Alright, finally decided t'set up me own spankin' new profile...

An' have found meself at a total loss of me usual sparklin' genius. This is a terrible, terrible thing. What t'say? I'm an eighteen year old girl livin' in Perth, Western Australia. I mean, wha' else is there? I could tell ye how many times I've seen Pirates Of The Caribbean (36, jus' t'set the record straight), where I work (Hungry Jack's Belmont if ye ever wanted t'pop by), what I'm studing (Diploma in Beauty an' it's costin' me a leg and an arm t'do it), the state of me relationship with m'boyfriend (non existant, ha) an' the list goes on an' on. But none of ye really want t'know any of tha'. Do ye? Didn't think so.

But now we've cleared up tha fact tha' ye don't, me profile is lookin' awfully plain an' miniscule... So I decided t'let some good friends of mine do the talkin' for me. I know, I know, i'm a lazy git (in me own words, might I add), but these are some funny people!

I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face.-Johnny Depp

I had a huge crush on Olga Korbut, the gymnast. The only other person was Cliff Richard, which is embarrassing - it means that when I was seven I had bad taste and was presumably gay. -Hugh Grant

Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5000 Gideon Bibles. -Zsa Zsa Gabor

If you have to be in a soap opera try not to get the worst role. -Judy Garland

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others. -Audrey Hepburn

How can you not like Britney Spears? -Lindsay Lohan

I'm like a monkey when I get tickled - woo-hoo! -Tara Reid

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest. -Rowan Atkinson

I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that's good taste. -Lucille Ball

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. -George Burns

In Pakistan anti-American protesters set a Kentucky Fried chicken restaurant on fire. The protesters mistakenly thought they were attacking high-ranking U.S. military official Colonel Sanders. -Jimmy Fallon

At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment. -Tina Fey

This is what he said. He met with unnamed people, from unspecified companies, for an indeterminate amount of time at an undisclosed location. Thank God he cleared that up. I'm ready to move on. -Jay Leno

Did you just call him a feathered boob?-Myself... (I have bad hearin' sometimes...)

Feel enlightened? Aye, me too.