Icon not by me.
I am back from camp. However, I leave for vacation for Ohio soon. And then school starts. Oh noes!
Note: If you're looking for Honorifics 101, the story has been removed. Not by me, by the site (Not allowed: interactive, chat/script, real person, mst, and etc.). I suppose I should be thankful for this, because it means the admin are doing their job. Still, you'd think they'd take down the self insert, the fics containing real people, the ones with the horrible grammar and spelling, etc. first. Oh well. I probably won't be re-posting, just because it wasn't a huge fic for me. However, I am going to speed up the re-formatting and re-posting of In Which Tennis Boys Have Children so that that is not also removed.
Hello, and welcome to the profile of KiriharaAkaya (the author, of course, not the character) a.k.a. Mistress of the Abhorrently Long Author's Notes
Feel free to make yourself at home.
My name is Gabrielle Jean W. My real life friends call me Gabi.
My fanfiction friends call me KA which is, as you might have guessed, short for KiriharaAkaya, my pen name.
I am female if you could not figure it out. I am also a freshman in high school as of August, and the only reason I say this is because I often wonder these things myself when I visit other profiles.
I am currently fourteen years of age. My birthday is February 9th, 1994, and I was born in the year of the Rooster. I live in Illinois, though my exact location at the moment is the TV.com: Bones forum. If you're a Bones fan, make sure you sign up!
I enjoy many things. I swim competitively, year-round. I also play the violin. I love to read, especially mystery, fantasy, and fiction. I am a certified Potter!addict, and I am a member of HOL who goes by the name of Lillian “Lili” Wotters. I love anime, manga, j-dramas, and such. I am also a text messaging fanatic. Well, not fanatic, but I enjoy texting more than talking. If you happen to like to text as well, and want to message me, just ask. If I know you, getting my cell number from me is easy. Also, if you are one of those people who wonder about religion, I am a Pastafarian.
I love to write. Why else would I be on this site? I specialize in Prince of Tennis, in particular Rikkai. I am a proud Rikkaithor. I also happen to be a stickler for grammar. If you find any spelling or grammar mistakes in this profile, please PM me with them. If you are right, you'll get to request a fic or simply have a chapter dedicated to you. Because of my love to write, I hope to end up in a career track that involves writing. My thoughts of careers have changed many times, ranging from poet to novelist, but I currently want to be a screen writer for TV shows. My current occupation, however, is a swim instructor at my local pool.
Some more random, useless information about me: I am a coffee drinker. Unlike the rest of my age group, I will drink actual coffee. Two sugars, some milk, I'm good to go. Not that I don't love the flavored stuff, but I don't regard people who only drink that as coffee drinkers - I regard them as people who pose as coffee drinkers. Also, I have many notebooks which are held together with duct tape, post-it notes, and paper clips. If you were interested.
I will write het, shounen-ai, yaoi, shojo-ai, limes, humor, serious fics, and more.
I will read well-written het, shounen-ai, yaoi, shojo-ai, yuri, limes, lemons, other citrus fruit, and most categories.
I will not read stories with horrible grammar, horrible Mary-Sues, and such. I doubt I will be writing them, either.
If you read my stories, please review. I hate to sound like a review whore, but you have to admit that they’re nice, neh? By reviewing I find out what you liked and what you disliked. Also, constructive criticism is encouraged.
If, for any reason you need to contact me, my information is below. Is it listed from most used to least used.
PM (Private Message) on this site. This can be done by clicking here or by scrolling up and clicking on "Send Message".
E-mail me at kiriharaakayaismine@yahoo.com
LJ (Live Journal) me at http://ontopofspagetti.livejournal.com
Y!M me at kiriharaakayaismine
Myspace me at http://www.myspace.com/ontopofspagetti/
AIM me at hpanimemangalove
View my site at http://seachimps-and-spam.webs.com
MSN me at sponge.bob.swimmer@hotmail.com
Now that I have given you my contact information there is just a bit more to show you before we move on. And yes, they are copy ‘n paste things. You may skip them if you like.
Ninety-eight percent of fanfiction on ff.net is shit. Put this in your profile if your stories are part of that 98 percent and you really wish somebody had told you earlier.
Rikkaithor's UNITE! If you're a proud Rikkaithor, put this in your profile.
If you have ever argued with yourself, lost, and find nothing wrong with it, put this in your profile.
If you're proud to be part of the fandom that started 30_kisses on LJ, put this in your profile.
If you're a vegetarian/vegan and proud, put this in your profile.
If you know that there is no way ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried pot, just because it's not that easy to obtain, put this in your profile.
If you listen to and talk back to the voices in your head and find nothing wrong with it because you know they're there, put this in your profile.
I pee in pools. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, put this in your profile.
If your favorite pairings are the ones that are rarely written, rarely thought of, hated, or given a "WTF?!" by others, and you're PROUD of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are unconcerned by the dismal state of their education, or the fact that their fanfiction is raping the English language. If you're part of the five percent of fanfiction writers/readers who do care about such things, cut and paste this, and then leave reviews for those poor souls who know not what they do.
If you compulsively edit other people's work, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want to cry when you see punctuation marks abused (and when you can't edit them), copy and paste this into your profile.
That is it for copy ‘n paste things. Now, my fanfiction goals, a random fact (that will be updated occasionally), my currently featured quote, and my currently featured image.
My Fanfiction Goals - as pathetic as it seems, I have goals for my time spent here on fanfiction besides improving my writing. I figure I have until the end of high school - i.e., four more years. The ones that are in bold have been completed.
Be on the favorites list of 50 members.
(61) - Be on the favorites list of 100 members.
(43) - Be on the alerts list of 50 members.
Reach 50 reviews on one fic. Thanks to AkatsukiSinx666 for leaving the 50th review on Zutto Soba Ni.
Reach 100 reviews on one fic. Thanks to LiQuYu for leaving the 100th review on Happy Birthday.
Reach 150 reviews on one fic. Thanks to Kaidoh.Chan for leaving the 150th review on Happy Birthday.
Reach 200 reviews on one fic. Thanks to mikkimikka for leaving the 200th review on Happy Birthday.
Reach 250 reviews on one fic.
Complete a fic with more than ten chapters.
Write an OC!Adventure fic.
Write an OC!Romance fic.
Write an AU.
Write 30_Kisses. Started. Pairing: Uke Pair. Prompts finished: #1.
Write 100 prompted drabbles.
Write 365 daily drabbles.
Random Fact:
More than 2,500 left handed people a year are killed from using products made for right handed people.
Random Fact About Me:
I hate Twilight; therefore, I am writing a fanfic for it.
Featured Quote:
Booth: Reasons for wanting a gun?
Brennan: To shoot people.
Booth: Not a good reason.
Featured Image:
Proper grammar is insanely important.
We interrupt this profile for an important message to one who has passed on. He will be remembered dearly.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
A moment of silence.
Favorites
Titles that have been italicized have been finished.
~(Anime)~
Tennis no Oujisama/Prince of Tennis, Fruits Basket, Ouran High School Host Club, Death Note, FMA, Tsubasa Chronicles, Naruto, Kita-he Diamond Dust Drops/Diamond Drops, Kono Minikukumo Utsukushii Seikai/This Ugly Yet Beautiful World, D.N. Angel, Mindori Days, BLEACH, and Princess Tutu.
~(Manga)~
Tennis no Ohjiama/Prince of Tennis, Fruits Basket, Ultra Maniac, Ouran High School Host Club, Naruto, D.N. Angel, Mindori Days, Pita-Ten, Gravitation, Kare-Kano, BLEACH, and Chibi Vampire.
~(Books)~
Many, but the current favorites are The Perks of Being a Wallflower, TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY, Cut, Harry Potter, The Kite Runner, The Book Thief, 100 Things You’re Not Supposed to Know, and The Anybodies.
~(TV Shows)~
Bones, House M.D., Law and Order: SVU (CI just doesn't hold my interest, if only because I enjoy SVU's characters), Myth Busters, America’s Next Top Model, Jon and Kate Plus Eight, and some others.
~(Movies)~
Pleasantville. It's been out for nearly ten years now, and it's still my favorite movie. Besides that, Men in Black and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Yes, those are my top three favorite movies of all time. And they haven't changed. Like... ever.
~(Music)~
Bowling for Soup, Simple Plan, Relient K, and Billy Joel are my top four artists. Not counting all of my wonderful PoT music. Plus, select songs by all sorts of people. (Like, say, 7 Things by Miley Cyrus, even though I hate the rest of her stuff. Bring on the Wonder by Susan Enan. You and Me by Lifehouse... and, well... just random songs.)
That concludes my section about my favorite series’. Next up: my favorite characters.
Characters
~(Bones)~ Zack (a.k.a. Eric), Hodgins (a.k.a. T.J.), and Angela (a.k.a. Michaela)
~(Harry Potter)~ Ginny, Sirius, Gred and Forge, and Luna.
~(Prince of Tennis)~ Akaya,Yukimura, Bunta, Renji, Haru, Yagyuu, and the rest of Rikkai. Eiji, Kachiroh, Yuuta, and Hiyoshi as well. Jiroh is fun to work with, as are Gakuto and Oshitari. In all honestly, I love most of the characters, even Mizuki from time to time. It just depends on the moment.
~(Fruits Basket)~ Momiji. And Haru.
~(Ouran)~ Nekozawa.
~(Princess TuTu)~ Uzura and Fakir.
~(Death Note)~ L, Near, and a few others.
~(FMA)~ Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, Maes Hughes, and a few others.
We interrupt this profile for a special oath.
The Shippers Oath
I will hold
True to my pairing
I swear this oath ain't herring
And sometimes to flame another shippers ship
But only if they get me first
Otherwise... LEAVE THEM ALONE
Each shipper to their pairing
Each pairing to their show
May there be many fanfics
So all the world will know
Your pairing is the best
All shippers will try to prove their pair
And if they're motivated
They'll pluck "evidence" from the air
And through all of this blue
Bold and blue
I am a shipper
Always true
Stop the Pairing Wars!
By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.
You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.
You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings.You shalt avoid them if you hate them.
You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.
You shalt paste this in your profile.
My Ships (first is seme, second is uke)
Harry Potter: Neville/Ginny (though his ending was nice), Rolf/Luna (of course! Haha!), Ron/Luna, and Percy/Penelope to name a few.
Bones: HodginsAngela (HA, Hodgela) - THEY CANNOT BREAK UP, I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!, BoothBrennan (BB, SeeBones, Semperance), ZackOC
PoT: SO many. But I'll just list a few:
Uke Pair (YukimuraKirihara) my OTP. Name by me!
YukimuraKiriharaSanada (a.k.a. The Rikkai Threesome)
NiouKiri (because some of this is incredibly hott)
GakutoHiyoshi
OshitariGakutoHiyoshi (a.k.a. The Hyotei Threesome)
Dirty Pair (OshitariGakuto)
TezukaRyomaFuji (on occasion. a.k.a the Seigaku Threesome)
YagyuuKaidoh
YanagaMarui (after a dream I had)
Sweet Pair (MaruiJiroh)
Silver Pair (because they're absolute fluff. And Choutarou is SO Seme).
Golden Pair (because they're the most canon in the entire series).
Tango Pair (AtobeSanada)
And MANY MORE
Fruits Basket: KyoYuki or YukiKyo, Mabudaichi Trio, MomijiTohru, HiroKisa, and some others.
Princess TuTu: FakirMytho. Kraehe(Rue)Ahiru(Duck) (Yes, that's Yuri.)
FMA: RoyEd ("He's got a lover half his age... but we're not supposed to talk about that.")
Story Status
PoT - 67+ Chapter fic - Happy Birthday - A birthday fic for every character on a team/at a school in the original PoT anime, excluding the American team, because I don't know their birthdays. You know when they are? Great! Tell me!
PoT - 30 Chapters - Currently Untitled - My thirty kisses drabbles for the 30_Kisses community over on LJ. Pairing is Uke.
Bones - Oneshot - All My Fault (title subject to change) - The team reflects on what Zack did and how they could have prevented it. Post Pain in the Heart.
Bones - Oneshot - A Lot of Heart (title subject to change) - Going to be Laura's birthday fic. Booth believes there are two kinds of people in the world: brain people and heart people. Bones, however, is both.
Bones - Oneshot - Currently Untitled - Boy meets girl. Boy gets stupid. Boy and girl live stupidly ever after. That was how most of his relationships went. Yet, in this particular one, he found himself becoming smarter by the day. Maybe another birthday fic for Laura. Summary inspired by Wilson in House, M.D. in the episode "Ugly" where he says "Boy meets girl. Boy gets stupid. Boy and girl live stupidly ever after."
Twilight - Multi-chapter (probably around ten) - Currently Untitled - She was that "new girl". He was that dazzling, mysterious boy. That was how it had began. That was how it would end.
Bones - Oneshot - His Squints - It's a slow day around the FBI. Booth and some others discuss squints.
Bones - Many Chapters - Collab - Currently Untitled - While visiting the zoo on a family trip, a body is discovered. (By Parker... a tiger ate him...) This leads to another classic Bones case with, of course, BB (not major) and Hodgela.
PoT - Oneshot - A Million Hidden Meanings (title subject to change) - Valentine's day fic involving drabbles for multiple pairings, all ending in the word "yes". Partially inspired by When We Dream.
PoT - Four chapters - Challenge Fic - Series Fic - Royal Flush - Real drabbles (as in, 100 words exactly) about the elected pairings. For the challenge over at POT Stands for Pointless but Original Talking. Diamonds posted.
PoT - Undetermined Number of Chapters - Pot Isn't Just an Acronym - In which there are many, many tennis players at many, many therapy sessions. Chapters one through four posted.
PoT - Many Chapters - (Currently Untitled) - An extremely deadly disease that manifests itself as a common cold appears. Suddenly, the world as they once knew it was turned upside down. (And I can say that about half of the cast will be killed off...) If you've got any idea at ALL about a name for this disease, PLEASE TELL! Because I can't think of anything.
PoT - Oneshot - In His Shadow - Yuuta reads "Deathly Hallows" and can't help but know exactly what Aberforth felt like. (Inspired by page eighteen of the US version of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)
Princess Tutu - Oneshot - Once Again - FakirMytho fic, set years and years after the anime. Written for a friend's birthday.
PoT - Zutto Soba Ni (Always by your Side) - Chapter 6 is about half way done.
PoT - Shut Down Day - It'll be a twoshot (if such a thing exists) in honor of Shut Down Day 2007 (March 24th). SDD is the day were you're supposed to turn off your compy for an entire day. I plan on spending my SDD writing the second chapter of this. It became a big mass of stuff and is still being written and revised.
PoT - In Which Tennis Boys Have Children - Chapter three FINISHED! ZOMG! It's Seigaku II (different pairings and kids) and still needs to be typed and sent to Fakir'sHair. I'm also planning on re-formatting one and two to something that doesn't go against the terms of service. -nods-
PoT - 365+ chapters - Every Day's a Holiday - Celebrating every single holiday. All year long. From Christmas to Lief Erikson Day to National Tooth Fairy Day to basically everything you can think of. This fic will hopefully be written as a side project over the course of 2008 and posted the first day in 2009. It will have one chapter per day, but each chapter will have multiple drabbles of all shapes, sizes, genres, ratings, and characters.
HP - Oneshot - To Be Complete - George angsts over Fred's death.
PoT/HP - Crossover - Oneshot - (Currently Untitled) - Sengoku Kiyosumi goes back to England after three years in Japan, and finds everything after the war much different than it was before.
Princess Tutu - Underwear (title subject to change) - FakirMytho. Mytho finally asks Fakir where all of his underwear are.
PoT - Atobe!Angst (currently untitled) - about 1/4th of the way through.
PoT - Imaginary - About 1/4th of the way done. It involves Ryoma and his imaginary twin sister.
The Fan Corner
Hello, and welcome to the fan corner. This is my little corner of wacky fanness here. It's a place where anything for any of my fandoms goes. You have a question? Submit it. You have a topic that you want my opinion on? Tell me.
This sections features everything. Including my featured fan rant (which may be by myself or somebody else - so if you've got a fan rant, send it in!) This section also features... SPOILERS. So proceed with caution.
Featured Fan Rant
Author: Myself
Topic: Twilight
Warning. Spoilers for Breaking Dawn.
Right. You know what I hate? Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn - and the fangirls that come with them. Why? Because when you tell them that the series is crap (cliche plot, Sues and Stus, an abusive boyfriend romance that is portrayed as perfect? Not a good book) they fucking bite your head off. They don't listen. And, honestly, Meyer CANNOT write. I've read fanfiction for Twilight that was better than the actual series.
And, now to add to the list of reasons why she's a crappy author - SHE BROKE HER OWN CANON. I've read all of the books in the series (yet to borrow Breaking Dawn but I've read the spoilers and had a discussion with a friend) and have paid a lot of attention to the lexicon. Why? Because I'm writing a fanfic for some friends' birthdays. Anyway, I've talked to numerous people about this fic (i.e., well established authors within the fandom) and one of the things I first picked up was that vampires cannot have children. Meyer said so herself! In the Personal Correspondences she states that her vampires produce no bodily fluids. What does that mean? it means no sweat. No spit (their venom does at somewhat as saliva and tears, though). No mucus. No semen.
So how in the work can a vampire - who produces no sperm - create a child? It makes absolutely no sense. It's a HUGE plot hole.
So, the cliche plot, the Sues and Stus, the playlists, and the plot holes?
Yeah, you know what, I think I'll stick with fanfiction.
Quotes:
Emily Deschanel: When I was little, my mom let me come to the set of a movie she was making. They had doughnuts there. That's when I decided I was going to become an actress. Free doughnuts? That just did it for me.
T.J. Thyne: For me, season two will always be the season where, I fell madly, deeply, and passionately in love with Michaela - with Angela. (laughs nervously and embarrassedly) With Angela - I meant Angela. Woooho, it's hot in here. Ahaha. Mhmmm. Next question.
Harry (coroner): A crushed larynx is fatal, therefore it results in death.
Special Agent Frost: Booth pulled me out of an important lunch. (Hodgins turns) It took months to set up that meeting. (Hodgins stares at boobs) This better be good Booth.
Booth: She'll be working with you Hodgins.
Hodgins: Yes please. Wha-no. Um... hm? Ja- Hodgins, three, doctor. More - okay?
Frost: I beg your pardon?
Hodgins: It's-
Angela: He's Dr. Jack Hodgins. Angela Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions - and him.
Stacy Goodyear: Dr. Brennan, your book has sold over 300,000 copies. How do you juggle twin careers as a bestselling author and crime fighting scientist?
Brennan: I do one, then the other.
Zack: What's with Goodman and Hodgins?
Angela: They're guys. They should just lay them out on the table and measure.
Zack: Lay what out on the table and measure?
Zack: I was out taking the pictures you needed and there was a sign and numbers on the ground and I thought, "Why assume a quasi-randomly generated function-oriented paradigm-"
Hodgins: Zack! When you talk that fast, human beings can't hear you.
Pickering: Mr. Addy, I require your full attention!
Zack: No, you don't. But I'll give it to you.
Pickering: What I need to do here is establish that you are not a threat to the security of this country.
Zack: I'm getting a degree in Forensic Anthropology, I'm halfway through another in Engineering; what are you afraid I'll do, build a race of criminal robots who'll destroy the Earth?
Pickering: Do you have that kind of fantasy often?
Zack: Very often.
Pickering: Does it concern you that such adolescent thoughts are a sign of emotional retardation?
Zack: I have been told. I'm working on it.
Pickering: And can you understand why that concerns us?
Zack: Not really.
Booth: When cops get stuck we bring in people like you, ya know? Squints. You know, squint at things.
Temperance: Oh you mean people with very high IQs and basic reasoning skills?
Bones: Why would a gang leader cooperate?
Booth: I'm gonna ask him really, really nicely, Bones.
Bones: You know that book I'm reading about getting along with your co-workers? It says that sarcasm is never helpful. I can lend it to you if you want.
Goodman: That is not a tuxedo, Dr. Hodgins.
Hodgins: I am not going, Dr. Goodman.
Goodman: You are going. (Places name tag in Hodgins' pocket.) When we arrive the donors will all be wearing name tags.
Zack: What do we talk about?
Goodman: Your work, of course.
Angela: Zack's work consists of removing flesh from corpses. Hodgins dissects bugs that have been eating people's eyeballs.
Hodgins: Leave me out of it - I am not going.
Goodman: And how do you see your job?
Angela: (sighs) I draw death masks.
Dr. Daniel Goodman: Is that really how you see it?
Angela: Don't you?
Goodman: You are the best of us, Miss Montenegro. You discern humanity in the wreck of a ruined human body. You give victims back their faces - their identities. You remind us all of why we're here in the first place - because we treasure human life.
Angela: (Hugs Goodman)
Goodman: Oh, for God's sake.
Brennan: What happened?
Zack: Apparently all Angela needed was to hear her job description in a deep African-American tone.
Zack: (After figuring something or other out) (sticks out fist to bump)
Brennan: (stares)
Zack: You're... supposed to bump my first with yours.
Brennan: Why?
Zack: (shrugs) I'm told it's a widely acknowledged gesture of mutual success.
Angela: I love it when you two impersonate earthlings.
Booth: Are you trying to blackmail a federal agent?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: I don't like it.
Brennan: I'm fairly certain you're not supposed to.
Hodgins (about chinese inscription): So, what's it say?
Angela: It says "What make foolish man think I speak Chinese?"
Hodgins: I thought you were half Chinese.
Angela: And I think you're half Swedish. Let's hear some Swedish.
Zack: (After figuring out what some numbers mean in a case) I was out taking the pictures you needed and there was a sign and numbers on the ground and I thought, "Why assume a quasi-randomly generated function-oriented paradigm-"
Hodgins: Zack! When you talk that fast, human beings can't hear you.
Hodgins: (While beetle racing) I demand another beetle. Jeff's got a groin pull.
Zack: Arthropods do not possess groins. Pay up.
(Yes, we DID have this conversation. Yes, we are strange. Too bad.)
HannaH and Gabi: (discussing a possible Bones fanfic in which a zoo keeper gets eaten by a tiger)
Gabi: So, maybe the tiger was acting funny and like, I don't know, maybe it was high or something-
HannaH: How would a tiger get high?
Gabi: Well if the zoo keeper was high...
HannaH: Does that work?
Gabi: Let's test it!
HannaH: ...how?
Gabi: We'll go find a depressed hobo and give him a gun and tell him to come find us when he's ready and we'll give him drugs and let him kill himself and then cut him up and feed him to a tiger!
HannaH: What if he shoots us?
Gabi: We'll throw him the gun from a helicopter!
HannaH: Haha, and use a megaphone! But still...
Gabi: Well, fine, we'll give him drugs and make him OD and THEN we'll cut him up and feed him to a tiger.
HannaH: How do we get him to agree?
Gabi: Well, he probably feels like he has no purpose. So we tell him that he can donate himself to the cause of research-
HannaH: For a fanfic?
Gabi: Yup.
HannaH: Mkay. Where do we get a hobo and drugs?
Gabi: Emalee. (Who is this girl who was in my French class. This year, she held straight A's and D's. XD)
(If you read all of that, kudos to you. Don't you just love my logic?)
Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.
-(P. J. O'Rourke)-
Zack (wearing a petrified look): (about his flesh-eating beetles) You can't kill them, they have names.
Hodgins: He's afraid of polka dots, but screaming in agony is just another interesting phenomenon.
Brennan: (about Booth who is standing in the bath, naked, yelling at her) Your lack of Puritan modesty is refreshing.
Brennan: Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Booth: Hot tub + cold beer = warm beer. Hat = solution.
Bayo: Most people didn't use mascara a lot before it was invented. (Keep in mind, this is the SMARTEST KID IN OUR GRADE. He even got in to IMSA as a freshman.)
Gabi, HannaH, and Nicole: (browsing through KHII Orgy XIII Jersey T-shirts)
Gabi and Nicole: I don't know. Maaaybe. But they're twenty dollars a piece. Kind of expensive.
Axel Cosplayer Co-Running the Stall: (holds up a sign that says 'free fanservice with purchase'.)
Gabi: (pulls out twenty bucks) I'm buying.
Gabi: (looking through a book of art in Artists Alley. Comes to the part where it says "Caution, Yaoi Ahead. 13+") Oooh! -continues looking-
Lady Running Stall: Haha, everybody who looks at that either stops there or says "Oooh!".
Guy at ACen trying to get us to buy his manga: Yeah, volume two has more sex and volume three has more violence. Which do you like better?
Gabi (who was fourteen): BOTH!
Lisa Cuddy: (reading House's performance report outloud) (...) A large portion of your comments are racist or sexist...
Gregory House: That top makes you look like an Afghani prostitute.
Gregory House to Lisa Cuddy: By the way, I can tell when my Vicodin aren't Vicodin. Can you tell when your birth controls pills aren't birth control pills?
Gregory House: If her DNA was off by one percentage point she'd be a dolphin.
Mrs. Schutz (the 55 year old English teacher, who rules): Americans take better care of their cars than their bodies.
Laura: That's because we need our cars to drive us to McDonalds!
Mr. Hoffman (Tech Teacher): (While the class is spray painting their wooden cars) Some kids thought it would be funny if they spray painted my walls using the primer paint. They thought it would be "ghetto". News flash: You guys are not "ghetto". You live in (County Omitted, but it's basically rich, white, and Christian, so I think you get the idea) for Pete's sake... that is not the "ghetto".
Nicole: Ow... why does my back hurt?
Nicole's Mom: Because you have a bad attitude about long term service projects. If you continue to have a bad attitude about your religion, God will smite you and then other parts of your body will hurt.
Nicole: ...I think it's from gymnastics, but I'll keep that in mind.
Rules for life... Rule #7
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are.
We're all the same brand of crazy.
~(Kathyrn Harper)~
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
~(P. J. O'Rourke)~
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
~(P. J. O'Rourke)~
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
~(Twain)~
(While talking about how most people who are left handed started out as twins and the other baby was absorbed)
Sweet Obsidian Rain: WAIT. SO THERE COULD HAVE BEEN TWO SHIROTAS?!
Proper punctuation is the difference between a man's laughter and a manslaughter.
"Citizens of Anvilania, I stand before you, because if I was behind you, you couldn't see me!"~Yakko
(Talking about Echizen being a Gary Stu and how and why he keeps beating everybody)
Dudly: Ryoma kicked their arses by... unlocking doors, I reckon.
Daisy-chan: They forgot to lock the gate, I bet. XD!
JoelSleeping: Any activities on me that involves the usage of a MOUTH is prohibited!
“I think,” (Yukimura) said, very calmly, “that we should change the subject to something a little bit less mortifying than having my hypothetical sex life discussed in the school cafeteria.” ~Merry Rikkai Christmas by Sandy
"Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite." ~C.S. Lewis
"A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." ~Thomas Mann
"Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try." ~Fran Lebowitz
"Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good." ~Samuel Johnson
"Loafing is the most productive part of a writer's life." ~James Norman Hall
"A story should have a beginning, a middle, and an end... but not necessarily in that order." ~Jean Luc Godard
"Most editors are failed writers - but so are most writers. " ~T.S. Eliot
"The only cure for writer's block is insomnia." ~Merit Antares
"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one." ~Baltasar Gracián
"Being an author is like being in charge of your own personal insane asylum." ~Graycie Harmon
"Proofread carefully to see if you any words out." ~Author Unknown
"A metaphor is like a simile." ~Author Unknown
"The wastebasket is a writer's best friend." ~Isaac Bashevis Singer
“The first draft of anything is shit” ~ Ernest Hemingway
“There is no rule on how to write. Sometimes it comes easily and perfectly; sometimes it's like drilling rock and then blasting it out with charges.” ~ Ernest Hemingway
“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.” ~ E.L. Doctorow
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
~Charles Schultz
"Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"It is impossible to discourage the real writers - they don't give a damn what you say, they're going to write."
~Sinclair Lewis
"Fuck not with Fandom, for Fandom fucks back, and you can forget about the lube."
Mr. Kassel (science teacher): If you compress large amounts of carbon, it makes diamonds. That's why some people cremate family members and have them turned into diamonds.
Addison: So if we cremated and elephant could we make a really BIG diamond??
Anthony:(about the chemistry desk reference thinger) Does that book have the melting point of humans?
Mr. Kassel (science teacher): -headdesk-
Mrs. Schutz: ...The reader's reaction to both events.
Adam: Well, they obviously think that the killing of a cat is normal. I mean I kill my cat every day. What about you Suzanna?
Suzanna: Oh yeah, I kill my cat every day. I cut out it's eyes, too. I mean, who doesn't do that?
and if somebody's going to be a mary sue i'd rather it be niou fucking the brains out of KA than two boys writing poetry in the middle of "cumming into his beautiful face". ~L-chan
Guns don't kill people, shinigami notebooks that fall from the sky kill people.
After HannaH swats a hornet away from her face...
HannaH's cousin: You've just shunned a creature of God. A creature of heaven itself!
HannaH: Yeah, well the creature of hell just tried to eat my face!
Nicole: Oh! You should e-mail it to me, and then I'll type it up!
HannaH: How exactly are we going to get a Bunsen Burner into the Hyatt?
Nicole: Room service!
"OMFG my addicting curry won't load!" ~Daisy-chan
“If there is anyone here whom I have not insulted, I beg his pardon.” ~Johannes Brahms.
Perhaps, thought Nanny, little green Elphaba chose her own sex, and her own color, and to hell with her parents. ~Wicked (the book)
"She appeared and, touched me." (Mytho)
"The same place where I touched you? Bitch!" (Fakir)
~Princess Tutu English dub bloopers
"Your tail is - NOT a tail - zura! Where's your tail -zura?" ~Uzura from Princess Tutu English dub.
That concludes my profile.
If you enjoyed your stay, please drop a message. The best way to do this is to follow the story titles below. The story titles written by me, of course, not by somebody else. After you follow a story title that sounds interesting (if any of them do) you should read the story. And if you enjoy the story, hate the story, have criticism for the story, or just want to say hi you should press the little blue review button. This is the absolute fastest way to get in touch with me.
Until we meet again.
Sincerely,
~KA
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