Konbanwa, minna-san! n_n It's Crispy updating her profile to prove that contrary to popular belief, she's still alive somewhere and still chugging the coffee, instant lemonade, and staying up 'till 4am every day playing Maple Story like always... n_n

AAAAAAAAAnyways... here's some crap about me you probably don't want to know but are probably going to read anyways because you're bored enough to be reading MY PROFILE in the first place... O_oU

Name: If you know me in real life, "Coffee Girl" should be enough to identify me. If it isn't enough, you don't know me well enough to know my -real- name... Mwahahahaha... n_n ... tho' I WILL tell you it's really weird and means 'rebellion' in Russian... (Yeah, Sessha is Russian... got a problem with that...? n_n /takes out infamous pudding launcher/ No? Good for you. n_n)

Age: Is 14, looks older, always acts either 4 or 44. Yeah. I'm THAT WEIRD... n_n

Height: 5'6" without shoes, 5'8" with my uber-spiffy black shoes of doomliness and death... n_n

Weight: If you're perverted enough to be curious, I have a very good friend of mine to introduce you to... Mr. Uber-Spiffy-Sharp-Pointy-Huge-Knife-With-A-Serrated-Edge. I'm sure you two will get along very nicely. =P

Hair: long, wavy and brown down to my waist, usually worn down... I WANNA GROW IT OUT TO MY ANKLES! XD

Eyes: Change colors in the light... Bright dark green in the light, look brown in the dark... usually witha look of either sadness or hyperness... n_n

Fav. Colors: Black, all shades of blue and red, and white. YES, I'M A SOUJIRO-SAMA FANGIRL! SOUJIRO-SAMA IS SO AWESOME! XD

Fav. Japanese song: (besides Hikari, Heart of Sword, 1/3 Junjou no Kanjou, and DAME, which you guys already know I'm practically addicted to... lol.) Pink Rose by Kiyommy and Seiya, Firefly by Be 4 U (Both from the American version of DDR: Extreme... LOVE that game... n_n)

Fav. English song: ooh, tough call... I'd have to say anything by Evanescence orLinkin Park... BEST... GROUPS... EVER... n_n

Fav. animes: (In order) Rurouni Kenshin, Yuu Yuu Hakusho, Fruits Basket, Chobits, Cowboy Bebop, Alichino (which like nobody has heard of and is only good for the gorgeous art... O_O), Shaman King , and Yugioh just because I hate the characters SO MUCH that it's fun just to laugh at...

Fav. hobbies: Maple Story (GREATEST ONLINE GAME EVER! If you join, go to Scania and look up username 'Sycanthe', that's me and I'm almost always on these days... n_nU), drawing anime (trying and failing to improve my pathetic drawing ineptitude, more like...), listening to random music, being an obsessive Soujiro-sama fangirl, chewing gum, email blasting my friends... n_n

Favorite anime characters:

1.) SOUJIRO-SAMA! SOUJIRO-SAMA! SOUJIRO-SAMA! SOUJIRO-SAMA! SOUJIRO-SAMA! SOUJIRO-SAMA! SOUJIRO-SAMA! SOUJIRO-SAMA! continues until passes out from over-ranting-itus

2.) Hiei-san! Hiei-san's a pyromancer! I wish I could be a pyromancer... BLACK DRAGON HELL FIRE! So... damn... spiffy... XD

3.) Shishio-san! He's the one who taught me what it's like to be true pyro... n_n (I WENT AS SHISHIO-SAN FOR HALLOWEEN LAST YEAR! XD)

4.) Kamatari-san! There's just something SO AWESOME about being a transvestite with a freaking huge 7 foot long chain scythe you can use to decapitate all the random idiots around you... oooh... decapitation. n_n

5.) Faust and Ren from Shaman King! They're the only cool people in the whole show, and the only reason I read it...

6.) Zuko from Avatar! The only cool person in the whole show, and what's NOT cool about a guy that can shoot fire out his feet...? LOL...

7.) Raven from Teen Titans... Raven... SO DARK AND DEPRESSING... Dark and depressingness is spiffy. n_n

I'm probably forgetting some people... oh well... -_-U

Other favorite stuff:

Homestarrunner.com, Albinoblacksheep.com, cow plushies, cola, PS2 gaming, RPG's, fire, Aquarius, instant cappuccino, and I think anybody with red eyes is AWESOME. n_n (dang, I wish my eyes were red... ALL evil people have red eyes...-_-U)

Favorite anime obsession/bishy:

If you haven't guessed already... SOUJIRO-SAMA! n_n

Favorite Fic pairings:

Shishio x Yumi

Misao x Aoshi

Katara x Zuko

Faust x Eliza

Sano x Megumi

Yahiko x Tsubame (It's fluff! FLUFF! I love fluff romance... SO... DAMN... CUTE... n_n)

LEAST favorite fic pairings: I hate these withthe passion of a thousand suns... n_n

OC (original character of any kind) x anybody... there's a REASON the manga creator either created a character for them romantically or didn't. And I believe people should respect that. Especially because in the OC romances I've read, EVERY SINGLE FREAKING ONE OF THEM IS A MARY-SUE. I. HATE. MARY-SUES. The manga creator either put in a lot of time and energy designing a suitable match for the character, or PURPOSEFULLY decided for them to stay single. Pairing up Mr. Random-Bishy with Ms. Random-Mary-Sue-Damsel-In-Distress makes me so pissed off, I swear my head'll explode... -_-

Katara x Aang... AANG IS AN UGLY MONK 3RD GRADER WITH A ROAD SIGN PAINTED ON HIS HEAD! ...Plus, Katara x Zuko is cuteness. n_n

Any alternate pairings... this includes stuff like Kaoru x Sano, Kaoru x Aoshi, Megumi x Aoshi, Misao x Saito (O_OU), and... my ultimate least favorite pairing of all time...

MISAOX SOUJIRO. IF IT IS HUMANLY POSSIBLE FOR ME TO DETEST THIS PAIRING ANY MORE, I WOULD BE AMAZED. More thanamazed. So deep is my passionate hatred... I'd rather cut my own head off with a plastic butter knife than have to read a fic like this... I read a couple just to try it out... UTTERLY PATHETIC. I don't mean to speak in stereotypes because some authors and authoresses are quite good, but... THIS PAIRING! THIS PAIRING! It makes me want to bang my head against a wall and scream how you can possibly imagine something this OOC for both characters... FIRST OF ALL... Misao x Aoshi isa cute couple. An adorable couple. People's hearts are not easy to change, and feelings of love are more resilient than others. (quoting 'A City With No People' from Chobits...) Misao has known Aoshi for a very long time, and is obviously very deeply in love with him. And Aoshi cares a lot about her also, as is evident in the few times he speaks of her. He wants to protect her, and keep her out of danger. If THAT isn't cute, I dunno what IS. Plus, if you are otaku enough to have read "Haru no Sakura" (like Crispy has), a short story published by Watsuki after the conclusion of the Rurouni Kenshin series, you notice that Misao and Aoshi are together. Kaoru even refers to them as "Misao and her companion." In those times in Japan, 'companion' literally meant like a husband. So if Misao's not married to the guy, Aoshi's at LEAST admitted his feelings for her. Now. For the Soujiro-sama part... there's a REASON Watsuki didn't give him a romantic interest in the series, have you realized that? Soujiro-sama is created as a loner character, from start to finish. If you remember in the anime, (not the manga, unfortunately) Kenshin mentions how different Soujiro may have turned out if in all his life, he'd had one person to shed tears for him... Later, Soujiro leaves on his own as a wanderer, to start off on a new life ON HIS OWN. There's a certain significance in that, people. Watsuki even wrote in Soujiro's CHARACTER NOTES that he was created to be alone and learn to work through his life on his own, after living in full confidence of Shishio-san for so many years. NOW. Let's consider this last and important fact: SOUJIRO-SAMA AND MISAO HAVE NEVER EVEN MET. They've SEEN each other in Shingetsu (well, Misao saw Soujiro, at least) during Soujiro-sama's first fight with Kenshin, but if you consider that after the Kyoto arc tight schedule for events and times, Soujiro-sama leaves for 10 years of wandering STILL without even knowing Misao's NAME. Do you get it yet, people? THIS PAIRING HAS ZERO CHANCE OF WORKING OUT! ZERO! (And please don't try to change my mind. I'm not being selfish, I'm being analytical. There's a difference.)

And, last but not least...

gay pairings. I know I've said mixed things in the past, but... I admit SOME of them are reasonable, and some even quite good. But, on a general note... I can't stand pairings like this... probably the only exception to this is if characters are KNOWN for being gay, as is Kamatari-san, for example. (Kamatari x Chou is still the only Kamatari pairing I like... I dunno why... it's just cute. n_n)

OOH! One more pairing I hate! Anything random that the author makes up to try to be funny. These aren't funny so much as they are stupid. I mean seriously, people. I've seen Sano x awire fence before... O_oU

Favorite Quotes!

A lot of random lines from me and my friends... n_n""

“Lunkhead, lunkhead… HAHAHAHAHA!” –Ed, Cowboy Bebop (about Spike)

“Man, I hate Theme Parks.” –Spike, Cowboy Bebop.

“So… Carbon will also be present on faraway planets, like Mars, or Venice.” –My dad. (I think he meant Venus, but…)

“This looks like toxic waste. And it SMELLS like toxic waste. (“What’s it taste like?”) DELICIOUS FIG PUDDING! …But with a distinct aftertaste of toxic waste.” –Futurama.

“Makimachi Misao… need give her name to no villain!” –Misao, Volume 9 of Rurouni Kenshin.

“In this world where devils swarm, washing blood with blood… is it not suitable to call it Hell?” –Shishio, Volume 11, I think, of Rurouni Kenshin.

“Sojiro, Usui, and Anji will stay here to fight the Battousai! I’m going out for a cappuccino!” –Shishio in the Faces of Evil outtakes… this is the one that started the Shishio on caffeine tradition… ah, originality…

“Now I have to work as hard as a Ten-Vac!” –Sojiro, outtakes of Innocence and Experience, Rurouni Kenshin. (And one of the best DVD’s ever, if I do say so myself. Which I’m not, because I’m typing, but…)

“This is my favorite sword, the famous…. Ohhhh…” –Chou in outtakes of his fight with Kenshin (I forget which DVD) showing off his whip sword.

“ Kyoto… I’ve wandered all over Japan the ten years since the revolution. But in all those years I never thought that I would return to this place. During the chaos of the revolution there wasn’t a single day that buildings weren’t burning. The battlefield was a portrait of Hell. And that Hell… (a picture of angry Misao pops up) …was her.” –Kenshin on one of the DVD outtakes… I laughed so hard, I was like, OK, WTF…

“We’ll do as Himura wishes, right now we desperately need his assistance above all else, I slurred and slipped and slopped.” –Okubo in the Shadow of the Wolf outtakes.

“I don’t expect an answer immediately, Himura. Please, think about it seriously. Not only for my sake, but because my pants are so tight.” –Okubo in the Shadow of the Wolf outtakes.

“When this country finally makes the transition into a real nation state, the restoration will finally be complete. This is my firm belief… uh, Dave.” –Okubo again… his outtakes are almost as funny as Shishio-sama's! n_n

Speaking of which… n_n “That’s like you. Very practical. I wanna do that, Morton.” –Shishio outtake… Crispy: ... -_-U

“Ama Kakeru, DOO neroodingalalaflingybaaa.” –Hiko outtake…

“Is that the only… Fshigga Heining?” –Another Hiko one… -_-

“I can recall a battle during the Revolution where the shogun Yoshinobu Tokugawa abandoned his allies and retreated from Osaka to Edo by boat… and stuff.” –Kenshin outtake in Faces of Evil.

“Don’t ever forget this, Yumi: Our only goal is dadebabaaaa…” –Houji… kinda figures, ne? n_n

“In a sword fight, having two swords isn’t necessarily more Ablablablazebinabanabanananous!” –Kenshin… no comment… n_n

“How’j you like… the soup…?” –Sano outtake.

“Until those five children follow the inevitable ring of reincarnation and are finally born into this world again— HOLY MOLY!” –Anji outtake

“Finally, I’ll shut up those blubbering, worthless weenies.” –Shishio outtake.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW! The Guren-Kaina! He had gunpowder stashed away inside his gauntlet and ignited it with his Homuranabanabana.” –Houji outtake…

“In other words, Usui, despite his grudge, has proved himself highly nutritious to me after all… and delicious.” –Shishio outtake… he sure has a lot, de gozaru! n_n

“ (high squeaky voice) LET’S GO-O-O-O!” –Shishio outtake… one of my favorites… lol.

“(To Chou) How much hair mousse do you use?” –Kenshin outtake.

“So he’s the man who taught Kenshin shwimidigaa…” –Yahiko outtake (about Hiko)

“GASP! That is not even FUNNY, Usui! I, uh… CRAP, I forgot...” –One of Crispy-san’s outtakes for one of the demented animations she made…

“CRASH! OH, NO,I just crashed intooooo…. somebody… I dunno, holy crap...” –Another of Crispy’s demented outtakes…

“Payback is just revenge for those who… had… something bad done to them…?” –Crispy’s third outtake…

“What saved me that day… was the truth… that Mr. Shishio taught me… and a single wakizashi!” –Sojiro, Innocence and Experience

“There is no true good or evil in this world. All who are good view the others as wrong, and the others view one another as evil in their own respect. Allow me to rephrase: The only true evil in this world… is me.” –Me, feeling particularly philosophical.

“I’ve been 80 since 2nd grade!” –My friend Erin, referring to how she’s been on bus 80 since 2nd grade…

“Don’t worry! As long as you have Death, nothing can go wrong!” – Erin’s little brother on the way to the bus stop, in reference to the Death the Penguin plushie she had… Death the Penguin is COOL! n_n

“OMG, Erin, if you don’t stop talking about Death, I’m gonna die!” –Me, when I was almost peeing myself from all the Death the Penguin jokes.

“‘ Bagel?’ he asked, with a strange business suit in his eye.” –Very bad typo I made while writing a choose your own adventure style story… This is the one that explains Kenshin’s passion for bagels… It’s not on Fanfiction, though, they don’t allow the format… meanies…

“OMG! A HUGE TURKEY!” –Julia, in the computer lab.

“There’s no ‘AAAAAAAOOOOOOOOHHH?’” –Connie, when she heard that at the end of a ‘Freckles’ midi, there was no ending.

“I must go splat… SPLAT.” –Beth.

“Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.” –?

“Hmmn… I’m thinking about getting a dark color. Like yellow.” –Connie, going scarf shopping.

“IT’S THAT SEAL! It won’t leave me ALONE!” –Ashley, quoting a dream she had. (while rabidly twitching)

“We know him… he has hair…” –Ashley trying to jog her memory and remember Hunter’s name.

“That hair is a threat to mankind.” –Me, about Chou.

“OOOOOHHH…. Fireeee…….” –8-year-old Crispy-san, playing ‘How Close Can I Get my Hair to the Candle Before it Bursts Into Flames.’ Long story short: …I learned... o_O

“My arm… it’s being ABSORBED!” –Muso, on Inuyasha. (It was 5:30 AM, and I was spacing out. Somehow this line came through, and I’m just like, ‘OK, WTF…’

“Oro!” –...

“Squidward, you’re steaming! You’re like a steamed vegetable, only smarter!” –Spongebob. (One knows the feeling…)

“Why, of COURSE it is, Spongebob! I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me wumbo, wumbos, wumboing, WUMBOLOGY! The study of WUMBO? It’s first grade, Spongebob!” –Patrick on Spongebob

“I’M DROWNING FOOTWEAR!” –Meredith

“And, just as escape for Arthur and his Knights seemed hopeless, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. The cartoon peril… was no more.” –Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

“Once I teach you this, the final technique of the Hiten Mitsurugi, you will finally stand equally to me in power! ...Well, maybe not quite equally. Around my ankles, maybe. …But don’t let that make you overconfident!” –Hiko Seijuro, volume 11 of Rurouni Kenshin, talking to Himura Kenshin. (“Baka Denshii!”) n_n

“Hey, y’know, Usui would be really good at Hide and Seek.” –Me, off thinking on a random tangent again, as usual…

And one of the weirdest:
Me: Michael Jackson is creepy.

Beth: He’s a molester, he has those freaky black gloves… (shudder)

Me: HEY! Shishio-san has black gloves!

Connie: Maybe he’s a child molester…

Beth: There aren’t that many children at the Shrine of the Six Arches... Unless you mean—

Me: NO! You couldn’t mean… (twitch twitch) SOUJIRO-SAMA?

Connie: Maybe that’s why he’s always smiling…

Me: And why Kamatari is always jealous of him and Yumi…

Beth: And why he’s called “Shishio’s right hand guy…”

Connie: And why he got so mad at Kenshin for coming to kill Shishio…

(Note: All ‘ew’s, ‘ick’s, etc. removed… there were a lot… for obvious reasons…)

“ WHAT? I LOST! To a COFFEE CLEAVER…?” –Something I thought Julia said once… we’ve been trying to figure out what exactly a Coffee Cleaver is ever since…

“Dear Joz! You die, Tom!” This one needs to be explained… My school started up a “Dear Josie” advice column in the school newspaper, and everyone in my study period was making fun of it, writing letters like, “Dear Jose, I’m a mass murderer” and stuff like that. Julia wrote one that said, “Dear Jozzzeeee, You die tomorrow.” But it got torn in half somewhere along the road. So… when it was published…

“A pirate, with an eyepatch: ‘ARR, I’m a pirate!’ A regular guy with an eyepatch: ‘ARR, I’m not a pirate!’” –Spongebob

“I am very sad.” –‘Forehead Shavecut,’ one of the funniest ever flash things on Albinoblacksheep.com… It’s one of those “You have to see it to get it” things…

“Eduardo, stop dumping your toxins in the river…” –Julia sleeptalking… lol, we don’t even know anyone named Eduardo…

“…NO…! Not… the bleach…!” –Supposedly me sleeptalking… Perhaps Crispy was being tormented by the Ruroken characters she mocks, in her dreams…

“We have… Vaginal Disease.” –A group of GUYS in my Health class… we were discussing STD’s and STI’s, and a group of 4 guys got ‘Vaginal Disease…’

“It’s a liger. It’s probably my favorite animal. It’s a cross between a lion and a tiger, it’s bred for its Magic points and Defense.” –Napoleon Dynamite. (LIGERS RULE! By the way, ligers actually exist. O_o)

“I caught you a delicious Bass.” –Napoleon Dynamite.

“Tina! Come get some ham!” –Napoleon Dynamite.

“Pedro offers you his protection.” –Napoleon Dynamite.

“She doesn’t want you here when she gets back, because you’ve been ruining our lives, and eating all our STEAK!” –Napoleon Dynamite.

“May I offer you a chair?’ “Certainly! May I offer you a fish?” –Fairly Odd Parents.

“Mom opened the door and this totally disgusting ornate tapestry emerged!” –Beth’s typo on her horror story

“She and Jerry were not the king!” –Beth’s typo on her genealogy self chapter

“I was totally scared out…” –Crispy-san surfing the internet randomly.

“Ooh-some!” -Connie

“And so passes another moment in the legend of Spike. Famous bounty hunter and dog-walker.” –Spike in Cowboy Bebop.

“You said this was bell peppers and beef. There’s no beef.” –Spike again… lol, he’s awesome because him and Shishio-san have the same voice actor…

“I-i-i-i-i-i-it’s…. RACIST FOUR-SQUARE!” –Hunter.

“Oh, my dear, sweet Lucifer…!” –Marty.

(During Crispy’s school play) Connie: But, Captain, there’s another ship moored off the shore! Connor: Well, then we’ll just have to investigate! Connie: But I didn’t finish my line, Captain! Connor: Oh… well, carry on, Maude! n_nU

(During another of Crispy’s school plays) Hunter: Genie of the Jewels… thank you for everything… which wasn’t much…

(During the same play) Crispy: “A lamp that has never been lit, has some use, I admit; soon you’ll be free, soon you will see—GENIE OF THE LAMP, APPEAR BEFORE ME! I, JAFAR, COMMAND IT! … CRAP, my friggin’ TURBAN fell off…!” Crispy was getting waaaay too into it… The evil sorcerer role was too much for her “gentle heart…” -_-U

“ SHE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT! (“A newt…?”) Well… I got better…” n_n”” –Monty Python & the Holy Grail.

“SUMERIAN SUICIDE SQUAD… ATTACK!” (They all stab themselves) –Monty Python: The Life of Brian.

“To whom dost this fancy leg belong?” –My sister’s infamous “Fake Shakespeare Quote…” -_-U

“(During football in PE) random clueless preppy girl: Hey, they just kicked off to us, and I caught it... what should I do...? Random football player guy: Well... (about 10 seconds pass) Usually, you run with it... and it might be advisable to do so... right about... NOW. /random clueless preppy girl gets swamped and knocked downby advancing defenders/"

"If my phone could kick you, it would." -Ashley

"Y'know, I only get like that if I drink a buncha soda, and eat a buncha chocolate and get all wooooooooooooozy, and start saying stuff like, "Yeah... how's it goin', Jeffrey...?" -Ashley more than a little caffeinated... O_oU

"You actually want me to talkto this company CEO's head I chopped off and duct-taped to my ceiling? I'm not gonnatalkto it, people'll think I'm INSANE!" -Connie (I...love...this...quote...)

"THE PIGGY HEADS ARE CALLING TO ME!"SMASH ME! SMASH ME!", THEY SAY!" -Crispy talking about how she always levels on Piggy Beach in Maple Story... o_OU

"OOH! Free piggy head!" -Crispy playing MS and finding a buncha free piggy heads (which sell for pretty good cash) lying around... O_oU

"Spiffy! This makes great piggy bashing music!" -Crispy, about Dragostea Din Tei, AKA the Maiyahi song, the Numa numa song, etc... (I LOVE THAT SONG! XD)

"(very twitchily) OK! I just have to find the coffin, open it, steal the body, and keep it under my mattress to prove he's REALLY DEAD! THAT'LL show I'm not insane!" -Leela on Futurama

"OK, listen up everybody, 'cause I got a climactic speech to make!" -Bender from Futurama... I LOVE THAT SHOW! XD

"Hey, would a RETARDED guy hire a drunk driver in a bulldozer to level half his house in commemoration of his intellectual achievement...? (...Possibly...) Uh-oh... /wall bursts open/ (Drunk driver: Congraaaaaaaatulaaaations! /falls out of truck facedown/)" -One of Crispy's favorite episodes of Family Guy of all time... n_n

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RECENT UPDATES:

Saturaday, September 24, 2005: Updated profile, started up next chapter for Demented Randomness. New Wizard of Oro chapter about half done... nothing on Outtakes yet...

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INSPIRATIONAL SAPPY QUOTE OF THE WHENEVER: "No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one that is won't make you cry." The quote will be updated when next I profile edit... O_oU Could be awhile... n_n

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Well, cya people! If you need to contact me or just need an extra address to put in the forwards box so you're not cursed for life, here's some stuff about how to contact Sessha for whatever reasons...

email: Burntupoldsausage@yahoo.com (original, yes I know... n_n)

Fanart-central.com: Burnt_Up_Old_Sausage

Neopets: (I haven't been on here in at least a year, but if you want to read the Kenshin Bagel Obsession story, it's on here as the Neo-Adventure or whatever they're called, mine is 'SHISHIO VS. KENSHIN'. My username is 'shishio_sama16'.

...so yeah, that's about it... /bows/ thank you for not killing me for never updating... /Matsurika voice/ For I will keep returning to life... again... and again... until the end of time... n_n

And now... for some sleep... n_n

Oyasumi nasai!

-Crispy the Hanran