Mwahhahhah! You have just entered a world of completely terrifying insanity, you foolish mammals!

As you can probably tell, I am a HUGE fan of Donkey Kong's King K. Rool, but I will write about anything and everything. Whether writing from childhood nostalgia (Power Rangers, Lion King, the cartoon GI Joe movie vhs, the 1986 Transformers movie vhs, Gargoyles or Mortal Kombat), my love of all things Japanese-games (mostly Nintendo) and anime (Digimon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and Inuyasha)- an interest in language and biology combined in the form of alien lifeforms (Star Trek/Wars, AVP, or Halo), an apreciation for Tolkien, or about comics that have recently been made into movies (X-Men, Fantastic Four, and Ghost Rider); whether humor, angst, or anything in between, I always try to make my stories enjoyable. I do not have the means to collect classic issues of comics, so most of my information comes from internet summaries. I got interested in GI Joe comics through the Devil's Due series which has now been "disavowed". I tend to write about villains but ocaisionally write about heros or anti-heros.

Time for some soul cleansing. Everyone has some things they are not proud of and I'm going to be honest and share mine. I've matured over the last year (having an existential crisis in your last year as an undergrad tends to do that)and changed my opinions on a few things in my stories, and am now rather embarassed by the lack of description in my earlier stories. I'm also rather embarassed by some fanboy ranting on my part in my forums. I deleted two of my forums because of my own partially missinformed ranting. Japanese Mewtwo vs. Dub: I relied on my English ear, a dictionary, and a fansite instead of youtube fansubs and ranted based on my misunderstandings--I relied on one scene I could make out three words clearly, "Kono Myuutsu, bakabakashii," and relied on a fansite that said the original didn't have the "disturbing" conotations of friendship between Mewtwo and Ash. Having seen the ending with subtitles on Youtube, there was indeed a subtext of gratitude and possible friendship-I read that site's comments more strongly than they intended. The Halo movie: I read the worst possible outcome into a disjointed string of comments and became a fear monger) being too much of a coward to face my past. I probably shouldn't have deleted them but explained my mistakes and apologized for the rants, but I acted in the heat of the moment, much like when I first posted them. My biased (which I now recognize) fanboy opinions about "Why Scarlett and Snake-Eyes should be a couple" on my G.I. Joe forum are still up for everyone to see and may be entertaining to some. Also, I once responded angrily to a reviewer who rightly pointed out that a story of mine needed more description. I am ashamed of this. Fox The Cave II, I'm sorry. You tried to help me and I was rude to you. It was hard to get control of my emotions in the past and I was insecure about my writing when I first started writing, and I can only hope that I can do a better job with controlling my emotions now (the curse of stereotypical Celtic ancestry). I also must take responsibility for giving Alaer Kino incorrect information regarding the date of Chinese New Year-all I knew was that it's "the Spring Fesitval" and gave Alaer a date about two months too late. Alaer's story "J2: The Deception" is quite good and I think it withstood my bad info nicely.

I have some stories written in 2005 and 2006 that I'm in the process of rewriting to improve their quality. I'm not sure when I'll be through with reposting them. I'm going to completely start over from scratch with "The Insane Schemes of Four Quintessons" and "Fellowship of the Crystal Coconut" as they were in the worst shape. I'm completely re-writing the Gannondorf chapter of"Six Degrees of King K. Rool" to take place when his present incarnation is a teenager rather than a baby and I'm going to tone down the religious veneration of K. Rool on his part to a deep friendship and an alliance rather than vassal/overlord relationship. I only knew about Legend of Zelda back then through a friend and essentially just knew the characters' names and appearences (I feel like a hypocrite here). I was also very liberal in what the limits of canon were, treating Super Smash Bros as part of the canon Nintendo universe (never taking note of the fact that Samus is from the future or that they had three instances of the same charcter being split into two characters), taking elements from the Donkey Kong TV Show, and so forth. I also didn't treat the Donkey Kong Islands as part of the Mushroom World, because I could not remember any direct reference to it in the Donkey Country games, although the Mario games heavily imply it. On the other hand, Hasbro's "disavowel" of the last decade of Joe comics and the establishment of movie interpretations of comics doing things differently than the comic original has lead me to a kind of "characters as modern mythical figures" take on canon where I don't get cought up in the specifics of things like whether or not Mario is originally from Brooklyn. That being said there still things that need to be changed in my earlier fics. Having K. Rool's influence as far reaching is one thing, but it shouldn't have been to the fan boy uberlevels I depicted in my fics. Besides, making it subtler makes for better writing. So I'm probably going to make significant changes to "The True Creator" and "Six Degrees of King K. Rool". These stories, together with "Memoires of a Psychic Pokeclone" and "The Fellowship of The Crystal Coconut" are part of a continum of stories so I'm not even sure about leaving them up in their current form at all and may start from scratch with all of them. Only "Memoires" can stand on its own.

5/2011: My muse has left me for Dark Masters Do Europe and I have decided to start from scratch with my Super Smash Bros. fics. I'm now considering a story about Sektor from Mortal Kombat before he became a Cyborg. I once had a story about Leon Powalski from Star Fox that I might revisit. While I have no plans to revive my X-men 4 fanfic, a Karl Lykos one-shot is a possibility. I'm also considering replacing my Mewtwo C2 with one dedicated to the couple of Brooklyn (from Gargoyles) and Katana (from the Gargoyles comics by Slave Labor--WHICH IS THE SHOW'S CANNONICAL SUCCESSOR!)

I'm ashamed to admit that I kept up with Alaer Kino, Roy Olsen, and CII's stories on the one hand, but lost track of many others on the other hand and didn't bother to check my review history to see when they updated. I blamed college, a cumputer crash that only lasted a few days one time, and similar things. I was trying to deny favoritism even to myself. Some stories just struck something with me deeper in my psyche that others didn't to varying degrees. But as a human, er, Kremling, should I deny that personal favoritism made me keep up with some stories and not others? I regret loosing track of them, as I deprived myself of some good reads. I had favorite authors, but not favorite stories, so was I being inconsistent? Better move on before I get into a philosophical spiral.

Despite writing about ALL of these things, I still have a real life. I'm a 23-year-old male Type-1 Diabetic with Asperger's Syndrome and OCD in between graduate schools as I have shifted my focus from Medieval European History to Linguistics. I like to hang with friends or chat on facebook expect updates and reviews to be slow, really slow.

MY RELIGIOUS BELIEFS:

Go ahead and laugh at me but I've spent the summer of 2010 studying accounts of demonic possession (Gallagher; Ethiopian Case Study, which did not always claim to be successful; and Bill Bean, whom I find to be honest and scincere) and police records of poltergeist effects (Enfield, North London; Rosenheim, Germany; St. Cathrines, Ontario; Zaragoza, Spain; the Philip experiment) so I believe in the existence of a soul of some kind, whatever it's nature may be. While many reports of hauntings are doubtless hoaxes (like Amityville) I doubt that they all are. As a result of my senior existential crisis, I'm still a Christian but a much less fundamentalist toward the literal reading Bible one than I used to be. The creation account does not have to be made to fit geological history or the authors of certain books known, for the Bible to contain spiritual truth. I have a possible argument for the existance of an Abrahamic creator God, whom I have faith in without this argument, because of things in my own life that would not convince anyone else, and other arguments such as: I have on the basis of reactions to Demonic Possession concluded that there is a source of good in the spiritual demension, and I have historical reasons for believing in the divinity of Yeshua (Jesus).

Origin of the Universe (One Possible Argument)

Expiraments have demonstrated that it is possible to travel in 4d spacetime on the quantum level, and future measurements can affect past readings, but the observer is not bound to take the future measurements(Tollaksen and Popescu). Hence it seems that the timeline can be altered. If this is in fact the case, then we can accept this then we can accept the following:

I. Hypertime is the measure of change within the timeline.

II.Every change has a cause. A cause may merely be probabilistic if certain conditions are in place.

III. A causal chain cannot be infinite.

IV. The universe changed from a state of non-being to a state of being 13.7 billion years ago.

V. II and IV require that the universe had a cause.

VI. III and V require that this cause had no cause.

VII. II and VI require that this cause was changeless.

VIII. I and VII require that this cause was outside hypertime.

IX. To act in hypertime is to be in hypertime.

X. All of the above statements require that for an eternal cause to have a temporal effect it must have eternally willed for there to be an evolving creation to interact with.

XI. To evolve requires a beginning point.

XII. An eternal cause with a will is by definition, God.

I'm not a literal six day creationist who denies evolution, though. I'd accepted the age of the earth and evolution before my crisis began. I learned how common descent works in my college biology class in the spring of '09 and now I can't believe I told Halfjaw that Sangheili would have any DNA in common with earth reptiles.

Which God?

1. There are only three sets of holy texts that were written close enough in time to the events they describe to rule out legend. They are most of the New Testament and the writings of Ellen White and Joseph Smith. The Qur’ān does not include the story of Muḥammad’s conversion and the Bahá’í texts do not appeal to divine revelation. Regarding the others: Ellen White received a head injury as a child, and was known to be guilty of plagiarism. Joseph Smith kicked all of his “witnesses” out of the church because they disagreed with either polygamy or Smith’s level of power. Smith abandoned his church in Illinois when times got hard and only returned to deny charges of cowardice. He died in a gunfight. The “witnesses” that touched the golden plates only touched something wrapped in canvas that weighed 170lbs less than what Smith had described. William T. Hussey and Azel Vanderuver looked beneath the canvas, though Smith said it would kill them. They only saw a brick. Martin Harris, one of the three witnesses that saw the plates “with spiritual eyes” was a crazy man that had visions on a regular basis. One told him that Shakerism was the correct religion.

2. What about the New Testament? It is made up by different books written by different authors at different times. Each must be evaluated individually. Seven letters of Paul are universally considered genuine: Romans, 1-2 Corinthians, Galatians, Philippians, 1Thessalonians, and Philemon. We know from the language and style that they are by the same author. Several address disputes concerning circumcision and matters of the Law which ceased to be an issue after the temple was destroyed in A.D. 70, and they do not allude to the Neronian persecution of 64. This puts them between the Crucifixion (c.33) and Paul’s death (64). 1 Cor 15 possibly contains an early creed with Aramaisms that dates back to the year of the Crucifixion. The creed includes Resurrection appearances. Even without the creed 1 Cor 15 emphasizes the physical nature of the Resurrection. "Spiritual resurrection" does not make sense, for the spirit never stopped existing to be "resurrected." One can attempt to explain the appearences as lies or as group hallucinations.

3. Group Hallucinations: Hallucinations result from the chemistry in an individual’s brain. No two individuals can share the same hallucination. I’ve asked my psychiatrist. Furthermore, a single hallucination couldn't explain the empty tomb or the fact that first-century Jews had a concept of spirits being glorified and ascending to heaven immediately after death and before the general resurrection of all believers which would come at the end of history. If a disciple saw a vision of Yeshua, they would not automatically assume resurrection.

4. Were the Disciples liars? If they were then they were also masochists. Paul admits to persecuting the Church violently.

5. Enemy attestation: The earliest Jewish anti-Christian polemics acknowledge an empty tomb: “Those country bumpkin Galilean Disciples stole the body!”

6. Yosef of Aramathea's role in the burial: He's mentioned in every tradition about Yeshua's burial. If he were fictional we could expect to find traditons with somone else. However, it's Yosef in every tradition. This indicates that he was a real person. He would know if the tomb was empty or not.

7. I believe that Yeshua died on the cross for the sins of the world, and was resurrected. Something had to have hapened on the first Easter that caused the Disciples to proclaim the Resurrection.

LESS IMPORTANT STUFF:

Ethnic Background:

Angle (English)

Frank (French)

Briton (Welsh) (People of the Red Dragon!)

Muscogee (Native American from the Southeast)

Orientation: Straight

Political Views: I'm registered as an independent. I believe that abortion is a matter between a woman and her doctor and am very pro-choice in the early stages, but get more pro-life the further along a pregnancy gets. Any two or more adults who want to legally be united should be allowed to be, but by the same token relgious institutions should not be pressured into conducting the ceremonies; justices of the peace should suffice. I'm more right wing when it comes to the Second Amendment as I think people should be allowed to defend their homes, but I don't think people should be allowed to carry weapons around in public. I think that government should be a watchdog on the big coorporations and am a big believer in the FDA, but at the same time I fear government getting too powerfull and like it when the legislative and executive branches are controlled by different parties.

Stupid Things I've Said in Reviews:

Some of these are hillarioulsy funny.

1. Misreading "Goodbye, Jane" as "Goodbye, James" in Roy Oleson's "The Matrix Canon".

2. Only slightly less funny, not getting that "Miranda's New Pet" refered to a dragon in "The Voi Assessment".

3. Forgetting that Siobhan was already married in Asterik78's "Color My World and Erase Yourself".

4. Acting like a self-impressed wiki a. Telling Alaer Kino that Chinese New Year is in March. b. Telling Half Jaw that Sangheili would have DNA in common with earth reptiles. c. Arguing with an author I can't remember about the relationship between elven kings in the published Silmarillion vs. the unpublished later drafts. d. Accusing another author I can't remember of calling Naga Sadow the first Sith Lord when that author had done no such thing.

5. There are probably, no, certainly, many more that I have forgoten.

Dislikes:

Wal-Mart

Fangirls

Self-Loathing Fanboy

People who think "British" and "English" are synonyms.

MacDonalds and Burger King

Toilet Humor- I hate it if any badass character is involved, especially evil characters that should be taken seriously. It should be reserved for strictly comic characters.

Likes:

Favorite Song: "Scarborough Fair"

Favorite Movie: Dinosaur

Favorite Fiction Book: The Silmarillion

Favorite Characters:

Donkey Kong:K. Rool (My all-time fave PERIOD!)

Mario: Any of the 3 Snifits from SuperMario RPG

Star Fox:Leon Powalski

Tenchu:Onikage

Digimon:Metalseadramon

Yugioh:Maximillion Pegasus (Come on! He's the modern Akhenaden!)

Inuyasha:Naraku

Transformers:Quintesson Judge Diliberata

Star Wars:Xizor

Star Treck DS9:Dukat

Silmarillion:Morgoth

Power Rangers:

(Mighty Morphin')-Zedd

(Zeo)-Gasket

(Turbo)-General Havoc

(Space)-Darkonda

(Lost Galaxy)-Deviot

(Lightspeed Rescue)-Olympius

X-Men:Mr. Sinister (Karl Lykos Sauron is a close second)

Ghost Rider:Zarathos

Fantastic 4:Dr. Doom

GI Joe:Cobra Commander

Mortal Kombat:Sektor (Reptile and Onaga are very close)

Jackie Chan Adventures:Shendu

Gargoyles: Thailog

Non-Villains I like:

GI Joe: Snake-Eyes

Halo: Thel 'Vadam

Gargoyles: Brooklyn

Watchmen: Rorschach

Pokemon: Mewtwo