Hey there! If you're reading this, I guess that means you think I'm worth looking up! XD Which I find funny, because I'm boring, really. But eh, I guess I'll let you make that decision for yourself. So be my guest, read on! :P

(Last major overhaul on September 15, 2009)

Note: If you see this OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO anywhere, it's a divider. The stupid line thingies stopped working. Very frustrating. (November 9, 2009)

Name: Jordan

Gender: Male. Yup, I'm a guy.

Age: 20

Birthday: August 23

Grade: College Sophomore at Rogers State! Woo!

Orientation: Bisexual

Religious Views: None. Call me atheist if you want.

Political Affiliation: Registered Democrat

Location: Bartlesville, Washington County, Oklahoma, USA, North American Continent, Earth (Sol 3), Sol System, Milky Way Galaxy, the Universe.

Family on ff.net: My brother, Doku-san (who does not favor teh slash, but, interestingly enough, read and reviewed "Robin's Aching Back". Hmm...)

Current Major Obsession: Malcolm in the Middle. Currently several fic ideas are rolling around in my head. Whether they get written or not is yet to be determined. This obsession has been going on for a very long time now... I think it's been a month and a half.

Past Major Obsessions (In ascending order, from the time I first discovered the site): Harry Potter, Kingdom Hearts, Stargate, Kingdom Hearts (again), Teen Titans, South Park, Animorphs, One Piece, teh RonxJake, American Dragon: Jake Long, South Park (again), High School Musical, Meet the Robinsons, High School Musical (again), Animorphs AND Legion of Superheroes (at the same time), Palletshipping, South Park (again), Transformers 2007/RotF

Announcements:

Hmm... Lemme see... Oh, I know! FanArt! Yesh! I think it's so cool how some people do FanArt for fanfics they really like. So I'm here to tell you that if you like one of my stories well enough to do some FanArt, go right ahead! It'd be awesome, really. ...Just, y'know, let me know first. XD

I've got twelve stories up! Wootness!

Explanation of a Major Obsession: Every once in a while I'll read something, watch something on TV, or play a game I just can't get enough of. And sometimes, just sometimes, I wonder if there's a section for it here on FF. And by then I'll already have a pairing in mind, so if I find both the correct section, and then a fic with the right pairing, I become totally hooked. I'll blaze through that section reading every fic with my favorite pairing in it, and when I've read them all (or am exhausted from searching), I'll usually try to write my own. This will normally last a month, IF NOT MORE. And that's how I explain what a major obsession is to me. (I like to curb it a little by only defining an obsession as major if I've tried to write something for it--otherwise every little short-winded, two-day obsession I have would have to go up on that list. XD)

I DO NOT TAKE KINDLY TO FLAMES. Unless your flame is well thought out and actually has a point, you are only being immature and annoying. In fact, if it's well thought out at all it's not even a flame. Seriously though, if you flame one of my stories, or one of a friend's stories, YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME. I am deadly serious on this.

Likes:

TV (I could not live without it), reading (same as TV), computer games, anime, sci-fi, friends, dogs (dachshunds rock!), storms (gah, tornadoes!), writing (when inspiration hits me), video games, eating (totally a fat kid), science, psychology, different languages (although I'm probably not going to be a linguist), music (a little bit of about everything, but not rap or christian), Barack Obama, and last, but certainly not least: ROMANCE!

Yesh, I love teh romance. I've taken several personality tests that've told me I'm a helpless romantic. I will not write anything that doesn't include some form of romance. And more than likely humor, too; but that's different, the humor just kinda pops outta nowhere.

I don't know where my obsession with romance came from; probably from reading fanfics, but I don't really know. I only like a certain kind of romance, too: Yaoi, shounen-ai, slash; call it what you will.

I don't like straight romance. I've said it before and I'll say it again: straight romance is boring! It's always the same on TV and in books: Guy meets girl, the two fall in love, get married, and have kids. Pathetic. I want something more interesting! (I really hate the romance section of books in Wal-Mart. XD) So in comes teh slash.

EDIT: Recently, I've actually started finding het pairings that I like. However, those are few and far between. Slashy goodness still reigns supreme. XD

Anyway, back to the lists.

Dislikes:

Conservatism (yup, I said it, I hate it. With a passion.), Bush (very much hate), homophobes like Fred Phelps and John Hagey, homophobia in general, religion (just most, not all), racism, sexism, rap, gospel music (with the exception of hymns--I've heard them since I was born--they're ingrained into my brain...), christian romance (I can't believe this is actually a real genre...), the majority of the freshmen at my high school (which have now graduated, and were called one of the worst classes EVER--seriously. XD), flames/flamers, 7th Heaven, John and Kate Plus 8, Little People Big World, the Dugger family, TBN, Baptists, math, Bill O'Reilly, Sarah Palin, Ann Coulter, and Kansas, which is teh evil.

My Writing

I've removed the "Interesting Stuff About Me" section to write another that actually has some bearing on FanFic. XD

Good:

1. I come up will story ideas ALL THE TIME. Seriously. Although sometimes the ideas I come up with are overdone (seriously...), a lot of the time I'm convinced my ideas are unique.

2. Although I utterly despise bragging, I like to think that my grammar is above par. I may sometimes write ungrammatically, but normally that's on purpose. I also LOVE contractions. You have no idea. I'm especially fond of double contractions like "shouldn't've" or "couldn't've."

3. I like to think that my stories flow smoothly, and don't follow a "he did this, then he did that" pattern. Course, I could be utterly wrong. XD

Bad:

1. Although I think of story ideas ALL THE TIME, I rarely write them down. This is due to a very short attention span when writing, and development into other interest when writing. If I can't get something finished in one setting, it normally won't get finished at all. This is why I have only ten fics up; why my 'Stories' folder is full of "In Progress" fics; and why I generally only write oneshots. All of the fics I have posted I've written in one sitting. Which is probably the reason I think most of them are crappy. (Seriously, the only one I'm really proud of at the moment is "Her Own Happily Ever After," because it flows smoothly, and I think I got Wisdom down very well.)

2. I am EXTREMELY forgetful. This is another reason why I don't finish fics as often as I do. Couple that with the fact that I get hung up really easily, and it's disaster-spelling. For example, the main symptom of this is that I'll forget a word or how I wanted to phrase a sentence. IN ONLY A MATTER OF SECONDS. Seriously, I'll forget while I'm typing, and then I get hung up with trying to remember. I CANNOT CONTINUE until I've remembered. I don't know why exactly, but it probably has something to do with being anal retentive (which was in the "Interesting Stuff About Me" section I've removed). Another symptom of this is that if I try to come back to a fic I started a long time ago, I won't be able to remember how I wanted it to be, and, being afraid to completely ruin the whole thing, I won't even attempt to finish it. There are several of these in my "In Progress" folder.

3. I am TERRIBLE at keeping characters IC. It may not seem like it when reading some of my fics, but I am. Truly. Characters that are the exact opposite of myself will come across with characteristics of mine, and tend to act the way I want them to. I hate this. You seriously have no idea. This is a reason why a lot of my ideas never come to fruition: I'm terrified of not doing the characters justice.

4. I am also absolutely terrible with emotional fluff and padding that many authors (such as Atlantia and Brat-Child3) are amazingly great at. I feel like I can't adequately explain why the characters I write feel the way they do, and end up seeming two-dimensional. Either that, or the situation seems cliche or unbelievable.

5. I am not immune to Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu Syndrome. I have started a few fics that have original characters in them that have ended up seeming like Gary-Stues. None of which I will EVER post. So I am always reluctant to make up original characters, even if I think the fic idea I've come up with is spazztastically awesome.

6. For the longest time I've been accustomed to writing 'ok' as opposed to the proper 'okay.' This really annoys me, because I'm practically fanatical about spelling and grammar. So if you see 'ok' in some of my older works (or all of them... -le sigh-), I'm sorry about that.

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Fanfic Pet Peeves

1. British authors, I love you. The British are awesome people. But, for the love of the gods, American characters DON'T speak British English! Unless the character is, like, an immigrant or something. Still, American-born characters that speak American English should not be saying British phrases or using the word 'mum.' Now, reversely, American authors, British English-speaking characters should speak in British phrases and use the word 'mum.' Sorry, but that really does drive me up the wall.

2. Author's notes within a story. If you absolutely HAVE to say something about a particular part of your story, mark it with a number in parenthesis (starting with (1), and continuing down the list), and explain it at the at the bottom of the page inside your ending A/N. A/N's within a story pull the reader out of the flow of the story. It's annoying. And remember, Fanfic dislikes asterisks with a fiery passion, so you have to use numbers in their place.

All-Time Most Favoritetest Slash Pairings

(Not in any particular order)

Jack/Daniel (Stargate SG-1)

McShep - Shepperd/McKay (Stargate Atlantis)

Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts) -

NaruSasu - Naruto/Sasuke (Naruto) -

Gaara/Lee (Naruto)

Harry/Draco (Harry Potter)

Robin/Beast Boy (Teen Titans)

Style - Stan/Kyle (South Park) -

Kenny/Butters (South Park) (I refuse to call this 'Bunny.' It makes me think of those damn pink bunny outfits from Super Jail, for some reason. Which, in turn, makes me think of Kenny getting ripped apart.)

Stan/Kyle/Kenny (South Park)

Jake/Tobias (Animorphs)

ZoLu - Zoro/Luffy (One Piece)

DragonFry - Jake/Spud (American Dragon)

Ron/Jake (Kim Possible and American Dragon respectively.) (Pairing created by Serge Stiles. See mx55 on DevArt.)

Sam/Bumblebee (2007 Transformers Movie)

Chyan - Chad/Ryan (High School Musical)

Timecest - Lewis/Wilbur (Meet the Robinsons)

Wilbur/Matt (Meet the Robinsons) (Matt is an OC created by amazonaviator on LJ.)

Lazlo/Edward (Camp Lazlo)

Brainy/Superman (Legion of Superheroes)

Palletshipping - Ash/Gary AKA Satoshi/Shigeru (Pokemon) -

MasterChief/Arbiter (Halo) (I'm actually rather flexible on this one--I don't really see it ever happening, but it's fun nonetheless.)

Stanley/Zero (Holes) (One day I will write something for this pairing. The poor fandom is too choked on stupid and cliche "girl goes to CGL" fics, and running WAY low on wonderful SxZ slash--which, I might add, is practically canon. Guess I need to go watch that movie...) -

Ardeth/Jonathan (The Mummy)

Eddy/Edd (Ed, Edd, n Eddy) -

Reese/Malcolm (Malcolm in the Middle) (I know in "Failed Logic" I said that I wouldn't ever do it, but... After watching a few specific episode suggested by the anonymous reviewer 'Zeta,' it actually makes sense. -le sigh- It is entirely possible that Reese has a crush on his brother. It is also likely that if he were to ever tell Malcolm this, that Malcolm could go along with it (and that's a very strained MAYBE). However, it does in fact go completely against their characters to actually act on their feelings. So something rather significant would have to happen for them to actually get together. But, either way, it's cute, and extremely HOT. XD)

To me, these are permanent. (Well... most of them. XD) I don't budge when it comes to them. (But not really.) In my mind the two people in each pairing where meant to be with each other and no one else. (Kinda.) Well, except with One Piece, I don't mind if Sanji is added in there with Zoro and Luffy to make a triangle, but I prefer ZoLu.

With the MTR pairings... I dunno. I started out liking Timecest, but then found A-A on LJ and became even more obsessed. So.. I guess I like both pairings--equally.

Oh yeah, and I made up the pairing name for JakexSpud. I thought it was clever, but if anybody has a better suggestion go ahead and tell me. XP

The dashes at the ends of some of the pairings (I think there're five) denotes that the pairing is practically canon, and might as well be. All six of the het pairings below are either practically canon as well, or actually are. (Go figure.)

Het Pairings I Like

AdamaxRoslin (Battlestar Galactica)

John SmithxJoan (Doctor Who) (Note that John Smith and the Doctor are two different people.)

PicardxCrusher (Star Trek: TNG) (Please note that that's Beverly Crusher. I don't like to think of Captain Picard as a pedophile. XD)

TonyxZiva (NCIS) (I told myself I wouldn't let this become a favorite pairing, but after a recent episode, I WANT THEM TOGETHER. BADLY.)

Lois/Hal (Malcolm in the Middle) (My gods, the obvious love these two have for each other is ADORABLE. Not to mention that I simply adore Jane Kaczmarek.)

Dan/Roseanne (Roseanne) (Haven't seen much of this show for various reasons, but from what I have seen, these two are awesome together.)

Pairing Theme Songs

Because I associate MANY things with music, here are several songs I associate with some of the above pairings:

Jack/Daniel - "Best Thing" by Boom Crash Opera; also "Fix You" by Coldplay

Riku/Sora - "Simple and Clean" by Utada Hikaru (GO FIGURE XD)

Kenny/Butters - "Check Yes Juliet" by We the Kings

Ron/Jake - "Every Time We Touch" by Cascada

Sam/Bumblebee - "Sweet Little Bumblebee" by Bambee (Don't ask... Seriously, don't.)

Wilbur/Lewis - "Little Wonders" by Rob Thomas (Again, go figure... XP)

Ash/Gary - "Everything You Want" by Vertical Horizon

Stanley/Zero - "If Only" by Fiction Plane (Seeing a pattern here?)

Reese/Malcolm - "Belle of the Boulevard" by Dashboard Confessional (With Reese being the "belle." ...Oh gods, Reese the hooker. XD)

As I think of more, I'll post them--cos I'm sure there WERE more...

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The Top Ten Reasons Why Anti-Gay Marriage People Are Stupid:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America. (Take that Fred Phelps!)

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage.

Sad, But True:

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Jordan Asks for Help Section

Lol, yes, this is a new section I'm creating in which I use my name and not my penname. Why? Because I like my name, and because it's after one in the morning and I feel silly. XD Anyway, this new section is one in which I ask you, the readers, to help me find fanfics that I have lost. Because I was too stupid at the time to fave the fic.

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Draco/Harry

Possible Title: Close Enough

Author: Unknown

Okay, so I read this fic a very long time ago. Had it on Alert, but then suddenly stopped getting them. From what I remember, Harry was half Vela (possibly half something else), and as such would attract anyone and everyone unless he wore some kind of pendant around his neck. Draco, I think, was part vampire. Somehow the two got together. I don't remember how or why, but it happened. Then all sorts of other things I don't remember happened, and eventually Hermione started a plot to break them apart. Which, I think, involved dumping Harry somewhere deep in the Hogwarts dungeon, removing his pendant, and throwing Ron, Neville, Seamus and Dean in there with him and them raping him. And I think that's the last part I ended up reading before I stopped getting Alerts.

I'm pretty sure this fic got taken down, because it was extremely graphic in some parts. (Like Harry and Draco dirty dancing in a club until they... release onto each other through their pants.) However, if anyone knows what this fic is, and possibly who the author is, I'd appreciate being told. Perhaps I can find the fic elsewhere on the internet. Cos really, it was quite good.

Thanks in advance for any possible advice.

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General Disclaimer: In case I've forgotten/I forget to put a disclaimer in a fic: Any character that I have not created myself, or that I do not explicitly say that I created myself, belongs to his or her respective owner. Any setting that I do not own belongs to its owner. Any song lyric that may or may not appear in one of my fics belongs to its respective artist. Any plot or character that I create belongs to me.

I usually try to give credit where its due in my fanfics, but my memory is terrible, so sometimes I forget. Sorry about that.