Author has written 19 stories for Lord of the Rings, Phantom of the Opera, Discworld, Hellsing, Harry Potter, Avatar: Last Airbender, X-Men: Evolution, Sandman, Greek Mythology, Star Trek: 2009, and Corpse Bride.

SarahBelle isn't my real name, obviously, but it is a nickname which my mum coined for me a long time ago, which might suggest to you what my real name actually is. Can you guess? I chose it as a user name over some less flattering nicknames that have haunted me through my life...such as Nelly the elephant (because one of my middle names is Eleanor, not because I was fat) a 'rouge and peasant slave' (something my dad pinched from Hamlet)and a rapscallion...

I am twenty, and thus am getting ready for that great big world out there...beyond university.

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I am very appreciative of the worlds of both Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, although I am not in love with any of the main characters, nor do I see any need to change their sexual preferences. Aragorn spent about fifty or sixty years trying to be worthy enough to marry Arwen, people, I hardly think he's suddenly going to start a little love shack with Legolas. And we now know that Snape has been in love with Lily Potter for all of his life, so for him to 'get it on' with her son is now something of a no-no. These, in short, are an expression of my view on slash fics. I have no objection to homosexual, bisexual or even trisexual original characters, but if the author of the original work provides examples to justify that their creations are straight or gay, then it's probably best to stick to canon.

Unless, of course, it's an AU. In which case, anything goes. (Also, J.K. has stated that Dumbledore's gay, so feel free to go wild, people.)

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Mary Sues. Another thing I do not like, and this is because I have come a long, long way from my first fanfiction, which involved one called Arien. Of her, let no more be said. Brrrr.

However, I do understand why there are so many of them around, especially in LOTR stories - apart from the obvious reason; there are so few female roles in that particular epic story that we, sympathetic little readers that we are, feel that we simply must make up for Prof Tolkein's shocking lack of foresight. And make the new girls rather kick arse at the same time.

This is all very well, but let me point out, once and for all, and I don't care what the cartoons claim:

Violet pigmentation of the eyes is not natural, unless your eyes are blue and you have too many blood vessels in them and it shows through your irises, which is not very romantic. Nor is a white streak in the hair; never mind what Johnny Depp says. They do not have coloured contacts or bleach in Middle Earth, dammit. Every normal human being gets spots. (Elves I'm not so sure about, but for the principle of the thing we'll say they do.) It is possible to be good at practically everything and anything that the plot requires, but it is very rare and often means that you basically have no social life, or at least no people skills.

And if there really were so many confused young modern women dropping into Middle Earth every day of the week, they could have started up a slave trade.

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I am quite fond of reading - which has lead many of my class mates over the years to ask just how many books I have read in my entire life, and has also led to my less than polite answer, "How the hell should I know?" - and read whenever I can. I don't read when I'm studying, when I'm writing, when I'm sleeping, and when I'm playing tennis, another hobby of mine - though I have found out you can play tennis whle holding an open umbrella. (Don't ask.) Otherwise, it's pretty much all read. I even read while I'm on the internet sometimes, and that's saying something.

One pet peeve of mine is people who don't read that often asking me why I read the same books over and over again. Isn't that the point of buying a book, or getting it out from the library? You don't do it just to read it once, and then never look at it again. You read it again because you enjoy it. If you like a film you don't just watch it once, if you like a piece of music you don't listen to it once. It's the same with books, it's like meeting an old friend. (That's what my mum calls the books we've had since I was little and pick off the shelves to read once more: 'old friends'.)

So, my favourite books are:

The Lovely Bones. A story where the protagonist is already dead, but keeps watch upon her family on earth, hoping that her murderer will be brought to justice. One of the most beautiful books I have ever read, and also partly inspired me to write L'epoux cadavre.

Howl's Moving Castle. A very fun story. The heroine's about ninety years old, the hero's a stuck up play boy, and there's a fire demon in the hearth. Did I mention that the castle moves? Written a long time ago, but still enjoyable.

His Dark Materials. It's an epic stretching through multiple worlds, a story about growing up in harsh circumstances, a love story, and a strike out against the order of the universe, all packed into three books. Words cannot do it justice, though I try. If the first film had not lived up to the splendour that is the books, I would have hunted the makers down and keeled them. As it is, I can approve of what they did, even if they left off the original ending. And called it by the American title. And decieved the little children by the deliberately cute ending.

The Gormenghast trilogy. Titus Alone was a bit odd, but the first two are wonderfully dark and lugubrious. It's fantasy without the fantasy, in the best possible way.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy. (What is it with me and trilogies, I wonder?) Do I really need to explain this one?

American Gods, Anansi Boys. Anything by Neil Gaiman is a favourite with me. Anything with mythology is a favourite with me. Anything with comedy is a great favourite with me: curious, because I'm so bad at writing it. Thus, these two are the books I wish I could have written, if only I'd thought of it first.

The Book Thief: Set in Nazi Germany, it tells the story of a girl called Liesel as she learns to live with her foster parents and gathers a collection of stolen books. The twist? It's narrated by Death. One of the very few books I've read that still makes me cry every time I read it.

The Green Mile: One of Stephen King's best works, and the one that I like the most. I want a mouse like Mr. Jingles.

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I have some things to say about the Pirates of the Caribbean films:

5. Those pirates seriously need to kick their rum addiction, or at least get addicted to something marginally more healthy. Barbossa may be a treacherous underhanded lying first mate with a penchant for big hats, but at least he knows that an apple a day keeps the gut rot away.

4. Will should definitely have said something like, "For once I'd like to meet an enemy that - I don't know - maybe stays down when you stab them repeatedly in the chest." Preferably when his sword's stuck in Davey Jones's chest.

3. Speaking of that, Will Turner's a sweet lad, but something's stuck up his backside, and he needs to get it out and fast - though admittedly seeing your fiancee snogging someone who tried to sell your soul doesn't exactly help.

2. Elizabeth Swann is truly a wonderful young woman. She's learned to sword fight like an elf, become a pirate king, exchanged saliva (my own personal term for french-kissing) with two extremely handsome men, broken one's heart, left the other chained to a mast to be eaten by a giant squid thingy...but surely her greatest and most impressive achievement to date is finding some hair bleach in the eighteeenth century.

And number one:

1. Captain Jack Sparrow is a loveable bastard, a.k.a DA BOMB. But that doesn't change the fact that he runs like a girl.

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According to a quiz that unfortunately appears to have disappeared from the web (I wonder why?), my alter ego in Neil Gaiman's Sandman universe is everyone's favourite spunky goth girl, Death.

It explains a lot, actually.

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Things I have always wanted to say, but probably never will, because I've filched them from various sources:

When my mental processes are questioned: Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops. (Arsenic and Old Lace.)

When people say the man is the head of a household or a business or some such thing: Let me tell you something...the man is the head, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants.(My Big Fat Greek Wedding.)

To everyone who aborts their baby because it's the wrong gender: More people would have babies if they came with free garlic bread. (Third rock from the sun.)

To anyone who is racist or generally annoyed by the fact that Jesus might have been anything other than white: White folks only want to hear the good shit: life eternal, a place in God's Heaven. But as soon as they hear they're getting this good shit from a black Jesus, they freak. And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy. A black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Savior. You gonna eat that hash brown? (Dogma)

To anyone who is anti-semitic or violently opposed to other religions: How odd of God to choose the Jews/ but not so odd as those who choose a Jewish god yet spurn the Jews. (William Norman Ewer, reply generally considered to be written by Cecil Brown or Ogden Nash.)

If I could make one speech with an echoing voice and glowing eyes and generally looking as if I'd been possessed by a demon, this would be it: Evil is an abstract! It's a human construct! But true to his irresponsible nature, Man won't hold up to being its engineer, so he blames his dark deeds on my ilk! But it's not enough to shadow his own existence, no; he turned Hell into a suffering pit. And why? Because it is beyond your abilities to simply make personal recompence for the sins you commit. No, you choose rather to invent a psycho drama, and dwell in a foundless belief that God will never forgive your grievous offences! So you bring your guilt and your inner decay with you to Hell, where the whored imagination of so many gluttons for punishment gave birth to the sickness that has infected the abyss since the first one of your kind arrived there, begging to be punished! And in doing so, they have transformed the cold and solitude to pain and misery. I' ve spent aeons privy to the flames, inhaling the decay, hearing the wail of the damned. I know what effect such horrors have on the delicate psyche of an angelic being! (Dogma)

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Finally, a quick overview of some of my more popular stories, for those of you who for some reason aren't drawn in by the sparse descriptions:

L'epoux cadavre - My sister and I went to see A Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy, and watching the trailers before the film we saw the trailer for Corpse Bride, and since we were practically the only two in a dark theatre, we were rather freaked by it. I was in the middle of my Phantom of the Opera obsession at the time, and that night as I lay awake, I began to wonder what it would be like if I wrote a crossover between the two...

And the rest, as they say, is history. (It's the first major writing project I've ever finished. Sniff. I'm so proud...)

Ill met by moonlight: Inspired by Asenath's A Savage place. Hellsing, after Incognito's attack, has to cope with evil faeries in Ireland. Hopefully better than it sounds. Couples are sketchy, though people seem to like the interaction between Seras and Pip.

Flowers of the citadel - I've revamped it a few times since starting it back in 2005, but the story remains basically the same: the fairly typical 'Boromir and Faramir have a sister' plot, one that people often use for Mary-Sues. The difference is that people say they like my character. I like her too, even though she's skanky. And kinda gay. (Guess where I got that from!) As I've said somewhere else but can't remember exactly where, she's the result of my brainchild concerning what would happen if Denethor would raise a daughter, considering how he did with his sons. Unfortunately, this project is dead in the water.

Children of the blue sky - Anyone who has read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant - the story of Jacob (of biblical fame)'s four wives and his only daughter - will recognise its influence upon this particular work. This story was started not only to defend my theory that not everyone from Rhun was evil, but also to try and make believable OCs and work with all the ideas that Tolkein never had time or inclination to expand upon, including the part that certain people had to play in the War of the Ring...

...and that's all I'm saying. When it gets longer you'll see what I mean.

The blood is the life - In a nutshell, it's Star Trek rebooted, with vampires who definitely don't sparkle but who do drink blood. And quite a lot of it.

I think that's enough for anyone who's curious. Toodles!