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| rogue empress |
Author has written 13 stories for Alias, Phantom of the Opera, Wicked, Lord of the Rings, X-Men, X-Files, Firefly, and Xena: Warrior Princess. About me: I used to be the Sasquatch. Then I got sick of all those southern retards who think they're valiant if they can shoot something, and then hang it on their wall. Maybe I could have taught them something about nature, like, how to not get killed by bears, but no! They had to be dumbfaces and RUIN IT. I gave an armored monkey suit to a homeless guy to keep the locals entertained. He's cool with it. He got a credit card to buy food and other necessities. THEN I was a British spy. ((dodges sniper bullet)) But those redcoats smell funny, and well, it wasn't long before I decided I'd rather be a whale. Turns out, water can smell pretty funky as well. Somewhere in this mix, in 1810 I was forced into an arranged marriage, but fled the altar and hid in the Serengeti. That didn't last long either: I've got Irish and Dutch in me and well, with Africa being right by the equator and all, I didn't fare well under all that sun. By the time I got to Canada, they might have mistaken me for a walking beet monster of some sort if I hadn't slid in sideways through a transcendental window, and healed up on my way through. Canada, while much better than the states, is kinda boring. I love the people in Quebec though, because they're mean to outsiders for no reason whatsoever, and not ashamed of it either. I respect that. Then I went to high school and that was like (scoffs) whatever! like, can we say, "waste of time?" OH my god. There was this one time, back in old-school Japan, where I was a ninja and a samurai... at the same time. It was a very confusing time for me. My body was changing, I was rebelling against authority but still wanting them to respect me, and all my friends kept killing eachother. But I guess every girl goes through stages like that. OH, i almost forgot,when the first talkies started coming out, I lived in a studio appartment trying to make a living by selling scripts. nearly 100 years later, and STILL no one has wanted one. ...'course, in all that time, I only wrote two: "Bugs are exciting" and "When Crunch Berries Go Bad!" ...(thinks for a minute) no wonder I didn't have any friends. Then I tried to act on the stage, but everyone kept getting confused. The casting people would be like, "WHAT? Why is there a 13-year-old auditioning for the part of Queen Elizabeth? Shouldn't you be in school, little girl?" Um. Excuse me. I'm 623. Approximately. Once you hit 200 you kinda lose interest in counting. ...although not in cake and presents. I was there when Queen Elizabeth was Queen. 'course, I was trying to kill her, but that was before i knew her personally. She smelled VERY British, like more than any other. I couldn't stand it, I sent someone else in to do it and I went off and became a whale. You can imagine the looks on the casting directors' faces when I told them that. Anyways, what I've been getting to is: Love of cake lives forever. PSA: I Flame, and I expect flames in return. If I have a run-on sentence, or a misspelled word, or a CRAPPY STORY, or a grammatical error of any sort, I DAMN WELL BETTER HEAR ABOUT IT. Don't worry, I'm much more insane in person. Read my cousin's fics! She's almost as crazy as I am. Her pen name is Ember Witch, and can be found in my exclusive group of favorite authors. Hooray for family insanity! Current favorite quote: "Bucket all to Hell!'" | |||||||
1. Floods and Bloods » reviewsXena awakes with no memory of the last three days, and finds Gabrielle missing. She incites the help of Joxer to find her. Will they get to her before it's too late? Where have she and Xena been the last three days?Xena: Warrior Princess - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 22,337 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 9-23-09 - Published: 9-4-072. For the Record reviewsXena/Gabrielle. The night it all began.Xena: Warrior Princess - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,446 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 7-15-08 - Complete3. A Cursed Line » reviewsSydney is tasked to rescue a girl from a terrorist group in Portugal. The CIA knows almost nothing about her, except that these terrorists want her to make some sort of biochemical weapon of mass destruction.Alias - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,607 - Reviews: 18 - Updated: 4-19-08 - Published: 3-24-054. Leaving at Dawn reviewsMSR. Scully didn't cry or have a nightmare or pounce into bed with Mulder after the episode, all things. Neither did Mulder cry, wake up screaming, or perform any aspect of a silly rabbit like mating dance. no sir. This is what really happened. REVIEW!X-Files - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,591 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 7-7-07 - D. Scully & F. Mulder - Complete5. A Very Elaborate Hoax » reviewsI've done everything you're not supposed to do. OH but breaking the rules is so much fun... only written up to the first commercial break or so. Review and tell me if it's worth it.Firefly - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,210 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3-23-07 - Published: 3-20-076. Thoughts » reviewsWhat both of us know, and neither of us are saying. MSR. revised!X-Files - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,982 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 10-17-06 - Published: 10-15-067. Insomniac » reviewsWhenever Dana falls asleep she wakes up in a different year. Can Xavier help her? She seems innocent enough, but is there something she's not telling Xavier and his team? expect weird pairings. new character and new rating!X-Men - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,612 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 10-14-06 - Published: 6-1-068. Ouija Board! » reviews[Wicked] Two clumsy singers, one Ouija board, and one first edition of Wicked...put them together and you get one big problem. please review!Wicked - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,868 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 7-27-06 - Published: 8-19-059. The Encounter » reviewsThe encounter that brings a peal of doom for Rivendell and MiddleEarth, A tormented heart for the shipwright's son, A lost name for Elrond and his children. And what becomes of a creature whose blood is black but whose heart is full of light?Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,469 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 12-19-05 - Published: 12-11-0510. Heartache Cafe » reviewsBookverse. Back at Shiz, Elphaba finds herself striving to be noticed by one man, but a lifetime of learning how to hide is getting in the way. ElphieBoqWicked - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,709 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 8-25-05 - Published: 8-21-0511. No More Fantasies » reviewsWhat happened after Erik escaped from the mob? I wrote this because I was sick of everyone saying that Christine should have chosen Erik. let me know if i should keep going.Phantom of the Opera - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,397 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 8-25-05 - Published: 5-6-0512. Stolen Dreams reviewsChristine's big break during the rehearsal for Hannibal...as seen through a chorus girl's eyes.Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,228 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 5-18-05 - Complete
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