My Writing Tips (and pet peeves): (This will be updated whenever I see something suitable to rant about) Mostly pertaining to HP Fics

Speech: If it sounds stupid when you say it aloud, then take for granted that it's stupid. Having characters share their most sordid secrets in a detatched monosyllabic way just so you can move your fic on a little quicker is annoying. Just take the time for a little decent retrospection. Hint: Characters don't just have to speak they can think too! I would also like to point out that children don't actually talk in baby-speech. It drives me mad when I read a fic that is either set when their young (4-5) or in a flash back and all the children have speech impediments. Have you never met a 4 year old? Stop trying to make it cute and just be realistic. Oh and to that effect... a five year old is not going to be having a philosophical conversation.

Summaries: If your summary sucks I will not read your story. For example; spelling mistakes. If you can not spell 30 words correctly then there is no way on Earth I am entrusting that you can for the whole story. Similarly, I won't read stories that use text speak in their summaries. On another note, I don't like summaries that don't really tell you anything. Such as "Sequel to my first fic"... okay, so what's it about? And really, saying "HP/GW HG/RW AD/MM NO SLASH!" is a little redundant, if Harry is with a girl then I'm kinda already guessing he's not going to pop in a broom closet for a quick snog with Snape. Finally, self-depreciation is not endearing, if you say that it's "just another" time travel fic, I won't read it. Which leads me to saying that if your summary reads "first fic plz no flames" people will flame you, it's basic reverse psychology.

Fun in Flaming: Now, before you PM me to complain about how harsh I am. I will tell you now, I don't flame. I usually make it a point to at least try and find something decent about a story but I will also list each and every percievable flaw. If I end up just listing a bunch of mistakes, well, your story must really suck.

Hi, I'm the sexy, catholic, emo, junkie, depressed, bisexual, cool Boy-Who-Lived: Now these are a true pet-hatred of mine. If you're gonna change Harry's personality drastically over the summer give me a reason. I don't mind OOC Harry really, sometimes it can be somewhat refreshing but only when there is background, whether it be totally different from cannon or not, if it is explained I can deal with it.

Time: Harry is a 80's kid, treat him as such, he does not listen to nightwish and wear current fashion trends. I am so tired of this. It just throws the story off when I sit there reading a story and all of a sudden he's listening to an I-Pod and wearing converse. Do your research people!

Ginny: I know she's cannon, she still irritates me. I suppose because it was so blatantly obvious from book one (the cute shy girl that plays her part in helping him find hogwarts... yuck) but also because the reasons were so badly laid out. We heard nothing after CoS (Where he plays prince in shining-blood-soaked armor) and then bang he likes her? They have no real interaction and yet they're so 'in love'. Personally I had almost believed for a moment that he would end up with Luna, I mean, two mis-understood souls, both only childs, both bullied. She consolodates him on Sirius etc. I really believed JKR was laying the ground work for HPLL. I had also though that Harry had been given love potion by Ginny because it was so sudden, to have no reasoning behind them just left me kind of going 'huh?' So while you have the excuse of “canon” I’d appreciate you trying to lay some background, even when JKR did not.

Pace: Pace is important. I KNOW you want to get onto the “main” bit of the story but when you shove several years of background into one short chapter with no reasons then I get annoyed. Fanfic is mostly about either altering or expanding on a previous idea, to do this you have to have background, for a decent background you have to have a good pace so slow down damnit!

Language: I am by no means bilingual. I am under no illusions that I would have a hope in hell of trying to translate something into English with great effect. However, I am also aware I am not alone in this. Very few people speak Silmaillion or any other elvish language fluently and those who use it in their fics typically only do so by looking it up o the net to add "authenticity" to their story. It doesn't work. It just makes it annoying as usually the translations are at the bottom of the text, so I have to scroll all the way to the bottom to understand what is being said and then try find my place. There are very few times where this is a good plot device and it's never good throughout the plot, to represent a cultural barrier, yes, to represent the characters confusion, yes, to make you feel smart, bite me. There has also been a growing use of foreign language (most often Latin) in author notes to insult flamers, again the author doesn't speak Latin, it just makes them feel superior when they actually sound pretentious and the language is to formal anyway so they sound stupid once you understand what the insult is. Please, just tell the flamers to fk off if you honestly have to reply at all.