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| Gliblord |
Author has written 20 stories for Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, Tales of the Abyss, Naruto, One Piece, and Adventure Time with Finn and Jake. My name is Giuseppe di Martino, though you can call me "Gezzaya the Beetle Lord of the Seventy-Million-and-Eighteenth Dimension, an Alternate Pocket of Reality That Is Exactly Like Our Earth, Except That Krakatoa Erupted in 889 A.D., Cher Is Pregnant With a Clone of Herself, And It's Lorded Over by Men Who Are Half Beetle." You could call me that, but it would be rather silly, not to mention time consuming and (mostly) inaccurate. Many worldlings elect to call me "Joe," and you may do so as well, at no cost whatsoever. I am a kind man; I charge no royalties. You may note a distinct lack of disclaimers in my fics. That would be due to the fact that I think they're dumb. Did you know that from a purely lawyerly standpoint, fanfiction is pretty illegal, no matter how earnestly you beg people not to sue? It's an exhilarating life, committing a crime with every keystroke. I marvel at my own prowess evading the law's cold, merciless clutches. That, however, is only part of the reason I write these homages to my favorite series. I also do it for commercial gain. As for the sordid details of my life, I shall keep mum, and cultivate an alluring mystique. I will tell you this much: If you ever hear a frantic gibbering in the night, odds are decent it's either me or one of my repulsive swamp zebras. Do excuse them; they seem to resent all the probings, and won't shut up about them. Don't be alarmed if in the clinging shadows the gleam of their equine yet strangely reptilian eyes penetrates your very soul--in reality, it's only a very mild poking of the soul. That is all. | |||||||
1. Just Add Tournament Arc! » reviewsAnd presto, a new crackfic series is born.Bleach - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 19,020 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 10-17-12 - Published: 12-27-11 - Kūgo G. & Ganju S.2. Quasipan the Nigh Lord »Finn and Jake must wage battle with a psychic alien cat overlord in order to recover Finn's memories. But can they overcome a series of obstacles inside their own minds?Adventure Time with Finn and Jake - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,557 - Published: 8-28-12 - Finn & Jake3. No One Doesn't Love Friend Time with Shuu Chan! reviewsJust when I thought I'd left the Bleach crackfic addiction behind me, Kubo had to come up with another ridiculously, irresistibly lulzy haxathon.Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,072 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 11-29-11 - S. Tsukishima & Kūgo G.4. Dances with Devils » reviewsThe crew has just reunited after 3D2Y, but a hermetic cult of Satan worshiping endtimes elitist misfits have quite the human sacrifice scheme in store for our lovable Straw Hats-masterminded by a sinister and mysterious figure from Sanji's past.One Piece - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 29,771 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 8-16-11 - Published: 8-15-11 - Luffy & Sanji - Complete5. Devil Fruit » reviewsThe story of how the characters of One Piece came across their Devil Fruits.One Piece - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,531 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 10-11-10 - Published: 5-18-09 - Chopper & Brook6. Bad Pirates reviewsLuffy reminisces on tales of bad pirates past.One Piece - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,589 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 10-3-10 - Luffy & Nami - Complete7. Ichigo's Mom Is Pretty Hax reviewsOh, Aizen, you got played.Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,968 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 7-3-10 - Ichigo K. - Complete8. The Visionary reviewsSakura/Naruto drabble.Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,034 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4-20-09 - Sakura H. & Hinata H.9. How Aizen Recovered His Rightful Groove » reviewsGin and Aizen reflect on just how they got so ridiculously, plotbendingly powerful. NOTE: DEADFIC.Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,251 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 9-15-08 - Published: 8-10-07 - S. Aizen & G. Ichimaru10. Help reviewsByakuya/Yoruichi. Yoruichi has issued an S.O.S., and Byakuya rushes to her aid, just as she helped him so many years ago...Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,033 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 8-14-08 - Byakuya K. & Yoruichi S. - Complete11. The Lion Alone reviewsThe Score has inflicted itself upon Largo and his tribe for far too long. Dare he partake in destroying the Score? Or is Van Grants just another link in a long line of liars?Tales of the Abyss - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,219 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 8-9-07 - Largo & Van12. Guts reviewsA mushtastic RenjiRukia fic rife with reminiscence and fluff.Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,573 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 6-14-07 - Renji A. & Rukia K. - Complete13. Comparison reviewsRukia can barely speak under the weight of her new name.Bleach - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,495 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 3-23-07 - Rukia K. & Byakuya K. - Complete14. The Crimson Torrent reviewsOld ScarLust drabble. Scar is so awesome it's hard to elaborate.Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,067 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3-9-07 - Lust & Scar - Complete15. Trashtalk reviewsWhat Urahara and Yoruichi engage in every weekend.Bleach - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,873 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-9-07 - K. Urahara & Yoruichi S. - Complete16. Reversal of Fortune reviewsYoruichi must teach Byakuya to free his mind, so to speak. He has unwittingly given her the tools to achieve that end. Her name is Hisana. She's a lowly commoner. Yoruichi licks her lips. Oh, this will be fun.Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,196 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3-9-07 - Byakuya K. & Yoruichi S. - Complete17. Show Your Weakness reviewsSoi Fong observed the man with the impossibly huge grin. He was a friend of Yoruichi's. One that wasn't her. He would have to perish for this sin.Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,474 - Reviews: 17 - Published: 3-9-07 - K. Urahara & Suì-Fēng - Complete18. Damn Hughes reviewsThe illicit brainchild of my sizzling wit and a challenge to make a RoyDante fic. Don't worry, your brain will not burn as much as mine did writing this. I strove against the subject matter to make it great. Needless to say, I delivered.Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,893 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 3-9-07 - Roy M. & Edward E. - Complete19. A Brief History of the Bounto reviewsIf you missed the filler, fear not: this handy document shall sate your inexplicable thirst to know all about the Bounto and their increasingly nonsensical storyline!Bleach - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,747 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 3-9-07 - Ichigo K. & Uryuu I. - Complete20. Contrast reviewsAU Tatsuki, now a shinigami in training, must write on a subject she knows nothing about for a contest she hasn't a chance of winning. Enter the newly venerated, adored and adulated idiot named Ichigo. Will she improve under his tutelage in time?Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,327 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 3-9-07 - Tatsuki A. & Ichigo K. - Complete
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