SarahBelle isn't my real name, obviously, but it is a nickname which my mum coined for me a long time ago, which might suggest to you what my real name actually is. Can you guess? I chose it as a user name over some less flattering nicknames that have haunted me through my life...such as Nelly the elephant (because one of my middle names is Eleanor, not because I was fat) a 'rouge and peasant slave' (something my dad pinched from Hamlet)and a rapscallion...
A while ago I was aiming to improve my humorous writing, and the result was POTO: What 'they' didn't want you to see! Which says a lot about my sense of humour. No wonder I stopped in the end. I believe I am slightly more proficient in writing gothic romance - 'L'epoux cadavre' is my baby. Don't flame my baby!
I am nineteen, and thus am getting ready for that great big world out there...beyond university.
I am very appreciative of the worlds of both Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, although I am not in love with any of the main characters, nor do I see any need to change their sexual preferences. Aragorn spent about fifty or sixty years trying to be worthy enough to marry Arwen, people, I hardly think he's suddenly going to start a little love shack with Legolas. And we now know that Snape has been in love with Lily Potter for all of his life, so for him to 'get it on' with her son is now something of a no-no. These, in short, are an expression of my view on slash fics. I have no objection to homosexual, bisexual or even trisexual original characters (goodness, how busy that last lot must be!) but if the author of the original work says that their creations are straight or gay, and even provides examples to justify their decision, then it's probably best to stick to canon.
Unless, of course, it's an AU. In which case, anything goes. (Also, J.K. has stated that Dumbledore's gay, so feel free to go wild, people.)
Mary Sues. Another thing I do not like, and this is because I have come a long, long way from my first fanfiction, which involved one called Arien. Of her let no more be said.However, I do understand why there are so many of them around, especially in LOTR stories - apart from the obvious reason. I myself, in an attempt to combat this growing plague, have created an OC called Nienor. She is 1) Boromir and Faramir's sister, which pretty much doomed her from the start, I should think, 2) very pretty, because she resembles her mother quite a lot, and 3) had a stressful childhood, since her chief lady in waiting beat her and Denethor was never exactly fond of her, considering that her birth killed her mother, but nevertheless the attitude isn't exactly new to him.
Nonetheless, I hope and pray that she is not a Mary-Sue, for the simple reason that she isn't perfect. She's far from perfect, believe me. She's a misanthrope, an invalid, sarcastic, bitter and isn't quite so pretty any longer, which does not improve her temper by any means. Plus there's no way she'd fall in love with any of the male main characters. She's a bit like a female version of Denethor, to be perfectly honest.
To come back to my point, there are so few female roles in that particular story that we, sympathetic little readers that we are, feel that we simply must make up for Prof Tolkein's shocking lack of foresight. And make the new girls rather kick arse at the same time.
This is all very well, but let me point out, once and for all, and I don't care what the cartoons say:
Violet pigmentation of the eyes is not natural, (unless your eyes are blue and you have too much blood in them and it shows through your irises, which is not very romantic). Nor is a white streak in the hair; never mind what Johnny Depp says. They do not have coloured contacts or bleach in Middle Earth, dammit. Every normal human being gets spots. (Elves I'm not so sure about, but for the principle of the thing we'll say they do.) It is possible to be good at practically everything and anything, but it is very rare and often means that you basically have no social life, or at least no people skills.
And if there really were so many confused young modern women dropping into Middle Earth every day of the week, they could have started up a slave trade.
When it comes to anime, as it comes to a lot of us, I'm afraid, I'd have to say that Twelve Kingdoms is my favourite.This is Lord of the Rings plus War and Peace rolled into one, and placed in an anime. And also books, which were just as good. This just shows us that American cartoons have still got a long way to go, though admittedly Avatar: The Last Airbender is getting there. It's got everything you could want, except romance (the only romantic attachment is over before the story really starts, and went rather badly in any case) but you really don't miss it. There are so many great characters. There are flying tigers. There's a magic sword haunted by a monkey spirit. There are trees that give birth to babies. There are extremely funky unicorns (kirin, for those who wish to be exact).There's a mouse that turns into a man. There's even - drumroll, please - a plot! And a good one at that.And, if you hate random normal female characters dropping into a magical kingdom and being important to the plot (see above), you'll love what they do to one of those girls-who-isn't-really-a-saviour-but-wishes-like-heck-she-is-and-goes-crazy-psycho-when-she finds-out-such-is-not-the-case.
Hellsing. Well, and why not? Integra and Alucard: she's a no-nonsense, tough cookie English knight who dresses like a bloke and yet still manages to be totally gorgeous; he's a manic, blood-thirsty, centuries old vampire servant who used to be Dracula (still is, if you think about it). They fight crime! Well, the undead, complete with their rotting ghoul servants - eh, close enough. Plus there's a calm English butler (now psychotic vampire) with a monocle who kills people using only steel dental floss. Gotta love the steel floss.
Howl's Moving Castle. Show me some fluffy interaction between a flaxen-haired (for the moment) wizard play-boy and a cursed young woman-turned-crone, complete with a cranky fire-demon and a walking castle that looks like a pig with mutant carbuncles, and you have a satisfied little half-Irish author. Mmm.
Fullmetal Alchemist. Two gifted brothers, journeying to find some way of regaining the respective body parts (a whole body, in Al's case) that they lost in trying and failing to resurrect their mother, while foiling various plots hatched by various shady characters and doing their best not to get themselves killed or blown up or eaten in the process. Exceptional stuff, though the program had me with the very first batch of flashy lights.
Noein. Angst ridden and in some cases crazy people from a parallel world keep trying to kidnap a teenager who lives in an idyllic Japanese town because she is the Dragon Torque. Much of use of quantum physics, as well as Schrodinger's cat, leads to some interesting themes; there are lots of fight scenes where people burst through things and things burst out of people, and the hero Karasu sits on the roof a lot and broods. One of the biggest mysteries to me was what purpose Noein himself served, right until he turned up about half way through and killed one of the best characters.
Gankutsuou. It's Count of Monte Cristo set thousands of years into the future, with pretty kimonos and floaty dresses; what more could you ask for? I don't even mind that they messed rather a lot with the later plot of the book, or that they gratuitously stuck in some fighting mecha. It was made by Gonzo, after all; they would have had to stick in some mecha somewhere.
Ouran High school host club - everyone should watch this, and I mean everyone. This is one of the greatest things I've ever seen. It's like Shakespeare's Twelfth Night gone completely nuts, in that the main girl wears a boy's uniform and gets mistaken for one by most of the school , her dad's a crossdresser, and in one episode almost all the male main characters get dolled up as princesses. (I think the most disturbing and yet amusing fact about that is that they actually looked pretty good as girls.) I somehow doubt the english dub will do it justice, but I love it too much to care.
Witch Hunter Robin - Witches. Conspiracies. Shoot-outs. A crack team of investigators. A fifteen year old Catholic nun/schoolgirl with pyrokinetic powers, who can incinerate you just by looking at you, and also has a really, really lovely hairdo. (I'd do my hair like that, if it was long enough.) A gruff agent who bought the aforementioned nun/schoolgirl glasses, and who happens to be the spiffiest guy in black I've ever seen in anime. Put them all together, and you've got yourself a winner.
Princess Tutu. Avert not ye eyes! Don't be put off by the soppy name, this is definitely more impressive than the title suggests. At first it starts off as something of a magical girl story, but quite soon it gets on to deep stuff like destiny and fate and how much control you have over your actions, especially if someone else is pulling the strings - or, in this case, wielding the pen. Also it features lots of fairy stories, and lots of wonderful classical music. I always like to say that this anime is something like The Matrix, only with ballet.
I am quite passionate about reading - which has lead many of my class mates over the years to ask just how many books I have read in my entire life, and has also led to my less than polite answer, "How the hell should I know?" - and read whenever I can. I don't read when I'm studying, when I'm writing, when I'm sleeping, and when I'm playing tennis, another passion of mine - though I have found out you can play tennis whle holding an open umbrella. (Don't ask.) Otherwise, it's pretty much all read. I even read while I'm on the internet sometimes, and that's saying something.
One pet peeve of mine is people who don't read that often asking me why I read the same books over and over again. Isn't that the point of buying a book, or getting it out from the library? You don't do it just to read it once, and then never look at it again. You read it again because you enjoy it. If you like a film you don't just watch it once, if you like a piece of music you don't listen to it once. It's the same with books, it's like meeting an old friend. (That's what my mum calls the books we've had since I was little and pick off the shelves to read once more: 'old friends'.)
Currently, my favourite books are:
The Lovely Bones. A story where the protagonist is already dead, but keeps watch upon her family on earth, hoping that her murderer will be brought to justice. One of the most beautiful books I have ever read, and also partly inspired me to write L'epoux cadavre.
Howl's Moving Castle. A very fun story. The heroine's about ninety years old, the hero's a stuck up play boy, and there's a fire demon in the hearth. Did I mention that the castle moves? Written a long time ago, but still enjoyable.
His Dark Materials. It's an epic stretching through multiple worlds, a story about growing up in harsh circumstances, a love story, and a strike out against the order of the universe, all packed into three books. Words cannot do it justice, though I try. If the first film had not lived up to the splendour that is the books, I would have hunted the makers down and keeled them. As it is, I can approve of what they did, even if they left off the original ending. And called it by the American title. And decieved the little children by the deliberately cute ending.
The Gormenghast trilogy. Titus Alone was a bit odd, but the first two are wonderfully dark and lugubrious. It's fantasy without the fantasy, in the best possible way.
The Lord of the Rings trilogy. (What is it with me and trilogies, I wonder?) Do I really need to explain this one?
American Gods and Anansi Boys. Anything by Neil Gaiman is a favourite with me. Anything with mythology is a favourite with me. Anything with comedy is a great favourite with me: curious, because I'm so bad at writing it. Thus, these two are the books I wish I could have written, if only I'd thought of it first.
The Book Thief: Set in Nazi Germany, it tells the story of a girl called Liesel as she learns to live with her foster parents and gathers a collection of stolen books. The twist? It's narrated by Death. One of the very few books I've read that still makes me cry every time I read it.
The Green Mile: One of Stephen King's best works, and the one that I like the most. I want a mouse like Mr. Jingles.
I have some things to say about the Pirates of the Caribbean films:
5. Those pirates seriously need to kick their rum addiction, or at least get addicted to something marginally more healthy. Barbossa may be a treacherous underhanded lying first mate with a penchant for big hats, but at least he knows that an apple a day keeps the gut rot away.
4. Will should definitely have said something like, "For once I'd like to meet an enemy that - I don't know - maybe stays down when you stab them repeatedly in the chest." Preferably when his sword's stuck in Davey Jones's chest.
3. Speaking of that, Will Turner's a sweet lad, but something's stuck up his backside, and he needs to get it out and fast - though admittedly seeing your fiancee snogging someone who tried to sell your soul doesn't exactly help.
2. Elizabeth Swann is truly a wonderful young woman. She's learned to sword fight like an elf, become a pirate king, exchanged saliva (my own personal term for french-kissing) with two extremely handsome men, broken one's heart, left the other chained to a mast to be eaten by a giant squid thingy...but surely her greatest and most impressive achievement to date is finding some hair bleach in the eighteeenth century.
And number one:
1. Captain Jack Sparrow is a loveable bastard, a.k.a DA BOMB. But that doesn't change the fact that he runs like a girl.
I must admit, I do have a liking for musicals. Come on, there's something endearing about shows where the cast members burst into tuneful song for no apparent reason, and unlike most operas they usually have bits of spoken dialogue for those who can get a teensy bit tired of the singing. Not that that should happen anyway. I mean, it's a musical. What were you expecting when you went in, a philosophical debate? Hardly.So, my favourite musicals in order:
1. Phantom of the Opera. It's got everything a musical could want. Lovey dovey bits, creepy eepy bits, a boat that glides across the stage - except when it gets stuck - a scene where everyone goes around in masks; trap doors, tilting staircases, gorgeous costumes, and a falling chandelier. (I secretly think every show should have one, if only to make sure everyone is still awake come the interval; but then it wouldn't make the show so unique.) Plus the songs are great, and the theme tune gets into your head more effectively than a really annoying supermarket jingle. Only you like it. Plus I love the story.
2. Rent. I didn't discover this one until recently, but I'm so glad that I did. Rent has wicked songs, and it breaks just about every mould a musical can break. Jonathan Larson, the man who wrote Rent, focused on really nitty gritty things like AIDS and drug abuse, and yet still managed to make the thing so funny in places and so heartbreakingly sad in other places. Also, it's probably the first musical to show not just one but two same sex relationships out of the three main ones in the show. And - a real point in its favour - La vie boheme was the first song I've ever heard that actually made me want to dance on a table.
3. Spamalot. Anyone who knows anything about Monty Python knows about this. I cannot possibly overstate how side-splittingly funny this show is. It's the first musical I've been to that I thought I might actually die of laughter from watching. (Ah, well, it's the way I'd want to go.) One of the best bits was when practically everyone in the theatre was singing along to 'Always look on the bright side of life'. Everyone should go to watch this; but please, please, please make sure to bring along someone who has had their sense of humour surgically removed (and helpfully has a basic knowledge of CPR) so that they can resucitate you when you pass out from laughing too much and forgetting to breathe.
4. Guys and Dolls. Gamblers in America in the 1950s in New York, playing dice games in various places around the city while trying not to get caught by the police, and having a marvellous time doing it. At the same time as trying to win bets for one thousand dollars, take Salvation Army recruits to Havanna and avoid getting married to fiancees of fourteen years. What's not to like? And it's as funny as the really hot place 'downstairs'.
5. The Scarlet Pimpernel. I don't think this gets enough recognition. Percy Blakeney and Marguerite and Chauvelin all stick in the brain, and so do their songs. If British aristocrats are able to rescue their continental counterparts from the revolution and still have time to sing about it, then it's worth taking notice of.
According to a quiz that unfortunately appears to have disappeared from the web (I wonder why?), my alter ego in Neil Gaiman's Sandman universe is everyone's favourite spunky goth girl, Death.It explains a lot, actually.
Things I have always wanted to say, but probably never will, because I've filched them from various sources:When my mental processes are questioned: Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops. (Arsenic and Old Lace.)
When people say the man is the head of a household or a business or some such thing: Let me tell you something...the man is the head, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants.(My Big Fat Greek Wedding.)
To everyone who aborts their baby because it's the wrong gender: More people would have babies if they came with free garlic bread. (Third rock from the sun.)
To anyone who is racist or generally annoyed by the fact that Jesus might have been anything other than white: White folks only want to hear the good shit: life eternal, a place in God's Heaven. But as soon as they hear they're getting this good shit from a black Jesus, they freak. And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy. A black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Savior.(Dogma)
To anyone who is anti-semitic or violently opposed to other religions: How odd of God to choose the Jews; yet not so odd as those who choose a Jewish god yet spurn the Jews.
If I could make one speech with an echoing voice and glowing eyes and generally looking as if I'd been possessed by a demon, this would be it: Evil is an abstract! It's a human construct! But true to his irresponsible nature, Man won't hold up to being its engineer, so he blames his dark deeds on my ilk! But it's not enough to shadow his own existence, no; he turned Hell into a suffering pit. And why? Because it is beyond your abilities to simply make personal recompence for the sins you commit. No, you choose rather to invent a psycho drama, and dwell in a foundless belief that God will never forgive your grievous offences! So you bring your guilt and your inner decay with you to Hell, where the whored imagination of so many gluttons for punishment gave birth to the sickness that has infected the abyss since the first one of your kind arrived there, begging to be punished! And in doing so, they have transformed the cold and solitude to pain and misery. I' ve spent aeons privy to the flames, inhaling the decay, hearing the wail of the damned. I know what effect such horrors have on the delicate psyche of an angelic being! (Dogma)
Finally, a quick overview of some of my more popular stories, for those of you who aren't drawn in by the sparse descriptions:L'epoux cadavre - My sister and I went to see A Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy, and watching the trailers before the film we saw the trailer for Corpse Bride, and were rather freaked by it. I was in the middle of my Phantom of the Opera obsession at the time, and that night as I lay awake, I thought of what it would be like if I wrote a crossover between the two...
And the rest, as they say, is history.
Ill met by moonlight: Inspired by Asenath's A Savage place. Hellsing, after Incognito's attack, has to cope with evil faeries in Ireland. Hopefully better than it sounds. Couples are sketchy, though people seem to like the interaction between Seras and Pip.
Flowers of the citadel - I've revamped it a few times since starting it back in 2005, but the story remains basically the same: the fairly typical 'Boromir and Faramir have a sister' plot, one that people often use for Mary-Sues. The difference is that people say they like my character. I like her too, even though she's skanky. And kinda gay. (Guess where I got that from!) As I've said somewhere else but can't remember exactly where, she's the result of my brainchild concerning what would happen if Denethor would raise a daughter, considering how he did with his sons.
Child of the blue sky - Anyone who has read The Red Tent by Anita Diamant - the story of Jacob (of biblical fame)'s four wives and his only daughter - will recognise its influence upon this particular work. This story was started not only to defend my theory that not everyone from Rhun was evil, but also to work with all the ideas that Tolkein never had time or inclination to expand upon, including the part that certain people had to play in the War of the Ring...
...and that's all I'm saying. When it gets longer you'll see what I mean.
I think that's enough for anyone who's curious. Toodles!
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