, Halloween. Time for candy, parties, and total psychological meltdowns courtesy of Jonathan Crane. What could be better? The party planners of Gotham have some ideas that the Scarecrow's not going to like...Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,730 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 10-10-07 - Published: 10-5-07 - Scarecrow - Complete35. Breaking the Ice » reviewsVictor Fries: convicted felon, mutated scientist...loving husband? What will life be like now that Nora's out of the tube and healthy again?Batman the Animated Series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,362 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 10-8-07 - Published: 5-26-07 - Complete36. Three's a Crowd » reviewsA dummy, a puppet and a pawn, served up warm with a twist of Cyrano de Bergerac.Batman - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,548 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 1-10-05 - Published: 12-2-04 - Complete37. Don't Throw Stones » reviewsPoison Ivy's going up against her most unlikely foe ever...Mother Nature.Batman - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,737 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 11-7-04 - Published: 10-27-04 - Poison Ivy & Bruce W./Batman - Complete
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