FanFiction.Net - unleash your imagination| Twist |
Author has written 51 stories for Harry Potter, Discworld, Charles Dickens, Pirates of the Caribbean, Crucible, Misc. Books, Misc. Comics, and House, M.D.. Super December 2008 Update! Twist is a twenty-something college student living on the east coast of the US. She spends most of her time on her schoolwork; she is trying to get a bachelor's degree in Biology so that she can get a job that makes some kind of money. She also enjoys spending time with her horse, Lola. They jump fences. Good times. Twist has won several writing awards but has never been published. She would like to be one day, really she would. She will let you know if she ever is, so you can read it. Twist writes for several fandoms but enjoys Discworld the most. Her favorite characters are Moist von Lipwig and Havelock Vetinari. She almost always portrays Vetinari as out of character, and usually he is part of a non-canon secret club with Sybil Ramkin-Vimes, Lord Rust and Lord Downey called 'the Sacred Homiehood'. If this sort of thing bothers you, you should probably not read any fanfiction by Twist. Also, you should take yourself less seriously. Unless you are Terry Pratchett, in which case please don't sue. She has been semi-retired from fanfiction for several years now, however she still reads the stuff and will put out a piece occasionally. Her pet trilogy is the Diplomatic Piracy series of fics. The first one, however awful, is in fact up on this website and can be read. The second one is being written and the third is, yes, plotted, but as of yet unwritten. She is taking her time with it, thank you very much. Twist's greatest regret is that she cannot grow up to be a superhero. She wants to visit Australia someday, as well as New Zealand. She would also like to live on a horse farm, so she can finally fulfill her dream of having her horse live with her, like a large outdoor dog. Twist has a livejournal. Her homepage link will direct you to it. Be warned: she is not always rational. It is best if you wear PPE. Note 12-6-08: I went through and re-categorized all my fics. If a fic is listed as complete, it is that. Done. Finito. Never to be updated. Some fics in that category are not finished, and they never will be, sorry. If a fic is listed as 'in progress', it might be updated. Some of those are unlikely (I Needn't Ponder Your Sexiness, Discworld Houseshare, others) but don't write them off, because I haven't and up to last week I had all but written Revolutions off and look where that got me (a renewed vigor for getting the damn thing finished, yey). So, you know, Watch This Space. "I plan to live forever, or die in the attempt." (Catch 22) | |||||||||||
1. Diplomatic Piracy 2: Black Iron Key » reviewsSequel to 'Diplomatic Piracy'. Vetinari and his crew are commissioned by the Patrician to go on a treasure hunt for a cursèd treasure. Young Sam can't resist the call of the sea. Craziness and nautical battles ensue.Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,886 - Reviews: 36 - Updated: 11-17-09 - Published: 12-3-07 - Sam Vimes & Vetinari2. Making Friends reviewsA charming little story involving assault.Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,280 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 10-29-09 - Complete3. Crossword reviewsWho needs more than a few throwaway lines to establish a romance? The Patrician confronts the crossword maven Grace Speaker and things evolve, eventually. Journalists, none too unobservant, take notice of things like that.Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,547 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 10-12-09 - Complete4. Terrapins Throughout reviewsAn AU set on our own lovely little blue planet. Featuring: Moist's American cousin, his lovely wife Adora, and other various familiar faces. Welcome to Ankh, Maryland. NOTE: Pilot chapter only - try it out, you might like it. Continuation possible.Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,161 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9-24-095. Revolutions » reviewsFINISHED Stoneface Vimes overthrew King Lorenzo, and was killed shortly thereafter, giving rise to a long line of Morporkian Patricians. But what if Vimes had lived? Join the readers who rave this journey down the Other Trouser Leg is "pretty ok!"Discworld - Rated: T - English - General/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 39,763 - Reviews: 50 - Updated: 2-7-09 - Published: 5-16-03 - Complete6. The Fiesta Job reviewsVimes and Vetinari go undercover to thwart an explosive assassination attempt. What are their motivations? Could it be patriotism? Or something else? Are rhetorical questions an effective strategy for attracting readers? FEATURES: mustachioed Vimes, etc.Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,627 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 1-11-09 - Complete7. FourLegged Shellfish reviewsA heartwarming tale of the Patrician trying to make his godson happy, even if it means braving Crazy People That Work With Horses.Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,856 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 1-2-09 - Complete8. Hers reviewsShe's killing him, bit by bit, and he can't escape, and sometimes can't avoid. He's hers, and she takes what she wants. Thinky-type Vetinari fic, written in a fit of procrastination.Discworld - Rated: K - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 926 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 12-10-08 - Complete9. A Question of Aboslute Obedience reviewsA story that I have re-posted with a kinder, gentler author's note. Still contains juvenile humor and sweatervests, never fear. Not as creepy as the title sounds. Rated T because I felt like it.Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,921 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-8-08 - Complete10. Naked Cometh AnkhMorpork Nights » reviewsGay Voldemort.Crossover - Discworld & House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,356 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 5-22-08 - Published: 4-22-08 - G. House - Complete11. Diplomatic Piracy 2 and a bit: The Worst Pirate reviewsA musical interlude overcomes the crew of Diplomatic Piracy 2. Poor Sam, he really isn't equipped to deal with this sort of thing. Crackfic lulz.Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,289 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2-25-08 - Sam Vimes & Vetinari - Complete12. Awkward Turtle reviewsA younger Havelock Vetinari and Sybil Ramkin walk home from a wedding together. Talk is had. Hanky ensues, but no panky. Goofy little piece of fluff fic.Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,358 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 1-14-08 - Complete13. A Hogswatch Story reviewsHogswatch in the Vimes household, complete with antisocial godfather. Merry Christmas, kids.Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,555 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 12-25-07 - Complete14. WULL HAI THAR reviewsShort fic, no plot, makes little to no sense. You know you want it.Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,254 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 10-18-07 - Complete15. Hugging reviewsLooking For GroupLFG Richard the warlock isn't feeling himself. Cale tries to cheer him up. The closest to RichardCale slash I will ever be able to bring myself to write. T for light fantasy violence.Misc. Comics - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,825 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 8-14-07 - Complete16. Tea Partay reviewsVetinari, Downey and Rust are on a mission to destory the Disc's newest music sensation, rap. Don't hate.Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,466 - Reviews: 16 - Published: 2-21-07 - Complete17. Lead reviewsSort of sequel to Diplomatic Piracy. Vetinari's looking for a new first mate, and he's got rum. Old acquaintances emerge with hilarious results. Everyone loves a bad pirate who's good at his job. Strong T rating for language and alcohols!Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,157 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 9-4-06 - Complete18. Bring It reviewsSnakes on a Plane crosses over with homiehood!Discworld. Just so you know? This is not intended to be serious. Havelock Vetinari retires and deals with murderers, all with a song from the SoaP album in the background. Have fun, children. M for bad words.Discworld - Rated: M - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,644 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 8-29-06 - Complete19. Of Angels and Volcanoes » reviewsWhen a man like Vetinari dies, there's no way his funeral will be normal. NEW SHORT! The funeral has passed, but angellic encounters still irk Moist.Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,834 - Reviews: 35 - Updated: 10-20-05 - Published: 9-10-0520. Get A Job reviewsHavelock Vetinari, recently graduated Assassin, gets caught up in his friend's relationship and financial issues. Sort of on the same line as Chronicles of a Social Outcast. Songfic to The Offspring's Why Don't You Get a Job. T for mild swearing.Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,011 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 8-17-05 - Complete21. Chronicles of a Social Outcast » reviewsA group of (very) short blurbs on teenaged Havelock Vetinari. These are not meant to be serious, and are OOC. I had fun writing them, so I hope you have fun reading them. :) New short!Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,279 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 7-7-05 - Published: 2-25-0422. Final Pains reviewsA one-shot goof-off fic relating to Havelock's final days as a student at the Assassin's Guild. As usual with me, this is not to be taken seriously. PG to be safe, due to a small fight scene (rawr!). Enjoy.Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,163 - Reviews: 21 - Published: 7-12-04 - Complete23. Discworld HouseShare » reviewsCHAPTER 2 UPDATE Yes, you read the title right! A semi-interactive fic (details inside) in which everyone's favorite characters (almost everyone's, anyway) are forced to live together. Chaos, crossdressing and 'General Hospital' abound!Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,815 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 6-26-04 - Published: 4-19-0424. Alternate Storyline to The Scarlet Letter reviewsTitle says a lot. SLASH. Lots of it. Chillingworth tries to take advantage of Dimmesdale, and gets a nasty surprise.Misc. Books - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,558 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 4-28-04 - Complete25. Alternate Ending to The Crucible by Arthur Miller reviewsThe Crucible Pretty much what the title says. Not meant to be at all serious or offensive. Relax, have fun, peace out. :Crucible - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,402 - Reviews: 48 - Published: 2-26-04 - Complete26. A Delicate Buy reviewsSemi-sequel to "Ankh-Morpork, Meet Pixie Stix". Action! Romace! The word 'pookie' Okay, only the last one. It is recommended that you read that and Mercator's "From the Office of the Patrician" first, especially chapter 7.Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 777 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 1-23-04 - Complete27. Captain Saint Nick reviewsA little, fluffy Christmas ficlet. A certain newlywed couple is visited Christmas Eve by a certain drunken pirate. X-mas present from me to the 'net in general. :Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 720 - Reviews: 11 - Published: 12-24-03 - Will T. & Jack S. - Complete28. Diplomatic Piracy » reviewsAn exiled Vetinari has an open road ahead of him. Watch through the eyes of Vimes as pirates, politicians and hard liquors combine.Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,936 - Reviews: 27 - Published: 11-7-03 - Complete29. Contains Neosporin reviewsRemusTom slash. Very AU, short and containing really nothing but sex. Warnings: SLASH, VIOLENCE, AU, UTTER DESTRUCTION OF ALL THAT IS CANONHarry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 944 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 8-22-03 - Remus L. & Voldemort - Complete30. The Infinite Secrets of the Sacred Homiehood » reviewsFINISHED When Vetinari, Sybil, Downey and Rust were twelve, they formed a sacred homiehood in symbolism of everlasting friendship, or something. When tension grows between Rust and his son, it's all put to the test. Laugh! Cry! Review!Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,526 - Reviews: 41 - Updated: 3-24-03 - Published: 9-3-02 - Complete31. History Class reviewsRoughly a thousand years after 'Night Watch' a class field trip to the old Palace turns out not quite as it was expected to . . .Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,102 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 2-18-03 - Complete32. If I Were Gay reviewsSongfic to Stephan Lynch's "If I Were Gay." It's a parody of Herbert/Pip slash. Hardly any sexual content none, really . Don't take it too seriously. :Charles Dickens - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 844 - Reviews: 15 - Published: 2-3-03 - Complete33. Breaking to Mend reviewsSLASH. Great Expectations' Herbert and Pip have been avoiding each other for a long time; can this be remedied?Charles Dickens - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,030 - Reviews: 27 - Published: 12-2-02 - Complete34. Brung Low reviewsPG for darkness. Songfic to Default's 'Deny' about the woman who "brung low" our dear Vimsey.Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 719 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-1-02 - Complete35. Stale Artichokes reviewsRandomness. My friend gave it to me for my birthday and I fixed the formatting and gave it to you wonderful people. Enjoy.Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,226 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 11-24-02 - Complete36. A Homiehood Hogswatch reviewsSybil, Downey and Rust are on a mission. The mission? Teach Havelock Vetinari the true meaning of Hogswatch. Preseason posting. Feel special.Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,865 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 11-24-02 - Complete37. Anthropomorphism reviewsHaving a mortal body's a bugger, isn't it?Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,116 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 10-28-02 - Complete38. I Needn't Ponder Your Sexiness » reviews*CHAPTER 4 POSTED* A romance involving wizards, Ponder, and a couple Vetinaris. Be very, very afraid.Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,068 - Reviews: 33 - Updated: 10-24-02 - Published: 8-4-0239. Lord Vetinari, Meet George Dubya » reviewsFINISHED The story people have clamoring for ever since my first Disc fic. Well, perhaps not clamoring. Anyway, some Good Omens is included as well as some SNL characters. Please put your trays in an upright and locked position and enjoy.Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,495 - Reviews: 77 - Updated: 8-1-02 - Published: 2-26-02 - Complete40. What I Did After Graduation reviewsA brief, silly story I wrote a short while ago. Contains Vetinari and drinking, as well as a flirtatious Sybil Ramkin, hence the rating. Read and enjoy.Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,894 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 6-9-02 - Complete41. Harry Potter and the 4 Horsemen of the Apocralypse reviewsI got the idea while reading Frog Fad's 'The Unlikely Harry Potter.' The title was in there and I was just like; 'Woah, cool . . .' and so I wrote it. The title sums it up pretty well, I think. Harry-kins, and the Four Horsemen.Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,117 - Reviews: 12 - Published: 4-12-02 - Harry P. - Complete42. Of Leashes and Randomness reviewsA fic I wrote with a temp. of 101 degrees. Flames will be packaged and used to keep me cool. Basically, it's a wild guess on what Vetinari does at night. Have fun, people. Read and review.Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,307 - Reviews: 23 - Published: 4-3-02 - Complete43. Death Becomes Him » reviews*chapter four now posted* When Harry attempts to commit suicide, there are some bungled results. Caught in an amusing situation between life an death, a spirit comes along for the ride. 12-6-08: This will never be finished, huge shocker, I know.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,344 - Reviews: 22 - Updated: 3-14-02 - Published: 4-4-01 - Harry P. - Complete44. If They Had Computers reviewsA little blurb from yours truly. Please forgive it if you don't like it, staying up until 12:15 and listening to Jimmy Buffet is not good for you . . . The title's pretty much self-explanitory.Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 563 - Reviews: 30 - Published: 2-26-02 - Complete45. A School Dance Made Interesting reviewsPG for some naughty stuff. Not bad though. Not unless you know about the 'el dinero' dance... Just something I thought of the other night, please R&R!Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,665 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 11-3-01 - Complete46. AnkhMorpork, Meet Pixie Stix reviewsA random hyper fic which has my favorite character, Vetinari! I LOVE HIM! Sorry, lost my composure there. Anyway, the title it very self-explanitory, and I would like to get reviews since this is my first Discworld fic! Tanx! Buh-bye! P.S R/R!Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,022 - Reviews: 33 - Published: 7-24-01 - Complete47. My First METMA Challenge Ficcy! reviewsHii! This is my first METMA Challenge Fic I've written! I would like to say happy birthday to Guinea! This fic is dedicated to her! Please read her fic! And review this one!Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 833 - Reviews: 13 - Published: 2-1-01 - Complete48. Night reviewsPG for darkness. It's from someone's point of view, but don't say who you think it is in your review. In my mind that puts you in a mindset and doesn't allow your theory to change. Let your mind wander. Thanks, and R/R please.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 1-4-01 - Complete49. Tormented reviewsPG-13 for a rather graphic description of the Crutacious Curse. The sequal/partner to 'If Only...'. I think I might make this a series. R/R as always! Oh, did I mention it's about Voldie?Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,287 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12-27-00 - Complete50. If Only reviewsKind of angsty. My first attempt at a drama. I realize it may really suck 12-6-08: It does , so tell me so in a nice way. It's about Minerva and Tom Riddle. She looks back on things she could have done. You may need a hankie, I'm not sure though.Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 431 - Reviews: 37 - Published: 9-14-00 - Complete51. How the Gang Caught Voldemort! » reviewsIt's nuts! Be warned! PG for violence. But I finally got around to it. I know I should be working on 'Draco' but.... READ!Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 761 - Reviews: 50 - Published: 4-3-00 - Complete
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