I've never been sure why people put summaries of their stories on these pages, but oh well...
Homecoming: My most recent fic, a one-shot Artemis Fowl set after the Lost Colony, so spoiler alert! Fairly basic premise; Artemis returns to Fowl Manor for the first time to find his parents out to dinner, and gets a glimpse of what's been going on during his absence. When Angeline and Artemis I come home, will they even believe it's him?
Sample grab:
...A young person was accosting him, but it wasn’t Juliet as he had been expecting. He chose his words carefully.
“Do I look like I am capable of kidnapping?” The honest answer to that was yes, but not unless you asked someone who knew Artemis when he was twelve.
“What? A guy heading straight for the babies’ room? You’re a bit young to be a kidnapper, but I guess you thought that would throw me. I could give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re just here to steal stuff-”
“Ridiculous. I built this security system myself. It is impossible to simply break in.”
That was the wrong thing to say, as evidenced by the knife digging in harder. He hoped his shirt wouldn’t get ruined, then remembered it was covered in volcanic ash anyways.
“Wrong. Now you’ve made me really mad. The last thing those people need reminding of tonight is that. Everybody knows who built the system.”
What You Grow To Be: Harry Potter fic, with HBP out, I was thinking of discontinuing it. However, I changed my mind (and the plot) and am now finally writing the mega-crossover I've always wanted to. Basic premise: Bel and Rod Lestrange's daughter has been prophecy-ing for the dark side for years, but now the Order has her. (Geez, that sounds so Mary-Sue but it's not, I promise, I even took the test to make sure.)Recently she's been making prophecies about the subtle knife. (From Philip Pullman's His Dark Matierials) Basically, what if every world that the kinfe could cut to was another book? As in, if Harry was the bearer, hint hint, he could cut to the Discworld, the world of the Animorphs, Artemis Fowl, or the world of the Sight from David Clement-Davies.I know, I know, I'm an evil genius. Please do not poach this idea for it's brilliance. XD
Sample grab from the story:
“What’s the problem, Moody?” Hermione and Ron exchanged looks. Harry mentally cursed. He’d been trying to hide it all summer, and he’d thought in the dim evening light nobody would be able to see-he’d let his guard down, stupid, stupid…
“Potter,” said Mad-Eye Moody calmly, “Why have you got the words ‘I must not tell lies’ etched on the back of your hand?” -Ch.4: Dinner Guest
People In Glass Offices Shouldn't Race Strechers: A (loving!) House, M.D.parody. The title comes from the old adage about how people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I figured since hey, all the rooms in Princeton-Plainsboro are apparently made of glass, the much-beloved pastime of stretcher racing could cause more tragedy than anyone ever dreamed.
Sample grab from the story:
"Just then, Dr. Wilson poked his head around the doorframe to greet House “Hello, my crusty misanthropic friend. How’s it-OH NO, HERE COMES CUDDY! LIMP, HOUSE! LIMP LIKE THE WIIIND!” Dr. House sprang into action with an undignified cry of “AUGH! CUDDY! SERPENTINE! SERPINTINE!”
House tried to get away, but alas; Dr. Cuddy has no infarction in her leg and, unusually for…well, anybody, is unafraid of House."-Ch. 1: Stretcher Drag Racing
The Luck of the Irish: Arty's still mind-wiped, and worried about mirrored contact lenses, orange Jell-O, and heat hazes. The LEP are worried that he's worried, which means...yes...more work for Foaly. Meanwhile, a clinically insane girl has moved in to take lessons from Butler and Angeline is pregnant. Which wouldn't be so bad if they weren't going to name the baby Holly. Which they do. In the meantime, he's made friends with Butler's protege and a girl named Jen Spiro. Jen's not feeling so good about her uncle kidnapping the baby. Surprisingly, Artemis doesn't like this either.
Sample grab from the story: "What Artemis didn’t realize is that before becoming Butler’s student, Tawny would probably have tried to kill him for that ‘simple question‘. But time spent with Artemis Fowl tends to change the way people react to him. They will take crap from an adolescent vampire that they would deck anybody else for. " - Ch14, She's Not The Same
Changeling: a more Holly-centric fic, post-TOD. Holly's missing, and it's up to her friends to find her. Transformed into a human by mysterious creatures, she's been told she has to hide out on the surface if she ever wants to see Julius alive again. But she's not the only one the creatures have turned human. Umbeknownst to Holly, Mulch and Trouble are also on the surface. They've teamed up with Butler, Artemis Fowl,and a 'friend' (more like a business contact) of his named Mona to find her.
Sample grab from the story: "The doctors stopped talking as the woman in the bed stared at her hands, looking at them from all angles. Slowly, slowly, her hand trembling like a leaf in a gale, she reached up and felt her ear. She ran her long, tapered fingers around its perfect, rounded, seashell curve. Before anyone could stop her, she jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Her reflection stared back at her- a suddenly haunted-looking young woman, with nut-brown skin, about twenty or thirty years old. She was very pretty, with Cupid-bow lips, wide, frantic-looking hazel eyes and an auburn buzz cut. Heightwise, she was about 5’10”. She turned around." -Ch.2:Holly
Life With Voldemort: A fairly silly, probably one-shot fic. Harry and Ginny's married life, in bad sitcom form, with Voldemort Apparating up in the kitchen for crumpets and a then a death struggle. He's really quite popular with the kids.
Sample grab from the story:
“Hello there. I see you’ve got another loose tooth.”
“Yeth.”
“What did you get from the Tooth Fairy last time?”
“A Thickle.”
A silence falls.
“Your parents are filthy blood traitors.”
“Daddy seth you’re a crazed maniac thycopath.”
“Yes, well, Daddy’s going to get it this time. I’d kill you, too, ideally. It was a mistake to swear an Unbreakable Vow to kill him first. Your old man is surprisingly hard to murder, you know. Harder than mine was, at any rate.”- Ch. 1
In addition, later I might possibly write/cowrite an AF/HP crossover. I know it's been done, but MINE SHALL RULE THEM ALL...oh, just shut up...
Hey y'all! I'm silverfingers, and I just updated my profile. Thanks for reading through my summaries up there. If you didn't, I don't really care as long as you read the actual fics. :)
My favorite authors? I love Terry Pratchett, J K Rowling (duh), Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, and Eoin Colfer (It's pronounced Owen, people). To my fellow country music fans: Someday all others will realize their music is crap and come join us. Except possibly for lilacpurple. Warning: Owing to the fact that I almost never take anything off this profile, it is insanely long. Most of it is quotes, though, so we're good.
Quotes of the Day:
‘He’s been here for a hundred years?’
POSSIBLY NOT. TIME IS DIFFERENT HERE. IT IS...MORE PERSONAL.
‘Ah. You mean a hundred years can pass like a few seconds?’
A HUNDRED YEARS CAN PASS LIKE INFINITY.
-Terry Pratchett, Small Gods (The reason the second person's lines are ALL IN CAPS is that the second person is Death, and he always talks like that.)
"You think you can predict what my next move is? Look at this, I dare you to swear you expected this one coming: men's one hundred meter swimming freestyle!"
- Yusuke, Yu Yu Hakusho
"Eh...Commander. You wearing any metal?"
"Yes, my breastplate, buckle, insignia, blaster. Why?"
"Put it like this. How fond are you of your ribs?"- Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident
Rita Skeeter: Just ignore the quill, Harry.
Harry Potter(reading what the Quick-Quotes Quill is writing): Hey- my eyes are not glistening with the ghosts of my past!
I am seriously obsessed with House, M.D. It is truly the cure for the common medical drama, except Stacy needs to be transferred to Antartica just to get her out of my face and OFF MY SHIP. MY HOUSE/CAMERON SHIP. I love House/Cameron. Anything else is bad. Especially House/Wilson.
OK, just realized you might want to know the reason behind my name. If not, skip this paragraph. In the book 'Inkheart', Mo had such a beautiful voice that he made the stories he read, literally, leap from the pages, earning him the nickname Silvertongue. I want to create something similar with my writing (obviously without the tragedy that ensued for Mo, what with reading all the evil people out of the book.) However, I'm not talking, I'm writing, so I replaced Silvertongue with silverfingers, because typing requies fingers, not a tongue. Hope it's not too presumptous, comparing my writing talents to something as magical as Mo's voice.:-) I'm not a major Inkheart fan, but it was a good book that I've read twice.
I also like Animorphs, pudding, country music, REVIEWS, Comedy Central, and House. House is a medical drama. IT'S AWESOME! Really. I also like Richard Preston's books The Hot Zone, The Cobra Event, and The Demon In The Freezer.
I really like Animorphs, too bad I stumbled upon the series when it was practically over. I know it's finished now. I KNOW Rachel died. Don't remind me.
I neither like nor read Artemis/Holly pairings in Artemis Fowl fiction. They are so VERY WRONG, no matter how well-written. I mean, there's the age difference, then there's the whole SPECIES difference...what I'm trying to say is that I don't read or write A/H. Sorry! I also like some manga. There is no hope for me now. At least I still have my country music.
Favorite comics: Ruroni Kenshin, Inuyasha, Yuyu Hakusho, xXx Holic, and... Dilbert. Yes, Dilbert. You may be mocking me, but I cannot hear you.
Yes! I have MORE QUOTES(although not from my lovely fics)!
"No one ever calls me just to say hello."-Artemis Fowl, Artemis Fowl: the Opal Deception
Buffy: So. Dawn's in trouble. Must be Tuesday. -Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"I had a cat named Snowball
She died, she died
Mom said she was sleeping
She lied! She lied!
Why oh why is my cat dead
Couldn't that Chrysler have hit me instead?-"
-Lisa Simpson, The Simpsons
"They do say, Mrs M, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain. They are, of course, wrong, as you will soon discover when I stick this toasting fork into your head."- Blackadder
Dr. Wilson: You're eating his sandwich? The man's in a coma!
Dr. House: (chewing sandwich): It's all right. He doesn't mind; I asked.
Dr. Wilson: You're getting crumbs on him!
-House, M.D.
American astronaut:You don't know how to work the components!
Russin astronaut: American componets, Russian components, ALL MADE IN TAIWAN!-Armageddon
Homer (to Lisa, on the museum window ledge): Could you open the window? The police have Daddy's fingerprints on file.-The Simpsons
Dr.Chase: How'd you like it if I interfered in your personal life?
Dr. House: I'd hate it. That's why, cleverly, I have no personal life. -House, M.D.
Dr. Foreman: You assaulted that man!
Dr. House: Fine. I'll never do it again.
Dr. Foreman: Yes you will.
Dr. House: All the more reason this debate is pointless. -House, M.D.
Do you know what's really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. The trouble is, if you risk nothing, you risk even more.
Dr. House: What we need to do is treat... um...
Dr. Cameron: Brandon.
Dr. House: Brandon! Thank you. Now, most allergic reactions accompany some form of drug. Have you ever taken drugs...
Dr. Cameron: Brandon.
Dr. House: Brandon! Lovely name. -House, M.D.
Dr. House: I take risks, sometimes patients die, but not taking risks causes more patients to die, so my biggest problem is the curse to do the math. -House, M.D.
Dr. Foreman: I think your argument is specious.
Dr. House: I think your tie is ugly. -House, M.D.
Dr. Wilson: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality.
Dr. House: Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain. -House, M.D.
'He saw the patterns,' said Lu-Tze. 'And reacted to the Mandala.' he did not add: and the Mandala reacted to him. He wanted to think about that. When you look into the abyss, it's not supposed to wave back. Thief of Time, Terry Pratchett
"But mother!"
"Father lad, father." Monty Python and the Holy Grail
'I want to be young and wild, and then I want to be middle-aged and rich, and then I want to be old and annoy people by pretending I'm deaf.' Blackadder
Wilson: (sarcastically) Yes, I forgot. I need a reason to give a crap.
House: You're giving two craps.
Wilson: The metric system always confuses me. -House, M.D.
House:There is not a thin line between love and hate. There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China with armed sentries every twenty feet between love and hate. -House, M.D.
House(handing girl a slip of paper): No neck pain, no rash...go to the third floor.
Wilson: House, if she doesn't have a neck pain or rash she doesn't have mengenitis; she can leave.
House: She also doesn't smell like chlorine, which means she wasn't at the pool when the mengenitits epidemic broke out. Which means she has deliberately exposed herself to a quarantine area, which mean she's either stupid or crazy. And no one's that stupid. Third floor, miss: Psych ward.-House, M.D.
"Yes. Snow. We'll discuss it at great length later, when we're not being chased by angry trolls." Holly Short, Artemis Fowl: the Opal Deception
Yuusuke: "Tell you what: Give up now, and I'll only rip out ONE of your lungs."
Suzaku: "And if I refuse?"
Yuusuke: "Then hold your stinkin' breath."
-Yu Yu Hakusho
I'm not the sidekick, am I? Because the sidekick always gets it."- Mulch Diggums, Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception.
Giles: If I want your opinion, Spike, I'll... I'll never want your opinion.-Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Maladict: ...We'll threaten to shoot them.
Polly: And what if they won't hand it over?
Maladict: Then we'll threaten to shoot them in a much louder voice. Happy?" Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Practhett:
...And then there's the whole Muntab question."
"Where's Muntab?"
"Exactly."
- The Truth, Terry Pratchett
"We spend the first twleve months of our kid's lives teaching them to walk and talk. We spend the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up."-Phyllis Diller
"She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so they don't apply to you" -Equal Rites
"Death is missing, presumed...er...gone." Either Reaper Man or Soul Music
"Being an an alternate reality would be a lot cooler if we weren't all in mortal peril"
-Danny Phantom
Sir Issac Newton strove his whole life to find the answer to gravity. And when did he find it? When he sat on his butt under a tree. Remember, never strive.
Cameron: ...becuase I'M not an angry, manipulative S.O.B.!
House: I'm sorry, I though you said you weren't angry?-House
"If life gives you a lemon, you say, 'Thanks, I like lemons. What else you got?" - The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
"Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run - he hates that."
Kermit (AKA Scarecrow): We all have problems. I don't have a brain
Gonzo (AKA Tin Man):Aand my heart's just rusty parts
Pepe the Prawn (AKA Toto): And I"m so darn sexy it hurts-The Muppet Wizard of Oz
Hapless Intern: Ummm, the patient shows symptoms of...Dr. House? You're reading a comic book.
House: And you're calling attention to your chest by wearing a low-cut shirt. pause Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were having a 'point-out-the-obvious' contest"-House
Mac (going bowling): I am the pins. The pins are my enemy. I am my enemy. I am going to hurl this ball toward myself...-Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
"Me? I'm going to worry like crazy and that's not all that easy, believe me!"-Lu-Tze
"A fish!"-Wen the Eternally Surprised
Susan: What are you going to do?
Lu-Tze: Lie. You'd be amazed how often it works.-Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
"... these disguises are meant for a potato...Look, it's got 'Mr. Spuddy Face' on it."-Corporal Angua
"So long and thanks for all the fish"-The dolphins, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
"The problem is, I am now a perfectly safe penguin" Ford, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
"It's just a scratch."
"A SCRATCH? Your arm's off! " Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"No running with scythes!"- Miss Susan, Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett
"Death awaits you, with big pointy teeth!" Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"Holy cheese on rye!" -Yu Yu Hakusho
"Now we sing dis stupid song,
Sing it as we march along
Why we sing dis we don't know
We can't make the words rhyme properly" -Night Watch by Terry Pratchett
"Spiders-making me tap dance- I don't want to tap dance, Harry!"
"You tell those spiders, Ron." -PoA (the movie)
"If Abercrombie declared breathing uncool, half the teenagers in the USA would be dead by tomorrow."
"Girls lie, too"-Terri Clark, Girls Lie Too
"Now that's a good commercial" Brad Paisley
"Back when you said 'I'm down with that'/well, it meant you had the flu" Tim McGraw, Back When
If I hit that fishin' hole today
She'd be packin' all her things
And she'd be gone by noon
Well, I'm gonna miss her... -Brad Paisley, I'm Gonna Miss Her
'Cause every light in the house is blown
I keep on a clappin' but they don't clap on
House looks like where the amish live
There's really no point to pay the power bill
'Cause every light in the house is blown
The numbers won't even light up on my telephone...- Cledus T. Judd, Every Light in the House is Blown
Linky links! I have no artistic ability. Nada. Zip. I am, however, extremely appreciative of this talent in others, especially if they turn it to the noble cause of fan art. I don't know who these people are personally, but they are very, very good. Scary good. I seriously advise all of you to check out the first one, at least if you are a fan of Artemis Fowl or Harry Potter. NOTE: I DID NOT DRAW THESE.
Harry Potter: http://acciobrain.ligermagic.com/-the only HP fanart you'll ever need...
http://www.nocturnalsoldier.org/Tealin/artindex.html -Okay, you'll also need this one, too. Her Lupin is amaaazing. Also does some excellent Discworld.
Assorted Artemis:
http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/art/r/a/rachel12/holly_shortbw.jpg.html
http://www.fanart-central.net/pic-77059.html ARCTIC INCIDENT FANS LOOK AT THIS
http://www.fanart-central.net/pic-74357.html
http://www.fanart-central.net/pic-75802.html-stuff from the Artic Incident
http://www.fanart-central.net/pic-85368.html- cute one of Artemis
-I don't actually know any of these artists, so be rest assured I am not shamelessly plugging bad art from my friends.
heh heh hehe. wipes eyes. Good times.Yep, that's about it. This is all hilariously funny, if you're me. Which you're not. So it's just pointless. bai-bai now. And always remember: The floor is lava!
~Silverfingers
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