SilverCyanide - AgCN

A beautiful poison.

Icon not by me.

So apparently FF.net hates formatting in both straight and centered; as such, all formatting in this profile has been changed to centered. Just so ya know. (Or not? I dunno... O_o)

As of 10/1/09 - I'm on the f-list of 101 members!! :O Thank you all, I love you so much. :)

General disclaimer: I don't own any characters from any show/book/manga/etc. that somebody else owns. Mainly because... they own it. Aside from plotlines and original characters, nothing is mine. Don't bother attempting to sue, I've got nothing but my keyboard and this profile. (Because, sad as it sounds, this is pretty much my life. So... I'd like to keep it, thanks. :))

Join the Prince of Tennis Fanfiction.net LiveJournal community! and add me as a friend on livejournal! (Fics may be posted there, in general stuff that is against site guidelines here.)

5/30/09 - I am now SilverCyanide! Feedback?

Hello, and welcome to the profile of SilverCyanide, formerly known as KiriharaAkaya (the author, of course, not the character) a.k.a. Mistress of the Abhorrently Long Author's Notes.

This authoress has two (plus one) years of Prince of Tennis Experience!

She is also a member of U.A.B.E. - United Against Bad Endings. Said organization is a group of people who realize they have no idea how to end their fics, ever, and they really need to work on it. It's really more of a support group. And it currently has two members. XD

Feel free to make yourself at home.

My name is Gabrielle. My real life friends call me Gabi.

My fanfiction friends call me SC (or KA - the transition is being made) which is, as you might have guessed, short for SilverCyanide (previously KiriharaAkaya), my pen name.

I am female if you could not figure it out. I am also a sophmore in high school as of August 2009, and the only reason I say this is because I often wonder these things myself when I visit other profiles.

I am currently fifteen (15) years of age. My birthday is February 9th, 1994, and I was born in the year of the Rooster. I live in Illinois, though my exact location at the moment is the TV.com: Bones forum. If you're a Bones fan, make sure you sign up!

I enjoy many things. I swim competitively, year-round. I also play the violin. I love to read, especially mystery, fantasy, and fiction. I am a certified Potter!addict I love anime, manga, j-dramas, and such. I am also a text messaging fanatic. Well, not fanatic, but I enjoy texting more than talking. If you happen to like to text as well, and want to message me, just ask. If I know you, getting my cell number from me is easy. Also, if you are one of those people who wonder about religion, I am a Pastafarian.

I love to write. Why else would I be on this site? I specialize in Prince of Tennis, in particular Rikkai. I am a proud Rikkaithor. I also happen to be a stickler for grammar. If you find any spelling or grammar mistakes in this profile, please PM me with them. If you are right, you'll get to request a fic or simply have a chapter dedicated to you. Because of my love to write, I hope to end up in a career track that involves writing. My thoughts of careers have changed many times, ranging from poet to novelist, and currently I'm not quite sure where I'm going.

Some more random, useless information about me: I am a coffee drinker. Also, I have many notebooks which are held together with duct tape, post-it notes, and paper clips. On occasion, I am tempted to take pictures of where I work out things, and of these notebooks, and post them. We'll see if that ever happens. Also, I can sing all of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire."

I will write het, shounen-ai, yaoi, shojo-ai, limes, humor, serious fics, and more. (As of 3/20/09 - add lemons to the mix! Haha, we'll see if they ever get posted.)

I will read well-written het, shounen-ai, yaoi, shojo-ai, yuri, limes, lemons, other citrus fruit, and most categories.

I will not read stories with horrible grammar, horrible Mary-Sues, and such. I hope I will not be writing them either.

If you read my stories, please review. I hate to sound like a review whore, but you have to admit that they’re nice, neh? By reviewing I find out what you liked and what you disliked. Also, constructive criticism is encouraged.

If, for any reason you need to contact me, my information is below. It is listed from most used to least used.

PM (Private Message) on this site. This can be done by clicking here or by scrolling up and clicking on "Send Message".

E-mail me at kiriharaakayaismine@yahoo.com

Facebook me by PMing and asking. Or by giving me yours first.

Y!M me at kiriharaakayaismine

LJ (Live Journal) me at http://shining_chaos.livejournal.com

Myspace me at http://www.myspace.com/ontopofspagetti/

AIM me at hpanimemangalove

View my site at http://seachimps-and-spam.webs.com

MSN me at sponge.bob.swimmer@hotmail.com

Now that I have given you my contact information there is just a bit more to show you before we move on. And yes, they are copy ‘n paste things. You may skip them if you like.

Rikkaithor's UNITE! If you're a proud Rikkaithor, put this in your profile.

If you honestly believe that Middle Earth exists (or did exist at one point), put this in your profile.

If you like only yaoi/yuri but are not hypocritical and think that yuri/yaoi is "absolutely disgusting and shouldn't be allowed," put this in your profile.

If you've realized that it is impossible to argue with yourself and lose, because one side of you will always win, put this in your profile.

If you're proud to be part of the fandom that started 30_kisses on LJ, put this in your profile.

If you're a vegetarian/vegan and proud, put this in your profile.

If you know that there is no way ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried pot, just because it's not that easy to obtain, put this in your profile.

I pee in pools. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, put this in your profile.

If your favorite pairings are the ones that are rarely written, rarely thought of, hated, or given a "WTF?!" by others, and you're PROUD of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are unconcerned by the dismal state of their education, or the fact that their fanfiction is raping the English language. If you're part of the five percent of fanfiction writers/readers who do care about such things, cut and paste this, and then leave reviews for those poor souls who know not what they are doing.

If you compulsively edit other people's work, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to cry when you see punctuation marks abused (and when you can't edit them), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that Jonas Brothers fanfiction is against the rules, and will report stories featuring them, copy and paste this into your profile.

That is it for copy ‘n paste things. Now, a random fact (that will be updated occasionally), my currently featured quote, and my currently featured image.

Featured Fanfic

Previously featured: Fine by Yuki Scorpio

Featured: Dumbeldore's Army and the Year of Darkness by Thanfiction

This fic is Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows from Neville's point of view. It follows him through the entire year seven at Hogwarts, leading the D.A. and dealing with life. It is highly introspective on that life, and it fleshes out characters nobody uses (Terry Boot, Michael Corner, Ernie Macmillan, Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, etc.). It also deals with the fact that the war had to have killed more than the characters listed. This fanfic, in my opinion, rivals the seventh book of Harry Potter, if it's not already better than it.

There is also an entire canon universe surrounding it, including various side-fics and two full-length sequels. This is a world that will get you hooked and keep your mind spinning for ages to come. So go read it!

Have a suggestion for a featured fic? Contact me!

Random Fact:

More than 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people.

Random Fact About Me:

I bite off more than I can chew, but I refuse to spit it out. Haha. Hence the half finished fics and the epic list of stories waiting to be written and posted. Oh joy.

Featured Quote:

Hero's just die. Hero complexes die hard.

Featured Image:

Proper grammar is insanely important.

Featured Video:

Yes, that's right. The second animutation ever. The most amazing thing ever. The thing that will probably change your life in one way or another, and the thing that can explain the mindset of psychopaths, sugar high kindergartners, sugar high FANFIC writers, and every single stoner out there: Hyakugojyuuichi!!

We interrupt this profile for an important message to one who has passed on. He will be remembered dearly.

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

A moment of silence.

Favorites

Titles that have been italicized have been finished.

~(Anime)~

Tennis no Oujisama/Prince of Tennis, Fruits Basket, Ouran High School Host Club, Death Note, FMA, Tsubasa Chronicles, Naruto, Kita-he Diamond Dust Drops/Diamond Drops, Kono Minikukumo Utsukushii Seikai/This Ugly Yet Beautiful World, D.N. Angel, Mindori Days, BLEACH, Princess Tutu, Trinity Blood, Princess Princess, and The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

~(Manga)~

Tennis no Ohjiama/Prince of Tennis, Fruits Basket, Ultra Maniac, Ouran High School Host Club, Naruto, D.N. Angel, Mindori Days, Pita-Ten, Gravitation, Kare-Kano, BLEACH, Chibi Vampire, Trinity Blood, Fullmetal Alchemist, Godchild, Penguin Revolution, and Hana Kimi.

~(Books)~

Many, but the current favorites are The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Harry Potter (all), The Kite Runner, The Book Thief, 100 Things You’re Not Supposed to Know, Kathy Reichs' "Temperance Brennan" novels, and The Anybodies. Also: The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings trilogy. (Currently in the process of being read.)

~(TV Shows)~

Bones, House M.D., Law and Order: SVU (CI just doesn't hold my interest, if only because I enjoy SVU's characters), Myth Busters, America’s Next Top Model, Jon and Kate Plus Eight, and some others.

~(Movies)~

Pleasantville. It's been out for nearly ten years now, and it's still my favorite movie. Besides that, Men in Black and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Yes, those are my top three favorite movies of all time. And they haven't changed. Like... ever.

~(Music)~

Bowling for Soup, Simple Plan, Relient K, and Billy Joel are my top four artists. Not counting all of my wonderful PoT music. Plus, select songs by all sorts of people.

That concludes my section about my favorite series’. Next up: my favorite characters.

Characters

~(Bones)~ Zack (a.k.a. Eric), Hodgins (a.k.a. T.J.), and Angela (a.k.a. Michaela)

~(Harry Potter)~ Ginny, Sirius, Gred and Forge, and Luna.

~(Prince of Tennis)~ Akaya, Yukimura, Bunta, Renji, Haru, Yagyuu, and the rest of Rikkai. Sengoku and Muromachi! (It has been brought to my attention recently that I am actually quite a Yamabuki fan... haha!) Eiji, Kachiroh, Yuuta, and Hiyoshi as well. Jiroh is fun to work with, as are Gakuto and Oshitari. In all honestly, I love most of the characters, even Mizuki from time to time. It just depends on the moment.

~(Lord of the Rings)~ Merry, Pippin, Legolas, Gimli.

~(Fruits Basket)~ Momiji. And Haru.

~(Ouran)~ Nekozawa.

~(Princess TuTu)~ Uzura and Fakir.

~(Death Note)~ L, Near, and a few others.

~(FMA)~ Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Maes Hughes, and a few others.

~(Trinity Blood)~ Abel, Seth, and Ion.

~(Haruhi Suzumiya)~ Haruhi

We interrupt this profile for a special oath.

The Shippers Oath

I will hold

True to my pairing

I swear this oath ain't herring

And sometimes to flame another shippers ship

But only if they get me first

Otherwise... LEAVE THEM ALONE

Each shipper to their pairing

Each pairing to their show

May there be many fanfics

So all the world will know

Your pairing is the best

All shippers will try to prove their pair

And if they're motivated

They'll pluck "evidence" from the air

And through all of this

Bold and blue

I am a shipper

Always true

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.
You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.
You shalt have your opinions, but shalt not insult pairings.You shalt avoid them if you hate them.
You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.
You shalt paste this in your profile.

My Ships (first is seme, second is uke)

Harry Potter: Terry Boot/Michael Corner (There is almost NONE of them, and I haven't really found a REAL slash piece with them! I blame DAYD though...), Blaise/Ginny (like no other. I love these two.), Neville/Ginny (though his ending was nice), Rolf/Luna (of course! Haha!), Ron/Luna, and Percy/Penelope to name a few.

Bones: HodginsAngela (HA, Hodgela) - NO, THEY DIDN'T BREAK UP! IT'S A LIE! THAT NEVER EVER EVER HAPPENED! -denies- But she DID get divorced, haha!, BoothBrennan (BB, SeeBones, Semperance), ZackOC

Lord of the Rings: (my current obsessive pairing) Legolas/Gimli (Though technically I like them flipped, this just sounds better.)

PoT: SO many. But I'll just list a few:

Uke Pair (YukimuraKirihara) my OTP. Name by me!

YanagiMarui (after a dream I had)

Platinum Pair (YagyuuNiou -- or vice-versa!)

YukimuraKiriharaSanada (a.k.a. The Rikkai Threesome)

NiouKiri (because some of this is incredibly hott)

YukiNiou

AkutsuDan (because, come on. Yes.)

GakutoHiyoshi

OshitariGakutoHiyoshi (a.k.a. The Hyotei Threesome)

Dirty Pair (OshitariGakuto)

TezukaRyomaFuji (on occasion. a.k.a the Seigaku Threesome)

YagyuuKaidoh

Sweet Pair (MaruiJiroh)

Silver Pair (because they're absolute fluff. And Choutarou is SO Seme).

Golden Pair (because they're the most canon in the entire series).

Tango Pair (AtobeSanada)

AkioShizuka (also read as OC/OC...)

And MANY MORE

Fruits Basket: KyoYuki or YukiKyo, Mabudaichi Trio, MomijiTohru, HiroKisa, and some others.

Princess TuTu: FakirMytho. Kraehe(Rue)Ahiru(Duck) (Yes, that's Yuri.)

FMA: RoyEd ("He's got a lover half his age... but we're not supposed to talk about that.")

Story Status

PoT - 365+ chapters - Every Day's a Holiday - Celebrating every single holiday. All year long. From Christmas to Lief Erikson Day to National Tooth Fairy Day to basically everything you can think of. This fic will hopefully be written as a side project over the course of 2008 and posted the first day in 2009. It will have one chapter per day, but each chapter will have multiple drabbles of all shapes, sizes, genres, ratings, and characters. 2009's year-long fic.

PoT - Undetermined Number of Chapters - Murphy's Law - Because everything that can go wrong, will, especially if you're part of Rikkai.

PoT - Chapter fic - Access Denied - In the year 2027, Japan has drastically changed - and at the hands of some of our favorite characters. But will Kirihara and Gakuto be able to overcome past events and form the best team Captain Saeki has before it's too late to save them - or anyone else - from Niou's evil plans? (Idea off of a meme thing with characters. Scrounge my LJ and when you see it you'll know it.)

PoT - INSANELY LONG Oneshot - About Kirihara - A fic detailing the entire relationship of Yukimura Seiichi and Kirihara Akaya from Yukimura's point of view, beginning the first time he ever stole a glance at the boy back in the fifth grade.

PoT - Oneshots - Request Fics - All titled differently - Just a note here saying that request fics for review marks are being started! More specifics on each one when I get into them! :)

PoT - Many Chapters - (Currently Untitled) - An extremely deadly disease that manifests itself as a common cold appears. Suddenly, the world as they once knew it was turned upside down. (And I can say that about half of the cast will be killed off...) If you've got any idea at ALL about a name for this disease, PLEASE TELL! Because I can't think of anything.

PoT - challenge - Oneshot - (Currently Untitled) - This is actually more of a bizarre challenge idea I've come up with called "Chain Fics". It's inspired by chain letters and messages. The first person (moi) writes a fic off of a prompt. Then at the bottom I leave another prompt and issue a challenge for everyone who sees it (and wishes to participate) to write one. They do that and then leave their own prompt. This goes so on and so forth, just to see how far we can get and how great our outreach is on the fanfiction world! :O Question is, would anybody be interested in actually doing that? Message me with feedback! Thanks!

PoT - Four chapters - Challenge Fic - Series Fic - Royal Flush - Real drabbles (as in, 100 words exactly) about the elected pairings. For the challenge over at POT Stands for Pointless but Original Talking. Diamonds posted.

PoT - Oneshot - Currently Untitled - follow-up to chapter 65 of Happy Birthday (Wakato Hiroshi's chapter). Kajimoto has been, and always will be, with Wakato through everything. (Includes mentions of schizo-audio hallucinations, multiple personality disorder, anxiety disorders, and maybe more.)

PoT - Multi-chapter - Currently Untitled - Out of all of the things that made Fuji Syusuke unique, the most bizarre was the one he had never revealed. (Synesthesia fic.)

PoT - Undetermined Number of Chapters - Pot Isn't Just an Acronym - In which there are many, many tennis players at many, many therapy sessions. Chapters one through four posted.

PoT - Chapter fic - Stranger than Fiction - She's new. Or is she? Why does she keep coming on to Eiji? Why does Fuji suddenly despise her? Yes, an OC fic. AU.

PoT - Chapter fic - Currently Untitled - There's a reason Echizen Ryoma always wears his cap. A reason that he'll go to any length to hide. (Trich fic.)

Bones - Oneshot - All My Fault (title subject to change) - The team reflects on what Zack did and how they could have prevented it. Post Pain in the Heart.

Bones - Oneshot - A Lot of Heart (title subject to change) - Booth believes there are two kinds of people in the world: brain people and heart people. Bones, however, is both.

Bones - Oneshot - Currently Untitled - Boy meets girl. Boy gets stupid. Boy and girl live stupidly ever after. That was how most of his relationships went. Yet, in this particular one, he found himself becoming smarter by the day. Summary inspired by Wilson in House, M.D. in the episode "Ugly" where he says "Boy meets girl. Boy gets stupid. Boy and girl live stupidly ever after."

PoT - 30 Chapters - Currently Untitled - My thirty kisses drabbles for the 30_Kisses community over on LJ. Pairing is Uke. Pairing dropped. Will be started up again when I've got time. Sorry!

Bones - Many Chapters - Possibly collab - Currently Untitled - While visiting the zoo on a family trip, a body is discovered. (By Parker... a tiger ate him...) This leads to another classic Bones case with, of course, BB (not major) and Hodgela.

PoT - Chapter fic - No Such Thing as a Coincidence - Sanada meets a girl. She likes him. He doesn't like her. Uh-oh.

Princess Tutu - Oneshot - Once Again - FakirMytho fic, set years and years after the anime. Written for a friend's birthday.

PoT - Zutto Soba Ni (Always by your Side) - Chapter 6 is about half way done.

PoT - Shut Down Day - It'll be a twoshot (if such a thing exists) in honor of Shut Down Day 2007 (March 24th). SDD is the day were you're supposed to turn off your compy for an entire day. I plan on spending my SDD writing the second chapter of this. It became a big mass of stuff and is still being written and revised.

PoT - In Which Tennis Boys Have Children - Chapter three FINISHED! ZOMG! It's Seigaku II (different pairings and kids) and still needs to be typed and sent to Fakir'sHair. I'm also planning on re-formatting one and two to something that doesn't go against the terms of service. -nods- And I lost chapter three somewhere. Sorry!

Twilight - Multi-chapter (probably around ten) - Currently Untitled - She was that "new girl". He was that dazzling, mysterious boy. That was how it had began. That was how it would end.

HP - Oneshot - To Be Complete - George angsts over Fred's death.

PoT/HP - Crossover - Oneshot - (Currently Untitled) - Sengoku Kiyosumi goes back to England after three years in Japan, and finds everything after the war much different than it was before.

Princess Tutu - Underwear (title subject to change) - FakirMytho. Mytho finally asks Fakir where all of his underwear are.

PoT - Atobe!Angst (currently untitled) - about 1/4th of the way through.

PoT - Imaginary - About 1/4th of the way done. It involves Ryoma and his imaginary twin sister.

PoT - The Things I Know About You - Title from "Ten Things I Hate About You" this will be 2010's year-long fic. Based on the 20-facts challenge on LJ, but adjusted for the year number, these are ten things about every character (anime-based, quite possibly manga/OVA based if I can get my lazy arse up and actually watch/read. -shot-). All will have small accompanying explanations/drabbles. Will contain everything and then some.

Hello, and welcome to the fan corner. This is my little corner of wacky fanness here. It's a place where anything for any of my fandoms goes. You have a question? Submit it. You have a topic that you want my opinion on? Tell me.

This sections features everything. Including my featured fan rant (which may be by myself or somebody else - so if you've got a fan rant, send it in!) This section also features... SPOILERS. So proceed with caution.

Featured Fan Rant

Topic: fem!Ryo

Okay, I get the appeal for a lot of people. It's got Echizen Ryoma, everybody's (erm... well, quite a lot of people, though I can't stand him... her...) favorite protagonist in it, but because it's not two guys a lot of non-slash fans feel more comfortable with it. I don't have a problem, if that's your personal preference.

I do, however, have a problem with the epic amounts of OOC involved. The premise of these fics - most of the time - is that Echizen has always been a girl -- INCLUDING during canon. This means that Echizen's canon personality is still the same. It has not changed. S/he is not suddenly much happier or nicer or more touchy-feel-y or lovey-dovey or -blush-stutter-awwww-.

If you're going to write something so unconventional, at least write it well. I'm just waiting for the day I see one that is written properly.

Quotes:

--Note: a 100 is four lengths of a short course (non-olympic-sized) pool. A 100 IM (Individual Medley) is a 25 (one length) of each stroke--

"We're not doing 100 IMs, we're just doing 25s of each stroke without breaks in between." -Jacob Ayers, at swim practice.

-chatting on the MLIA-based forum-

ThatsInCanada: my french teacher was taking her dog for a walk once, and she saw a kid running around with a darth vader mask on.

MLIBelowA: is there more to that story or is my chatbox failing me?

ThatsinCanada: i was going to add more but i kind of forgot the rest...

-Discussing all the things she needs to do for college, including assemble a portfolio. Note: this is sophomore (09-10) year. Also note: She's been talking about this major for a few months now.-

Susan: what do you need a portfolio for?

Gabi: Applying to colleges.

Susan: ...which needs to be assembled by junior year?...

Gabi: um... yes?

Susan: ...Unless you're going for creative writing, your portfolio need not be touched for at least another year..

Gabi: ...memo!fail. I am going for Creative Writing.

Hero's just die. Hero complexes die hard.

My pants imply I am not a nudist. ~James at NIU Creative Writing Camp, 2009

Rambling = Fun. Fun = Good. Therefore, in my logic, Rambling = Good. ~GreenberryRhythm (in our epic PMs of epic.)

"Your doubles players are sleeping together?" Dan yelped.

"Yours aren't?" Yukimura asked, amused. "No wonder you lost so badly."

-20 Things Meme Ryoma by BritKit.

Emily Deschanel: When I was little, my mom let me come to the set of a movie she was making. They had doughnuts there. That's when I decided I was going to become an actress. Free doughnuts? That just did it for me.

T.J. Thyne: For me, season two will always be the season where, I fell madly, deeply, and passionately in love with Michaela - with Angela. (laughs nervously and embarrassedly) With Angela - I meant Angela. Woooho, it's hot in here. Ahaha. Mhmmm. Next question.

Harry (coroner): A crushed larynx is fatal, therefore it results in death.

Special Agent Frost: Booth pulled me out of an important lunch. (Hodgins turns) It took months to set up that meeting. (Hodgins stares at boobs) This better be good Booth.
Booth: She'll be working with you Hodgins.
Hodgins: Yes please. Wha-no. Um... hm? Ja- Hodgins, three, doctor. More - okay?
Frost: I beg your pardon?
Hodgins: It's-
Angela: He's Dr. Jack Hodgins. Angela Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions - and him.

Stacy Goodyear: Dr. Brennan, your book has sold over 300,000 copies. How do you juggle twin careers as a bestselling author and crime fighting scientist?
Brennan: I do one, then the other.

Zack: What's with Goodman and Hodgins?
Angela: They're guys. They should just lay them out on the table and measure.
Zack: Lay what out on the table and measure?

Pickering: Mr. Addy, I require your full attention.

Zack: No, you don't. But I'll give it to you.

Pickering: What I need to do here is establish that you are not a threat to the security of this country.

Zack: I'm getting a degree in Forensic Anthropology, I'm halfway through another in Engineering; what are you afraid I'll do, build a race of criminal robots who'll destroy the Earth?

Pickering: Do you have that kind of fantasy often?

Zack: Very often.

Pickering: Does it concern you that such adolescent thoughts are a sign of emotional retardation?

Zack: I have been told. I'm working on it.

Pickering: And can you understand why that concerns us?

Zack: Not really.

Booth: When cops get stuck we bring in people like you, ya know? Squints. You know, squint at things.
Temperance: Oh you mean people with very high IQs and basic reasoning skills?

Bones: Why would a gang leader cooperate?
Booth: I'm gonna ask him really, really nicely, Bones.
Bones: You know that book I'm reading about getting along with your co-workers? It says that sarcasm is never helpful. I can lend it to you if you want.

Goodman: That is not a tuxedo, Dr. Hodgins.

Hodgins: I am not going, Dr. Goodman.

Goodman: You are going. (Places name tag in Hodgins' pocket.) When we arrive the donors will all be wearing name tags.

Zack: What do we talk about?

Goodman: Your work, of course.

Angela: Zack's work consists of removing flesh from corpses. Hodgins dissects bugs that have been eating people's eyeballs.

Hodgins: Leave me out of it - I am not going.

Goodman: And how do you see your job?

Angela: (sighs) I draw death masks.

Dr. Daniel Goodman: Is that really how you see it?

Angela: Don't you?

Goodman: You are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. You discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. You give victims back their faces - their identities. You remind us all of why we're here in the first place - because we treasure human life.

Angela: (Hugs Goodman)

Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.

Brennan: What happened?

Zack: Apparently all Angela needed was to hear her job description in a deep African-American tone.

Zack: (After figuring something or other out) (sticks out fist to bump)
Brennan: (stares)
Zack: You're... supposed to bump my first with yours.
Brennan: Why?
Zack: (shrugs) I'm told it's a widely acknowledged gesture of mutual success.
Angela: I love it when you two impersonate earthlings.

Booth: Are you trying to blackmail a federal agent?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: I don't like it.
Brennan: I'm fairly certain you're not supposed to.

Hodgins (about chinese inscription): So, what's it say?
Angela: It says "What make foolish man think I speak Chinese?"
Hodgins: I thought you were half Chinese.
Angela: And I think you're half Swedish. Let's hear some Swedish.

Zack: (After figuring out what some numbers mean in a case) I was out taking the pictures you needed and there was a sign and numbers on the ground and I thought, "Why assume a quasi-randomly generated function-oriented paradigm-"
Hodgins: Zack! When you talk that fast, human beings can't hear you.

Hodgins: (While beetle racing) I demand another beetle. Jeff's got a groin pull.
Zack: Arthropods do not possess groins. Pay up.

(Yes, we DID have this conversation. Yes, we are strange. Too bad.)

HannaH and Gabi: (discussing a possible Bones fanfic in which a zoo keeper gets eaten by a tiger)

Gabi: So, maybe the tiger was acting funny and like, I don't know, maybe it was high or something-

HannaH: How would a tiger get high?

Gabi: Well if the zoo keeper was high...

HannaH: Does that work?

Gabi: Let's test it!

HannaH: ...how?

Gabi: We'll go find a depressed hobo and give him a gun and tell him to come find us when he's ready and we'll give him drugs and let him kill himself and then cut him up and feed him to a tiger!

HannaH: What if he shoots us?

Gabi: We'll throw him the gun from a helicopter!

HannaH: Haha, and use a megaphone! But still...

Gabi: Well, fine, we'll give him drugs and make him OD and THEN we'll cut him up and feed him to a tiger.

HannaH: How do we get him to agree?

Gabi: Well, he probably feels like he has no purpose. So we tell him that he can donate himself to the cause of research-

HannaH: For a fanfic?

Gabi: Yup.

HannaH: Mkay. Where do we get a hobo and drugs?

Gabi: Emalee. (Who is this girl who was in my French class. This year, she held straight A's and D's. XD)

(If you read all of that, kudos to you. Don't you just love my logic?)

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
-(P. J. O'Rourke)-

Zack (wearing a petrified look): (about his flesh-eating beetles) You can't kill them, they have names.

Hodgins: He's afraid of polka dots, but screaming in agony is just another interesting phenomenon.

Brennan: (about Booth who is standing in the bath, naked, yelling at her) Your lack of Puritan modesty is refreshing.

Brennan: Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?

Booth: Hot tub + cold beer = warm beer. Hat = solution.

Bayo: Most people didn't use mascara a lot before it was invented. (Keep in mind, this is the SMARTEST KID IN OUR GRADE. He even got in to IMSA as a freshman.)

Gabi, HannaH, and Nicole: (browsing through KHII Orgy XIII Jersey T-shirts)

Gabi and Nicole: I don't know. Maaaybe. But they're twenty dollars a piece. Kind of expensive.

Axel Cosplayer Co-Running the Stall: (holds up a sign that says 'free fanservice with purchase'.)

Gabi: (pulls out twenty bucks) I'm buying.

Gabi: (looking through a book of art in Artists Alley. Comes to the part where it says "Caution, Yaoi Ahead. 13+") Oooh! -continues looking-

Lady Running Stall: Haha, everybody who looks at that either stops there or says "Oooh!".

Guy at ACen trying to get us to buy his manga: Yeah, volume two has more sex and volume three has more violence. Which do you like better?

Gabi (who was fourteen): BOTH!

Lisa Cuddy: (reading House's performance report outloud) (...) A large portion of your comments are racist or sexist...

Gregory House: That top makes you look like an Afghani prostitute.

Gregory House to Lisa Cuddy: By the way, I can tell when my Vicodin aren't Vicodin. Can you tell when your birth controls pills aren't birth control pills?

Gregory House: If her DNA was off by one percentage point she'd be a dolphin.

Mrs. Schutz (the 55 year old English teacher, who rules): Americans take better care of their cars than their bodies.

Laura: That's because we need our cars to drive us to McDonalds!

Mr. Hoffman (Tech Teacher): (While the class is spray painting their wooden cars) Some kids thought it would be funny if they spray painted my walls using the primer paint. They thought it would be "ghetto". News flash: You guys are not "ghetto". You live in (County Omitted, but it's basically rich, white, and Christian, so I think you get the idea) for Pete's sake... that is not the "ghetto".

Nicole: Ow... why does my back hurt?
Nicole's Mom: Because you have a bad attitude about long term service projects. If you continue to have a bad attitude about your religion, God will smite you and then other parts of your body will hurt.
Nicole: ...I think it's from gymnastics, but I'll keep that in mind.

Rules for life... Rule #7
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are.

We're all the same brand of crazy.
~(Kathyrn Harper)~

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
~(P. J. O'Rourke)~

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
~(P. J. O'Rourke)~

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
~(Twain)~

(While talking about how most people who are left handed started out as twins and the other baby was absorbed)

Sweet Obsidian Rain: WAIT. SO THERE COULD HAVE BEEN TWO SHIROTAS?!

Proper punctuation is the difference between a man's laughter and a manslaughter.

"Citizens of Anvilania, I stand before you, because if I was behind you, you couldn't see me!"~Yakko

(Talking about Echizen being a Gary Stu and how and why he keeps beating everybody)

Dudly: Ryoma kicked their arses by... unlocking doors, I reckon.

Daisy-chan: They forgot to lock the gate, I bet. XD!

JoelSleeping: Any activities on me that involves the usage of a MOUTH is prohibited!

“I think,” (Yukimura) said, very calmly, “that we should change the subject to something a little bit less mortifying than having my hypothetical sex life discussed in the school cafeteria.” ~Merry Rikkai Christmas by Sandy

"Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite." ~C.S. Lewis

"A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." ~Thomas Mann

"Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try." ~Fran Lebowitz

"Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good." ~Samuel Johnson

"Loafing is the most productive part of a writer's life." ~James Norman Hall

"A story should have a beginning, a middle, and an end... but not necessarily in that order." ~Jean Luc Godard

"Most editors are failed writers - but so are most writers. " ~T.S. Eliot

"The only cure for writer's block is insomnia." ~Merit Antares

"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one." ~Baltasar Gracián

"Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum." ~Graycie Harmon

"Proofread carefully to see if you any words out." ~Author Unknown

"A metaphor is like a simile." ~Author Unknown

"The wastebasket is a writer's best friend." ~Isaac Bashevis Singer

“The first draft of anything is shit” ~ Ernest Hemingway

“There is no rule on how to write. Sometimes it comes easily and perfectly; sometimes it's like drilling rock and then blasting it out with charges.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” ~ E.L. Doctorow

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."

~Charles Schultz

"Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds."

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

"It is impossible to discourage the real writers - they don't give a damn what you say, they're going to write."

~Sinclair Lewis

"Fuck not with Fandom, for Fandom fucks back, and you can forget about the lube."

Mr. Kassel (science teacher): If you compress large amounts of carbon, it makes diamonds. That's why some people cremate family members and have them turned into diamonds.

Addison: So if we cremated an elephant could we make a really BIG diamond??

Anthony:(about the chemistry desk reference thinger) Does that book have the melting point of humans?

Mr. Kassel (science teacher): -headdesk-

Mrs. Schutz: ...The reader's reaction to both events.

Adam: Well, they obviously think that the killing of a cat is normal. I mean I kill my cat every day. What about you Suzanna?

Suzanna: Oh yeah, I kill my cat every day. I cut out it's eyes, too. I mean, who doesn't do that?

and if somebody's going to be a mary sue i'd rather it be niou fucking the brains out of KA than two boys writing poetry in the middle of "cumming into his beautiful face". ~L-chan

Guns don't kill people, shinigami notebooks that fall from the sky kill people.

After HannaH swats a hornet away from her face...

HannaH's cousin: You've just shunned a creature of God. A creature of heaven itself!
HannaH: Yeah, well the creature of hell just tried to eat my face!

Nicole: Oh! You should e-mail it to me, and then I'll type it up!

HannaH: How exactly are we going to get a Bunsen Burner into the Hyatt?
Nicole: Room service!

"OMFG my addicting curry won't load!" ~Daisy-chan

“If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.” ~Johannes Brahms.

Perhaps, thought Nanny, little green Elphaba chose her own sex, and her own color, and to hell with her parents. ~Wicked (the book)

"She appeared and, touched me." (Mytho)

"The same place where I touched you? Bitch!" (Fakir)

~Princess Tutu English dub bloopers

"Your tail is - NOT a tail - zura! Where's your tail -zura?" ~Uzura from Princess Tutu English dub.

That concludes my profile.

If you enjoyed your stay, please drop a message. The best way to do this is to follow the story titles below. The story titles written by me, of course, not by somebody else. After you follow a story title that sounds interesting (if any of them do) you should read the story. And if you enjoy the story, hate the story, have criticism for the story, or just want to say hi you should press the little blue review button. This is the absolute fastest way to get in touch with me.

Until we meet again.

Sincerely,

~SC