Is she living or is she dead? Living, with new story in progress.

Current Titans projects: Friends Like These (consider it a re-write of Phoenix and Rookie, with a twist, because it's the closest I can come) has two more chapters in a final draft. To come: a complete reworking of Fifth, Crystal (sequel to Red and Jade, with extra politics and Logan as point), and a canon-based sixth season for the Titans.

Various Rants
1. There is a vast difference between loose (baggy, untied, to untie/set free) and lose (to misplace, or to not win), conceded (admitted defeat) and conceited (arrogant), and prophecy (a warning/vision of the future) and prophesy (to give/proclaim one of the said warnings/visions about the future). If you're confused about which word to use, please check your local dictionary. I have an electronic version on my computer with a thesaurus and Wikipedia links built into it. When I'm writing, it's one of my best friends. (Free Mac application, it uses the New Oxford American Dictionary and Oxford American Writer's Thesaurus. There are lots of free online versions of dictionaries, as well.)

2. Don't write about rape. It will not lead to a pairing, it will not lead to fluff, and it is not something that can be adequately covered in a forum like fanfiction. Anyone mature enough to realize all the consequences following such an assault would have a very long story on their hands, very little of it humorous or romantic. There is no one single response to a sexual assault, no "right" way to get past the event, and no path that a survivor (volunteer-lingo for "victim") should follow after such an assault.

3. Tip your waitstaff, admire the wildflowers, get off your cell phone when you're making an order or paying your bill, and (just in case) always believe in fairies.

A Crash Course in Original Characters
So, your story has a bit part that can't be filled by a canon character. Instead of using a nameless security guard/scientist/police officer/victim/cashier #2 at the mall, you want to put in a character that will make a few small additions to your story. This is good. Developing Cashier #2 until she single-handedly saves the day with her spunky personality and unexpected genius-level IQ behind her size-00 (with curves!!) beauty is not good. Why? Because, no matter what you call Cashier #2, your readers will recognize her as Mary-Sue, that dreaded usurper of stories, third wheel on relationships, and general annoyance.

How do you avoid a Mary-Sue, and Marty-Stu, her just-as-attractive-but-in-a-masculine-way smart, rugged, athletic, and charming long-lost twin brother? Common sense, a little planning, and these easy tips.

1) Interaction
Your original character (OC) will have a reaction to the other characters in the story. That reaction should not (let me repeat: should not) be identical to your own. They might be impressed, cynical, distrusting, or fanatic. Whatever it is, that impression will change over time. An OC is not your cue to start waxing poetic about your favorite character(s). If your OC sounds like you, talks like you, and looks like you (but less those twenty pounds you keep fussing about, with longer hair, martial arts know-how, and designer clothes), you don't have an OC. You have a self-insert Mary-Sue. Your readers will know, and will not share your opinions about Ms. Mary-Sue.

2) Role
Your OC is not there to save the day, play a pivotal role in the story that will earn the Most Valuable Character nod, or end up romantically involved with a canon character. If she or he is, then you aren't writing a story about (insert fandom here). You're writing a story about your character, and the canon characters seem to be participating. Your OC is there to further the plot, provide something canon characters cannot, be more fun for the readers than Cashier #2, and get out of the way when the created role is over.

3) Career
You might need a scientist, police officer or Cashier #2. While your OC can certainly be qualified for the job, and very good at it, please respect the limits to suspension of disbelief. Suspension of disbelief is that old phenomenon that happens when you start watching a movie or a musical. If you go to see Wicked and keep wondering how everyone knows the steps and chords, you won't enjoy the show. If you refuse to listen to a donkey talking, you won't enjoy Shrek. Do you see how this works? Your readers do this for you, too, but you can't push them too far. You can have a microbiologist. You can even have a brilliant microbiologist who didn't let herself go, and looks quite the sight when dressed for a night on the town. However: when you end up with Dr. Hensley, 22-year-old prodigy Ph.D. in microbiology, nationally renowned, runs her own lab, constantly solicited to appear on talkshows, brilliant, bombshell brunette with a whole lot of attitude, the most advanced research in the country, and a go-get-'em attitude- the audience is confused, because you just ended up with a very (very) bad case of Mary-Sue.

By doing your research, you will realize that earning your Ph.D. normally takes seven to nine years of very hard work beyond high school if all goes perfectly, especially in science. Doing it in four years total means that you have a work-driven nutcase on your hands, in the best case. Owning a lab takes quite a bit of cash on its own, and the equipment required is enough to exhaust a bank. One centrifuge about a foot high will cost a few thousand dollars. Last but not least- celebrity scientists are famous for something besides science. Typically, that's a crack team of experts to back them up, a brilliant orthodontist, a grade-A hairstylist, and connections to a talkshow host and/or a best-selling book.

Please, do your research. This applies to characters who are scientists, cops, zookeepers, firefighters, nurses, mail carriers, cartoonists, magazine editors, mechanics... You get the picture. If you want to add to your story, know the background information.

That's it.
This is a crash course, written because profiles are boring when empty and I didn't have the right answer for "how do you write non-Sues?" before. If you want to test a character, I recommend a Mary-Sue litmus test for pure fun. Don't treat it as the gospel truth, but answering the questions honestly will give you a good idea where your characters stand. It's not always right, but it can give you a ballpark idea.

There are exceptions to the above rules, but I've never read a good OC that could break all three.

Mary-Sue Test

It's as easy as clicking boxes. That website even adds for you.
Note: link valid when the profile was updated, but searching "Mary Sue Test" in any search engine should find an alternative.

Summaries
"Plz read! Summary sucks, story way better. (Confusing summary of plot here). Thx!" If I see a summary like that, I move on. So do other fanficcers I've spoken with. If you'd like to work on your summaries, these tips may help.

1) Spelling and grammar are not a waste of space.
This will be your reader's first introduction to your story. If your summary is painful to read (again, duel English teacher grandmothers--I reflexively point out spelling/grammar mistakes on signs and restaurant menus), who's going to give your story a try? You only have 255 characters. Make them count. Use your spell-check, ask a friend to look it over, give your beta-reader a very short blurb to read over. Remember that this is your chance to grab attention and make people want to read your story.

2) Don't use abbreviations unusual to your canon. (NO CHATSPEAK, please.)
Some abbreviations make your life much easier. AU is Alternate Universe, many romantic pairings have designated short forms, and several fandoms have entire vocabularies of shortcuts. Chatspeak (ppl, bc, u, 2 for to or too...) might save character space, but may drive readers (myself included) to move on to the next story on the list.

3) Do not tell me that your summary sucks.
If you feel like your summary is not an accurate description of your story, or that your summary could be better, change it. Rewrite it. Ask for suggestions to improve the summary in an author's note within the actually story. If you can't write a 255-character blurb, why will the reader trust you to handle a story with a few hundred/thousand words?

4) Do not beg for reviews.
This implies that no one is reading your story. If no one else is reading the story... readers may assume there's a reason. Yes, that is harsh, but it's true. Sometimes your first story will get 20 reviews, but those reviewers just might be interested in your next story. Don't make a note in the summary. Keep writing, keep playing with your writing style, and pay attention to how many people actually read within that fandom. In some fandoms, 20 reviews means your story is a great success.

So, what should you do?
I like summaries, perhaps because I loathe finding titles that fit the story. This isn't a definitive guide, but these tips might give you a starting place.

1) Think about the main plotline of the story.
Sometimes, you need to give something from your plot away. Think about your plot, and pick out the most interesting aspects. You don't need to give them all away in the summary, but give your reader a reason to click the link and look into your first chapter. (This is a very good stage for asking a friend or beta-reader for help. They can tell you if the average reader will be able to understand what you imply or promise with your summary.)

2) Some fandom abbrevations mentioned may help your case.
Some readers especially like a specific pairing, AUs, or stories set after a particular point in a series. (Spoiler warnings for specific books/episodes/plotlines will warn away readers that don't want the ending revealed, and may attract readers who want to read something set after that point in the series.)

3) Edit.
Sometimes, tweaking a summary after a story is posted will interest new people. Don't just check for grammar/spelling/proper use of the language that you write in. If your plot has changed direction, alter your summary to reflect that. If you've decided to focus more on a different aspect of the plot, note that in the summary. You can easily change the summary without reposting the story.

In conclusion:
Your summary doesn't have to be the most brilliant piece of writing you've ever done. It just has to make people want to read your first chapter. (Your first chapter's job is to make readers come back for the rest, but writing about first chapters would make my profile much longer than it needs to be. My quick advice for that: make sure that the reader has an idea that something fun/interesting/dramatic/cool/whatever is going to happen, and stick to that promise.)

To answer any other questions you might have about me: I'm a younger-than-dirt American university student with a tiny obsession about proper grammar. I'm a fantasy-loving science major who would very much like to be a doctor. I let my three trained attack goldfish Sergei, Dumbledore, and Inigo Montoya take care of unwanted solicitors, telemarketers, and irritating professors with unrelenting deadlines.

Special note: I need a name for a fish I inherited from a neighbor who didn't want to take it to Arizona with her. Any suggestions? Send a PM if you have an idea, please. S/he's been nameless for almost a month. I have no idea what kind of fish it is, but it looks like a zebra danio/guppy hybrid--stripes from mouth to tail, red-tipped fins. To give you an idea about names: my other fish are named after Sergei Federov, who played for the Red Wings when I was in elementary school (GO WINGS!), Albus Dumbledore, and Inigo Montoya. If you don't recognize the last two characters as mainstays ofthe Harry Potter and Princess Bride universes, your education in pop culture is sorely lacking. I highly recommend the Princess Bride movie over the book. It's one of the rare cases where the movie is more fun.

Updated May 26th, 2009.
Status: Still alive (and on summer vacation!), in possession of a shiny new muse (thank you to all who voted in the poll), still a pre-med undergraduate with the MCAT on June 18th ("This test will determine if you get into medical school, and thus have a gigantic impact on the next seven to ten years of your life. No pressure.")