Poll: Who's your all time favourite classic or 'real talent' actress? XxX If I forgot anyone, please message me and let me know. If I agree with you, I'll add her to the list of choices XxX Vote Now!
Author has written 18 stories for Harry Potter.
Meryl is my shiny and new cell phone! And she needs to be welcomed into the MP/AS family where there is no disowning or sad stories -looks over to a certain friend (-cough-Anna-cough-) and then laughs-
GODDAMNIT!! Meryl fell into a bowl of cereal and died. That makes it TWELVE cell phones that I've gone through since 2003! And in order to compell my new phone not to short circut, throw itsself in front of a moving truck, jump off of another two story building or drown in my cereal, I've named it (with the aid of my grandmother, also known as Voldemorticia) Survivor.
(Just a little note to Ashly Potter: I think I win on the longest profile ever contest! Thus you lose!Hee-hee!) - 2003
Yeah... I've kicked your ass, Fawkes. lol - 2008
And, Fawkes; If you happen to go on this profile (for god knows why), PM me and tell me your username. lol I've since forgotten and I want to see if my profile is actually longer than yours or not... I'm just assuming now. lol
I am just some randomperson that is obsessed with AD/MM pairing. (Not no mores!) I have a billion AD/MM's, (That will never see the light of day because I'm waaaaaaaaaay too lazy to type them.) so you'll be seeing those. (Yeah... In your dreams) Tee-hee. I do LE/JP sometimes, but right now I only have one. Just read my stuff, and you'll probably see why my friends and family members rolled their eyes when told I joined this site (Do you know how many people I have had to explain what fanfiction is to? It's kind of embarrassingly sad! Aparently the people I know have no lives! Except for Ms.Garlit! She reads and writes fanfiction and she is a teacher! She shares me theories on Harry Potter and her, and I and AnimeWolf talked for a whole half of an hour on our theories! Anyways, moving on with my bio!)), but I do bet that they're happy not to have to try and read my horribly messy handwriting anymore. Ha-ha...yeah...just read and I have a better thingie on my profile so be happy now! Don't worry, be happy! Oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo! Don't worry, be happy now! Don't worry! Be happy!
Wow... I was a little crackhead when I wrote this, huh? -looks at her former self- -shakes her head slowly-
Also: I saw the above paragraph that I wrote HELLA DAYS AGO and saw me mentioning something about me being civil to that fat slutty bitch also known as AnimeWolf or Jillian, the back stabbing skank, and I wanted to make clear to anyone that comes across this page that I would rather drown myself in my own feces than look at her ever again.
My Yahoo email address/screen name is :, My Aol email address/screen name is . My MSN screen name is
I've developed an obsession of sorts with Meryl Streep... Well, it's more of an I'm-in-love-with-her-and-want-to-jump-her-bones-until-she-divorces-her-husband-and-becomes-a-lesbian thing... Heh... You have no idea what my poor friends have been through... You thought my obsession (not lust, but love like a sweet famous grandmother... heh "My grandma bought me Starbucks... The whole chain!") with Maggie Smith was bad... Heh... I have a colour coded obsession list... (My computer crashed) I think I kept it on my GLEE... Let me go look... Apparently I didn't... -insert virtual scowl here- And GLEE is retardred... (But I DO have the list on my poll at the top of the page. They're nowhere near in order, but I plan on doing them in order of obsession and posting the list right above where my quotes start once I have the time) Grrr... They killed my video of Meryl Streep kissing Allison Janney; one of the only joys I have in this world!! XP But I've gotten my own silent vengence by going to YouTube and gathering a ton of Meryl videos and putting those on my page instead.. By the way; if you're gay and want a MySpace that's geared towards you, go toIt's kind of amazing, I love it.
Okay, I never really took the time to mention my ships, so I'll do it now.
And! Oh my gods. I have become obsessed with a real people ship. I think Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep should jump each other and live happily ever after. And, yes, I do realize that I'm not only letting Meryl cheat on me with her husband, but with Helen Mirren as well. But I'm willing to risk it on the off chance that I'll get to see Helen and Meryl snogging somewhere. I mean, check out my icon near the top of the page. Helen's on the left and Meryl's on the right. No joke.
Don't look at me like that! I'm on a lesbian kick, fuck off. lol :-P
I'm looking for any femmeslash fanfiction that has to do with any of Meryl Streep's characters in any of her movies. If you find any, please don't hesitate to let me know
I've had some others, mostly Harry Potter that I don't really follow anymore: Albus/Minerva, Severus/Minerva, Lily/James, Harry/Ginny, Harry/Ron, Harry/Hermione, Minerva/Rolanda, Minerva/Hermione, Minerva/Just about any female memeber of the Hogwarts staff, and some others that I can't remember...
Don't You Just Hate That? - These are the originals
14. That your requirements in a mate become stricter as you grow older, and your good looks wane, making it harder to attract even the mediocre people you no longer find acceptable.
(There's more, I just have to go to work! More later!)
These are -my- Don't You Just Hate That?'s
Things I Learned From SpongeBob
Proper IM Etiquette
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SoAndSo(4:37 pm): goes and gets a cookie
See? It confuses people and it’s wrong. Now let me show you the right way.
SoAndSo(4:37 pm): ~goes and gets a cookie~
Proper IM Etiquette #7:
One time I was in a Marauders (James, Sirius, Remus, Peter But Lily was included, I role played as her! ) Role Play and we had been role playing for about two and a half hours. Then, suddenly, the guy who was supposed to be Sirius says, “Who are The Marauders?”. No one spoke…erm…typed for ten minutes. We all signed off and left him there, I was the last to sign off and simply typed to him; “LEandJP(11:53 pm): walks away muttering pity…what a pity…”, and then I just left. Didn’t even wait for him to respond, just left. Follow at least this rule and don’t be the one left out.
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Just close the stupid unresponding person’s window, get alife,and talk to someone else for god’s bloody sake.
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365 Reasons to STOP Dieting
1. Diets DON'T work.
I'll never finish these either... Same reason as the Don't You Just Hate That? list...
Here are some quotes of my friends that prolly won't seem funny to most of you, but if you are one of my friends then you will get some of them:
"If all else fails, read the directions" -Mr. Keegan, during math; on people skipping the directions and just trying to do the work
"Why do stories always seem to end well when life simply doesn't want to?" -Me, on a bad day, writing a fluffy story
"I'm not stupid, I'm just wrong an awful lot"
"Dude! Did you get the matching outfit?" -Mrs. K on the phone (at the beginning of class)
"It's blue!" -Sophie in choir
"What's Kerry look like?" "Frankenstein" -Two random people in PACD
"I'm as old as I have ever been at this very moment" -Chelsea, in PE
"Wanna make out with a dememtor? You only do it once!" -Chelsea, we were hyper and talking about dementors, what do you expect?
"You're too much of a Harry Potter freak if..." "Tiffany, Shut up" -Me and Chelsea
"It's vibrating!" -Me, on my birthday when Niyati gave me my present, just don't ask if you weren't there...
"God is a seahorse" -Chelsea's Mom
“When I was five, I thought God was a mailbox…” -Don’t ask me why I thought that… I just did…
"He's a skinny, white, German guy who can't dance, what's not to love?" -Chelsea, talking about Dom... I think she was on crack... Sorry, Chelsea... Heroin... sigh... Whatever...
"I bet it's Sawyer" "I'm right here asshole!" -Jack and Sawyer (Lost, Wednesdays on ABC @ 9 pm)
"I'm lost" -Chelsea, randomly
"Republicans for Voldemort!" "Gandalf for president! Because you can't have the Red, White and Blue without THE WHITE!" -Me and Chelsea, complaining about the election
"He sings?" "He sings. He can't, but he does anyway" -The movie Taxi and me responding to it
"Jimmy Fallon sings as bad as Drive Shaft (band from the afore mentioned Lost) featuring Dame Maggie Smith (in The Prime Of Miss Jean Brodie) with Mrs. K playing My Immortal on the piano and Mrs. Woolery conducting." -Me, after hearing Jimmy Fallon sing in Taxi (Great movie, I'd recommend it to anyone!)
"When I feel like I'm lost" "YES!" -Some Train (Train is a band) song and Chelsea
"What're you supposed to be for Halloween?" ~Misha looks at Chelsea~ "A Mary-Sue" ~Chelsea gets a weird look from Niyati and so Chelsea starts to explain~ "It means bad fanfiction, or... Never mind... I've explained this too many times, don't ask" ~Chelsea stops talking, so I chime in~ "Hey Chels, you should be an Aires" "I would, but the cosume that I already bought cost me sixty dollars and as I can see from here Misha's doing a pretty good job by herself" ~Misha looks up and opens her big mouth~ "Huh?" "Just shut up, shut up before you start" --Chelsea~ "NO!" -- Misha~ ~Chelsea ignores Misha as I laugh my ass off~ -Misha, Chelsea, Niyati and Me (I'm not even going to try and explain)
"There are places enough for him to push his plow" -Some play called Antigone. (if you don't get it; put your mind in the gutter)
"His brother is the governor of Florida" "And you smell" -Brandon and Ryan about how Bush won the election (I dunno, don't ask me)
"It's like Garfield and the spiders" "If you whack me-" ~whacks Sophie with a rolled up newspaper~ -Me and Sophie in choir, she was wearing a spider glittery body sticker on her face and I had a rolled up newspaper and I was hyper, need I say more?
"It means 'Clever Butterfly', but it could also mean 'Ready Butterfly' . . . " -Natalie in choir, talking about her AIM screen name
"I brought chicken for lunch" -Jory, she just randomly turned around and shared this with me... I really don't know why... ~shakes head slowly~...
"I brought chicken again" -Jory, she said that the next day
"I'm on something and whatever it is, I want some" -Me, the day after Halloween, I was on sugar, very hyper and trying oh, so very hard to annoy Jory and "Bennie" (Some names the ones in parenthesis have been changed to protect the innocent).
"That was fish" "Uh... Sardine" "I don't eat fish..." -Markell and Me in choir, I had just handed her a white Bertie Bott's and it turned out to be sardine... accidentally... ~winks~
"Nadjia... What're you on?" "No... Wait, what?" -Me and Nadjia in math, she was being totally A.D.D. and then, oops, she did it again
"Three little words, Nadjia. Get. Over. It." -Me, being a little to harsh on Nadjia after a hard break-up
"How do you open it? tries to rip it open" "You slide it" -Nadjia and Me, we were talking about me cell phone you idiot! Keep your mind out of the gutter!
These next ones are form a play that Chelsea and I saw called "English Made Simple" :
These ones are from a voice that 'boomed' overhead at the play :
"Walnuts can be used as a torture device."
"English Made Simple: It'll help you to get gooder than you already are!"
"Please keep the fire lane clear. That lane is for fire only."
"Please keep the four seats in front open for Mrs. Leanne Bean, our director" ("But, of course, she's as skinny as a stick" -Chelsea)
"Screw you, Agnes"
"If you are confused by what you just saw; don't worry; you're not alone."
"If you don't think it takes much intelligence to act; you're probably right."
"Demons; plural noun."
"We ask that you please not feed the actors, they may bite" ("We know, we know Kira, don't we?" -Chelsea)
Now these are from the actual play:
"I loved the man, damnit. In a squishy way." (the thing that make that funny is: a totally straight guy said it)
"I do like those cheese things."
"What kind of loser leaves a beer bottle?"
"Why not?" "Because . . . I love you!" (what make that funny: same reason as before)
Now these are just Chelsea and I before the play and during intermission:
"Gimmie the pencil!" "I don't have the pencil, you moron!" "...Gimmie the paper!" -I started it, but it's not my fault!
"For a minute there I thought you said 'Trelawney would be Frou (yes, as in Frou from the Austin Powers movies)'." "No, you idiot! I said Anybody would be Proud!" ~Chelsea shakes her head in disgust slowly at me~ -I made a mistake, so sue me.
These quotes are now from everyday life again:
"No, I think when it comes to being weird Jory takes the cake" "What cake?" -Akayla and Nadjia
"Didju-No." -Jory, asking me if I did my math homework and then she realizes 'I'm asking Tiffany if she did her math homework. Am I crazy?'
"I can G-iz-o." "How about N-iz-o?" -Markell and Kaneisha
"Hallelujah! The Tenors got their note!" -Mrs. K, after doing and exhausting day working with the Women's Tenor part. I guess we're famous for not getting our note...lol
"There's just a bit of my taste buds missing" ~she shrugs~ "So you can't taste... Broccoli...?" -Emily and Candice, in choir. Emily was explaining that there's a dent in her tongue (I don't know why she was telling us this, but anyways...) so she can't taste some things and Candice decided to pick the most random thing to ask... I don't know... I don't ask questions... I just live here...
"It tastes like gravy... I like gravy... " -Stewart, on Miso Soup
"It's New Year's Eve, Tiffany. Why do you have to be on the computer?" "What do you propose we do then?" "Let's put on hats and scream" -My cousin Ryan and Me on New Year's Eve.
"Mornings are always so early" - Me talking to Cammie at 6am because she's from bloody Denmark and that's one of the only times I can bloody talk to her. I hate time differences!
(Okay, this quote has a back story. For those of you who have seen Hook, the sequel to Peter Pan, you know, the movie? Ok, so Robin Williams (elder Peter Pan) goes into that old house and he sees Maggie Smith (even elder Wendy) and he starts telling her about something that attacked him, something with neon red hair, green skin and sharp claws and teeth and Maggie Smith replies in a heavy Scottish accent; ) "Ah, the vicious Mary-Sue" - Maggie Smith in my dream
"Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, X-ray, Yankee, Zulu!"-Cammie being random on an Instant Message... I think she was on Lemon Drops... But they don't have those in Denmark...
"Have you heard of Cybill?" "Yeah, duh! Sybill Trelawney!" "Not that Cybill!" -Me and Cammie talking about a TV show that's in the USA...
"You know why Minerva always stand right behind Albus?... So she can look at his ass!"-Cammie... being a dumbass... lol...
"Dumbass!" "MINERVA!" "Eh?" "Minerva is DUMBledore's piece of ASS!" -Me and Cammie, Me being the one to call Cammie a dumbass...
"Severus Snape is a dumbass... NO! WAIT! No he's NOT!" "Ewwwww! LILY! Bad mental image!" -Me and Cammie talking about something and then this came up... ~Shudder~ ...
"Duh" "Duh" "Duh" "Duh" - Me and Cammie having an interesting conversation...
"Eh?" "Eh?" "Eh?" "Eh?" - still having very interesting conversations...
"Aberforth would swear on The Father, The Son and The Holy Goat!" - Cammie being totally random!
"Same difference" "Only the color has a different sound" -Me and Cammie
"OW" - Me every time Cammie IMed me...
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" -Cammie being weird
"Don't type, just talk" -Me to Cammie
"Which Backstreet Boy is gay?" -Cammie after listening to some strange song!
"If my computer had a face, I would smack it!" -Me
"Imagine what Minerva would look like with an afro..." -Cammie said this and used it to write a fic... Weirdo!
"We're attached at the hip over the internet!" "Put that in your quotes!" -Me and Cammie
"So sue me!" "Sue? You want me to turn you into a Sue?" -Me and Chelsea when I made a mistake on...something...Don't remember what...But something...
"Lily? Do you copy?" "Yeah, I copy..." "Good. Team Tango Charlie goes first. Then We go... Watch your six! Over and out!" "What the hell are you talking about?" -Cammie... Being random... And me... Not following...
"You MUST have cheesecake!" "NO! We don't have ANY cake with cheese!" -Me not believing they don't have cheesecake in Denmark...
"Walk the plank, ye scurvy tub o-lard!" -Cammie being weird and ADD... as usual...
"And my mum said 'that's that girl from Australia, right?' and my friends keep saying 'oh, right! the Dutch girl!' And I'm like, 'NO! She's from DENMARK!' so funny!" "Shit, I'm international!" -Me and Cammie, I was talking about how the people I know seem to not have the words "Denmark" or "Dane" in their vocabularies...
"I can't draw... I can mess up stick figures!" "You gotta be kidding!" -Me and Cammie talking about how I can't draw for shit...
"Stan looks weird, If only he wasn't such a damn good kisser..." "WTF, mate!" -Cammie and me, while she was reading a fan fiction and talking to me at the same time...
"Excuse me, my computer's stupid" -Cammie at 6am
"I'd rather be a bitch than a chicken" "Eh?" "The Danish word for 'bitch' and the Danish word for 'chicken'-BAD HAMSTERS!" -Cammie being random and me saying, "Eh?"
"I have SS stuck in my VCR" "You have Severus Snape stuck in your VCR?" -Me and Cammie. I meant Sorcerer's Stone, not Severus Snape... lol...
"Oh! You've got an accent!" "Umm... Duh…?" -My Mum and Cammie, when my my mum heard Cammie talk for the first time...
"Can you fly Cammie out from Denmark to see a movie with us?" "Ummm... Not today" -Me and my mum.
"Whatcha doin'?" "Talking to Cammie! What do ya think I'm doing?" -My mum and me
"Why?" "I don't know... I believe it's because I'm ADD..." -Cammie asked why I was playing with a stretched out spring... and I told her...
"Get the mic out of your mouth" "Dundermouth?" -Me and Cammie when she had her mic in her mouth for some reason...
"I am their queen, I am queen of the hamsters" -Me...you wouldn't get it unless you're Cammie...
"So you're kinda, indirectly, but not kidnapping yourself?" -Me to Cammie about her kidnapping herself and coming to California...
"There's that girl with the hair that I'm jealous of!" "The perfect ingredient for a mushroom omelet" -Me and Ms. Garlit... I have no idea... If you're lost (no pun intended); you're not alone...
~Jillian mumbles something~ "I heard that, I have the ears of a cat" ~I turn around from the computer to face her and see her cat ears headband-thingy~ "So do I..."-Me and Jillian after school in Ms. Garlit's room... she was insulting me... or something...
"If I was a second grade teacher, then I would tell all of my students that everything was made of cheese" "I HAVE A BOOK!" -Stewart and Jillian after school when we were EXTREMELY bored...
"Yes I will, won't I, Tabby? Yes I will!" "Cammie! You're talking to a stuffed animal!" -Cammie and Me, I think she was on crack...
"I still think that that silver ass was the funniest thing!" -When Cammies do drugs... lol...
"Napoleon Dynamite was a stupid movie!" "Yeah, it is!" "Have you ever seen it?" "Uhh...no..." -Me and Cammie
"Snot ball!" "Nut ball?" -Me and Cammie...
"WFT!" "WFT? WTF?" "No! WFT! Well Fuck That" "Well Fuck What?" "Fuck your damn computer!" "I'll pass..." -Cammie and me in some very... random... conversation...
"Mom, can you get me another jar of apple sauce?" "That's not a banana..." -Chelsea and her mother when Chelsea was trying to get her brother a cup of apple sauce at dinner...
"I have a thing for bass players" "I have a thing for sarcastic assholes" "I have a thing for dumbasses..." "I'll tell Michael Gambon" "Shut up" -Fawkes and Me during our daily walk type thing before we go through the torture of our alcoholic PE teacher's idiocy... We survived... Alcoholic Bastard... Botchy ball...
"Why am I feeling the inside of this monkey's ear?" -Me
"Yeah, I'm going to snog the monkey's ass" -Me
"What's the difference between ADD and ADHD?" "ADD is when you're like 'OOOO! Something shiny!' and ADHD is when you're like 'OHMIGOD! SOMETHING SHINY! HOLY SHIT! MUST HAVE SHINY!" -Nadjia and Me
"OHMIGOD! THEY DON'T HAVE POST ITS IN GERMANY!" -Nadjia
"My homework ate my dog... so I had to shoot it" -Me
"I got into a fight with a chair... and lost" -Fawkes
"Instead of 'The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants', we can be 'The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Bra'!" -Me
"I wish I could put a fish in my bra..." -Nadjia
"Noodle... A doodle..." -Nadjia
"I farted because of you!" -Nadjia
"I wonder if-" "I'm NOT a guy!" -Nadjia and Me
"Me on Dom... I wish..." -Chelsea
"My foot's asleep... and I'm jealous..." -Me
"I'm a Cashew! My mum's a Catholic and my dad's a Jew!" -Chelsea
"I swim in a pond full of loser fish" -Me
"WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE AND GO TO CLASS!" ~slams door~ "Stupid Bastards..."-Ms. Garlit, she had the door open in our classroom and there were these stupid people ditching and screaming random curse words and Ms. Garlit walks to the door and then screamed at them... It was SOO FUNNY!
"I did it backwards, but we'll live..." -Mr. Lewin... math problem... probably only funny to me though...
"That was a good one LewBall!" "LewBall?" -Allie Ventura and Mr. Lewin
"The queen!" "Yeah, the queen, whatever..." -Allie Ventura and Mr. Lewin
"I won the school a thousand dollars!" "Sure ya did..." -Allie Ventura and Mr. Lewin
"How'd you get fourteen? Where did that come from?" "That's the number of the problem you moron!" -Random person numbers one and two in my math class of who which I do not know the names of...
"Before we start that..." "WAIT! What page are we on?" "I think the better question for you would be 'What book are we in?', eh Justine?" -Mr. Lewin and Justine
~Calls Amber~ ~Amber answers~ "Hello?" "Amber?" "Yeah?" "52 MORE DAYS!" "Ow...The happy hurts..." -Amber and me
"Can you use another vocabulary word... other than 'damn'?" -Mr. Lewin.
"Do you know what 'bloody' means?" "Yeah, I know" "No, you don't!" "Yes, I do! Bloody means 'bloody' in English! Do you mean British English?" "No, I don't" "Yes, you do" "No, I don't!" "No, you don't!" "Yes, I do!" "HAH! SEE?" -Adrian and me.
~Class mumbles and talks~ "You guys seem to really care about your grades ~sarcastic~..." ~Class continues to mumble and talk~ "You know what's going to be really hard for this class on the final?" ~Mumbling and talking continues~ "NOT TALKING!" ~Class shuts up~ -Mr. Lewin, as himself, and my math class, as themselves.
"Smurfin'..." -Random person number three in my math class in stead of 'Bitchin'...
"Smurfia..." -Random person number three again...just randomly...
"What's with the Smurfs?" -Me realizing that after Cammie got that INCREDIBLY ANNOYING song stuck in my head that people started talking about smurfs constantly...
"Yeah, that's how we do it in P-Town! It's the girl scouts against the choir fundraising people! Oh, it's on!" -Random person number four in my math class that I do not yet know the name of.
"Yeah, you're sending fifteen teenage girls on a subway in the middle of the night wearing slinky formal dresses and high heels, in New Bloody York, back to their hotel to get their purses and makeup? And you expect them to survive? How many do you expect to come back alive? Who wants to start a choir wide pool on who dies first?" -Misha during our choir trip to New York freshman year...
"Hey Lew, I'm going to the loo!" -Me
"It's Celine Dion and Barbara Steisand's fault!" -Me, on why Cammie and I became friends...
"It looks like art. But pointy and dangerous art" -Mr. Lewin
"Yeah, it's the gang symbol for square centimeters. Join my gang."~Joking~ "How do you get in?" ~Serious~ -Mr. Lewin and Gus
"And the answer is X=12" Gus starts to laugh hysterically "Yeah, it's hilarious..." -Mr. Lewin
"Goin' Nuckin' Futs..." -Random person number five...
"Speaking of the Cal Slaughter House, John? Can you tell me the exact circumference of circle P?" -Mr. Lewin, mocking John, who was being extremely off topic...
"If you can't find the circumference, then how do you know my grade?" -Random person number six... and counting...
"Can you pull the screen down?" "I can do lots of things..." -Gus and Mr. Lewin
"Loser FISH!" "Loser poser pirate fish wannabe!" -Cammie and Maja
"I just had a blonde moment. Not woman, Maja, moment." -Cammie... haha... dumbass...
" 'You're a bit scary at times, brilliant, but scary...' Bother bother bother!" -Cammie...being a dumbass... again...
" 'No, dear boy, I tried to kill you!!' Bother bother bother!" -Cammie...
"I'm not bothering you? I'd be bothering me if I were me... Wait I am me... If I was you..." -Me
"We're still playing." "Playing with what?" "My... Wand?" -Cammie and me... I don't even know... nor do I want to...
"Ooooo... his head is burning... now his face is burning... now he's crumbling to dust..." -Cammie while watching Sorcerer's Stone...
"I really like that uptight woman in 'Tea With Mussolini'" "Yeah! That's Maggie Smith!" -Cammie's Gran and Cammie... I can't believe that Cammie knew right off the bat that her Gran was talking about Maggie... Yes I can...
"HE WAS STRAIGHT GAY!" -Jillian
"I'm Nuckin' Futs!" "You're Snogging Nuts? WTF, Mate!" "Yes, Lily... I'm snogging nuts!" -Cammie and Me... Don't even ask...
"I'm such a dumbass!" "How did I know you were going to say that?" "Because you're psycho!" "And how did I know that you were going to say that?" "Because you're psycho!" -Cammie and me... going on and on and on... and on...
"I'm tired." "YOU'RE TIRED! I woke up at five am to talk to you, went to my granddad's funeral, I feel like shit and my head hurts like hell. And YOU'RE TIRED!" -Me and Cammie
"Godnight" -My adorable cousin Ryan, speaking Danglish (Danish and English at the same time... Kinda like Spanglish... you know Spanish and English at the same time...)
"You know what's really retarded?" "You?" "Besides me... and you" "My family, your computer, Jillian, Fawkes, Pookie..." "Ms. Garlit" "Ms. Garlit's not retarded! She's... yeah, retarded..." -Cammie and Me
"My nails hurt" "My teeth itch" "My eyelashes itch… sometimes... THAT'S freaky.." -Cammie and me
"Look! It's Minerva!" "What where? ~Spins around~ ~hip cracks painfully~ OWCH! MY HIP! Where, you dumb shit?" "I'm looking right at you... -her..." -JillyBean and me... Sometimes I hate her...
"OHMIGOD! SHE'S NOT WEARING A BRA!" "WHAT?" "IN SISTER ACT! SHE'S NOT WEARING A BRA!" "LILY! DON'T GIVE ME THAT MENTAL IMAGE!" -Me and Cammie... don't ask...
"Jesus Christ!" "Did you just say Jesus CrackHead?" "No, I don't want to go straight to hell… I want to work my way there!" -Me and Cammie..
"I have just now confiscated your brain!" -Cammie... I dunno...
"So now you've confiscated my brain AND now you're trying to give me a heart attack?" -Me... Just don't ask...
" 'The guns happily in the forest were shooting... but it could also mean something like this: The gays happily in the forest were fucking'... lol... that is just so funny!" -Cammie quoting her geometry teacher...I don't even want to know...
"I can't believe J.K.R. said, 'And there you go'!" -Cammie
"A is for Excellent!" "And she's supposed to be an English teacher!" -Ms. Garlit and Cammie
"What is the kitchen form of toilet paper?" "Umm...Paper towels...?" -Cammie and me... I don't even know...
"Did you hear a word of what I just said?" "Yeah... I think I heard some of it... I can't remember... but I heard!" - Me and Cammie
"She looks so innocent" -My Gran talking about Cammie... yeah right!
"Don't tell her to shut up! She's nice!" -My Gran about Cammie again... and Cammie heard and laughed her ass off!
"Isn't that what we do with thoughts? Think about them?" - Ryan Fontillas
"I can't write straight!" -Someone in GSA
"It was a Shakespearean Tragedy because it had death. We have 'Death' because it had... Death..." -Brett, explaining his poster of 'King Lear' during history.
"Who's lost?" "I am!" -Mrs. K and me
"All of the other songs are just as cheesy, it's just this one is in English" - Ryan Rubin, telling us about a very cheesy song that everyone was complaining about in choir called "Little Innocent Lamb"
"I'm having a fuck-tastic day" -Chelsea on the day Bush got re-elected
"Why would we want a president that has day-by-day calendars about stupid things he's said? I mean that's only... 365!" -Me
"American love; there was this sign on a highway that said; "Honk once for Bush, Twice for Kerry". A man honked once for Bush, his wife leaned over, smacked him on the back of the head and honked twice for Kerry." -Don Bleu
"I'M NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO PEOPLE SCREAM!"(What irony!)-The President of GSA
"I was a sixth grader. I was young and dumb. -I'm still young and dumb, so nix that." -Me
"Stupid quote section. Go!" "What? What'd I say?" "Stupid" "Huh?" "Stupid quote" "This is funny, it's going in my stupid quotes section." -Jory and me
"I think it's S-A-S" "How about A-S-S?" -Akayla and me
"I can see myself going into the F.I.S.H. Club with my backpack, the map of 'The Unite States of Canada and Jesusland' and my 'Defend America, Defeat Bush' bumper sticker" "Yeah, but I can't see you coming out" -Chelsea and me
"It's the best episode ever!" Chelsea crashes "Chelsea? You on heroine?" "Stupid pants" -Chelsea and me
"I have a dream. I'm driving a bus and my teeth start falling out. My mum's in the back eatin' biscuits and everything smells of bacon" -Charlie on Lost, every Wednesday on ABC at 9pm
"Which one of you dumbasses is in there?" "Me" "Dumbass" "Moronic moron" -Chelsea and me
~writes 'Beaf' of the board~ "Can you get beef out of this?" ~class nods, half confused~ "YES! YES you can!" ~writes 'Chicken' on the board~ "Can you get beef out of this?" ~class shakes heads slowly, even more confused~ "NO! BECAUSE IT'S CHICKEN!" ~class looks at each other like 'WTF!'~ -Mr. Haubner and the summer school class of '05
"Is number two true or false?" "Giraffe" ~class again; ‘WTF!’~ (I should mention that Mr. Haubner is a history teacher... lol) -Random person #306 and Mr. Haubner
"Calculus is like algebra on steroids!" -Mr. Haubner
"The Roman Catholic Church; it's like a game of survivor on steroids!" -Mr. Haubner
"Listen to me or we will fire you. Literally fire you from the planet!" -Mr. Haubner
"Is that a bird out there or is somebody choking a freshman?" -Haubner
"To Sir R.F., freedom means chaos on steroids" -Haubner
"The French Revolution made the US Revolution look literally diet. Like, literally, a diet revolution" -Haubner
"Somebody throw her an intellectual lifesaver!" -Haubner
"Rousseau was a radical on steroids. I don't mean literally on steroids with bulging gross muscles and an anger management problem. But a radical on steroids." -Haubner
"It's Friday... My brain doesn't have to work..." -Becca
"They were whipping, as in whip whip whippin' whippin' WHIPPIN', around France, literally WHIPPING around France" -Haubner
"Oprah is the Queen Elizabeth of our time. She's the wealthiest woman alive and won't marry for sake of power... POWER TO THE PRENUPT!" -Haubner
"The French Revolution is the American Revolution on major steroids" -Haubner
"Dev: wonders faintly if the darkside really does have cookies
"Dev : tha snape is actually albus' illegitimate son
"Dev : im glad some has actually seen The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
"Ewww... It's a dead bird! It's laying there... All dead..." "Isn't that what dead birds do...?" -Amber and me
"You bastards! You made me inhale my cookie! It is now sitting in my lungs!" -Caitlin, don't ask, won't tell... lol...
"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw." "~O.o~ How can you do anything gently with a chainsaw?" -Jenna and Caitlin
"I mean fuck you if that's a large!" -My mother, on JC Penny's
"Music is my knife. Emotions are my wrists. Still think I'm not self-destructive?" -Saabi
"Your mother." "Hamster." "Your father was a nun." "Well, yours was a goat! Your mother was a goat fucker!" -Me and Jenna
"If he's gay, how can he have a nephew?" -Poor, poor Saabi... -.-
"What state is Michigan in?" -Let us have a moment of silence for Saabi's departed brain. ~bows head~
"This is the Bermuda Triangle! Everyone who steps into it gets their brain disappeared!" -Shelia talking about our corner of the classroom... lol... Go figure...
"How much does it usually go for?" "$300, but if you're a baller, you can get it for $200..." "Am I a baller?" -Chris (No, not Pookie) and Shelia
"You can relax, sleep well-" "And know you're screwed no matter what you do." -Shelia and Saabi
"One one hand; good job. On the other hand; fuck you!" -Jenna, on how Saabi bull shitted his entire 5 minute long speech and got an A+... -.-... Bastard...
"Your mom!" "Your daddy!" "Your mom!" "Your daddy!" ... Etcetera... Etcetera... Etcetera... -Me and Francesca... (Now I feel like watching The King and I...)
"Fucking fried Cyclops of doom!" -Anthony (a.k.a. King Bob) on doughnuts
"I support two baseball teams; the Red Sox and whoever beats those Yankees!" -Shelia
"Rich, can you just answer the stupid question?" "If I just answered your stupid question then you could just go home, now couldn't you?" -Dominique and Rich
"Women at war..." "Oh joy." "... Let's hide..." -Me and Caitlin
"You feel like a tornado in a carpool?" "No! I feel like doing a cartwheel!" -Me and Caitlin
"I did?" "You did." "I did?" "You did." "... I did?" "Shut up!" "Make me!" "..." "..." -Me and Caitlin
"You may destroy all the men in American, and we still have enough to do to defeat the women..."
"Hey, I take care of my friends by being annoying." -Mary
"You have any pencils?" "Yes, have a pencil fetish..." "Hook me up!" -Mary and Shelia
"Semper Fi... You know, I'd join the Marines, but I'm too much of a chicken shit... The first sign of a gun and I'd be like Jesus; runnin' back across the ocean... Buh-bye." -Me
"There's no morality when it comes to school supplies..." -Shelia
"Then we Repiblicate and Democrate!" -Me... lol... Just don't ask...
"So then we stabbed each other with Sharpies and he drew a smiley face on my shirt" -Eddy
"All this only for eternal damnation? Hell yeah!" -Mary
These are some old quotes from me and Cammie that I never took the time to put up...
"You know what is weird? Batteries are packed in so thick plastic which is nearly impossible to open... And the light bulbs are packed in sooo thin paper... Opens in both ends... What are people thinking? "Nothing will happen to those! It's the batteries we have to worry about!" DUH! lol!" -Cammie - Note to Cammie: I've found you out! That's from a comedy routine! Don't ask me which one though, because I have to fuckin' clue.
"When you know who's who that's what makes it funny, otherwise it's a drama, but only like the last 10 minutes are really dramatic, otherwise it's 'laugh-your-ass-off-until-you-have-to-go-look-for-it funny" -Me, on The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
"Kælling! Nidkjær!" "Did you just call me a Bitch Bridge?" -Cammie and me
"The first time I saw it I was with a friend and she did NOT like old love. 'It's gross! They're making out! EWWWWW!' I almost smacked her!" -Cammie
"I don't watch TV that often anymore, I usually have this as my schedule; 1. Wake up. 2. Talk to Cammie. 3. Go to school. 4. Check emails at lunch. 5. Go to rest of school 6. Hang out with Mrs. Garlit after school until Jillian's mum comes and picks us up. 7. Homework. 8. Talk to Cammie 9. Go to bed" -Me
"I feel like a bowl of cereal." "WTF, mate?" "I feel like HAVING a bowl of cereal" "Oh..." -Me and Cammie
"I know what porn is, thank you very much... why did they send it to YOU?" -Cammie, when I was complaining about having porn sent to me in spam... You had to be there for the conversation...
"'I earned my crotch band' 'Doesn't that ever give you an empty feeling?' 'What?' 'The crotch band' 'No, because like some frog species I grow what I need' -Kate Todd and Jethro Gibbs... I LOVE this quote! lol" -Cammie... This was right before she introduced me to NCIS... It's all her fault... lol..."
"If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame"
"Okay, Imagine this: Minerva takes Albus with her to a family reunion as her boyfriend... only, he's not. And then one of her brothers say, 'Albus Dumbledore... hey, you're the one Minerva's been secretly in love with for decades aren't you?' OH SHIT, eh?" -Cammie
~Strokes her computer~ ~Says in a kind, not threatening, sing-song voice~ "C'mon you piece of shit, lemme have ff.net, Please, c'mon you shit." -Me
"Why study? The more you study, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. The less you know, the less you forget. The less you forget, the more you know. So, why study?"
"They say practice makes perfect, but no one's perfect, so why practice?" -Cammie
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried" -Me
"Mel and I were meant to be together" "I wish I could say the same for your thighs!" "I don't have to stand for this!" "I bet you'll lay down for it!" -Blanche and Sophia of the Golden Girls .
"Silly rabbi! Tricks are for kids." -Sophia
"If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll do it for you" -Maggie Smith in Ya-Ya
"Why doesn't somebody go to the bathroom? That always makes the food come!" -Maggie in Ya-Ya
"I don't understand why you have your underwear up your crack, it doesn't to a G-D Thing" -Maggie in Ya-Ya
"Imagine Snape reading a fairy tale for Harry... 'Once upon a time... In Mexico...' lol" -Cammie
"Hold your horses..." "I don't have horses..." -Me and Cammie
"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking" -Me
"I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicans for which they scam one nacho underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls."
“And I’ll be the little squirrel, screaming for my life…” -Jessica
“Oh, you have 6 more. They’ll last you a while… You can go through them like socks…” -Stephanie
“What happens if I break the black one?” “Then you have to masturbate.” “Have to? Like it’s a chore!” -Saabi and me
“You suck…” “I could comment on that… But I won’t…” -Me and Mary
“Priests joke? I thought they just prayed and screwed little boys…” -Mary
“Tiffany; just do it.” “Caitlin’s Nike now!” -Caitlin and Mary
“A boy had a crush on me?” -Caitlin
“Caitlin has wings!” “… Uh… No shit?” -Anthony and me
“Did you just say ‘I have a front door on my face’?” -Me
“Her grandma called the police on Saabi! It all makes sense now!” -Mary
“She called the police on me for trying to run over an elementary school kid with my car…” -Saabi
“It all makes sense now! The hamster in my head runs backwards!” -Me
“There are bunnies and Leprechauns in my head. When I think good thoughts, the bunnies multiply. But when I think bad thoughts, the Leprechauns shoot the bunnies. There’s only one bunny left.” -Anthony
“You mean Caitlin’s gonna get some?” “Yep, you’re going to be her first.” “Well, I’d better be! I own her!” -Kristin and me
“All I heard was ‘bladdy bladdy blah. I’m on MySpace, I’m going to hell’” -Mary
“Her and Draco get together and he looks like Malfoy!” -Kristin
“Oh god! I’m drowning in my sweat drop!” -Mary
“Your mother’s a crappy three!” -Me
“I’m going to rip off your wenis and staple it to a wall!” -Me
“Dude… What was the best thing before sliced bread?” -Me
“All I heard was something about you lighting up and I wasn’t surprised!” -Shelia
“Shelia, you’re a hippie” “I’ll never win this battle…” -Tom and Shelia
“Mine’s as big as yours. Let’s go at it!” -Rich
“Tiffany!” “What’d I do?” “Him!” “I don’t recall that! ~shifty eyes~ I was drunk!” -Caitlin and me
“I can golf, but you can’t make me a hooker.” -Caitlin
“How would it be different if I were the Princess of Denmark?” “Because then you’d be important…” -Caitlin and me
“Because it’ll feel better, we’ll all say slut at the count of three” -Shelia
“A is for awful, B is for bad, C is for…” “Canadian?” -Me and Amber
“Caitlin might die, but she’ll get over it though.” -Kristin
“How is that a dead moose?” “It’s a dead mouse.” “Oh, I get it now…” -Me and Caitlin
“Your hair is horny” -Saabi
“Every year a dog dies in English class…” -Mrs. Garlit
“Check to see if that cake survived.” “It’s pink, does it matter?” -My mom and me
“Well, Barbie is Swedish…” “No wonder… That bitch” -Me and my mother
“They have an innocence sensor. It’s kinda like a gaydar.” -Me
“Fairies don’t technically exist” “Then Caitlin doesn’t technically exist?” -Caitlin and me
“It’s fun to tell telemarketers that whoever they’re calling for is dead…” -Me
“You okay?” “Yeah, it’s only my head.” -Kyle and me
“No more depressed cookies!” -Me
“If they don’t have peanut butter, I’m not going!” -Amber
“Disney movies!” “They’re medicated!” “Disney movies are basically Has Christian Anderson fairy tales on anti-depressants!” -Me and Caitlin
“So you’re the stuff that makes an H.C. Anderson story able for little kids to see because there are no suicidal mermaids?” -Me
“Yay for suicidal mermaids!” -Saabi
“I beat you over the head with the souls of the books of the Lord of the Rings trilogy!” -Caitlin
“Who’s Barry Manilow?” “O.O ~wails~” -Caitlin and me
“I know you don’t have invisible ink! I have all of the invisible ink in the world in my pockets of god!” -Caitlin
“Caitlin looks like a three foot ninja.” -Anthony
“Mary! You can’t call me a stalker! I’m your wife!” -Saabi
“It’s like an orgasm in my fingertip.” -Tom
“I’m being finger raped!” ~Principal walks by~ -Me
“Wait, you can’t rape her! She’s wearing a condom!” “Break in the condom! Break in the condom! ~pokes me in the face~” “What’re you going to do, impregnate my face?” -Caitlin, Anthony and me
“I think this one is clearly stating; Rafael, knock it off!” -Ann
“My lady leprechauns always end up looking like me, so I just draw men.” -Me
“Jim, get that math off my board! I’m breaking out in hives!” -Sometimes I just love Shelia… Not very often, but sometimes.
“I don’t laugh when you do stupid stuff. Never mind, yes I do.” -Shelia
“Wow… I got about 30 stupid quotes today… I must know a lot of stupid people!” “You better put them on your ff.net profile! And about you knowing a lot of stupid people; I won’t comment on that…” -Me and Cammie
“You know I don’t know how to work those things!” “Yeah… Electricity…” -Shelia and Tom
“I like English cars…” “I like English humour…” “... I like English muffins…” -Joe, me and Stephanie
“If you’re lonely, then get cats! I mean; break up with a boyfriend, get a cat! … I should have about six cats then…” -Me
“It’s about as chewy as a brick.” -Me
"What're you, an accent sponge?" -My mother
"Oooh, a snail... ooh, a crushed snail..." -Cammie
"Stefan is now the official father of my bagel." -Cammie
"I've got a Starbucks coupon, kick ass!" "And I'm still drawing leaves..." -Me and Cammie
"You know, it's really fascinating watching a printer print. You know with that thing open... it goes back and forth really fast..." -Me
“SILENCE WALKS IN WEARING NOTHING BUT A TEA COZY!” -Fawkes
“Fawkes: Hang on, I get to play the 'Guess who's pregnant?' game with my mom again...
“Lily: If you weren't pregnant... I’d beat the crap out of you…
“My cousin brought a Furby into my home... HIS BLOOD SHALL WATER MY FIELDS!” -Me and I was talking about the evil Furby of doom, not my naive cousin who housed the beast.
“Give me Taco Bell or Give me death!” -Me
"Saabi, I don't know if I want you naked in my skirt." -Mary
"I haven't worn a skirt in so long, I'm so excited!" -Saabi
"I forgot the sarong, did you bring the baby?" -Caitlin
"It's really loud Josh! The music!" "What?" -Caitlin and Josh
"I woke up and had salami and diced pears." "What, are you pregnant too?" -Kristin and me
"I'm wearing my baby!" -Me
"Mary impregnanted Saabi?" -Me
"I forgot to drop the baby!" -Me
"You know, some of us have that problem..." "Yeah, I know! Personally!" "Well, we learned something new about Tiffany..." -Mary and me
"She's PMSing ~silence from Kristin~ See! Because she doesn't answer, I'm right!" -Me
"You'd think after hundreds of years they'd learn..." "Well... They're men..." -Caitlin and me
"I'd be freaked out too if I found out that I was part of that gene pool..." -Me
"You know what? All of the people in this class room used to be as cute as you..." "Yeah, except Shelia..." - Shelia and Stephanie
"My husband goes to Amsterdam one week every month." "Makes sense to me..." -Shelia and me
"It was the goat mafia!" -Me
"How'd you do that?" "With my giant dick..." -Mary and me
"I think Shelia's husband has orgys in Amsterdam..." -Kevin
"Can I borrow you notebook?" "But what if Caitin says something stupid?" -Kristin and me
"What did you do, mate with an ugly tree?" "I had too many sandwiches!" -Caitlin and me
"What's the answer to number one?" "It's a word search..." -Rafael and Jory
"It's like suicide via small jokes!" -Me
"You know why there's no femal president? Because she'd be in a meeting and be all nice and cool and then she'd go to the bathroom and come back and be all 'BOMB THEM!' It's PMS... It's like no shit, Sherlock!" -Taylor
"The only place I'm ill is in my head." -Cammie
"Good girl" "My closet has a gender now?" -Cammie and me
"I stole back my spot from you, which is rightfully mine!" -Me
"Wait, it's impossible to be suicidal?" -Me
"Her boobs don't fit in my camera." -Saabi
"You'd marry Saabi if he was gay?" -Me
"I'm a deaf, retarded, one eyed bat." -Mary
"So your girlfriend is your exgirlfriend to the fourth power?" -Me
"I'm a good little Catholic school girl! And my father's a roaring heathen pagan..." -Caitlin
"You know Saabi, it's really interesting... Not for you, but for me, but I just need to tell someone..." -Mary
"Your hand is where my ass belongs." -Me (I was trying to tell him to move his hand so I could sit where it was... lol...)
"That's where the pile of dead kittens came from..." -Kevin
"My mother is a man. She won't stop at a gas station to ask for directions when we're lost." -Me
"Flappers are back-in-the-day strippers!" -Me
"Frankenstein was Jewish?" -Michael
"HCA looks like Willy Wonka with a top hat... But the old one, not the new one..." -Kristin
"Your country looks like Elvis' finger with a Godzilla finger puppet on it..." -Mary
"Dude... I would so make love to that statue..." -Kevin
"Yes, sarcophaguses make me horny..." -Me
"The squirrel only tolerates you, but nobody likes you..." -Me
"And there are STDs crawling up her legs..." -Stephanie
"I doubt that would be comfortable..." -Caitlin, reffering to above quote
"She's a Christian and she loves you!" "I'm a Catholic, you bastard!" -Saabi and Caitlin
"Shelia! I wore a skirt, I deserve an 'A'!" -Saabi
"Saabi, this may come as a shock to you, but seeing you in a skirt doesn't exactly float my boat..." -Shelia
"If I catch you thinking in this class again, you're gonna be sorry." -Shelia
"Oh god." "You can call me Shelia." -Saabi and Shelia
"No... I would marry Saabi if he were gay... If I were gay... If I were a gay man!" -Me
"Bitch, please..." -Kevin
"I'm weird..." You're weird? I'm obsessed with Denmark and you're weird?" -Stacie and me
"Just listen to what you just said. 'Blue Balls are better than Monsters'..." -Kevin
"I hate Saabi too, but Saabi's got free food!" -Tom
"Why do they call it a knee slapper when you slap your thigh?" -Me
"You can go home and tell your cat that you know where it came from!" -Rich
"I've been warned against eating dead birds off the streets in Denmark..." -Me
"Finding your house in California would be like finding Denmark on a map: it might be hard and take a while... But you'll find it eventually..." -Chelsea
"He looks like he's about to rape you..." "And giggle the entire time..." -Chelsea and me
"I'm too tired to slap you. Bash your head against my hand." -Karen, of Will&Grance
"If you knew your times tables, you'd like math a lot better." "That's propaganda, Lara!" -Lara and Kris
"Real, true friendship affects your life in a way that money never can." -Shelia
"What is a random ass?" -Shelia
"The only reason I did it is because she promised to sleep with me if I did! I'm suing her for false advertisement!" -Saabi
"She's like a bobble head... Except she's a bobble body..." -Adam
"Awww... Kristin's a barbeque virgin..." -Me
"Girls can play with anything, but guys can't" -Cory
"I'm gone for two minutes and you guys gang bang my milk carton!" -Anthony
"It doesn't matter what time it is on Monday, it's still early..." -Me
"You can't put your closet in a room with another closet! It just won't work!" -Caitlin
"Which quote?" "Tiffany!" "What'd I do?" "Him! ~points to Saabi~" "Oh..." -Me and Caitlin
"Tom, if you need someone to pretend to be your boyfriend, I'll do it." "No! he's all mine!" "Finally! I've been waiting two years!" -Me, Saabi and Tom
"Why don't you tie it shut?" "My shirt or my mouth?" "BOTH!" -Caitlin and me
"It's just scandal over here!" "We're talking about the soggy cookie in Caitlin's lungs!" -Shelia and me
"And then she'd get mad and explode and we'd have Shelia chunks all over. And that wouldn't be very pleasant..." -Me
"Why do we all want to touch Andre when he's wet?" -Mary
"I heard this; 'It's a spare tire filled with hope!'..."- Me
"I'm more of a man than he'll ever be!" -Me
"I'm gumming your sweater..." -Caitlin
"You produced a puff!" "My god! I'm dissolving!" -Me and Caitlin
"All you gotta do is give her coffee and handcuffs and you've got yourself a party!" -Me
"What the hell is an Oklahoma?" -Saabi
"Who the hell names a state Oklahoma!" "Your mother!" -Saabi and me
"Are Draco and Malfoy twins?" "NO! They're the same kid!" -Saabi and me
"Will, what did I tell you? You live with a hetero long enough, you're going to catch it..." -Jack of Will&Grace
"I have a gaggle!" "So does your Granma..." -Me and Jill
"I was going up and down and up and down. I was like a confused erection!" -Me
"Puberty is a very hairy brick wall..." -Me
"Your boobs are going to mate and have a love-child." "So how does my cell phone work as a condom?" -Jill and me
"I can almost hear my hips saying 'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!' "-Me
"Then why do you ask?" "To give the appearance of a choice..." -Me and my mother
"They can play sports, but they can't aim for shit." -My mother on men's bathrooms
"There are no zombies in the Catholic church! At least, not mine..." -Caitlin
"And I'm a leg man..." -Me
"He bit me! With the teeth and the flesh and the biting!" -Me
"I called her Little Bo Peep!" "I have NOT lost my sheep!" -Me and Caitlin
"And my pants almost came off..." -Me
"Oh! I found Jesus! He was on my crotch all along!" -Stephanie
"How do you spell Italy? Is it with two e's?" -Logan
"Shelia! Sixty percent of my school day consists of your classes!" "Awww... How depressing..." -Saabi and me
"I'm so hot... In here..." -Mrs. Garlit
"Follow me! ~slams door~" -Jill
"When you have a baby, you have to feed it mashed bananas. but you have to mash the bananas yourself." "Just don't tell that to Cammie. She'll laugh her ass off. It's a bit of an inside joke." "How so?" "Mom, what is a banana shaped like?" "A man's penis..." "As opposed to what? A woman's penis?" -My mother and me
"I am evil in it's general form" -Me
"I just called to say bye!" "Have a good sleep!" "Have a good day at school!" "Shut up..." -Me and Cammie
"Can I lick your eyeball?" "No... Why?" "It turns me on. Why?" "I like my eyeball lickless..." -Me and Pookie
"Why would you want to lick somone's eyeball?" "It's a Cammie thing..." -Cailtin and me
"I am a fluffy ball of doom named Pfft." -Caitlin
"You have a boyfriend? Is it me?" "Two timer! Two timer!" -Saabi and Caitlin
"She's stabbing your boobs really hard!" "No, don't do that! They'll pop!" "What? Boobs are popable?" "Only if they're baloons! Which means they're fake!" "They're pink? My boobs are pink?" "NO! FAKE!" "I beg your pardon!" -Me, Saabi and Caitlin
"You're calling my ex a sperm...?" -Me
"Oh! Wait, I have seen Schindler's List!" "Doesn't that half naked chick have a great rack?" -Saabi and me
"You did touch your pen! in very inappropriate places!" -Saabi
"I have to live in Denmark for my mother to be a hamster?" -Caitlin
"Caitlin, is my hair turning green?" "Caitlin, is her hair horny?" -Me and Saabi
"Oh no! It's getting all over the sperm!" -Me
"Life is like a box of chocolates and I'm fucking allergic." -Jesse
“For he’s a fiend in feline shape” “So are you!” “A monster of depravity…” -Caitlin and me
“I’m screwed!” “By who?” “~looks very sarcastically at Caitlin~ You!” -Me and Caitlin
“You know, when we get old, I mean really old, we have to keep in touch, like everyday, just to make sure the other isn’t dead!” -Cammie
“It’s 1 o’clock in the morning and we’re playing knee and elbow…” -Cammie
“My pen just, like, committed suicide!” -Me
“It stopped twitching, you don’t have to poke it!” -Me
“Tiffany?” “Yeah?” “Are you a man?” “Yes.” “Tiffany?” “Yeah?” “Me too.” -Mary and me
“As a professional stalker-” “I stock shelves.” “I stock bookstores!” “I stalk girls.” “I stalk myself…” -Saabi, Bryce, Caitlin and me (I only say the last part… lol…)
“I’m such a bastard…” -Me on killing Caitlin in our history class…
“This stinks because- SHUT UP!” -Ann
"He's as Danish as they come! As Danish as a danish pastry! ... Actually, danish pastries were invented in Vienna... by two Danes... anyway..." - Cammie
"Are you guys leaving milk and cookies for Santa Claus?" "Santa can lick my ass." "O.O" "Wait... What I meant to say is that Santa's fat..." "But that's not very nice..." "Let me finish! I'm doing that little fucker a favour. In not only one, but TWO ways! One: He's fat anyways and what's a fat guy need with cookies? And B: Santa doesn't want warm milk and stale cookies! If you're going to leave something out for the poor bastard, leave him some coffee, a steak and a cigarette. That'll make his fuckin' night. Wouldn't you want a cigarette after getting your ass burned in the fireplaces of a bunch of dumbasses who know you're fucking coming, but they still leave the fucking fire on anyways? ... Bastards." -Amber and me
"Helena Bonham-Carter is engaged to Tim Burton? It al makes so much more fucking sense! He's got the crazy mind for some awesome movies and she fits his crazy characters perfectly while still being sexy!" -Me
"She's 58 years old and I want to wear her thighs as earmuffs." - Me on Meryl Streep
"Is it weird that I feel like I'm cheating on Meryl Streep with Cybill Shepherd?" "Yes Tiffany, that's very fucking weird in fact." - Me and Hannah
My quotes are done (until I find more stupid people to say more stupid quotes), but this is just something funny. Here's my "You're Too Much Of A Harry Potter Freak If . . ." list. (Just so you're not confused; this I will be turning into one of those calendars, you know, where you rip off a page every day. If you have one to add just review a story and tell me or send me a PM or an e-mail or whatever...
All the ones that have a ~ next to it are the ones I'm guilty of...
You’re Too Much Of A Harry Potter Freak If . . .
1. You actually bought this insane 'day-by-day' calendar.
2. You bought the shampoo that comes out in the shape of a lightening bolt and smacked it against your head until you got a lightning bolt shaped bruise. ~
3. You refer to your family and/or friends as "The Order". ~
4. You refer to your two best friends and yourself as "The Golden Trio". ~
5. You have "changed" your name to that of your favorite character's. ~
6. You have sorted your friends into Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. ~
7. You've read each of the books an unhealthy amount of times…and brag about it. ~
8. You have all of the soundtracks, DVDs and VHSs.
9. You wake up everyday to the theme song. ~
10. You memorized "Double Trouble". ~
11. You tried to get your choir teacher to teach "Double Trouble" to your school's choir(s). ~
12. You are a part of at least four or more different online Hogwarts-es. ~
13. You go through a week straight with this calendar and you realize that everyday when you rip the page off you say "Guilty" aloud to yourself.
14. You're keeping all of the ripped off pages of this calendar.
15. You call your worst enemy "Dolores"; in memory of Umbridge. ~
16. Instead of saying "What grade are you in?", you've started to say "What year are you?". ~
17. Instead of saying "Stupid freshman", you've started to say "Stupid fourth years". ~
18. You have developed a random obsession with lemon drops (or Sherbert Lemons that you have found in a British Grocery store in your town :D) that is starting to scare people. ~
19. You’ve ever said this, "Can I get you a butterbeer - erm - a drink?". ~
20. You always have a bag of Bertie Botts with you. ~
21. You tie the empty Bertie Botts bag to your belt and put your cell phone in it. ~
22. When your parents drive you insane you have started to scream "Bloody Lemon Drops!". ~
23. You have become obsessed with a character, (in the movies) and watch his or her other movies and associate them with that of the Harry Potter movies. ~
24. You see a lit-up freeway from a distance and it reminds you of Harry's scar. ~
25. Everything reminds you of a fanfiction that you have read. ~
26. You make up random holidays (Ex: Gryffindor Pride Day!)…and celebrate them. ~
27. You think that your history teacher secretly teaches others to fly broomsticks.
28. You claim that your letter is "just five years late". ~
29. Every time you see a train you yell, "OMIGOD…erm…MERLIN! IT'S THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS COME TO TAKE ME HOME!".
30. You purposely run into walls thinking that you'll get onto the platform sooner or later. ~
31. You get mad at yourself for not remembering the names of spells. ~
32. If you have ever yelled "Expecto Patronum" at your parents…and expected it to work… ~
33. If you actually spend your free time thinking of 365 reasons why or how you're too much of a Harry Potter freak. ~
34. When your friends or family members ask what you want for your birthday or Christmas or whatever and you reply, "Anything Harry Potter", and they don't even roll their eyes because by now they're used to it. ~
35. You and your friends go in Instant Messenger just for the sole reason of some random Harry Potter roleplay. ~
36. You don't talk as much because you're always either reading or writing fanfictions. ~
37. You know exactly who and what I’m talking about when I say "The Gandalf Theory". ~
38. You say "bloody" so much that your teachers have started saying it too. ~
39. You've started referring to your school as Hogwarts. ~
40. You wear a ring on your wedding finger and when people ask why or who you're married to you simply reply, "She took too long, so I snagged him", and your friends know who and what you’re talking about. ~
41. You say that if you were to be elected president that you wouldn’t be able to be sworn on the Bible, that you'd have to be sworn on you own "Holy Books". ~
42. You see a Tabby cat and automatically think that Professor McGonagall is watching you (as if she has nothing better to do…) and you warn your friends of her presence. ~
43. When your…"odd" friend starts talking about "Lost" you start to wonder when the next movie comes out in theatres. ~
44. You take the time to compare the characters in Harry Potter to the characters in "Lost" and find out that your logic seems to make sense. ~
45. You try and figure out what first and last names of your favourite characters go together and don't sound weird…just in case… ~
46. You notice that one of your friends has something that kind of looks like a quill and you figure that you must have one exactly like it. ~
47. You go to a reptile show and see a bearded dragon that "looks just like Norbert" and you carry it around for three hours referring to it as "Norbie". ~
48. You go into Walmart and see a random picture of someone that you don't know and think something along the lines of this, "Hmmm…that looks like (insert random character)…" ~
49. You refer to your favorite drink as "Butterbeer".
50. You think that two of the most cruel insults in the world are "Mudblood" and "Muggle".
51. You assume that when someone says "poltergeist" they’re talking about Peeves. ~
52. You think that one of your teachers is a squib. ~
53. You call one of your friends "Fawkes" and she responds like it's been her name forever. ~
54. You hear the word "Professor" and you try to remember if you did your online transfiguration homework. ~
55. You see your math teacher being totally A.D.D. and you wonder if he's had just a little to much FireWhiskey. ~
56. You claim that you are not planning to stalk J.K.R. ~
57. You claim that J.K.R. will eventually sell you the rights to her characters and the beautiful world that she has created for them…sooner or later… ~
58. You claim that stalking J.K.R. is not your reason for moving to the U.K. after you graduate. ~
59. You've decided not to kill off Harry in your sequel series to the "Harry Potter and The…" septology-you're just going to drive him completely mad and land him in Azkaban Prison. ~
60. You plan to "hex" your math teacher "into next year" if he argues with you "one more time…". ~
61. Someone tries to tell you that "Hogwarts isn’t real", and you smack them and start to tell them all of your "still un-tried" theories on how to get there…even if your are not "enrolled". ~
62. You seem to think that the 'beast-like-thing' in the jungle on the "Lost" island in Professor McGonagall on a menopausal rampage, trying to figure out where she is and how the heck to get back. ~
63. When you see an owl or two you look for a piece of parchment attached to one of their legs and wonder exactly what they’re doing "so far from Hogwarts during the school year". ~
64. You see two cats walking down the street side-by-side and you wonder "Who’s the new Animagus?". ~
65. You have accepted the fact that you are a (Harry Potter) freak and have told others to just "deal with it". ~
66. You say that you don’t need a ride, you'll "just Floo there". ~
67. You know what I mean when I say "One of the Weasleys is Lost!". ~
68. strikethrough/ You think “Maggie Gambon” is starting to sound "really good right about now" strikethrough/ .
69. strikethrough/ You understood/agreed with that last one. strikethrough/
70. You get EXTREMELY offended when and if someone calls you a muggle. ~
71. You know that Ron and Hermione are as meant to be "as Walt and Disney". ~
72. You know that Harry and Ginny are as meant to be as salt and pepper. ~
73. You call your history class Muggle Studies. ~
74. You have started to call you P.E. class Flying Lessons. ~
75. You have started to call chemistry or cooking class Potions. ~
76. When you computer gets a virus, randomly shuts down, or other such problems, you yell out in frustration, "BLOODY MUGGLE TECHNOLOGY!" ~
77. You think that lit sparklers look like "wands in action". (Cammie, shut up... lol) ~
78. When you see any type of Harry Potter merchandise on anyone (including people you don’t know) you say "Boo-Yah! Hogwarts pride, man! Way to show your Hogwarts pride!" and high five them. ~
79. You are a "regular" on three or more roleplaying games on AIM or YIM ~
80. You worry about your homework on your online Hogwarts' more than your "real" homework. ~
81. When you (think that you) hear that oh-so-familiar screaming, screeching noise of the un-potted Mandrakes you wonder what the 'de-petrifaction' potion tastes like… ~
82. You watch “The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie” and laugh your ass off when you hear Dame Maggie Smith say "Petrification". ~
83. You buy a Harry Potter gift bag or wrapping paper and after hours of careful thought you decide that "it may be a collectable someday" and put it in your "shrine" area with all of your other Harry Potter merchandise. ~
84. You wonder if your mother has a cell (and I'm not talking phone!) with her name on it in Azkaban Prison. ~
85. You’ve stopped having your "morning coffee"; instead you now have you "morning tea" and you take the time to read your tea leaves when you're done to determine if your day will be good or not. ~
86. You "celebrate" your favorite character's birthday every year (with a cake and everything…). ~
87. You watch “Lord Of The Rings” and when you see Sir Ian Macellen and you start whispering this to anyone who will listen; "Look-it’s the real new Dumbledore". ~
88. You think that J.K.R. will never die because she "has the Sorcerer’s Stone". ~
89. You think that Sirius Black is coming back as Sirius White. ~
90. You refer to the task of going to "school" (meaning not Hogwarts) as the now quote Wizarding form of Jury Duty quote as "Muggle Watching". ~
91. Every time you hear a song on the radio a songfic plays in your head while you hear the song. ~
(These next ones are the work of one of my friends; Fawkes! She's a person, not Dumbly's bird, lol!)
92. You refuse to eat fudge. (For the longest time I had fudge with a capitol 'F' and then AshlyPotter(Fawkes) pointed out to me that it looked wrong...) ~
93. You’re afraid of curtains. (Think Sirius. SobbSobb) ~
94. You named your pets after characters in the "Holy Books". ~
95. You classified all of your teachers based on teachers from the books. ~
96. You think the movies suck. ~
97. You think the movies suck because they didn't follow the books exactly. ~
98. You think J.K.R. is a goddess. ~
99. You plan on naming your kids after the characters. ~
100. Your friends couldn't come in contact with you after you finished the fifth book because they knew it was all you'd talk about and they were't done with the book yet. ~
101. You can talk for three hours straight about all of your theories and how they all go together and tie into each other. ~
102. You have at least three different nicknames for yourself from the books. ~
103. You have the sudden urge to beat up people who haven't read the books. ~
104. You lust after people in the books. (Let me stress that this one is from Chelsea!)
105. When the 5th(& 6th)book/movie came out you dressed for the occasion and went to the book store to celebrate. ~
106. Your parents had to send you to a special school that teaches, talks and dresses like Hogwarts so that you could actually learn something. ~
(Now they're mine again.)
107. You have little children who can guess who you are for Halloween and you're not Harry Potter. ~
108. Your make your friend dress up like your "familiar" to make yourself happy on Halloween. ~
109. You have a pen that says any of the following phrases; "Harry James Potter", "AD + MM forever", "Fudge Is Bad", "LE + JP forever", "Professor (insert your last name here)", "RW + HG forever", "Sirius Lives!", "HP + GW forever", "Lemon Drops Are Good", "RW + LL forever", "Hogwarts", "Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandos","HP + LL forever", "Ravenclaw (Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin) Pride!", or "HP + CC forever" ~
110. You actually have or know someone who has a shirt that says something along the lines of "Fudge Is Bad".
111. You have ever yelled "Expecto Patronum" at somebody. ~
112. You're planning on watching "The Golden Girls" TV show just so you can replace the characters in the show with your favourite Hogwarts professors and call it fanfiction. ~
113. You expect your "non-freak" friends to give you more reasons, why you're too much of a Harry Potter freak, that you haven't thought of yet. ~
114. You go around telling your friends that one of the actors, who plays your favourite character from the books, is your boyfriend/girlfriend.
115. You go around telling people that one of the actors or J.K. Rowling is related to you... distantly... ~
116. You have a lightning bolt shaped scar that is in fact... authentic... ~
117. You "have" your favourite character’s wand, but "won't take it out of the box to show people, in fear of something happening to it."
118. You can tell the difference between Fred and George Weasley in the movies. ~
119. You've ever heard the phrase, "I won't talk to you until you cut out the fake British accent.", directed towards you more than three times. ~
120. When you're friends ask what you're doing when it's obvious, we've all been in that situation, you say, "I'm taking my animagus lessons, what does it look like?" ~
121. Your friend says, "Anybody would be proud" and you respond, "What? Trelawney would be Frou?" (Yes, as in Austin Powers). ~
122. This thought has ever crossed your mind; "I wonder if Harry is real person..." ~
123. You've started to call one of yours friends "Buckbeak", because of the way he eats. ~
124. You see Santa Claus and start to think how much he looks like Dumbledore. (Thanks Ms.President!) ~
125. You have changed your hair colour to that of your favorite character's hair colour.
126. You have started spelling favorite, flavor and color as fovourite, flavour and colour. (Thanks Fawkes!) ~
127. You begin to call your sister Dolores and she doesn't get it because she hasn't been forced to read the books...yet...(Thanks Cammie!) ~
128. You've ever wondered what one of the characters would look like with an afro...(Thanks Cammie!) ~
129. Your English teacher ordered the "Double Trouble" sheet music for you. (Thanks Ms. Garlit!) ~
130. You wouldn't let anyone touch the sheet music once you got it. (Thanks Ms. Garlit!) ~
(These next ones are the work of the best English teacher ever!)
131. Your mom yelled at you for pulling out a feather from her Pottery Barn toss pillow to see if you could float them. "Wingardium Leviosa!"
132. You bought a set of paperback editions of Harry Potter books for your classroom because you don't trust the bloody muggles who forget their SSR books to treat the hardbacks nicely! Hmph!
133. You have a Harry Potter poster hanging in your classroom that has been laminated to protect it from greasy fingers or push-pin pokes.
134. You wish you could do your Christmas shopping... well ANY shopping at Diagon Alley. ~
135. You think a cool name for a shop or even a bar is "The Leaky Cauldron." ~
136. You have sorted the characters on "Lost" into their appropriate houses. ~
137. Your mom or grandma crocheted a scarf in your favorite house colors... rugby striped style!
138. You spend time with your students figuring out who the perfect couples are and can support your ideas with textual evidence. ~
139. If you play Magic the Gathering, you've built a deck full of centaurs and call it your Firenze Fury deck.
140. You wish you had a Time-Turner so you could spend time talking to your students after school instead of tutoring or attending some shirty school meeting. That's right, I said shirty! ~
(Ms. Garlit, you're a dork. lol)
141. You have officially invited people to you and your fangirlism's wedding... ~
You know what's sad?
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