I am Illyria. For those of you who want to know more, here you go:

Illyria is all you need to know.

Then came the Internet.

(smirk)

My partner-in-crime is, of course, Lynxgoddess.

If you haven't seen Buffy or Angel, you are seriously deprived.

All stories are courtesy of the Magical Writing Pen of the Gods. By the way, it's green. Think Slytherin green.

Funny moments and quotes between myself and Lynxgoddess:

-Illyria13:(In a discussion between Lynxgoddess and myself on becoming serial killers):"We could go down in history books. Now I'm tempted..."

-Illyria13: "How did this happen? I wrote a novel that had absolutely nothing to do with this and now we're porn stars? How could they do this?!!!"

Lynxgoddess: "That's it. That's exactly what happened. You wrote a novel and got on their radar and now we're stuck here. Nice job."-Us in a dream I had about sex slaves. It was disturbing. That's all I have to say.

-Illyria13: "I think God is trying to tell you something there. Listen to the clues and go find a fucking cliff to jump off of!" (After watching some idiot on the television.)

-Illyria13: "I don't need my shit burning! I am a stuff person." (Upon talking about a fire in our dorm room and the idea of throwing shit out of the window to save it. It's the beginning of the 'stuff people'.)

-Illyria13: "There comes a point in every stuff person's life when they must get rid of stuff and make way for shiny, new stuff." (After running out of space on my bookshelf for my TV/DVD collection)

-Writer friend Lynxgoddess: "Hey, can you make me a little writer-monkey origami-thing?" (upon giving me the gift of a beginner's origami set)

-Lynxgoddess: (on growing long nails) "You start off with ten. You break one, you still have nine others, but you end up cutting them all anyways. It's like one dead baby. You have to kill them all to be fair."

-Illyria13: "Nananana. You have to yield to me, Bitches!"

Lynxgoddess: "Wow. 19 years old and got a permit, finally learning how to drive. Glad to see you're mature in this situation." (Me driving on the Interstate, laughing at the line of cars waiting to get on)

-Illyria13: "Wait, what does that truck say? Orleans Shoring? Oh, I thought it said 'horing', and I thought, 'wow, New Orleans coined the term Whore and they can't even spell it right!'" (sitting at a busy traffic light)

-Lynxgoddess: "That child in the cart is staring at you."

Illyria13: "I know. I was staring back, hoping to scare him. Maybe get him to cry!"

Lynxgoddess: "He's eating Funyons. You're not going to make him cry." -In Wal-mart trying to buy a screwdiver to fix the goddamn vacuum cleaner!

-Lynxgoddess: "What the hell was that?! And to answer my own damn question, it was a fucking cupcake." -walking out of the dorm, tripping over food.

-Lynxgoddess: "You know what I hate about this situation?"

Illyria13: "Me not having any money?" -At the Sonic Drive-In, she's buying my food because I'm broke.

-Lynxgoddess: "I may not be able to taste the vodka, but I can feel the vodka!" -On the wonders of homemade hard lemonade

-Lynxgoddess: "You're just a paradigm of humanity."

Illyria13: "I'm a fucking ray of sunshine. A glowing ball of light. An orb of joy."

Lynxgoddess: "Is that your Halloweeen costume this year?" -Waiting in the fast-food line of Raising Cane's

-Lynxgoddess: "Listen to the sound of carbination. I can hear the ocean." -Holding her Sprite up to her ears like a seashell at, again, Sonic Drive-In. What can I say? We're witty when we're there.

-Lynxgoddess: "Evil clackedy-nails of computer shut downiness!" -Muttering at me after I caused a blue screen error on her laptop.

-Illyria13: "Why aren't we doing this for a living? We could be getting paid. Paid! We could write Twilight!" -Me, the double major of Psychology and Math and Lynxgoddess, the double major of Chemistry and Math, lamenting our career choices and why we aren't English majors.

-Lynxgoddess: "SPF 30? Don't they have 50? We're pretty damn pale!" -In Target, getting sunscreen for our walking class.

-Illyria13: "So, people actually write fanfiction in the fandom of Shakespeare? Don't you do enough of that in school? Why would you write that in your spare time?"

Lynxgoddess: "There's fanfiction for the Bible."

Illyria13: "I think I knew that. But what could you possibly write? Wait, isn't that blasphemy?!"

Lynxgoddess: "What are you going to do, take out a whole book? Rewrite a story? Give new meanings to the parables? I know! I want to rewrite the ending! Although technically it hasn't ended yet." -Marveling over the random categories on FF.net

-Lynxgoddess: "My childhood called. It wants its' speech impediment back." -After stumbling over her words and mixing them up rather humorously

-Upon reading a rather tragically stupid summary for a Twilight/Vampire Diaries fic, the end of which was: "What awaits her there?" (referring to Bella):

Illyria13: "Hopefully, a better plotline."

-Lynxgoddess: "I'd rather be a not-favorite than a favorite...I say from my cushy position as the favorite." -During a discussion at dinner, Lynxgoddess pointed out the unfairness of favoritism by parents.

-"My dog, my truck, my whiskey all drunk up." -Country music summed up in less than ten words.

- Illyria13: "Look! I'm literatured!"

Lynxgoddess: "And then you just ruined it." -After recognizing an Allen Ginsberg quote in an episode of White Collar

-(Staring quizzically at their first attempt at boxed wine) Illyria13: "Look! There's instructions on the bottom!"

Lynxgoddess: (slams the box down on the counter, fully assembled) "Instructions are for men." -Best moment ever. Seriously.

-Illyria13: "What happened to the pool of creativity? I know! We drank it, and now, we thirst." -Upon reading some truly dumb summaries for stories

-"Her skeleton will lie in the chamber of Secrets forever." (pause) Lynxgoddess: "Let's talk about your need for capitalization." -HP movie marathon

-Lynxgoddess: "It's like...it's like...I don't even know, but it's like!" On Celebrity baby names-Blue Ivy for example

-Lynxgoddess: " 'The Lord Jesus is in the house.' I hope not. I'm not dressed yet." -Making fun of the movie Saved!

-Lynxgoddess: "Never let teaching be a fallback. It has to be a calling...like a nun or a priest." -Ruminating on career choices

-Illyria13: "Are you turning into an alcoholic on me?"

Lynxgoddess: "Turning into?"

Illyria13: "Ok, you were a functioning alcoholic. Are you turning into a lush on me?"

Lynxgoddess: "Depends. How long is it 'til the end of the semester?" -Watching her drink straight out of the $23 bottle of Strawberry Tequila

After receiving a phone call from both parents on the same night, Illyria13 started drinking. Lynxgoddess joined in. Here are their witticisms from that night:

-Lynxgoddess:"I knew we'd grow-up someday. I just wasn't sure it was to be alcoholics."

-Lynxgoddess: "Parents-first they drive you around, then they teach you to drive, and then they drive you to drink."

-Illyria13: "I thought getting older meant outgrowing the toddler phase."

Lynxgoddess: "No; you get older and it's called having an opinion."

-Lynxgoddess:"Parents are additive, but their effects on their children, and their children's alcohol consumption, is exponential at least. On bad days, maybe logarithmic."

-(Illyria13 stumbles in the dark, running into the door and the wall and a table) Lynxgoddess: "What the f* are you doing over there? If you are trying to impersonate Nightcrawler, you cannot crawl on the ceiling, no matter how good you are."

Quotes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Angel:

-Mayor:"Murderous little fiend! Did you see what she did to my Faith?!"

Angel: "Hadn't made plans to weep over that one."

Mayor: "Well, I'd get set for some weeping if I were you. I'd get set for a world of pain. Misery loves company...and I'm looking to share that with you and your whore!" -Graduation Day, Part 2; BTVS, Season 3

-Buffy: "Do you know what a Hellmouth is? Do you have some fancy term for it? Because I went to high school on it...for three years. We do not have that much in common. This is just a job to you."

Riley: "It's not just a job-,"

Buffy: "It's an adventure, great. But for me, it's destiny. It is something that I can't change...something that I can't escape. I'm stuck." -BTVS, Doomed, s4

-as Angel "Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away." -Spike, Angel the series, In the Dark

-"Lesson the second: Ask the right questions. You wanna know how I beat 'em? The question isn't how'd I win. The question is, why'd they lose?" -Spike, BTVS, Fool For Love

-Spike: "We just keep coming. But you can kill a hundred, a thousand, a thousand thousand and the armies of Hell besides, and all we need... is for one of us, just one, sooner or later, to have the thing we're all hoping for."
Buffy: "And that would be what?"
Spike: "One good day." - BTVS, Fool For Love

-Tara: "I am, you know."

Willow: "What?"

Tara: "Yours." -BTVS Season 4

-Anya: "We're just kinda thrown by the you having sex with Spike."

Buffy: "The who whating how with huh?"

Anya: "Okay, that's denial. It usually comes before anger."

Buffy: "I am not having sex with Spike!"

Anya: "Anger."

Xander: "No one is judging you. It's understandable. Spike is strong and mysterious and sort of compact, but well-muscled."

Buffy:" I am not having sex with Spike, but I'm starting to think that you might be." -BtVS, "Intervention", Season 5

-"See, Lindsey, during my stint as Wolfram & Hart's puppet, something occured to me: I loathe being used. If I recall, I sent a 15 body memo to that effect."-Darla, Redefinition

-"You didn't shoot to kill. I'm gonna have to up the stakes. Get you in the game a little."-Faith, "Five By Five"

-"I have a problem. I don't feel Angel's in the game. But somehow, I think you two are the key. Now what can I do that will really make him hate me? Hmm..."-Faith, Five By Five

-"Angel's got a kid. And Cordelia spent her last summer as...a divine being? Now you've unleashed Angelus to help you stop this demon that put the lights out. Can I just ask...what the Hell are you people doing?"-Faith, Salvage

-"I get it. You're a super-being. Are you a murderer? 'Cause I am. And if it came down to you or Angelus, you haven't shown me a thing to make me want to take your side."-Faith, Salvage

-"You know what the definition of insanity is, baby? Performing the same task over and over and expecting different results. Learned that in murder rehab."-Faith, Orpheus

-"Then I'm...whatever. Dust in the wind. Candle in the wind. There'll be a general wind theme."-Faith, Orpheus

-"Break me off a switch, son. 'Cause there's about to be a whoopin'."-Faith, Orpheus

-"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it. " -Spike, BTVS, Lover's Walk

-Angel: I know. I saw her. I'm not crazy.

Wesley: Where?

Angel: Right between the clowns and the big talking hot dog.

-Episode 'Dear Boy'

-"You see? No matter how good a boy you are, God doesn't want you. But I still do." -Darla, 'Dear Boy'

-"Whoo! Whoo! My God. They told me it was true but I didn't believe them. Damn. Here it is. Evil white folks really do have a mecca. (yells loudly) Ow! Did you just step on my foot? Was that my foot you just stepped on? Are you assaultin' me up in this haven of justice? Somebody get me a lawyer, 'cause my civil rights have seriously been violated. (nobody moves) Oh, I get it. I get it. Y'all can cater to the demon, cater to the dead man, but what about the black man?" -Gunn, 'Blind Date'

TV Quotes:

-"There are no secrets in life. Just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface."-Dexter Morgan, TV series Dexter

- Annie's murderous fiance: "Here's the thing that they never tell you: to kill someone and get away with it, means you're bulletproof. You're a God. ...

Ghost Annie: "Here's the question you haven't asked yourself yet: If I exist, what else does? You think you're the Big Bad Wolf, you should see George on a full moon. You think you're a cold-blooded murderer? Mitchell was killing 80 years before you were even born. Don't you get it yet? I'm just the tip of the iceberg. I'm good cop. Look at you, so pleased with your grubby little murder. Fact is, when it comes to pure, naked evil, you're an amateur. I want you to know you've wandered off the path. This is where the wild things are. And we've got your scent now. We can find you at the edge of the Earth and create unimaginable torture. And now I'm going to tell you the very worst thing in the world, something only the dead know. (whispers something in his ear)

My advice to you? Find a safe place, with locks and bad dogs, and never, ever turn out the light." -Being Human s1, ep 5 (BBC version)

-"The only thing this little-shop-of-horrors doesn't do is eat people. Poisonous petals that shoot up to twenty feet...toxin infects the blood stream and paralyzes the victim by stopping the heart in an average of sixty seconds…airborne pollen that clogs your airways until you suffocate…" Rodney shook his head slowly. "It's the perfect flower for Cadman, actually…"

SGA Fanfiction story 'Hours' by Nika Dixon

-"Um… Captain?" John stared at the sight in front of them. "You, ah, wouldn't happen to know why there is a slightly-overweight, very muddy, extremely naked, white man throwing rocks at my jumper?"

SGA Fanfiction story 'Nine Months' by Nika Dixon

-O’Neil: "Let me ask you something. Why did you become a pilot?"

Sheppard: "I think people who don’t wanna fly are crazy."

O’Neil: "And I think people who don’t want to go through the Stargate are equally as wacked." -Stargate: Atlantis ep 1 Rising

- O'Neil: "You read the Bible, Teal'c?"

Teal'c: "It is a significant part of your Western culture. Have you not read the Bible, O'Neil?"

O'Neil: "Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not all of it. Actually, I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends."

Stargate: SG-1, season 3, episode 8 'Demons'

-Major Davis: "With all due respect, Mr. Ambassador, we feel that coming forward now will only result in widespread panic."

French Ambassador: "As opposed to the panic that will result when alien troops begin marching through our streets?" - SG-1, season 6

-O'Neill: "It's time for plan B."

Carter: "We have a plan B?"

O'Neill: "Nope. But it's time for one." - SG-1 Morpheus

-House: "Are you going to base your whole life on who you got stuck in a room with?"

Eve: "I'm going to base this moment on who I'm stuck in a room with. It's what life is. It's a series of rooms and who we get stuck in those rooms with adds up to what our lives are."

“One Day, One Room” S3 House, M.D.

-Derek Shepherd: "So who's next? Alex? He likes to sleep around...you two have that in common."

Meredith Grey: "You don't get to call me a whore! When I met you, I thought I had met the person I would spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys, all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues...who cared? Because I was done. You left me! You chose Addison! I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore!" -Grey's Anatomy, Season two 'Damage Case'

-Meredith: "You want the ugly truth?"

Alex: "Wait, you have an ugly truth? I never would have picked you to have an ugly truth." -Grey's Anatomy, s2 ep 3 "Make Me Lose Control"

-Callie: "You can't pray away the gay!" -Grey's Anatomy season 6

-"I love these little cliques. They're like the Mafia. Nobody knows nothing."-Stabler, Law and Order: SVU Mean

Stabler: "Well, whatever person you choose...should be your choice. And my guess is, when you're ready to see someone that way...you will. It'll mean something to you, and it'll come from you. And it won't be about what was done to you.

Evan: "And it won't be my fault?"

Stabler: "Fault? It's supposed to be about love." -Law and Order: SVU Nocturne

-"I was interviewing a psychopath and I missed him calculating how much time there was to kill me before the guards hit the door." Huang, Law & Order: SVU s3, ep2 Wrath

-"As it stands now, all we've got is he-said, she-said, he's dead." -Cragen, Law & Order:SVU s3 Tangled

-Brenda: "Who gave you the right to play God?"

Dr. Navarro: "The position was vacant. So I took it." -The Closer, s6 ep 5. Heart Attack

-"Veronica Agnes Flanagan Callahan? You can't actually get more Irish than that without being a leprechaun." -Veronica, Mercy

-"And when in doubt, just split his head open. It's like 'D' on multiple choice." -Milo Ventimiglia on episode commentary, watching Sylar, "A Clear and Present Danger" Heroes season 3

Lana: "You can do anything...and all you've done is hide out on some farm." -Smallville, s7, ep. "Wrath"

-Shawn:"Dad, someone's in the house."

Gus: "Oh my God! Let's call the cops. We should call the cops."

(upon seeing Dad walk over to birdhouse and pull something out) Shawn: "You keep a stungun in the birdhouse? What's under the garden gnome, an M-80?" -Psych, season 3

-"And so now, on behalf of the entire suit of broken hearts, Alice will now lop off the Queen's head." -Psych, season 1 ep 15, 'Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast'

-Lassiter wasn't a marshmallow inside...he was marshmallow goo...goo that had been set on fire, burnt to a blackened crust, then rolled in cactus needles and poison ivy. -Psych Fanfiction story 'Parting Shot' by Ghost4

-"Just breathe, Casey, breathe. Breathe. Or growl. Growling also works. Very good. Very, very good." -Chuck, Chuck season 1

-Sheldon: "You know, it's amazing how many super villains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should probably do a better job at screening those people out." -Big Bang Theory

-Sheldon: "You thought the opposite of 'stupid loser' was 'community college graduate'?" -Big Bang Theory

-Penny: "Look, why is it so hard for you to keep one little secret?"

Sheldon: "I'm constitutionally incapable. That's why I was refused clearance for a very prestigious government research fellowship at a secret military supercollider located beneath a fake agricultural station 12.5 miles southeast of Traverse City, Michigan. -pause- Which you did not hear about from me." -Big Bang Theory

-Diplomat: "Do you believe these threats are genuine?"

Mack: "I believe all threats are genuine. That's why I'm still here." -The Unit

-Carlito: "Everyone's entitled to one meltdown a year." -The Unit

-Bureaucrat:"Get your man out of there!"

Col. Ryan: "We lost radio contact."

Bureaucrat: "How is that possible?"

Col. Ryan: "I told him to shoot the radio.' -The Unit

-Friend of Jonas: "Revenge is a dangerous thing, my friend. And I will not send my men to die for another man's anger." -The Unit

-Jonas: "One man. I'm not gonna tell your wife I've lost another."

Bob: "You want me to tell your wife? Your wife's tougher than my wife." -The Unit

-"Chaos theory. Butterfly flaps its wings in China, stock market crashes in New York. Lady wakes up five minutes late for work. She misses her regular train, catches the next one. Sees her lover kissing another lady. Distraught, she throws herself onto the tracks." -Bob, The Unit s4, ep 'Chaos Theory'

-Larry: "You know, time was we settled our differences with fists, not automatic weaponry." -Numb3rs, Dark Matter

-"You don't know what it means to be free until you're not." -Numb3rs Season 6 ep.

-‘’You know, a week ago you were all strangers, and then the same thing happened to all of you. You got that envelope, you know the one; comes in the mail and says ‘CountyofLos Angeles’ on the top, and you open it like this, “Oh God”. A week passes, you watch the witnesses parade through. You listen to the lawyers argue. And suddenly, you’re not strangers anymore. Some of you have even made friends. It’s not as bad as you thought, right? But then the judge asks you to deliberate, and then you have a moment of doubt. I’m not a doctor, I’m not a scientist; how can I tell if Ernesto Vargas died from using Fast Life? How can I be sure? But that envelope entrusted you with the most important obligation of citizenship. And that is to find the truth. It’s so important that we dare not give it to one person, but to 12 strangers. Now all I ask is that you go into that room and you work together and you find the truth. I have faith that you’ll reach a just decision.” -Leverage, Hardison’s closing arguments, “The Juror #6 Job”

-Nate: “Weren’t you all just telling me how great your lives are going?”

Parker: “Well, I stole the Hope Diamond. But then I put it back. Yeah, because I was bored. Didn’t care.”

Hardison: “Well I spent three days hacking the White House email. No buzz. But we are doing some pretty hinky stuff in Pakistan. Hinky.”

Sophie: “Look, I’m miserable, they’re miserable. Ok, Eliot, what have you been doing the last six months?”

Eliot: “I was in Pakistan.” -Leverage, Season 2, ep. 1 “The Turn-About Job”

-Jack: "Who has a sonic screwdriver?"

Doctor: "I do."

Jack: "Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks 'Ooh, this could be a little more sonic'?"

Doctor: "What, you've never been bored? Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?" -Doctor Who, Season 1

-Steve Newlin: "Kill me. Do it. Jesus will protect me."

Godric: "I am actually older than your Jesus. I wish I could have known him, but I missed it." -True Blood s3, ep 8 Time Bomb

-Tara: "We need to talk"

Franklin: "No, don't say that. Women say that and everything goes black, and I wake up surrounded by body parts." -True Blood s3, ep 5

-Mac: "Who are you?"

Suspect X: "Anyone you want me to be...Detective. Lover. Friend. Fantasy. Nightmare. Take your pick."

Mac: "Based on the amount of blood leaving your body from that hole I put in your chest...I'll go with 'dead'."

Suspect X: "That's not on the list."

Mac: "This is all just a game, isn't it? Tell me, what goes through your mind when you end a life?"

Suspect X: "Besides playing God?"

Mac: "You don't have much time. Give me something."

Suspect X: "A confession? Pulling the trigger is like...taking a deep breath of fresh air...seeing that last little speck of life in their eyes. Then when it fades...I don't know...I believe they're going to a better place."

-CSI: NY, 'DOA For a Day'

- Flynn: "Look, your boyfriend didn't just fall off the wagon. He jumped. With both feet. And then pushed the wagon over the cliff." -The Closer, s6, "Last Woman Standing"

-"I saw the best minds of my generation run down by the drunken taxicab of absolute reality." -White Collar, s1, "Pilot"

-"You might as well talk to us. We've got 4 cops who saw you blow that guy's brains out. You know what that means? It means that one of them could get hit by a bus and we've still got 3 cops who could put you away for first-degree murder." -Dutch, The Shield s1, "Blowback"

Movie Quotes:

-"We all began...as something else." -The Chronicles of Riddick

-"My easy-going nature is getting sorta fuckin' tested." -Nathan Filion, Slither

-"You know nothing. Hell is just a word. The reality is much, much worse." -Event Horizon

-"We who have seen war, will never stop seeing it. In the silence of the night, we will always hear the screams."-We Were Soldiers

-"Only the dead have seen the end of war."-Black Hawk Down

-Old Man: "In the church, they say to forgive."

Creasy:"Forgiveness is between them and God. It's my job to arrange the meeting."-Man On Fire

-Computer screen inside a briefcase lights up and displays these words: I am a bomb. You have just armed me. - Die Hard 2

-Matt: "You just took out a helicopter with a car!"

John: "I was out of bullets." -Live Free or Die Hard

-John: "CB-Radio? Isn't that a little low-tech for you guys?"

Warlock:"Low-tech,-dude, that my friend, is an end-of-the-world insurance system, okay? So when the last microchip goes down, I'm gonna be able to stay in touch with whoever's out there, whether they be zombies or not." -Live Free or Die Hard

-John: "I mean, how does that work? Got a service or something? Some kind of 800 number? 1-800-Henchmen? Oh, you know what? I bet you're still on hold with 'Can I get another dead Asian hooker bitch over here right away?' But seriously, all that kicking aside, that skinny little ninja chick, she was smokin' hot. A new one of those gonna be real hard to come by, right?" -Live Free or Die Hard

-Gabriel: "Hey...behave...or I will hurt you."

Lucy: "Oh, yeah? Let's step outside then, me and you. We'll see who hurts who." -Live Free or Die Hard

-"If you eliminate the impossible, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth." -Spock, Star Trek: 2009

-Spock: "Captain, what are you doing?"

Kirk:"Showing them compassion may be the only way to earn peace with Romulus. It's logic, Spock. I thought you'd like that."

Spock: "No, not really. Not this time." -Star Trek:2009

- Catwoman: "You killed me, the Penguin killed me, Batman killed me. That's...three lives down. Got enough left to finish me off?! (Two shots fired at her) Four...Five...Still alive! (Two more shots) Six...Seven...All good girls go to heaven. Two lives left. I think I'll save one for next Christmas. But in the meantime (fires up taser) how about a kiss, Santie Claus?" -Batman Returns

-"I took Gotham's white knight and I brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. See, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push." -Joker, The Dark Knight

-"It's not about what I want, it's about what's fair! You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. But you were wrong. The world is cruel and the only morality in a cruel world is chance. Unbiased. Unprejudiced. Fair." -Harvery "Two-Face" Dent, The Dark Knight

-"You either die a hero...or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." -Batman, The Dark Knight

-"Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn." -Alfred, The Dark Knight

-"Jeff...playtime is over. Now it's time to wake up." -Hayley, Hard Candy

-"I am every little girl you watched, touched, hurt, screwed, killed." -Hayley, Hard Candy

Scott: "Storm, fry him."

Magneto: "Oh yes, a bolt of lightning into a huge copper conductor. I thought you lived at a school." -XMEN, the movie

-"Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away." Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

-Cloud: "Stay where you belong. In my memories."

Sephiroth: "I will... never be a memory." Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children

-"Victims. Aren't we all?" -Brandon Lee, The Crow

-Crow: "Do you know someone named T-Bird? He had a friend who shouldn't have played with knives. Like the coat?"

Officer Albrecht: "You're the guy that murdered Tin-Tin."

Crow: "He was already dead. He died a year ago. The moment he touched her. They're all dead. They just don't know it yet." -The Crow movie

-"Every man's got a devil, and you can't rest until you find him." -The Crow

-Cop: "That was a fucking hollow point! You should be dead!"

Crow: "Guess it's true. Guns don't kill people." (whips knife out of pocket) "Think maybe knives do?" -The Crow: Salvation movie

-Another Cop: "You're the guy who killed Dutton."

Crow: "The way I see it, I want you to think of me as the guy who killed you." -The Crow: Salvation

- Heather: "What do you call a bunch of crows?"

Cole: "What, like a gaggle of geese?"

Heather: "A murder. A murder of crows." -Voodoo Moon

-Biker: "So what's your story, darlin'?"

Diana: "I got five years for stabbing this jackass biker for calling me "'darlin'". Oh. No, wait a second, that didn't happen yet. I'm sorry." -Voodoo Moon

-Cole: "Those won't stop him, Dutch."

Biker: "Maybe not. It'll damn sure put a hitch in his giddy-up." -Voodoo Moon

-Biker: "Man, fuck me runnin'." -Voodoo Moon

-Cassandra: "There's only one reason Christian girls visit the Planned Parenthood."

Roland: "She's planting a pipe bomb?!"

Cassandra: "Okay, two reasons."

Roland: "With Dean?! I think there's a better chance of that pipe bomb." -Saved

-"Hello? My name is Elliot Moore. I'm just going to talk in a very positive manner, giving off good vibes. We're just here to use the bathroom. Then we're just going to leave. I hope that's okay. (touches tree) Plastic. I'm talking to a plastic plant. I'm still doing it." -The Happening

-Michael: "When God chose your kind as the object of his love, I was the first in all Heaven to bow down before you. My love, my hope, for mankind, was no less than his. But I have watched you trample that gift. I've watched you kill each other over race and greed, waging war over dust and rubble and the words in old books. And yet, in the midst of all this darkness, I see some people who will not be bowed. I see some people who will not give up, even when they know all hope is lost. Some people who realize that being lost is so close to being found." -Legion

Random Quotes:

-English major. You do the math.

-Calculus: the agony and dx/dt. (the ecstasy)

-Blood is thicker than water...and it leaves stains.

-My dark cloud pwns your sunny day.

-You are not wanted here. Go away.

-I disagree with anything you have ever said.

-My imaginary friends can beat up your imaginary friends.

-You scare me...but in a good way...an insane clown with a chainsaw type of way.

-THe man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

-Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist invents the parachute.

-Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

-The next time someone says, "Sticks and stones may break bones but words will never hurt me"...HIT THEM WITH A DICTIONARY!

-"You know you're off the wall when the IRA blackballs you for being too violent." -FF/Fastlane x-over fic

-"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain." -Author Unknown

-"Anyone who clings to the historically untrue — and thoroughly immoral — doctrine that "violence never solves anything" I would advise to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and of the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler could referee, and the jury might well be the Dodo, the Great Auk, and the Passenger Pigeon. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor, and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and freedoms." -Robert Heinlien

-Down with the Lamb...Up with the Lark...run to bed, children, before it gets dark. -Eric Draven, The Crow (comic)

-"But dying’s no easy trick. And suicide can’t be put on a list of Things to Do in between cleaning the grill pan and leveling the sofa leg with a brick. It is the decision not to do, to un-do; a kiss blown at oblivion. No matter what anyone says, suicide takes guts. It’s for heroes and martyrs, truly vain-glorious men.” White Teeth by Zadie Smith

“You may be right about Samad…about many things. Maybe there are no good men, not even the two I might have in this belly…and maybe I do not talk enough with mine, maybe I have married a stranger. You might see the truth better than I. What do I know…barefoot country girl…never went to the universities. But I know I cannot be worrying-worrying all the time about the truth. I have to worry about the truth that can be lived with. And that is the difference between losing your marbles drinking the salty sea, or swallowing the stuff from the streams. My Niece-of-Shame believes in the talking cure, eh?” says Alsana, with something of a grin. “Talk, talk, talk and it will be better. Be honest, slice open your heart and spread the red stuff around. But the past is made of more than words, dearie. We married old men, you see? These bumps”-Alsana pats their bellies. –“they will always have daddy-long-legs for fathers. One leg in the present, one in the past. No talking will change this. Their roots will always be tangled. And roots get dug up.” –White Teeth by Zadie Smith

-But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.

'Oh, can't help that,' said the Cat. 'We're all mad here, I'm mad. You're mad.'

'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.

'You must be,' said the Cat, ' or you wouldn't have come here.'” - Lewis Carroll

Last but not least:

Guns don't kill people. I kill people.

Forgive me, Father. For I am sin.

Lynxgoddess passed this quote along to me:

"Fanfiction is what literature might look like if it were reinvented from scratch after a nuclear apocalypse by a band of brilliant pop-culture junkies trapped in a sealed bunker. They don't do it for money. That's not what it's about. The writers write it and put it up online just for the satisfaction. They're fans, but they're not silent, couchbound consumers of media. The culture talks to them, and they talk back to the culture in its own language."

—Lev Grossman, TIME, July 18, 2011

Story Updates:

(07/31/11) For those of you who are interested, I just wanted to let everyone know that I've been working on a variety of fics for the past couple weeks...ummm, make that months...and I'd really love to finish them all. Between school and work (like everyone else) free-time to write is near impossible; rest assured, however, that I will definitely be working on the stories that I've started and hopefully I can get some of them finished within the next couple weeks. I've had a lot of people put me on author alert and a few who've PM'd, asking if there were plans for more stories, and I just wanted to let people know that I will definitely continue writing. Also, I want to thank everyone who's added me to their favorites and their alerts, and for all anonymous reviewers to whom I cannot reply, thanks for all the good things you've had to say on my stories!

And on a final note, I'd like to give a shout-out to my beta and best friend Lynxgoddess, and to another wonderful author who's becoming quite a star in the Flashpoint fandom, Rgs38, for all the help and advice that they've given me. Rgs38, I can't wait for more Flashpoint fics from you! And Lynx, I will finish that story (you know the one I'm talking about) even if it kills me!