I have changed my name! I am now Meester Squeed, to honor all of the architeuthi out there! ((yes, i am aware that i put meester, even though i'm a girl. it just sounds better as meester sqweed instead of mees sqweed))

Wow, I actually made it to junior year.

I spend most of my time reading, or playing on the computer, which gives me many ideas for my stories.

My first character was Fhil Eon. She was the first distinguishable voice in my head. The others give me more ideas for my storys. Each person in my storys come from a little voice in my head that I can't shut up, until I start writing what they're telling me.

Many people think that I'm weird. This is for many reasons. The main one is that...well, I'm not quite sure why that is.

I'm never quite sure what's going on around me, because I'm thinking of other things. I'm also a girl, just in case you wanted to know.

Here are some random facts:

Favorite Word: Ish Kabibble (sorry. turns out this is two words, not one.)

Favorite Books: all the LotR books, the Mediator series, the Abhorsen Trilogy, the Artemis Fowl series, the Hero and the Crown, The Blue Sword, Chronicals of the Moon, and Dr. Seuss books XD

Favorite TV Shows: Scrubs, The Office,The Simpsons, CSI, NCIS, Numb3rs, House, MASH, and Monty Python's Fly Circus

Favorite Movie: Lord of the Ring ((all of them!!)), Oceans Eleven, Oceans Twelve, MASH, and the Monty Python movies

Favorite Drink: Lemon Izzy (mmmmm! this is a delicious drink)

Favorite Food: Grilled Octopus, Fried Squid, Tiramisu, CHOCOLATE, and Flan

Favorite TV Characters: GIR, Hawkeye, Klinger, Radar

Funny Words: Ish Kabibble, probably, Bob

Favorite Song At The Moment: Basket Case By: Green Day, Pretty Fly For A White Guy By: Offspring, Wow, I can Get Sexual Too By: Say Anything, Bohemian Rhaspody By: Queen, Monster by: The Automatic Automatic, And I Love You By: monsterslovesushi, Grace Kelly By: Mika, Play That Funky Music By: Wild Cherry, almost any Linkin Park song, and all Good Charlotte songs.

Interesting Fact: GIR means Garbage Information Retreval unit, like the SIR robots, but he was made of garbage, so he's GIR.

Least Favorite Color: Pink and Yellow (they are just so bright and girly)

Least Favorite Song: Your Beautiful By: James Blunt. I HATE that song!! I don't understand why people like it. The song is played waaay too much, and his voice sounds like nails on a chalk board. I don't care what other people think, because I won't change my mind about this song. Oh, yeah, and any of the songs from High School Musical. I can't stand them!! BTW, Zac Efron is UGLY and he can't sing! Also, Sexy Back By: Justin Timberlake. That song just gets on my nerves. HE SOUNDS LIKE A FRIGGN GIRL PEOPLE!!

GAMES I'M NO LONGER ALLOWED TO PLAY WITH DEFIANT-CRAYON: Monopoly, because we both get mad at each other, Sorry, because its boring, Candyland, because Defiant-Crayon always throws a fit, and Blues-Clues, because that game is really really HARD!!

A peom I got off HiddenDreamLuv2's profile. If you care, copy and paste into your profile.

My name is Sarah

I am but three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says its my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.

Child Abuse: Make it stop!

My name is Nora
and I'm seventeen,
I am on drugs
and cannot clearly see.
Because of this
my grades in school have dropped.
I am very drunk,
Sometimes I'm beaten up
by some street punk.
There are so many rules
i've tried not to break,
But I am so drunk
that I can't stand up straight.
I am so drunk ,
Most of the time
I cannot talk.
Maybe if my parents trusted me,
they would let me hold a car key.
One night I was out walking around,
But there was a sound
and then I saw a man
who didn't want me in town.
The man was holding a gun,
He was not as bright
He was like a Earth without a sun.
My name is Nora
I am seventeen,
and tonight a man
murdered me.
Remember: Say NO to drugs!! Drug Abuse is very dangerous, so help make it stop.If you care at all about stopping Drug Abuse copy the poem and add your name to this list: Ice The Angel, Tiger Mew Mew, Jojo McDodd, Pixel Alice, NightmaresAtMidnight,Sesshomaru's Hot Mate, Meester Sqweed

Hi, my name is Kazu. I like Writing and I like Athletics. I am running down the road I suddenly tripped over. I come home with a scatch on my knee. My mummy begins to worry. I tell her I am fine. She sighs and says ok. I am at school. When suddenly I fall and hit a tree. I am sent to the sickbay. Then I am sent home. Mummy takes me to the doctors. The doctors tell mummy something. Mummy starts to cry. I tell her it's ok. I'm not going to die. She tells me I am starting. Starting to be slower. I don't know what it means. But I have become sick. I tell mummy it's ok. I will become better. Mummy starts to cry. Do I have cancer? Mummy says no. Then what do I suppose. As a year had past. I struggle to walk. My speech is getting slower. It's hard for me to talk. My friends like to help me. My classmates like to run. But I have to sit down. And watch them have fun. Then one day my teacher. Comes to see mummy.Daddy comes out. And starts to get all snotty. The teacher tells my parents. I can no longer go to school.My motion is too slow. I ask the teacher slowly. I am sorry I am useless. I start to cry and beg her. I want to go to school. The teacher gives a smile. And tells me she is sorry. The school cant really help me. The words were so cruel. The day I had to leave. My friends and classmates cried. The boys upon the windows. Wave to me goodbye. I smile and sit in the car. I am taken to a school. A school with special people. Just like me and you. I start to have some fun. I made a lot of friends. As many years passed again. I talk too slow to understand. I cannot run anymore. And I struggle to even stand. I cannot write in my diary. My motion is too slow. Then one day I am sent. To the hospital again. Now many years have passed. I lie in a warm bed. I cannot move my body. I cannot move again. I talk very slowly. I cannot move my head. My mummy sits there crying. My daddy looks depressed. I ask my mummy sadly. Am I going to die. My mother holds my hand. Yells and starts to cry.

A few more years later.

I have to shut my eyes. I cannot talk or move. I seem to have died.

Copy and Paste this story about Kazu who was diagnosed with a rare uncurable disease, Spinocerebellar Degeneration, in your profile. This disease causes a failure of muscle control in their arms and legs, resulting in a lack of balance and coordination or a disturbance of gait. Support and send the message worldwide.

Here's a cool little poem that I found on PinkSakuraPetals's profile:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list:

AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen, watching-waiting-wishing, 100-percent-Harry-Potter-obsessed, iluvdavidwright45, dianeandnumairareahotcouple, windsoftiti, Ilovethelittletacos...Ilovethemgood, i-have-issues-deal-with-it, Kiba Obsessed Demonic Angel, Digital98, Yin's Crescent, -Death-Tainted-Rose-, -WhoevaICanBe-/-pinkk.pocky-,anime-rocks-12-, Sakura Li-chan, Meester Sqweed,

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

A true friend is someone who will try to answer the "eraser bits" question and have a long conversation about it. A friend is someone who wont say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing to, just help you cry. If you have a true friend, copy and paste this in your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 of teenagers have tried smoking pot, if you are proud to say you are part of the 2 that hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read something and had something a teacher said the next day remind you of what you read to the point where you burst into outrageous stifled laughter and had your "peers" look at you strangely or point and laugh at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a song stuck in your head, and end up punching yourself in the head because it was soo annoying, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile

If you hate people telling you suck at writing and that you should just quit, copy this to your profile.

If you hate people telling you that they could write it better than you, then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever been at the right place, at the right time, but it was the wrong day then copy this to your profile.

If you know (a) video game character(s) or video game weapon(s) that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever spent a long amount of time looking for something that you were holding/wearing, copy this to your profile

A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus put this on your profile.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

If you think that those god-forsaken kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Archangel's Requiem, Lady Sakura of the Fated, Emy Em Em, Kiska King, ButWhyIsAllTheRumAlwaysGone?, goody goody gumdrop 06,poniescheerleader1993 (when i'm extremely bored), ghilliekitten, Wildimagination (When I have time), Pepipanda, Saphire Moon Maiden, Meester Sqweed

You know you live in 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password into the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually look to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Repost if you fell for it. You know you did

You know your now living in 2008 when...

1. Your more concerned about fiding the remote to turn on/off the TV than pressing the On/Off button.

2. You'd rather use NetFlicks or any other on-line movie provider rather than going to the Movie Store.

3. You call your friends by their screennames instead of their real names.

4. You play more video game versions of board games than the actual board games.

5. You talk the chatroom language instead of English.

7. Your nighttime activity is reading stories on the computer instead of a book.

8. Your reading this list and you keep nodding and smiling.

9. Your thinking about how stupid you are for reading this in the first place.

10. You were so busy you didn't notice number six.

11. Now your actually checking to see if there was a number six.

12. Your either laughing right now at your own stupidity or thinking I'm an idiotfor doing this.

14. Your most likely calling me an idiot or something.

15. You were too busy once again to notice a missing number.

16. You check to see if you actually did miss another number.

17a. If you found it your probably calling yourself an idiot for missing another one.

17b. If you haven't found it, keep looking and count carefully.

18. Repost if you fell for it, once or twice. You know you did.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Orlando Bloom said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your carcass off.

Who ever said noting is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

Year
Envy-1985, 1998
Forgiveness- 1986, 1999
Harmony1987, 2000
Joy- 1988, 2001
Divinity-1989, 2002
Ignorance-1990, 2003
Love- 1991, 2004
Adamancy- 1992, 2005
Courage- 1993, 2006
Mercy- 1994, 2007
Bashfulness- 1995, 2008
Kindness- 1996, 2009
Zeal- 1997, 2010

Month
Envy- January
Forgiveness- February
Harmony- March
Joy- April
Divinity- May
Ignorance- June
Love- July
Adamancy- August
Courage- September
Bashfulness- November
Kindness- December
Zeal- February 29th

_.s_s _ If you're a girl and you've ever
_s?_s_s³ _ beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
_.s_ .s_ s³ _ copy the Flaming Heart of
_s³_.s_ .³ _ Youthfulness into your profile!
_..._... ... ... ._s³_ ³ _ (Girls only!)
_s_s³_ ³,
_s_³s_..
_³s._³s ,
_³._³s .s_ ..
_._³_ s³
_³s_³s³_ s³
_³s_s_ s
_s._s³_.s ³_
_s..s ³_
_s.ss _
_s³
_ssssssssssss
_s§§§§§§§§§ss§§§§§§§§§
_³§§§§§§§§§§§§§ss§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
_§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§s§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
_³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§
_³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
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_³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
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_³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§³
_³§§§§§§§§§§§³
_³§§§§§³
_³§³

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

(\_/)
=(n.n)=
(_)

Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies.) XD

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I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG ASS.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST have seven wives.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. (Spare me the ignorance)
I HANG OUT with teenage DRINKERS AND SMOKERS, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be a controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber- sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian.

~STOP STEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTPYES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ITALICIZE & BOLD THE ONES YOU ARE~

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

Your One and Only Wish

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green.

3. your first initial?

4. your month of birth?

5. which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. your favorite number?

8. do you like California of Florida more?

9. do you like the lake or ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)

are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don't cheat--)

The Answers

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If You were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.

white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'

THINGS TO DO WHEN IN WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5 minute
intervals.

3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on hold.

5. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the houseware and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. While handling knives in the kitchen ware department ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.

10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout,
"PICK ME! PICK ME!!"

11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

12. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly..."Hey! We're out of
toilet paper in here!"

13. Go into the Butchers Department and start rubbing steaks up and down on your face saying " oooohhhh that feels so good"

14. Go to the fruit and veg department - get two bananas' and put one in each pocket - walk around the store calling everyone pilgrim in your best John wayne accent sporadically whipping them out of you pocket - making gun
noises and then slumping to the floor as if you've just taken several
bullets to the chest.

15. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a
nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and enjoy the film. (soap operas and kleenex are optional)

16. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them skyward whilst screaming" Fly my little ones, fly and be free!"

17. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"

female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this...
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

GIRLS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
GUYS REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen

oOoOoOoOoOoOooOoOoOoOoOoOo

Stop the Pairing Wars!
By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.
You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.
You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings.You shalt avoid them if you hate them.
You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.
You shalt paste this in your profile.

oOoOoOoOoOoOooOoOoOoOoOoOo

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

(¸.•´ (¸.•´~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.