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Author has written 20 stories for Harry Potter. Hey, I'm Sam, and I'm seventeen. I'm goofy and dorky and way to clumsy for my own good. I write too much, I laugh too much, and I do too little homework. I'm the kind of person you love or you hate. I'm loudmouthed around people I know, and akwardly quiet around people I don't. I've broken a finger, a toe, and separated my shoulder four times. I once split my eyebrow open walking into a doorframe, and I have a knack for falling down entire flights of stairs. I love banister sliding. I'm in marching band, and I fall down a lot, which usually leads to a call across the parking lot, "Sam, you okay?" "Yep." "Need a bandaid?" "Yep." "Ice?" "Probably." I'm an insomniac. But, like, actually. Because some jackass doctor tried to put me on anti-depressants. I'm bi-polar. If you're bi-polar, you know that anti-depressants are like death. I'm lucky to have gotten away with insomnia as the only lasting effect. I'm always listening to music, but I can't sing for the life of me. I can play trumpet and clarinet, and am perfectly capable of plunking along on the piano. I've got two older sisters and an older brother. And a niece who's only three years younger than me. I have a golden retriever, a guinea pig, a parakeet, and two horses. I also show goats and lambs with FFA, despite the fact that having lambs always terrifies me bacause "LAMBS ARE BORN LOOKING FOR A WAY TO DIE!!" According to my Ag teacher, horses look at a barbed wire fence and get cut. Lambs look at a barbed wire fence, get cut, and die. And that's sort of me in a cyber nutshell! QUOTES: Trumpet players are gods. Or, they think they are. For personal safety, please don't tell them otherwise. --common knowledge "I'm going to have the words 'Careless, Brash Thug' carved into your headstone." "So you're ready to go?" "Actually, there probably won't be enough of your body left to warrant digging a grave." --one of my books "It looks like a boot..." "WHERE'S THE FOOT!?" --Elli and me "You don't know who sherlock is? Hahaha-- it's a muggle thi-- oh, never mind." -- Lily... according to me. "Run Will, run!" --Elli (long story) "I kind of want a fresca." "I kind of want to roundhouse kick someone in the face." --Kylan and me Band kid, to both of our old drum majors, who joined a drum corps together: "So, what's it like?" Morgan: "Well, once you join... THEY OWN YOUR SOUL." Devon: "We missed camp, so we had to learn all 192 sets of the show in three days. I'm up to six Advil a day." Morgan: "Seriously, the only free time you're allowed is to sleep. And you HAVE to sleep. And you normally do so on the bus." Devon: "...and everyone is gay." Us: "..." Morgan: "But, yeah, it's pretty awesome." "That is some hefty Romeo and Juliet shit right there." --me "What, is this one of those days where everyone obeys? Good, go jump off a cliff!" --one of my books "It isn't rape if you yell surprise!" --Reece... and an inside band joke "Did you just trip over your own feet?" "No... there was this invisible box..." --me, falling down "HEY BAND!" "HEY WHAT?" "... look at the sunset." --one of our band directors, who is the Chuck Norris of band directors. Seriously. He will pwn you. "You wanna save the rainforest? Go plant some f-cking trees!" --Uncle Ted | |||||||||
1. Neurotically Obsessed » reviewsOliver has always been obsessed with Katie. I mean, Quidditch. Katie has always been neurotic. Which is kind of Oliver's fault. Well, entirely Oliver's fault. So is the fact that she's flying for Puddlemere United. Calamity ensues.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 44,703 - Reviews: 360 - Updated: 8-23-08 - Published: 1-31-08 - Katie B. & Oliver W.2. If Zombies Attacked reviewsExactly what it sounds like. We've all wondered, what Harry, Dumbledore, Edward, James, Draco, Voldemort, Russel Crowe, etc, would do If Zombies Attacked. Well, now we know. OneshotHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,537 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 8-20-08 - Complete3. Mascara reviewsKatie has a problem. You see, mascara stains white shirts. Oh, and she’s head over heels in love with her best friend, but focus on the real problem here, won’t you? OneshotHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,770 - Reviews: 41 - Published: 6-18-08 - Katie B. & Oliver W. - Complete4. Infatuation reviewsLily knows what an infatuation is. She's watched countless girls sighing and whispering and batting their eyelashes. But Lily isn't like those girls. She's strong. She's solid. She's... completely infatuated with James Potter. Just don't tell James PotterHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,739 - Reviews: 44 - Published: 2-19-08 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete5. Potter Induced Madness » reviewsLily hates James because he drives her crazy. Crazy enough that she finds herself spending a lot of time talking to the little voice and making midnight trips to the kitchens for brownies. LJ hate loveHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 41,946 - Reviews: 528 - Updated: 2-3-08 - Published: 11-28-06 - Lily Evans P. & James P.6. The Case of the Marauders' Sexualities reviewsEveryone wonders... are the infamous Marauders GAY? Well that's what the Court is here to find out. The defendants: Prongs, Moony, and Padfoot. The evidence: screaming fangirls, slash posters, and Sirius' Big Book of Shagging. This Court will now commenceHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,923 - Reviews: 25 - Published: 12-1-07 - James P. & Sirius B. - Complete7. Diabolical, Bell reviewsOneshot. Angelina and Alicia do a little diabolical scheming to help their Captain realize his feelings for a certain Katie Bell. A little bit of damsel in distress, a little bit of thick!Oliver, I think you get my point. Quite hilarious. OneshotHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,805 - Reviews: 28 - Published: 8-13-07 - Katie B. & Oliver W. - Complete8. Because of the Brave reviewsHallows spoilers! Katie and Oliver before and after the battle. Not strictly canon... because Jo completely neglects them... OneshotHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,188 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 7-23-07 - Katie B. & Oliver W. - Complete9. Here Without You reviewsMAJOR HALLOWS SPOILER! Fred and Angelina... if you've read the book, you know that no more needs to be said.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,132 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 7-22-07 - Angelina J. & Fred W. - Complete10. Splinched reviewsMAJOR HALLOWS SPOILER! They were twins... and then he was alone... Splinched, as it were. OneshotHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 815 - Reviews: 47 - Published: 7-22-07 - George W. & Fred W. - Complete11. I am Up to no Good » reviewsLily didn't always hate James. Peter wasn't always our friend. But we? We are Marauders 'til the end. That rule is way up on the Marauder Code with 'we will not refer to Remus' problem as 'that time of the month' This is our story.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 24,521 - Reviews: 65 - Updated: 6-24-07 - Published: 11-2-0512. Handcuffs » reviewsNot as entirely kinky as it sounds, I promise! Another bit of Lily and James drabble, though it kind of has a plot! If you liked 'I am Up to No Good', you'll love this! FINHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,604 - Reviews: 77 - Updated: 5-1-07 - Published: 6-19-06 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete13. The Prince of Darkness » reviewsThis is for the Slytherin who stands alone. This story is not about kind Draco, or in love with the Mudblood Draco. This is about Draco Malfoy, the Prince of Darkness.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,213 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 3-30-07 - Published: 11-23-06 - Draco M. - Complete14. Slytherin Beauty » reviewsAU What if Lily Evans was a Slytherin? Would James still fall for her? Would she still fall for the messyhaired Gryffindor who lived to taunt her? And what would Voldemort think of it all? LJ hate and loveHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 27,532 - Reviews: 164 - Updated: 7-30-06 - Published: 7-19-05 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete15. Unstable reviewsThey start out as first years... then they hate each other... then they're married and Lily's pregnant and emotionally unstable! Yet again another fluffy oneshot! Well, until Voldemort shows up, anyway...Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,063 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 5-30-06 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete16. I Hate Not Hating You reviewsLily and James, another fluffy oneshot. The title explains most of it. Enjoy! FINHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 582 - Reviews: 32 - Published: 5-30-06 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete17. What Girls Like About Guys reviewsFluff ... oneshot LilyJames. Started as a list of what my friends and i adore about our guys... turned into a fic, what can i say?Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,192 - Reviews: 37 - Published: 11-26-05 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete18. Marauders' Notations reviewsJust your average day with the Marauders. You know, evil mutant bunnies, Sirius eating bezoars, the whole deal. Rated for language. OneshotHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,568 - Reviews: 24 - Published: 11-2-05 - Complete19. Because of What? » reviewsVoldemort aka Hello Kitty tries to rule the world of course! But FIRST, Lily gets stuck to a tree singing an annoying song, THEN jumps off a building... LJ hate/love. My first fic. FINHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 25,523 - Reviews: 87 - Updated: 7-3-05 - Published: 4-19-05 - Lily Evans P. & James P. - Complete20. Accepting Opposites » reviewsDraco always hated Gryffindors. Hermione always hated... well, just Draco. Unfortunately for the two of them, fate has other plans. Throw in a creepy cabin, a Common Room, and moonlight flibbergibbets, and you get Hermione and Draco's seventh year. FINHarry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,699 - Reviews: 32 - Published: 7-1-05 - Hermione G. & Draco M. - Complete
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